EPIC LESBIAN BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

by DapperLilArts

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Romance, Profanity, Random
Length: 4413

Rainbow Dash thinks she's the best lesbian in Equestria. Applejack disagrees.

APPLEJACK! VS! RAINBOW DAAAAASH

BEGIN!

Who can please the most mares, most efficiently, most lovingly? Who can love and cherish women in the best, most fierce ways? Who is the strongest Mare-Lover, and can that even be quantifiable? Let us find out.

Published 2024-11-06 17:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-06 17:30:00 UTC

ONLY THE STRONGEST MARE-LOVER WILL SURVIVE

Like many of the debacles that constantly occurred between Applejack and Rainbow Dash, it started fairly light, and fairly innocent.

Until there was a dare.

“I’m just sayin’, Dash. I’m pretty sure I been with more mares than you.” The Farmer absentmindedly bucked a tree, collecting the apples that tumbled down with surprising agility. “I haven’t been countin’, but still.”

“HAH!” Not helping with the chores, the pegasus lounged on top of a tree. “Dude, you’re aware they called me the cloudsdale heartbreaker, right? Come back at me when you’ve gotten yourself a title that isn’t the best apple bucker or the most dependable mare in ponyville, ‘cause those don’t have anything to do with being a lesbian.”

“Breakin’ hearts got nothin to do with pleasin’ em, Dash.” The Farmer raised an auspicious eyebrow. “‘Course, I figured ya wouldn’t know anythin’ about that.”

“O-oh YEAH?” The Pegasus’s wings instinctively unfurled, as she prepared to leap down. “You wanna put that to the TEST?? Let’s call our latest chicks on the side and ask them!! I’m sure my girl will be absolutely delighted to say that I treated her like an angel! No– A Princess!!”

“Rainbow, I’m pretty sure Rarity n’ Fluttershy are busy today. Ya don’t gotta get all yer feathers ruffled, I was just sayin. Also, they’re called girlfriends.”

“Oh, yeah you’re right.” She sat back down, with a malicious smirk. “I get it, though. You know I’d win no matter what, and don’t want to rise to the challenge… It's understandable, man. It is. You’re being the bigger mare while also accepting defeat! Super noble.”

Applejack gritted her teeth into an angry, hidden grin. “Dash, I’m only gonna say this once… Back off. I treated a lotta mares like they were queens in my days, and Rarity will trample ya if ya say otherwise.”

“Oh? What’s that? It’s such a weird sound– It must be one of your chickens.” Rainbow unfurled her wings and made mocking gestures with them. “BOC-BOC-BKAAAAWWW!!”

“CONSARN IT!” She threw her hat in the ground angrily. “YA GO GET FLUTTERSHY, I’M GONNA GET RARITY, AND WE’LL SORT THIS OUT, YA VARMINT!!” Picking her hat back up, she gritted her teeth. “Then we meet back here.”

“HAH! Easy!” Flaring her wings, Rainbow prepared for flight. “And you’ll see I’m the best mare-lover in Ponyville– No, EQUESTRIA!!”

“Alright, alright, let’s settle this!” Applejack plopped Rarity before her as if she weighted as much as an apple. “Go on, Rarity, tell em’!”

“Hah! As if!!” Like a helicopter delivering a payload, Rainbow Dash deployed Fluttershy before them. “Go on, Flutters, wreck em!”

“Um… Darling, what?” Rarity raised a confused eyebrow.

“...Hi?” Fluttershy waved awkwardly.

“Ugh, c’mon Flutters!” Rainbow pouted. “Tell AJ and Rarity that I’m the best girlfriend ever!!”

“Um… Okay, that?” The shy pegasus nodded, with a shrug, then smiled at the other two. “She’s that!”

Rainbow facepalmed.

“C’mon Rares. Just clarify this for us. Rainbow says she’s the better mare-lover outta the two of us, and I say it’s me. Whadaya think?”

“Well, you’re obviously correct, dear. I can attest to that.” The Seamstress giggled, and kissed her on the cheek. “Is that all?”

“No, no no, that is NOT all!” The Pegasus fluttered her wings angrily. “Fluttershy just said I’m the best?! Hello?!” She shook her girlfriend. “C’mon, tell ‘em!!”

“Why yes Dashie, you’re a pretty amazing girlfriend!” Fluttershy smiled kindly, not sharing the angry energy of her partner. “Is that all?”

“No, that ain’t–” Applejack sighed, hiding her face under her hat. “...This is dumb. Obviously they’re gonna think we’re the best, this ain’t gonna achieve anythin’.”

“Ugh. You’re right. I hate ties” Rainbow pouted. “How could we make this work…? Eh, I guess we couldn’t. Sorry, girls–”

Suddenly they were all startled by the landing of Twilight Sparkle beside them, as the Princess looked around frantically. “S-sorry! Is there a friendship problem in Sweet Apple Acres?? The map just called me here…”

The four mares looked amongst each other, and Rainbow spoke first. “Eh, I don’t think so? Me and Applejack were trying to make arguments on which of us two is the best lesbian– Which of us treats our ladies better, y’know?”

“And of course, our girls both said we’re the best. So um, we ain’t accomplished anythin’. That’s all, Twi. False alarm on the map.”

“Hm... Makes sense it wouldn’t work.” Folding her wings close, the Princess scratched her own chin pensively. “Both Rarity and Fluttershy have a bias. The only way they’d get to have a more neutral stance and decide on the proper victor is if they actually tried to be with the other mare in question– Fluttershy and Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash.”

Silence.

Rainbow snickered with a stupid grin. “Okay. Can we do that? Is that okay? Please? I wanna win so bad.”

“Dash!” Applejack reprimanded. “Sorry girls. She ain’t got no sense of decorum.”

“Hm. I’m fine with it I think?” Fluttershy shrugged, with a flustered giggle. “I mean. If Rarity is. I think.”

A look of both concern and extreme expectation was delivered from the Farmer to the Seamstress.

“...Hm, sure why not.” She shrugged and smiled.

“W-what? Huh?!” Applejack’s eyebrows shot up as she nearly fell over. “Hangon, what exactly are ya agreein’ to?”

“To this fun little game of rotation!” She pointed at Rainbow and Fluttershy. “Let’s take each other's girlfriends for a spin, shall we?”

“N-now hangon just one darn minute, what’s this for?!”

“To find out who’s the best lesbian, duh.” Rainbow shrugged, already putting on a flirty look. “C’mon, your family’s outta town, right? Let’s use your place!”

“Slow down now–”

“Darling I am not in the mood for love-making in the barn today.” Rarity grimaced. “Especially if it’s not with you.”

With a sigh of defeat, the Farmer relinquished. “Alright, alright. Let’s go then, Fluttershy.” She spoke kindly, offering the pegasus a hoof, who she took giddily. “We’ll settle this lickedy-split and then we can go on our merry ways and not talk about this nonsense anymore!”

“Yeah! Because I'm gonna win!” Rainbow affirmed with unending confidence.

Applejack immediately turned to the other pegasus, with a warm smile. “Fluttershy, darlin.’ I’m gonna show ya the world, okay?”

“Okay, hihi!”

“H-hey!! Um–” Rainbow landed and turned to the seamstress. “Rarity! I’M gonna show YOU a great time!”

“Whatever you say, darling.”

With an awkward shrug, Twilight began turning around. “W-well, looks like the friendship problem is solved! I’m not needed here, goodbye! Haha–”

“--Your flank isn’t glowing, Twilight...” Fluttershy noted.

“Dangnabbit–” She gritted her teeth, huffing. “Do I really have to mediate this?!”

“You don’t see any other eggheads around, do you?”

“FINE! But I’m NOT watching you four do your… Things!!”

Rarity

“...Okay, okay.” Disgruntled, the Princess of Friendship already had a notepad in hoof. “State your name, your vote on which of those two is, in your opinion, the best ‘mare-lover’, and…” She groaned. “...Explain, extensively, why.”

“Oh that’s easy, darling. My vote remains on Applejack.” Rarity affirmed without skipping a beat. “For a multitude of reasons. For starters, I much prefer a strong partner, and our dear farm girl is the strongest there is. Through our many passionate bouts of love-making, It is quite easy to forget Equestria itself exists, and simply get lost in the gentle yet fierce tidal wave that is our–”

“Okay, but what about–”

“--And when we make love, our bed is a canvas, and oh, darling, we only paint masterpieces.” She beheld the horizon listless yet lovingly, cherishing each memory. “...Oh and I defy you to find a stallion more well-endowed than our dear Applejack. She puts them all to shame. Honestly, the girth alone–”

“RARITY–” Twilight called out in annoyance. “That’s enough detail! What about Rainbow Dash?!”

“What about her?”

”Dude!! C’mon!!”

”Hah! Suck a lemon, Rainbow!”

“Ugh, do you have anything to say about your experience with her? Y’know, instead of just bragging about AJ. For the sake of mediation.” The Princess frowned.

“Oh! Yes, hm…” She took a few seconds to ponder her answer. “After I convinced her to shower, she wasn’t so bad. A solid six. Maybe six-point-five, perhaps?”

AVERAGE??!! C’MON!!

“...Is that all?”

“Oh, I could explain more delicately what makes Applejack so good in the sack, if you’d like–”

“Fluttershy, you’re up next.”

”I can’t believe I showered for THIS!”

1 -AJ | RD- 0

Fluttershy

“Oh! I think my vote is still on Dashie!” Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “Applejack was really good though! Really sweet.”

“...I, unfortunately, have to ask that you go into more detail.”

“Well, Dashie is very… Obedient? And she is pretty gentle, no matter what she says. Oh, and I like the way she smells.” She blushed, giggling with delight. “Applejack was really nice, but it might be a personal preference… I prefer to be the bigger spoon, you know?”

“Wait, are you saying you’re the top–” The Princess shook her head. “--Actually I don’t want to know, forget I asked.”

“Well yes, I am! Why do you ask?” Fluttershy tilted her head quizzically. “Dashie is very brave, though!”

“What does that even– Nevermind, we’re settled.” The Princess made swift annotations, and turned to the others. “Okay, like I expected, we’re still tied. Friendship problem solved, can we go now??”

She turned to her cutie mark expectantly, and nothing happened.

She groaned.

“Dude, I’ve got an awesome idea.” Flapping her wings with excitement, Rainbow took flight. “We’ve got exes, and we’ve got a buncha mares interested in us, right? I’ll fly around and spread the word of this competition we’re doing and see who else is interested!”

“Dangit Rainbow, do we really gotta drag this out?!” Applejack huffed. “I might be with the Princess on this one. We tied! That’s all!”

“A tie is you forfeiting, dude!!” She pointed accusingly.

“Fuck it, let’s do it! Rares, Fluttershy, are ya both okay with this?”

“It sounds kind of fun! I’m pretty curious…!” The pegasus giggled.

“Element of generosity, darling. I don’t mind sharing you for an afternoon or so.” Rarity shrugged, but then came closer with a growl. “But after this debacle, you are mine.”

“Yes sugarcube! Sorry sugarcube!” She saluted with a fluster.

Twilight, once again, looked back, begging for her cutie mark to glow.

And nothing happened.

With a groan, she flipped to the next page of the notepad.

1 -AJ | RD- 1

Autumn Blaze

“...I gotta tell you, this was absolutely worth the commute. I mean, A trek through ravines, forests, a couple train rides, all for the sake of getting a chance to see Applejack’s muscles glistening in the light of the afternoon sun and even get to mack on her??? Oh yeah, I’m all in, in more ways than one, heheh!!”

“That’s great, that’s great–” Twilight noted unenthusiastically. “--But what’s your vote exactly?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, the blue pegasus has a nice musk to her, and her attitude is kind of fun, but you can’t beat that one-hundred-percent-original-earth-grown-farm-worker-scent, you know? Her honest streak isn’t just about the idea of honesty, but like– In her every movement, in her every gesture, you know? In her every thrust–”

“Okay, you’re voting for Applejack.” Frowning, She made the annotation. “Anything else?”

“Have you seen her crush a watermelon with her thighs?? Because she makes it look easy. And oh, it’s a sight to behold. And gosh, the handywoman-of-it-all– Right after she broke the bed, she was like ‘Don’t worry, I’ll get fixin’ it as soon as we’re done, Sugarcube, And ough, I swoon! She’s so helpful and strong, and so caring and hot and–”

2 -AJ | RD- 1

Spitfire

“My vote is for Rainbow Dash.” She stated simply, without even raising her aviator glasses. “Not only is she impeccably obedient and has perfect form, but just because she gets there first, it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to go the extra mile. She’s the pride of the Wonderbolts, and mine as well.”

“Thanks captain, you’re the best!!”

“...I’m almost surprised you didn’t comment on her smell.” Twilight sighed, defeated.

“What is there to say? That’s the smell of victory.” She affirmed with a grin.

“Damn right!!”

“Okay, for the record, what did you think of Applejack…?”

“Solid. Firm, and quite good. Impeccable strength, but strength isn’t everything. My vote stays the same.” She readied her wings, before shouting at Rainbow. “And all this fornicating better not keep you from practice tomorrow, Crash!!”

“Aye Captain!”

“Remember to hydrate, both of you. Wonderbolt Captain, out!”

2 -AJ | RD- 2

Lightning Dust

“I’m voting for the Farmer.” She said simply, narrowing her eyes.

“H-huh? Why?”

“Because I want Dash to lose.” She grinned.

“C’mon!!!”

“...You’ll have to go into more detail.”

“The Farmer is great. And Dash sucks.”

“You’ll have to go into detail, or your vote goes to Rainbow Dash.”

“Fuck.” She gritted her teeth, shaking her head. “Who cares if Dash has top form and is the only mare that can match my speed and raw agility? That doesn’t do shit. Her technique sucks and the sounds she makes are all dumb and cute. Also she smells nice.”

“...You’re voting for Rainbow Dash.”

“FUCK!” Lightning Dust took flight angrily. “YOU WIN THIS ROUND, ASSHAT!! I’LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!!”

“I love you too, jackass!!”

The trees around them shook with the force of Lightning Dust’s takeoff.

“Well, that was a weird one.” Twilight frowned and shrugged. “By the way, thanks for not letting Trixie participate, girls. Seriously.”

“Oh, it’s quite literally our pleasure, Twi.” Applejack grimaced.

“Yeah, um, that whole ‘don’t stick your dick in crazy’ thing isn’t a thing for no reason.” Dash shared the same expression. “At least she cried less than Discord when we turned him down.”

“I don’t care if he qualifies as a lesbian or not.” The Farmer frowned. “I ain’t fuckin’ him.”

“Ditto. Blergh.”

2 -AJ | RD- 3

Cherry Jubilee

“C’mon darlin’s… Is the formality necessary?” Cherry tilted her head with a kind, weary smile. “What’s there to say? Bein’ with AJ is like layin’ on a field in an autumn afternoon, bein’ pleased by the spirit of the seasons herself. Ain’t nothin more to it.”

“Poetic! Your vote is decided, then?”

“Oh, it was decided before I even walked in here, I’m not lyin’.” She chuckled and shrugged. “Not that the Rainbow one wasn’t good too– There just ain’t no comparin’. AJ knows how to treat a mare right, top to bottom, sure as an apple is juicy. Ya get what I mean, I’m sure.”

“I don’t, but thank you for your input.”

“Ain’t no worry. I’ll be makin’ my leave now– Ya call me if yer ever handin’ out yer fine ass again, will ya, AJ?”

“U-um! Sure? Bye, Cherry!”

“And tell that pegasus to shower once in a while!” She waved a hoof, and left.

“Goddamn. There goes a milf if I’ve ever seen one.” Rainbow watched her go listlessly, whistling. “Today is a momentous day…”

“Eyes on the prize, Dash. We’re still tied.”

“Psh. As if. We’re just getting started.”

Twilight looked crestfallen at the line that was forming outside of Sweet Apple Acres, and she came to the swift decision that they would need to start to demonstrate more scrutiny on who could or couldn’t participate in this insanity.

3 -AJ | RD- 3

Daring Do

“My vote’s on Rainbow Dash– And I promise I’m not biased on this–”

“...Famous words before a ‘but’”

“--But still, she’s one hell of a mare. Fast and agile, and has great stamina– A true Pegasus in every possible sense!” She spoke, almost rehearsed. “I’m glad I got to participate, and my vote goes to her. Yup.”

“WOOO!!”

“...Okay, but what about Applejack?”

“Oh, haha–” She flustered, fiddling with her wings. “Well, she was very strong, and super caring. Gentle when you ask her! But still, um, super soft, despite it all. I had a wonderful time. Honestly, I always wondered if I could ever retire, and um… If I could, I’d want it to be with a mare like her, maybe. That can take care of me when my own strength fails, you know? That I don’t have to carry the burden of adventure and… Every other adversity that comes in life.”

“...Sounds to me like you want to vote for Applejack.” Twilight narrowed her eyes.

“W-whatever makes you think that?!?!” Her fluster betrayed her plainly and openly.

“...Your vote is going to Applejack.” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“If it must!!!” Acting innocently, she fidgeted and began walking away. “Well, um, tell Dash I couldn’t stay haha– BYE!!”

“C’MON, SERIOUSLY?!”

“HAH! YER IDOL LIKES ME MORE, VARMINT!”

“I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

4 -AJ | RD- 3

Countess Coloratura

“You know, I was touring in Manehattan when I caught wind of this.” She spoke with a little grin, doing her makeup, eyeing a small mirror.

“O-oh gosh! I’m so sorry for getting you dragged into this when you had better things to do–”

“There’s nothing better to do than Applejack.” She smirked, tilting her head, closing the mirror. “I thought I had lost my chance with her a while ago– So it was worth it. I liked her since we were foals, but damn, to know that she can treat a girl this well now… Rarity’s a lucky mare.”

“A decisive vote, then!”

“More than decisive. She doesn’t just take care of you, y’know? Love making ain’t just about the act. It’s the before, middle, and the after. And oh, the after…” She gazed far, flustering. “...I think I’ll write a song about this. That’s how good this was.”

“W-wow! Okay then! Um…” Making some quick annotations, she then tilted head. “...What about Rainbow Dash?”

“She was fine, I guess. Do I need to get myself checked for any diseases? ‘Cause sheesh, the smell alone…”

“D-dude! I’m right here!”

5 -AJ | RD- 3

AK Yearling

“Hi, can I vote for Applejack–”

“H-HEY! No double voting!!”

“Haha but you see! It’s me, famous book author, AK Yearling! I haven’t voted yet!”

“Get out.”

“O-okay.”

Sunset Shimmer

“S-Sunset?! You’re in on this too?!” Twilight stuttered out, observing the unicorn top to bottom.

“C’mon, what’s wrong, Princess? I’m not always having classes. This is a perfect reason to take my time off and visit Equestria!” She grinned, tilting her head. “Besides, Applejack and Rainbow are great mares. I can’t help but be curious.”

“C-curious, okay, and you don’t share the sentiment with me that this is all absolutely deranged and a monumental waste of an afternoon?” She pouted.

“Says the mare that isn’t participating.” She winked. “Nah, don’t worry Princess, I get it. It is kind of dumb. But hey, when in the neighborhood...”

“W-whatever!” She blushed. “Ok, so, verdict? What’s your vote?”

“You know, this is gonna sound crazy, but I’m thinking Rainbow.” She pondered. “Don’t get me wrong, objectively, Applejack is definitely the best. But maybe it’s a matter of personal preference, I’m not sure I like going for mares bigger than me.”

“U-um–” The Princess was keenly aware of how the unicorn towered over her.

“Hey, big spoon all the way, you know? Anyways, I’ll see you around, remember to write! Tell me the outcome of this nonsense later, heh.”

“O-okay!”

5 -AJ | RD- 4

Tempest Shadow

“I believe my vote is for the big one.” She affirmed strongly, with narrowed eyes. “I value a strong partner that knows how to lead and is malleable towards needs and comforts. And what’s more, she is quite kind.”

“T-Tempest?!?!? You’re here too?!”

“Indeed, and taking part in this competition. Did it appear as I was doing something else here?” She raised a confused eyebrow.

“S-sorry, it’s just–” Laughing nervously, the Princess shook her head. “You came all the way from the Crystal Empire– I-I didn’t know you liked doing stuff like this.”

“I didn’t, before.” Her gaze went far. “But since the fall of the Storm King, I have been attempting to allow myself to have… Fun.”

“Like. By having sex?”

“That too.” She grinned.

“Dude did we deflower Tempest Shadow?!”

“You did no such thing!” She frowned. “I was reunited with a childhood friend a few months back– She has been an invaluable partner to me.”

“Oh yeah, Cadence told me about it– That you called her ‘Droopsy’ or something–”

“I must take my leave and reprimand the Princess of Love for sharing my personal life.” Tempest turned immediately.

“W-wait!! What did you think of Rainbow–”

“Irrelevant! Smells bad!”

6 -AJ | RD- 4

Princess Luna

“PRINCESS LUNA?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

“Getting laid. What does it look like??” She frowned, narrowing her eyes. “You’re not aware yet, Twilight, but as alicorns, it is incredibly hard for us to find partners– The social pressure to please us makes many be terrified– And others are just hubris-filled perverts.”

“Okay can we please talk about something else–”

“And you better not tell my sister about this. You know how she gets– She’s just mad she never gets any action.” Blowing raspberries, she rolled her eyes, with a little grin. “I am not upset, however. The fact that she is still a virgin is something I can endlessly mock her for–”

“--Please just cast your vote so we can be done with this.”

“Hm. I believe I will vote for the farmer. She is impeccably strong, and a mare fitting of my caliber… Much like her brother– I believe their strength of character, as well as their physical strength, makes them the ideal partners for an alicorn like me. Also, the Rainbow one smells odd.”

“You don’t say.” Twilight frowned, defeated.

“Nevertheless, this has been a wonderful and bountiful outing. I do not regret stopping by. Send your regards to your friends, Twilight.” With a delighted smile, she spread her wings, and flew away.

“Oh, for the love of–” She gritted her teeth, seeing the enormous line forming outside of Sweet Apple Acres. “That’s it!! All of you, get out of here!! As Princess of Friendship, I declare this pointless debacle SETTLED! APPLEJACK IS THE BEST LESBIAN OF EQUESTRIA– Or whatever it is that were the parameters of this!!”

“H-HEY!!” Rainbow flew to her, undignified. “W-what the heck, man!! You can’t just decide she’s the best?!”

“I can and I have– besides, the votes actually support her, on average she’s absolutely beating you.” She groaned. “So just accept defeat, so that we can all go home!!”

“Oh, nuh-uh, no way! The Dash doesn’t go down like this–” She landed right in front of Applejack, gritting her teeth. “One more challenge, you versus me, AJ, right here, right now! We’ll see who the best mare lover is, once and for all!!”

Tilting her head and grinning, Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Really, Dash? Yer gettin’ desperate. This ain't a fight you’ll win.”

“Oh what’s that? What’s that sound I hear??” The Pegasus readied herself for rude gestures and chicken noises, but she never had the chance, because the Farmer pounced on her.

A lot is said about that day.

It is said, for example, that Rainbow Dash asked for ‘best two out of three’.

It is also said she then asked ‘best three out of five’.

It is said that it took her three days to walk again.

It is said that a crater was formed on the orchard they made love in– One she laid at the bottom for a few hours before anypony dared move her.

It is said that as she laid on that crater, Twilight’s cutie mark finally glowed.

It is said, indeed, that she could not fly for a week after, and that Spitfire was justifiably annoyed.

Many things are said about that day. One thing was for certain– Applejack had officially gained the unofficial title of the greatest lesbian in Equestria.

And of course, it is also said, that after the debacle was long and settled, Rainbow Visited Sweet Apple Acres again.

And told Applejack ‘best five out of ten’.

Author's Note

"Guys, I'm starting to think she's not asking for a rematch just to try to win. I'm starting to think she's not a sore loser, she just wants to get fucked by AJ"

I forgot the wings on the art above and I don't care :rainbowlaugh:

I hope ya'll cherish this bc its the closest to AppleDash I'm ever gonna write lmao.

Fun fact this entire fic stemmed entirely from an idea delivired in a single discord conversation. literally just "Yeah if they love competing so much why not compete to see whos the best lesbian?"

Speaking of discord

Yeah no I don't care if he's a lesbian or not, we hate him and are not fucking him

And of course Rainbow cums fast, she's the fastest mare in Equestria, duh?!

Yeah this is what I'm doing when taking breaks from the shimmerverse lmao. The next chapter is coming soon, and I think i'll take breaks inbetween them to write more goofy-ass one shots like these!

Imma be honest this fic could have gone for a lot longer. You could add a couple dozen side characters more trying to get laid with these two lesbians, but I figured that after Princess Luna shows up, Twilight's patience is thin enough and she has to end it, lmao. No sense in milking this forever!

Also to those that don't know (and you should!) Tempest has a few comic appearances, and on issue #67 and beyond, she meets up with one of her childhood friends again, one that was present when she lost her horn, and hit it off. Their chemistry is actually really damn nice and cute! And implies Tempest gets pegged xD but that's a story for another time.

They're really cute, and I appreciate them, and they're such an obscure ship despite the fact that its supported by canon in the comics of them living together and even having petnames for each other. Maybe I'm just thinkin of this bc of Forgotten Sun 2, lol. But still. They're lovely!

But I digress, this fic ain't about that. It's about these two competing.

And yeah. I think that Applejack is the superior lesbian, maybe the superiorest lesbian ever. Don't @ me.