1. Meet Squared Circle
The lights had gone out in the part of the area where the crowd, the camera crew, the ring, the time keeper, the bell ringer, and the announce team was, and a spot light shone on the ramp where I stood.
"Ladies, and gentleman. On the way to the ring, from Manehattan Equestria, standing 6'5" tall , and weighing in at 'None of your business'...." said the human In-Ring Announcer.
I had to chuckle at that, because it really wasn't anypony's business how much I weighed. I ate healthy, worked out, lifted weights, and didn't use performance enhancers like a lot those human athletes did, but because of the fact that I was so muscular, there was speculation, and accusations in the wrestling, and sports magazines in both this world, and in Equestria. One thinly veiled threat of a visit from my attorneys, though, and the magazines retracted those statements rather quickly.
"....the Equestria Professional Wrestling Association Champion....Squared Circle!"
As I walked down the ramp toward the ring, it was so quiet you could hear a timid Pegasus Mare squee. Of course not many humans had seen a 6'5' bipedal green Unicorn Stallion with a blonde mane, blonde tail, and green eyes in blue wrestling pants, blue wristbands, blue knee pads, blue Wrestling boots, and blue Elbow Pads before. I mean the portal between Equestria, and the human world hadn't even been open a month, and I'm sure there were humans who thought we were going to experiment on them, probe them, and then suck out their brains, or something. I walked up the steps from the floor to the Ring Apron, and ducked between the middle, and top ropes before grabbing a microphone. I had something to say, and by Celestia, the humans in this arena, and everyone watching at home was going to hear it. The lights returned to normal illumination, and moved to stand in the middle of the ring.
"Alright, first thing's first. As he said, my name is Squared Circle."
I slipped the EPWA title from off my shoulder, and held it up for all to see.
"Now I know this doesn't mean anything in this promotion, or in this world, but I see how you fans respect this promotion's World Champion not just because he's talented in the ring, and on the Microphone, but because he also listens to you, and interacts with you during his promos in the way you would with a family member, or a friend, or a co-worker, all I ask is that you would show me the same courtesy."
No reaction. Not what I was hoping for, but I'll roll with it the best I can.
"I'll admit an Equestrian Pony in the human world is a bit weird, so I can understand your apprehensions, and I can understand why you might not like me, but don't be too quick to judge. I can prove myself worthy of your respect by beating every single competitor in this promotion in however many matches it takes for as many weeks, or months that it takes, and if by then, you still don't like me, I'll disappear from this promotion's events forever."
A sinister song started playing, and a human with a black shoulder length mane, who was dressed all in black with the promotion's Television Championship around his waist walked out onto the ramp with a microphone in hand. I recognized him as Frank Stone. The music cut off, and Stone started to speak, but was cut off by boos from the crowd.
"SHUT UP WHILE I'M TALKING, MONKEYS!!!"
"I guess I knew who I'll be beating to within an inch of their life first," I said before he could badmouth the crowd, or me further. "Although that would require you to have a life to start with, which everypo-everyone knows you don't."
He was brash, arrogant, and loud. Almost like Prince Blueblood, if he was a human. Scary thought, I know.
"No one was talking to you, freak!" Stone spat back. "So why don't you save yourself the embarrassment, and humiliation, and just leave now? No one wants you here anyway!"
"Says the jelly spine, gutless, sniveling, cowardly, bully who can't fight fairly, or honorably, because he refuses too, and because he doesn't know the meaning of either word, so he attacks others from above, and from behind," I said. "And never alone, either. You have several thugs to help uneven the odds, because you know you'd get your flank handed to you otherwise."
"You say you want a match with me?" Stone asks starting to laugh at me. "You're not even in my league! So all your false bravado, and trying to goad me into a fight isn't going to work!"
I flared up my horn.
"Well, I've got two words for you."
"Oh yeah? What's that?" asked Stone, mockingly.
I smiled in a devious way.
"Soiled Drawers."
The magic in my horn shot toward him, enveloping him in a white glow before dissipating. Suddenly, he clutched his stomach, and a loud fart echoed throughout the entire building. The crowd groaned in disgust, and a brown puddle began forming at his feet as his bodily waste ran down his legs. He put his hand behind himself to try to keep it in, but only succeeded in getting waste all over his hand. The crowd began laughing at him.
"Maybe you should change your name to 'Turdpants McGee'!" I called after him as he quickly ran into the backstage area, leaving a trail of brown behind him.
Once he was gone, the crowd started cheering me, and applauding what I had done. I knew Stone was going to want revenge for what I did, and would no doubt be waiting to ambush me with a few of his thugs backstage, so I needed to make a strategic exit another way. Flaring up my horn again, I teleported away with the microphone still in hand, though it had been shut off. I could hear the crowd gasp at what they had just seen, because I didn't go far, just to the rafters of the arena where Stone, and his thugs would never think to look for me, and no one in the crowd could see me either.
