“I’m just saying, it wouldn’t hurt to try a little variety!” Gallus ribbed Sandbar as the two walked through the streets of Ponyville.

“And I’m saying, that my opportunities to do this are incredibly finite, so why shouldn’t I go with the best possible choice every time?”

Gallus tilted his head with his jaw open, almost laughing in disbelief. “Oh, ‘best possible choice’, huh? I’m sure Yona would loooove hearing you say that!”

Sandbar punched his friend in the shoulder. “You KNOW what I mean!”

Gallus laughed and playfully punched him back. “There are so many other options this year, what makes screwing Celestia so special to you?”

“Because!” Sandbar’s eyes started to sparkle. “She’s a princess, hell, the princess. She’s someone that we ponies respect dearly! And it makes it feel really special to see someone so powerful and elegant and beautiful just…being horny like the rest of us.”

Gallus mockingly sputtered in his face. “Oh, bullshit! Just say it’s for your kink! At least that’s honest!”

“It is NOT just because of my kink!” Sandbar shouted with indignation at a volume that was probably not appropriate in public.

“You’d be banging Silverstream in a heartbeat if she was suddenly twice your size!” Gallus quickly countered.

“I…” Sandbar paused, trying to imagine what it’d be like if the hippogriff was larger.

Gallus’s eyes trailed down to see Sandbar’s slowly start getting hard. “...Seriously?”

“You put it in my head!”

“You are so unbelievably-” Gallus’s bickering was interrupted by the sound of his rumbling stomach.

“And you’re as hungry as I am thirsty,” Sandbar laughed. “C’mon, we can get something at Sugarcube Corner.”

Gallus nervously darted his eyes from side to side. “...You sure?”

“Dude, it’s fine. I’ll pay.”

The two walked into Sugarcube Corner, quickly greeted by Pinkie Pie behind the counter. “Heya, Gallus! Heya Sandbar! What can I do for ya?”

“Hey, Professor Pinkie!” Sandbar greeted. “We’re looking to fill up, whatcha got today?”

“I’m so glad you asked!” “Right now we’ve got cherry pie, butterscotch cookies, fudgey lava cake, apple donuts…”

Sandbar looked over at Gallus.

“Well, apple donuts sound pretty good right now,” he mused. “I’ll take two.”

“Make it four!” Sandbar called out to Pinkie.

“Aww, you didn’t let me finish! I’ve got a batch of extra large brownies in the oven right now!” Pinkie’s eyes widened in realization as a ding came from the kitchen. “Oopsie! Speaking of!” She rushed off in a hurry, leaving the two alone.

As they waited, Sandbar decided to pick up their previous conversation. “Alright smart guy, what do YOU wanna do at the orgy?”

“Pssh, easy!” Gallus scoffed. “Didn’t get the chance last year, so I’d wanna get it on with Tempest this time around!”

“What, Smolder and Silverstream stepping on you wasn’t good enough?” Sandbar smirked.

“Mock me if you want, at least I’m thinking of something new each year!”

“I’m not having sex with Celestia in the same position each time! You say that like there’s only one way I can have sex with somebody! You want me to go over all the different ways I’ve fucked Yona?”

“Can it at least wait until after I get something in my stomach?”

Pinkie came rushing back with a tray in her hooves. “Sorry about that!” She reached into the display case, grabbing the donuts. “Here ya go!”

Sandbar tossed the bits to Pinkie, then two of the donuts to Gallus.

The moment Gallus caught one, he immediately started stuffing his beak, though after a few bites, he started talking with food still in his mouth. “Ya knwwf, when Mmpphlejack’s tmmm wnnns, think I might do Celestia frrrst, jusso that her frrrst of the orgy isn’t with you!”

“Yeah? How are you gonna do that when you’ll nut the second Tempest’s hoof touches your face?”

“Wow, you two are really excited for that orgy, huh?” Pinkie grinned. “I could hear you two arguing all the way from the kitchen.”

“Well yeah, it’s the fun part!” Sandbar chimed in. “It’s not like any of us are abstaining for the love of the game or anything. It’s like a brand new ice cream store opens up in the middle of a hot summer day!”

“And you just wanna get a scoop of vanilla every year,” Gallus snarked.

“Hey!”

Gallus twirled the other donut around his finger as he smirked. “Don’t hate me cause it’s true.”

Sandbar rolled his eyes and turned around. “Professor Pinkie Pie, is it really that bad if I wanna keep doing the same things I do at all the orgies I’m at?”

Pinkie leaned against the counter. “You know you can just call me Pinkie, right? It’s not like we’re in class right now or anything!”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sandbar tilted his head, mulling over how unnatural it’d be to say. “I-I don’t know, it just feels weird not to use that title.”

As they were talking, the door opened behind Gallus and Sandbar. “Why hello! It’s nice to see you three today!”

Recognizing the voice immediately, Sandbar quickly whipped around. “Oh my gosh, hiiii Celestia!”

“Unbe-fucking-lievable…” Gallus silently mouthed to himself.

“Hello there, Sandbar,” Celestia warmly greeted. “and you too, Gallus.”

“Yeah, hey,” Gallus casually waved. “You must have some sort of psychic powers or something cause Sandbar was just talking about ya.”

Sandbar’s entire face flushed pink in a second. “Gallus!”

“Really?” Celestia made a coy smile as she looked down at Sandbar. “What were you saying about me?”

“I…I…” Sandbar stammered and babbled, unable to spit the words out while being put on the spot.

“Well if he’s not gonna tell you, I will.” Gallus crossed his arms and smirked. “Princess, do you think it’s a little old and tired that all Sandbar really wants to do is bang you every year?”

“That is SO not what I said!”

Celestia softly giggled. “I don’t mind. I find it quite flattering that I’m one of his first picks, actually. It’s not like he’s only with me the entire night, and each time has been a new and wonderful experience. I’m looking forward to what we get up to this year. Provided we both make it, of course,” she said with a wink.

Sandbar was torn between sighing with relief then fainting on the spot and screaming “I fucking told you so” at the top of his lungs.

“Besides, I know at least someone that would only do it with Luna if she was given the chance…”

Gallus nonchalantly shrugged and went back to eating. “Eh, fair enough.”

“What about you, Pinkie?” Celestia asked. “I know it’s been a while since your last foray. You must be planning something special.”

“And how, princess!” Pinkie eagerly nodded. “Applejack and Rainbow Dash are the hosts, but that doesn’t mean I can’t add to the party at the end! I’ve been trying to plan out the winner’s round to maximize the horny pleasure of everyone no matter who wins! It’s a LOT of variables, but I think I’m getting somewhere!”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Pinkie. Now, could I get one of those lava cakes?” Celestia levitated the bits over to Pinkie already.

“You got it!” Pinkie saluted, coming back with a plate containing a small brown mound of cake and a spoon.

Celestia used her magic to lift up the plate. She used the spoon to poke through the mound, letting hot liquid chocolate pour out. As she took a bite, she could feel part of the chocolate splatter across her cheeks.

“Oh dear, it’s quite messy!” Celestia giggled, licking a bit from the corners of her lips. She turned to Sandbar, bits of cake still on her face. “It’d be quite helpful if I had someone to help clean me…”

Before, Sandbar could even squeak, Celestia perked back up into her more professional princess mode. “Well, I have a bit of business I have to attend to with Twilight, though it was lovely to chat for a bit. Thank you again, Pinkie Pie!” She hastily finished up the quick treat, wiped her face clean, and walked out.

Gallus patted his nearly catatonic friend on the back. “You know what, Sandbar? Maybe vanilla’s an alright flavor after all.”

Author's Note

Personally I think Twilight's more the vanilla flavor but she's not in this story.