Furniture Shopping

by Rat Smacker

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 5886

James needs a new sofa for his living room. Fortunately, there's an IKEA just on the other side of town.

IKEA is not known for having the highest quality furniture, nor is it known for being a "normal" furniture store. One man leaves his house on a sunny afternoon in search of a new sofa and sets his sights on the strange Swedish store, perhaps hoping to grab lunch in the food court while he's there. A simple enough outing with little or no room for disaster. Right?

Published 2024-11-15 22:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-15 22:00:02 UTC

What The Hell is a "Klippan", Anyway?

Today's the day.

I woke up bright and early on my second day off. Twelve thirty in the afternoon counted as early, right? Anyway, today was Tuesday, or the second day of my "weekend". My work schedule was weird, and my friends never seemed to be able to comprehend it, but I liked it. It meant that trips like the one I had planned for today were so much less of a headache.

Rolling out of bed, I held up a hand to shield my eyes from the bright glow of sunlight filtering in past my blinds. There were a couple of slats missing from the old thing, and it probably wouldn't hurt to add it to the list of things to replace sooner rather than later. Still, that wasn't what I was leaving the house for today. After I finished my morning hygiene routine and threw on a T-shirt and some jeans, I stepped out into the living room to get a look at my real enemy.

There, against the back wall, sat the sorry excuse for seating that had once been my sofa. It had served me well for I-don't-know-how-long, and two nights ago it finally gave up the ghost. Actually, considering I bought it used from some old lady, it may have actually given up more than one ghost. She was creepy. But I'm getting sidetracked again. I was too busy to go hunting for a replacement the last two days, and I knew I had to do it soon before I convinced myself that sitting on a sofa with only two legs and a broken frame was good enough. Money was tight, so that ruled out any fancy new pieces from the high-dollar stores across town...

But that didn't rule out cheap stuff. I didn't want to buy used again, given the fate this couch suffered, and my budget only left me with one option. Mixed in with those expensive, hoity-toity furniture stores was a legendary place that was the subject of jokes and curiosity the world over - IKEA. They may not have the finest reputation when it comes to the quality of their actual products, but I wasn't looking for something I could turn into an heirloom. Plus, once thoughts of breakfast came to mind, their food court didn't sound like a bad idea either. I pulled out my phone while I was still standing in my living room and took a few pictures, if only to get a better gauge of the space and atmosphere I was working with before I bought anything. Sure, I lived here, so I should know that sort of thing already, but it helped to have notes. Finally, I stepped up and decided to try my hand at removing the broken sofa that currently dominated the room.

It didn't take long for me to change my mind on that one.

Ancient as it was, the thing was built from hardwood and it was built to last; the fact that it weighed a million pounds was just a side effect. I sputtered and strained as I tried to heave the thing up from where it lay on the floor, but it just wasn't happening. I'd have to call a friend to come by and help - hell, probably more than one friend. Until then, it was just going to have to stay put and I'd have to deal with not being able to assemble whatever replacement I picked up. A quick glance at the clock revealed that I'd already wasted nearly an hour since getting out of bed, and I damn sure didn't want to get caught in rush hour traffic on the way home. With my destination picked out, all I had to do was hurry my ass outside and hop in my truck. A little pickup truck like mine wasn't exactly the ideal furniture hauler, but it would get the job done.

It wasn't until I was turning on the engine that I realized I didn't quite know how to get to IKEA, seeing as I'd never actually visited the place despite it being open for years. Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone again and punched in the name of the store for Google to figure out.

Once I had my directions, and once I'd finished fighting with the stupid cheap-o phone mount I got for Christmas a few years ago, I was able to start my adventure for real. All I had to worry about on the way was dodging impatient drivers on their way to a late lunch, and that was a skill I'd honed down to an art ages ago.

Aside from some brief weirdness with the GPS rerouting me on the way and taking me down a road I didn't recognize, my trip to IKEA was surprisingly uneventful. Traffic was even lighter than I anticipated for a Tuesday, but that only seemed like a good sign to me. Soon enough, the big blue building was dominating the view through my windshield and looming over the parking lot. I know it's a little silly, but great big buildings like that always felt intimidating - the bright colors helped make it seem more friendly, at least.

Setting aside my childish fear, I found a parking spot and made my way to the front doors. Strangely, there didn't seem to be anybody else around. The parking lot was mostly empty, as I'd expected, but there were a few cars parked around. Still, after heading inside, I was greeted by an empty shopping area.

Okay, not empty, there was furniture, but no shoppers. Walking around at a leisurely pace, I also noted that there weren't any employees either. The first section I found myself in was full of desks and office chairs. Not even remotely close to what I was looking for, but I found my eye drawn to them anyway. The prices weren't bad, but a lot of the tables on offer seemed a little flimsy for my tastes. Besides, my desk at home served me fine enough.

I was feeling thoroughly weirded out after just a minute or two, and I hadn't even done any of the shopping I had planned on doing. In fact, I was just about to turn tail and get back to my truck when a loud female voice from behind made me just about jump out of my skin. I wasn't sure what exactly she said, but it sounded like someone with a speech impediment trying to say 'hey there'. I spun around on the spot, equal parts relieved to hear that I wasn't alone and spooked by someone sneaking up on me.

Then, once I looked where I thought the voice came from, I was back to just being spooked. Nothing was behind me except rows of strangely named desks and a few out-of-place chairs.

"Down here!" The voice repeated, this time speaking more clearly but in slightly accented English. I flinched again as I finally looked, and then... then I was looking at a horse. Small, unnaturally brightly colored, and clad in the cutest little uniform I'd ever seen. The cuteness didn't outweigh the weirdness of everything else, but it was there. She even had a little nametag, 'Målskytt'. I could only think of one thing to say.

"What?"

"I said 'hej där'," she answered, repeating the weird phrase from before as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and that I wasn't having some kind of fever dream right now. "And then you got all scared, and you turned around and didn't see me! Can I help you find anything? I saw you looking over some of these office chairs a minute ago."

I looked back at the row of chairs I'd absent-mindedly spun around, leaving all of them cockeyed instead of pushed in neatly like they were supposed to be. Whoops. Still, making a bit of a mess was the least of my concerns. Since when did something like this exist - let alone having IKEA hire one? "Sorry, I mean, what?!" I repeated, probably unhelpfully, whilst gesturing at the little horse with both hands. She didn't seem to get it.

"Oh! I'm new here, if that's what you're asking. I'm Målskytt, and this is my area of expertise," she said, raising one foreleg and indicating the department we were both standing in. I glanced around too, as if I hadn't been fully aware of where we were, and I had to just shrug.

"You're telling me. Are you the only, uh... one like you?" I asked, trying my best not to sound like I was discriminating. Could you even be racist to a talking horse? Thankfully, Målskytt didn't seem to take offense.

"Nope! In fact, I'll bet the other mare in my department is on her way over here right... about... now."

"Hälsningar," a new, more monotone voice announced from behind me as if on cue. I was prepared this time, but it still frightened me. Looking back - and down - I saw another little horse standing just a little too close for comfort. Compared to Målskytt's bright white fur and blue mane, this one was grey with a silvery mane. Her nametag said Malm. "Do you need help with him?" she asked, leaning around me to address the first horse.

"We're fine! He just seems confused, is all. Isn't that right, mister... uh... what's your name?" Målskytt answered, putting the spotlight back onto me.

"James, and I'm not confused, I'm just... well, okay, I am confused, but not about the store. You guys both realize how weird this is, right? It isn't just me that isn't used to having a little Swedish horse introduce itself?" I asked, before taking one more glance around. Then it finally struck me when my eyes happened to pass over a price tag on a nearby desk. It was a smaller one with an attached cabinet, but most importantly, its name matched the one on Malm's tag!

Unfortunately, I didn't get to point out that little revelation before Malm spoke up again. "Some of us have worked here for years. Have you only ever come here with your eyes closed or something?"

"Okay, rude," I began, feeling just the slightest bit hurt by her accusation. It was kind of funny, at least. "And I've never been in here to begin with, closed eyes or otherwise, so cut me some slack. Can you at least point me toward the sofas? I'm looking for something to replace a broken one back home."

Malm opened her mouth to respond in the same monotone voice as before, but Målskytt beat her to it. "Oh, oh oh! I know where they are! If you cut through the area for bedroom furniture, and then through the bookcases, you should be in the right place."

"Uh... right. Thanks, Mall-skeet? Sorry, I dunno Swedish," I said, offering the little horse an apologetic shrug. She just grinned and nodded, raising a hoof and tilting it left and right in what I could only assume was a 'close enough' gesture. With that mystery solved, not to mention the dozen new ones floating around in my head, I gave both employees one last nod before quickly walking away and leaving them among their desks and chairs.

I wasn't really listening as I left, but I swore I heard Malm say something to the effect of 'blockhead'. At least Målskytt got a giggle out of it.

I quickly weaved my way past a couple of displays full of little glass jars and decorative bottles before I found myself among the numerous display rooms that were set up to show off IKEA furniture working together in a 'realistic space'. Most of the rooms seemed bland to my eyes, but I'm sure someone would've been all over having an entire bedroom full of nearly identical, squared-off, white furniture. They even had fake books and other random odds and ends scattered around to make things seem more real, but I realized most of them were screwed or zip-tied down after trying to pick up a hat on a rack.

Just as I was passing by a room that I could only describe as 'holy-shit-that's-green', another voice came from out of nowhere and tried to give me a heart attack. That would've been an impressive feat considering I'm not even twenty-five, but these little horses are pushing it. This time it was a slightly gruff-looking pony standing across the aisle from me and greeting me the same non-english-speaking way Målskytt had a few moments ago, and I looked over to see her in the middle of reorganizing a display dining set. Her dark green fur and pale brown mane were a tiny bit closer to what I'd consider normal for a horse, but still not there.

"Sorry, I wasn't listening. Is something up?" I asked, stepping away from the wardrobe I'd been about to open for no reason other than because I could.

"No. I was asking if you needed anything, or if you were just touching everything for fun," she explained. Her nametag said Storklinta. Did all of these horses have an attitude problem, or was I really being that much of a nuisance? Still, it was another one, and this one seemed more... mature, somehow, than the last two. Maybe she'd be able to clear things up.

"Now that I think about it, I actually could use some help," I said, pretending not to notice the sigh from Storklinta as she stepped away from the chair she was moving with her hooves and toward me. "Not with any furniture, I already know what I'm looking for. Just, what exactly are you? And the one named Malm a few rows back, and her friend with the name I can't pronounce? How am I only just now hearing about little, colorful horses that talk and apparently work retail?"

"First of all, ponies, not horses." Okay, sure. Whatever. Storklinta wasn't done though, and she seemed to realize what I was thinking when she rolled her eyes before continuing. "You could have just asked Malm. She's smarter than the newbie, anyway. But since you apparently didn't think of that, we all work here. You know, uniforms and nametags? We don't just wear them for fun, and we all like having money. That answer your questions?"

"I could go without the attitude from someone who looks like they'd be a prop at a little kid's birthday party, but yes," I snarked, unable to stop myself from grinning when Storklina scowled at me for the comment. "So you're all little ponies who work at IKEA, and you all speak Swedish, and you all happen to have names that match the things in the department you specialize in? Am I getting all of that right?"

"Sure are. You want a cookie?" Storklina snarked right back, surprising me a little. That made her grin just as much as I had a moment ago. So she can play ball.

"Oh, can I have chocolate chip?" I asked, with exaggerated excitement.

"Yeah, if you go to the food court and leave me alone," Storklina deadpanned right back. I couldn't help but grin again.

"You're no fun. Seriously though, thanks for the clarification... I guess? This all still feels like some kind of weird dream. How have I never heard of you ponies before now?"

"Don't get out much, do you? We've been here for five years at the least, I think it's on you for not picking up on it by now," Storklina retorted, before turning to go back to what she'd been doing before I interrupted. "Anyway, I'm behind as it is. Go find whatever it is you were looking for and let me finish setting up these new displays."

I stood and watched for a few seconds, but the little mare was quick to notice. She looked back over her shoulder with a frown and made a shooing motion with one hoof, and I saw no reason to hang around and continue pissing her off. Instead, I turned to continue my course and eventually found myself walking among the miniature maze made up of bookcases and standing shelves. They were laid out in rows with room to walk around them, but I got the feeling I wasn't supposed to cut between them.

I just followed the path, now on alert and looking out for whatever pony was going to jump out and greet me next. I was beginning to wonder if anyone was working this particular section when I finally spotted her just seconds before she saw me anyway. She was cutting between aisles just like I had been hesitant to do, but she seemed to have an easier time of it thanks to being so small. She poked her head out just a few wardrobes ahead of me, grinning and waving one forehoof in greeting.

"Another one," I mumble, trying my best not to sound too impatient. "Just passing through, sorry. No bookcases or other big stuff for me, thanks."

"Aww," the little mare whined, stepping out in front to block my path. "Are ya sure? These are a really good deal!"

Great. First they were irritated, now they're irritating. I tried my best to smile as I stepped to the side to get around her, but the mare just mirrored me and stayed in my way. 'Nordkisa', as her nametag read, was also apparently unique. The other three ponies I met so far were pretty standard in terms of appearance, aside from the crazy colors, but this one featured a horn on her head. I was being pressured to buy a bookcase by an honest-to-God unicorn. Was I high?

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm here for a sofa. I don't have room for a new bookshelf in my living room even if I did want one," I explained, stepping to the opposite side and moving forward. Naturally, Nordkisa mirrored me again and backed up to keep me from simply stepping over her.

"No space in your living room, but what about your bedroom? Or do you have a home office? Maybe a basement? You've gotta have room for one of these somewhere!" To emphasize how great these bookcases were, Nordkisa finally stepped out of my way and shut her eyes as if focusing on something. I was rooted in place by the strange display, watching her drop into a new stance as if she were about to lift a nearby shelf with her hooves. What happened instead was a glowing field of some sort enveloping her horn... then the bookshelf... then, it started to levitate off the ground right in front of me. I was definitely high.

Nordkisa levitated her shelf of choice into the middle of the path, standing it up right in front of me, and let go of it. Then she stepped up and peeked around one side, looking up at me with a hopeful smile. "Look at this one! It's the perfect height, and I think it suits you! They're cheap as can be, and these ones have the cutest name. See?" Nordkisa's horn glowed again, and I just stared as she levitated over something else. The price tag floated up for me to read, even if the shimmering field of... magic? Whatever it was, made it difficult to see clearly that it said 'Billy'. "His name is Billy!" Nordkisa announced, in case I wasn't able to read.

"I don't want a damn bookshelf!" I finally answered, raising my voice just a hair. The store was quiet to begin with, but I could've heard a pin drop in the silence that followed. Way to go, me.

"Oh," Nordkisa mumbled, shrinking back and hiding halfway behind the shelf. "That's okay. Maybe next time? They're really nice..."

I knew exactly what she was doing. The guilt-tripping was as transparent as it could get, and it was honestly deplorable. What was even worse was the fact that it was working. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, turning away from the pathetic display, and held up my other hand. "Fine. Fine, I'll buy a stupid shelf. Will that get you to leave me alone?"

"Yay!" Nordkisa cheered, having the exact response I expected. That frown disappeared before I'd even finished talking. "I'll even carry it up front for you, you just go back to shopping! See you in a few."

Without wasting another second, Nordkisa was making use of her magic again. She hefted up one of the boxed copies of 'Billy' and levitated it high above both of our heads, strolling along underneath it with the biggest, most smug grin on her little face. A horse... pony... whatever, had no business being that persuasive. That little mare could probably rule the world if she wanted to.

Now with an entire extra bookshelf added to my list, I was free to finally enter the promised land. I rounded a corner and saw what I had been after all morning, rows upon rows of sofas and other comfy seating options laid out for me to peruse at my own pace. There wasn't even a pony in sight, leaving me free to look without being distracted. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and reminded myself of the dimensions of the space I needed to fill, looking through the handful of pictures I'd taken earlier. It occurred to me then that I was a terrible photographer, and that I really should've checked these before calling it done. Still, they'd work well enough, and I wasn't exactly a master of interior design to begin with.

Most of the couches on offer looked similar to one another, but there were enough key differences to give me a difficult choice. I could just grab anything and call it good, but I was suddenly paralyzed with indecision. None of them were even particularly expensive, so I couldn't rule any out based on my budget. Instead, I just stood and stared, and it wasn't until several minutes later that I'd narrowed down my options to two - a 'Finnala' or a 'Klippan'. I had no idea what either name meant, but I eventually found myself gravitating toward the latter. It was a little smaller and a little simpler in design, and both features suited me just nicely. The hard part would be picking up the box and getting it to the register... then having to deal with Nordkisa again.

I glanced around to my left and right, looking for another pony who might be able to help. With any luck, I'd find one of the unicorns who could just levitate the thing for me and make this a breeze. Just when it seemed like I was alone in this department, one more pony apparently saw it necessary to try and send me to an early grave.

"Hello! Found what you're looking for, sir?" An overly cheerful voice chirped from behind me. After recovering from nearly jumping out of my skin (again), I wheeled around and looked down to see, of course, a little pony grinning up at me. Funnily enough, her nametag also said 'Klippan' on it. She was a unicorn, thankfully, with pale blue fur and a white mane. "I might be a little biased, but I think you made a good choice."

"Er, right," I hedged, trying to ignore the smug look on her little face. She'd been waiting for the chance to scare me, no doubt. "I like this one, but I dunno if I want to drag it all the way to the front by myself. Care to lend a ha- hoof?" I indicated the couch I wanted with a thumb over my shoulder, not that Klippan needed me to show her the Klippan we were both standing right in front of.

"Nope! I can lend a horn, though," she quipped, stepping around me as her horn started to glow just like the other unicorn's. She probably gets just as much of a kick out of saying that every time, too, judging by the widening grin on her face. "Stand back, I'll do the heavy lifting."

I saw no reason to argue if she intended to do it all by herself, so I stepped aside and crossed my arms over my chest. It was just as impressive as the first time, and this time I had a little bit less trouble believing it. It was still totally bullshit, though. With Klippan already leading the way, I followed along at her side and kept an eye out for any other ponies looking to force me into buying any more shelves. Fortunately, the coast seemed clear for now.

"So," I began, speaking up just a tad over the sparkly, magic-y noises Klippan's horn was apparently making. "how long were you standing behind me waiting for me to pick out a couch?"

"Oh, me?" She asked, in the worst attempt at playing innocent I'd ever seen. "Not long. Maybe a minute. Or two. You took a long time to decide, and I didn't wanna spook you."

Right. So she was creeping on me.

"Gee, thanks. Kinda gave up on the 'not scaring me' thing when you screamed in my ear, didn't you?"

"I didn't scream in your ear! I'm not tall enough to do that even if I wanted to!" Klippan pouted, looking up at me and letting the floating coach do a dangerous amount of wobbling midair.

"Okay, okay, I exaggerated. Still, that's like the third time one of you has done that. No wonder there aren't any other shoppers in here," I said, conveniently glossing over the fact that it was two in the afternoon on a weekday. Klippan didn't seem to notice, but at least she was able to relax after my reassurances.

"You just got lucky today! It's usually a lot more packed. Still, that's, er... we've had a few meetings about not startling customers."

"And did ya have any meetings about aggressive marketing? I've got a damn bookshelf waiting for me at the register that I was practically bribed to buy." I jerked my head in the general direction of the department said shelf had come from, but I was probably wrong. This place was built like a maze. Klippan just giggled.

"Met Nordkisa, I take it? She's like that a lot. There's a reason she gets the award for most sales every month, even if her methods are a little pushy. She's actually really sweet once you get to know her outside of work!"

"Outside of work? I can say without a doubt I've never seen anyone like you guys out and about. Do you only go out at night, or something?"

"What? No! We're just short, so it's easy to miss us. Do you really not pay attention when you're outside the house? I mean, seriously, even with our height, we aren't exactly stealthy." Klippan sounded genuinely surprised, looking up at me again with a raised eyebrow. She had to let that expression drop just as quickly when she nearly ran into a pole, weaving around it and levitating the couch with her.

"I guess not?" I offered, shrugging. Evidently, I was blind; or she was just lying to me for the hell of it. "But fine, whatever, you guys are everywhere and I never noticed somehow. Do you do, like... horse things?"

"Horse... things?" Klippan asked, once again glancing up with confusion written all over her face. Maybe I could've been more specific.

"I mean, I've never heard of you guys going to a bar or something. Or an arcade? The movies? What do little colorful horses do in their spare time?"

"Oh! Anything, I suppose! I like the library, myself, but I'm kind of an outlier. Nordkisa likes the movies, since we mentioned her earlier, um... I actually don't know what most of the girls get up to, but they're all super nice too. They probably have their own hobbies and stuff. I think Malm mentioned liking cave tours and other geology stuff? Dunno if you met her, she's over near the desks and stuff with the new mare whose name I can't remember."

"Yeah, I met her. She was kind of a jerk, if I'm being honest. At least she offered to help me find the sofas, though, so that was-"

"THERE you are! I was beginning to think you snuck out on me!" A familiar voice called. Oh no.

Looking up, I saw that Klippan and I had finally reached the front. The register was operated by another pony, naturally, and Nordkisa was standing there leaning on the box she intended to force me to buy. The cashier pony looked like she would rather be literally anywhere else, and like she could use a nap. Nordkisa, on the other hand, looked equal parts impatient and proud of herself. "Yeah, it's me, I made it," I answered, narrowing my eyes at her. She was unfazed.

"Hey, Nord," Klippan cut in, interrupting our little standoff. "Did he really wanna buy that thing, or are you making him?"

Nordkisa hesitated for only a moment, suddenly looking a little nervous. What was Klippan doing that I wasn't? We both scowled at her! Eventually, Nordkisa picked the shelf back up in her magic and started to float it away. "I made him," she mumbled, sounding defeated. "But he totally would've gone through with it if you didn't butt in! I had him - this close!"

Nordkisa gestured wildly with one free hoof while she trotted away on the other three, ending it off with an "I'm watching you" sort of move directed at Klippan before she disappeared around a corner. I was left standing there like an idiot, and the cashier looked like she hadn't even bothered to absorb any of what happened. She just looked up at me and mumbled a canned greeting. "Hello, sir. Did you find what you were looking for today?"

"Yep, I sure did, er..."

'Björknäsa'?! Fucking seriously?

"... you. I'm sorry, I'm not even gonna try with that name." Fortunately, she was so out of it that she didn't seem offended by my unwillingness to call her by name. That was probably for the best, honestly; attempting and fumbling would probably be more embarrassing for the both of us.

"Just the sofa for him, Björk," Klippan cheerfully interrupted. It sounded like she was trying to imitate a dog, but then again, all of these ponies had weird names. The cashier mare nodded slowly and held up a scanner gun in one forehoof, clutching the handle awkwardly with her lack of fingers. She angled it down and scanned the price tag on my new sofa, and I was only slightly upset to see the total come up on the little screen.

"Cash or card, sir?" She asked, sounding barely more awake than she did a moment ago. Maybe Klippan's cheerfulness rubbed off on her?

"Card, thanks," I quickly answered, already plucking mine out of my wallet. Klippan surprised me with another show of her magical abilities, snatching the piece of plastic out of my hands and inserting it into the reader for me. "You know that probably counts as theft, right?" I joked.

"Oh, c'mon! You were gonna pay for it anyway," she protested, already passing my card back to me. I tucked it away and waved my free hand.

"Sure, tell it to the judge. I don't think you'll be able to cheer your way through that one, thief," I countered, keeping the charade going. Klippan seemed genuinely offended at first, but now she seemed to get it. That big grin on her face was a good indication, and...

Wow. She was really cute. All of these ponies were, even the stoner behind the register, but Klippan was especially cute. How was she not employee of the month instead of Nordkisa? I distracted myself by heaving the boxed sofa off of the floor on my own, and it took a moment or two to find a way to hold it that wouldn't see me dropping the damn thing on my feet in just a few seconds. Klippan could see me struggling, but she just nodded her head encouragingly. Was her magic on a cooldown or something?

"Thanks for stopping by," she said, once I was done fumbling. "And, er... good luck with the new couch? I guess? I hope it does a good job replacing the old one, if nothing else."

I took one step toward the double doors just a few dozen feet ahead of me, awkwardly looking back over my shoulder and unable to gesture with my hands. "Thanks! I can honestly say this is the weirdest, best day of furniture shopping I've ever done. Are there any other pony-run stores in town that I just never heard of before?"

Klippan shook her head immediately, looking a little saddened. "Nope, we're one of a kind. That just means it's easier to attract customers though, right? Unique shopping experience and all that?" Now that she was talking, Klippan didn't seem to have any issue following me to the door. She trailed behind me a few steps, grinning all the while, and used her magic to catch the box in my hands when it started to slip.

"Unique is one word for it - especially with people like Nordkisa and Malm on your team. Still, this was... uh... nice? I'd say I'll be coming back, but I really hope I don't have to, if that makes sense."

Klippan chortled again just as we reached the doors together, stepping aside and waving me forward with a hoof. "Yup! Shouldn't have to come back if the furniture does what it's supposed to. But if you wanted to come back, you know, we're open seven days a week. See you whenever!"

I nodded on my way out, letting Klippan have the last word as I stepped out into the parking lot. The sun was a lot closer to the horizon than I thought it would be, and after heaving the sofa into my truck I took a glance at my phone to find that it was way, WAY later than I thought it was. Had I really spent three hours in there? For ONE thing? Those ponies must have been holding me up for longer than I realized - that, or the place being built like a maze was more impactful than I thought. As I stepped around and climbed back into the driver's seat, however, I felt a hunger pang in my empty stomach. I'd done all that and spent so much of my day in there, and I forgot to see the food court like I'd planned.

My hand stopped halfway toward putting the key in the ignition, and I found myself staring up at the giant blue building for the second time today. I still had plenty of time to kill, technically, and leaving right now would mean wading through the afternoon rush just to get back home.

Maybe I could poke my head back in there and see what Klippan recommended...