Slay the Alicorn Princess

"I am so dumb," a new voice says.

"Who are you?" you ask.

"I am you," the voice says, with a tinge of peevishness.

"Excuse me?" you say. "I already have a clumsy voice claiming to be part of me."

"And so am I," the voice says, with imperious finality.

"Do you have a name other than my own?"

"I do," the voice says.

"And it is..."

"I don't think you deserve the honor of having it shared with you," it says.

"Great," the narrator speaks up. "Let's move on from inane things and get on with slaying the princess."

"You're not going to give me an introduction?" you say.

The narrator grunts. "I am... I can sense something is off. You should not hear other 'voices'. Just me."

"You're awful," the unidentified voice sneers.

"You sound mighty irritated, but I do not rightly care," the narrator says. "My hero needs to go slay a princess before she ends the world."

"I am irritated!" the unidentified voice says, with a sneer.

"How about we call you... the voice of the irritated?" the voice of the clumsy suggests.

"Whatever," the voice of the irritated says with a verbal shrug.

"Get on now to the cabin."

"Don't wanna," the voice of the irritated says.

"We really shouldn't," the voice of the clumsy says.

"If you try to get away, you'll walk around in a circle and be right back where you started," the narrator warns.

"You lie!" the irritated insists.

"We can trust the narrator... somewhat," you say.

"You are a fool," the irritated replies. "You trusted the narrator and tried to slay the princess again and again and it didn't get you anywhere good. Try something else."

"Will you stop being obnoxious if I show you that walking away will not work?" you say.

"Fine!" the irritated lies.

You sigh and make the circuit and you end up back where you started.

"We just need to overcome the narrator's magic," the voice of the irritated asserts--shockingly in a strident rather than a peeved voice.

"I don't have any counter-magic, or any magic for that matter."

"Then... die and shatter into another voice. Maybe that one will have magic."

"I don't think that's how this works," you say.

"Yeah," the voice of the clumsy sighs. "You can't always get what you want."

"Ready to move it on?" the narrator asks.

"I hear you," you sigh and comply. You travel the path, through the woods, to the cabin and go inside.

The cabin's interior is a mess: a destroyed table in one corner, a smashed mirror in the other.

"Pick up the dagger and go downstairs," the narrator says.

You look around and, as you expected: "There's no dagger."

"You expected that?" the narrator asks. "You're entering my narrative? No. No. Can't be. Since there's no dagger, use the table legs to beat her--"

"The table's destroyed." Even its legs are beaten into uselessness.

"As useless as your advice, narrator," the voice of the irritated says.

"--And the mirror's shattered."

"What mirror?" the narrator asks.

"Whaaaaattt mirror--blah--blah--blah, blind ignoramus," the voice of the irritated mocks.

You look in the mirror and see yourself: reptillian eyes, claws, scales, spikes. You almost hit on some understanding--some memory, but then the narrator speaks up and the memory eludes you.

"Go on, go on, if you're already hearing several voices then we don't have much time. You have to slay the princess and do it yourself. It was a mistake to use implements--what I was thinking. Actually," the narrator pauses. "I think I know what I was thinking, but it was wrong. And you are a sort of implement yourself..."

"You're certain I can succeed."

"You have to succeed," the narrator says. "Our time is almost up. We're... running out of worlds."

"I propose an alternative," the voice of the irritated says.

"Yes?" you ask.

"Kill yourself."

"What?"

"Do something unexpected. Kill yourself."

"I don't know about that. Suicide is sort of final."

"Do you want to keep failing to slay the princess and failing to reach a resolution?"

"But I feel... each time, the situation becomes more clear. I feel like I am learning something... about myself. I see more in the mirror each time," you say.

"It's painful... dying, but if it has to happen..." the voice of the clumsy says.

"Good," the voice of the irritated says.

"I meant," the voice of the clumsy says. "Maybe we should slay the princess again? Give it one last, good shot. I can't always trip over myself and die, right?"

"The chances are infinitesimal... but in an infinite number of universes..." the narrator sighs.

The voice of the irritated scoffs. "Take control of your destiny. End this. Kill yourself."

GoTo:
A. Do "Something Unexpected" (Kill Yourself).

B. Slay the Princess.