The morning sun was just barely making it’s way past the horizon as a purple, baby dragon arose lazily from his tiny bed. He looked around the bedroom that him and Twilight Sparkle shared and noticed that the aforementioned mare was nowhere in sight.
“Oh yeah. Twilight’s visiting her parents and brother in Canterlot, which means...”, Spike then ran straight down to the kitchen where he procured a tub of ice cream then shoveled a scoop into his mouth, “I can start the day right!”
Spike continued to shovel two more scoops of the ice cream into his mouth before stopping to think.
“Wait, I can’t do this. Ice cream is for the middle of the day, cupcakes are for the morning.”, Spike said as he placed the ice cream back into the freezer and made his way out the door.
As he strolled through town, ponies of all kinds casually greeted him, but he hastily reciprocated and moved on. He was a dragon on a mission after all.
He finally reached the end of his journey as Sugarcube Corner came into view. He gleefully pulled open the door to the bakery as he was over taken with the various sweet scents of the nearly countless confections throughout the store. Spike’s eyes traced each and every display case as he narrowed in onto his primary target, the cupcakes. There were dozens of them all in many various colors and sizes, some had sprinkles while others had candy nestled on top, there were even ones decorated with pink hearts, probably in preparation for the upcoming hearts and Hooves Day, Spike assumed. While scanning the case he heard humming from the back.
“Oh, hey Pinkie! It’s me Spike.”, he yelled, hoping that she heard him all the way in the back.
“Why are you yelling Spikey?”, Pinkie pie questioned from behind him.
“Ah! Pinkie, I thought you were...”, he turned back to the counter, with the register, and past that to the back of the store, “back there.”
“Hmm... well I guess I’m not, I mean, I’m here so I can’t be there. Nopony can be in two places at once, silly Spikey.”, she concluded by patting his head.
“I’m sure you could pull it off, in fact I think you just did.”, Spike mumbled. “Anyway, I was hoping that I could get a...”, but he was cut short by a sudden and loud gasp from Pinkie.
“Spike, Why are there cupcakes missing from this case?”, Pinkie said eyeing the dragon suspiciously.
“Hey, don’t look at me. I just got here and I’ve got that whole greed thing under control again. See? Still normal, adorable, little, baby Spike”, Spike said.
“Hmm.. well okay, but if it wasn’t you than who?”
“It is a store, maybe somepony just bought them.”
“The store has only been open an hour now and you are the only one who’s come so far. Do you know what this means spikey?”
“Umm... oh wait... well... hmm... I got nothing.”
Pinkie pulled two hats out of nowhere, she placed the bowler hat on Spikes head and the deerstalker on her own head. She then proceeded to hand Spike a notepad and quill, while placing a bubble pipe in between her lips.
“It means, my dear Spikey, that a crime has been committed and I must solve it.”
“A crime? You really think somepony stole them?”, Spike inquired.
“I’m afraid so Spikey. Now, tell me, what do you see?”
“Umm... an empty spot in the case, and some crumbs where the missing goods were.”
“Silly Spikey.”, Pinkie patted his head again as she continued her explanation, “To the untrained eye there is an empty spot, but if you look closer, there are exactly three cupcakes missing from that case.”
“Whoa, your right. How did I miss that?”
“Don’t worry about it Spikey, that’s why your the assistant and I’m the detective. Also, ever since the incident with MMMM I’ve been pretty good at this detecting thing, and regardless of what Twilight said I still think that Donut Joe is more than he appears.”, Pinkie remarked before concluding with a thoughtful burst of bubbles from her pipe.
“Huh?”, Spike replied.
“Nevermind that now Spike, we have suspects to question.”
“We do?”
“Of course, it’s elementary my dear Spikey, who would steal exactly three cupcakes, I ask you. The answer, The Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
“Hey Pinkie Pie, and Spike too? What’re y’all doin’ here? And uhh... what’s with the silly hats?”, Applejack said to her friends when she noticed them walking through the Apple Family Orchard.
“I’ll do the questioning around here Applejack, if that is your real name.”, Pinkie retorted.
Applejack sighed, “Ya know that’s mah real name. What’s this about sugarcube, ah have chores that need to get done.”
“Spikey, explain.”, Pinkie answered.
“Oh, right, well, sometime last night, or very early this morning, a crime was committed at Sugarcube Corner and Applebloom and her two friends are the prime suspects of our investigation.”, Spike replied. “How was that Pinkie, I thought it sounded pretty good.”
“It was, indeed, very well said. Now, Applejack, Where is your sister?”, Pinkie inquired.
“Uhh... Pinkie, ah hate to to ask it like this but, ya haven’t been partyin’ with Berry Punch have ya?”, Applejack asked in a hushed tone.
“What are you insinuating?”, Pinkie said as her eyes narrowed.
“That yer drunk.”, Applejack replied bluntly.
“Oh!”, Pinkie giggled and snorted then continued, “No, of course not. Silly. Why would you think that?”
“Yer accusing Applebloom of bein’ a thief for one. And, second, ya’d havta be drunk to wear a hat like that. Anyway, last time ah saw ‘em, they were in their clubhouse.”, Applejack said, then turned back to her waiting work, mumbling all the while.
“J’accuse!”, Pinkie yelled as she pointed a hoof directly at the three fillies known collectively as The Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“Wow! Pinkie ah didn’t know ya spoke fancy.”, Applebloom excitedly replied.
“It’s called french, not fancy.”, Sweetie Belle interjected.
Scootaloo sighed, “Who cares what it’s called, what does it mean?”
“I am accusing you of breaking in and stealing three cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner.”, Pinkie replied.
“And I’m her assistant.”, Spike added.
“Hi Spike.”, Sweetie Belle said waving to the dragon, seemingly unaffected by the accusation.
“Hi Sweetie Belle.”, Spike answered.
“Yes, hello’s all around. Now, will you girls confess or will I have to tell you exactly how you committed the crime?”, Pinkie questioned.
“We didn’t steal anything.”, Scootaloo answered.
“Yeah, we already tried ‘The Cutie Mark Crusaders Cat Burglars’, and all we got was this statue.”, Sweetie Belle added as she pointed a hoof to the life size statue of Celestia standing next to the club house tree.
“But still no cutie marks.”, the three said all together.
“I’ve been looking for this every where.”, said a familiar voice from near the statue.
All four ponies, and Spike looked over to see Celestia standing next to her statue.
“P-princess?”, Applebloom said in astonishment.
“Hey, wait a second... where did you come from? you weren’t there a second ago.”, Scootaloo questioned.
“Ohh... Well... if you ‘forget’ that you saw me here at Sweet Apple Acres I may consider forgetting that you stole this. Oh, yes, and tell your sister that it’s her turn tomorrow Sweetie Belle, she’ll understand. Farewell my little ponies.”, Celestia replied as she grabbed her statue and flew away.
“I think that was a bigger mystery than some missing cupcakes.”, Spike commented.
“No Spike, no it’s not, and leave it at that. So, you three fillies claim to have nothing to do with the cupcake theft?”, Pinkie said with a very serious tone.
The crusaders all nodded there heads.
“Hmm... then it’s back to Sugarcube Corner to look for more clues.”, Pinkie remarked definitively.
“What was the princess talking about and why did you act all weird about it earlier?”, Spike asked Pinkie as they turned back to town.
“One word Spike, Molly.”, Pinkie said menacingly.
Spike shrugged, still clueless about the situation, and continued to walk along side the pink pony.
Pinkie eyed the empty case where the missing goods created a vacancy, then she let out yet another gasp.
“Spike, tell me why our first suspect was wrong.”, Pinkie said calmly puffing out another stream of bubbles.
“Cause it was... wrong?”, Spike guessed.
“Look carefully at the space in the case, you’ll notice that to the left are cupcakes, and to the right are muffins. So far, nothing out of the ordinary, but we were careless because we failed to look up, and to notice that muffins and cupcakes are the same size.”, Pinkie remarked as she pointed to the area directly behind the empty space where blueberry muffins sat.
“Oh! So muffins were stolen, not cupcakes!”, Spike exclaimed.
“And, in light of this, there can be only one culprit.”, Pinkie added.
“I did what?”, Derpy Hooves questioned as she stood in her doorway while Pinkie accused her of theft.
“Last night, while the Cakes and I slept soundly, you used a high powered laser beam and cut a whole into the ceiling so that you could sneak into the duct work. Once in there you proceeded to silently crawl through the various air shafts until getting directly above the main foyer. After that you lowered yourself from the ceiling using a high tension wire attached to a device built specifically for lowering ponies slowly from ceilings, whatever it’s called. Then finally you used smoke bombs to reveal the laser defense system, gracefully sneaked past them, grabbed the muffins, then casually strolled out the door muffins in hoof!”, Pinkie exclaimed fervently.
For awhile both Derpy and Spike just stared blankly at Pinkie, neither of which was sure whether to correct her, or to just laugh.
Finally Spike spoke, “Umm... Pinkie, this is Derpy Hooves you’re talking about. This is the pony that broke a pillar with her flank while flying backwards, no offense Derpy.”
“No, you’re right Spike. I couldn’t do any of that. I’m too clumsy, and I have bad depth perception.”
“Okay, so you didn’t steal them that way, but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t the culprit.”, Pinkie said still eyeing Derpy suspiciously.
“But why would I steal muffins last night, which was a saturday, when today, like every sunday morning, the Cakes gave me a dozen free muffins.”, Derpy replied.
“Rats, I forgot today was sunday. Hmm... then I guess you’re off the hook for now, but I’m keeping my eye on you.”, Pinkie remarked then began to walk away.
“Okay! Goodbye Pinkie and Spike!”, Derpy answered cheerfully then shut her door.
“Where to now detective Pinkie?”, Spike inquired.
“Back for more clues Spike.”
Pinkie now examined the area with a magnifying glass, examining every possible angle. All that she saw were the same crumbs from before and the obvious signs on the tray that something had been there but was now long gone. She looked closer, this time noticing something new.
“Aha! A new clue!”, Pinkie exclaimed.
“What is...”, Spike began to say but was interrupted.
“No time for your comments now Spike we need to hurry to the next suspect’s house.”
“And, who is the next suspect?”
“The pony nopony suspects. Fluttershy.”
Spike just rolled his eyes and went along with Pinkie.
Pinkie pounded heavily on Fluttershy’s door. The door opened slowly as Fluttershy stood there with a puzzled expression.
“What’s wrong Pinkie?”, Fluttershy questioned.
“Somepony Stole some muffins from Sugarcube Corner.”
“Oh my, that sounds awful. Why would somepony do something like that?”
“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me? Assaulting MMMM wasn’t good enough? You had to kidnap those helpless muffins too?”
“You... lost me.”, Fluttershy said with a very blunt expression.
“She thinks you stole three muffins from Sugarcube Corner.”, Spike remarked.
“I don’t think, I know, and the evidence is right here. I found this pink hair at the scene!”, Pinkie pie said holding up the strand of pink hair.
“That’s your hair Pinkie.”, Fluttershy commented in an agitated tone, then closed her door on Spike and Pinkie.
“So it is... duh! I ate them earlier today. Silly Pinkie. Mystery solved!”, She said with a giggle, then happily bounced back to Sugarcube Corner.
Spike simply stared on in disbelief as Pinkie Pie hopped away.
The End.
