Crusaders of Harmony: Tales of Pure Heart

Pure Heart was confused. Well, more than confused, as she read the letter in front of her, as if she had just witnessed a really bad joke—or an uncomfortable one instead. She had read the legal paper in front of her, issued by Ponyville's mayor, Mayor Mare, in the name of the so-called Cutie Mark Crusaders, where she had been accused of... Copyright Infringement?

"Em, Canvas. Tell me this is a joke," Pure Heart said to the priestess, the one who had given her the paper.

"I wish it were like that, Mother Pure Heart. But I revised it letter by letter and even for magic incantations. It is completely real," the tattooed bald mare said with her professional neutral tone, standing next to Flash Spark.

Pure Heart was in worried confusion. Who were these crusaders, and what even was Copyright? She had been here for over 200 years, but she hadn't exactly been one to learn of modernity so quickly.

"Well, surely it's just a children's prank or something modern. It doesn't concern me," Pure Heart said, trying to wave it off.

"It is not, High Priestess Pure Heart," said Flash Spark, who even took off her sunglasses to show the severity of this. "This Copyright is a lawsuit that could lead us to problems with authorities. Even if it's for the slightest and stupidest thing, the law, and especially the lawyers, will do anything to get profit from this. And you know we have lots of money."

Pure Heart slowly turned with wide eyes. "Oh, come on. I haven't bled for centuries just so some group of fillies can simply sue us over a simple name coincidence. Besides, I created this group even before their parents existed!" Pure Heart said, annoyed.

"But did you patent the name?" Priestess Canvas asked seriously.

"I did what?" Pure Heart said, the word being alien to her.

"Patented. Like, made sure only we could use that word?" Flash Spark said quickly, putting her sunglasses back over her burning eyes.

"What? Why would I do that? I am not the first one to use the word ‘crusade’ or ‘crusader’ at all! Why would I be sued for this?!" Pure Heart said, growing more annoyed.

"Because we are the only ones using it formally," Priestess Canvas said neutrally.

Pure Heart couldn't believe her eyes, ears, or even her own tongue. This was absurd, stupid, and clearly immature—to mess with an institution as important as theirs just over a word. "Then what do we do?"

"We can either fight in court or pay a bill to use the name," said Flash Spark calmly.

"Fine, pay them, whatever. Just end this pointless problem," Pure Heart said dismissively.

"That is not advisable, High Priestess. The bill isn’t cheap," Flash Spark explained, worried.

"Oh, come on, what's the worst it would cost?" Pure Heart said, waving a hoof.

"10 thousand," Priestess Canvas said bluntly.

Pure Heart choked on her own saliva, taking moments to cough and spit it out. "10 THOUSAND?! WHAT THE FU— Very Family Friendly Words about how the CMC are great ponies —THOSE fillies think they are?!" She turned red, her neck veiny—something weird coming from the all-patient and calm Pure Heart, who hadn't even flinched at literal demons.

Flash Spark and Priestess Canvas had moved far back while Pure Heart was having her tantrum. "So, fighting it is?" Flash Spark asked in a meek voice.

"Of course we'll fight! We will call upon the mightiest of lawyers! They will defend our Harmony from this tyranny—"

"You know a lawyer is even far more expensive than that 10,000-bit bill, right?" Priestess Canvas said bluntly again.

"Oh, for F**k’s SAKE! Then what is the purpose of this?!" Pure Heart said, desperate.

"Take our money," both Priestess Canvas and Flash Spark said in unison, unsurprised that it had come to this.

Pure Heart put her hooves on her head in despair and sat on the ground of the temple. "What do we do? We cannot have another problem with the law. We are already quite between the wall and the blade because of Cross Heart’s problems!"

"Maybe we could defend ourselves," Flash Spark suggested.

"Great thinking, idiot. I guess you know about law and order from those stupid series you've been watching, haven't you?" Priestess Canvas said, neutrally mocking her partner, even putting on a bored face.

"Hey! First off, Better Call Trots is a great series! And second... you are right. We are screwed," Flash Spark answered back.

"UUGH! Now who will help us?!" Pure Heart almost wept. She wasn't bothered by being tortured, hurt, or even killed repeatedly for the sake of her followers. But when law entered—a force she had no say in or control over—and it even affected her followers, she was in despair.

Then the blinds of the huge windows closed, and darkness covered the room.

"Are you asking for justice?~"

"Is your life in despair?~"

"Are you ready to solve problems?!"

"And fix them double?!"

A pair of young voices came from above, and suddenly, lights appeared, moving around the temple hall as if it were a show. Then, from the sides, a pair of small figures appeared, striking poses of epicness—and of questionable health for their spines.

"We are what you need!"

"We are your saviors!"

"We!"

"ARE!"

The blinds opened back up, revealing the figures of Bliss and Joy, the youngest crusader fillies.

"The Creative, Original Organization of Little FILLIES! Or COOL FILLIES for you!" they said in unison, their proud smirks and egos as big as the temple itself.

The three priestesses looked at the fillies in shock; between the entrance, the presentation, and the convenience of their problem, they seemed almost wonderful. Except for one thing.

"You two aren’t even eight, and you want to fight in court?" Flash Spark asked, confused.

"Well, it is time to make the nuns work to regain the money. I hope the strip club still hires," Priestess Canvas said while walking away, but Pure Heart used her telekinesis to drag her back.

"Wait. This may work," Pure Heart said in deep thought.

"What?!" Flash Spark and Priestess Canvas said, confused and shocked.

"Yeah, who else could defend us from stupid kids better than our smarter kids?!"

"The CMC could have a professional lawyer of their own!" Flash Spark argued, angry.

"You said lawyers cost a lot. How the heck could they pay for one?" Pure Heart countered.

Flash Spark was about to answer, but Priestess Canvas silenced her with her purple magic. "Actually, that is a great idea."

Priestess Canvas sighed. "If this fails, YOU will be in the striptease club, Mother Pure Heart."

"Do not worry, High Priestess!" Bliss said in a calming tone.

"We will put those fillies to shame in the name of HARMONY!" Joy added, excited and sure of themselves.

Pure Heart sighed but smiled proudly at them. "Give them all the power of our might!"

The two fillies smacked hooves together and ran out of the temple, ready to defend their religion and their friends.

Meanwhile, the priestesses stood there, looking at the door silently, just as Priestess Silent Whisper entered—wearing sexy lingerie and long striped socks, yet still with her porcelain mask.

"So, are we going to the strip club?"

"Not yet, Sister Whisper," Canvas said in her neutral tone.

"Oh." Silent Whisper looked down at herself, then backed up. "What a bummer."

It had been a bright day in Ponyville, and the usual had been happening on the streets; the ponies had gone around the markets to buy things or had been speaking with their friends. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, however, had been at the town hall with the three little fillies, who had been dressed in suits made by Rarity, the only one happy in the situation for showing her designs. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had been waiting outside with smirks on their faces, fixing their ties.

"This will be so easy to make money! That way, we could pay for more reforms for the clubhouse! Scoots, you are a genius!" Sweetie Belle had said with a smile.

"Thanks. It was a long research, but this thing about copyright is quite powerful! Besides, who dares to copy our name?!" Scootaloo had said with a smile.

"Um, girls, are you sure about this? I mean, suing somepony is not as easy as you think. Besides, you are ruining their day with this, especially a group like the Crusaders," Rainbow Dash had said, worried and uncomfortable.

"Don't worry, Rainbow Dash! I know the Crusaders are too archaic and old to even know what copyright is! Surely they won't come and—PUM! Money for the treehouse!" Apple Bloom had said excitedly.

The Mane 6 had looked at them in shock and confusion, and then Applejack had spoken. "I don't know. Are you sure that's how it works, lil' sis? I'm no lawyer, but I don't think you can win like that. Besides, y'all could make that money with honest work, like everypony!"

"Pfft, It's all okay, Applejack! I assure you they won't even come here," Apple Bloom had said confidently.

Then, the entrance of the town hall had opened pair to pair, and the couple of fillies in white robes had entered the building with smirks on their faces, their mint and ocean blue manes swinging almost at the same time. Bliss and Joy had walked to them and had stood slightly smaller than them.

"Hah! You three are the ones wanting to defy the glory of our church?" Bliss had said with a smirk.

"This must be a joke! Three fillies sued our temple and our dear Pure Heart!? Unbelievable!" Joy had said with a shake of her head and an annoyed expression.

The CMC had looked at the fillies in shock. "Who are you?" Sweetie Belle had asked.

The fillies had smiled at each other. "We are Bliss!"

"And Joy!"

"From the Crusaders of Harmony!"

"And we came to face you in court!"

"For you have challenged our peace!"

"Now we are going to break your butt!"

The two fillies had said with glee, power, and determination, making their extravagant poses.

The CMC had looked at the duo with confusion, worry, and even fear on Sweetie Belle's part. But Apple Bloom had taken a deep breath and had turned to her friends, determined. "Um, come on, girls! They can't be that bad! They are a pair of fillies; we are three! Say it with me!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: ATTORNEYS AT LAW! YAY!" They had said it in unison and had hoofed each other at the same time.

At court, the room was filled with only a few ponies: the Mane 6 on one side, Lyra and Bonbon, Derpy and Dr. Hooves, Miss Cheerilee—who wasn’t at all surprised by her students' antics—Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and Mayor Mare as the judge.

"The session of the Cutie Mark Crusaders against the Crusaders of Harmony has now begun!" She slammed the hammer on the pedestal. "Where are your lawyers?"

"We will defend ourselves!" the CMC said, tightening their ties.

"We will too! We are giving them a chance at winning," Bliss and Joy said calmly.

Mayor Mare sighed. "It’s going to be one of those… Fine, may the prosecutor begin their declaration."

"Well, Mayor Mare—" Apple Bloom started.

"It's ‘Your Honor,’" Mayor Mare corrected her.

"Huh? You became royalty? When?" Apple Bloom asked innocently.

"No, it’s not… ugh, whatever, just continue," Mayor Mare said, trying to make this quick.

"Well, Your Majesty, this CULT of ponies is using our name illegally, as we were the first to use the word ‘Crusader,’ and as this document proves." Apple Bloom took out a paper from a folder. "We have patented the use of the word ‘Crusader’ as a persona, group, or title name in Equestria, which they are violating right now!"

"OBJECTION!" Bliss said instantly and stood straight. "The name ‘Crusaders of Harmony’ is way older than the formation of these fillies' pajama club or whatever; thus, it doesn't apply to us, as our group was founded over 200 years ago. This means it's not a direct infraction, since you patented it much later! And patents can't be used to claim names older than a decade!"

"UGH!" Apple Bloom felt the power of her words, making her step back and clutch her chest. "I-Impossible!"

Mayor Mare looked at the others with wide eyes. "Seems accurate. Maybe this will end sooner than I thought."

"HOLD ON!" Sweetie Belle pushed Apple Bloom out of the way. "Actually, the law does say that a name can't be claimed if it's over a decade old! But it also states in the next article that if the name is still in active use, its age is overruled! Since they are still functioning, they are still violating copyright!"

"OW!" Bliss felt a pain in her body and fell to the ground. "Damn Ace Attorney references! Why does it hurt?"

"Hm, that seems correct. Maybe this case is more one-sided than I thought," Mayor Mare said, placing a hoof on her chin.

Rarity, in the back, smiled. "Go, Sweetie! You have this in the bag!"

"OBJECTION!" Joy’s voice broke through the room. "Hmph, haha! Good try! But the thing is, you are wrong!"

"What?!" Sweetie Belle said in confusion.

"Yes! Because while we are active in the present day, we have something you haven’t considered—Historical Defense!"

"Historical Defense? What is that?" Mayor Mare asked, confused.

"Hmph! You just made that up!" Sweetie Belle said angrily.

"Nu-uh! Because the law you cited only applies to modern companies, ones with less than a century of existence!"

"Huh?!" Sweetie Belle was shocked and frantically looked through her papers. "Oh no!"

"Exactly! Thus, as the Ministry of History and Defense against the destruction of antiques states, you cannot challenge us since we are over a century old, and we pose no threat to the life, stability, or peace of the nation! Thus, your argument: IT’S INVALID! HUZZAH!"

"OW!" Sweetie Belle was pushed back by the sheer force of Joy’s words. "Oh no! She got me!"

"Hm, seems like some filly did her homework. In that case, I believe we have a clear winner. The Crusaders of Harmony are in—!"

"NOT SO FAST!" Scootaloo suddenly interrupted.

"Huh?! Hah?!" The room erupted in confusion as the little pegasus—

"I AM NO CHICKEN! IT’S A DISABILITY!" she grumbled before turning to the filly nun. "You! You just dug your own grave!~"

"Impossible. You have nothing against us!"

"But you said that law didn’t apply to antiques that don’t pose a hazard to the nation… but that’s not your case! Your cult, group, or whatever kind of psychos you are, are indeed a threat to Equestria! You destabilize our peace and constantly cause problems everywhere!"

Joy looked at her in shock. "That’s not true! We bring peace!"

"Peace? I have proof against that! OBSERVE!" Scootaloo dropped pictures in front of Mayor Mare. One showed a nun from the Church of Celestia, another depicted a mountainous region burned and scorched black, and the last one displayed a forest filled with bodies of strange creatures.

"What is this?" Mayor Mare asked in confusion.

"Proofs that these ponies aren't pacifist at all! The kidnapping of a member of the Church of Celestia, Veil Whisper, and harming her to keep illegal hold of her! Fighting against royal guards! That mountain was a place of nature until a duo of your priestesses appeared, and after something, the place was destroyed, and all animals and plants in the area were scorched to oblivion! We know because ponies close to the place saw the lights, and later, the mares left the place! And the bodies were found near the recent town where a horrible storm struck them. Many ponies went missing after that, and then these bodies were found in the forest next to it, and that happened just after the Crusaders of Harmony appeared in the place! And yes, those ponies were the missing ponies of the town!"

Gasps filled the town hall, and Joy was looking nervous. "Hey, that's taken out of context!"

"But it shows that they are indeed affecting the nation and its stability; thus, the Copyright still affects them!"

"WAAAH!" Joy felt herself being pushed to the ground next to her twin sister. "Oh no, what do we do?"

"I don't know. This wasn't in our plans."

"Wow... these condemnations could open to much more cases... but as this is only about copyright. Well, it indeed violates the only defense left they have. Well, I guess the decision is clear."

Scootaloo made a 'buck yeah' gesture, while Rainbow looked at her proudly.

"Thus, The Crusaders of Harmony are deemed guilt-"

The doors of the room opened suddenly. "NOT SO FAST!" It appeared what seemed like a green mare, with natural clothes made of plants and leaves, walking into the middle of the hall.

"Huh? Who are you?" Scootaloo asked, confused.

"Ma'am, we are having a court here." Mayor Mare said, annoyed and wanting this all to finish.

"I know. I came in defense of the Crusaders of Harmony as a witness!" The green mare said seriously.

"What?!" The CMC said, shocked.

"Indeed, I know the truth of all those accusations! And I can defend each allegation, showing the Crusaders indeed made all that for peace in Equestria!"

"Hmm... fine, step up and say what you know." Mayor Mare said.

Bliss and Joy looked up and saw the mare who wanted to defend them. "Who is she?" "I have no idea."

The green mare stood in the middle of the room. "I can tell, as a witness of all those accusations, as I was in each of them, the Crusaders are innocent!" She said it seriously. "Firstly, in the case of Veil Whisper, she herself was the one who left the Church of Celestia and sought refuge with the Crusaders of Harmony. If it wasn't for Pure Heart and the Crusaders, she would have been punished severely!"

"Ugh!" Scootaloo received the pain of the words. "Still doesn't excuse the scorched mountain!"

"Hmph~ The mountain was home to a horrible rocky serpent demon! As surely you can see in the picture, the only remnants in the place were a bunch of rocks forming a long body! That was a demon that the two priestesses fought, almost dying to protect all ponies passing there!"

Mayor Mare looked at the picture and hummed. "Indeed, it's in the picture. It would also explain the disappearances of previous days."

"Ow!" Scootaloo stood still, straight and defiant. "Well, but they still killed innocent ponies, whose families were worried about them!"

"Good try." The green mare said with a smirk. "But those ponies were already dead!"

"Huh?!" All the ponies in the town hall were confused.

"Indeed. Actually, the storm and the kidnappings were caused by a spirit! A Tree of the Phantoms! A being who sent the storm to the town and used the lost ponies as vessels, taking their souls and using their bodies to try to hunt none other than High Priestess Pure Heart! Those ponies weren't even alive anymore! In the picture, you can see the burned tree in the middle!"

Mayor Mare looked at the picture and hummed again. "Indeed."

Scootaloo looked nervous. "No way."

"Thus, all these accusations are false, out of context, and defamation! Thus, the Crusaders are still inside the legality of copyright and are innocent!"

"WAAAHHH!" Scootaloo fell on her back by the power of the green mare's voice. "N-n-nooooo!"

"Well, taking this new information, and because we all are tired, I deem the Crusaders of Harmony, innocent." Mayor Mare slammed her hammer and stood up. "Now, please, don't bother me for a month."

The ponies in the room stood up too, walking out of the town hall. Diamond Tiara threw a raspberry at the CMC before going away.

The trio of fillies lay on the ground in confusion. "H-how?" Apple Bloom said in shock.

"W-we lost." Sweetie Belle said with resentment.

"Our clubhouse." Scootaloo said tired.

Meanwhile, Joy and Bliss walked to the green mare. "Wow, thank you so much, miss." Bliss said happily.

"But why? Who even are you?" Joy asked in confusion.

The green mare smiled at them. "A friend of your dear Pure Heart. She sent me to aid you two."

"Well, you just saved the Crusaders' money. Thank you a lot." Bliss said, putting her hoof over her heart.

"No problem. But maybe you can do some more good." The green mare said, looking at the Mane 6 surrounding the sad CMC.

The twin nuns looked at them and walked over. "Hey girls, nice fight there." Joy said softly and with a smile.

But the fillies looked at them with annoyance, sniffing the sadness away. "What? You want to mock us? Laugh at us? Go ahead; we don't care anymore." Apple Bloom said in a sad/angry tone.

"None of that. Why did you even do all this for? What did we do to you?" Bliss asked in confusion.

Sweetie Belle sighed. "We just wanted money to improve our clubhouse. The woods were starting to rot, and soon it could have broken down and left us without our place of games."

The twins looked at them with neutral faces, and then they started laughing, sneering, and chuckling at that.

Scootaloo saw this and stood up in anger. "Really?! You asked for it!" She lunged to punch her; not even Rainbow Dash could have acted fast enough. But Joy easily stopped her hoof with her own several times without even looking.

"Hey, hey!~ We were not mocking you. If you really had that problem, why didn’t you ask for help? We could have easily aided you in the construction of your clubhouse," Joy said, holding Scootaloo's hoof.

"Huh? Why?" Apple Bloom asked, confused.

"We always did charity, and we normally couldn't help with adults' problems. But we could help you with your thing," Bliss said, pulling Scootaloo's hoof down.

"Really? You will help us?" Sweetie Belle asked with a wide smile.

"Yeah, why didn’t both Crusaders work together instead of fighting? It could have been... wholesome, wouldn’t it?" Joy said with a soft, friendly smile.

The CMC turned to each other, and Scootaloo easily stood up and offered a hoof. "Only if you chanted with us!"

The twins rolled their eyes and chuckled. "Fine."

The five fillies made a circle and together chanted, "CRUSADERS UNITED: RECONSTRUCTION WORK! YAY!" And together they turned to walk out of the town hall.

In a moment, Sweetie Belle turned to Scootaloo. "Hey, Scots, I was still surprised. Where did you get those pictures and information? We barely even knew the laws."

"Uh, well, I found them at the clubhouse with some notes on the information. I didn’t think it through, but help was help."

Sweetie Belle shrugged, and all the team ran out of the town hall.

Meanwhile, in the distance, Cross Heart was looking through some binoculars, and she growled. "Damn fillies. They only had one job... Damn it. You won this time too, Pure Heart. But one day, even your allies won’t help you." She threw the binoculars and walked away.

At the temple of the Crusaders, Pure Heart was meditating in her office. She lay on the floor, with a smile and taking deep breaths. In an instant, the green mare appeared behind her in complete silence, but Pure Heart felt her presence, and her smile widened. "You sly fly. You know, mortals knocked on doors."

The green mare rolled her eyes. "Your job is done, your money is safe, and your girls were having fun. You owed me one."

Pure Heart opened her eyes and turned her head to her. "You didn’t need to, but you did still... Was the world of gods okay?"

"Well, like always. Some wanted some chaos to happen, I had to hold them all back. It was stressful," the green mare said with a calm tone.

Pure Heart chuckled. "You are free to go, Mother Nature. Thanks, like always."

Mother Nature smiled and closed her eyes as her body glowed and turned into a bunch of leaves that flew out the window with a nonexistent air. Pure Heart smirked and returned to her silent prayer and meditation.