This Is Awkward

Celestia propped her head up with a hoof as she levitated another grape to her mouth, idly reading the newspaper in front of her, her eyes scanning the pages half heartedly.

“Oh, this article by the Canterlot Daily is interesting,” Celestia cleared her throat, Luna and Lemon Hearts looking up at her as Lemon Hearts refilled their coffee mugs. “Princess Celestia’s prized daughter seen having lunch with a mystery mare at a expensive restaurant in Canterlot. Even made the second page.”

“Fascinating,” Luna remarked and smirked slightly at her sister. “You should go check an article on the fourth page. It’s very good.” Celestia raised an eyebrow slightly, but complied as she read.

“Princess Celestia: Ruler of Equestria or Ruler of the baked goods aisle?” Celestia glanced at Luna and rolled her eyes as she gave a dry laugh. “Haha, very funny.”

“We found it hilarious,” Luna shot back and stifled a giggle behind a hoof.

Lemon Hearts wisely decided to stay quiet as she levitated some plates onto a cart. Somethings were best to not speak up about.

“Oh, hey there’s another about our niece,” Luna noted and she levitated the paper up. “Daughter of Princess Celestia and niece to Princess Luna dating a fellow element of harmony?”

“I highly doubt that. Sunset has never really showed an interest in any stallion or mare,” Celestia commented and Lemon snorted. “What was what about?”

“N-nothing,” Lemon scuffed a hoof against the crystal floor anxiously. “Nothing at all.”

The two alicorns stared at her long enough to make the yellow unicorn mare sweat slightly. There was nothing more paranoid than having two immortal rulers of Equestria staring you down.

“You know something,” Luna remarked and folded her paper. “And you also knew Sunset was here even when we didn’t and we live here.”

“Okay, maybe I knew something,” Lemon Hearts chewed on her lower lip. “And Spike. And Twilight. And Moondancer. And a few other royal guards. I may also know a little bit about Sunset’s potential love life.”

“Do tell,” Celestia crossed her forelegs on the table. “Please?”

A chair was pulled out with a golden glow and Lemon Hearts sat down nervously. It wasn’t often the hired help in the castle often was allowed to sit at a table with the two royal sisters.

“Alright, so it’s like this, alright?” Lemon Hearts tapped a hoof on the table. Celestia wagged a hoof in the air for her to continue. “My cutie mark does this thing when I’m around ponies who love each other. It’s actually quite annoying, to be honest-”

“Today, please,” Luna cut her off and Celestia glared at her sister.

“Shut up, Luna,” Celestia rolled her eyes and Lemon Hearts gasped as Celestia turned to her. “Feel free to tell my baby sister to shut up whenever you want.”

Luna grumbled and looked away, something about being only two years younger or something.

“I uh can’t do that,” Lemon Hearts stammered and gulped, licking her lips. “Anyway, I do some side work for Princess Cadence. She uses me occasionally for help here and there.”

“I’ve heard glowing reviews from her personally about your performance. Carry on,” Celestia said and slid a plate of blueberry danishs to Lemon Hearts.

“Thank you, your majesties. Anyway, as soon Sunset and Silverspeed came near me, I immediately knew they were into each other. I’ve been spending the last three days shadowing them with Spike, gathering their interests to see if they would make a move on each other but they haven’t. It’s annoying!” Lemon Hearts flung her forelegs up, angrily munching on her danish. “Huh, not bad.”

“That would be my fault. I never really talked to her about dating much. I do remember trying to hook you, her, Twinkleshine and Minuette up,” Celestia said casually and made eye contact with Lemon Hearts. “I also remember hearing a rumor about a wild foursome between you mares, though I could never confirm it. I do not judge who my little ponies love, so you aren’t in any trouble.”

“Thank the gods for that,” Lemon Hearts sighed in relief and Celestia giggled. “I thought for sure you’d kill me or us all. I’m sorry, Princess. Sunset specifically requested I keep her being here quiet. It was originally to keep the media away from her and Silverspeed, but apparently that failed.”

“You have nothing to apologize, my little pony,” Celestia reassured her and Luna nodded her agreement. “Which is why I am asked you to go with Sunset to Ponyville today when she and Silverspeed heads home.”

“I’m sorry?” Lemon Hearts raised an eyebrow slowly. “All due respect, your majesty but I can’t. My post is here in your kitchen.”

“Not always,” Luna corrected and rested a hoof on the table. “Thou are much more than just a aide and a baker. Thee play a pivotal role in the castle.”

Lemon Hearts blushed slightly and made a circle with her hoof.

“You can say no,” Celestia looked at her. “But you are talented, Lemon Hearts. And I trust you to make my daughter happy. And I’ve met Silverspeed multiple times. I trust her with my daughter. So please, consider going to Ponyville with her and Spike. The Crown will pay for your hotel room and food. If needed, I’ll send a royal guard to protect you.”

Lemon Hearts sat silently as she licked the blueberry off her lips. It was almost as good as lemon. Almost.

“I’ll go to Ponyville,” Lemon Hearts decided and shrugged. “With Spike. He should be enough. And besides, Lyra lives in Ponyville. She should have a spare room so the Crown should save a few bits.”

“Thank you, Lemon Hearts,” Celestia bowed her head respectfully and Lemon Hearts smiled at her.

“As you wish.”

“This is such a cute little town,” Lemon Hearts gushed as she stood in the center of Ponyville looking around. “I mean, Canterlot is busy and all, but this is a refreshing change of pace, right Spiky?”

“It’s unique, that’s for damn sure,” Spike agreed and Lemon Hearts shot him a look. “What?”

“No cursing.”

“Oh, come on,” Spike whined and hugged her leg. “I can’t curse, but you allow me to do other grown up stuff like kiss you. I’m twenty, remember?”

“Fair, but I don’t like cussing. You know this,” Lemon Hearts reminded him and Spike opened his mouth. “The other day was an accident. Don’t start, lover boy. And keep this up, you won’t be getting any goodnight kisses.”

Spike shivered slightly and Lemon Hearts hugged him back with a smile, rubbing his back with a hoof.

“But maybe not. Let’s go find Lyra. She will be over the moon,” Lemon Hearts winked. “And you get to meet Liza. She’s a hoofful.”

“Oh boy.”

“She’s a wonderful little ball of energy.”

Little ball is an understatement, Lemon Hearts mused internally as she levitated Spike onto her back.

She just hoped she would at least get some sleep today.