It's Your Hand I Wanna Hold
She hoped it wasn’t too early in the day for an easy call. Fleur had the phone set against the countertop while she worked on getting dinner done, allowing her to complete her two most critical tasks at once. A meal was going to be necessary for she and her beloved, so something delicious and filling was crucial; was pasta too simple? Rice and a meat too easy? Though it wasn’t going to be anything special, a beef and rice mixture with plenty of spices was what she eventually settled for, the grease drained through a colander and tossed out in a tin can. Only the best sort of meal for she and her darling!
As for the other task, well…
“Hopefully she’s not too busy right now,” Fleur-de-Lis murmured, hands deep in raw meat as she glanced at her phone. Truth be told, it was a little early in the afternoon, and there were plenty of things that could get in the way and interrupt. Yes, it was the holiday season, but that didn’t stop every schedule. Velvet was a busy bee, intentionally so; being an empty nester had never sat well with the poor woman.
Pushing through the beef chuck with a large spoon, she cut through the thawing meat so as to spread it across the pot; getting a thorough spread would allow the sriracha and soy to permeate across the whole mix. The beef itself needed a good layer of flavor, or else it would be tasteless!
One ring on her phone, evident across the screen. She hoped that the woman on the other end of the line would be available. Fleur hardly knew when else she’d have time, considering how imminent the holiday break was now. Oh, what if she ran out of time? A second ring, a third…
The screen shifted to a bright haze of grey. Pixelated mish-mash here and there as the connection struggled to maintain itself, only for a picturesque face adorned with violet-and-grey hair appeared in the center of the screen wearing a scrutinizing, if not confused expression. “Hello?” Twilight Velvet called. “Sorry, I saw this pretty late. Are you there?”
“Yes! Velvet, hello!” Fleur called, and the smile she saw on the screen before her was one that warmed her soul. It looked so similar to that of Twilight’s, full and unabashed in the warmth it could offer, only possessing a motherly sweetness rather than the romantic passion she so often saw. Though the two had only met a spare few times, Fleur had come to love Twilight’s mother as though she were her own. “It’s so good to see you, how are you?”
“I’m great! It’s wonderful to see you, Fleur. What are you up to?”
“Making dinner for me and Twilight,” the flawless young woman answered, raising her hands so the dripping of beef and juice could be seen. “I’m just doing something simple tonight, since we’ll be on our way tomorrow morning. But I think she’s going to need a tasty meal after classwork this evening.”
“Have classes been that hard for her lately?” Velvet asked. The thought of her brightest, most gifted child somehow being pushed to the limit through academics was an unimaginable thought.
“I think she’s been trying too hard lately,” Fleur explained. “A few of the other students in her class are about at her level, so she feels like she has maintain a gap between she and them. It’s weird, but I think she finally has an ego about something.” It made her feel heinous when her inclination was to giggle. Goodness, hadn’t she called so she could be of help? What sort of aid would laughter bring?
Unfortunately, Velvet seemed perfectly inclined to be the same. “The very idea,” she said, biting her lip to keep the smile hidden. “Well, Twilight is… she loves to be a smart person. And if someone is just as smart as her, I think she might take it as a slight. No, that’s- that’s not quite it. But as a challenge, like someone is seeing if she’s really as smart as she thinks she is.”
“Well, she’s certainly stressed out,” Fleur said. “I hope a little comfort food will make her feel better. Even if it’s something really simple.”
“It’ll be important because it’s coming from you,” the elder woman said, the smile on her lips a motherly thing that brought comfort to the young girl. “You’ve been the biggest blessing to her, Fleur. I’m so glad she has you around.”
As usual, Velvet was effusive in her praise; she’d taken to Fleur the moment they’d been introduced, delighted to come to know the girl her daughter loved. For one who’d once been so unflappable as she, Fleur had come to cherish the matriarch’s caring attitude, something so casual and serene in comparison to her own mother’s rather formal demeanor. “It’s just a meal,” she said meekly.
“Not to her, it’s not,” Velvet assured her. “She does talk to me without you, you know. She still loves to rave about you. You’re a blessing in her life.”
“Well…” Was it humility or bashfulness that urged her to see the compliment ignored? Decorum, at least she knew, dictated she accept it. “I’m glad I can be there for her. Wish I could do more.” The admission made her shoulders sag.
“Has she really been that tired?” Velvet’s voice lost its casualness, taking in the drop of countenance. “She hasn’t said as much to me lately, but I didn’t think she was that busy. Just that she was that –you know, absorbed in her work.”
“She mostly just goes to sleep whenever she gets back in,” Fleur admitted, and she felt her insides cringe at the sight of Velvet’s worry. “She’s so desperate to prove herself now, and – and you know full well getting a PhD is a nightmare. And what field she’s studying in makes it ten times worse! I have to convince her to stay awake and eat more nights than not.”
“Oh, Fleur…”
“I’m sorry I can’t help her any more than that, Velvet,” Fleur said. A hand came to her eyes, wiping those damnable tears away; a good thing she halted, because her hands were still sticky with raw meat. “She’s so tired she’s even been saying she doesn’t want to go back to your place for the holidays.”
Velvet’s eyes went wide, but her pupils narrowed; one could practically see the hot huff of air escape her nostrils. “That,” she said slowly, “is not going to happen.”
“I know. I’ll drag her along if I have to,” the beautiful young woman said, wanting to ease any doubts. “But I think she’s so exhausted that she just wants to sleep and do nothing at all, we haven’t even talked about wedding planning in weeks. It’s like she doesn’t have the energy for anything else.”
“Then she needs to come home for Christmas,” Velvet said. “There’ll be nothing better for her than to be away from the stress. She can sleep as much as she wants so long as she’s around.”
“I’ll make sure we come back in town, don’t worry,” Fleur replied.
“The whole break, too. Not just a few days.” The matriarch’s expression was neutral, but she was in no mood to brook an argument of any kind. “She needs to not focus on academics for a bit. And Cadance wants her to spend some time with Flurry this Christmas season, too. You know they’ve hardly met more than a few times now.”
“Oh,” Fleur mourned. She’d only been introduced to Twilight’s niece once before, but that pudgy butterball had to be the cutest baby that had ever been. “Of course she needs to spend time with Flurry, who wouldn’t want to?”
“Exactly. Did you know she said her first word last week?”
“What? She did?” Fleur gasped, the smile instantly upon her lips. “Oh goodness, I’m so glad for them!”
“Called for her ‘Dada’ when Cadance was changing her diaper, of course,” Velvet chuckled, “but you know how she is- just happy she could be there to witness it. Oh, I can’t wait for them to have another one, can you imagine a little boy that looks just like Shining?”
“So a total heartthrob?” Fleur mused gently.
“Undoubtedly,” said Velvet, and the two women enjoyed a simple laugh together. “I’m glad Cadance cooled him down, he was the worst skirt-chaser I’ve ever seen.”
“I bet-” Fleur’s words were cut through by the sound of a heavy door’s creak and sagging footfalls. Goodness, was it that late in the hour already? “Ooh, that sounds like Twilight, I’m gonna have to go,” she said. “Thanks for talking, Velvet, I can’t wait to see you this weekend.”
“I can’t wait for you two to be here!” said Velvet warmly. “Tell Twilight I said hello and that her mom’s thinking about her.”
“I will. Bye!” Fleur reached out to end the call and halted- that’s right, her hands were still covered in beef. Looking this way and that, wondering how to remedy the situation, she simply decided to take the long way around and see her hands quickly washed clean, closing her phone and turning away from her meal prep so that she might tend to the needs of her beloved. “Twilight! Hello, welcome home!”
Fleur always made sure to greet her dear girlfriend with all the enthusiasm she could muster; a dazzling smile, a kiss, and a warm embrace so they could make the moment linger. As she came around the corner to the front door of the apartment, however, the beam on her visage quickly fell at the sight of Twilight sagging against the wall, head hung low and most obviously dispirited.
“Darling? What’s wrong?” Fleur hesitated. Did she rush over and cradle her, or allow for a moment of space? The last thing she wanted was for her favorite person to feel worse due to her actions.
Twilight at least registered her words, a small glance in her direction. But only a glance, a low sigh emanating from her as she kicked away her shoes, shuffling over to the couch and promptly falling over so that she might collapse face-first upon it.
“Oh my.” So it was going to be one of those days. And on her last day of exams for the semester! “Twilight? Love, what’s the matter?” Deciding it was the better course, Fleur reached out and lay a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, down on her knees beside that wearied figure.
Twilight pushed herself up just enough to lock eyes with her fiancé, the deep despair within her colorful gaze impossible to miss. “I’m an idiot,” she grumbled.
“You are absolutely not an idiot, darling,” Fleur assured her, leaning over to provide a kiss to her hair. “You are the smartest person I’ve ever known, and you have done amazing things with your big, wonderful brain. You just don’t always see it because you’re constantly so critical of yourself!”
“I’m an idiot and I proved it!” Twilight insisted, this time her voice a muffled wail as she cried into the couch pillow. “I did such a terrible job today, and everybody saw me do it! Oh, I feel so stupid...”
“What happened, then?” Fleur asked. “You can tell me, you know that.”
“Well… I had to lead a discussion before the exams today,” Twilight began. “Everything was going fine, at least I thought… but I- oh gods- I missed two questions on the exam! And the professor graded me with only an A- for the discussion.” She seemed to positively shrivel at the confession, the despondent woman now on the verge of tears. “… I came in third in the class.”
“What was your final grade for the class?”
“A 95.7,” Twilight admitted meekly. “The highest was a 96.2, but I should’ve done better than that… I was so scared I was going to fail the whole class, I was sure I had back before Thanksgiving when I’d flubbed the discussion- gods, I’m so stupid!” The brilliant girl ripped her glasses away from her face and tossed them into the nearby chair so that she could at last weep uninhibited.
“Oh, oh, Twilight,” Fleur cooed. Pushing Twilight up just a bit, she settled herself on the couch so that she might offer a lap to cry in, shushing away what tears that came. “There we go, let it out,” she whispered in a tone so tender. “Let it out, just like that…” Not one escaped Fleur’s gentle fingers, she brushing away the wetness until the waterfall had become little more than a drizzle, and then till only the streaks of salt upon those sagging cheeks remained. It was not the first time she’d been there to soothe her beloved’s frayed nerves, though perhaps this outpouring of emotion was a bit more intense than those that had come before.
Fleur’s perfect lips couldn’t help but contort into the mildest of smiles as she felt the hiccups course across Twilight’s sleek figure beneath her touch. Shame and humor each had their way within her, guilting her for thinking her dearest Twilight had been proud enough to have an ego; of course she would only think that perfection was the minimum! But still, the fat that this was the sort of thing that would push her dear Twilight to tears was… well, everyone had a chink in their armor, didn’t they? Best to simply let it be and be gentle about the whole thing.
As Twilight began to regain control of her tumultuous emotions, the weeping became sniffles, and sniffles eventually nothing but a sad sort of sound. She was herself whether she wished to be or not, and loved whether she liked it or not. It was the same sort of gentleness she’d always receive whenever she needed it, Fleur a dedicated lover in all times and seasons. Sometimes, it was too much for the brilliant woman to bear. “… Sorry,” she muttered, only half-audible as she spoke into the couch pillows.
“It’s perfectly alright, my love,” Fleur said airily, giving it not a moment’s thought. “Besides, you’d do the same for me, wouldn’t you? Remember how upset I was just the week before Thanksgiving? I was sure I’d just been fired.”
Twilight remembered full well, the memory strong enough to give her emotions pause. Considering their two professional lives, Fleur certainly had the higher stakes; even if it was only an internship, work at the UN could be disastrous if things went wrong, and the person she’d unintentionally offended had been mad enough to want her job terminated. And this is what I’m crying over? Her rational side argued. Goodness, get a grip. You’re almost done and you know it, this is pitiful.
“I… should have been nicer than I was,” Twilight said at last. “I only told you what I did wrong.”
“You were very helpful in getting me to calm down, my love. Isn’t that the more important part?” Fleur reminded her.
“I only did that for a few seconds. I should have just let you cry it out.”
“And you did, erm, eventually,” Fleur added, fumbling a bit under her girlfriend’s scrutiny. “You’re just not used to doing such things yet. You’re much more sensitive to my needs than you were when we first started dating.”
“You mean when I was an oblivious jerk?” Twilight said. A hand reached for her glasses so she could see and give scrutiny to her fiancé, thus adding fuel to her self-denigrating flames.
“You weren’t a jerk! Not at all,” the beautiful girl insisted. “That was low self-esteem, not anything unkind. You were very quick to apologize when you realized what you’d done wrong.”
“It only took you bursting into tears for me to finally get it. Because I’m an idiot,” Twilight said drily.
“You are not- oh, for heaven’s sake, we’ve gone off track…” Fleur waved away their smattering of words in frustration. “Come, now, let’s have something to eat. You’ll feel better.”
“I don’t really feel like eating,” Twilight said, shoulders sagging. Too ashamed of her recent conduct, the thought of food did little to arouse her stomach- but was fantastic at stoking her fire of disapproval.
For Fleur, however, she only saw a tired spirit in need of substance both physical and emotional. “Well that is too bad, my love,” she said firmly. She rose to her feet, snapping her fingers as she bid her beloved to join her in the kitchen. “I’ve cooked too much dinner for just one lady trying to keep her figure. I insist you join me over a glass of cabernet- really, I do insist. You wouldn’t say no to your beautiful host, now would you?” She ensured her last words were well-armed with a pouting look, eyes wide and hopeful as she looked upon her beau.
“I’m just…” Twilight gave a defeated sigh as she rose to her feet, still slumping. “I’m not really hungry. I’ll try to eat a little.”
“That’s the spirit!” Fleur cried, and her hands snapped out so they might clasp that of their paramour’s. “Come, let me serve you. Like a good host would! Or will you let me be a good girlfriend and feed you, too? We’ve simply so much to discuss, like when we’re going to go to your family’s house for Christmas! Just imagine all the good things we have to talk about.”
Twilight’s features sagged again at the mention of her family, but she allowed herself to be led along into the kitchen where a hot meal and pleasant wine awaited. Unwilling, uneager, but all the same did she go. Such a bright light as her beloved was difficult to say no to.
The trip had been, right from the very start, an argument. Twilight had been too destitute, too unhappy to go. Fleur had insisted that going would be the best thing they could do. Christmas, no matter how one felt at the time, was a social holiday, a familial one; to be in isolation by one’s own will was not good for your spirit. Even if it meant a great struggle, to go and be amongst loved ones was better than to make little effort to be in isolation. So when the matter came up for discussion, Fleur’s diplomatic –and intense- will was what won out. They would go to be with Velvet, Night Light, Cadance and Shining; Fleur was ecstatic that such a thing would transpire, and Twilight was so exhausted that she could hardly find an emotion to spare.
“I don’t know why you don’t want to be with your own family this year,” Twilight said tossing her suitcase into the trunk with a lowly huff, slow even though she could see their Uber driver was in a hurry. “We always seem to go to visit with mine.”
“We’ll get to this time. My parents are actually going to be back in town this year for Christmas!” Fleur said, her beautiful face a visage of delight. “It’ll just be closer to New Year’s because Daddy’s having to spend time in Paris. He said he’s bringing us both something really nice when he comes back, too! Isn’t that exciting? I only ever was able to visit France when I was a little girl and I loved it. Ooh, maybe we’ll go sometime this summer and visit for a few weeks!”
“I probably have internships to do, Fleur,” Twilight muttered. A slow walk into the rear seat was what she offered, slumping down across from her beloved as she took in the cold, grey morning that permeated the skies above them. No snow, but plenty of whipping wind and misery to be found throughout the blustery city they called home. It was a miserable winter sight barely tinged with any light, the barest threads of sunrise peeking through the thick iron sheet above.
“Oh, we’ll manage to find some time,” the beautiful girl said, and off did they go to the airport along with tens of thousands of others just in those wee morning hours alone. The city that never slept was crowded, brimming with an excess of life that only a few could manage to withstand; Fleur adored it, while Twilight tolerated it. But for now, it was to be left behind in favor of a smaller city and quieter surroundings- and hopefully a little less cold.
“There’ll be tons of people at the airport,” Twilight muttered, taking in their surroundings. “And it’s not even the Christmas rush yet.”
“We’ll just have to make do,” Fleur said, watching the world go by just beyond her girlfriend’s head. “Besides, there’s no weather to stop us. I checked! We should have a nice, easy flight back home, and your dad said he’d be waiting to pick us up!”
“It’s freezing. That’ll probably slow things up.”
“Oh, they defrost planes faster than you think,” Fleur replied cheerily enough, though she couldn’t quite keep the note of exasperation from her voice. Twilight was determined to be dreary and be kept away from what she needed, seeking out something that would cause delays or cancel the trip completely. And for no reason at all! “We’ll manage.”
“Have we got our IDs? Our tickets?”
“All in my bag. Don’t you worry,” Fleur said, leaning over to kiss the cold forehead of her girlfriend. “Just relax and enjoy the ride. We’re going home to see your family for Christmas! Three whole weeks we get to ourselves to do nothing at all. It’ll be lovely.”
“Yeah…” Twilight let the thought sink in, the great swath of empty days ahead of her beginning to seem real. Three weeks of no thought, no effort, simply a chance to do nothing but sleep and be at peace with the people she’d let down with a poor academic effort. Maybe it wouldn’t shame her throughout and only sting for the first few days.
But then again, Shining did love to tease.
It was a relief that Fleur was the one in charge of tickets, because the airport was a nightmare Twilight hardly had the capacity to stomach. The sheer menagerie of people that surrounded her at every second was worse than a stampede of rampaging animals, a constant cavalcade of people trying to go this way and that until the whole of it was nearly worse than a battlefield. God’s sake, how important was it that they sneak into a line and somehow get ahead of two people? Was checking your bags that significant? To go through security and get bullied along at every second of downtime by people who didn’t know how to be patient and relax was torturous, especially when so many suitcases and heavy forms thrashed against her in their rush to make it to a gate in time. Gods, if Fleur hadn’t insisted they arrive with some good time to spare and see this wretchedness done early-!
“How long is the flight?” Twilight yawned, leaning back in a seat none too comfortable and trying to ignore the filthiness of everything around her. They surely didn’t decontaminate these seats after every flight.
“A little more than two hours, give or take,” Fleur answered, the bright-haired beauty leaning over and kissing the forehead of her beloved. “You may as well take a nap. I think the white noise of an engine is soothing.”
“You’re not thinking about the germs on these seats,” Twilight reminded her.
Rather than a visceral reaction, Fleur only laughed. “You’re right, I’m not,” she said pleasantly. “Maybe you shouldn’t either.”
“Then I wish I knew how to shut my brain off.”
“Never,” Fleur added with another kiss. “I’m far too turned on by your magnificent mind, Twilight. I only wish you’d let it bend your heart to your will rather than the other way around. Now, unless you object, I’m going to get a little shut-eye. Heaven knows Cadance will assault me with wedding ideas the moment I see her.”
Yes, she probably would. Cadance had been over the moon when Fleur had proposed to her, so bubbly and ecstatic that she’d just about popped from the delight that had run through her bones. Twilight remembered the distinct sound of her squeal from when she’d told the young couple, and how her brother had been veritably attacked with the force of sheer happiness. You’d almost think Cadance was a teenage girl seeing her popstar crush for the first time rather than a marriage counselor. The memory of it all, both sight and sound, was enough to elicit a solitary chuckle.
And the sound was not something that went unnoticed, Fleur giving a giggle as she caught the smile upon Twilight’s features. “Oh, getting into the spirit of the season, are we?” She teased. “Well that’s a good start. And we haven’t even arrived yet!”
“Oh shush,” Twilight replied, but her smile grew and became a little wider all the same, she pressed back against her seat as the jet’s engine’s roared hot.
It wasn’t a long flight, but just enough for the two women to get some needed rest after a long and early morning. The call of the captain across the intercom jostled them from light dreaming to a plane in the midst of its descent, turbulence soon seeing them well awake for a bumpy ride down to the tarmac. Though Fleur was the more frequent traveler, she had little enjoyment in the matter and was an unfriendly shade of pale by the time they’d landed.
“You’re sure you’re OK?” Twilight asked as they rose from their seats to depart. Her spectacled gaze was upon her companion and clearly concerned at her current state. “We can take our time getting off if we need to.”
Fleur shook her head, grateful that at least her legs were steady and not hindered by the nausea. “I’ll be fine,” she said rather faintly, only able to offer a grimace. “I’ll feel better once we get moving. Don’t worry.”
“We can take it slow.”
The great beauty attempted a smile. “That would be nice, thank you. Maybe a little cool air on my face…”
Fleur received all that and more, the walk through the jetway almost as bitter a cold as what they had left behind. It took only a few shaky moments for Fleur to regain herself, made right as rain as they went to grab their luggage. Surrounded by hundreds of others waiting for the very same, the young couple tried to jostle themselves into sight of baggage claim as best they could.
“I figured it’d be a little calmer here,” Twilight murmured, looking about at the great throng of holiday host. “It might be busier here than when we left this morning.”
“A good thing it’s not really our problem, then,” Fleur said. “Now, do you see my suitcase?”
The bright-pink mass of fabric was difficult to miss, an eyesore that fulfilled its duty within only a heartbeat of the carousel’s lurch into life. Stuffed to the brim with about a thousand different things Fleur was fearful she might need, the bag looked more akin to an overlarge organ than any normal suitcase. A quick retrieval, but the haste was stifled when Twilight’s smaller luggage was last to make an appearance. When they stepped out into the cold air to catch their ride, they were in the midst of everyone just as they had been before.
“Did your dad say where he’d be waiting for us?” Fleur inquired.
Twilight took a look at her phone, scrolling to her messages. “All the way at the very end,” she reported. “Says he’s in… Shiny’s car? What on earth for?”
They strolled down through the great crowd and what soon came into view was an overlarge SUV, muffler running hot against the bitter chill of fresh winter. Though one soul could be seen within the driver’s seat, protected against the cold, another stood outside the passenger seat in comfortable snivel gear, all smiles and seemingly unperturbed by any of it. A young man was he, though older than the two women that now strode towards him. A great and burly beast, strong from years of dedicated service that had seen him across country and continent and globe alike. When his sharp eyes caught sight of a mismatched couple of women walking hand-in-hand, his eyes crinkled with the strength of his widening smile and he knocked upon his door, alerting his companion to the imminent arrival. “Well, took your sweet, fat time, didn’t ya?” Shining Armor called, words unkind though his tone was jovial as ever. “Surprised you didn’t decide to stop for coffee first! Or did powdering your nose take too much time?”
Twilight rolled her eyes, ignoring her girlfriend’s laughter at the remark. Shining was her brother and dearest family member, even though he’d always been the one to tease and provoke her over the years. It had taken her most of her life to figure the best way to get him to shut up was simply to pretend nothing he said mattered. But then again, it was fun to fire back. “Surprised you have fingers and toes,” she replied, noting the pink upon his cheeks. “All that time down in the islands must have made you soft!”
Shining only took it as reason for further laughter, he happily taking both of them into a friendly embrace. “Everything go OK getting here?”
“Just a little turbulence on our way down,” Fleur said, moving from on hug to another as Night Light appeared from the driver’s side. “Beyond that, everything was rather easy.”
Twilight had only meant for a quick greeting, more intent on escaping the cold than dispensing pleasantries. But when she tried to extract herself, Shining’s grip about her kept fast and saw her secure against the cold.
“You OK, Twily?” Shining’s often-booming voice was softer, a gentler tone she only rarely heard. A look up at his features found the weather-worn face she loved made warm with concern. “It’s good to see you. Was hoping I’d hear from you sooner than just now!”
A small flicker of shame came forth, but it was soon reasoned away, pushed aside by the friendliness of her brother’s smile. For all their childhood squabbling and the tensions that only siblings could have, he had so often been her biggest supporter and friend. Even in her early days, he had been right there to protect her from bullies and weirdos alike, and still now did he care for her wellbeing.
“It’s been a long semester,” she admitted, soon taken into a new embrace by her father. “Sorry I haven’t said much lately.”
“Ah, it’s all good! You’re here now, aren’t you?” Shining said. “Go on, get in and warm up. I’ll get your bags.”
Twilight smiled and obliged and slid into the backseat beside Fleur, she and Night Light chattering away about this and that. The warmth of the car was a welcome reprieve from the misery outside, akin to being wrapped in a comfortable blanket. Goodness, she’d forgotten how much she liked the comfort of his car, left behind ever since he’d been stationed off-continent. Even the smells were still there years later, brimming with a thousand different memories they’d shared.
“Holy jeez, what is in that bag of yours, Fleur? An anvil?” Shining gasped, reappearing from the trunk and slumping into his seat with a gasp of exhaustion. “I max out on deadlift every ACFT and that thing was ten times worse! Did you pack your whole apartment?”
“Only a few extras,” Fleur said, pulling a face at his remark; the very indignity that a man would think she’d overpacked! “A few dresses and shoes in case of Christmas parties, or if we need to be somewhere for New Year’s.”
“And a few hundred pounds of cosmetics to go along with it, maybe?” he guessed drily; a shake of his head and he turned back to face the road. “It’s a good thing you’re staying on the main floor of the house, I ain’t dragging that thing upstairs. You’d need a couple of trucks to even have a chance of that.”
The trip home is through a world of cold and bitter air that cannot find its way inside the warmth, friendly chatter echoing across every wall and window of the rapidly moving car. Fleur’s recovery from her flight woes was swift thanks to the good cheer and company that the two Sparkle men provided, and her awakening mind became more keen on conversation the longer the drive went. For the most part Twilight was content to simply listen in and let the flow of words pass her by, only offering a word when forced to by that of her brother or father. What did she have to say that would matter here? She felt herself inadequate, unworthy of bringing her mind to such merry talk. After a disappointing semester, she wasn’t sure there was much she had to say that was worth all that much.
Fleur, though eager to chat with Shining after so many months since they’d last met, did not let the willful silence of her girlfriend go entirely unnoticed. A few years together had taught her never to force the brilliant woman out of her shell, but the affection she bore was not keen on allowing a black mood to fester. It was only small gestures, but she would reach over and give Twilight’s hand a squeeze or offer a smile. And, after a little insistence, such deeds would be rewarded with a squeeze or a smile in return.
“Alright, here we are!” Night Light declared, pulling into the relative security of the garage and seeing the engine cease. “Home sweet home! Now, Cadance and Velvet were cooking up something for lunch when we were leaving, so we should be getting close to eatin’ time.”
“That sounds wonderful. I’m starving!” Fleur declared.
“Starving? But you look pretty healthy to me,” Shining remarked. He was answered with a roll of her eyes and no offered grin, yet the warrior laughed all the same. “Alright, get on in. Dad and I will get your bags, OK?”
“Thanks, Shining,” Twilight said softly, stretching out her body when feet hit cold cement floor. “I appreciate it.”
The door to the mud room opened and the two girls went inside, casting aside coats and shoes as they came into the house. The fresh scent of Christmas candles filled the air and brought a spicy, festive feeling to their minds, spurring Fleur’s lovely features to come alight. “Ooh, that’s lovely…”
Twilight’s nostrils, however, were soon filled by something far richer than candleflame: hot beef and chili powder, tabasco and the unique tang that only crisp tortilla could provide. When she moved her way into the kitchen, the sight of her mother hard at work over the stovetop was there to greet her.
Velvet took only a moment to notice she was no longer alone; tender features softened by time and worries and delights all alike came to life with joy as she caught sight of her youngest standing there. “Twilight, hello! It’s great to see you!” Abandoning her work, she came to take her daughter into a fierce hug. The feel of it was all-consuming, Twilight enshrouded in a veil of warmth that was just a new layer about her spirit made strong by those who loved her. Yet again did she find herself cherished, valued by those she’d let down with her poor academics. Why were they so keen on seeing her showered with the affection she didn’t deserve? The answer eluded her.
Finally, she began to struggle in taking it any longer. “Mom, it’s really not-”
“Come on, take a taste test!” Velvet said, suddenly reaching for a spoon and offering her daughter a mouthful of tortilla soup. “I think I’ve got the spice level just right, but you are usually the most sensitive, so you’re the best judge around. How is it?”
A new head poked her way into the fray, lustrous locks of myriad color adorned with a bright smile that only grew as it came closer. “Twilight! Oh my gosh, hi!” Cadance came and gave her sister-in-law a backbreaking hug, the glorious woman unabashed in her displays of wanton affection. “I didn’t realize you were getting here so soon- and Fleur! Oh my gosh, I’m so glad to see you both!” As was her usual norm, the lovely wife was going this way and that in doting her affections upon the entire family. “Come on and get warm, it’s horrid outside! I was just wondering about you, how’s it been up at work?”
Twilight felt a kiss fall upon her forehead and she smiled; Velvet’s lips had found their mark upon their daughter, a cherished gift she freely gave. For too long had the doting mother been unable to perform the gestures, the numerous tasks her heart desired to give in offering to others. But now here she stood, a hearty meal ready to be divvied out and all her family under one roof. Velvet was whole in a way that only the holidays could bring about. “Everyone take a bowl and eat your fill! There’s cheese and chips on the table if you want any.”
“Just leave me the pot, I’ll take half,” Night Light said, grinning as he took a bowl and filled it to the brim. What had been within the mix was more than enough to keep everyone satisfied, but the great depths to which he had plunged was not a small amount, sizeable to the eye. Shining licked his chops as he came next behind his father-
“Oh thank you, sweetheart! So kind of you to grab my bowl for me!” Cadance cut through, grabbing the dish from her husband and offering him a kiss upon the cheek for his unintended efforts. “Ooh, this looks delicious, Velvet-”
“Hey, that was-”
“Oh goodness, you’re right! Twilight, Fleur, get yourself taken care of!” Cadance cried. “You’re the latest to arrive, after all. We can’t have our two favorite girls being last in line, can we?”
Fleur giggled and Twilight rolled her eyes, but the two complied and got themselves a heaping helping of food to fill their bowls, the meal well-accompanied by what lay across the table for them to distribute. When Shining took the last of the rich meal onto his plate and settled himself in beside his bride, the whole of them had plenty to dig in to, and the conversation that soon flowed was lively. The more gregarious woman did her part in keeping conversation going, and the task was not a difficult one; the whole of Twilight’s family had been left stunned by the discovery of young Twilight actually getting a significant other, but not once had Fleur ever felt like an outcast or one held under scrutiny. The Sparkle family was one of love and warmth, always ready to bring a new member into the fold. And Cadance- well, Cadance was possibly the most cheerful and welcoming person she’d ever known.
Try as she might, however, Fleur was not going to be the family’s sole focus forever. Twilight’s seclusion from speech was not to last for long, and it took little time for the poor girl to be accosted by her kindred with questions galore, all of them eager to know what sort of brilliant work she’d begun since last they’d met.
“So how are things going with school, Twilight?” Night Light asked, pushing his plate aside as he turned to his daughter. “You must be getting close to being done, right? Only one more semester to go?”
Fleur felt her beloved stiffen beside her, the constant anxiety brought back to life by simple inquiry. Twilight’s air of serenity was evaporating rapidly, and all because of just one question. “I’m- it’s been better,” she said, words slow and small. “… I could be doing better.”
The answer came as a surprise to her father, the man’s beaming expression becoming one of confusion. His daughter the genius, struggling in academia? He’d seen her be brilliant since she was little more than a toddler trying to learn to walk. “Really?”
“Nonsense! She’s been doing wonderfully,” Fleur said, sensing an opportunity to beat down her fiancé’s self-deprecation. “I only wish she wouldn’t work herself so hard, I can barely get her to eat some nights. Yet she still has such good skin! I have to work every day to be just as smooth.”
“Fleur, I’ve really not been- you know I’ve been messing up lately,” Twilight protested. “Don’t just lie about me.”
There came the surprising sound of a snigger, Shining Armor struggling to hold back his laughter- even moreso as his younger sister scowled at him for it. “Sorry- look, Twily, no one here is gonna believe you suddenly suck at school for some reason,” he said. “Come on, if you’re gonna lie, at least make it sound believable.”
“But I have been- I’ve been such a letdown, I’m not even the best in the class!”
“Are you failing?” Velvet asked mildly.
“Well, no,” Twilight answered.
“Are you slacking off on your work? Not likely, if Fleur says you’re exhausted every day,” came the matriarch’s reply. “Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“She’s on track for a job already,” Fleur added, the revelation earning a dig in her ribs from the woman beside her. “She’ll probably be working in less than a week after she graduates, the university wants to take her on as staff for research.”
“But I’m still not doing as well as I should! I should be- be an…” Twilight’s pride demanded that she continue on, whip herself for the shame of not being the smartest person in the room. She always had been and, despite no intent to become as such, her standards demanded that she always be. But instead, she was simply not going to be this semester, relegated to the ranks of an excellent student rather than the shining example. The very shame made her bones shrivel.
“You’re going to gain your PhD, aren’t you?” Cadance asked. “I mean, I can’t see you failing that, you’re too smart for it.”
“… I should, yes,” Twilight eventually admitted meekly.
Cadance smiled and gave a shrug. “Then the grades don’t really matter! They still call you ‘doctor’ when you’re done. Just do your best like you always do, and do the same when you’re working at the university.”
“And we know that you’re giving it your very best,” Velvet assured her, reaching over from her seat to give her daughter’s hand a small squeeze. “You always have been very smart, and even if this is challenging you, I know you’re doing whatever it takes to succeed. We’ve always been proud of you, and I’m sure you’ll make us proud again when you graduate.”
“And we definitely love you, no matter what,” Fleur added.
Twilight looked keen on arguing further. Her pride demanded it, her ego screamed for them to hold her to the same impossible standards that she held herself; but how to convince these people that they were wrong? Never once had they budged on their opinions of her, even when she’d been young. If it had been tempers that had made them give an opinion then she might have chanced it, but the serene, pleasant smiles and looks she garnered from family and fiancé were much more difficult to surmount. How to overcome what joy demanded be believed, regardless of what was thrust against it? Twilight knew she didn’t know a thing that could stop them, nor would she ever. So maybe the best thing was to simply stop being such a black hole of misery and let them believe what they believed of her.
“… Thanks,” Twilight said, managing another spoonful and letting the matter rest.
The afternoon went by in good cheer, the momentary focus upon a rather beleaguered young woman coming to an end as other matters came to discussion instead. Shining and Cadance’s life amidst paradise, and the subsequent intivations they offered to the whole family to join them, took up the rest of the meal. As drinks were served and the family moved to the living room, Fleur’s blossoming career in the chaos that was the UN saw her fielding queries from everyone, and stories of all kinds flowed from her lips. It was difficult for anyone to truly tear themselves away and see to other tasks for a time when there was so much to catch up on. Familial ties that bound so easily beckoned to them all, even the one young woman who had so unwillingly ventured her way to their midst. The shame she desired to feel, the sorrow at her self-perceived failings, were still eager to freeze her spirit. But the warmth surrounding her said otherwise, and not one of them would brook the slightest objection. So, despite her desires to retreat to the safety of her old room and curl up within herself, Twilight remained seated with her family beside Fleur, who was eager to cuddle beneath a blanket for a little extra warmth. She spoke every now and then, offered a few details about her upcoming nuptials, even watched a little bit of a basketball game that her father became fixated on. Her willingness to flee was being kept at bay by the world she knew so well.
Eventually, the sun darkened; night fell outside and grew deep, the natural urges beckoning for those within the quiet home to at last close their eyes. When Velvet caught sight of Twilight’s features truly beginning to sag, she gave a small chuckle at the sight. “You two have been up for ages, don’t feel like you need to stay up on my account. It takes me forever to get tired nowadays.” Rising from her seat, the matriarch took the empty cups beside the engaged couple in hand and headed to the kitchen. “Go get showered up, go to bed! I stay up late every night, anyway.”
“Do you want any help with the dis-”
“I’m always happy to look after guests. It’s what moms do,” Velvet answered as she cut through Fleur’s words with a smile. “Go on, you two. And see you in the morning.”
The great beauty gave a giggle and looked over at her spectacled companion. “I guess we’ve been evicted from the couch,” she said. “A shower does sound nice, though.”
“It does…” Twilight suddenly felt conscious of the day’s grime that was upon her clothes, her skin, her everywhere. Goodness, how had she put up with it for so long? And after such a stuffed, icky flight! “Yeah, I could use a shower.”
“You want it first?”
“No, you can go ahead.”
“Then don’t mind if I do. Ooh, this is going to feel nice.” Fleur stretched and gave a contented sigh as they entered Twilight’s old bedroom, comfortably furnished by an old day bed and a trundle that had most certainly not been present during her younger years. But the simple room, aged and full of memories of yesteryear, would be enough to see two young women comfortably through the cold and quiet weeks they had amongst family, and the small bathroom beside them offering just enough space to see them through.
Fleur poked her head in and pulled a face. OK, so perhaps enough for Twilight’s simple ensemble. Hers would have to be put atop the desk if she were to have enough room for makeup; a good beau had to be considered desirable at all times, after all.
“Hey, umm…” Just as Fleur was about to undress and make her way into the warmth of the shower, a hand wrapped about her fingers to keep her anchored to the spot. That beautiful, regal head turned about to see Twilight looking up at her, her usual bashful smile there on her thin lips. “I wanted to say thank you. For making me come down here.”
“As if I would have left you behind,” Fleur murmured. The hand that was held remained that way, the free arm coming about her fiancé’s waist so they could more properly embrace. Fleur breathed in the scent of Twilight’s hair, let its natural softness tickle her face. Oh, how she loved this feeling, longed for it all the day long. So much of the past year had been arduous, leaving these quiet moments to the wayside while difficult work was done. But this… oh, she’d needed this. “Ooh, I’m so glad we’re here.”
“So am I.” Twilight’s kiss upon Fleur’s neck was momentary, soft, and enough to make the taller woman come alive with electricity. “Sorry I’ve been such a downer lately… and a lot of time before that, too.”
“You’ve always got me to come to when you need to rest, darling,” Fleur replied, and she gave Twilight’s cheek a kiss of its own before moving on to find those lips she cherished. One soft, lingering kiss, just enough to see the message through. “And I’ll always be glad to do so.”
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” Twilight breathed. “Now hurry and get a shower, I feel disgusting. You’re making me wait.”
Fleur laughed and was swift to undress, happy to oblige her beloved with obedience and so much more. Her heart was aglow, a candleflame amidst the dark of their wintry world that carried on outside. Tonight was over, but the morning would bring plenty of good things and a whole lot more. Christmastime was here.
Author's Note
Well it took me every ounce of time between Thanksgiving and now, but I did get it done. And my wordsmithing sucks ass, too. Joy, I really have lost my touch.
Merry Christmas, y'all. Enjoy this time like you should.
