“No. Absolutely not. We’re not doing this again.”

One early-October afternoon, Twilight Sparkle sat in her throne room, shutting down the proposal that Rainbow Dash and Applejack had given her.

“What do you mean?!” Rainbow Dash asked, flabbergasted.

“I’m not going to enable you two by turning No Clop November into yet another one of your stupid competitions!” Twilight yelled, angrily slamming her hoof down on the table.

Applejack tried to reason with Twilight. “Aw, come on, how’s this different from any other time?”

“EXACTLY! How is this going to be different from any other time you two let your egos get in the way of everything?!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other and winced. They opened their mouths to try and come up with a reason, and then quickly shut up again.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Twilight shook her head, starting to stand up from her seat.

“Twilight, come on!” Rainbow pleaded. “We’ll be better this time, really!”

“And if it’s a team competition, then it won’t just be us butting heads like we usually do!” Applejack added.

“Great, so instead of just you two, it’d be twenty-something others following your lead. Fun,” Twilight dryly remarked.

“Come on Twilight, you won’t have to do much,” Rainbow Dash said, trying to reason with her. “Just help us track the eliminations and we’ll keep things out of your mane!”

Twilight looked between the two. “Give me one good reason why I should agree to help you two out.”

“...We’ll let you record the orgy.”

“...”

“...”

“...Damnit.”

Sweet Apple Acres was filled with vibrant farm land, the smell of perfectly ripe apples, and more importantly, a bunch of familiar faces all gathered excitedly for the big event about to take place.

Applejack took a quick head count to check that everyone was accounted for, before grabbing a megaphone. “Alright, looks like everyone’s here, so let’s kick things off!”

Heads started to turn towards Applejack’s amplified voice as she spoke. “Glad to see y’all made it! Hope y’all are ready for another exciting month of No Clop November!”

The crowd started cheering and whistling, already creating an uproar of excitement.

Applejack chuckled at all the applause. “Heh, well that’s good! Cause y’all better be in it for the long run! So, starting tomorrow-”

“Yeah yeah, they all know the drill,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “Don’t cum for the whole month and you get to be a part of the orgy, wet dreams don’t count, blah blah blah.” She snagged the megaphone from Applejack. “NOW WHO’S GONNA FUCKING MAKE IT TO THE ORGY WITH ME?!”

The group roared louder at Rainbow Dash’s temporary stage takeover as Applejack reclaimed possession of the megaphone.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Well, Ah was gonna make it clear for the few that are first time participants…”

“Oh, like they haven’t heard of us doing this thing for years!” Dash scoffed. “I think they know what they’re getting into!”

“Aren’t you forgetting we’re changing things up, Dash?” Applejack spoke into the megaphone once more to address the crowd. “Ah know for most of y’all, this ain’t your first rodeo, but with the two of us hosting this year, we decided to do something a lil’ different.”

The group gave the two mares confused looks. Were the rules suddenly about to change this year?

“The basic rules are still in play,” Dash said, noticing all the confused and concerned faces in the crowd. “You still gotta hold out for the whole month and stuff.”

“But instead of doing it for yourself, you’re gonna be doing it for your team!”

The general sentiment from the group’s in-talk was that they understood, at least a little.

“Yep! Since we’re hosting this year, we thought it’d be fun to spice things up with a little competition!” Dash was already pounding her hooves together to get herself fired up. “So! You’ll either be playing for my team…”

“Or my team!” Applejack declared. “And whichever team has the most players remaining at the end of the month wins!”

“Now, you might be wondering what being on the winning team gets. Well! Aside from massive bragging rights, they also get first dibs during the orgy,” Dash explained. “So once it hits midnight, the team that comes in first gets the privilege of cumming first!”

“Now that might not mean much right now, but Ah think most of us have seen how desperate some can get at the tail end of the month. Havin’ ta wait another ten minutes or so is gonna be brutal.”

As Applejack talked, there were a few sympathetic nods from the crowd, knowing all too well the pain of stumbling right at the finish line.

“So! Now you have an incentive not just to keep yourselves in, but to help your fellow teammates out, too!” Applejack nodded.

“Or you know, take out someone on the other team…” Dash casually suggested.

As Babs and Cozy gave each other a look at the mention of potential sabotage being rewarded, Gallus raised up his claw. “So, uh, what happens if there’s a tie?”

Applejack tilted her hat to the side. “Well, we thought about that, and well, if it comes to that, then the orgy’ll just continue as usual.”

“Wouldn’t be nearly as fun to not reap the reward, but what can ya do?” Dash shrugged.

“Doubt anyone’s gonna complain when they come back here by the end of the month,” Applejack chuckled.

“I wanted to have it up in Cloudsdale when I won, but some here have a problem with heights, and some still have lingering trust issues.”

“It happened one time!” Cozy Glow immediately piped up in her own defense as Yona glared at her.

“Alright, if there aren’t any more questions, let’s get you into teams!” Applejack held out a bit in her hoof, tossing it in the air. “Call it, RD.”

“Tails!”

Applejack caught the coin between her hooves. When she moved her hoof away, it showed the head of a pony engraved onto the bit. “Heh, heads. Guess Ah get first pick.”

Rainbow let out a short sigh as the two went to opposite sides of the stage, ready to pick their teams.

Applejack didn’t have to think long about her first pick. She knew from the start who she wanted on her side. “Celestia.”

“Oh my, I’m honored!” Celestia said with a lighthearted giggle.

“Ugh, typical…” Chrysalis grumbled as she watched the princess make her way to the stage.

“Figures,” Tirek added in, rolling his eyes as she walked past.

Dash clenched her teeth and growled, though she wasn’t that surprised. She was going to pick Celestia if she got the first draft. Still, going second had the perk of picking the next two for her team. “Luna, Fluttershy, get up here!”

“Oh!” Fluttershy was surprised that she was picked so early. And with Princess Luna, no less.

When Luna got on stage, she looked over at Celestia standing with Applejack. The fact that she was yet again being put up against her sister made her smirk.

Applejack figured that Dash would take Luna after she nabbed Celestia. Having Fluttershy would’ve been nice too, but she had other choices. “Alright, Ah pick…Pinkie Pie and Little Strongheart.”

“Woohoo!” Pinkie cheered, immediately wrapping her hoof around Little Strongheart as she bounced to the stage.

Like Fluttershy, Little Strongheart was also surprised she was picked this early in the draft. But she wasn’t about to complain.

“Okay…” Dash put a hoof to her chin to think. She wanted someone on her team that she knew had a good chance of making it through, but there was also someone else on her mind that she absolutely did not want Applejack to take. “Ocellus and Gilda.”

“I…rrrgh!” The fact that Ocellus got picked before her filled Chrysalis with a rage she was barely suppressing.

Ocellus clenched her teeth and looked the other way as she walked onto the stage. She didn’t know what’d be worse: being on the same team as Chrysalis, or going against her.

“Hell yeah!” Gilda landed on stage right in front of Rainbow, going in for a fist bump. “Smart choice, Dash!”

Applejack took another look at the remaining group. Most of them were eager to be next, while others were pretending not to care. “Hmm…Derpy and…” Applejack paused, taking another scan before realizing who she could snag. “...Spitfire.”

“Ooh, I’m on Applejack’s team!” Derpy chirped as she fluttered over to Applejack’s side, right next to Princess Celestia. “Hiya Princess!”

Spitfire raised an eyebrow. She was sure she’d end up on Rainbow Dash’s team. She flew up on stage, seeing the flabbergasted look on Rainbow’s face on the other side.

“Aw, come on!” It was partially on her for not picking Spitfire sooner, but Dash was still annoyed. Still, she knew just who to grab in retaliation. “Fine, I’m taking Coloratura and Big Mac!”

Much like Spitfire, Coloratura was expecting to be on the other team. As she made her way to the stage, she could sense all the awestruck stares she was getting.

Applejack sucked in air through her teeth. Admittedly, Dash taking Rara away stung a bit, especially since she wanted to have some fun with her during the first round if they both made it. She let out a resigned sigh as she tried to think of which two to pick next. There were still plenty of good options left. “Ah’ll take…Cadence and Chrysalis.”

Applejack’s picks got the most surprise out of all the participants, including the ones she just picked.

Chrysalis let out a haughty laugh. She was sure that these ponies would be picking her last, though being put on the same team with the Princess of Love gave her a few reservations given their prior history.

Cadence was more surprised that she wasn’t picked with Shining Armor. Applejack picking Chrysalis right after did give her a smug sense of satisfaction that she knew Chrysalis was picking up on as they walked on stage together.

Dash gave a half-hearted shrug. She knew who she had to pick next. “Shining Armor!” And just to drive it in a little bit further, and also just cause she could. “Babs!”

Shining felt a small twinge in his chest being put on opposing sides with his wife and Chrysalis, but being on the same team as Big Mac gave him a bit of comfort.

“Damn, really? Awright.” Babs happily strolled on up to the stage, feeling pretty happy about herself and her chances.

The corner of Applejack’s lip twitched. Dash took Big Mac and Babs before she could just to get under her skin, and damnit, it was working. With a quick shake of her head, she went back to her decision-making process. “Tempest and Pharynx.”

“Finally,” Both said simultaneously, rolling their eyes with a scoff.

The two locked eyes upon realizing that the other had matched their energy perfectly. The mutual understanding of each other almost made them smile. Almost.

Rainbow Dash looked at who was left, and then back to who she currently drafted. She needed some serious firepower, and someone who would definitely stay in for the sake of someone else on her team already. “Okay, I’ll take Mina-”

“YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!” Almost in the blink of an eye, Mina was on stage next to her favorite princess. From the moment Dash picked Luna, Mina was praying that she’d be on her team, too.

“...and Spike.”

“Yep, cool.” In contrast, and perhaps as a response to Mina’s over-the-top reaction, Spike just gave a thumbs-up and nodded as he joined Dash on stage.

The roster was thinning, and for Applejack, that made deciding a lot harder. “Hmm…Ah’ll take Tirek and Gallus.”

Not that Tirek was expecting to be the favorite of either of the two hosts, but being on Chrysalis’s team and being picked before Cozy gave him enough reason to smile.

At the same time, Gallus heard Sandbar snickering the moment Applejack called his name, though a little teasing wasn’t going to stop Gallus from being elated that Applejack chose him.

Unlike Applejack, when Rainbow Dash looked at the last five she had to choose from, her choice couldn’t have been easier. “Yona! Sandbar! Get up here!”

Sandbar and Yona looked at each other with glee and cheered. It seemed like they were the only couple that hadn’t been separated by the draft.

Three candidates remained, and Applejack had to pick two. “Let’s go with…Cozy Glow.”

“Yeah that tracks,” Cozy said flatly. A small victory in not being picked last, she supposed. And being united with Chrysalis and Tirek felt good, but not being on Babs’s side stung a bit, even if she didn’t want to admit it.

Applejack looked between the last two: Zephyr Breeze and Trixie Lulamoon. It was incredibly tempting to scoop up Trixie and saddle Dash with Zephyr, but it’d also be satisfying to take Zephyr and show Dash up at the end of the month.

Rainbow Dash hid her face behind her wings. She could already tell she’d have to be stuck with Zephyr.

“And finally…Zephyr.”

“WHAT?!” shouted two different voices.

The first was from Rainbow Dash, who was surprised but definitely not contesting Applejack’s decision.

“Pssh, alright, saving the best for last, I see!” Zephyr chuckled, nodding his head in his own little world as he joined Applejack’s side.

The second was from Trixie, understandably furious at being the actual last pick. “Oh you have got to be FUCKING KIDDING TRIXIE!” Seeing everyone else on stage while she was the last one in the audience was more humiliating than any magician’s mishap she’s had on tour.

“Don’t you worry, because I have NEVER been more happy to have you on my side, Trixie!” Dash said, actual tears running down her cheeks as Trixie trudged onto stage.

With the teams decided and the stage starting to creak from all the weight, Applejack wanted to get things moving, particularly off the stage. “Alright, the teams are set!” she said, quickly hopping off. “Now if you come over here, you’ll see how we’ll all be keeping track this year!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash corralled everyone off the stage before it collapsed, leading them into one of the fields to get some more breathing room, and to meet with Rarity by the massive scoreboard.

Rarity was hanging things up on the scoreboard. On the left were several large apple-shaped signs pinned to the board, and on the right were cloud-shaped signs, divided by a line down the middle. Near the center line were two detailed life-sized drawings of Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s heads facing each other on the apple and cloud signs respectively.

Rarity turned around to see the group approaching her. “Oh! There you two are. You have your teams sorted out, I assume?”

“Yep!” Applejack nodded, gesturing behind her. “Got ‘em all lined up for ya.”

“Excellent! This shouldn’t take long then!”

“Thanks again for the assist, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said. “Glad we got you to make us look good.”

“Happy to help, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity chuckled. “Good luck, everyone!”

As Rarity got into her artist’s zone and started to draw all the faces on the appropriate signs, Applejack turned around to address everyone. “Alright, that should take care of everything!” she declared.

“Get it all out of your systems now, guys! Because tomorrow, it’s game on!” Dash said with an excited pump of her hoof in the air.

With a round of cheers, everyone got to talking with each other, making introductions, or catching up.

Spitfire chuckled to herself as she looked up at the scoreboard. “Dash would make it a competition…”

Pinkie Pie bounced up next to her. “Yeah, would it really be Rainbow Dash if she didn’t?”

“Heh, guess not.” Spitfire turned her head. “Glad to see you, Pinkie Pie.”

“Not as glad as I am to see you!” Pinkie grinned. “It’s been like, years since you’ve participated in No Clop!”

“Yeah, guess it has been a long time,” Spitfire sheepishly admitted. “Honestly it feels more like my first time, if anything.”

Pinkie Pie sidled up closer to Spitfire’s side and nudged her ribs. “So you’re saying you don’t remember that night with me and Rarity?”

“Nope, I remember that pretty clearly,” Spitfire said, standing stiffly as a blush quickly ran over her face. “Definitely remember that tongue technique you used back then, too.”

Pinkie playfully stuck her tongue out, before closing her eyes halfway to flutter her eyelashes. “You mean thiiiith one?”

For the briefest of moments, Spitfire had a flashback to almost a decade ago just by seeing the tip of Pinkie’s tongue flick. “...Yep, just like that.”

Pinkie immediately went back into her upbeat and silly mood. “Great! I can’t wait to try it out on you again at the end of the month!”

“Sounds like a plan!”

After the two bumped hooves, they looked back up at the scoreboard where Rarity was still hard at work.

“Hey, what made you wanna come back?” Pinkie asked. “I’m sure Dashie’s tried to get you to join again plenty of times.”

“Well, at first I kept saying no because I didn’t want it to interfere with work,” Spitfire explained. “I’ve seen how distracted Dash and Soarin’ got when they were participating. With how horny and distracted they got, I’m surprised they didn’t start screwing in the middle of practice! I gotta run a tight ship at the Wonderbolts, ya know?”

“So what changed your mind?”

“Dash did.” Spitfire shrugged. “Apparently, once she finally got her first win, her morale started to improve, and so did her performance during drills. I thought it was a fluke, but then she started breaking records in November!”

“So all it took was for Dashie to finally get laid,” Pinkie giggled.

“Apparently! And well, if she figured out self-control, it should be no problem for me! I can’t let Dash show her captain up, now can I?”

“No, ma’am!” Pinkie said, giving her a salute.

Gilda slapped her claw down on Fluttershy’s back. “Well, looks like we’re on the same team. Not really that surprised that Dash would pick us, though.”

“Yipe!” Fluttershy let out a short, shrill squeak as she jumped. “Yeah, I was really surprised that Rainbow Dash picked me so early.”

“Kinda wish I was on the other team though,” Gilda chuckled, tapping her talons together. “Would’ve been fun to sabotage Dash’s chances again…”

“I don’t know about that, Rainbow Dash has been doing pretty well lately,” Fluttershy pointed out. “I don’t know what changed, but she’s been on a winning streak lately.”

“True…” Gilda shrugged. “...but that doesn’t mean I have to make it easy for her. Especially when it’s so easy to get her all riled up.”

Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle. “So how did you find out that Dash had a thing for…you know…”

Gilda tilted her head back, trying to remember. “It was like, one night all the way back during flight camp. I was out cold, but my paws were sticking out from underneath the blanket. I wake up to see Dash rubbing her cheek against my toes. Which was definitely fucking weird, but given what I let her do to them now, we may not have stayed friends after that.”

The image of vulnerable sleeping griffon paws sticking out from underneath a blanket brought a bit of a bloodrush to Fluttershy’s cheeks. “Mmhm…”

“The moment Dash notices I start to wake up, she books it into her own bed faster than I’ve ever seen her move before,” Gilda continued. “I didn't even process what she was doing until the morning, and even then I thought it was just some weird dream.”

“When did you know for sure?”

“While I didn’t catch her while I was sleeping anymore, I did notice her trying to sneak looks when we were just chilling together. Dash was never gonna admit it to my face, so I decided to wake up early and put my paws on her cheeks while she was sleeping as revenge. Hah! You should’ve seen the look on her face!”

“So you were okay with Dash just, playing with your paws like that?”

“Oh, I still think it’s kinda weird,” Gilda shrugged. “but it’s a lot more fun knowing I can turn her on pretty much whenever I want.”

Fluttershy giggled along with Gilda’s chuckling. “It is pretty fun to see her embarrassed…”

Gilda’s tail brushed against Fluttershy’s side. “Of course, she’s not the only pegasus I know with an easily exploitable kink.”

“Eeeep!” Fluttershy’s body naturally recoiled away, but her wings instantly sprung open.

“If we weren’t on the same team, I think you’d be easier to take out than Dash,” Gilda mused, tracing a claw up Fluttershy’s stomach. “Would only take what, five minutes to get you out? Ten? Thirty? Maybe I’d go for an hour…”

“P-Please don’t threaten me with a good time…”

“Alright, Big Mac! We’re on the same team!” Spike grinned, moving in to bump his fists against Mac’s hooves.

“Eeyup!” Big Mac enthusiastically pounded his hooves against Spike’s fists, nearly knocking the grown dragon onto his tail.

“Haven’t seen you try your hoof at this thing for a while, ya miss all the action?” He said, giving Big Mac a saucy waggle of his eyebrows.

“Eeyup,” he nodded, darting his eyes away with a nervous grin on his face.

“Oh-ho-ho!” Spike wrapped his arm around Mac’s shoulder. “You already got someone in mind?”

“Nnnope…?”

Spike scoffed and lightly punched Big Mac on the shoulder. “You may not be Applejack, but I can still tell when you’re lying! C’mon, tell me!”

Big Mac tilted his head back, whispering to Spike.

“Yeah, the princesses are pretty good,” Spike nodded. “Totally mind-blowing if you get to them in like the first couple hours or so when they’re super horny.”

Big Mac continued to whisper to Spike, vaguely gesturing around to the other participants.

“Really? Yeah, I guess that would be your first time with a griffon, huh…”

Big McIntosh nervously tapped his hooves together before he pointed at somepony.

“Oh trust me, a big guy like you is exactly his type. I’d be surprised if he hasn’t eyed you up yet.”

“R-Really?”

“Yeah, give it time!”

Spike looked around the field at the same time Big Mac was. “Lotta guys this year, huh?”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac nodded.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Spike leaned against the stallion.

“Boys Night?”

“Boys Night.”

“BUFFALO!”

Yona excitedly ran up to Little Strongheart, who was just as excited to see the yak.

Little Strongheart’s eyes widened as she saw the big yak charging at nearly full speed towards her. Luckily, Yona skidded to a stop right before impact. “Hey, Yona! It’s great to see you!”

“Yona excited to go into No Clop with Strongheart!”

“Me too! Though it looks like we’re on opposing teams,” Strongheart pointed out, worried that this would be against some sort of rule that Applejack and Rainbow Dash put in place.

Yona easily brushed away Strongheart’s worries. “That no matter, we still friends, team or no team!”

“Hehe, that’s true,” Strongheart chuckled. “How are things with you and Sandbar?”

“Sandbar great!” Yona proudly declared. “He still make Yona happy!”

“Aww, I’m glad to hear that!”

“Ooh! Yona heard Strongheart have two special someponies now!”

“Yeah, it’s…definitely not how I thought things would turn out,” Strongheart nervously chuckled. “But Braeburn and Feather Bangs are both really sweet. And they’re really sweet on each other too. I’m sure that they’ll be having a lot of private time while I’m holding out for the orgy…”

“Oh, right! How was buffalo’s first orgy?” Yona asked. “Yona sorry she didn’t make it last year, but Babs and Cozy very…tempting. But Yona hear bits of it from Sandbar!”

Strongheart was immediately taken back to almost a year ago, remembering it clearly almost as if it was yesterday. “It was kinda scary at first, but it was an amazing night! Sandbar really helped me get into it, especially with the help of Thorax and Chrysalis! They were incredible for my first time! I kept forgetting that they weren’t actually you and Braeburn!”

Yona nodded, happy that her friend enjoyed her first time, though there was a big question growing in the back of her mind. “...But changeling not smash as good as Yona, right?”

“I don’t know, I’d like to find out myself though!”

Coloratura noticed that a stallion was staring at her with wide, sparkly eyes, right next to a changeling looking rather confused. “Hey there, can I help you?”

Sandbar’s jaw was agape. “Wow…Coloratura’s here!”

Ocellus blinked in befuddlement. “Yeah? I don’t get why you’re making a big deal of it,” she said, looking back and forth between the two ponies. “We’ve done a No Clop with her before.”

“I know, but that was a long time ago, and Coloratura’s a superstar!”

“I wouldn’t call myself a superstar,” Coloratura said. “Besides, Applejack told me that Princess Celestia and Luna participate in these things all the time. I’m pretty sure they’re way more popular than lil’ ol’ me. I’m just a…well, you know,” she chuckled.

Sandbar shrugged. “I mean, I guess, but because the princesses participate more often than you, it makes it like, a rare event inside of a rare event!”

“Well, when you put it like that, I guess this does feel like more of a special appearance!”

“Yeah!”

Coloratura looked over at the scoreboard. “With any luck, I’ll be able to make it and see what the orgy’s actually like…”

Sandbar cleared his throat. “Well, as someone with plenty of experience winning No Clop, I’d be more than happy to give you the best experience I can if our team wins!”

“You’re just saying that because Princess Celestia’s on Professor Applejack’s team,” Ocellus pointed out.

“You are entirely right and I feel absolutely no shame in admitting it,” Sandbar said without hesitation.

“Even though Yona’s like, right over there?” Ocellus said, gesturing her hoof over to the yak ten feet away from them.

“I saw her eyeing up Tirek,” Sandbar plainly stated. “She has her priorities, I have mine.”

“Besides, I’ve won plenty of times, too! Why don’t I get to be the one who gives Coloratura a good time?”

“...Because I asked first.”

Coloratura laughed as Sandbar and Ocellus started bickering. “I’m sure there’s a way you can both show me the ropes if we all make it.”

“Hrrmm…”

“Is something wrong, Zephyr?” Derpy walked up to Zephyr, noticing the pegasus was doing nothing more than pouting his lip as he looked around.

Zephyr snapped to attention with a slight jolt. “Hm? Oh, it’s nothin’. Just figured I’d be on Rainbow’s team.”

Derpy looked over to Rainbow Dash, then back to Zephyr. “You think Rainbow Dash wanted to pick you?”

“Of course! We’ve got such amazing chemistry together!” Zephyr nodded to herself. “Guess Applejack wanted to make her jealous or something by picking me first, heh!”

“Uhhhh…?” Derpy’s mouth opened with a long, loading stammer. She was pretty sure Zephyr was one of the last ones picked.

“Did you see how distraught she was when Applejack picked me?!” Zephyr said, still confident in his delusion. “Poor Rainbows was bawling her eyes out over not being able to have me!”

Derpy slowly blinked, distinctly remembering Rainbow Dash crying tears of happiness. “...Riiiight…”

“Well, what’s done is done, and we’ll just have to both make the best of it!” the stallion declared, sticking his chest out. “I’ll gladly save myself for Rainbow’s sake!”

“So even if our team wins, you won’t take the opportunity to start out with someone else?”

A bead of sweat formed on Zephyr’s forehead. “Welllll now that you mention it, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have the others feel this breeze blow by…”

Derpy was quick to point her hoof towards the rest of their team. “Oooh, what about her?”

Zephyr turned his head to see Derpy pointing in Chrysalis’s direction. “W-Who, tall, dark, and gruesome over there?” Just looking at the changeling made Zephyr feel tense. His heart was pounding, his hooves were getting weak, a cold sweat dripped down his neck…

“Yeah!” Derpy nodded. “She looks nice, but maybe pretty lonely, too.”

“No kidding!” Zephyr scoffed, tilting her head. “She probably doesn’t even have anypony to cut her mane if it’s that long and full of holes! I’m pretty sure I can fix her…mane.”

Since the beginning, Mina had been ecstatic and showed absolutely no signs of calming down any time soon. “Aaaaah! Princess Luna! Oh my gosh! We’re on the same team! WE’RE ON THE SAME TEAM!”

Luna gently pried the dragon off of her, trying to keep at least a little bit of breathing room. “Yes, it’s quite good to see you too, Mina.”

“Ahahah, sorry, I might be uh…really excited that we get to be together this year…” Mina sheepishly chuckled, awkwardly rubbing her arm as she stepped back.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” Luna smirked, playfully tapping the dragon in the chest.

“I mean, last time, I never got the chance, y’know? Having it all taken away in the last couple days was just…” Mina clenched her fists, puffing black smoke from her nostrils.

“Well, do you still hold ill will against Rainbow Dash for assisting in my own downfall?” Luna asked, genuinely curious.

“Fuck no! She’s giving me another chance with you, so as far as I’m concerned, we’re square!” Mina eagerly grinned.

“Another chance with me? And here I thought your heart already belonged to Pharynx…” Luna chuckled, giving her another teasing jab.

Mina’s cheeks quickly went red, frantically looking to see if Pharynx heard as she tried to save face. “Well! I! Uh…! I mean! Obviously I love him! But like, you’re Luna! I’ve been dreaming of having hot steamy sex with you long before I met him!”

“Another fact that I’m very well aware of,” Luna smirked.

“...I! Hnnngh!” Mina covered up her blushing face with her claws, peeking through her eyes. “I mean, it’s not like Pharynx hates that you’re my favorite or anything…!”

“Yes, my sister also has her share of admirers who are also happily taken,” Luna giggled, looking over at Sandbar. “It’s quite fortunate their partners are quite understanding.”

“S-So you know how much it’d mean to me if we both made it this year!” Mina looked up to Luna, pleading with her eyes. “Even if Dash’s team doesn’t win, just having even one moment with you would be enough!”

Luna wrapped a hoof around Mina to pull her closer. “Very well, I’ll try to survive with you,”

Mina pumped her fists in the air. “YESSS! Oh, there’s so much I wanna do! December can’t come fast enough! This is gonna be a dream come true!”

Luna tapped her chin. “If I recall, didn’t Ocellus and Discord assist in your fantasies the last time you participated?”

A bead of sweat went down Mina’s face. “I mean yeah, two Lunas was really hot, but I’m more excited to do something with the REAL you!”

“Likewise. Let us see if you can actually make me moan as loud as you fantasize that I do.”

Even as everyone was happily conversing with each other, Pharynx found himself standing off to the side, watching everyone acting friendly with each other with his lip pursed with attempted aloofness.

Recognizing the changeling from earlier, Tempest decided to approach.

And sensing an opportunity to make up for missed opportunities, Gallus tagged along.

“And here I thought everyone would be excited to get No Clop started,” Tempest chuckled.

There was a slight sparkle in Pharynx’s eyes as he also recognized Tempest. “I mean, it’s whatever, I don’t see why everyone’s making such a big deal out of it,” he shrugged.

Tempest tilted her head in curiosity. “Really? I would’ve thought the whole massive winner orgy thing would’ve been the most exciting part. What, you get laid so often that an orgy would be just another Sunday morning to you?”

Pharynx scoffed. “I wish. I just think everyone’s overhyping it.”

Gallus couldn’t help but snicker. “How would you know? It’s not like you’ve ever been to one yet.”

Pharynx quickly turned his head away and scoffed. “Tch! That’s got nothing to do with it.”

Tempest’s smirk grew a bit. “Oh, so you’re just dark-green with envy for all the winners, is that it, huh?”

“Rrrgh, shut up! It’s not like that!” Pharynx growled. “I only fucked up for my first and only year, it’s not like I’m on a losing streak or anything!”

Gallus nervously shifted his eyes to the side as Tempest gave Pharynx a much warmer smile. “Well, if you’re giving it another shot, there must be something to it, right?” she said.

“Yeah, whatever…” Pharynx grumbled.

“Hey, making it the whole month is suuuuper easy once you get used to it!” Gallus boasted.

Tempest looked over towards Gallus with a bemused look. “Weren’t you the one who lost last year in the very last week because he needed to be stepped on?”

“Weren’t you the one who lost last year because she couldn’t handle a few tickles?” Gallus fired back.

“...Touche.”

Pharynx rolled his eyes and buried his face in his hooves. “Great, I’m getting a pity party from a couple of losers.”

“Hey, at least we didn’t go out being fucked by our own brother.”

Pharynx’s cheeks immediately turned red, ready to throttle Gallus on the spot. “You little-!”

Shining Armor and Princess Cadence looked up to the scoreboard, seeing Shining’s portrait go up with the rest of the clouds on Rainbow Dash’s side. “Opposite teams, huh?” Shining said.

“Yep. Looks that way,” Cadence let out a sigh. “A shame, I was looking forward to doing a co-op Chastity Shield again.”

“Aww, it’s sweet that you wanted to rely on me to get another win,” Shining said, his voice dripping with smugness as he leaned against Cadence’s head.

“I think if anypony has a reliance here, it’s you, dear,” Cadence chuckled.

Shining exhaled through his nostrils. “Mock it all you like, but you still can’t argue with results!”

Cadence trailed a hoof against Shining’s chest. “You don’t think the Chastity Shield is a biiiiit of a crutch?”

“I’ve been spending each year working hard trying to perfect it, I hardly think it’s a free win!”

“You don’t think it’s too easy now?” Cadence rubbed her hoof against his cheek. “Isn’t part of the fun of the No Clop challenge the struggle?”

Shining put a hoof to his chest, almost offended by Cadence’s suggestion. “I’ve been struggling through all the malfunctions every year trying to make it work!”

“But don’t you think it’d be more of a challenge to go through the gauntlet just like everyone else?”

“Would you be suggesting this if we were on the same team?” Shining smirked.

“Mmm, hard to say,” Cadence said with a cheeky grin.

“Alright, I’ll bite then: What do I have to gain from going the whole month unequipped?”

“If you can go the whole month, or at least last longer than I do, then…” Cadence scratched her chin. “...We can do that one roleplay you like.”

Shining Armor immediately gasped. “You mean the one about-”

“Yep.”

“Where we get to-”

“Uhuh.”

“And you get to wear-”

“Mmhm.”

“YESSSS!” Shining threw his hooves around Cadence, ready to pick his wife up and spin her around. “Oh I love you so much, hon!”

“Don’t celebrate just yet, you still have to do the month raw, after all.”

“Pssh, how hard could it be?”

As Shining and Cadence shared their tender moment, they were being watched by a particular pegasus. “I can’t believe I’m gonna do this…!” she muttered to herself, before sucking in air through her teeth and turning her scowl into a bright smile. “Heeeey you two! I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

Shining and Cadence turned their heads. “Cozy Glow? Did you need something?” Cadence asked.

“You could say that…” Cozy started saddling up to Shining Armor. “Listen, I know we’re on different teams and stuff, but could ya find it in your heart to help a poor pony out with something secret?” Cozy asked, trying to put on her best puppy-dog eyes.

Shining furrowed his brow, unmoved by Cozy’s innocence ploy. “You’re hardly a ‘poor pony’, Cozy. And with your history of sabotaging others, I don’t see a good reason why I should.”

“Well, I can’t exactly ask for somepony else’s help for this,” Cozy said, innocently rubbing her hoof against the dirt. “After all, nopony can do a Chastity Shield spell like the handsome Prince Shining Armor!”

That just made Shining even more suspicious. “You already won last year, and you’re asking for a Chastity Shield now?”

“Not exaaaaactly…?”

“Aaay, Trixie!” Babs said, approaching the magician. “It’s great to see ya!”

“Babs!” Trixie gave Babs a friendly hoofbump. “The feeling is mutual!”

“Feels like it’s been foreva, huh? I mean, I try ta catch your shows when you’re in town, but it’s not like we’re actually meetin’ up ta chat or anything.”

Trixie put a hoof to her chest, touched that she had a regular attendee. “Well, Trixie does enjoy the Manehattan performances, but sometimes the rest of the city that isn’t part of Trixie’s adoring audience can be a bit…” Trixie smacked her lips and clicked her tongue. “...Er…”

“Naw, I get it,” Babs nodded in understanding.

“Well, next time Trixie’s performing, come visit backstage! Trixie promises that she’ll have time for a friend like you!”

“Aww, thanks!” Babs beamed. “So, what else have you been up to? Heard ya made some special fireworks one year.”

“Oh yes, that was some of Trixie’s finest work!” Trixie boasted. “A shame none of the other hosts never asked to implement them, though…”

“Maybe if you get the chance to host one year, you can bring ‘em back!” Babs suggested. “Some sorta orgy stage show or somethin’.”

Trixie tapped her hoof against her chin. “Hmm, sex does sell, but Trixie’s not sure if she wants that to be her brand quite yet…Not to mention the need to have everyone on board…”

“Eh, ya never know,” Babs shrugged.

“Well, if we’re gonna keep on gossipping, Trixie heard that you’ve found somepony special!” Trixie said with a sing-song tone.

Babs nervously blew her mane away from her face. “Heh, yeah…”

“Well, Trixie’s happy for you and everything, but she’s also…” Trixie turned her head, looking at Cozy chatting with Shining Armor. “...concerned.”

Babs looked over in the same direction. “Yeah, I know what ya mean, but I don’t think she’s like dat anymore! I mean, us former baddies gotta stick together, right?”

“Trixie would hardly put ‘bullying your cousin for being a blank flank’ and ‘almost destroying all of magic’ on the same level of bad…”

“Look, I’m not sayin’ I can fix her or whateva,” Babs claimed. “but if we can learn about love and friendship and all dat crap, why can’t she?”

Trixie clenched her teeth and winced. “Have you…met who Cozy considers her ‘friends’?”

“Tirek, I’m surprised they allowed you to show your face here,” Chrysalis sneered. “I guess these ponies’ standards are lowering every year!”

“They must not have been high to begin with, if they’re letting disgraced former queens play,” Tirek scoffed.

Chrysalis’s neck twitched in annoyance. “Why are you even here?”

“I suppose it’s finally caught my interest,” Tirek shrugged. “Besides, if you and Cozy make it look so easy, then it should be a breeze for me!”

Not quite convinced of Tirek’s true motivations, Chrysalis squinted her eyes. “And what exactly caught your interest now all of a sudden? Is the orgy truly that big of a draw to you?” Chrysalis sported a wicked grin as she lurched towards Tirek. “Could it be that you just haven’t gotten laid in a while?”

“Pah! Don’t be ridiculous!” With a backhand, Tirek swatted her away. “I’m not that desperate that I need my carnal needs to be satisfied with some…pony!”

Chrysalis’s grin only grew wider and sharper, noticing that Tirek never denied her assumption. “Then is it a dragon you prefer? Or perhaps one of those griffons?”

“I simply chose to join because it suited my interests,” Tirek plainly stated, before pointing his finger. “Mainly involving her!”

Chrysalis turned her head to where Tirek was pointing, seeing Princess Celestia conversing with her sister.

“...Yeah, join the club. A lot of these ponies want to fuck Celestia.”

Tirek sputtered and stammered in anger. “I-It’s not about fucking Celestia!”

Chrysalis shot Tirek a smug look. “It’s No Clop November. We’re all here for the sex.”

“What I want is to have Celestia under my control!” Tirek growled. “Even if for a moment, I want her to feel my dominating presence, so that she’ll get used to it permanently!”

“Oh, so you just have a crush on Celestia.”

“No! I want to crush her!”

Chrysalis let out a barking laugh. “Good luck with that! Only one pony’s been able to take her out in all her years of participating!”

Tirek, unfazed, rubbed his knuckles on his chest. “So? I’m sure I can figure out her weakness before the month is over.”

“Oh my, are you expressing interest in me, Tirek?”

Unbeknownst to the two of them, Celestia was well-aware of their conversation behind her and had decided to step in.

“Well, I’m a bit surprised, but consider me flattered nonetheless,” Celestia said with a coy wink.

Tirek recoiled in surprise, “I…! Don’t mistake my intentions for anything romantic, Celestia!”

“Of course not,” Celestia lightly chuckled. “If you simply want a fling, I’m sure that can be arranged quite nicely.”

Even with Tirek’s naturally red skin, it was easy to tell he was getting worked up.

“I see that Applejack was nice enough to let you, Chrysalis, and Cozy on the same team,” Celestia mused. “Perhaps you should thank her for keeping your friends together.”

Both Tirek and Chrysalis felt a twinge of nausea in their stomachs.

“In any case, if you truly want to know me or any of these other players better…well, you know what to do.”

As Celestia walked away, Chrysalis looked at the fuming Tirek with an insufferable smirk on her face. “Wow, I’m pretty sure Cozy would’ve handled that better than you did. Are you SURE you didn’t join just to get laid for once?”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash watched as Rarity started to finish up all the drawings on the scoreboard. Each of the contestants now had a sign of their face displayed on the scoreboard.

“Heh, they look even better than Ah imagined!” Applejack beamed.

“Yeah!” Dash grinned, though one big question kept eating away at her. “Alright, why’d you decide to pick Zephyr instead of Trixie?”

Applejack casually crossed her hooves. “Well, figure after Ah win, it’d be more fun to rub it in and have his victory lap while you watch.”

“Woah woah woah!” Rainbow held up her hooves. “I think you’re jumping the gun assuming that you’re gonna win, AND that Zephyr’s also gonna make it.”

“Ah dunno, Dash. Got Celestia, Chrysalis, and Spitfire on my side. Team Applejack’s looking pretty good…”

Dash smirked and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever! I got Shining, Sandbar, and Fluttershy! We got this!”

“Heh, we’ll see, Dash.”

Applejack took another look up at the roster on the scoreboard, softly chuckling as she nudged Rainbow Dash. “Ya know, this brings back some good memories. Remember that Iron Pony competition?”

“And the Running of the Leaves?” Rainbow sputtered in amused disbelief as she was filled with nostalgic memories. “Geez, that felt like forever ago!”

“But ya remember what happened after, right? Thought I ran ya ragged, but ya still had plenty of stamina in ya!”

“Well, I had a lot of energy saved up from me needing to slow down to match your pace! Not that the ropes let me move around that much anyway…”

“If Ah remember correctly, Ah made you cum the fastest,” Applejack smirked.

“Yeah, well, I remember making you cum more often,” Dash retorted.

Applejack leaned in a little closer to Rainbow Dash. “Ah was making you howl out my name.”

Dash met her halfway. “And I was making you scream absolute gibberish.”

Applejack pushed her forehead against Dash’s. “You weren’t able to fly straight for a week!”

Dash pushed back, pressing her nose against the other mare’s muzzle. “And you couldn’t buck apples without moaning!”

Both mares locked eyes as their breathing started to get heavier. Neither wanted to back down, but neither were sure if they wanted to escalate. After staring for what felt like hours, the two awkwardly laughed as a massive blush overcame their cheeks.

“Well, guess we’ve got another score to settle, Dashie,” Applejack smirked, holding up a hoof.

Dash chuckled as she returned the hoofbump. “Yeah, you, me, and everyone else we’re dragging into this.”

Author's Note

Place your bets, which team will win?