The One You're (Not) With
A mobile phone played a sad but beautiful tune.
"Oh, hi, Wallflower. I'm doing fine. I'm at the cafe on the edge of Bridle Park, sitting at one of the outdoor tables. Yeah, Adagio is here too." Sunset tapped the speakerphone icon. "Say hi, Adagio."
Adagio spoke, trying to look innocent but mostly looking uncomfortable. "Hello, Wallflower. Is it true you and Sunset are roommates?"
Sunset set her phone on the table, between herself and Adagio.
Wallflower's voice said, "Yes, we live together. Isn't she just so nice? And beautiful, and caring, and...so many things I could say about her."
Adagio raised her eyebrows at Sunset.
Wallflower said, "I don't want to interfere with your lunch and make you let it get cold. Talk to you later! Sunset, you can tell me all about how it went."
"Yes," Adagio said. "Sunset, you can tell her ALL ABOUT it."
Sunset tapped her phone to end the call.
Adagio snorted. "Checking up on you, huh?"
"We're...very close."
"I guess you two are. Are you sure you don't want to go on a date with HER, instead of me?"
Sunset blushed. "Maybe. Yes. I would love to go on a date with her."
"But she won't?"
"She didn't want to. Maybe someday...maybe someday she'll understand how I feel about her."
Adagio laughed. "Maybe she understands already. Maybe she's in love with you. That would explain why she keeps checking up on you. Maybe you and her are already lovers. Maybe you're cheating on her with me."
"I would never want to do anything to hurt her."
"But you didn't say I was wrong. Maybe you think if you go on a little date with me, but never tell her, she won't ever get her little feelings hurt? If she never knows about it?"
Sunset picked up her phone. She experimentally leaned it against a vase of flowers, picked it up to swipe and tap and tap again, and set it back against the vase. "We only have a few seconds," Sunset said.
"A few seconds for what?" Adagio asked.
"A few seconds to get in position." Sunset got out of her chair, dashed around the little table, grabbed Adagio's head in both hands, and bent down to kiss her mouth forcefully. Adagio smiled, opening her lips. The siren grabbed Sunset back, one hand drifting down towards Sunset's buttocks.
The phone's camera flashed.
Adagio laughed. "Are you sure it's safe to have a photo like that? I don't care one way or the other, but if Wallflower sees it..."
"Wallflower won't see anything she doesn't want to see. Maybe she would be happy that you and I are happy."
Adagio grabbed Sunset's hair and gently pulled. "Spoken like a true cheater. Like someone who would say and do anything, to get what she wants."
"If you keep talking like that, I'm leaving. You and I can go to lunch together...we can even make a date of it...but please leave Wally out of it. Just like I'm leaving her out of it."
Adagio shrugged. "Well...ok. But I'm not going to settle for scraps." Adagio scooted her chair out a couple feet farther from the table. "For the rest of this lunch, you're going to sit in my lap, and tell me I'm beautiful, and pamper me."
With one hand on Adagio's shoulder, Sunset plopped herself on top of Adagio's thighs. "Ok, be my chair. Kiss me, you pretty piece of furniture girl."
Adagio pinched Sunset's cheek. "What did you just call me?"
"You told me to sit on you. I'm just doing what you said you wanted."
Adagio's other hand tugged at Sunset's ear. "You're lucky you're so hot, or I would never put up with this." She kissed Sunset.
The phone still leaned against the vase, its camera pointed directly at Adagio and Sunset.
***
Sunset closed her apartment door behind her, pulled off her boots, and stomped into the living room. She found Wallflower sitting on the couch.
"Sunset!" Wallflower said. "How was lunch?"
"It was fine. Except that it wasn't with you."
"Stop trying to be so nice to me, Sunset. It's wrong to tell lies."
"But it's the truth! That's really how I feel!"
Wallflower hit the couch with one hand. "Tell me the truth. Tell me everything."
"I asked her to lunch, like you told me to. We went on a date, because you insisted I do that."
"Did you kiss her?"
"Mostly she kissed me. But...yes."
"Come over here. Do you have any photos?"
"I took one. She doesn't know I would ever show it to you, though." Sunset found the picture. "See? Photographic proof."
"Yes, I see. Even though I might be ugly and worthless and horrible, at least my horribleness and ugliness hasn't spread to you."
"Why do you talk about yourself like that? It isn't fair!"
"Shut up and kiss me. I want to try to taste her on your lips."
Sunset leaned towards Wallflower, and gently kissed her lips. The kiss lasted for close to a minute.
"Are you satisified?"
"I'm glad to know that women like Adagio still find you attractive. That even if I'm...ME...at least I haven't ruined you."
"You could never ruin a person. You would just make them better. You would--" Wallflower put her hand over Sunset's mouth.
Wallflower said, "If you still love me, show me. Words can lie. Maybe the rest of your body can't. Even if you just want to use me as a cuddle toy and a cheap--"
"Stop talking like that! Oh, Wallflower. Why can't you--"
"Shh. No words. Use your lips if you must, but no words." Wallflower gently pulled Sunset closer. "Try to show me how you say you feel."
***
An hour later, as the two girls spooned on the couch with Wallflower in front, Sunset spoke. "Wally. Someday you have to understand that I love you."
"I believe that you love me. That's why I'm still here. But I have to know I'm not ruining your life. That I'm not keeping you away from people who are prettier and better than me. The people you really deserve."
"But no one could be prettier and better than you. It's more a matter of, can I be worthy of you? And how can someone who cheats on you be a good enough girlfriend for you? It doesn't make sense! Just let me love you, and only you!"
Wallflower pulled away from Sunset, sitting up and curling into a little ball. "Stop trying to make me feel like you and I really belong together. I know no one could really think I'm good enough for you! No one in their right mind could think that. Not even you could be that stupid."
Sunset sighed. She sat up, scootched over towards Wallflower, and put an arm partway around her. "Please don't call me stupid."
"Stupid, or a liar. Or crazy."
"I'm not lying, and I'm not crazy!"
"Stop trying to prove that you are. Don't talk to me right now. If you'd be quiet about that stuff, I can pretend that you aren't any of those things."
Sunset clenched her fists with frustration.
"See? You're angry. That's because you know I'm not good enough for you. Because you're too good for me. I watched you and Adagio, you know, through your phone's video link. And it makes me feel better. Because even if something happens to me, at least you'll have someone. It looked like you and her really could be happy together."
Sunset said in a dull, angry voice, "I was faking it."
Sunset continued, "I don't even like her. She's a nasty, rude, petty conceited heartless bitch. I was faking it, because that's what you said you wanted, me and her to go on a date. Another fucking date. But please let me stop it. Please understand that I only love you! Please let me just be only YOUR girlfriend, every day, every night! Forever. Please please please, just try to understand me!"
"How much do you love me? Do you love me enough that if I left you, you would kill yourself?"
"No!" Sunset shouted.
"I didn't think so."
"I wouldn't kill myself, because I'd never want to take the risk of you blaming yourself for it. Not ever. I'd never want to hurt you. I never want to take the risk of hurting you. You already hurt yourself far more than any person could ever deserve, even a bad person, which you aren't. I swear to God. Please be as nice to yourself as you deserve."
"I am."
"No you aren't. Is there anything I can do, anything I can say--"
"Text Adagio to tell her you love her. Or someone else, I don't care. Because I want to know that...if something happens to me, you won't be alone."
"If something happens to you, no one will be able to make me feel better. Not Adagio, not Sonata and Aria or an entire flock of sirens and mermaids. Not anyone at all. If something happens to you, I think I could never really get over it."
"You're crazy!"
With both hands, Sunset gently, patiently pulled the curled up little Wallflower-ball partway open, far enough that Sunset could bend down and stick her head into the gap between Wally's chest and thighs. "If I'm crazy, I'm only crazy about you." Sunset lay down, keeping her head wedged into that Wallflower-scented space. "Did I ever tell you that you smell nice? Like a garden?"
"Pfft! Have you even gone over and SEEN my garden this week? My garden smells like...manure, right now."
"But it's YOUR garden, so I still like it." Sunset turned her head to put her lips on Wallflower's thigh, and blew a raspberry.
Wallflower sighed, wrapping her hands gently around Sunset's head.
Both young women slowly fell asleep.
***
As the room darkened with evening, Sunset reached for her phone on the coffee table.
Finding it, she stroked the volume controls to silence. Her fingers opened a chat app.
We have to stop dating.
why
decided you need someone less sexy?
Ha ha. I'm in love with Wallflower Blush.
about time you accepted it
you silly fool
and btw
you know you'll never date anyone as hot as me ever again
You aren't what I want.
i wish you and Wallflower the best
she'll probably be so happy she croaks
That's not funny
like a frog get it
because shes all green thumbs
shes green
like a frog croaking its mating call
never mind
i really hope you two are happy together
and if you ever give up on her
or even just need a little break
you know where i am
and you know some of what i can do for you
Thanks, I guess. Thanks for hoping that Wally and I can be happy together.
i don't think it will be easy
trying to make wallflower happy sounds like trying to bail out the ocean with a spoon
but im cheering for you
silly girl
but your even more beautiful for trying to do that
good luck
i love you
Sunset inputted a new text, but didn't hit send. Instead, she put her hand on Wallflower's shoulder. "Wally?"
"Mrmgh."
"Wally. I need to talk to you."
Wally's eyes were bleary slits. "What is it? Is it morning? Is it time to get up?"
"We need to talk." Sunset tugged on Wallflower's shoulder. "Sit up. I need you to be awake."
Wallflower's eyes widened. "What's wrong, Sunny?"
"Nothing's...No, that's not true. Something's very wrong, but it's something we can fix, if we work together. Now sit up." Sunset sat up straight, and Wallflower leaned against her.
"Tell me what you're talking about, Sunset."
"Our relationship is out of balance."
Wallflower laughed. "You woke me up to tell me that? Of COURSE it's out of balance. Because you're...mentally healthy and not fucked up, and you're so great, and I'm a horrible disgusting little nothing."
"I don't like to hear you talk like that. That's not the problem. The problem is, you told me to do things that I don't want to do. Things I can't STAND to do. And we've got to stop those things."
"So break up with me. Cheese, that was easy."
"That's not the answer, Wally. You told me to go on dates with Adagio. But I don't WANT to date Adagio. I refuse to keep doing it. I'm finally standing up for myself. I only want you. Watch."
Sunset showed her phone's screen to Wally. "Look at this."
"No! Don't do it!"
Sunset tapped send. "There we go."
Adagio, I'm breaking up with you. As of RIGHT NOW.
Wallflower stared at the screen. "You really did it. After I worked so hard getting you to date her--"
"Let me tell you about you and me. Our relationship isn't going to be about you telling me what to do, and me doing it every time. Not anymore. It's going to be about me supporting you, but that doesn't mean just going along with everything you say."
A new message appeared on the screen.
i think you're doing the right thing
tell green girl i said good luck
and i really mean it
love
adagio
Wallflower shook her head. "Why is she saying that? Why is she just letting you go?"
Sunset laughed. "Because I love you so much that even she can tell. Every time Adagio and I went on a date, she at least mentioned it. Even Adagio sees you and I are right together. That we belong together. That I love you so much. She even knows you love me too. The only person you're fooling is yourself."
Wallflower shook her head.
"Wally, I really mean it. Please don't give up."
Wallflower sighed. After a minute, she whispered, "I'll try."
Sunset whispered, "Thanks. Thank you so much. You let me get back together with the girl I love the most of all of anyone in the world."
In a tiny voice, Wallflower said, "You're a fool."
"If I'm a fool, I'm a fool in love with you. Now come on, let's decide what we're doing for dinner."
Author's Note
This story is based partly on Bicyclette making fun of my love for unorthodox shipfics that might play fast, loose, and free with a contest's official 'theme'...
Bike [XX/XX/XXXX]
it's like if i submitted my sunsagio story as a sunflower story because the reveal at the end is that sunset goes home and we
see that wallflower's her depressed live-in girlfriend that she's been cheating on
And partly on the fact I really would write something like that.
