How to Survive Dating the Mane 6! (With Lucky Lovestruck)by Furious47ChaptersHow to survive dating RarityHow to survive dating ApplejackHow to survive dating FluttershyHow to survive dating Rainbow DashHow to Survive Dating Twilight SparkleHow to Survive Dating Pinkie PieHow to survive dating RarityHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. Some may know me as a very desirable pony, able to pick up love interests and marefriends with ease, and others may know me as someone who gets dumped and/or cheated on a lot. I soon realized during my quest to find my very special somepony that I am better at advising others on finding their better half rather than trying to find one myself. Ever since that cutie mark appeared on my flank, I have devoted my life to trying to help ponies find their perfect match, (This is not necessarily true, I am actually a security guard at the Canterlot Mall, but that is a story for another day.) and I must say that I am pretty good at what I do, and YOU, my dear reader, you shall be my greatest client yet. I have heard that you find yourself attracted to one of the heroic mares that have defended Equestria. Don’t try and deny it! Worry not, your secrets are safe with me. Most of, if not all of these ponies are completely out of your league, and that is okay! It just means you are going to have to work harder for it! In this five-page guide, you will find instructions on how to survive dating all five of those mares. All you need to do is follow the instructions of the pony your heart desires! In this guide, we will be talking about this lovely mare named Rarity. You have likely heard of her by word of mouth. Rarity runs a boutique in Ponyville, and her creations have become so popular, that they have even caught the attention of the elite mares and stallions all the way in Canterlot, and even the Crystal Empire! Winning Rarity’s love is no easy task, you will be asked to jump through countless hoops, and if unprepared, you will be faced with a cold shoulder and disappointment. But never fear! Follow these instructions to the letter and you should have her in your arms (or hooves!) in no time! 1 - First things first, it helps to have a good background when it comes to impressing Rarity. First off, you’re going to want to not have a criminal record. Rarity cares very deeply about her reputation, so if you have a record, chances are she will not be interested! Being wealthy or a royal helps, but is not required. Imagine being an average joe the equivalent of picking ‘expert’ mode in a video game. 2 - Learn some manners. Learn how to be respectful at the dinner table. If you’re a male, always rise when she enters the room, for example. Practice having a good posture and stick to it diligently. Looking respectful is a major part of impressing Rarity! 3 - Practice good hygiene. This is a general rule when it comes to dating anypony, so I’m not going to mention this anymore because it’s pretty much common sense. 4 - If you end up catching her fancy, she may ask you to join her at her boutique to try on her newest creations and mane-dos (if applicable.) Whatever she may do to you, whatever happens, NEVER protest. Yes, it may be weird and uncomfortable, but surely you can spare an hour of your time to make Rarity happy, right? 5 - Learn how to flirt with her. Traditional pick-up lines and things like that won’t interest Rarity. You’re going to want to throw compliments around like confetti. ‘Nice mane,’ ‘nice coat,’ ‘love what you did to your mane this morning!’ to name a few. She will eat that stuff up. If all else fails, you can always use the piece of resistance, your trump card… The ‘B’ word. No, not that one. Beautiful. Trust me, she’s a sucker for hearing how beautiful and attractive she is. 6 - Rarity LOVES gifts. You’re going to want to give gifts often. Rarity is a pony of poise and class, and will turn away cheap gifts. Jewelry such as necklaces and braces (But not earrings, as she doesn’t have her ears pierced,) are always appreciated, Be warned, however. She is not stupid and can tell the difference between real and fake jewelry. If you cannot afford such things, then flowers or boxes of chocolate are always good options 7 - Be willing to take care of her sister. Rarity can sometimes be very busy, with deadlines to make for clients and such, and cannot afford distractions. Rarity has a younger sister named Sweetie Belle, who, although she means well, will sometimes distract her. Sometimes Rarity will need peace and quiet in her workplace, and or be unable to do her work and take care of Sweetie Belle. So sometimes, Rarity will pop in unannounced and leave her with you. You need to be prepared for this. Don’t worry, though. Sweetie Belle is harmless. Very sweet, and pretty independent. We will come back to her later on. 8 - Learn French. This is mostly an optional thing, but hear me out. Rarity CAN speak a little French, to make herself seem fancy and sophisticated, but she isn’t fluent in it. Rarity thinks it’s a marvalous, enchanting language, and would love to speak it one day. That said, she loves ponies who can speak it. So if you want an easier time, maybe it’s time to pick up a new language… 9 - Rarity may sometimes ask for criticism from you on dresses she’s created. You’re going to want to be honest when she does. Honest, but not brutally honest. In other words, if you hate it, don’t make a big fuss about it, just try to guide her in the right direction if possible. She hates it when ponies lie about her creations, and hate it even more when they’re too hard on her 10 - A bit more about Sweetie Belle. On weekdays, Sweetie Belle will go to school, and she can walk to and from school with no problems. Rarity will likely insist you walk her there, though. On weekends or after school, she is free to go play with her friends if her homework is done, and she is back for dinner. Most days, she will go out with her friends, but sometimes she may stay in. If she was sent to your place, it’s likely she was bothering Rarity, and she dumped her on you to get her out of the way. She’s a very sweet, imaginative little girl, so I am sure you and her will find something to do. Oh yes, and please make sure she stays out of trouble and out of harm, maybe learn CPR or something. Rarity will thank you for watching her, and may even reward you handsomely for allowing her the time to work uninterrupted! 11 - Rarity is not the outdoorsy type of mare, and tends to enjoy quiet, candle-light dinners or strolls through Ponyville at night. Consider various activities like those when planning out dates. Oh, and shopping is another favorite activity of hers. She also enjoys wine tasting, painting, and going to plays and operas. 11a - Take caution, though! For shopping may be a bit expensive with Rarity. And there you have it. Even though Rarity may seem a little tightly-wound and boring, I can esure you that every day spent with her will not be uneventful, and will be filled with new experiences, laugher, love, and a new chapter of your life centered around this wonderful mare! Oh… There is just one more thing I forgot to mention. Rarity… Although her life may seem glamorous… Is hiding a secret. A secret nopony knows. You see… Ever since she began her career making dresses for the most elite of the elite, Rarity has earned herself a reputation. She has gone to parties, events, and shows, blowing away ponies with her stunning looks and outfits, earning a loyal fanbase, and picking up countless admirers… All of this, however, has come with a terrible price. As she began attending more and more of these fashion shows, posing for magazines, going to parties that even the princesses themselves showed up too, ponies in charge of these events and gatherings all told Rarity one thing: That she was fat. At first, Rarity took offense to this, sticking up her head and paying no attention to the blastfamous remarks. But soon, it became too much for Rarity to handle, until eventually, when she looked in the mirror, she saw not a beautiful mare, but a fat, revolting creature. So she began to starve herself, putting herself on a strict diet with soon led to her neglecting meals. When her friends caught on, they got her the help she needed to combat this, but even today, she still has trouble eating, worried she will eat too much, and one day, ponies may tell her what they told her before. You will notice her hesitation during meals, you may notice she turns down seconds or dessert even though she has barely eaten. You will need to be ready for this. Eventually, she may trust you enough to tell you this, you have to give her your word that you will not tell anyone, but most importantly, you will have to support her through this battle, being the best partner you can be, help her change and realize she is perfect, just the way she is. I have given you the tools you need to get her to fall in love with you, but I’m not dating her, you are. The rest of this is all up to you, but I know that you can do it. You got this. How to survive dating ApplejackHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. So you’re interested in dating Applejack, the farmer pony, the mare in charge of Sweet Apple Acres. Maybe you’re an Earth pony who caught her eye in the Ponyville marketplace, or a human who’s just always had the hots for her. Whoever you are, it doesn’t matter who you are, or what species you are. Whooing Applejack is one thing, but winning her heart is another, probably one of the hardest things you will probably do in your life, but with plenty of patience, your work will surely pay off. You will be put through a lot, and your strength, stamina, and your patience will be tested. So if you are reading this guide, you agree that you are willing to commit to dating AJ, and the challenges that can and will come from it. So without further ado, let us get on with it! 1 - Applejack is a farmer, I am sure you are aware of that by now. If you are not, then there you go, I just saved you a conversation with her. You may think that this will not concern you, but trust me, it probably will. 2 - Applejack comes from the infamous Apple family (Don’t be alarmed, it isn’t an organized crime syndicate or a cult, like I first thought,) who value family first, above all else. The Apple family has a very strong bond, toughed over generations of ponies, and Applejack’s family in Ponyville is no exception. You will have to become acquainted with every member of the family if you hope to survive. Luckily, the family is very friendly, you’ll be accepted in no time at all if you play your cards right. The household is comprised of three members, not including AJ. Going from youngest to oldest, there’s Apple Bloom, a young filly who will always be easy to spot by the pink ribbon in her mane. We’ll revisit her later on. Then there’s Big Macintosh, or Big Mac for short. He’s the largest of them all, but don’t be intimidated, he means no harm. Then there’s Granny Smith, the eldest of them all. She’s an old pony, partly deaf, and slightly weird. She’ll warm up to you in no time. 3 - You’ll want to learn how to cook. The way to a pony’s heart is through her stomach, after all, so learn how to cook if you don’t already! Trust me, having a warm meal waiting for her after a hard day of work is one of the easiest ways to make her happy. While you’re at it, you’ll also want to learn how to bake. 4 - Find your place. Every Apple plays some role in running the farm, if you start getting closer with AJ, to the point where you start hanging out by the farm more often, you’ll want to make yourself useful. Sorting apples is always an available job. Nopony likes to do it, and with a nearly endless supply of apples, you’ll always be able to do it. No, you probably won’t get paid, but it’ll make AJ happy that you’re pitching in. Applebucking is also another job you can help with if you’re strong enough to kick apples from trees. 4b - In the early days of your relationship, if you help her with her work, Applejack may want to pay you for your efforts. If she pays you with money, never accept. Turn away the money, it’ll mean way more to her than you think. Money on the farm can be a little tight sometimes. If she tries to pay you back with baked goods, then you can always take those! In fact, she might take offense if you don’t! Trust me, she’s a good baker, don’t worry. Just be sure to mention any allergies. 5 - Get a good job. While Applejack will probably care more about you and the content of your character as opposed to your career, she does prefer somepony with a stable career, or at least somepony able to support themselves. So if you’re working at a fast food place selling hayburgers for minimum wage, that’s alright too. Maybe don’t mention your career for a while if that’s the case. Saying you’re going to school is also a good option too, but be honest, for Celestia’s sake! 6 - BE HONEST! Applejack is the element of honesty, and will favor a good and honest relationship where both parties can be well… Honest! Don’t let it get to your head, you’ll know what to do when you encounter situations that require honesty. Just tell the truth, even if you fear it might hurt AJ. 7 - Don’t give AJ any money. As I mentioned above, yes, sometimes money can be hard to come by on the farm, especially during the winter months, but never, under any circumstances, give AJ any money or ask her if she needs some. She has a thing about taking money from her friends, something about worrying that they think she isn’t able to support her family, or something like that. In short, she’ll get grumpy, and maybe a little angry. If she really needs help, she’ll come to you. Let her come to you. 8 - Be faithful! Remember how I said how Applejack wants a good and honest relationship? Well, part of that is being a faithful boy/girlfriend! If you aren’t going to be able to commit to Applejack, then maybe it’s time to rethink everything. Open relationships are a little tricky, so if you do want to make things more casual, have a talk with AJ, but chances are the answer will be no. 9 - Let’s go back to Apple Bloom for a little. There are a few things about her that you’ll need to know as well since it’ll be impossible to be in a relationship with Applejack without seeing Apple Bloom. First things first, Applejack is pretty much her mother, so know that Apple Bloom will always come first. You should also know that should things go smoothly, and you begin to find a place in the family, you will likely find yourself looking after Apple Bloom on rare occasions. Applejack will mostly do most of the work, but just in case, here are a few precautionary tips, just in case you make it this far: 9a - Apple Bloom is mostly independent. On weekdays, she will walk to and from school every day. Somedays, she will return with homework, which will need to be finished before she goes out with her friends. Do not worry, Apple Bloom is only in elementary school, so it probably won’t be too difficult for you. On weekends she will mostly hang out with her friends, so long as her chores are finished first. 9b - For the longest time, Apple Bloom and her two closest friends, have been trying everything and anything they can to earn their cutie marks. This involves doing every single activity they can think of in an attempt to find their special talent. Usually, their little stunts are performed away from the acres, but in case they’re not, kindly ensure that they are at least 50 feet away from the barn and not attempting to do anything that involves fire, chemicals, sharp things, or love potions. 9c - Last but not least, you should know that Apple Bloom deals with bullies. She is a tough little filly, but she can’t tough out everything those jerks throw at her, and I cannot say I blame her. If you can, poke your head in her bedroom, and offer kind words and a hug if she lets you. It’ll go a long way. There is one last thing I feel I should mention. The Apple family here in Ponyville has a secret. A secret few ponies know about. You see, when Applejack was very young, and Apple Bloom was a newborn filly, AJ’s parents tragically passed away. A horrible fate that tore a hole in the family that for years, seemed to be unrepairable… Until you came along. The truth is, Applejack has always wanted someone to try and fill that hole. Apple Bloom has always wanted someone she could look up to as a father or a mother, Granny has always wanted another mouth to feed, and Big Mac… I’m not sure what he wants. I know this is a lot to ask, and I know you can probably replace AJ’s mother and father… But what you can do is bring them all something they’ve been missing for a long time. Happiness. Happiness and hope. You can do that by winning AJ’s heart and becoming that missing link in their family. I know it’s a lot to put on you, but you will never be alone. Applejack will be with you every step of the way, and soon, if you’re lucky, you’ll become her significant other, and soon, a part of the Apple family. You will improve their lives in ways I don’t think I can describe. So go now. Win that mare’s love, and save the Apple family. I know you can. I may have given you the advice you will need to succeed, but everything else is up to you. Good luck. Author's Note AJ best pony <3 How to survive dating FluttershyHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. So you’ve fallen in love with the most introverted, quiet, socially awkward Pegasus in Equestria? I mean, who wouldn’t? She is pretty cute, after all. A little weird, but hey, everypony can be weird, that’s just what makes us unique! I know my readers are going to skip to the chapter that focuses on the pony they wish to romance. I am going to state right now that out of all the ponies in this guide, Fluttershy is probably going to be the EASIEST one to romance. Why is that? I’ll tell you why. Fluttershy is a simple mare, living in a small cottage in Ponyville. She mostly keeps to herself, and at first glance, there isn’t much that’s remarkable about her to the untrained pony. Now because there won’t be a lot of hoops that you’ll need to jump through to ensure success on your quest, doesn’t mean this is going to be a walk in the park. Fluttershy is a very timid mare, and you are going to need a lot of patience above all else. You need to be willing to wait for her to come out of her shell around you, you need to be ready to deal with her quirks and all the little things about her, even if they are a little strange. Fluttershy is probably the most harmless mare on this list, and you could probably do this all by yourself, but still, there are some things for you to know beforehoof that’ll prepare you for the things you need to expect when dating Fluttershy… 1 - Fluttershy has a few skills, some of which nopony knows about. But she has one skill that sets her apart from all the others: Her kinship with animals. Nopony knows why she’s able to tame even the fiercest of beasts, making friends out of creatures that would normally tear a pony to shreds, or how she can train animals, and even communicate with them! This kind of gift is practically unheard of, with only highly skilled unicorns able to perform such feats with magic. What Fluttershy does is 100 percent natural, with no strings attached. This, of course, is very good to know in of itself, but there are a few other things you’ll want to know too: 1a - As someone who loves animals, Fluttershy has a few pets herself. Some of them live around her cottage or around the forest, visiting whenever they seek food or shelter, and some live in her home. One of these house pets is a little white bunny called ‘Angel Bunny,’ Fluttershy’s beloved companion. Whenever she goes out, Fluttershy usually leaves him alone with food and water, but sometimes when she is gone for longer periods, she prefers somepony to stay at her home to keep him company. You will have to learn how to take care of the stubborn little shit. Ask Fluttershy lots of questions, and be ready to write anything down. For the most part, all you need to worry about is food, which Fluttershy will usually leave out in the fridge. Angel can be a bit of a picky eater, but bribing with treats seems to work just fine. A bit of advice, He also likes his carrots warm. 1b - Fluttershy knows A LOT about animals. Fluttershy doesn’t talk much, but the topic of animals will turn her into a real chatterbox. Just please try to listen, maybe even try to contribute to the conversation with questions. She’ll love having someone to talk animals with her. 1c -Fluttershy loves animal documentaries, but please, before you show her one she’s never seen before, make sure you watch it by yourself first. If there are any animal deaths shown, pick another one. If you don’t, Fluttershy will see it, get sad, and maybe cry. That won’t be fun for you or her. Oh, and animals fighting (for dominance or mating rights or whatever. Don’t put on documentaries that show this. 1d - Don’t show documentaries that show mating either. She is a very fragile pony! 2 - Fluttershy is a vegetarian. Okay, technically nobody in this world of ponies eats meat, but if you’re a human trying to whoo her, maybe it’s time to rethink your diet, if possible. 3 - Fluttershy loves kind words and sometimes, if you’re lucky, physical affection. Pick-up lines that aren’t too mature will do the trick. If you succeed, then she’ll look away with a blush on her face. This will be the perfect moment for you to hold her hoof, wrap your tail around hers, or nuzzle her cheek. This is the only physical affection she’ll tolerate, so please be mindful. 4 - Fluttershy is usually up for any sort of activities for dates that you choose. However, please refrain from dragging Fluttershy to bars, nightclubs, sporting events, concerts, or any other event or place that is loud, violent inappropriate, or so crowded you can hardly even move. Oh, and watching the dragon migration is not something she’ll enjoy either. On second thought, maybe it’s best to stick with quiet dinners, walks around town, or nights at home. 5 - Don’t go inside the shed in the back of her cottage. No, there aren’t skeletons mounted on her walls or anything like you’re led to believe, but you still shouldn’t enter another pony’s property without their permission. 6 - You may find Fluttershy singing on occasion. When she notices you took notice of that, she’ll stop singing and look away, embarrassed. When she does, just give her a gentle smile, or encourage her to keep going. It’ll mean a lot more to her than you think. This however brings us to our next point. 7 - Fluttershy has very little self-esteem. You’ll probably hear her say things like: ‘Why do you like me so much?’ ‘You can do so much better than me,’ or ‘I’m sorry I’m wasting your time.’ If you really love her, you’ll do your best to counter these yucky statements and tell her how you feel about her. It will take a bit of convincing, but soon, she will hold herself more confidently around you, and it’ll be all thanks to you! 8 - Don’t let Fluttershy get drunk. She’s very strange when she gets drunk. Yes, she’s a lot more outgoing when she’s wasted, but there is such a thing as TOO outgoing. 9 - Throughout Fluttershy’s kitchen, you may find containers containing snacks that resemble cookies or little cakes! Whatever you do, do NOT eat them, Fluttershy bakes ‘pastries’ which are safe for her animal friends to consume, and keeps them in the same place she keeps the pony food, so please be cautious before you help yourself to a snack. 10 - Flusttershy is also pretty good at fixing up animals who are injured or suffering from illness. If she’s ever in any situations that require an extra pair of hooves (or hands!) then help her any way you can. In dire situations, Fluttershy does tend to panic, which will hinder her work. 11 - Please do not try to playfully ‘scare’ Fluttershy. She HATES it, and that’s probably one of the only things that’ll make her angry. 12 - Don’t make Fluttershy angry. Seriously, you do not want to deal with an angry Fluttershy. Trust me. Alternatively, if you find her angry, stay a good 100-200 feet away from her, and, if you dare, try to calm her down, if possible. 13 - Sometimes small spiders will find their way into Fluttershy’s home. This is an occurrence that happens very frequently to everypony. Unfortunately, Fluttershy has arachnophobia and will evacuate whatever room the spider has chosen to stay in, and in dire circumstances, will abandon her home altogether. If you are there when this happens, or you’re able to rescue her from the eight-legged horror, do what you would normally do and put it in a cup and take it outside, or just kill it. Actually, scratch that. Just remove it. 14 - NEVER under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES should you allow Fluttershy to see a butterfly up close. She loves butterflies, and for somepony like her, I am surprised she hasn’t seen a picture of what they look like up close. It isn’t THAT bad, but it will certainly startle somepony as fragile as Fluttershy and will scar her for life. Yep, that’s everything! Quirks aside, Fluttershy is a fairly normal pony, and I would like to imagine that even someone who has no experience with dating will make things work quite well with Fluttershy. No matter what happens, I wish you all the best! However, before I let you go, I feel I should leave you with a little warning: If it isn’t already clear by now, Fluttershy is extremely, well, shy, and I cannot stress this enough. She may hardly even speak a single word to you when you two first meet, and it’ll take her a long time to begin to trust you and come out of her shell, and even when she finally does, it will still take a long time before you really see the true Fluttershy. All that I ask is that you have patience with her, and are willing to put in the time to allow her to blossom like the flower that she is. If you are willing to make that commitment, then I think you two will do just fine… Good luck! Author's Note Hey hey hey What'd I tell y'all about COMING IN MA SHED How to survive dating Rainbow DashHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. Are you ready to become 20 percent cooler and take the challenge of trying to date the greatest Pegasus in Equestria? Well, no you’re not. This pony is completely out of your league… Or so many are led to believe! For you see, even though Rainbow Dash may be confident, successful, courageous, and noble, she is just, deep down, just another pony. Don’t let what she does or what she has done intimidate you. Celebrities are usually never what they seem when you meet them in person most of the time, however, Rainbow Dash is an exception. She is quite friendly, and you’ll be surprised to learn that she actually resides in the humble town of Ponyville! Rainbow Dash can be a bit of a wild card, however, and it can be tough to impress her, as well as keep up with her, so I have curated a short list of things you can do to hopefully make this a little easier for you! Follow these steps, and Rainbow Dash will practically be begging you to be her marefriend! Probably. Probably not. 1 - Be a Pegasus. This isn’t exactly something you can control, but Rainbow Dash will always prefer somepony who can fly. If you’re a human or a unicorn or Earth pony and trying to romance her, then your chances have just gotten a little harder. Hard, but not impossible. 1a - If you cannot fly, there is another thing you can try. Be athletic. It doesn’t matter if you’re a horse or human, Rainbow Dash will always fall head over hooves for a physically active person. Play a sport, lift weights, run long distances, show commitment and skill at an athletic skill. Rainbow Dash will love that almost as much as she loves folks who can fly! 2 - Be a fan of the Wonderbolts! Chances are you already are one, if you like Rainbow Dash, but if you don’t, then become a fan! After all, Rainbow Dash is a part of them, for crying out loud! Have a poster or something of her in your home, or show excitement when she starts talking about them, maybe even ask her if you could come to a practice session, she will love that! 3 - Know how to pick the perfect dates. Rainbow Dash dislikes boring things, so maybe think twice about fancy dinners or walks through a park or town… You’re going to want to do something exciting! Go to a buckball game, go to a concert, order takeout at home… Romantic, formal options for dates are off the table, but keep in mind that with Rainbow Dash, romance will happen in its own time! 4 - Give her lots of opportunities to show off! Rainbow Dash has a bit of an ego and LOVES showing off her flight skills. Give her challenges and dares, or just ask her to see something cool, and every time she will deliver without any hesitation. She will take it as a challenge! Act impressed when she does these things. Like I said, she had a big ego. She will eat up your praise! Do be sure to stay and watch when she is practicing her flying, with time she will grow to love you watching her, and it’ll brighten up her day. 5 - Physical affection is kind of a grey area when it comes to Rainbow Dash, so keep them to a minimum when you’re hanging out with her, just like I said during tip number three, it’ll come on its own time! 6 - Rainbow Dash is a VERY outgoing pony, and will probably have her calendar filled with outings she’s planned with friends, if she isn’t doing anything, she is probably practicing her flying or soaring through Ponyville doing Celestia knows what. Being able to get dates with her will be tough, but as she gets closer to you, you will become more of a priority for her, and she will put in an effort to spend time with you. She may even ask YOU on a date… 6a - Expanding on this, Rainbow Dash has a habit of being late to things. She may also forget entirely when you both proposed to meet. While this is going to be frustrating, you are going to want to be patient with her. A good percent of the time, she doesn’t mean to forget about you… Although only sometimes. 7 - Gifts are always greatly appreciated, however, you are going to want to know what she likes before you go ahead and try to give her things, otherwise it’s going to lead to awkward situations ending with your gift in the garbage. Flowers are a terrible option. Books are one of the best things you can give that pony, I explain more below: 8 - Rainbow Dash likes the read, it isn’t something she often cares to admit to other ponies, but it’s true. She started reading action/adventure stories, but soon branched off into other genres, settling on one of the most eggheaded genres a pony could enjoy: Romance. Now THAT is a secret not very ponies know about. I’m pretty sure she killed the last pony who learned about it (only kidding,) but as stated above, books are a great gift to give. Knowing what she likes to read is also something else you should know. She loves the Daring Do franchise and the ongoing adult romance novel: ‘The Dawn Chronicles.’ Learn more about these books, you don’t even have to read them, just learn enough to keep a conversation going, Rainbow Dash will LOVE to meet another fan of her favorite books. She also writes fanfiction, do what you want with that information. 8a - Do not under any circumstances let anypony know about her love for romance novels. If you do, I don’t think I can even begin to imagine your fate. 9 - Rainbow Dash is a drinker. She isn’t addicted or anything, only drinking once or twice a week… but sometimes, she can get a little carried away, as she tends to do with all things in life. If she doesn’t try and get you to drink along with her, remain sober so you can help get her home and into bed. She’ll greatly appreciate it… If she even remembers it. Flying while inebriated is a good way to get yourself killed, and she knows it!! 10 - In the early days of your relationship, don’t call her ‘Crash.’ That nickname is reserved for the Wonderbolts… And maybe you, one day, if she trusts you enough to start playfully calling you the nickname she’s carried since she was a filly. And yep, that’s all you need to know! Once again, I am going to remind you not to be intimidated by Dash, because at the end of the day, she’s just another pony. It won’t be easy, but if you have patience, and let things happen naturally, then you will find yourself with Rainbow Dash, the most awesome pony in the world, as your special somepony! Oh right. Once again, there is something I forgot to mention. You see, Rainbow Dash has a lot of fans, no doubt, but there is one fan that is very special to her. Her name is Scootaloo, she’s a little filly, about maybe six years old or so. Like any young pegasus, Rainbow Dash is someone Scootaloo aspires to be one day. If there was a pony to define the term; ‘Biggest fan,’ then Scootaloo would be the pony for it. That child ADORES Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash, despite not being all too good with children, has taken her under her wing. Scootaloo’s life was perfect when Rainbow took her on as her honorary sister… But the truth is, her life isn’t perfect. For you see, Scootaloo is an orphan, she always has been since she was abandoned as a newborn. It took a long time for Rainbow Dash to find out that that sweet, innocent child hid a horrible secret. Since then, she has started going through the process of trying to adopt Scootaloo, and she is working tirelessly to make this a reality, but even then, Rainbow isn’t sure she will be worthy enough to adopt her. In true Rainbow Dash fashion, however, she will never give up. Soon, she may trust you with this secret, and you will have to support her on this journey of adopting a child. No, there isn’t much you can do to help her or speed this lengthy process up, but what you can do is support her as a marefriend-to-be, and just doing that will mean much more than anything on this list. I wish you the best of luck… Author's Note This story is now 20% cooler How to Survive Dating Twilight SparkleHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. So you’ve fallen in love with Twilight Sparkle. Otherwise known as the book horse, or as Princess Celestia’s most faithful student. Let me assure you right now that trying to date Twilight Sparkle will not be an easy task. Unlike all the other ponies on this list, who will be difficult ponies to romance for many reasons, Twilight is different, because well, she isn’t exactly looking for love! For right now, Twilight’s main focus is finding friendship and not love. Meaning that it’ll be up to you to knock her off her hooves and show her that you are one desirable mare/stallion/human that she cannot live without! Please know that this means you might remain (and may even stay) in the friendship territory for who knows how long. I cannot even guarantee you’ll make it that far. Worry not, however. For with these tips I am about to present to you, you will find your task easy as pie! Better start taking notes! 1 - Twilight Sparkle is Princess Celestia’s loyal protege. Princess Celestia, as in the royal immortal alicorn who has magic so powerful she can raise and lower the sun like it’s nothing, just to clarify. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to name your children after the princesses, but perhaps that’s an older law. Anyways, if you end up getting closer to Twilight Sparkle, she may take you to meet her mentor. You will need to be prepared for this, as Celestia is, after all, a very powerful pony. Be polite and respectful. Bow when she addresses you for the first time, kiss her hoof for it is the respectful thing to do. Just pretend like she isn’t a pony that can send you to the moon or something and don’t let her height or royal aura intimidate you. She’s a really friendly pony, I swear. 1a - If you by chance encounter Princess Luna, follow the same tips above. In fact, I should make a guide on what to do if she visits your dreams… I guess the only tip I can give you for now is don’t have saucy dreams. 2 - Part of Twilight’s mentorship with Princess Celestia requires her to solve a ‘friendship problem’ and write about it to the Princess. She is required to write one once a week. Some weeks, however, there will be no problems that need solving. Every day that passes by without a problem will slowly but surely worry Twilight more and more, until on the final day when her letter is due by midday, she snaps, asking any and all ponies if they have any problems in a panic, even going so far as to trying to cause a friendship problem to solve. If she gets in this panicked state, please try and help her calm down as best as you can. Reassure her that she will not be sent back to friendship kindergarten, and help her write a letter to Celestia telling her that the week has been peaceful 3 - Twilight LOVES to read. As such, books will, and always will, be the perfect topic for conversation, or the perfect thing to give her as a gift! She enjoys nonfiction, mostly about magic, and she enjoys fairy tales as well! 4 - Sooner or later you will find out one of Twilight Sparkle’s darkest secrets: She writes fanfiction. Of course, nopony will ever know what she writes in these fan works, for the place she writes them is better protected than the elements of harmony, but if you ever find her writing it (which you will,) be kind and supportive, and don’t laugh, no matter how bad it is 5 - Twilight will frequently conduct experiments. Usually having to do with magic, but sometimes it’ll be something completely different. Chances are, she will rope you into them if you seem eager enough. You’re going to want to go through with whatever she puts you through. Learn the scientific method, learn how to give good theories, hypotheses, and conclusions, pay close attention, and talk as intelligently as she does. Twilight LOVES smart ponies. 6 - If you yourself are a unicorn, then learn magic. Better yet, ask Twilight to teach you, she will love being able to nerd out and tell you everything she knows. In fact, if you ask her to give you a friendship lesson, she’ll get as excited as a foal on Hearths Warming Eve. 7 - Learn the names of important magical ponies, scientists, and alicorns, as well as some information about them. I cannot stress this enough: Twilight loves smart ponies. 8 - Twilight lives in a library in the center of town. Usually, she lends the books there to her friends. From time to time, ask Twilight if you can borrow a book. You’re going to want to ask to borrow the following books: ‘A Beginners Guide to Alicorn Magic,’ ‘Expert Magic - The Complete Guide,’ ‘Freaky Beasts and Where to Find Them,’ ‘The Crazy Guide to Curses and counter-curses,’ ‘The In-depth Guide to Equestria,’ ‘the truth of humans’ and of course, ‘Good night, Sun.’ her favorite book as a filly. 9 - If Twilight gets more comfortable around you, she may try her luck at a pick-up line, and she will do this by consulting a book and reading the first thing she sees, even if it sounds absolutely horrible or inappropriate. Flirting isn’t exactly Twilight’s forte, but she’s trying her best, so please be patient! There is one more thing I have to share before I turn you away. You see, Twilight is a very fortunate pony to have everything that she has, and many might even say that she has a perfect life. This could not be farther from the truth. Okay, in actuality, she does have a great life… There is just one thing about it that no magic can fix. Twilight has something smarter ponies call ‘Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,’ or just OCD. OCD is a terrible mental disorder, and while I’m not the pony to ask about it, what I do know is that it can negatively affect a pony’s life. Twilight has certain rituals she has to do, and while she tries to hide them, ponies still notice, often dismissing it as Twilight just being her usual perfectionist self. And while sometimes this may be true (she can be a bit of a perfectionist,) it will be easy to tell the difference between her making sure everything is just right and her little rituals. For example, she washes her hooves before handling her books when not grabbing them with magic. She will sometimes touch random objects in hoof’s reach like the edge of a table or the side of a shelf, and sometimes she’ll repeat stuff to herself, counting all the times she’s done it in her head. Nopony will never understand what goes through Twilight’s head when she does these things. Even Princess Celestia noticed it, and when she asked Twilight about it, she shouted at her. She raised her voice to her mentor and closest friend. It won’t take you long for you to catch her doing these things, and I can’t lie, it will hurt to watch. You won’t know what to do, just like I did back then. If you ever see her struggling, Just please, be gentle with her about it, don’t make fun of her, don’t say stuff like: ‘Just don’t do it.’ Try to calm her down, de-escalate the situation, and maybe distract her somehow, if you can. There are no words to describe how thankful she will be to have someone to help pull her through that. Maybe, with your help, she will finally do the one thing ponies have been telling her to do for years: Seek the help that she needs. Twilight is not alone in this battle. She will have you, and with your help, you can put this pony back on track, back to her geeky, magical self. I wish you the best of luck, my friend… How to Survive Dating Pinkie PieHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. Pinkie Pie. Pinkamena Diane Pie. You’ve fallen in love with the party pony, now what? If you’re a person who doesn’t have much experience in the art of dating, then you’re in luck. Unlike all the other mares on this list, Pinkie Pie will be the easiest mare in this series to romance, even easier than Fluttershy! You probably won’t even need my help with this, you’ll probably figure it out all on your own! However, like all things in life, it’s always good to be prepared. Pinkie is a very odd pony, and every moment you spend with her is going to be a surprise. You’re going to need to be ready for all the things she’s going to throw at you and learn how to combat some situations you will find yourself in. Worry not, for Pinkie Pie is perfectly harmless and always means well. Kind of, but anyway, let’s get on with it! 1 - Pinkie Pie works at the Sugarcube Corner in Ponyville as a baker, salespony, and party planner. Most of your time spent with her will probably be in Sugarcube Corner, sampling all sorts of baked goods, mostly cupcakes. Always bring an appetite, because you’ll always be given something to eat when you come through those doors. 1a - Learn to bake! Aside from throwing parties, baking is Pinkie’s favorite thing to do, so it’ll only make sense to learn the art of baking. Don’t ask her to teach you, however, because she isn’t the greatest teacher in Equestria. You’re better off going to a class, or teaching yourself if you’re brave. 2 - Don’t talk about Cupcakes HD 3 - Prepare for pranks. Pinkie Pie is quite the jokester, and as you start to get closer to her, she will add YOU to her list of targets for her little pranks. Don’t worry, usually these pranks are harmless. Not only should you expect to be the victim of pranks, but you should also take it upon yourself to ‘return the favor,’ if you know what I mean. Pinkie will love the competition! Also, maybe invest in a football helmet. 4 - You’ll soon learn before too long that Pinkie has a pet. What is it? Oh nothing, just an alligator. No, I’m not kidding, in a world like this, that shouldn’t be too surprising, and yet, it is. Anyways, Gummy (That’s his name, it’s adorable) is mostly harmless, because he doesn’t have any teeth. He does, however, bite. A lot. Pinkie might ask you to take care of the little guy when she goes off to do whatever it is she does, and so to prepare you for this, here’s everything you’ll have to do to keep him safe and happy: 4a - Floss him once a day before bedtime. I don’t know why Pinkie does this, but you’ll learn to not question everything Pinkie does after a while. 4b - Because he has no teeth, Gummy has a liquid diet. Make sure he is fed three times a day. He likes cupcake frosting, so you may give him some as a treat. 4c - Don’t put him in water, he can’t swim, he’ll just float to the bottom like a rock 4d - If you see Gummy simply staring off into space, not blinking and making little growls, that means he’s asleep. It’s a little creepy, actually. 5 - Pinkie Pie LOVES affection. She will not object to nuzzles, scritches under her chin, boops to her nose, ruffles of her mane, and hugs. Lots and lots and lots of hugs. If you hold your hands or hooves out, she will zoom towards you to hug you so fast she’ll probably break the sound barrier 6 - If you play your cards right, soon, Pinkie will start inviting you to every party she throws. That’s right, every single one. Birthday parties, graduation parties, parties for a party, she’ll invite you, even if you have no interest in going to some random pony’s cutesnceanera. If you can, always accept these invitations, if not, please be honest with her and tell her you don’t want to go, or can’t for some reason, maybe a dentist appointment or something. She hates people who lie to her more than she hates people turning down invitations. 7 - Please be aware that Pinkie Pie has NO concept of personal space. As such, expect her to get up in your business with no warning. 8 - It’s no secret that Pinkie Pie is not very good at keeping secrets. If you trust her with a childhood story you beg her not to tell anypony else, expect all of Ponyville to know about it by the end of the day. Consider this your only warning! 9 - Promises, however, are a different story. Legends tell of a mythical oath, a pact sealed with the powers of trust and friendship, a binding so sacred, that it is regarded as but a myth. This oath is known as the Pinkie Promise. This is no ordinary promise. Making a Pinkie Promise with her is the highest honor a pony can have, but it comes at a heavy price: Should you break a Pinkie promise, your relationship with Pinkie will fall to pieces, and the world as we know it will end… Probably. Monologues aside, don’t break a Pinkie Promise. Just don’t. And there we go. That is all the things you need to know before dating Pinkie Pie. Of course, there is way, way more to tell you, but I don’t think I can even begin to imagine how much writing that would take. Pinkie Pie may seem like a simple, silly pony who likes to throw parties, eat cupcakes, and give hugs, but there is far more to that pony than one might expect. I could probably fill an entire book with stuff about her if I wanted to. What I have provided you with is only a small fraction of information, if you are going to take up this challenge, you are going to need to prepare yourself for anything, and yes, I mean anything. But you should also open up your heart, for Pinkie Pie, once you win her trust and love, will love you more than any other pony could. I hope you’re ready for hugs. Lots of hugs. Congratulations, reader. You have successfully read my guide on how to date all of the Mane 6. If you have made it this far, I hope you know that your romantic endevours will now to ten times easier with this knowledge in mind. With this newfound skill, you could probably date all six of these legendary mares like how I once did, and maybe, you’ll actually be able to find the one you wish to spend the rest of your life with, instead of being dumped by all of them like I did. However, even if you masted that, there is still one thing left to do: There are other ponies out there. More power, more magic, and more beauty. That’s right, I am talking about the princesses. If a mortal pony or human can romance an alicorn princess, then one automatically becomes a living legend, a god among the citizens of Equestria. Of course, nobody has ever accomplished such things, not for generations, but perhaps that is bound to change… Once again, my name is Lucky Lovestruck, and this has been… How to survive dating the Mane 6 The end!! Author's Note Life is a party
How to survive dating RarityHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. Some may know me as a very desirable pony, able to pick up love interests and marefriends with ease, and others may know me as someone who gets dumped and/or cheated on a lot. I soon realized during my quest to find my very special somepony that I am better at advising others on finding their better half rather than trying to find one myself. Ever since that cutie mark appeared on my flank, I have devoted my life to trying to help ponies find their perfect match, (This is not necessarily true, I am actually a security guard at the Canterlot Mall, but that is a story for another day.) and I must say that I am pretty good at what I do, and YOU, my dear reader, you shall be my greatest client yet. I have heard that you find yourself attracted to one of the heroic mares that have defended Equestria. Don’t try and deny it! Worry not, your secrets are safe with me. Most of, if not all of these ponies are completely out of your league, and that is okay! It just means you are going to have to work harder for it! In this five-page guide, you will find instructions on how to survive dating all five of those mares. All you need to do is follow the instructions of the pony your heart desires! In this guide, we will be talking about this lovely mare named Rarity. You have likely heard of her by word of mouth. Rarity runs a boutique in Ponyville, and her creations have become so popular, that they have even caught the attention of the elite mares and stallions all the way in Canterlot, and even the Crystal Empire! Winning Rarity’s love is no easy task, you will be asked to jump through countless hoops, and if unprepared, you will be faced with a cold shoulder and disappointment. But never fear! Follow these instructions to the letter and you should have her in your arms (or hooves!) in no time! 1 - First things first, it helps to have a good background when it comes to impressing Rarity. First off, you’re going to want to not have a criminal record. Rarity cares very deeply about her reputation, so if you have a record, chances are she will not be interested! Being wealthy or a royal helps, but is not required. Imagine being an average joe the equivalent of picking ‘expert’ mode in a video game. 2 - Learn some manners. Learn how to be respectful at the dinner table. If you’re a male, always rise when she enters the room, for example. Practice having a good posture and stick to it diligently. Looking respectful is a major part of impressing Rarity! 3 - Practice good hygiene. This is a general rule when it comes to dating anypony, so I’m not going to mention this anymore because it’s pretty much common sense. 4 - If you end up catching her fancy, she may ask you to join her at her boutique to try on her newest creations and mane-dos (if applicable.) Whatever she may do to you, whatever happens, NEVER protest. Yes, it may be weird and uncomfortable, but surely you can spare an hour of your time to make Rarity happy, right? 5 - Learn how to flirt with her. Traditional pick-up lines and things like that won’t interest Rarity. You’re going to want to throw compliments around like confetti. ‘Nice mane,’ ‘nice coat,’ ‘love what you did to your mane this morning!’ to name a few. She will eat that stuff up. If all else fails, you can always use the piece of resistance, your trump card… The ‘B’ word. No, not that one. Beautiful. Trust me, she’s a sucker for hearing how beautiful and attractive she is. 6 - Rarity LOVES gifts. You’re going to want to give gifts often. Rarity is a pony of poise and class, and will turn away cheap gifts. Jewelry such as necklaces and braces (But not earrings, as she doesn’t have her ears pierced,) are always appreciated, Be warned, however. She is not stupid and can tell the difference between real and fake jewelry. If you cannot afford such things, then flowers or boxes of chocolate are always good options 7 - Be willing to take care of her sister. Rarity can sometimes be very busy, with deadlines to make for clients and such, and cannot afford distractions. Rarity has a younger sister named Sweetie Belle, who, although she means well, will sometimes distract her. Sometimes Rarity will need peace and quiet in her workplace, and or be unable to do her work and take care of Sweetie Belle. So sometimes, Rarity will pop in unannounced and leave her with you. You need to be prepared for this. Don’t worry, though. Sweetie Belle is harmless. Very sweet, and pretty independent. We will come back to her later on. 8 - Learn French. This is mostly an optional thing, but hear me out. Rarity CAN speak a little French, to make herself seem fancy and sophisticated, but she isn’t fluent in it. Rarity thinks it’s a marvalous, enchanting language, and would love to speak it one day. That said, she loves ponies who can speak it. So if you want an easier time, maybe it’s time to pick up a new language… 9 - Rarity may sometimes ask for criticism from you on dresses she’s created. You’re going to want to be honest when she does. Honest, but not brutally honest. In other words, if you hate it, don’t make a big fuss about it, just try to guide her in the right direction if possible. She hates it when ponies lie about her creations, and hate it even more when they’re too hard on her 10 - A bit more about Sweetie Belle. On weekdays, Sweetie Belle will go to school, and she can walk to and from school with no problems. Rarity will likely insist you walk her there, though. On weekends or after school, she is free to go play with her friends if her homework is done, and she is back for dinner. Most days, she will go out with her friends, but sometimes she may stay in. If she was sent to your place, it’s likely she was bothering Rarity, and she dumped her on you to get her out of the way. She’s a very sweet, imaginative little girl, so I am sure you and her will find something to do. Oh yes, and please make sure she stays out of trouble and out of harm, maybe learn CPR or something. Rarity will thank you for watching her, and may even reward you handsomely for allowing her the time to work uninterrupted! 11 - Rarity is not the outdoorsy type of mare, and tends to enjoy quiet, candle-light dinners or strolls through Ponyville at night. Consider various activities like those when planning out dates. Oh, and shopping is another favorite activity of hers. She also enjoys wine tasting, painting, and going to plays and operas. 11a - Take caution, though! For shopping may be a bit expensive with Rarity. And there you have it. Even though Rarity may seem a little tightly-wound and boring, I can esure you that every day spent with her will not be uneventful, and will be filled with new experiences, laugher, love, and a new chapter of your life centered around this wonderful mare! Oh… There is just one more thing I forgot to mention. Rarity… Although her life may seem glamorous… Is hiding a secret. A secret nopony knows. You see… Ever since she began her career making dresses for the most elite of the elite, Rarity has earned herself a reputation. She has gone to parties, events, and shows, blowing away ponies with her stunning looks and outfits, earning a loyal fanbase, and picking up countless admirers… All of this, however, has come with a terrible price. As she began attending more and more of these fashion shows, posing for magazines, going to parties that even the princesses themselves showed up too, ponies in charge of these events and gatherings all told Rarity one thing: That she was fat. At first, Rarity took offense to this, sticking up her head and paying no attention to the blastfamous remarks. But soon, it became too much for Rarity to handle, until eventually, when she looked in the mirror, she saw not a beautiful mare, but a fat, revolting creature. So she began to starve herself, putting herself on a strict diet with soon led to her neglecting meals. When her friends caught on, they got her the help she needed to combat this, but even today, she still has trouble eating, worried she will eat too much, and one day, ponies may tell her what they told her before. You will notice her hesitation during meals, you may notice she turns down seconds or dessert even though she has barely eaten. You will need to be ready for this. Eventually, she may trust you enough to tell you this, you have to give her your word that you will not tell anyone, but most importantly, you will have to support her through this battle, being the best partner you can be, help her change and realize she is perfect, just the way she is. I have given you the tools you need to get her to fall in love with you, but I’m not dating her, you are. The rest of this is all up to you, but I know that you can do it. You got this.
How to survive dating ApplejackHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. So you’re interested in dating Applejack, the farmer pony, the mare in charge of Sweet Apple Acres. Maybe you’re an Earth pony who caught her eye in the Ponyville marketplace, or a human who’s just always had the hots for her. Whoever you are, it doesn’t matter who you are, or what species you are. Whooing Applejack is one thing, but winning her heart is another, probably one of the hardest things you will probably do in your life, but with plenty of patience, your work will surely pay off. You will be put through a lot, and your strength, stamina, and your patience will be tested. So if you are reading this guide, you agree that you are willing to commit to dating AJ, and the challenges that can and will come from it. So without further ado, let us get on with it! 1 - Applejack is a farmer, I am sure you are aware of that by now. If you are not, then there you go, I just saved you a conversation with her. You may think that this will not concern you, but trust me, it probably will. 2 - Applejack comes from the infamous Apple family (Don’t be alarmed, it isn’t an organized crime syndicate or a cult, like I first thought,) who value family first, above all else. The Apple family has a very strong bond, toughed over generations of ponies, and Applejack’s family in Ponyville is no exception. You will have to become acquainted with every member of the family if you hope to survive. Luckily, the family is very friendly, you’ll be accepted in no time at all if you play your cards right. The household is comprised of three members, not including AJ. Going from youngest to oldest, there’s Apple Bloom, a young filly who will always be easy to spot by the pink ribbon in her mane. We’ll revisit her later on. Then there’s Big Macintosh, or Big Mac for short. He’s the largest of them all, but don’t be intimidated, he means no harm. Then there’s Granny Smith, the eldest of them all. She’s an old pony, partly deaf, and slightly weird. She’ll warm up to you in no time. 3 - You’ll want to learn how to cook. The way to a pony’s heart is through her stomach, after all, so learn how to cook if you don’t already! Trust me, having a warm meal waiting for her after a hard day of work is one of the easiest ways to make her happy. While you’re at it, you’ll also want to learn how to bake. 4 - Find your place. Every Apple plays some role in running the farm, if you start getting closer with AJ, to the point where you start hanging out by the farm more often, you’ll want to make yourself useful. Sorting apples is always an available job. Nopony likes to do it, and with a nearly endless supply of apples, you’ll always be able to do it. No, you probably won’t get paid, but it’ll make AJ happy that you’re pitching in. Applebucking is also another job you can help with if you’re strong enough to kick apples from trees. 4b - In the early days of your relationship, if you help her with her work, Applejack may want to pay you for your efforts. If she pays you with money, never accept. Turn away the money, it’ll mean way more to her than you think. Money on the farm can be a little tight sometimes. If she tries to pay you back with baked goods, then you can always take those! In fact, she might take offense if you don’t! Trust me, she’s a good baker, don’t worry. Just be sure to mention any allergies. 5 - Get a good job. While Applejack will probably care more about you and the content of your character as opposed to your career, she does prefer somepony with a stable career, or at least somepony able to support themselves. So if you’re working at a fast food place selling hayburgers for minimum wage, that’s alright too. Maybe don’t mention your career for a while if that’s the case. Saying you’re going to school is also a good option too, but be honest, for Celestia’s sake! 6 - BE HONEST! Applejack is the element of honesty, and will favor a good and honest relationship where both parties can be well… Honest! Don’t let it get to your head, you’ll know what to do when you encounter situations that require honesty. Just tell the truth, even if you fear it might hurt AJ. 7 - Don’t give AJ any money. As I mentioned above, yes, sometimes money can be hard to come by on the farm, especially during the winter months, but never, under any circumstances, give AJ any money or ask her if she needs some. She has a thing about taking money from her friends, something about worrying that they think she isn’t able to support her family, or something like that. In short, she’ll get grumpy, and maybe a little angry. If she really needs help, she’ll come to you. Let her come to you. 8 - Be faithful! Remember how I said how Applejack wants a good and honest relationship? Well, part of that is being a faithful boy/girlfriend! If you aren’t going to be able to commit to Applejack, then maybe it’s time to rethink everything. Open relationships are a little tricky, so if you do want to make things more casual, have a talk with AJ, but chances are the answer will be no. 9 - Let’s go back to Apple Bloom for a little. There are a few things about her that you’ll need to know as well since it’ll be impossible to be in a relationship with Applejack without seeing Apple Bloom. First things first, Applejack is pretty much her mother, so know that Apple Bloom will always come first. You should also know that should things go smoothly, and you begin to find a place in the family, you will likely find yourself looking after Apple Bloom on rare occasions. Applejack will mostly do most of the work, but just in case, here are a few precautionary tips, just in case you make it this far: 9a - Apple Bloom is mostly independent. On weekdays, she will walk to and from school every day. Somedays, she will return with homework, which will need to be finished before she goes out with her friends. Do not worry, Apple Bloom is only in elementary school, so it probably won’t be too difficult for you. On weekends she will mostly hang out with her friends, so long as her chores are finished first. 9b - For the longest time, Apple Bloom and her two closest friends, have been trying everything and anything they can to earn their cutie marks. This involves doing every single activity they can think of in an attempt to find their special talent. Usually, their little stunts are performed away from the acres, but in case they’re not, kindly ensure that they are at least 50 feet away from the barn and not attempting to do anything that involves fire, chemicals, sharp things, or love potions. 9c - Last but not least, you should know that Apple Bloom deals with bullies. She is a tough little filly, but she can’t tough out everything those jerks throw at her, and I cannot say I blame her. If you can, poke your head in her bedroom, and offer kind words and a hug if she lets you. It’ll go a long way. There is one last thing I feel I should mention. The Apple family here in Ponyville has a secret. A secret few ponies know about. You see, when Applejack was very young, and Apple Bloom was a newborn filly, AJ’s parents tragically passed away. A horrible fate that tore a hole in the family that for years, seemed to be unrepairable… Until you came along. The truth is, Applejack has always wanted someone to try and fill that hole. Apple Bloom has always wanted someone she could look up to as a father or a mother, Granny has always wanted another mouth to feed, and Big Mac… I’m not sure what he wants. I know this is a lot to ask, and I know you can probably replace AJ’s mother and father… But what you can do is bring them all something they’ve been missing for a long time. Happiness. Happiness and hope. You can do that by winning AJ’s heart and becoming that missing link in their family. I know it’s a lot to put on you, but you will never be alone. Applejack will be with you every step of the way, and soon, if you’re lucky, you’ll become her significant other, and soon, a part of the Apple family. You will improve their lives in ways I don’t think I can describe. So go now. Win that mare’s love, and save the Apple family. I know you can. I may have given you the advice you will need to succeed, but everything else is up to you. Good luck. Author's Note AJ best pony <3
How to survive dating FluttershyHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. So you’ve fallen in love with the most introverted, quiet, socially awkward Pegasus in Equestria? I mean, who wouldn’t? She is pretty cute, after all. A little weird, but hey, everypony can be weird, that’s just what makes us unique! I know my readers are going to skip to the chapter that focuses on the pony they wish to romance. I am going to state right now that out of all the ponies in this guide, Fluttershy is probably going to be the EASIEST one to romance. Why is that? I’ll tell you why. Fluttershy is a simple mare, living in a small cottage in Ponyville. She mostly keeps to herself, and at first glance, there isn’t much that’s remarkable about her to the untrained pony. Now because there won’t be a lot of hoops that you’ll need to jump through to ensure success on your quest, doesn’t mean this is going to be a walk in the park. Fluttershy is a very timid mare, and you are going to need a lot of patience above all else. You need to be willing to wait for her to come out of her shell around you, you need to be ready to deal with her quirks and all the little things about her, even if they are a little strange. Fluttershy is probably the most harmless mare on this list, and you could probably do this all by yourself, but still, there are some things for you to know beforehoof that’ll prepare you for the things you need to expect when dating Fluttershy… 1 - Fluttershy has a few skills, some of which nopony knows about. But she has one skill that sets her apart from all the others: Her kinship with animals. Nopony knows why she’s able to tame even the fiercest of beasts, making friends out of creatures that would normally tear a pony to shreds, or how she can train animals, and even communicate with them! This kind of gift is practically unheard of, with only highly skilled unicorns able to perform such feats with magic. What Fluttershy does is 100 percent natural, with no strings attached. This, of course, is very good to know in of itself, but there are a few other things you’ll want to know too: 1a - As someone who loves animals, Fluttershy has a few pets herself. Some of them live around her cottage or around the forest, visiting whenever they seek food or shelter, and some live in her home. One of these house pets is a little white bunny called ‘Angel Bunny,’ Fluttershy’s beloved companion. Whenever she goes out, Fluttershy usually leaves him alone with food and water, but sometimes when she is gone for longer periods, she prefers somepony to stay at her home to keep him company. You will have to learn how to take care of the stubborn little shit. Ask Fluttershy lots of questions, and be ready to write anything down. For the most part, all you need to worry about is food, which Fluttershy will usually leave out in the fridge. Angel can be a bit of a picky eater, but bribing with treats seems to work just fine. A bit of advice, He also likes his carrots warm. 1b - Fluttershy knows A LOT about animals. Fluttershy doesn’t talk much, but the topic of animals will turn her into a real chatterbox. Just please try to listen, maybe even try to contribute to the conversation with questions. She’ll love having someone to talk animals with her. 1c -Fluttershy loves animal documentaries, but please, before you show her one she’s never seen before, make sure you watch it by yourself first. If there are any animal deaths shown, pick another one. If you don’t, Fluttershy will see it, get sad, and maybe cry. That won’t be fun for you or her. Oh, and animals fighting (for dominance or mating rights or whatever. Don’t put on documentaries that show this. 1d - Don’t show documentaries that show mating either. She is a very fragile pony! 2 - Fluttershy is a vegetarian. Okay, technically nobody in this world of ponies eats meat, but if you’re a human trying to whoo her, maybe it’s time to rethink your diet, if possible. 3 - Fluttershy loves kind words and sometimes, if you’re lucky, physical affection. Pick-up lines that aren’t too mature will do the trick. If you succeed, then she’ll look away with a blush on her face. This will be the perfect moment for you to hold her hoof, wrap your tail around hers, or nuzzle her cheek. This is the only physical affection she’ll tolerate, so please be mindful. 4 - Fluttershy is usually up for any sort of activities for dates that you choose. However, please refrain from dragging Fluttershy to bars, nightclubs, sporting events, concerts, or any other event or place that is loud, violent inappropriate, or so crowded you can hardly even move. Oh, and watching the dragon migration is not something she’ll enjoy either. On second thought, maybe it’s best to stick with quiet dinners, walks around town, or nights at home. 5 - Don’t go inside the shed in the back of her cottage. No, there aren’t skeletons mounted on her walls or anything like you’re led to believe, but you still shouldn’t enter another pony’s property without their permission. 6 - You may find Fluttershy singing on occasion. When she notices you took notice of that, she’ll stop singing and look away, embarrassed. When she does, just give her a gentle smile, or encourage her to keep going. It’ll mean a lot more to her than you think. This however brings us to our next point. 7 - Fluttershy has very little self-esteem. You’ll probably hear her say things like: ‘Why do you like me so much?’ ‘You can do so much better than me,’ or ‘I’m sorry I’m wasting your time.’ If you really love her, you’ll do your best to counter these yucky statements and tell her how you feel about her. It will take a bit of convincing, but soon, she will hold herself more confidently around you, and it’ll be all thanks to you! 8 - Don’t let Fluttershy get drunk. She’s very strange when she gets drunk. Yes, she’s a lot more outgoing when she’s wasted, but there is such a thing as TOO outgoing. 9 - Throughout Fluttershy’s kitchen, you may find containers containing snacks that resemble cookies or little cakes! Whatever you do, do NOT eat them, Fluttershy bakes ‘pastries’ which are safe for her animal friends to consume, and keeps them in the same place she keeps the pony food, so please be cautious before you help yourself to a snack. 10 - Flusttershy is also pretty good at fixing up animals who are injured or suffering from illness. If she’s ever in any situations that require an extra pair of hooves (or hands!) then help her any way you can. In dire situations, Fluttershy does tend to panic, which will hinder her work. 11 - Please do not try to playfully ‘scare’ Fluttershy. She HATES it, and that’s probably one of the only things that’ll make her angry. 12 - Don’t make Fluttershy angry. Seriously, you do not want to deal with an angry Fluttershy. Trust me. Alternatively, if you find her angry, stay a good 100-200 feet away from her, and, if you dare, try to calm her down, if possible. 13 - Sometimes small spiders will find their way into Fluttershy’s home. This is an occurrence that happens very frequently to everypony. Unfortunately, Fluttershy has arachnophobia and will evacuate whatever room the spider has chosen to stay in, and in dire circumstances, will abandon her home altogether. If you are there when this happens, or you’re able to rescue her from the eight-legged horror, do what you would normally do and put it in a cup and take it outside, or just kill it. Actually, scratch that. Just remove it. 14 - NEVER under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES should you allow Fluttershy to see a butterfly up close. She loves butterflies, and for somepony like her, I am surprised she hasn’t seen a picture of what they look like up close. It isn’t THAT bad, but it will certainly startle somepony as fragile as Fluttershy and will scar her for life. Yep, that’s everything! Quirks aside, Fluttershy is a fairly normal pony, and I would like to imagine that even someone who has no experience with dating will make things work quite well with Fluttershy. No matter what happens, I wish you all the best! However, before I let you go, I feel I should leave you with a little warning: If it isn’t already clear by now, Fluttershy is extremely, well, shy, and I cannot stress this enough. She may hardly even speak a single word to you when you two first meet, and it’ll take her a long time to begin to trust you and come out of her shell, and even when she finally does, it will still take a long time before you really see the true Fluttershy. All that I ask is that you have patience with her, and are willing to put in the time to allow her to blossom like the flower that she is. If you are willing to make that commitment, then I think you two will do just fine… Good luck! Author's Note Hey hey hey What'd I tell y'all about COMING IN MA SHED
How to survive dating Rainbow DashHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. Are you ready to become 20 percent cooler and take the challenge of trying to date the greatest Pegasus in Equestria? Well, no you’re not. This pony is completely out of your league… Or so many are led to believe! For you see, even though Rainbow Dash may be confident, successful, courageous, and noble, she is just, deep down, just another pony. Don’t let what she does or what she has done intimidate you. Celebrities are usually never what they seem when you meet them in person most of the time, however, Rainbow Dash is an exception. She is quite friendly, and you’ll be surprised to learn that she actually resides in the humble town of Ponyville! Rainbow Dash can be a bit of a wild card, however, and it can be tough to impress her, as well as keep up with her, so I have curated a short list of things you can do to hopefully make this a little easier for you! Follow these steps, and Rainbow Dash will practically be begging you to be her marefriend! Probably. Probably not. 1 - Be a Pegasus. This isn’t exactly something you can control, but Rainbow Dash will always prefer somepony who can fly. If you’re a human or a unicorn or Earth pony and trying to romance her, then your chances have just gotten a little harder. Hard, but not impossible. 1a - If you cannot fly, there is another thing you can try. Be athletic. It doesn’t matter if you’re a horse or human, Rainbow Dash will always fall head over hooves for a physically active person. Play a sport, lift weights, run long distances, show commitment and skill at an athletic skill. Rainbow Dash will love that almost as much as she loves folks who can fly! 2 - Be a fan of the Wonderbolts! Chances are you already are one, if you like Rainbow Dash, but if you don’t, then become a fan! After all, Rainbow Dash is a part of them, for crying out loud! Have a poster or something of her in your home, or show excitement when she starts talking about them, maybe even ask her if you could come to a practice session, she will love that! 3 - Know how to pick the perfect dates. Rainbow Dash dislikes boring things, so maybe think twice about fancy dinners or walks through a park or town… You’re going to want to do something exciting! Go to a buckball game, go to a concert, order takeout at home… Romantic, formal options for dates are off the table, but keep in mind that with Rainbow Dash, romance will happen in its own time! 4 - Give her lots of opportunities to show off! Rainbow Dash has a bit of an ego and LOVES showing off her flight skills. Give her challenges and dares, or just ask her to see something cool, and every time she will deliver without any hesitation. She will take it as a challenge! Act impressed when she does these things. Like I said, she had a big ego. She will eat up your praise! Do be sure to stay and watch when she is practicing her flying, with time she will grow to love you watching her, and it’ll brighten up her day. 5 - Physical affection is kind of a grey area when it comes to Rainbow Dash, so keep them to a minimum when you’re hanging out with her, just like I said during tip number three, it’ll come on its own time! 6 - Rainbow Dash is a VERY outgoing pony, and will probably have her calendar filled with outings she’s planned with friends, if she isn’t doing anything, she is probably practicing her flying or soaring through Ponyville doing Celestia knows what. Being able to get dates with her will be tough, but as she gets closer to you, you will become more of a priority for her, and she will put in an effort to spend time with you. She may even ask YOU on a date… 6a - Expanding on this, Rainbow Dash has a habit of being late to things. She may also forget entirely when you both proposed to meet. While this is going to be frustrating, you are going to want to be patient with her. A good percent of the time, she doesn’t mean to forget about you… Although only sometimes. 7 - Gifts are always greatly appreciated, however, you are going to want to know what she likes before you go ahead and try to give her things, otherwise it’s going to lead to awkward situations ending with your gift in the garbage. Flowers are a terrible option. Books are one of the best things you can give that pony, I explain more below: 8 - Rainbow Dash likes the read, it isn’t something she often cares to admit to other ponies, but it’s true. She started reading action/adventure stories, but soon branched off into other genres, settling on one of the most eggheaded genres a pony could enjoy: Romance. Now THAT is a secret not very ponies know about. I’m pretty sure she killed the last pony who learned about it (only kidding,) but as stated above, books are a great gift to give. Knowing what she likes to read is also something else you should know. She loves the Daring Do franchise and the ongoing adult romance novel: ‘The Dawn Chronicles.’ Learn more about these books, you don’t even have to read them, just learn enough to keep a conversation going, Rainbow Dash will LOVE to meet another fan of her favorite books. She also writes fanfiction, do what you want with that information. 8a - Do not under any circumstances let anypony know about her love for romance novels. If you do, I don’t think I can even begin to imagine your fate. 9 - Rainbow Dash is a drinker. She isn’t addicted or anything, only drinking once or twice a week… but sometimes, she can get a little carried away, as she tends to do with all things in life. If she doesn’t try and get you to drink along with her, remain sober so you can help get her home and into bed. She’ll greatly appreciate it… If she even remembers it. Flying while inebriated is a good way to get yourself killed, and she knows it!! 10 - In the early days of your relationship, don’t call her ‘Crash.’ That nickname is reserved for the Wonderbolts… And maybe you, one day, if she trusts you enough to start playfully calling you the nickname she’s carried since she was a filly. And yep, that’s all you need to know! Once again, I am going to remind you not to be intimidated by Dash, because at the end of the day, she’s just another pony. It won’t be easy, but if you have patience, and let things happen naturally, then you will find yourself with Rainbow Dash, the most awesome pony in the world, as your special somepony! Oh right. Once again, there is something I forgot to mention. You see, Rainbow Dash has a lot of fans, no doubt, but there is one fan that is very special to her. Her name is Scootaloo, she’s a little filly, about maybe six years old or so. Like any young pegasus, Rainbow Dash is someone Scootaloo aspires to be one day. If there was a pony to define the term; ‘Biggest fan,’ then Scootaloo would be the pony for it. That child ADORES Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash, despite not being all too good with children, has taken her under her wing. Scootaloo’s life was perfect when Rainbow took her on as her honorary sister… But the truth is, her life isn’t perfect. For you see, Scootaloo is an orphan, she always has been since she was abandoned as a newborn. It took a long time for Rainbow Dash to find out that that sweet, innocent child hid a horrible secret. Since then, she has started going through the process of trying to adopt Scootaloo, and she is working tirelessly to make this a reality, but even then, Rainbow isn’t sure she will be worthy enough to adopt her. In true Rainbow Dash fashion, however, she will never give up. Soon, she may trust you with this secret, and you will have to support her on this journey of adopting a child. No, there isn’t much you can do to help her or speed this lengthy process up, but what you can do is support her as a marefriend-to-be, and just doing that will mean much more than anything on this list. I wish you the best of luck… Author's Note This story is now 20% cooler
How to Survive Dating Twilight SparkleHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. So you’ve fallen in love with Twilight Sparkle. Otherwise known as the book horse, or as Princess Celestia’s most faithful student. Let me assure you right now that trying to date Twilight Sparkle will not be an easy task. Unlike all the other ponies on this list, who will be difficult ponies to romance for many reasons, Twilight is different, because well, she isn’t exactly looking for love! For right now, Twilight’s main focus is finding friendship and not love. Meaning that it’ll be up to you to knock her off her hooves and show her that you are one desirable mare/stallion/human that she cannot live without! Please know that this means you might remain (and may even stay) in the friendship territory for who knows how long. I cannot even guarantee you’ll make it that far. Worry not, however. For with these tips I am about to present to you, you will find your task easy as pie! Better start taking notes! 1 - Twilight Sparkle is Princess Celestia’s loyal protege. Princess Celestia, as in the royal immortal alicorn who has magic so powerful she can raise and lower the sun like it’s nothing, just to clarify. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to name your children after the princesses, but perhaps that’s an older law. Anyways, if you end up getting closer to Twilight Sparkle, she may take you to meet her mentor. You will need to be prepared for this, as Celestia is, after all, a very powerful pony. Be polite and respectful. Bow when she addresses you for the first time, kiss her hoof for it is the respectful thing to do. Just pretend like she isn’t a pony that can send you to the moon or something and don’t let her height or royal aura intimidate you. She’s a really friendly pony, I swear. 1a - If you by chance encounter Princess Luna, follow the same tips above. In fact, I should make a guide on what to do if she visits your dreams… I guess the only tip I can give you for now is don’t have saucy dreams. 2 - Part of Twilight’s mentorship with Princess Celestia requires her to solve a ‘friendship problem’ and write about it to the Princess. She is required to write one once a week. Some weeks, however, there will be no problems that need solving. Every day that passes by without a problem will slowly but surely worry Twilight more and more, until on the final day when her letter is due by midday, she snaps, asking any and all ponies if they have any problems in a panic, even going so far as to trying to cause a friendship problem to solve. If she gets in this panicked state, please try and help her calm down as best as you can. Reassure her that she will not be sent back to friendship kindergarten, and help her write a letter to Celestia telling her that the week has been peaceful 3 - Twilight LOVES to read. As such, books will, and always will, be the perfect topic for conversation, or the perfect thing to give her as a gift! She enjoys nonfiction, mostly about magic, and she enjoys fairy tales as well! 4 - Sooner or later you will find out one of Twilight Sparkle’s darkest secrets: She writes fanfiction. Of course, nopony will ever know what she writes in these fan works, for the place she writes them is better protected than the elements of harmony, but if you ever find her writing it (which you will,) be kind and supportive, and don’t laugh, no matter how bad it is 5 - Twilight will frequently conduct experiments. Usually having to do with magic, but sometimes it’ll be something completely different. Chances are, she will rope you into them if you seem eager enough. You’re going to want to go through with whatever she puts you through. Learn the scientific method, learn how to give good theories, hypotheses, and conclusions, pay close attention, and talk as intelligently as she does. Twilight LOVES smart ponies. 6 - If you yourself are a unicorn, then learn magic. Better yet, ask Twilight to teach you, she will love being able to nerd out and tell you everything she knows. In fact, if you ask her to give you a friendship lesson, she’ll get as excited as a foal on Hearths Warming Eve. 7 - Learn the names of important magical ponies, scientists, and alicorns, as well as some information about them. I cannot stress this enough: Twilight loves smart ponies. 8 - Twilight lives in a library in the center of town. Usually, she lends the books there to her friends. From time to time, ask Twilight if you can borrow a book. You’re going to want to ask to borrow the following books: ‘A Beginners Guide to Alicorn Magic,’ ‘Expert Magic - The Complete Guide,’ ‘Freaky Beasts and Where to Find Them,’ ‘The Crazy Guide to Curses and counter-curses,’ ‘The In-depth Guide to Equestria,’ ‘the truth of humans’ and of course, ‘Good night, Sun.’ her favorite book as a filly. 9 - If Twilight gets more comfortable around you, she may try her luck at a pick-up line, and she will do this by consulting a book and reading the first thing she sees, even if it sounds absolutely horrible or inappropriate. Flirting isn’t exactly Twilight’s forte, but she’s trying her best, so please be patient! There is one more thing I have to share before I turn you away. You see, Twilight is a very fortunate pony to have everything that she has, and many might even say that she has a perfect life. This could not be farther from the truth. Okay, in actuality, she does have a great life… There is just one thing about it that no magic can fix. Twilight has something smarter ponies call ‘Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,’ or just OCD. OCD is a terrible mental disorder, and while I’m not the pony to ask about it, what I do know is that it can negatively affect a pony’s life. Twilight has certain rituals she has to do, and while she tries to hide them, ponies still notice, often dismissing it as Twilight just being her usual perfectionist self. And while sometimes this may be true (she can be a bit of a perfectionist,) it will be easy to tell the difference between her making sure everything is just right and her little rituals. For example, she washes her hooves before handling her books when not grabbing them with magic. She will sometimes touch random objects in hoof’s reach like the edge of a table or the side of a shelf, and sometimes she’ll repeat stuff to herself, counting all the times she’s done it in her head. Nopony will never understand what goes through Twilight’s head when she does these things. Even Princess Celestia noticed it, and when she asked Twilight about it, she shouted at her. She raised her voice to her mentor and closest friend. It won’t take you long for you to catch her doing these things, and I can’t lie, it will hurt to watch. You won’t know what to do, just like I did back then. If you ever see her struggling, Just please, be gentle with her about it, don’t make fun of her, don’t say stuff like: ‘Just don’t do it.’ Try to calm her down, de-escalate the situation, and maybe distract her somehow, if you can. There are no words to describe how thankful she will be to have someone to help pull her through that. Maybe, with your help, she will finally do the one thing ponies have been telling her to do for years: Seek the help that she needs. Twilight is not alone in this battle. She will have you, and with your help, you can put this pony back on track, back to her geeky, magical self. I wish you the best of luck, my friend…
How to Survive Dating Pinkie PieHi. My name is Lucky Lovestruck. Pinkie Pie. Pinkamena Diane Pie. You’ve fallen in love with the party pony, now what? If you’re a person who doesn’t have much experience in the art of dating, then you’re in luck. Unlike all the other mares on this list, Pinkie Pie will be the easiest mare in this series to romance, even easier than Fluttershy! You probably won’t even need my help with this, you’ll probably figure it out all on your own! However, like all things in life, it’s always good to be prepared. Pinkie is a very odd pony, and every moment you spend with her is going to be a surprise. You’re going to need to be ready for all the things she’s going to throw at you and learn how to combat some situations you will find yourself in. Worry not, for Pinkie Pie is perfectly harmless and always means well. Kind of, but anyway, let’s get on with it! 1 - Pinkie Pie works at the Sugarcube Corner in Ponyville as a baker, salespony, and party planner. Most of your time spent with her will probably be in Sugarcube Corner, sampling all sorts of baked goods, mostly cupcakes. Always bring an appetite, because you’ll always be given something to eat when you come through those doors. 1a - Learn to bake! Aside from throwing parties, baking is Pinkie’s favorite thing to do, so it’ll only make sense to learn the art of baking. Don’t ask her to teach you, however, because she isn’t the greatest teacher in Equestria. You’re better off going to a class, or teaching yourself if you’re brave. 2 - Don’t talk about Cupcakes HD 3 - Prepare for pranks. Pinkie Pie is quite the jokester, and as you start to get closer to her, she will add YOU to her list of targets for her little pranks. Don’t worry, usually these pranks are harmless. Not only should you expect to be the victim of pranks, but you should also take it upon yourself to ‘return the favor,’ if you know what I mean. Pinkie will love the competition! Also, maybe invest in a football helmet. 4 - You’ll soon learn before too long that Pinkie has a pet. What is it? Oh nothing, just an alligator. No, I’m not kidding, in a world like this, that shouldn’t be too surprising, and yet, it is. Anyways, Gummy (That’s his name, it’s adorable) is mostly harmless, because he doesn’t have any teeth. He does, however, bite. A lot. Pinkie might ask you to take care of the little guy when she goes off to do whatever it is she does, and so to prepare you for this, here’s everything you’ll have to do to keep him safe and happy: 4a - Floss him once a day before bedtime. I don’t know why Pinkie does this, but you’ll learn to not question everything Pinkie does after a while. 4b - Because he has no teeth, Gummy has a liquid diet. Make sure he is fed three times a day. He likes cupcake frosting, so you may give him some as a treat. 4c - Don’t put him in water, he can’t swim, he’ll just float to the bottom like a rock 4d - If you see Gummy simply staring off into space, not blinking and making little growls, that means he’s asleep. It’s a little creepy, actually. 5 - Pinkie Pie LOVES affection. She will not object to nuzzles, scritches under her chin, boops to her nose, ruffles of her mane, and hugs. Lots and lots and lots of hugs. If you hold your hands or hooves out, she will zoom towards you to hug you so fast she’ll probably break the sound barrier 6 - If you play your cards right, soon, Pinkie will start inviting you to every party she throws. That’s right, every single one. Birthday parties, graduation parties, parties for a party, she’ll invite you, even if you have no interest in going to some random pony’s cutesnceanera. If you can, always accept these invitations, if not, please be honest with her and tell her you don’t want to go, or can’t for some reason, maybe a dentist appointment or something. She hates people who lie to her more than she hates people turning down invitations. 7 - Please be aware that Pinkie Pie has NO concept of personal space. As such, expect her to get up in your business with no warning. 8 - It’s no secret that Pinkie Pie is not very good at keeping secrets. If you trust her with a childhood story you beg her not to tell anypony else, expect all of Ponyville to know about it by the end of the day. Consider this your only warning! 9 - Promises, however, are a different story. Legends tell of a mythical oath, a pact sealed with the powers of trust and friendship, a binding so sacred, that it is regarded as but a myth. This oath is known as the Pinkie Promise. This is no ordinary promise. Making a Pinkie Promise with her is the highest honor a pony can have, but it comes at a heavy price: Should you break a Pinkie promise, your relationship with Pinkie will fall to pieces, and the world as we know it will end… Probably. Monologues aside, don’t break a Pinkie Promise. Just don’t. And there we go. That is all the things you need to know before dating Pinkie Pie. Of course, there is way, way more to tell you, but I don’t think I can even begin to imagine how much writing that would take. Pinkie Pie may seem like a simple, silly pony who likes to throw parties, eat cupcakes, and give hugs, but there is far more to that pony than one might expect. I could probably fill an entire book with stuff about her if I wanted to. What I have provided you with is only a small fraction of information, if you are going to take up this challenge, you are going to need to prepare yourself for anything, and yes, I mean anything. But you should also open up your heart, for Pinkie Pie, once you win her trust and love, will love you more than any other pony could. I hope you’re ready for hugs. Lots of hugs. Congratulations, reader. You have successfully read my guide on how to date all of the Mane 6. If you have made it this far, I hope you know that your romantic endevours will now to ten times easier with this knowledge in mind. With this newfound skill, you could probably date all six of these legendary mares like how I once did, and maybe, you’ll actually be able to find the one you wish to spend the rest of your life with, instead of being dumped by all of them like I did. However, even if you masted that, there is still one thing left to do: There are other ponies out there. More power, more magic, and more beauty. That’s right, I am talking about the princesses. If a mortal pony or human can romance an alicorn princess, then one automatically becomes a living legend, a god among the citizens of Equestria. Of course, nobody has ever accomplished such things, not for generations, but perhaps that is bound to change… Once again, my name is Lucky Lovestruck, and this has been… How to survive dating the Mane 6 The end!! Author's Note Life is a party
