Spike excitedly rubbed his claws together. Tonight was the night. Twilight and Starlight were away, so he had the whole castle to himself. He was admittedly a little nervous due to how quickly he had to throw everything together, and there were a few concerns with some of the guests, but if everything went right, this would be the perfect night.

Now all he had to do was wait.

As the minutes passed and got closer to the scheduled time, Spike became more tense, worrying if they’d come in late, or worse, not come at all!

He put his hands out in front of himself and took a breath. He didn’t need to start Twilighting. He was fine, it was still evening, this was gonna be great. He just needed to calm himself.

Though the first sound of knocking got him all excited as he quickly rushed over to open the door.

The first guests to arrive were Shining Armor and Big Mac, with several barrels right behind them.

“Heyyy, Spike! Woulda arrived sooner, but there were a LOT of cider barrels to deliver,” Shining said.

“That’s fine, I’m just glad you’re still the first ones here, would’ve sucked if we didn’t have the cider. But since you’re here, we can officially start…Boys Night!”

“Boys Night!” Big Mac and Shining repeated back with an enthusiastic cheer.

Shining peeked his head through the door. “Where do you want us to put them?”

“Uhh, put a couple in the throne room, and the rest in the kitchen for later.”

“You got it, let’s get going, Big Mac!”

“Eeyup.”

With the two stallions transporting the cider, Spike expectantly looked out the door in hopes that the rest of the guests were there with them, but sadly no such luck.

…Might as well help carry these barrels in.

The party’s next guests knocked on the door conveniently after all three of them finished moving all the cider.

“Aaay, Sandbar, Gallus! Great to see ya, glad you came!” Spike opened the door wide to let the two in.

“Yeah, well, I heard there was gonna be free cider here, so I figured it was worth hanging out for a while,” Gallus smirked as he walked in.

Sandbar trotted inside, pumping his hoof in the air. “Woooo! Time to party!”

“Alright, go right ahead and make yourselves comfortable. Shining Armor and Big Mac are already here.”

It wasn’t long until the party’s next guest turned up at the door, this time coming alone.

“‘Sup, Pharynx,” Spike casually nodded his head, trying to match his energy.

“Hey,” the changeling curtly said, looking around. “Pretty sweet place you got here.”

“Yeah, it’s cool, right?”

“Yep. Glad I won’t be the one who has to clean up when this is done,” Pharynx chuckled as he walked past.

Spike turned around to stare, hoping that what he said was just his edgy sense of humor, but maybe he should follow and keep a close eye on him just to be safe.

With most of the guests here, the party was starting off smoothly. Music was playing from the radio, mugs of cider were being chugged, and everyone was chatting and relaxing. Even Pharynx, who Spike expected would relegate himself to a corner, was laughing and making jokes with Gallus.

It took some time until the door knocked again.

Once Spike opened the door, Zephyr Breeze immediately let himself inside. “Not to worry, Spike! Now that I am finally here, the party can officially start!”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You know the party started like, an hour ago, right?”

“Hey, this Breeze blows in whenever it feels like it, okay?”

With Zephyr’s entrance, there was only one more invited guest unaccounted for. Though Spike figured that his appearance was a long shot anyway. It was probably for the best to just go back inside and focus on hosting.

But just as Spike started to close the door…

“Huh…so this is what you’ve done with the place.”

Spike slowly creaked the door open to see the big red centaur at his doorstep. “Tirek! I…didn’t expect you to show up.”

“You invited me, didn’t you?” Tirek shrugged. “I probably wouldn’t have come, but after thinking on it, if it gets me away from that delusional parasite and that demonic gremlin, then I’ll happily swallow my pride and come here.”

“...Well, either way, I guess it’s great to have you!” With a nervous grin, Spike stepped aside to let the huge centaur inside. “Make yourself at home! …Preferably a home that isn’t destroyed!”

“Yes, yes, I’m still quite aware of the rules…” Tirek grumbled.

Spike couldn’t help but fist pump with a goofy grin on his face. He couldn’t believe that everyone he invited actually showed up. But now that they were all here, Boys Night was officially in full swing. He went back into the throne room to join in the fun.

Shining put his mug of cider on the cutie map, sitting down on Twilight’s throne, leaning back, and propping his hooves up. “Ahhh…”

Sandbar approached, with a hoof wrapped around his own mug of cider. “What’s up, Shining? Don’t tell me you’re already drunk!”

“Heh, trust me, I can hold down my cider pretty well,” Shining chuckled. “Just needed a bit of a break. Been an exhausting first week, you know?”

“No kidding!” Sandbar laughed along. “Though I doubt it’s been that hard for you when you’ve got your Chastity Shield on.”

Shining laughed again. “Ha! If only it was on me right now…”

Sandbar did a double-take. “Huh? Does it like, not work if you’re drunk or something?”

“Nah, it would.”

That just made Sandbar even more confused. “I don’t get it, did you turn it off just for the party? You planning on losing on the first week?”

Shining continued to nonchalantly smile and shake his head. “It’d be difficult for me to take the shield off, considering I don't even have it equipped in the first place.”

Sandbar’s jaw hung agape. “What?! You aren’t doing the Chastity Shield this year?”

“Made a bet with Cadence,” Shining explained as he took a sip from his mug. “Told her that I could go the whole month without using it to prove that it’s not a crutch for easy wins.”

“And how’s that working out for ya?”

Shining exhaled sharply. “It’s been…different! I’ve been so used to trying to work out the kinks in the spell and dealing with the consequences, but now if I’m hard, I just gotta…deal with it! The shield would normally dull out any sort of sensations, but now I feel all the twitches and the stiffness…But it’s fine! I won’t go down that easily!”

“Bet you’re pretty bummed that you can’t work on the next version though, huh?” Sandbar asked.

Shining rolled his head from side to side. “Welllll…that’s not entirely true. I did make a few modifications to the shield this year, I’m just not the one using them.”

“Alright, you’ve lost me again.”

Spike decided to join in on a conversation that Gallus and Zephyr were having by the snack table. “Yo, you two enjoying the night so far?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet so far,” Gallus nodded, “I’m surprised you managed to get Tirek to show up. How the fuck’d you manage that?”

Spike side-eyed the centaur with a hollow stare. “...Believe me, if I knew, I’d tell you.” He looked over to Zephyr. “What about you, Zephyr?”

“Oh totally!” Zephyr nodded. “This is a great idea to get all the guys together! You really outdid yourself, little Spikey!”

“I’ve been taller than you for years,” Spike flatly said, literally looking down on Zephyr.

“So what gave you the idea to invite all the guys over for a party, anyway?” Gallus asked. “Pretty sure this is the first time anyone’s ever bothered to try anything like it.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” Spike nodded. “It’s not a bad idea, right? Most of the ladies get to have their girls night out so often, so why can’t we? I mean, you hang out with Sandbar all the time, right?”

Gallus nodded in concession. He did spend quite a bit of his free time with Sandbar, and that wasn’t just because they were roommates.

“There’s not a lot of guys in the competition, at least compared to the number of ladies,” Spike said, holding up eight fingers, putting them back down as he spoke. “And that number can only dwindle as the month goes on, so I figured why not just do it early on?”

“Well, you’re getting no complaints from me!” Zephyr grinned. “Hanging out with the bros is a great excuse to not work-I mean, spend quality time with friends from all over Equestria!”

With everyone else using mugs too small for Tirek’s hands, the centaur was using one of the barrels as his cup. Even if he came here of his own volition, making small talk with these ponies wasn’t something he was eager to do. Though there was another guest that caught his attention.

“You. You’re a changeling, aren’t you?”

Always a great introductory question. Pharynx squinted his eyes suspiciously. “Yeah, why? Do you have a problem with changelings?”

“I have a problem with a specific changeling,” Tirek scoffed. “Be fortunate that you are not her.”

Pharynx slowly tilted his head. “And by ‘her’, you mean…?”

“That annoying hag that you used to call a queen, of course.”

Pharynx wasn’t sure if he was more offended that Tirek was insulting his former queen, or delighted that Tirek was badmouthing Chrysalis. “Oh yeah? What’d Chrysalis do to you?”

“Oh, where do I even begin with her?” Tirek said vindictively. “She’s completely full of herself, beyond delusional, short-sighted…quite frankly, I’m surprised she didn’t lead you all to extinction!”

Pharynx softened up just a little. “Well, she did used to blame the whole hive whenever something went wrong…”

“Exactly my point! No room for self-reflection or taking responsibility! It’s like there are holes in her brain, too!”

“HA!” A laugh left Pharynx’s mouth without even thinking. “Er, yeah. I remember when she was ranting on and on a few years ago about our reputation and wanting to be superior, and then she lost like a chump because some mare gave her too much love to handle!”

Pharynx and Tirek started laughing together, with Tirek patting Pharynx on the back almost as if they were friends, and Pharynx keeling over from Tirek’s sheer strength.

“Say, you must have some old dirt on Chrysalis that she would hate to have brought up again, right?” Tirek asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, as luck would have it, I have some tales that she would HATE to have me tell one of her former subjects. What do you say we swap stories for a while?”

There was a small part of Pharynx’s conscience that was telling him to say no to making a deal with such a devilish looking centaur, but the opportunity really was too good to pass up. He held out his hoof. “You got a deal, uh…”

Tirek gently grabbed Pharynx’s hoof and shook it. “Please, call me Tirek.”

“Cool, I’m Pharynx.”

“Well, Pharynx, I think we’re going to get along quite well…”

Gallus looked out the window towards the moon shining brightly in the sky. “Damn, nighttime already?”

“Heeeey, Gallus…”

Gallus raised an eyebrow. That was Sandbar’s voice, but why did he sound so…weird? He turned around. “Ah. Yeah.”

Sandbar had a mug of cider in his hoof, an unsteady sway just trying to stand still, and eyes not quite all the way open. There was no mistaking it, he was drunk. “Dude, this party’s aweeesoooome!”

“Dude, how many mugs of cider did you have?”

Sandbar slowly blinked. “I dunno, like..” There was a very long pause as Sandbar looked at his mug. “...fiiiiiiive?”

Gallus nodded, gently trying to take that supposed sixth one from Sandbar’s hooves. “You really gotta learn to pace yourself, buddy.”

“But it’s so--good--though…” Sandbar hiccuped, not even noticing the mug slipping away as he went back down on all four hooves.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to carry your drunk ass all the way home.” Gallus gently tried to guide Sandbar with him. “C’mon, you need to sit down somewhere.”

“It’sh fiiiiine, I’m fiiiiine!” Sandbar insisted, though he was starting to lean on Gallus for support. “I wanna--wanna talk to…to Big Maaaac…”

Gallus just kept nodding along as he led Sandbar to one of the thrones. “I’m sure he’ll be great conversation,” he dryly said. “If you just sit down and rest for a bit, I’ll bring Big Mac over to you, okay?”

“Alr--ighty!”

After that, Sandbar went mostly quiet as Gallus walked with him.

“Ya know, we ssshhhould jus…have the orgy right now!” Sandbar drunkenly suggested. “Why…Why do we need to wait a…a month when we could all just do it to--night?”

“You’re gonna miss out on that hot Celestia sex you’ve been dreaming about, buddy.” Gallus gently patted his back. “At least wait until you’re sober to do something like that, okay?”

Gallus put Sandbar down on one of the thrones, where the stallion quickly slumped onto the table. “Alright, I’ll get you some water. Just stay there for a while, okay?”

Drinking and food weren’t the only things that Spike had at his party. Shining, Big Mac, Zephyr, and Pharynx gathered around to play Spike’s video games.

“Stop spamming that bullshit move, you fuck!” Pharynx angrily yelled.

“Stop getting hit by it!” Shining countered.

Zephyr started leaning closer to the screen as he mashed buttons. “Alright, come here! You’re about to be in a world of hurt!”

“Nnnnope!” Big Mac calmly stated, pressing the buttons with much more purpose and finesse.

After the round was over, Shining smirked and gestured to the screen. “Aaaand that’s another win for me, boys!”

“Yeah yeah, run it back! You’re not getting lucky again this time!” Pharynx demanded.

The next match started with less tension without the stakes of a down to the wire victory looming over their heads, allowing for a bit more casual talk.

“You ever get jealous of your sister, Shining?” Zephyr asked. “Y’know, ‘cause she became a Princess of Friendship and wings and stuff?”

Shining pouted. “...A little, but I got married first, so I can still hold that over her. Well, that and the high scores and achievements on all these games that she and Spike still can’t get.”

“Yeah, those are the important things,” Zephyr nodded.

“Where’d that question come from, anyway?” Pharynx asked.

“I dunno,” Zephyr shrugged. “I realized all of us are brothers, and our sisters all saved Equestria like, hundreds of times,” he gestured to himself, Big Mac, and Shining. “and your brother’s ruling all the changelings. Just thought maybe all of us know what it’s like to feel a little…overshadowed, ya know?”

Pharynx opened his mouth to retort. While still concentrating on the game, he tried to think of his relationship with his brother. “...Yeah. I mean, I can still kick his ass in a fight, but that’s not saying much.”

“Speaking of, where do you think you’re going?” Shining leaned in, entering a series of complicated inputs on his controller as naturally as breathing.

“Nope nope nope nope NOOOO!”

“I mean, I don’t really mind, I’d probably suck as king. I’m happy being the one who can protect him.”

“Eeyup.”

“Same here.”

Zephyr felt a twinge embarrassed. “Well, when I make it big with my mane therapy, I’ll have enough saved so that my big sis can really flourish with all that animal care stuff!”

“Yeah?” Pharynx grinned. “Who’s gonna save you from this?!”

“WAIT NO NO NO NO-”

With a moment to himself, Tirek had a chance to do some thinking. Even he had to admit that he was having a little bit of fun. Perhaps there was some benefit to ponies being so naturally forgiving…

As he debated on whether he should stay and strike up more conversation or just go home, he felt something tugging on his leg.

“What…?” Tirek looked down to see Sandbar. “Oh, it’s just you.”

“You’re like…ssshoooo huge…” Sandbar deliriously giggled.

“...Yes, I’m quite aware.” Tirek tried to gently push Sandbar away, seeing he was clearly drunk off the cider.

Sandbar only leaned more onto Tirek. “Y-You know, I know you’re like eeeeevil and stuff, but I dunno, you’re not really all thaaaaat scary, Tirek!”

Rather than be upset, Tirek was almost amused, curious just to see where this was all leading. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Sandbar bumbled forward, trying to reach Tirek’s chest. “Iiiii mean, with those muscles, it’s kinda--hot!”

Tirek tilted his head. He wasn’t denying he was attractive, but hearing it come from a drunk stallion made things…complicated, to say the least.

“Like, you’ve got that big body that would be PERFECT for doing stufffffff…It’s me I’m stuuuuff!”

Tirek was trying to figure out what sort of response he should give, when he saw Gallus in a mad dash towards him.

“Ohhh fuck, OHHH FUCK!” Gallus quickly grabbed onto Sandbar. “I look away for one fucking minute-”

“Heeey Gallus! You think Tirek could destroy me?” Sandbar giggled. “Cause I bet he could--destroy my flank!”

“Sorry! Sorry! Please don’t actually destroy him!” Gallus said, hurriedly trying to push Sandbar away as fast as he could.

Tirek shook his head watching the two leave. Was this normally how they conducted themselves during the month? How did the likes of Chrysalis and Cozy ever lose?

Spike looked at the party still going. With a satisfied smile, he put his arms around Big Mac and Shining. “Well, I think I can say that the first Boys Night is a success!”

“Eeyup!”

Shining looked at the two with confusion. “First? Don’t you two have Boys Night with Discord to play O&O all the time?”

“Nah, that’s Guys Night. Big difference.”

“...So no O&O?”

Spike scratched his chin, seriously contemplating having a quick session. “I mean, we could, but I don’t wanna disappear for a few hours just in case.”

Shining smirked. “Who said it had to be just the three of us?”

Spike and Big Mac did a slow look at the room again. “You really think they’d want to try?”

“Why not?” Shining shrugged. “They all agreed to come to Boys Night already.”

Spike was trying to be realistic, but Shining was very quickly convincing him otherwise to go with this insane idea.

“Plus think of how cool it’d be, just for one night! Just a one shot, because getting all eight of us to meet up again would be a complete NIGHTMARE.”

“Well, we’d still have to set up, and making a map and figurines would take a few hours…”

“Pssh, easy!” Shining pointed towards the cutie map. “If Twilight can use it as her own monitor, I’m sure I can make a map and figures with it! …Well, eventually. We should probably get a game started as fast as possible. I'm sure I can whip something up in a few minutes, though.”

Spike blinked, then smacked himself in the forehead. “Damnit, that’s brilliant. We’ve just been using it as a table like idiots!”

“We should probably make some of their characters for them to save time, though,” Shining mused. “Pharynx would make a great druid! Tirek’s definitely a Warlock…”

“C’mon we can’t just typecast them like that,” Spike said. “I mean, what would Sandbar be?”

“Bard,” Big Mac and Shining answered immediately.

“...Yeah.”

“So what do you say?” Shining asked as he and Big Mac looked at Spike expectantly.

“...Screw it, we got them all here tonight and I have no idea if they’ll ever want to try this again, let’s go for it.”

“Eeyup!”

Spike made his way to the table, standing on top before making his announcement. “Hey! If any of you wanna play Ogres and Oubliettes, get over here cause we wanna start a one-shot!”

Surprisingly enough, everyone walked over, leaving Spike in stunned silence before he got excited again.

“Well damn, everyone, huh? Hah! This is gonna be great! Let’s do it!” He put both fists in the air, yelling at the top of his lungs. “BOYS NIGHT!”

Author's Note

If you understand the title reference I'm so sorry you're watching the same Brain Rot Andy that I am.

Anyway yeah, enjoy a full depiction of Boys Night

Bigger source here