Magic kindergarten.

After over five years away from Equestria, Sunset Shimmer was finally on good terms with her former teacher, the now-retired Princess Celestia. Time heals, as they always say. And now in college, Sunset decided to take some time off during summer vacation to spend a month in Equestria, taking up Princess Twilight’s invitation to stay in the (or, one of the many) spare rooms at the Canterlot Castle.

Sunset spent a week in Silver Shoals visiting Princess Celestia, and the rest catching up with Princess Twilight and the ponies in Canterlot who had at least somewhat pleasant impressions of her. But for her first day in Equestria, she decided to give back with a little community service, by volunteering one morning at Canterlot’s Magic Kindergarten.

She had already arranged it with the teachers, but the lesson would be a surprise—she would be taking over whatever kindergarten lesson that had been planned for that day. Perhaps it would be reading a story book, or teaching them basic colors and shapes. Magic kindergarten, from Sunset’s own experience, did not in fact have much magic at all—the focus in the early years was building one’s discipline and knowledge to help focus their raw abilities.

So Sunset showed up at the kindergarten that morning, promptly at 8 o’clock, fresh out of the mirror portal, with little more in her saddlebag than a bag of gold Bits and her official visa papers (given to her by Princess Twilight as identification).

“Oh, you are Sunset Shimmer, right? Great to see you, right on time! I’m Aurora Cascade, the teacher here.” The teacher looked to be fairly new, different than Sunset’s old kindergarten teacher who had since retired…perhaps for the best, given Sunset’s infamous past. “So…the Princess tells me you live in the human world…?”

Sunset Shimmer nodded. “Yep. I went to high school there…now I’m in university, studying graphic design.”

“Oh, how exciting! I’m sure the students will love you…they’re always so curious about the mirror portal and the human world…!” That information had been recently declassified after Princess Twilight’s coronation, although access between the two worlds was still strictly controlled, to prevent the spread of “renegade magic”.

“So what will the kids…I mean, the foals…be learning about today?”

“Oh, quite simple, dear…today we’re teaching them about money!” The teacher floated a laminated poster to her as a teaching aid.

Sunset froze, almost failing to pick up the poster with her horn.

Counting money? Oh no. No. No no no.

“Miss Shimmer? Is everything all right?”

Eventually Sunset Shimmer snapped out of her daze when the school bell rang.

It was a small class of twelve surprisingly well-behaved students, although even they got a bit excited when they heard that Sunset Shimmer was a permanent resident of the now publicly-known human world. The class started with the same, rather predictable questions.

“Miss Shimmer, what’s it like to have hands?”

“What’s it like to walk on two legs?”

“Why do you live there instead of Equestria?”

Teacher Aurora interjected. “Later, later, fillies and colts…first, Miss Shimmer is going to teach you a little lesson today. Today we’re going to learn about counting money!”

A collective groan came out from the five-year-old students. Sunset Shimmer was groaning too, her frustrations drowned out by the higher pitched voices. The students began to get restless.

“One two three eyes on me!” The unicorn teacher let out a bright flash of light from her horn, making even Sunset flinch from her seat.

Sunset Shimmer took a deep breath. “H-hi kids…” she said with an awkward smile. The foals sat on the colorful rug in the classroom, waiting for Sunset to explain the laminated poster she hugged awkwardly with her forelegs. She could never become used to not having hands again.

“S-so…this is a Bit.” She pointed to the picture of a gold coin on the poster with her hoof. “It’s based on the value of one Bit of gold by weight…and, each Bit is, erm…is divided into 25 silvers…yes?” A foal raised her hoof almost immediately.

“Isn’t it 20 silvers, Miss Shimmer?” The smallest filly at the front with a super squeaky voice said.

“Oh! S-sorry…it’s printed…right there on the poster…s-sorry…” Sunset began sweating nervously, especially as she noticed Teacher Aurora cringing in the back of the classroom. “R-right…so…one Bit…is divided into 20 silvers.” She pointed to the picture of a relatively smaller coin, which was silver, hence the name.

“And each silver…is divided into 12 dots…” she pointed to a picture of a copper coin, which was called a “dot” due to its small, thin shape. The 1-dot coins were sometimes called “cops”, short for “copper”, which did get Sunset Shimmer out of trouble when she first arrived in the human world, and she told the robber in the alleyway that she only had “four cops” with her.

“So now, let’s see how many dots are in one Bit...” she moved to the next line on the poster. “12 plus 12 plus 12…add that 20 times…and you get 240 Dots…in one bit.”

Of course they would be teaching this. From Magic Kindergarten to Cheerilee’s one-room schoolhouse, counting money in the Bit system was as fundamental in Equestria as telling time and basic addition and subtraction. Sunset Shimmer learned. Every filly and colt did. In fact, half of kindergarten was spent learning it. Because that’s just how long it took to get at that age.

Sunset started having flashbacks as a filly in Canterlot at the ice cream stand on a blazing hot day. The double fudge swirl cone melting as she tried to count the right coins. With a long, long line of sweating, testy ponies behind her.

You can imagine why you’d want to forget that.

Another foal raised her hoof, stopping Sunset just short of falling into a panic attack. “Miss Shimmer, do you use silvers and dots in the hoo-man world?”

“N-no…” she said. “We use something called cents…acutally…instead of a Bit, we have a dollar…and one dollar is divided into 100 cents.”

“How many cents are in one silver then?”

“W-we don’t use silvers…just cents…so…we have 5 cent coins…and twenty of those equal 100 cents, which equal a dollar. And ten 10 cent coins equal 100 cents, which equal a dollar.”

“That sounds much easier!” One foal in the back blurted out.

“Yeah…why don’t we do that instead?”

Sunset Shimmer’s gaze alternated awkwardly between the observing Teacher Aurora and the kindergarteners, now all speaking indistinctly. Sunset kept an awkward smile as she continued to sweat nervously. Probably the same awkward smile you’d have when you’ve kinda accidentally incited a social mutiny in magic kindergarten.

“N-now let’s do some p-practice problems…” Sunset said, trying to keep with the syllabus. She flipped through a board book that Teacher Aurora provided to her. “Now…if I give you two silvers, a half-crown, and a six-dot…what coin does that equal?” They had pictures of coins printed on the board book, all with Twilight’s face on them of course. Four pairs of eyes, as if piercing into Sunset Shimmer’s soul with an air of golden, silver, and copper superiority.

The same tiny filly in the front with the squeaky voice raised her hoof almost immediately. “One crown!”

Sunset flipped the page on the board book, revealing the answer. One crown, which equaled 5 silvers, or a quarter of a Bit. Sunset, almost by instinct, gave the intelligent filly a spiteful glare. Twilight Jr.? She mused in her head.

Next page on the board book. “Now…if I pay you 2 Bits, for something that has a price of ‘1B 4s 9d,’ how much change should you give back to me?”

One colt in the back raised his hoof. “Erm…is it…2 minus 1…so 1 Bit…20 minus 4…so 16 silvers…and 12 minus 9…so 3 dots…so…1 Bit, 16 silvers, and 3 dots?”

“You’re so close…” Sunset Shimmer said, as she wrote down the subtraction on the whiteboard. “Well…see…remember you need to borrow from the 2 here…so it becomes a 1…from the 20 here…so it becomes a 19…so it’s 0 Bits, 15 silvers, and 3 dots.” Sunset Shimmer glanced up at Teacher Aurora, checking for a flinch. Phew. At least she wasn’t totally brain-rotted from life in the human world.

“Now…” Sunset continued on the board book. “…how much is 15 silvers and 3 dots in coins?”

The same colt answered. “Erm…2 crowns, 5 silvers, and 3 dots?”

Sunset Shimmer couldn’t calculate in her head fast enough, so she flipped the page to get the answer. “No, the answer is actually ‘3 crowns and 1 thrudot coin’.”

The filly with the squeaky voice interjected, not even waiting to be called after raising her hoof. “Actually Miss Shimmer, his answer is correct too. It’s just not the most ‘e-fish-int’ because it uses more coins.”

Yeah. That five-year-old is definitely Twilight Jr.

“Wait, can I use 6 half-crowns too?”

“How many thrudots are in a crown again?”

As Sunset continued the practice problems in the board book, the hoofs kept raising, and the questions from the foals kept coming. Finally, after Problem 7 (2B 15s 8d plus 0B 7s 10d, or 3 Bits, 1 silver, 1 half-crown—see how fast you can do THAT in your head), Sunset Shimmer’s brain reached its melting point.

“Uggh! This is literal shi…shiitake mushrooms!” She (almost) cursed out loud.

“What does ‘shishitaki’ mean?” One confused filly asked her classmates.

“Nothing, dear, nothing, don’t ever say that,” Teacher Aurora quickly said to the filly.

“Miss Shimmer, can you teach us cents?”

“Yeah, we should just do cents!”

“I think silvers and dots are kind of fun,” the "Twilight Jr." filly said. “It’s like a fun puzzle.” (Of course you would, Sunset Shimmer thought to herself.)

“Miss Shimmer, can you tell us about having two legs and hands now?”

“Sure thing!” After that whole experience teaching money, Sunset Shimmer was just relieved to have an excuse to change the topic.

Princess Twilight was busy that evening—royal business in the castle, supposedly. Sunset Shimmer instead spent the evening with Applejack and her partner Rainbow Dash, who happened to be in Canterlot that time, showcasing some new apple varieties at the Equestria Horticultural Exposition.

“Uggggh, you are sooo right, Sunset.” Rainbow Dash commiserated with her as they sat at a table in the back at the Tasty Treat. The pegasus rolled her eyes until they were practically facing the back of her head. “This old Bit system is soooo annoying. I thought Twilight would get rid of the old system since she just became ruler and all, but…”

Applejack chimed in. “Well, Ah think she kept it ‘cause she understands the importance of tradition.”

“Cents Make Sense, AJ!” Rainbow Dash, quoting the grassroots movement recently gaining traction in Equestria, especially outside of Canterlot. With her influence as a Wonderbolt, Rainbow was one of the most prominent and outspoken supporters. Of course, Applejack, hadn’t been convinced to join her wife in the cause quite yet.

“It a’int that complicated! Besides, there’s a reason it’s 240 dots in a Bit, 240’s easier to divide than 100 ‘cause it’s got more factors!”

“Ugh, sounds like something Twilight would say. Twilight thinks everypony in Equestria can do mental math like she can! And, like, I tooootally could learn if I wanted to, but my brain’s too focused on being an awwwwwesome flyer to worry about how many half-crowns and thrudots equal a silver! 100 cents in a Bit! Isn’t that so much easier!?”

“To think a system of counting money might be the thing that splits your marriage…” Sunset Shimmer quipped as she sat in the middle of this lovers' quarrel(?).

“Nah, Ah still love her sweet lil’ decimalized flank.”

“Love ya too, you old Imperialist mare.” The two smiling young lovers closed the gap for a quick kiss.

Sunset Shimmer stared blankly, wondering how their marriage even functioned.

“Besides, even if yer lazy like Rainbow Dash here…”—Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out teasingly as Applejack said that—"…ya can punch the numbers in this here calculator.” She pulled out a strange mini rotary device from her saddlebag. “Thang does all the number crunchin’ for ya.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s an app for that,” Sunset said, chuckling a bit at how seemingly needless the analog device was to her.

The earth pony and pegasus suddenly fell silent.

“Er…what’s an ‘app’?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Ahh…sorry. Wrong Applejack and Rainbow Dash.” Sunset blushed a little in embarrassment as she realized her mistake. (Although, with the portal to the human world now being public knowledge, she mused it would only be a matter of time before “app” would no longer just mean “appetizer” in Equestria.)

Speaking of appetizers, after the three ponies enjoyed a modest four-course dinner at the Tasty Treat, the bill came out to be 64 Bits, 5 silvers, and 9 dots (tax and service included). Split three ways, that was 21 Bits, 8 silvers, and 7 dots.

Sunset opened her saddlebag and realized she was out of gold Bits to pay her share. “Er…do you take CanterPay?” And then she stuffed her hoof into her bag, feeling for a metal and glass brick.

The waiter, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack alike, looked at Sunset with confusion.

“S-sorry. Never mind. I guess…put it…on the slate…I’ll pay you once I go back and get more Bits from my room…”

And it was an actual slate. Her name written in chalk on a new line just below “Moondancer—35B 7s 8d” (Sunset did in fact return the next morning, with extra bits. The owner recognized her immediately and even wished her well.)

After the bill, they had some complimentary coffee and talked for another 15 minutes. Rainbow Dash talked about the best clouds she’d ever napped on, Applejack on the success of her Zapcrisp apple variety at the horticulture expo. Thinking of her world’s Rainbow Dash, Sunset was half expecting Rainbow Dash to open up her phone mid-sentence. Or for Applejack to start texting her sister.

It was…kind of nice actually. Maybe there was some value in “tradition”, as this world’s Applejack would say. The “old ways.” Something…fragile, that needed to be preserved, as the human world and its culture on the other side of the portal would surely begin to seep into Equestria. Or, at the very least, there was something important to be learned from the “old ways”.

The three of them walked out into the warm night, still talking and laughing. The laughter quickly faded, though, when they noticed a pink slip of paper on Applejack’s wagon, parked on the street.

I guess some things are the same in Equestria, Sunset thought to herself. “Why did they ticket you?” she said out loud.

“Ah, horseapples,” Applejack said. “It’s ‘cause mah apple cart’s parked within 50 links of a fire hydrant. Was so tired after the expo, I didn’t even see the darned thang.”

“How much is the ticket, sugarcube?” Rainbow asked her wife.

“20 Bits 5 an’ 4.”

“I have 20 Bits…and 1 crown…and 1 cop…do you have a groat, AJ?”

“Well Ah got a thru-dot, and that’ll make 4. Here, Ah’ll pay fer it, Dash. Ah also got a half-crown, 2 silvers, a six-dot, an’ 20 Bits, you jus’ gimme yer cop.”

“Okay. Where’s the nearest police station, so we can pay it?”

“I think there’s one about 3 furlongs down that way.”

Sunset Shimmer’s brain melted again and she started seizing on the street.

Dear Princess Twilight,

Please just switch to cents and metric already.

Your fed-up friend,
Sunset Shimmer

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

Hey, at least we don’t have to calculate tips every time we breathe air.

--Her Majesty Princess Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note

Let me start by saying, hoo-wee, does it feel good to be writing again!

A bit of context might be needed to understand this story. The UK was the last major country to change to decimal currency, in which the main unit of currency is divided into 100 cents/pence/etc. Before 1971, the UK used the non-decimal system of pounds, shillings, and pence, in which one pound equaled 20 shillings, or 240 pence, with 12 pence in 1 shilling. It was written as £3 5s 7d, £ being pounds, s being shilling (although technically short for the Latin word “solidi”), and d being pence (short for the Latin word “denarii”).

I then recently watched this video from Star Strike on how much money Rarity makes. At about the 9-minute mark, he points out the frame showing the cash register (the cover photo of this story), which he reads as 211158 Bits. Personally, I disagree. I noticed the cash register display has three boxes (not two or four), which reminded me of how the pre-decimal currency of the UK is written in pounds, shillings, and pence. I think the register reads something similar to 211 (41?)B/£ 15s 8d.

Many currencies in the past were in fact non-decimal, as they were literally based on dividing gold and silver into pieces. Considering Equestria uses gold Bits, all the more likely they would have a non-decimal currency. Imagining Equestria with a non-decimal currency is what inspired me to write this (in just half a day, moreover!).

What do you all think? Would you prefer life with a decimal or non-decimal currency?

As for me, my brain was broken trying to make up all the mini money counting problems in this story. Kudos to this calculator for helping me out.