Okay, maybe I do need help...
The best thing about being Headmare Twilight’s assistant is getting to the mail before anypony else.
Actually, it’s the only good thing about being Headmare Twilight’s assistant. Most of the other tasks she has me do are pretty boring. But I love getting the mail. That way, I can go through it before the mail call and take out all the letters addressed to me. Then Twilight will never have to know I’m getting letters from Tartarus.
I’d started writing to Tirek one month ago, after learning in Equestrian History class that he knew how to drain magic from ponies. I knew that if I were able to drain magic, it would make me the most powerful being in all of Equestria! So I sent Tirek a letter asking him how to do it. He was none too pleased to hear from a filly, but he decided corresponding with me would be worth it for the good of getting revenge on those “pesky pastel ponies,” as he called them. (I don’t know why all villains seem to think that their insults need to be alliterative.)
Anyhoo, after that we’d been writing to each other regularly, and I’d just gotten another letter from him. I was eager to read it and learn more about how to drain magic from Equestria, but it was almost time for Professor Applejack’s honesty class. I tucked the precious envelope in my saddlebag and quickly flitted over to Headmare Twilight’s office to deliver the rest of the day’s mail to her. She thanked me and took the small stack of mail from me with her magic.
I stood there and watched as she used her stupid magic to set the envelopes on her desk and sort through the stack. I would’ve had to do that with my mouth. And let me tell you, mail does not taste good. Especially after it’s been in like thirty other ponies’ mouths already.
Twilight glanced up from her work and noticed that I was still standing in the doorway. “You can head to class now, Cozy.”
Horrified, I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Oh no!” I cried. “I’m late! Am I going to get in trouble?” I glanced up at Twilight, tears welling up in my eyes. I’d learned how to cry on cue at a very young age. If I cried (but didn’t whine), I was a lot more likely to get what I wanted. And what I wanted was to stay out of trouble. It wasn’t that I minded the inherent idea of detention, suspension, or the like; it was just that getting one could cause ponies to spread horrible rumors about me, and I wanted to maintain my reputation as the sweetest, most innocent filly in the entire School of Friendship.
“Of course not, Cozy,” Twilight said. “Just tell Professor Applejack you were helping me with the mail. She’ll understand.”
“Okay,” I agreed, still sniffling. I closed the door to Twilight’s office, then quickly dried my tears, plastered my best “cute filly” smile on my face, and flitted down the hall until I reached Professor Applejack’s classroom. Honesty class had never been my favorite class (that would have to be kindness class; the teacher’s such a pushover, she’ll let us do anything), but since I’d been studying with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, I’d gotten a lot better at it. I turned the doorknob with my hooves (a very hard task, but easier than doing it with your mouth), and fluttered inside the room.
Applejack noticed me come in and waved at me with one foreleg. “Well, howdy there, Cozy Glow! Come on in and have a seat. We were just getting started.”
“Thanks, Professor Applejack,” I said in my sweetest voice as I took a seat next to Silverstream, a light purple hippogriff who tended to get excited about everything. Literally everything. “We didn’t have this in Seaquestria! We didn’t have that in Seaquestria!” Honestly. I’m awfully glad I never had to live in Seaquestria.
At the front of the room, Applejack picked up a piece of chalk with her mouth and wrote the word “Secrets” on the blackboard. Looking out at the class, she said, “Now, can anycreature tell me what this says?”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. We were learning friendship, not phonics. Still, I raised my hoof in the air. “It says ‘Secrets,’” I said after Professor Applejack called on me.
“It sure does,” Professor Applejack said, adjusting the tacky cowgirl hat she wore all the time. “Now, some secrets can be perfectly fine and dandy.”
“Like if you’re planning a surprise birthday party for a friend!” Silverstream cried. Without even raising her claw. Seriously. That girl had no self-control.
“Exactly.” Applejack nodded solemnly at the hippogriff. She didn’t even call her out on speaking out of turn. “But other secrets aren’t quite as harmless. In fact, some can be downright dangerous.” She paused and looked out at the class, but it felt like she was looking directly at me. “That’s why being honest is so important.”
I raised my hoof, and Applejack called on me.
“But keeping secrets isn’t dishonest, is it?” I asked. “Not telling someone something isn’t the same as lying about it.”
“Good question, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “To some degree, you’re right. It’s not necessarily dishonest if you don’t tell your friends what you eat for breakfast each and every day. But if you’re intentionally keeping something from somepony because you don’t want them to find out about it…well, that can end up being real harmful. Even if you think you have everything under control.”
But I do have everything under control! I thought. Someday I’ll be in control!
Still, Applejack’s lecture couldn’t help but make me think of the letter sitting unread in my saddlebag. I felt a nasty pang of guilt in my stomach as she continued her lesson, her words no longer sounding like anything more than white noise. If anything was “real harmful,” then it was my plot to drain magic from Equestria. I’d never wanted to harm ponies by draining their magic, of course. I’d just wanted to become powerful, like Tirek had.
But if Professor Applejack was right, then I needed to tell someone about the secret I’d been keeping. Well, someone other than Tirek, obviously.
After class was over, I went to go see Counselor Starlight. If there was anypony I could talk to about my dilemma, it was her. Unfortunately, quite a few other ponies thought the same thing. I groaned but got in line. It was my study hall right now; so long as everypony in front of me was relatively quick, I would get the chance to talk to Starlight before my next class (laughter class with Professor Pinkie Pie, who always acted like she was on a sugar rush, and may very well have been).
I knew Starlight would take my confession well. She’d listened to me when I’d told her about failing my friendship test on purpose. And besides, she’d once been evil just like Tirek. I knew there was no way she’d judge me for writing to him.
But as five, then ten, then fifteen minutes passed, without the line having moved at all, I began to wonder if I’d even get the chance to talk to her. I was just about to turn around and leave when the door flew open and Starlight appeared in the doorway, along with her friend Trixie.
I smiled. Maybe I’d get to talk to Starlight after all, if nopony else was hoping for a long conversation like that one. I waited for Trixie to leave and for the light yellow Pegasus stallion at the front of the line to step into Starlight’s office, but he didn’t.
Starlight surveyed the long line of ponies waiting to get counseling from her. “I should probably find someone to cover for me.”
Wait, why? I felt hot tears, real ones, burn the backs of my eyes. I wanted Starlight. She was the only pony whom I knew wouldn’t be judgmental of what I’d been planning to do.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, Starlight,” Trixie laughed. “Your students will be fine.” She turned to the group of students standing in line for counseling. Which included me. “You can talk to Starlight in a few days, everypony! The two of us are going to be going on tour to Saddle Arabia!”
“Wow, really? That’s awesome, Counselor Starlight,” said the light green Pegasus mare standing in front of me in line.
“Awesome” wasn’t the word I would use to describe it. I was mad. I’d finally made an effort to take one of Professor Applejack’s lessons to heart and now Starlight was going on tour with Trixie? How in Equestria was I supposed to share my secrets with ponies if there were no ponies who would listen to me?
Wiping away my tears with the back of my hoof, which I had to do because I didn’t have stupid magic like stupid Twilight or stupid Starlight or the stupidest of all Trixie, I turned away and retreated to my dorm room to read my letter.
Author's Note
I'm still relatively new to Fimfiction, so please be nice! Constructive criticism is welcome; encouraged, even. Blanket statements such as "This is a bad story" are not. Not only are they hurtful, but they also don't help me improve my writing at all. Everypony is entitled to their own opinion, but please be respectful about how you choose to express it! Thanks!
