Author's Note

It's late for the show, but it's good to go. Happy Halloween, everybody.

"...A Little Candy Too..."

[Canterlot Dungeons - 12 days till execution - Lending Voice POV.]

"I must say that your tale is unsettling, Miss Pie. Did you truly not understand what was happening at that moment?" I etched Pinkie Pie's tale into my notepad as I sat outside her cell. The guards had pulled out all the stops with her restraints. A large iron yoke held her frame down to the floor. All her limbs had a chain link bolted to each corner of the cell. It ensured that Pinkie Pie had little room to move. Princess Celestia had personally seen to it that each cell wall had a rune that would emit a high-frequency sound should Pinkie Pie make any escape attempts. I heard stories that King Sombra used magic to 're-educate' his dissenters. Many of his captives were left deaf.

"I sure didn't, doc. I was too busy being silly old Pinkie Pie. I had no idea Hard Case was having a private party session with Mrs cake until three months later. I found Mrs Cake cruddling the twins while crying her eyes out. She kept going on and on about how she was a horrible mother and all that jazz. It isn't true, of course. I made sure she knew that! It was easy bringing him into the basement for a party session with each other-- just a small flick of the tail and batting my eyes like Rarity, and he was pudding in my hooves. Although. I don't think he can say he liked the smile I gave him over Mrs. Cake."

"...And that was the start of your - let's call it extracurricular activities - the start of Bloody Pastry Baker."

"Hehehe. That's a silly name for my work. I don't think it's any different from the usual smiles I bring to ponies."

I shifted about, uncomfortable at her gleeful tone. "Miss Pie--"

"Hey, Miss Pie was my Grandmama. Pinkie is fine."

"...Yes, Pinkie. I hope you realize that many ponies would disagree with your idea of bringing smiles to ponies. You fed ponies to other ponies for months. It is safe to say that most Equestria can be called victims of your baked goods."

"Hmm, that's weird. I didn't see anypony complaining after eating my baked goods."

"That's because they didn't know what they were eating!" I may have put too much force in my tone as Pinkie glances at me strangely.

"So, what? Ponies are upset with my secret ingredients?"

"We are herbivores, not carnivores, Pinkie Pie! Equines are not flesh eaters like griffons, dragons, and timberwolves. You have effectively forced us to be cannibals!"

"Well, if you stop and think for a second, maybe ponies can eat meat, but in a different way. If I had never gotten caught, nopony would've known any better. And, if we honestly didn't like meat, wouldn't ponies have figured out something was wrong a lot faster?"

I had to pause momentarily as what Miss Pie was saying made horrifying sense. "Y-You masked the taste somehow."

"Did I, though? I know from a friend in Manehattan who works in a butcher shop that the smell and taste of blood don't go away quickly unless you cook it. The taste is hard to miss, and you can't flood a pastry with too much sugar, or it will be too sweet. I had to think about every customer that came by the shop." Under the darkness of her cell, Miss Pie's signature smile resembled that of a demon than a pony. "I think a lot of ponies are lying to themselves."

I felt myself sweating profusely. The very idea that ponies would enjoy eating flesh and blood is sickening. I should change the subject. But doing that would give possible merit to Miss Pie's calm, which I deny with every fiber of my being. "I am afraid I have to disagree, Miss Pie. Based on the populations' adverse reactions to what you were feeding us, nopony shares your sentiments. I also know a few chefs here in Canterlot. There are ways to dilute the taste of blood, such as using vinegar, herbs, and citrus juice. There were several stocks of these items in the basement of Sugarecube Corner. But the biggest flaw in your argument is how you obtain your meat. You tortured Ponies, Miss Pie. You hacked, slashed, cut open, beaten, and shocked ponies! You could've ended them quickly, but you delighted in their pain! Why else would you tear off wings, cutie marks, and horns!!!"

I felt myself lose a bit of composure after my rant. Strangely, Miss did not react detrimentally. She merely had a thoughtful expression before responding. "Alright, alright. You got me. I may have taken the preparation process a bit more personally. But can you blame me? Those ponies were all a lot like Hard Case, who take advantage of others and don't care if their actions hurt anypony else. Mrs Cake wasn't the first one, you know. Hard Case had all sorts of parties from Canterlot to Manehattan."

"How did you discover this?" Princess Celestia's protege told me that Pinkie Pie possesses strange and unpredictable abilities despite being an Earth pony. When interviewing the residents of Ponyville about this subject, all I got as an answer was 'Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.'

"I just put on my deceptive hat and bagpipe and did some excellent old sleuthing. Did you know many ponies don't have locks on their doors? Hay, there are no locks at all in some places. Weird, right? Anywho, I found a whole folder of party guests in Hard Case's house. It had photos and gem recorders. I think I have one of them. Hold on..."

I didn't know what I expected when Miss Pie regurgitated the recorder gem. But, it played out a scene of Hard Case post-coitus as a reluctant young mare services him. I quickly pick the gem up with my magic and turn it off, unable to hide my disgust towards the stallion. "...Even if Equestria is better off without such a stallion trotting around, why did you not turn in the evidence you found to the royal guard? Hard Case would've faced proper justice under the scrutiny of the crown."

"Because ponies like Hard Case have a knack for getting out of trouble. Some of those pictures and recorders are super duper old. If nopony caught before me, then they never would have. And between you and me, the royal guard has been pretty useless regarding threats. I want to say they try their best, but they have to try in the first place."

"It still did not have to be you, specifically."

"Of course, it had to be me. Nopony else had my Pinkie sense. It comes in handy, sniffing out the grumpy ponies. It would've been impossible to keep the pastries going if I did not have my Pinkie sense. The real nasty ponies are good at hiding if you don't know where to look. Hay, Spoiled Rich was right in Ponyville messing up the grades of fillies and coats she thought were lost causes. And she was always frowning around everypony. That's why my work is important. Even if you are a grump, a part of you can always make someone smile. Hahaha, it's funny. She used to be called Spoiled Milk, but she made a fine milkshake."

I swallow a lump as another question pops into my head. "...How is it that you were able to make so many prominent ponies disappear without anypony noticing?"

"Oh, that part was easy. My trusty little assistant, Applebloom, is good at making potions with our friend Zecora. I just asked her to whip up something that slightly tweaks the memory. I had to tell it to her to help me forget some bad nightmares so Zecora wouldn't come snooping around. From there, I would go to the pony's homes and make them forget about any missing ponies popping up. That also meant taking photos of my helpers. That part is always a hassle. The effects of the potion last for a few weeks. Just enough time to make and mix more into the regular pastries."

The temptation to ask if Pinkie Pie is an Earth pony was staggering because none of this sounded possible. "How can you be okay with involving a filly?"

"I had everything premade the night before we opened up. I didn't have Applebloom do anything besides mixing the bowl. She wouldn't get it. What's that old saying again? Ignorance is bliss. It helps when ponies don't remember the ingredients, especially if they learned how big of a meanie the missing ponies were. Like Rumble's brother. Permit Twist's nanny. Cranky doodles' wife. Your husband. That would've made ponies sad, which is the opposite of what I want!"

I checked my pocket watch to see if it was a quarter past four. "It looks like our time is almost up, so I'll ask one more question: why did you maim Rainbow Dash? She was one of your friends - a fellow element bearer - and the furthest thing from a 'grumpy' and 'meanie.' And I don't believe it was because she didn't like one of your pies. I am sure you had plenty of ponies that changed their minds about certain foods."

For the first time since this session started, Miss Pie went silent. There were no catty remarks, no spontaneous giggling, just silence. This sudden quietness was the most disturbing of all the dialogue we exchanged. "You know, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes, I wish I was still past Pinkie. Present Pinkie can't have as much fun. The one that made Dashie blow me off."

"Who? Who are you talking about?"

"I can practically taste the wild favor from cupcake that meanie would've been. Well, maybe more like a crumcake. That would match 'cool personality' better. Yeah, a brown cinnamon cake with white frosting and purple trimming along the sides."

Pinkie Pie started to drool from this cake. Was this another unknown victim? The way she talks makes me believe somepony else managed to escape. "Miss Pie. You agreed to be upfront with me. Who is this pony?"

"Excuse me, doctor. Your time is up." A guard said as she came to escort me out.

"W-Wait, I still have questions."

"Princess Celestia was very clear about the time frame, Doctor Voice. Let's go." The guard said again.

"It's okay, doc. Remember what I said about ignorance and all that? I appreciate you talking with me. I'm glad I could help out with your marriage problems." Pinkie said as the guard began to pull me away.

"What? But I'm not married!!!"

"Oh, right, the potion's effects sometimes last longer for different ponies than others. You'll probably find out any day now. At least you got something good from that cheater with the cookies."

A rising panic starts to fill my chest. I never ate from the bakery; my only cookies were in my bag, delivered to my house a week before Miss Pie's capture. Something clicked as I shuddered at the name of those cookies. "...Cinnamon Chocolate...?!"