My Big Human

by RapeTrain-Express

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Lyra, Comedy
Length: 3457

Lyra buys a human dildo. Hilary ensues.

Lyra buys a new toy for herself to satisfy a lust she has, while a human across the vast reaches of space is about to get laid in a unique way.

Published 2012-10-15 05:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-15 05:40:01 UTC

Friendship can be Kinky

“My life is shit.” You mumble to yourself as you drive back home.

Another fucking glorious day on planet Earth. Here’s how your morning went: You woke up in your bed, you showered in cold water because the fucking heater was acting up. You left your apartment house and had to smell the scent of 60’s carpet as you walked to the staircase. As you walked down you ended up tripping on a beer can and fell flat on your face from two steps up. The fall left you crying like a bitch for a good 15 minutes as you ran back to your room and made sure nothing was broken, especially in your face area. After that you went outside and hopped into your run down Orange Sunfire and noticed some guy tagged your car with some eggs you started to drive for work. As usual you ended up in bumper to bumper traffic and once again for the 5th time in a row you arrived late to work.

Your job? God damn fry cook at a KFC. As you walk in the old place, your nose is greeted with the smell of deep fried chicken that at one point smelled great but after working with it for so long you began to hate the smell. The job sucked, but it made the minimum requirement for living. Sadly today wasn’t your day, as you started to walk to the back, your boss stood glaring at you.

“You know you’re late again. 5th time this week.” He says melodramatically.

“Traffic. You know that always happens considering I live on the other side of the city.” You answer back not giving a shit.

“Yeah well I hate to break it to you but I think it’s time to let you go…” He answers back.

“WHAT! Come on, I know I’m late lots of days but I work my ass off for you!” You say worried you’ll lose this easy job.

“I know but business has been slow as of late and I need to cut loose a few of you. Considering you can’t even arrive on time signals you need to go.” He says with disappoint.

“Please don’t! I need this job!” You beg as you grab his shoulders.

“And I need my wife to get my rocks off but we both know that won’t happen anytime soon. I’m sorry I had too but it’s best for the business.” He says calmly as he grabs your hands and pushes them off.

You find yourself at a loss for words and he turns around and heads into the back. Just like that you lost the easiest job in the world. You let the emotions hit you as you turnaround to leave but are greeted by a fellow employee holding a large drink.

“Hate to lose you man. It was fun to have you around though. Here have a free drink before the boss sees me giving off free stuff. It’s ice cold Mountain Dew. I know you like it.” He says to you as he hands you the full drink.

You stare at it with a blank stare but take it just to spite your former boss.

“Thanks I guess. See you around never.” You say as you walk out the door and take a sip of your drink.

“Ding dong!” The door bells echoes into the small pony house.

“EEEEE, IT’S FINALLY HERE!’ Lyra squees with a big smile on her face hoping her package she ordered a week ago had arrived.

She opens the door and is greeted by a white Pegasus with a flowing pink mane wearing a Pony Xpress mail hat. Lyra also notice her cutie mark is a sun slightly covered by clouds. Lyra also notices a large bag of mail being saddled on her back.

“Special delivery for Ms. Lyra Heartstrings.” She says in a cheerful voice as she reaches into the bag and pulls out a box.

Lyra continues knowing she can finally try it out. She quickly signs the papers; grab the box with magic and runs back into the box leaving the mail mare starring at a close door.

“My my…enjoy your new toy my little pony…” The mare says in a regal tone as she quickly adjusts her cap with the hidden horn under it.

Lyra puts the box on the floor and quickly catches her breath and quickly recalls how she got this thing.

She recently earned enough bits from work to buy herself the new biggest thing in Equestria. May ponies called it many different things but Princess Celestia herself called the metal box a computer. After reading on how to hook it up to her house she turned it on and saw a lot of different things but the one thing that caught her attention the most was the little icon of a white mare holding N with the words PonyNet before it. Along with the creation of the computer, PonyNet was also a huge thing as well. At a press conference the Princess herself stated that *PonyNet was a gate way to the rest of the universe, and that we should reach out and grab hold of it.* Lyra wasted no time at all in searching for things about Equestria. She first started with music, and then slowly drifted to historic pony figures of music. As she was browsing away a small ad begin to flash at the bottom of her screen.

“What’s this?” She said to herself as she clicked the link and it opened up to max view.

“BORED OF THOSE SAME OLD STALLION DICKS!? FEEL LIKE TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT!? TRY A SPECIES FROM A DIFFERENT GALAXY! The link site reads as it goes big. Lyra stares bewildered and confused by this sudden vulgar ad. She stares at it for a few minutes thinking if she should click it just for the fun of it. She clicks it and gets sent to a new page and suddenly her face turns into a mix of what the fuck and more curiosity. Before her stood a page that was selling themed dildos of all the races in the universe, ranging from Sea slugs to Robotic dogs from hell. She was clearly not amused by this but something inside her told her to browse the page a bit more. Sure enough she came to an ad on special. MY BIG HUMAN! FRIENDSHIP IS EROTIC! ON SPECIAL FOR A LIMITED TIME! 50% OFF! The ad says in big colorful letters.

“Human?” Lyra says with a curious look in her eyes.

She read about them in books in the Canterlot archives on a trip awhile back. She saw lots of pictures of them. She couldn’t explain it but she felt attracted to this furless bipedal creatures. The books gave full anatomy diagrams of them letting her learn everything she could learn. She quickly clicked the ad to see if it’s real. As soon as it opens her jaw drops and her eyes get saucer pan wide. Before her stood a rather large, pink penis. She saw a few diagrams where it showed it just hanging loose but never erect. She looks over it with greedy eyes. Smooth looking texture, a glimming shine to it, and a tip that reminded her of a mushroom head. She was always curious to how one of those would feel inside of her despite it being from a foreign race. Below the ad was a price tag of an 80 bit cost that was crossed out and replaced with a 40 bit mark along with a mailing address to Canterlot of all places. Against her better judgement her curious nature got the better of her and she ended up mailing the bits to the address and began to wait…

“OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!! OH MY ….uhhh….”Lyra squeels as she opens the box gets rather confused when she notices the human dildo was flaccid.

She begins to poke at it thinking she got a defect in the mail. The skin on it almost feels like rubber as she pulls on the foreskin to look inside of it. After taking a look at that, she starts to move the balls of it in a small motion. To her they feel like the real thing! As she pulls them, the dick suddenly twitches in her hoof. She backs away from it thinking it`s alive. Lyra watches in confusion as it slowly looks like it’s about to harden up but stops moving. Lyra stares at it thinking it’s actually alive. She quickly grabs the box hoping she can find a reason for this thing. As she grabs it, she notices a small envelope at the bottom of it. She must have missed it when she grabbed the dick. Lyra quickly grabs it and opens it open. She quickly scans and figures out it’s instructions on how to use it.

“My big Human instructions. To get to desired hardness and length you must…what? Simulate it like a real one!?” She says surprised as her head jerks back.

“Well…let’s see if this works…” She says to herself as she grabs the limpy dick and starts to run her hooves up and down it.

You continue to drive along letting the music sooth your soul. Viking Death March always seemed to work wonders for your psyche. While driving away begin to think on what to do today. Fap, eat, fap, shower, call parents for money, fap again, and then drink for the rest of the day because you lost and easy job and realize you’re still a damn virgin despite being 24! Suddenly you feel something touch your dick and it nearly makes you jump out of the seat. Your first thought that a spider got into your boxers but the way it tugged at your foreskin scared you more. While keeping one hand on the wheel you quickly pull your pants forward to see what just touched you. You see nothing but your lonely manhood. Suddenly that same feeling returns but this time it begins to rub your balls.

Your next reaction is that a horny ghost found their way into your vehicle. It was very illogical to think about, but it’s the only thing you can off. You want to panic and run from your car but being surrounded by other vehicles keeps you in check. You’ll calm down and maybe the spirit will go away. You want to calm but then the spirit or whatever force grabs a hold of it and starts to stroke it, however it doesn’t feel like a hand that stroking you. The feeling is flat and a bit rough.

“Go away, this is too fucking creepy.” You say as you lean forward and watch as your dick is stroked.

Trying to think straight while driving was becoming hard to do for you. You try to fight the feeling but your dick has other plans and starts to harden up. The force of whatever is stroking you is start to pick up it’s speed.

“Goddamit! Stay down you little bastard!” You curse at yourself.

You quickly reach for your soft drink you grabbed from the restaurant, pop off the plastic lid, grab some ice, and apply it to your dick. You wince from the coldness of it, but the blood slows down and your dick starts to go back down. You sigh with relief as you calm back down.

“Heh..sorry however you are but your not- OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK!?” You start to say but as you about to finish a new feeling hits you.

It feels wet and fleshy. It even feels like lips but something is off. Unlike the last feeling, this one actually feels good. Kinda reminds you of your fleshlight you have back at your place. This time around you can’t fight the feeling as it starts to harden up again. You try ice one more time but it fails. Whatever force is doing this wants your dick very badly.

“Go away….” You whine as you try to focus on driving.

As if hearing you the force disappears. As you sigh for relief the force returns as that wetness returns but this time starts at the head of it and slowly descends down your shaft with absolutely any hesitation. It feels really wet and warm. You feel it squeezing over your whole dick as it continues to go down. You don’t want to admit it but this is better than any fleshlight you’ve ever had! Suddenly a horn brings you back into focus as you look forward and see a damn semi barreling toward you. You scream and jerk yourself into your lane.

“Are you trying to get me killed!?” You attempt to yell at the invisible force. It only answers back by starting to ride fast against you.

“That’s it. Get nice and big for me…” Lyra says smiling as the dildo begins to raise up as she rubs her minty cunt against it.

Using her hooves worked but it quickly went down again. Getting flustered that her toy wasn’t working, she decided to try a different approach. So far it was working for her. Lyra loved the way it felt as she rubbed against it. Its alien figure aroused her very being. After it goes to its fullest length she smiles and pulls away from it.

“Wow you’re big. I wonder if all humans are your size~” She says to it as if it was real.

After that she positions her wetness over the end of it and slowly descends on it.

“Ohhhh~” She moans as she feels the life like texture of the dildo begin to go into her.

The feeling of something alien inside her wetness aroused her even more. After taking the whole length of it in she starts to buck her lower body to simulate herself. She loved it more then she thought. It actually felt alive to her as it twitched a few times inside her.

“Ohhhh, you’re going to make me a happy mare…” She hissed in pure bliss as she picks up her speed on it.

You continue to drive even with the invisible force violating you. Whatever is riding you is tight as hell. It reminds you of the first time you used that fleshlight but 100 times better. You find it harder to keep focus as you feel yourself already peaking. You actually had good endurance but the feeling was new and different, and very exciting, though you didn’t want to admit it. Plus the fact there was vehicles full of people around that could be watching you was arousing you way too much.

“No…not yet you little bastard. Not yet…” You say as you feel it coming up.

“Oh my gosh!~ So close~ So close!” The little mare moans with her tongue hanging out in great pleasure as she continues to buck herself against the human dildo.

The life like toy inside her was driving her wild with lust. The unique figure of it was hitting all the right spots with every bucking motion. She didn't want to stop on it. Just as she’s about to hit her climax she feels the penis twitch inside her and without any other warning she feels a spray of warm liquid shot out of it. It felt so real to her, like an actual penis just came inside her. She slowly stops and rises up to see actual cum dripping from her.

“This thing can even copy a real orgasm!? BEST BUCKING TOY EVER!!” She screams as she plunges herself back down on it.

Immediately after she says that the penis begins to go flaccid.

“WHAT!? Why are you going soft on me!? Is this thing on a time limit!? I’m not finished!!!” Lyra screams still trying to hit her climax as she speeds up.

Try as she might to once rock hard toy turns into its flaccid form and slips out of her soaking wet cunt.

“Argh WHY!? I WAS….SO CLOSE!!” She screams as her turns around and starts stroking it.

Sadly it stays flaccid and in a rage of sexual frustration she turns around and bucks the toy against the wall. Lyra stares at the toy with a glare of disappoint and frustration. She still needed to get off and just needed a bit more. She quickly looks around for something to use on her craving marehood. The only item she can use that wouldn’t hurt her is the small round doorknob on her front door. Taking a chance she quickly runs over to it and positions her cunt to the knob and tries to push it in. Desire was clouding her better judgement as she quickly pushrf herself into it. Suddenly she hears a knock on the door and before she can react, the door shots open.

“Hello Lyra, I thought I would come over to-oh…oh my…” A certain beige earth pony with a blue mane with a pink streak running through it.

She stops and stares at the soaking wet marehood of a very shocked Lyra.

“Did-did I come at a wrong time?” The mare asks her.

Lyra stares wide eyed at the wall realizing one of her friends just saw her in the heat of the moment. It takes a second to sink in, but when it those she screams loud and runs upstairs to her room leaving a very confused mare at the door. She doesn’t say anything and just closes the door and walks away.

“Oh my god…” You moan as you continue to try to drive as the mysterious force to get you off.

You never felt something so great in your life. Whatever is wrapped around your dick is riding it like a beast! If it wasn’t for the huge amount of traffic you would have pulled over and just started to enjoy it. You just lean your head on the wheel and take it. You can feel it picking up its speed more and more and you getting up to a very exciting but odd climax. You grip the steering wheel so tight your hands start to get sore.

“Hurry up and finish already, I can’t t-take it anymore!” You whine as the sweat begins to roll down your head.

Suddenly a new thought comes into your head. Once you get off your seat and rug are going to get sprayed with love juice. Last thing you need is your car smelling like dirty sex, especially when your friends know you’ll never get a women.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” You shout as you grab your dick in an effort to stop the feeling.

Nothing works and soon you hit the point where you can only hold it in and let it out in a big load. You quickly pull your pants back up and cover it realizing you can’t stop it.

“oh god, oh god, ohgodohgodohgodohgaaaaaaaa….” You moan as you feel your climax hit.

You feel it all leave you but your sweats stay dry. You grab your pants and pull forward to see no jizz anymore.

“Where the fuck did my jizz go? I couldn’t have shoot blanks! I haven’t fapped in two days! Seriously what the fuck!?” You say confused and scared at the lack of happy juice in your pants.

You lean into your wheel and pant loudly while accidentally beeping your horn at the car in front of you. You quickly look up and notice it’s not just any old car. It’s a god damn police cruiser. You notice the cop look at you in his mirror and you get worried. Much to your relief he looks away and continues to drive. Even though you came the mysterious force still continues to ride you. You could never stay hard after a climax no matter what you did, and soon you start to go soft The force starts to go faster but stops realizing you’re not going back up, it leaves. Just when you think it’s over you suddenly feel something hard hit you in the balls! You felt you just got kicked by a horse. You cry out in pain and struggle for air as knock your head against the horn beeping at the cop again.

“Oh god why!? What the fuck did I do to you!?” You hiss in pain while gripping your hurt manhood.

This time the spirit doesn’t return to you but suddenly the sirens on the cop car go on. The car pulled into the next lane and as he signals you to stop you realized you’re fucked.