Pinkie vs big meanies

by Babycord

Rating: everyone
Tags: Second Person, Comedy, Random, Equestria Girls, Main 6
Length: 1058

A pie's love for whales

She wasn't just gonna stand there and do nothing no sir!

So she took matters into her own hands.

Published 2024-11-11 23:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-11 23:10:00 UTC

A whale of a time

It was a calm afternoon at Canterlot High, until Rainbow Dash’s phone buzzed with a notification. A text from Twilight Sparkle popped up.

Twilight: Has anyone seen Pinkie today? I haven’t heard from her at all, and I texted her three times about the new recipe for sugar-free cupcakes. She’s never ignored me this long!

Rainbow Dash: Weird. She didn’t come to band practice yesterday, either. Maybe she’s on a secret donut raid.

Applejack: Ah don’t know, y’all. Last time Pinkie didn’t show up, she was too busy plantin’ a surprise garden for Mr. Cranky Doodle. Nearly gave him a heart attack when he found his truck covered in flowers.

Rarity: And he’s still cleaning petals out of the engine. But yes, it’s rather unusual for Pinkie to vanish like this.

They texted back and forth, each one concocting wilder theories about their friend’s absence, until finally, the phone started ringing. Rainbow Dash pressed “Answer,” immediately putting it on speaker for the group to hear.

"Hello, Pinkie?” Twilight called, trying to mask the worry in her voice.

“Hi girls!” Pinkie’s voice burst through the speaker, loud and chaotic, mixed with the sounds of crashing waves and screaming seagulls. “I’m fine! I’m on a BOAT!”

"A boat?" Rarity exclaimed, completely horrified. “Pinkie, boats are filled with… with saltwater and… fish scales! What on earth are you doing on a boat?”

"Oh, you know," Pinkie said breezily, though the crashing waves and what sounded like a shouting sailor suggested otherwise. “Just stopping a little whaling operation! Nothing major. Just a little ol’ rescue mission!”

There was a collective pause.

Rainbow Dash snickered, “Pinkie, you’re on a whaling ship? Like, with real sailors who hunt whales?”

“Yes! Well, formerly whale-hunters. I’m working on converting them. It’s like I always say, ‘Save the whales! Don’t make them wail!’”

"Pinkie!" Twilight’s voice was shrill. “That is highly illegal! Not to mention dangerous!"

“Oh, Twilight, don’t worry!” Pinkie sounded almost insulted. “Captain Codfish is totally harmless. He just yells a lot and doesn’t like glitter. That’s his problem, not mine!”

Twilight blinked at her friends. “She’s calling the captain Codfish?”

“Pinkie, I don’t think you can just convince a captain to stop whaling,” Applejack said with a sigh. “Folks don’t just up and change their ways ‘cause of some balloons.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised!” Pinkie chirped. “These guys are totally getting into the spirit of Whale Appreciation Week!”

“Whale… appreciation… week?” Rarity’s voice echoed back, incredulous.

“Yup! I brought party supplies, streamers, and even a piñata shaped like a whale! Which was a huge hit by the way. Well, mostly. The captain just glared, but Salty Steve laughed. I think he’s warming up to the whales. I call him my Whale Bestie now.”

“Pinkie, just… just what exactly are you doing out there?” Twilight asked slowly.

“Oh, you know, just a few minor things, like making them put away the harpoons and start chanting my Whale Love Song! It goes like this: ‘Whales are big, whales are blue, if I were a whale, I’d be your friend too!’” Pinkie sang at the top of her lungs, her voice growing louder as a crowd of grumbling sailors in the background mumbled the tune back to her.

Rainbow Dash burst out laughing. “You’re making the crew sing your song?”

“Of course! It’s motivational,” Pinkie said. “Besides, Captain Codfish only yelled at me twice about it today, which is like… a record low.”

“Pinkie!” Twilight scolded. “You can’t just take over a whaling ship!”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Twilight! I didn’t take it over. I just… rearranged their priorities. Now everyone’s part of the Whale Fan Club!”

Rarity covered her mouth in horror. “You’ve decorated a whaling ship? Pinkie, are there glitter and balloons?”

"Everywhere!” Pinkie sounded thrilled. “And they loved my big speech! Salty Steve told me I was the ‘pinkest menace he’d ever seen.’ I’m pretty sure that’s a compliment.”

Applejack covered her face with her hat, groaning. “Oh brother. And here I thought the time you ‘renovated’ Granny’s barn was bad…”

The next day, Pinkie’s voice came through the phone sounding particularly upbeat.

“Hi, girls! Great news! Captain Codfish has agreed to a little compromise. He said if I could get through one whole day without gluing glitter to anything, he’d let me host a Whale Talent Show!”

The Equestria Girls collectively gasped. Rainbow laughed, “Pinkie, that’s amazing! But… how are you gonna make it a whole day without glitter?”

“Oh, don’t worry! I’ve got tons of other stuff: markers, stickers, even some glow-in-the-dark paint for the nighttime Whale Dance Party!”

“Pinkie,” Twilight tried to sound calm, “are you… is this safe?”

“Totally! The captain just gave me my own little corner to work in. I think it’s because my song got stuck in his head. He kept muttering, ‘Whales are big, whales are blue…’ So, technically, I think he’s a fan now!”

The girls burst out laughing, each imagining a grumpy sailor muttering whale chants under his breath.

Pinkie, oblivious, continued, “And tonight, we’re having a Whale Trivia Contest! Whoever wins gets a cupcake. I even made fish-shaped ones, which, okay, didn’t look exactly like fish, but Captain Codfish ate one! And I’m sure he liked it because he only yelled a little.”

As Pinkie chattered on about her plans to “convert” the entire crew, Twilight and the others listened in disbelief, barely able to keep from laughing as they imagined Pinkie’s whirlwind of cheer and glitter onboard a rough whaling ship.

A few days later, Pinkie called with exciting news.

“Guess what, girls? Captain Codfish says he’s officially converted! He even made a speech about how we’re now a whale-watching ship! I’m SO proud of him.”

“Pinkie, how… how did you actually pull this off?” Twilight asked, utterly baffled.

“Oh, easy-peasy! I just told him that loving whales is like loving cupcakes: you can never get too much! He seemed to think that was pretty reasonable. And I may have slipped in a few glitter-covered ‘Whale Bestie’ badges as souvenirs. Now, I’m coming home with a whole bunch of new friends, ready to celebrate with a Whale Appreciation Party!”

As the girls listened, they could hear the distant cheers of the crew in the background, chanting along to Pinkie’s Whale Love Song.