Starburst in Wonderland

Starburst trotted slowly through the forest looking around aimlessly. All that she had encountered after falling down the accursed hole was literally making her head spin, so much so that the young princess started to wonder if she was slowly dying. “Maybe I should try finding my way back home,” Starburst thought out loud. “All the folks I’ve encountered aren’t my friends and they don’t even recognize me. I wonder if these mushrooms have something to do with all this. Or maybe it’s that breakfast Mom insisted I eat before I went to work out. She made it herself and she’s not really that good of a cook. She leaves that for the cooks at the castle.” Starburst then lifted her head up high. “Is this because I didn’t go to the Canterlot Library with you yesterday like you asked me to, Mom?” she called out. “You’ve got a twisted way of getting payback, you know!” Her voice echoed throughout the forest which made her shudder a bit. She then relaxed and looked among the trees hoping to possibly find the Cheshire Cat that bore a strong resemblance to Anthea. She shook her head considering the idea ridiculous. “She said to meet her at the castle of The Queen of Hearts,” Starburst thought out loud. “If I can’t find a way out of this crazy place how am I supposed to even meet The Queen of Hearts? If I do meet this Queen of Hearts I’m gonna twist her hoof until she gets me the heck out of here!”

Starburst glanced towards another pathway that led down a bushy area. Up in a distance was a cottage that had hay for a roof. The funny thing was the roof had the shape of rabbit ears. “I wonder if this is another place Nightlight owns?” the young princess thought out loud. “That’s not Nightlight, Starburst. You should know that by now.” Starburst then flew over to the house and stopped at the entrance. As She stared at the house, her ears picked up what sounded like muffled music coming from behind the house. Starburst then opened the gate and slowly made her way to the back of the house. When she arrived at the back of the house there was a long table in the midst of the yard laden with tea pots, tea cups, saucers and a wide variety of cakes and pastries. At the far side of the yard was a huge radio playing music. The table had multiple chairs and seated at the table was a young grey earth pony mare with a bouncy pink mane with white streaks in it. She was dressed in a baggy looking yellow tuxedo top complete with a large blue bowtie. She was also wearing a green top hat that seemed too big for her. Strapped unto the hat was a white piece of cardboard with a number 10/6 scrawled on it. Seated next to the young earth pony mare was a small light pink hare with pink hair on top of its head. The light pink hare was dressed in a red tuxedo top complete with a large bowtie that was a lighter shade of red. Both the young earth pony mare and light pink mare were both bouncing to the music and drinking tea. When Starburst took a hard look at both the earth pony mare and the light pink hare she could not help but think that they bore a strong resemblance to her friend Cotton Candy and Cotton Candy’s younger sister Sugar Rush. Both were the daughters of another of Princess Twilight’s friends Pinkie Pie. Starburst took a seat at the head of the table keeping her eyes fixed on the apparitions that looked like Cotton Candy and Sugar Rush. “So Cotton Candy’s having a crazy tea party with one of her little sisters?” Starburst thought silently. “I guess it makes sense if they were the real Cotton Candy and Sugar Rush. Where’s Cloudy Skies though?”

The young earth pony mare and the light pink hare stopped sipping from their tea cups and turned their attention to Starburst. They then rushed towards the young princess with looks of horror on their faces. “Sorry, no room!” said the young earth pony mare in a voice that was similar to Cotton Candy’s.

“No room! No room!” said the light pink hare in a little filly’s voice that was similar to Sugar Rush’s.

“What are you two talking about?” said a confused Starburst. “This is a long table and there are lots of chairs. That’s a lot of room if you ask me.” Both the young earth pony mare and light pink hare grabbed Starburst by both of her fore hooves and made her stand up.

“It’s very rude to sit when you’re not invited,” said the light pink hare sternly.

“I’ll say,” said the young earth pony mare crossing her fore hooves glaring at Starburst. “It’s very, very, very rude!”

“Very rude indeed,” said the muffled voice of a little filly. Starburst perked up when she recognized the voice. “Cloudy Skies, is that you?” said Starburst looking around in all directions. The young earth pony mare and the light pink hare looked at Starburst in confusion. “Something seems to be wrong with the little filly,” said the light pink hare gesturing to the young princess.

“Very, very, very wrong indeed,” said the young earth pony mare with a look of concern.

“I’m not a little filly!” snapped Starburst. “I’m seventeen! Who are you two anyway?”

“Why, I’m the Mad Hatter!” said the young earth pony mare with a broad smile.

“And I’m the March Hare!” announced the light pink hare.

“The Mad Hatter and the March Hare?” thought Starburst silently. “These are probably the ones that cat version of Annie was talking about. But they look and sound an awful lot like Cotton Candy and Sugar Rush. How is Sugar Rush a hare though?”

“The little filly’s probably new around these parts,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy to The March Hare/Sugar Rush.

“You’re new in town?” asked The March Hare/Sugar Rush bouncing excitedly.

“I guess you can say that,” said Starburst with discomfort.

“Then you must have a cup of tea!” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy excitedly.

“Yes, not every day we get visitors,” said a beaming March Hare/Sugar Rush as both she and The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy sat Starburst on a nearby chair. “You must have a cup of tea!”

The March Hare/Sugar Rush poured out a cup of tea and handed it over to Starburst. The young princess looked at the cup of tea in confusion and graciously took it. “Thanks?” she said. “So you two are having a tea party?”

“Oh, it’s not a tea party,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy.

“We’re having an Un-Birthday Party!” announced The March Hare/Sugar Rush throwing up her forelegs.

“An Un-Birthday Party?” said Starburst cocking an eyebrow.

“You mean to tell me you’ve never heard of an Un-Birthday?” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush.

“Well, as you can obviously see, I’m not from around here,” said Starburst with an annoyed glare.

“In that case,” began The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy “allow us to enlighten you!” The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and The March Hare/Sugar Rush took Starburst by both hooves and escorted her to another chair leaving the young princess unable to have a sip of the tea that was offered to her. After Starburst took her seat on the new chair, both The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and March Hare/Sugar Rush cleared their throats. “You see,” began The March Hare/Sugar Rush. “There are 365 days in a year.”

“I know that!” said an annoyed Starburst.

“But one of those days is a birthday!” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy. “That leaves 364 days in the year!”

“Which means there are 364 un-birthdays!” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush excitedly.

“That means, today’s probably my un-birthday,” said Starburst tapping her chin thoughtfully.

“That’s right!” exclaimed both The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and The March Hare/Sugar Rush. They then took Starburst by her fore hooves and escorted her to another chair, much to the young princess’s irritation. When Starburst took her seat on this new chair The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy removed her large top hat revealing a large three-layer cake covered in icing on top of her head. “For the Un-Birthday girl!” she announced.

“For me?” said a confused Starburst.

“Of course,” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush. “It’s your Un-Birthday!”

The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy took the large birthday cake and placed it front of Starburst. “Make a wish and blow out the candle!” said an excited Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she stuck what appeared to be a single tall candle on top of the cake. She lit the candle and Starburst stared at the cake for a few moments. Starburst could not help but consider the whole situation even more absurd than what she has been going through since falling down that rabbit hole. The young princess blew at the candle, but instead of going out the candle started hissing. Suddenly the cake started to vibrate causing Starburst to be overwhelmed with nervousness. Starburst yelped as the cake shot up into the sky like a rocket and burst into a beautiful shower of colorful sparks. When young princess’s vision readjusted she could see a small figure floating down from the sky. Upon further observation Starburst discovered that the figure was actually a mouse. However, this was no ordinary mouse. The mouse was dark blue in color with light blue hair that looked like bangs. The mouse also looked as if it was sleepy. “Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,” began the mouse in a sleepy little filly’s voice. “How I wonder where you’re at. Up above the clouds you fly, like an alicorn in the sky.” The dark blue mouse floated gently into a tea pot right in front of Starburst. The young princess’s eyes then went wide when she realized the mouse bore a strong resemblance to another one of Cotton Candy’s little sisters Cloudy Skies, the last of Pinkie Pie’s daughters and Sugar Rush’s fraternal twin. “Cloudy Skies?” said Starburst as she peered into the tea pot.

“That’s the Door Mouse,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy bouncing in front of Starburst.

“Oh, right,” thought Starburst silently. “I forgot. They might look like Cotton Candy, Sugar Rush and Cloudy Skies, but it’s not them.”

“Would you like another cup of tea, little filly?” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush offering Starburst a cup of tea on a saucer.

“I didn’t even have my first cup of tea!” said Starburst throwing up her fore hooves in frustration.

“Something seems to be troubling you,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she nonchalantly sipped from her cup of tea.

“Gee, I wonder what gave it away?” muttered an annoyed Starburst as she crossed her fore hooves.

“Why don’t you tell all of us what’s the matter?” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush.

“Start from the beginning,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy pouring out another cup of tea for herself. “And when you reach to the end, stop!”

Starburst let out a heavy sigh. “Alright,” she began. “This morning I was working out at a farm that belongs to one of my mom’s friends. Then I started to follow this rabbit who I thought was my brother.”

“Strange,” said a confused March Hare/Sugar Rush as she sipped from her cup of tea. “Why would you think that a rabbit’s your brother?”

“Well, he sounded like my brother,” explained Starburst. “He talked in this kind of whiny way Nightlight usually talks.”

“Who’s Nightlight?” said a confused Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy.

“He’s my little brother,” said Starburst.

“Very interesting,” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush as she poured out another cup of tea for herself.

“It’s very clear the little filly’s got some issues,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” demanded Starburst as she glared at The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy.

“If you were right in the head you certainly wouldn’t assume that this Nightlight was a rabbit,” explained The March Hare/Sugar nonchalantly.

“Are you saying I’m crazy?” said Starburst as she angrily stomped towards The March Hare/Sugar Rush who casually sipped from her cup of tea.

“Clean cup!” announced The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy.

“Clean cup! Clean cup!” announced The March Hare/Sugar Rush. They then grabbed Starburst by her fore hooves once again and escorted her to another chair. “Would you like another cup of tea, little filly?” asked The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she poured out a cup for Starburst.

“You already offered me two cups of tea,” said an annoyed Starburst. “You never even let me take one sip!”

“You were telling us a story, little filly,” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush as she poured out another cup for herself. “Don’t stop. It was getting so good!”

“Sweet Celestia!” groaned a frustrated Starburst. “You all really are crazy!”

“Who said we were crazy?” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she nonchalantly sipped from her tea.

“Some cat I was talking to in the forest,” said Starburst glaring at The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy.

“CAT!?!” shrieked The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies popping out of the tea pot.

The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies started running around wildly across the table knocking over tea pots and tea cups in the process. The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and The March Hare/Sugar Rush in turn started chasing after The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies. Starburst looked on in horror as they all ran around in circles causing an even bigger mess. The March Hare/Sugar Rush grabbed The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies by the tail and The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy grabbed The March Hare/Sugar Rush by her own tail. The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies was still running around shrieking hysterically despite The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and The March Hare/Sugar Rush holding onto her. “Get the jam!” ordered a frantic March Hare/Sugar Rush turning to Starburst. “Get the jam!” Starburst’s eyes darted all over until she found a jar of jam a few feet away from her left. She grabbed the jar and rushed towards the group. “Put it on her nose!” ordered an equally frantic Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy. “Put it on her nose!” A confused Starburst unscrewed the jar’s cover and dipped her front hoof into the jar. She then put some jam onto The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies’ nose which seemed to calm mouse. Soon The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies fell fast asleep and The March Hare/Sugar Rush gently placed her in an empty tea pot. After covering the tea pot both The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and The March Hare/Sugar Rush started glaring at Starburst who in turn gave a sheepish look. “My goodness!” growled a stern Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy. “Those are the things that upset me!”

“You see all the trouble you’ve caused?” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush as she gave Starburst a stern look.

“I’m sorry,” said Starburst giving a pleading look. “I didn’t think…”

“That’s the point,” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush cutting off Starburst. “If you don’t think you shouldn’t talk!”

“Clean cup!” announced The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy. “Clean cup! Move down!”

“But I haven’t even…” began an annoyed Starburst. Before she could finish The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and The March Hare/Sugar Rush grabbed Starburst by her front hooves and escorted her near the end of the table. They both placed the young princess on the chair and Starburst trembled all in an effort to contain her rage. “Now, little filly,” began The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she poured herself a cup of tea. “You were saying?”

“Who exactly directed you to our humble abode?” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush as she poured herself a cup of tea.

“Well,” began Starburst. “I was trotting through the forest when I met a you-know-what.”

“I do?” said an excited Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy perking up.

“Who do we know?” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush bouncing excitedly.

Starburst glared at them both. She was up to her neck with their shenanigans but she was worried about the end results of mentioning the feline version of Anthea. “I was trotting through the forest when I met a C-A-T,” said Starburst with extreme caution.

“Tea?” exclaimed The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy excitedly. The March Hare/Sugar Rush then took a tea cup and to Starburst’s amazement The March Hare/Sugar Rush actually cut the tea cup in half with a butter knife with ease. “A half a cup for the little filly,” announced The March Hare/Sugar Rush as she passed the sliced cup to The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy. The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy then poured out tea into the sliced cup and amazingly the tea stayed within the cup without spilling over. “Would you care for some tea, little filly?” asked The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she offered the sliced cup of tea to Starburst.

“But I haven’t even taken any tea since coming to this crazy place!” said an annoyed Starburst pounding her hoof on the table.

“Well, if you don’t care for tea then you should at least make polite conversation,” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush as she nonchalantly sipped from her cup of tea.

“WHAT THE HAY’S WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU!?!” screamed a frustrated Starburst.

“I have an idea,” said The March Hare/Sugar seemingly not noticing Starburst’s angry expression. “Let’s change the subject.”

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” asked The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she nonchalantly sipped from her cup of tea.

“WHAT!?!” exclaimed Starburst as she incredulously looked at her two hosts.

“It’s a riddle,” said an excited March Hare/Sugar Rush. “Surely you know what a riddle is, don’t you, little filly?”

Starburst’s grinded her teeth and her face turned bright red. Her hosts were trying her very last nerve and she was tempted to buck each of them in the face. She then let out a heavy sigh, placed her front hoof on her chest and inhaled. She removed her hoof from her chest and exhaled. Her Auntie Cadence taught her those actions whenever Starburst felt her temper flaring up. For a moment her anger seemed to subside. “Okay,” began Starburst calmly. She then put her hoof to her chin as she pondered the riddle. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” Starburst thought out loud.

“Excuse me?” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy looking at Starburst in confusion.

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” explained Starburst.

“Why is a what?!” exclaimed The Matter/Cotton Candy in horror. The earth pony mare then dropped her cup of tea and she held onto The March Hare/Sugar Rush who also had a look of horror in a tight embrace. “Careful,” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush in a trembling voice. “The little filly’s stark raven mad!”

“But I was only trying to answer your dumb riddle!” exclaimed Starburst, her anger flaring up again.

“Calm down, little filly,” said a nervous Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she and the March Hare started to slowly back away.

“How about a nice cup of tea?” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush with a nervous smile as she offered a cup of tea to Starburst.

“I DON’T WANT YOUR GOSHDARN TEA!” screamed an enraged Starburst pounding the table. “I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP!” With those words Starburst started to stomp away. Before she could even leave the backyard The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy rushed in front of her bouncing excitedly. “Well, if you knew Time as well as I do,” began The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy “then you wouldn’t be wasting it.”

“What the hay are you babbling about now?” growled Starburst.

“She means that you’ve never spoken to Time,” said a beaming March Hare/Sugar Rush as she sat on a nearby chair sipping from a cup of tea. The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy took Starburst by the hoof and escorted her back to the table where she sat the princess on a chair. “Now, if you only kept on good terms with Time,” began The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy “Time would do almost anything you like with the clock.” The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy then sat next to Starburst and poured a cup of tea for herself. “Let’s just say it was eight in the morning just in time to start lessons,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy after she sipped from her cup of tea. “You’d only have to whisper a hint to Time and ‘round goes the clock in the twinkling of an eye! Twelve o’clock! Time for lunch!”

“I wish it was lunch,” Starburst heard The March Hare/Sugar Rush mutter.

“Now there was a great concert organized by the Queen of Hearts,” continued The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy.

“The Queen of Hearts?” repeated Starburst perking up with wide eyes.

“It’s not polite to interrupt, little filly,” said The March/Sugar Rush giving Starburst a reproachful look.

“I’m seventeen!” growled Starburst.

“At the concert I had to sing,” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy as she took another sip from her tea. “Before I could even sing the first verse The Queen of Hearts screamed “You’re killing time! Off with your head!””

“That sounds terrible,” said Starburst with a hint of concern in her voice.

“And ever since then,” continued The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy “Time won’t do a thing I ask. Now it’s always six o’clock.”

“Six o’clock?” repeated Starburst putting a hoof to her chin. “That’s tea time.”

“Exactly!” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush. “It’s tea time all the time!”

“That probably explains all this tea stuff around here,” said Starburst gesturing to all the teapots and tea cups on the table.

“Maybe the little filly’s not as naïve as we thought,” said the sleepy muffled voice of The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies which made Starburst tremble with rage once more.

Starburst let out a sigh. “Look,” she began calmly “Can you tell me where I could find The Queen of Hearts? Maybe this lady is responsible for all of this and maybe she could get me back home.”

“You hear that?” said The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy turning to the March Hare/Sugar Rush. “The little filly wants to meet The Queen of Hearts!”

“You can take me to her?” asked Starburst with wide eyes.

“Sure we can, little filly,” assured The March Hare/Sugar Rush. “Just give us two days and we can take you to her castle in no time.”

“Two days?!” exclaimed an incredulous Starburst. “Why two days?”

“Anyone who wants to visit The Queen of Hearts has to bring her tons of gifts,” explained The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy. “Trust me, she’s extremely high maintenance.”

“Anyone who dares visit her without gifts to give, it’s off with your head,” added The March Hare/Sugar Rush with a look of horror.

“I’ve been reminding you two all week about going gift shopping for The Queen of Hearts,” said The Door Mouse/Cloudy Skies rising from her teapot. “But does anyone ever listen to me? No.” The Door Mouse then yawned and sunk back into her teapot.

“Goodness gracious!” exclaimed The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy. “We shouldn’t be lingering out here. We need to get the shopping chop, chop!”

“It’s just like you were saying about Time,” said The March Hare/Sugar Rush frantically. “You have to be on good terms with Time.” With those words both The Mad Hatter/Cotton Candy and The March Hare/Sugar Rush ran into the house leaving behind a baffled Starburst. The young princess stammered trying to get some words out until finally letting out a frustrated grunt. She then turned around and flew off the property.