Absolutely Baked

Pot Luck’s apartment was a modest home overlooking the town square. Not the most spacious, but just enough for the essentials. He had a bed, a couch, a fridge and a TV, and he didn’t need anything else.

His work, however, needed that extension he had put in. It wasn’t anything ridiculous, of course - just a greenhouse with a few dozen planters, many ultraviolet lights, and some sprinklers. Inside the planters were his collection of exotic plants, most of which couldn’t be found anywhere in Equestria. Not without an extortionate amount of bits changing hooves in a dark alley. Not only were most of them illegal to sell without a licence, but Equestria’s climate made them impossible to grow naturally. Hence the ultraviolet lights, which were all acutely adjusted to replicate the temperature and intensity of the part of the world that particular plant could be found.

One would think that not only would Pot Luck’s power bill be through the roof, but his landlord would be curious about the new room with glass walls and a glass ceiling emitting a funky smell from inside the apartment. And both cases would certainly be true, if it weren’t for him working out a deal with Princess Twilight Sparkle herself. The alicorn, a true genius in the arcane arts, enchanted the greenhouse with a spell that kept its very existence hidden from the outside world. In return, Pot Luck would provide her with the occasional ‘natural refreshment’, as she put it.

It was why he always had a supply of Saddle Arabian Nights ready to go, should she ever drop by.

As he did almost nightly, he donned a protective suit and inspected his stock. Every planter was labelled accordingly, and he smiled when he saw each plant was growing nice and healthy.

“Temperature normal,” he muttered to himself. “Sprinklers still sprinkling. Better give the Griffonstone lamp a little adjustment.”

He was quite delighted with just how massive and plentiful each plant had grown, thanks to that special formula he’d put in each planter’s soil. It’d taken him a few months to get it just right, but now his efforts were bearing fruit. Or rather, medicinal and/or recreational but safe foliage.

“Good, the Five Love is fully grown,” he noted, inspecting some large green leaves from the plants that normally thrived in the Fillybean Islands. He trotted over to the drying racks and inspected the blue leaves resting on them. “And it looks like the Poison Joke is ready to package.”

Once he made certain his protection was secure, he got to work cutting up, packaging and jarring the leaves. He’d already had one incident with the Poison Joke, and he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. The phantom pain was still fresh in his legs.

He shuddered. “So much jigging…”

Once he’d cleaned the shelves, packaging and protective suit of any potential Poison Joke powder (he thought he’d never recover from the time a bit got into Berry Punch’s order), he set the Five Love leaves out on the shelves to dry off. He was glad to see it had grown so well - Five Love was without a doubt the most popular item he stocked, and he thanked it for keeping a roof over his head and food on his table. And he understood the hype over it, being a frequent partaker himself.

In fact, he found himself eyeing those leaves. Thanks to his formula, each one was bigger than his hoof and he’d loaded up each shelf with stacks of the stuff. He’d already sold some of it to Fluttershy and Tree Hugger, and it’d be pretty irresponsible of him if he kept selling it without checking for any side effects. Worst case scenario, everypony became building-sized. Best case scenario, he’d create a town of space cadets staring at their hooves and wondering where the word ‘hoof’ came from.

There was only one way to find out for sure. He lifted one of the leaves from the shelf.

“Should get a whole batch of brownies out of you,” he muttered to it. “Now where did I leave the mane dryer…?”