Shots in the Dark

by RunicTreetops

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Berry Punch, Human, Narcotics, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1429

Berry didn't come home tonight. Anon expected that.

Anon's wife, Berry Punch, is extremely late. While most would assume something is wrong, he knows exactly where to find her.

Written for Matcha.

Published 2024-10-26 21:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-10-26 21:50:02 UTC

Shots in the Dark

A chime rings out through Anon’s quaint Ponyville home. The house is completely dark, save for the warm light coming from a lamp on a small table next to the living room sofa. There, still dressed in his work clothes, is Equestria’s resident human. He looks up from the novel he had been invested in to check out the time on the still-ringing clock.

9:00 P.M.

Anon sighs as he closes his book and gently sets it down next to the lamp. He stands from his comfortable position on the sofa, dusting off his pants as he does so. It’s getting late, and a certain somepony is still conspicuously missing.

His wife, Berry Punch, should have gotten off work three hours ago.

With a click of his tongue, Anon hits the switch on the lamp to turn it off, shrouding the room in darkness. With nothing but muscle memory, he trudges across the living room, into the entryway, and up to the front door. If Berry isn’t at home, there’s really only one place she could be.

Anon stands before the unassuming tavern on the far side of town. Most ponies don’t even know this place exists. It’s tiny, and it’s tucked between two much larger buildings. Even in the middle of the day, the tavern is typically bathed in shadow. There isn’t so much as a sign outside except for the one hanging in the window reading “OPEN.” However, Anon knows this place well. Rolling his shoulders, he steps inside.

The interior of the tavern is just as unassuming as the exterior. There’s a bar on the right wall with about six stools lined up along it. On the left wall, four tables sit unoccupied. To the left of the door, the building’s only window looks out at a barely traveled street, and to the right, a piano with numerous broken keys collects dust. The only other rooms in the tavern are the restrooms along the back wall and the kitchen behind the bar.

There are only two ponies in the tavern. The first is a gruff-looking stallion with a tan coat and silver mane standing behind the bar, idly cleaning a used glass with a small cloth. The second is a familiar mare at one of the bar stools, her head resting on the glossy countertop and four empty mugs surrounding her. Her eyes have glazed over, but a delirious smile is plastered across her face. As Anon steps inside, he gives a smile and a nod to the stallion.

“Hey, Garth.”

“Evening, Anon. I was starting to think you weren't gonna show.”

“Sorry about that. I didn’t realize it was a social night.”

“Eh, no sweat off my back. Aside from the usual, she didn’t make a scene or anything. And hey, she actually paid her tab this time!”

“Least I don’t have to for once,” Anon chuckles as he approaches the mare sitting at the bar. She doesn’t react whatsoever until he’s right behind her, at which point he reaches out and begins to gently scratch behind one of her ears. “Berry, honey? It’s time to go.”

“Whuh?” Through squinted eyes, Berry struggles to make out anything in front of her. It takes her some time to realize that the person trying to get her attention is behind her, and once she does, she twirls with much more force than is necessary. She stares at Anon for almost ten solid seconds before those eyes suddenly go wide and a massive smile spreads across her face. “Hubby!”

“Berr– UGH!”

Anon winces as his wife throws herself at him, immediately wrapping all four legs around his torso and lifting herself out of the bar stool in the process. Despite her obvious drunken state, she holds him in a vice grip as she peppers his neck with kisses.

“You came for me! You really came for me!”

“Well, yeah. I always come for you.”

“You’re the BEST, Nonny!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Securing his wife with his left arm, Anon looks up to Garth. “Need any help before we go?”

“Nah, I’ve got it. Thanks for picking her up, Anon.”

“Hopefully she’ll know her limits next time, haha.”

With that, Anon carefully begins making his way out of the tavern with his favorite mare wrapped around his torso.

“But Nonny, I don’t wanna go yet!”

“It’s bedtime, sweetheart. I’m taking you home.”

“Noooooooooo~!”

Despite her protests, Anon marches right through the door and begins the long journey across town, made much more difficult thanks to the struggling drunken mare in his arms.

“I’m so sorryyyyyyyyyyyy!”

Berry sobs into Anon’s chest as he sits up against the headboard of their large, shared bed. She holds him tight as he gently rests a hand on her head, giving it gentle pats and scritches and making her ears twitch cutely. The sun’s morning light pours through a nearby window, and the house is quiet and peaceful.

“I keep telling you, it’s fine.”

“It’s nooooooot! I do this every single time my coworkers invite me out!”

“And? No one got hurt, Garth was cool with it… I’d say everything turned out okay.”

“But I can’t keep embarrassing you like this!”

“You’re not embarrassing me, Berry.”

“I am. I know I am.” She falls silent, her body going extremely still until she eventually speaks up again. “Everyone told me I was only good for making a fool of myself when I was younger. I… I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. B-but this is different! I don’t want people thinking badly about you because of my mistakes!”

“Berry, listen to me.” Anon cups her cheeks in his hands as he forces her to look up at him. “I love you. There is no amount of ridicule that will ever change that. It’s no one’s decision but mine how I feel about you, and the only thing I feel is adoration.”

“H-huh?”

Anon leans in to give Berry a quick, chaste smooch before continuing.

“I’ll admit, some moderation would do you some good. But that’s just because I care about your health.”

“But…”

“Berry, do you know what happens every single time I go to pick you up?”

“I probably make a mess of things, for one.”

“No.” Anon gives her a warm, loving smile. “Every time, no matter how drunk you are, no matter how tired, no matter how… out there you seem, you always do the same, cute little gasp and throw yourself into my arms when you see me. Every. Single. Time.”

“That must be so annoying.”

“Quite the opposite!” Anon smooches her again. “Knowing that your first reaction when seeing me, even when inebriated, is pure joy and excitement? Well, that’s certainly one way to remind me how much you love me.”

“I…”

“And another is right here.” Anon points to his neck, which is still coated in the faded outline of numerous kiss marks from her love-fueled barrage of smooches the night prior. “I wear them with pride.”

“Sweet Celestia, even when I’m trying to be sorry, you just can’t help being a huge dork, can you?”

“Nope!”

Berry gives him a playful nudge before sliding forward just a bit further. Closing what little remains of the gap between them, she kisses him in earnest. Anon notes that the taste of wine still lingers on her tongue. It’s a flavor he’s gotten used to, though no amount of alcohol could ever be as intoxicating as Berry herself. He, too, finds himself addicted, and the pair allow themselves to melt into each other, their tongues dancing and their emotions being shared in a fashion words could never hope to compete with.

When they separate, Anon swears he’s a little tipsy.

“Thank you, Nonny. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Berry. Thanks for… you know. Being you.”

“Dunno who else I’d be~!” she chuckles as she struggles to climb out of Anon’s embrace and off of the bed. “That said, I think I need a coffee. And a cold shower. And some ibuprofen.”

“I’ll make you some breakfast while you do that.”

“Thank yooooouuuuuuuu~!”

With her sweet voice filling the bedroom, Berry escapes into the attached bathroom. Anon smiles and lets out a contented sigh. She might not be the most conventional partner, but he wouldn’t trade her for the world.

…Though the sound of vomiting coming from the bathroom is a mite concerning.

Author's Note

Please drink responsibly. :heart:

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!