Episode 1: ‘The Ballad of Dumpster Twerk’
"Testing testing, uno dos tres... hmm, how about... 'burro hablando de orejas'... yeah that's better!"
"All I caught there was something about a donkey?"
"Just a sound check, Octy, s'all good."
"A 'sound check'?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Are you going to leave this sound check in when you publish this episode?"
"No entiendo."
"Vinyl, you know perfectly well what I mean. Last episode, you put it online and neglected to edit out the sound check at the very beginning."
"Just an accident, babe, it's all good."
"...an accident?"
"Yeah."
"Are you certain, one hundred percent, that you wish to abide by that story?"
"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."
"So you're content to sit there, telling me you're not the least bit suspicious about what might give me reason to suspect that you left it there intentionally?"
"That was a... weird way of wording that question. And no, not really."
"But I-"
"Will tell me anyway. Please, proceed. I'm all ears, Octy."
"Like the aforementioned donkey."
"Exactly!"
"Well, there's a very good reason that I know you deliberately left in the sound checks from last episode. And that reason is thus: you remembered to add the censor bleeps to my offensive language. Offensive language which, quite notably, takes place during the supposed 'sound check' portion."
"...ah."
"Yes."
"Hmm."
"Feeling like a bit of a numpty now?"
"Well, it's way too late to do anything about it now. It's out there for all Equestria to see on the web, and nothing you put online ever really goes away, so no real reason to sweat it."
"Why did you leave it in there?"
"Honestly?"
"Please, allow me some glimpse into your jumbled mess of a psyche."
"Well, I kinda liked hearing our voices going back and forth, and I didn't wanna delete any of it because... yeah, exactly that. I like listening to us. Even if I had to bleep your swears out, it was fun getting to listen in to us shooting the breeze. It's real, authentic us and that's the side of us I want more ponies to be able to see. Not just the squeaky clean side of us we can fake by cutting out the real stuff. So yeah, I left it in because... I wanted them to hear us the way I do."
"...that's not fair."
"What?"
"Disarming my position by being adorable is the argumentative equivalent of a tactical nuke, and you should be ashamed of yourself."
"I just got way too much rizz for you to handle."
"If you start using words like that I will be leaving this closet, locking you inside it, and selling the house."
"But-"
"And I am one hundred percent serious, so test me if you dare."
"Okay okay, just testing the waters for how much you can handle."
"Surely the waters received adequate testing last time around?"
"We're still treading water in the shallow end."
"Ah, so today we venture into the deep end?"
"We'll try for sure."
"Which is to say, I will attempt to drag you there myself."
"...meaning what?"
"Meaning that since you had a surprise for me last time around, I shall return the favour today. This seems like a reasonable method of balancing the scales, don't you think?"
"But I have-"
"A wonderful plan for this episode, I have no reason to doubt that. But I think it's only fair that since you led the last one, I take the reins this time around. Look, I even have my own prep work done."
"What's that?"
"My notebook."
"That's your notebook? Octy, you drop that on a foal, you'll pancake it."
"If you're concerned about that, I'll ensure it stays away from foals."
"But I-"
"And since we're once again crammed into our linen closet, I would certainly hope there would be no foals in here that would be at risk of flattening."
"...no, that would be a little weird."
"You think?"
"Okay, point taken! But I have brought some pillows to keep your butt from falling asleep again."
"Charming, though the gesture is appreciated. Now, my planning has been thorough, so I think we can proceed now. The sooner we get this under way, the sooner you'll see what I've got lined up for you."
"...is this gonna be some kind of revenge?"
"Maybe."
"But I bought you that fancy dinner."
"Oh, that was merely payment for saying the words on the final card. This is going to be revenge for lining up those blasted cue cards in the first place."
"I... err.... you know what, that's fair."
"So, shall I lead us in or would you rather?"
"I'd like to. Err, if that's okay with you, I mean."
"No no, go ahead, you seem to have the better energy for introductions anyway."
"Cool, thanks! Three... two... one... Hola and good day, what is up, everypony? It's pretty swell of y'all to be tuning in, this is The Drop, and welcome to Episode One! We got some cool plans today, and we-"
"What do you mean, 'Episode One'?"
"...well, I mean it's the first episode, duh?"
"If this is the first episode, what in Equestria was that malarkey with the cue cards?"
"Episode Zero."
"What... how... that's a numerical nonsensicality!"
"Octy, that was more of a pilot episode."
"A what?"
"...you don't know what a pilot episode is?"
"They failed to mention it at embroidery or elocution classes at my finishing school."
"Okay, s'all good. Know what we were saying earlier, about testing the waters? Well a pilot episode does exactly that. You put it out there, and if it doesn't really do well, back to the drawing board. But if it does do well, you know you could be on to a winner, and you make more of it."
"...so because ponies enjoyed our 'Episode Zero', we're making more, and this is the official first episode of a longer series?"
"She shoots, she scores. Got it in one, Octy."
"...I still find the name silly."
"Comprendo. Can I keep going?"
"Please. Will this all stay in the final edit?"
"Almost definitely."
"Wonderful."
"So, like I was saying... I forgot what I was saying."
"She's Vinyl, I'm Octavia, and at no point should we say the words [BLEEP], [BLEEP], or [BLEEEEP]."
"Are you just giving me extra editing work to do?"
"Yep, and seeing how much I can fluster you, get you back into Sponish."
"And I do solemnly swear not to waver under such pressures! Okay, enough with the bleeps and the donkey ears, I'll start this intro over, alright?"
"Fine, if you must, my love."
"And no more trying to fluster me."
"The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind."
"...is that you quoting something to me?"
"I'll tell you after."
"...if you say so. Ahem. Welcome, mares, stallions, and everypony in between! You’re tuned into The Drop, the podcast where music, life, and a little bit of mayhem collide. I’m your host, Vinyl Scratch, the pony with the wubs, the vibes, and a questionable ability to meet deadlines."
"Pfft."
"Made you laugh!"
"Oh, shut up and get on with it."
"And besides me, as always-"
"You mean to say, 'crammed in' next to you!"
"...is my co-host, the one, the only, Octavia! Virtuoso of the cello, defender of high culture, and undisputed champion of raising eyebrows at the continued antics of co-habiting with me."
"A title I wear with great reluctance."
"Because you love me?"
"Because I love you."
"And you wouldn't be here if you didn't love it, and -or- love me."
"I'm leaning towards more of the latter and less of the former."
"But you had fun last time?"
"...a little, shush."
"So we got a real treat for you ponies today, it's a big deal because this is officially our first... well, official episode, and-"
"Maintaining the utmost linguistic dexterity, I see."
"They know what I mean."
"Indeed. Yes, well after the shenanigans of our so-called... 'Episode Zero'... we saw fit to follow it up with more of a formal attempt towards something more structured. And dare I dream, something more tasteful."
"Hey now, 'taste' can mean a lot of things. Sometimes it’s classy, like your fancy upper-class stick-up-the-plot dinners, and sometimes it’s wild, like spicy nachos at an all-night rave."
"What... what a simply barbaric analogy!"
"Barbaric? It’s awesome! Just picture it: nachos in neon colours, glowing under blacklights, with ponies just vibing to bass drops while they chow down on hot sauce, cheese and guacamole."
"I fear for the state of your digestive system."
"You'd love it, admit it."
"I most certainly would not! Having had to use the mares room after you've been in there for twenty minutes, if that's the reason for the biological weaponry that you leave behind, I'd dare not risk it."
"But anyway! Enough about rave snacks, back to the show. We’re kicking things off today with something special. Octy’s got a surprise for me -which is kinda terrifying, but also awesome- and I’ll be diving into a little something I call Vinyl’s Vault. You’ll see what I mean soon enough."
"What, pray tell, is in this vault of yours?"
"You’ll just have to wait and see."
"Should I fear for the collective sanity of everypony who saw fit to listen in to this episodic descent into madness?"
"That's for future Octy to worry about."
"Which is precisely my concern."
"We'll get to it, don't sweat. First though, why don’t you take the reins? You said you had something lined up, right?"
"Indeed I do. But before we dive into that… might I suggest one final attempt at a concise mission statement for our show? Something that assures our audience we are not entirely as chaotic as we may seem?"
"Oh, that’s easy. How about: The Drop: where opposites attract, and the beats never stop. Boom! Nailed it."
"That… is remarkably coherent for you. Perhaps there is hope for you yet."
"And on that note, let’s get to it!"
"You're awfully keen to dive into an unknown fate."
"No sense delaying, más rápido! Andele!"
"I'll mas your rapido in a moment..."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I know it doesn't, I'm getting to it. Just let me... find.. the right... page... there we go!"
"...err... what's 'Mad-Libs'?"
"It's this darling little game made for foals, so it struck me as being right up your street, considering your infantile sense of humour."
"Love you too."
"So essentially, this sheet here has lots of little cutouts, with instructions on what type of words to write on the sheet behind it, but no further context. You fill in those blanks, and then when you remove the page with the cutouts, you'll have a full story with all the blanks filled in. I'll read it back to you, and we can see how your sense of humour fares here."
"...that actually sounds like it would be kinda funny."
"Did you ever doubt me, dear?"
"Not for a second. It's like a game, then?"
"Precisely, a game that demonstrates to our listeners the immense risk of leaving anything creative in your hooves."
"Harsh, but fair. Let's go for it."
"Lovely jubbly, I even picked a couple of short ones to get us warmed up, the first of which is music themed no less."
"Oh sweet! Lay it on me."
"Alright, to start off, I need an adjective please."
"..."
"An adjective, Vinyl."
"Yeah I uhh... just give me a second."
"Are you alright? You're blushing."
"I err... what kind of words are... those, again?"
"You... you don't know what adjectives are?"
"No I do! I just... well... I can never remember which is which."
"Oh... oh Vinyl, I'm so sorry. If I'd known, I'd never have-"
"No it's okay, Octy. Seriously. It's just the fun facts of being neurospicy."
"Do you want to cut? This is all meant to be in good fun, but the last thing I'd want is to seriously humiliate you."
"No, let's keep going. This podcast is meant to show the real me. Well, this is real, this is me."
"Okay. Well, adjectives are describing-words. Like 'sophisticated' or 'brash'."
"Gotcha. So, a describing word?"
"Yes please."
"Hmm... how about 'spicy'?"
"That'll do nicely. And next, a place name."
"'The Bass Drop.'"
"...isn't that the vulgar nightclub you frequented during university?"
"Yep! Same place I got you drunk and we-"
"Okay, good, just checking, yep yep yep. That'll do."
"Now you're blushing."
"Shut up. A noun please."
"..."
"Oh, sorry! Umm, a noun is a creature or a thing. Like a 'cello' or a 'griffon'."
"A 'turntable'."
"That one doesn't especially surprise me. And... another describing word please."
"Err... uhh... ooh, 'explosive'!"
"A tad melodramatic, don't you think?"
"Hey, whose Mad-Thing is this, yours or mine?"
"Fair enough. A verb next, which is an action. Like 'to talk', or 'to sing'."
"Pshh, easy. 'Drop'."
"Okay, it says here it wants it in the past tense, so that'll be 'dropped'."
"See, fun and educational. And you're the hottest teacher I've ever had."
"Enough trying to make me blush, Vinyl. Next up is a plural noun, so that's multiple of a creature or an object."
"I know, 'glowsticks'!"
"You know, I'm starting to have concerns about this. Another describing word, please."
"Hey, this was your idea. And I choose... 'groovy'."
"...seriously? I don't think I've heard anypony use that word in several decades."
"I think it's time it made a comeback."
"And you're such a trendsetter, how could it not. Anyway, last one. Another verb- sorry, another action word, please."
"'Bounce'!"
"With such remarkable restraint at not picking one that is too entirely ludicrous."
"You can make more 'snide remarks' after, I wanna hear this!"
"Patience, dear. Here we go. 'Once upon a time, in the spicy world of The Bass Drop, a brave turntable stood at the centre of an explosive dance floor. The crowd dropped their glowsticks in awe as the groovy DJ ascended her throne. From that day forward, ponies from all around came to bounce to the beat, proving that music truly brings us together.'"
"...okay, that was pretty cool. The turntable hero thing is kinda epic."
"You see, listeners? She's not a difficult puzzle at all, something that would amuse a young foal will maintain her rapt attention for hours on end. She could do dozens of these and not get bored."
"Hell yeah I could!"
"Sadly I've only prepped two more, however the last one is a lot longer."
"I mean, I guess that's gonna do for now, but I wanna do more of these after we finish recording."
"Pfft, I thought you might. So, this second one is also short, and is about a trip to the market."
"Okey doke, gotcha. What's first?"
"A describing-word."
"Uhh... how about 'wobbly'?"
"Delightfully amusing. Next word, multiple of an object or creature?"
"'Socks'!"
"Interesting."
"What? They're cute."
"No judgement here. Uhh.. object or creature, singular."
"'Banana'."
"Animals, multiple."
"'Penguins'."
"...any particular reason?"
"Maybe they're at the market to buy fish?"
"You know what? I can't poke a hole in that logic. Now let's see, a colour next, please."
"'Neon green'."
"Ah, a cyberpunk market, is it?"
"Could be."
"And a food item please?"
"'Pizza rolls'."
"Naturally. And a descriptive word?"
"'Chonky'."
"...should that not be 'chunky'?"
"I said what I said, Octy. 'Chonky'."
"A thousand dead linguists just turned over in their graves, but fine. An article of clothing, please?"
"'Sweatpants'."
"Classy. A kind of relative?"
"Uhhh... 'seventh cousin, thirty-eight times removed'."
"..."
"That okay?"
"Yes, absolutely fine, I just worry about your psyche sometimes. A random object?"
"Hmm. A 'toothbrush'?"
"A bit more sensible than the last one. And lastly, multiples of an object?"
"'Hotdogs'."
"Wonderful."
"We done?"
"Yes, Vinyl, we're-"
"Go, let's hear it!"
"My word, your patience leaves a lot to be desired today."
"These are funny, me encanta, go go go!"
"Alright alright, there's the Sponish again so I'll cease winding you up further. 'Today, I went to the wobbly market to buy some socks. The air was filled with the smell of banana, and I could hear the sound of penguins in the distance. I stopped at a stall selling neon greenpizza rolls, which looked absolutely chonky. The vendor, who was wearing sweatpants, told me a funny story about their seventh cousin, thirty-eight times removed, who once traded a toothbrush for a sack of hotdogs! How's that for an unusual deal?'"
"Pfffft... a toothbrush for a sack of hotdogs?! Oh jeez Octy, these are amazing!"
"I know, it's so peculiar how randomly assigning words to gaps can make such a nonsensical story. I do however find the notion of neon green pizza rolls to be rather disturbing."
"Please tell me you're keeping these?"
"Well, of course, they're right here in the notebook."
"Oh I gotta check these out again later!"
"Would you not like to do the last one too?"
"Oh, yeah, duh! Let's go!
"Now there's rather a lot to get through here, so shall we skip the banter that flows so naturally between us, and just rattle these off as quick as we can? I rather like this one, it's an old-western style story."
"Sure, let's do this. Ready when you are!"
"Okay, a describing word?"
"'Goopy'."
"Name of a desert town."
"'Cactus Gulch'."
"Objects or creatures, multiple."
"'Skateboards'."
"Object or creature, singular."
"'Taco'."
"Sensory feeling."
"'Stickiness'."
"An onomatopoeia."
"...errrr."
"A describing word."
"Oh, okay umm... 'bouncy'?"
"An object of clothing."
"'Tank top'."
"An object."
"'Cheeseburger'."
"A d-"
"Wait!"
"Something wrong?"
"...make that last one a 'cheeseburger backpack'!"
"Pfft, well, if you insist."
"I do."
"Okay, done. Next, a describing word."
"'Funky'."
"An object or creature, singular."
"'Slingshot'."
"Another object or creature, singular."
"'Frisbee'."
"An action word."
"'Munch'."
"Item of clothing."
"'Frilly tutu'."
"A textured object."
"'Rubber chicken'."
"Object or creature, singular."
"'Pineapple'."
"Objects or creatures, multiple."
"'Rollercoasters'."
"And the same again."
"'Teacups'."
"Food item."
"'Taco'."
"Err... I think you already said that one?"
"Oh? Umm... 'cheese sticks'."
"A sound."
"'Woosh'."
"An animal."
"'Donkey'."
"Again with the donkeys... objects or creatures, multiple."
"'Cookies'."
"Another animal."
"'Donkey'."
"...maybe a different animal?"
"'Mule'."
"Fine. A weapon."
"'Katana'."
"Noise of exclamation."
"'Woah!'"
"Objects or creatures, multiple."
"'Marshmallows'."
"And again."
"'Pickles'."
"A describing word."
"'Shiny'."
"Item of clothing."
"'Garter belt'."
"Animals, plural."
"'Raccoons'."
"A drink."
"'Old Fashioned'."
"A describing word."
"'Slimy'."
"Item of clothing."
"'Bandana'."
"Object or creature, singular."
"'Dumpster'."
"Action word."
"'Twerk'."
"...describing word?"
"'Fluffy'."
"And the last one, thank goodness, a type of transportation."
"'Flying spaghetti train'."
"Oh thank Celestia that's done, I thought those would go on forever."
"Yeah, gotta be honest, same."
"I do so hope the result is worth it."
"You wanna take a quick break before you read it, or?"
"No no, it's done, let's see what it says shall we?"
"You're the boss!"
"'It was a goopy day in the dusty town of Cactus Gulch, where the wind howled through the skateboards and the sun blazed hotter than a taco. The townsfolk went about their business nervously, for trouble had been brewing, and everypony could feel it like a stickiness in the air.
"'Suddenly, the doors to the saloon swung open with a loud errrr, and in walked a stranger. They were dressed in a bouncytank top, and their cheeseburger backpack glinted in the sunlight. No one knew their name or where they’d come from, but they carried an air of funky confidence. 'I’m here to set things right,' the stranger said, their voice steady as a slingshot.
"'As if on cue, the notorious outlaw, FrisbeeMunch, stepped into the street, their frilly tutu rustling ominously in the breeze. 'This town belongs to me,' they growled, their voice as rough as a rubber chicken.
"'The stranger stood tall, heading out onto the street to meet the outlaw, their pineapple ready at their side. The townsfolk scattered, ducking behind the rollercoasters and teacups littering the town, as the tension in the air grew thicker than a bowl of cheese sticks.
"'The two faced off in the middle of the street, where the only sound was the distant woosh of a donkey in the background. Hooves hovered over holsters, eyes locked like cookies in a staring contest. Then, with the speed of a mule, the showdown began. The stranger drew their katana and let out a mighty Woah! as the fight erupted.
"'By the time the dust settled, the town was a mess of marshmallows and pickles. The stranger stood victorious, their shinygarter belt flapping in the breeze. The outlaw’s reign of terror was over, and the townsfolk cheered louder than a herd of raccoons.
"'This town’s safe again,' the stranger declared, stepping back into the saloon for a well-deserved Old Fashioned. But little did they know, deep in the shadows, another slimy figure watched, plotting their next move.
"'As the stranger prepared to ride out of town, the mystified townsponies gathered around them. 'Wait,' one called out, 'we never got your name!' The stranger paused, tipping their bandana low over their eyes. 'Just call me DumpsterTwerk,' they said with a fluffy smile, before turning their flying spaghetti train toward the horizon and disappearing into the setting sun.'"
"..."
"..."
"BWAHAHAHAH!! Oh my gosh, Octy, that was amazing!"
"Pfft... oh, it... it was, wasn't it? I'm... I’m... oh goodness gracious, I'm really struggling to hold it together right now."
"Oh jeez... a bouncy tank top?! And then... then that part with the bad guy, Frisbee Munch, in a tutu?!"
"I... I just can't... I can't! It's genius! The naming scheme, the naming scheme! Noun plus Verb... such an amusing take. And the protagonist, Dumpster Twerk?! Oh my sides..."
"And a cheeseburger backpack! And armed with a pineapple and a katana... Oh Octy, I swear, I won’t stop laughing for a month!"
"Can you imagine it, Vinyl? A western... a western! Oh, it would be perfect! The headliner at the cinema... Pfft, ‘The Ballad of Dumpster Twerk’?! Hahaha... stop, stop, I can’t breathe!"
"Don’t... please... we can’t! Oh, we’re gonna have to be right back... let’s just cut to commercials!"
"...wait, commercials?"
"Hey, everypony! Pinkie Pie here, with the sweetest invitation ever! If you should ever find yourself trotting through Ponyville, stop by Sugarcube Corner! We're right at the heart of Ponyville, just past the town square at Number Twelve Market Street!
"You can’t miss it! We’ve got cupcakes, cookies, pies, and all the sugary treats you could ever dream of! Oh, and don't forget the famous Pinkie Pie special. It’s a surprise every time, but always delicious!
"And for this month only, get one of my super-duper, extra-sparkly cupcakes for free when you mention ‘Pinkie’s Party Special’ at the counter! Hurry! While supplies last!
"See you soon, everypony! Sugarcube Corner, where the fun never ends and the frosting never stops!"
"...what in Equestria was that?"
"It... it was, commercials? I thought that was obvious."
"Well, I have several notes on that matter already."
"Shoot."
"Firstly, that wasn't commercials... that was a commercial. Plural versus singular."
"Hey, it's early days. Longer we go, the more sponsors we can get."
"Noted. Second point, you say sponsor. Like you were paid to play that."
"You are correct."
"Exactly how much were you paid to play that?"
"One hot cocoa and a slice of red velvet cake."
"...so you get your afternoon snack covered, in exchange for Celestia-knows how much free publicity you're giving the local bakery."
"Hey, Pinkie Pie’s baking skills are legendary, Octy. We’re just starting out, gotta work with what we’ve got. Besides, it’s a pretty sweet deal when you think about it!"
"Sweet? It’s a single slice of cake. We’re trying to build an audience, and you want to trade our air time for... one bloody cake? That's not exactly an enticing business model."
"And a cup of hot cocoa!"
"Oh, silly me, a cup of hot cocoa too! Gosh that makes all the difference, doesn't it?"
"...is this Trottingham-level sarcasm?"
"Of course it [BLEEP]-ing well is! Do you realize how much real advertising costs in the real world? And here we are, about to negotiate our future with something that can be devoured in a matter of minutes. It’s absurd!"
"Yeah, but it’s Pinkie! You know she’s got a way of making things work out. Plus, she could throw in a second cupcake if we’re really lucky."
"Oh a second cupcake, you really should have said."
"...more sarcasm?"
"Look, next time you have any discussion about sponsorship, with anypony, loop me in. Okay? If we do sponsorship deals for actual money, we can start to offset the money you spent on this microphone setup. And then, if we're lucky, we can actually put money towards improving this setup."
"And by that, you mean 'get a setup that isn't inside a linen closet'."
"That would be a significant upgrade, yes."
"The cushions help, right?"
"Yes, my backside is lasting much longer this time around."
"That's what she said."
"Don't make me slap you. Now, we should definitely cut this part out of the final cut, shall we pick up again after the commercials? Or, I should say, commercial?"
"Yeah no worries, I'll cut all of this last part out."
"Make sure you do."
"I will!"
"Good. Count us in?"
"Sure, can do. Three... two... one... And we're back! Yes, thank you Pinkie Pie, I can personally rate Sugarcube Corner as one of Ponyville's numero uno places to stop and grab a quick snack."
"I must also agree, I rate their cinnamon rolls very highly!"
"And Octy's opinion carries a lot of weight, so if you stop there, you'll leave there carrying a lot more in your belly. You will not be able to resist, I swear."
"No arguments. Well, I hope you all enjoyed me putting Vinyl through Mad-Libs just as much as we did-
"Pffft... shiny garter belt..."
"Yes, quite. But that is sadly as much as I had prepared for that section, so now I pass the proverbial reins back to Vinyl."
"Err... you do?"
"...yes? I mean, you had your own section you wanted to do?"
"..."
"Something about a vault?"
"Oh, yes! Vinyl's Vault, yeah, thanks for reminding me!"
"So, can you finally unveil what exactly Vinyl's Vault is?"
"Okay, so, I want to encourage listener participation. When you and me, when-"
"You and I."
"Octy, pronunciation was last episode, stop living in the past."
"What? That's not-"
"Anyway! Whenever we perform live, we get some level of audience interaction. I get to see party ponies dancing and raving to my sweet beats, and Octy gets to watch stuffed shirts clap like they're watching golf."
"...not an entirely unfair observation."
"So I had to stop and think. How exactly can I get viewers involved?"
"Is this the part when I ask what idea you came up with?"
"Can I follow it up with a witty reply?"
"Drop the witty and I'll consider it."
"Fair. Deal."
"'What idea have you come up with, Vinyl?'"
"'An excellent question, my beloved wife. And I shall answer it post-haste.'"
"Please don't try and talk like a Canterlot elite pony, it sounds so strange coming from your face."
"Okey doke. The answer is so crazily simple! We'll look at the comment section."
"There's a comment section?"
"Yep, each episode gets its own one. Look, I printed these ones out."
"...well I'll be darned. It appears that they rather love listening to our conversational chemistry."
"I figure, give a shoutout to our favourite ones, and maybe encourage them to, like, ask us questions and junk? And then at the end of every episode, we can reply or answer our favourites."
"You know what, Vinyl? I think that's a superb idea."
"So, I really like this one here, by this Mountaineer pony. I can't tell if it's a he or a she though."
"Best not to assume one way or the other, keep pronouns neutral until confirmed otherwise."
"Oh, pronouns, I know that one! So, neutral means... 'they'?"
"Exactly."
"Cool. Well, they really liked the 'herb' debate, especially your comment about colliding with a banjo. They said, and I quote 'I deceased, laughing emoji'."
"By which I assume they simply posted a laughing emoji, as opposed to actually typing out the words 'laughing emoji'."
"Well, duh, Octy. That would be really weird."
"Oh, and absolutely nobody on the internet is remotely weird in any way, shape or form?"
"...fair enough. Maybe don't suggest that our listeners are weird though?"
"...also fair. Any other good comments?"
"Somepony called Turbo says 'I love the banter between those two galpals. They have so much potential!'"
"Potential? I'd certainly hope we had some potential together, given that we're married and all."
"Pfft, exactly!"
"However, we do have good banter! I do rather love that about our relationship, we're both capable of dishing it out to each other as bad as we receive it."
"Hehehehe."
"Oh shut up, you know what I mean."
"Somepony called Sweet-Ole-Bob-Eighteen says that we missed a word. Y'know, in the pronunciation game we were playing? They said that we should have tried-"
"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah... maybe let's not dredge up that discussion again, shall we? Lest we be here another few hours."
"...okay yeah, that's probably for the best. One more comment?"
"Yes, then we should wrap up, I'm starting to get hungry. We've been in here for a while now."
"Okey doke. Somepony named Butterscotch says 'Octavia is just so tired of Vinyl and it shows. Yet they still love each other despite being goofballs. I love linguistic debates and differences like this'. Whadda ya think Octy, you tired of me?"
"Oh, more than I could possibly put into words, but I suffer along because I couldn't perceive going through the rest of my life without you beside me."
"D'awww, aren't you a sweetheart."
"And yes, we love each other and manage to be goofballs, the two aren't mutually exclusive. I wasn't necessarily always so laid back, but Vinyl really has this way of bringing me out of my shell."
"It's a superpower, babe."
"It's certainly something."
"So yeah! That was Vinyl's Vault. I figure if you want your thoughts read out, or if you have any questions for us, just drop them below to be in with a chance of being featured next episode!"
"Surprisingly touching, my love. But we should wrap this up now, yes?"
"Alright, alright. That's it for today, folks! Thanks for tuning in to The Drop. We had a blast, and we hope you did too!"
"Absolutely. And remember, if you have any comments, questions, or if you just want to tell Vinyl how much you love her ridiculous ideas and that my ideas are much better and funnier... drop us a note in the comments section... below?"
"Yes, it's below."
"Thank you."
"Yeah, hit us up! We love hearing what you think, even if it’s just a meme or pointing out your favourite moment."
"Or your thoughts on the podcast itself. We’re always open to suggestions, so don't hold back!"
"Yeah! We had me giving Octy some cue cards to hear her weird accent, and-"
"'Weird accent'?!"
"...I might wind up with a slap for that one. And this time around, Octy showed me this really neat new game. But, we're always open to suggestions to things we should do, so don't be shy. Suggest away! We can’t promise we’ll take your suggestions seriously, but we will read them! Probably."
"Oh, I’ll definitely read them, Vinyl. Probably. Just... maybe don’t flood the comments with requests for baked goods sponsorships. I think we’re good on that front."
"Hey, never enough cakes! But alright, alright. Before we get carried away again... we’ll see you next time!"
"Whenever that may be."
"Yeah, no promises on timing. We’re totally recording this whenever we feel like it!"
"We are, I assure you, both of us keen to keep doing more of these. So until then, stay tuned!"
"Or don’t. It’s totally your call."
"Are you wanting the last word as well as the first?"
"I don't mind."
"Really? So if I try and sign-off, you won't chime in with one last extra goodbye? You're absolutely sure about that?"
"...sure, why not?"
"Goodbye everypony! Take care, and see you next time!"
"..."
"..."
"...later dudes!"
"Vinyl?!"
"What?"
"Honestly..."
Author's Note
Fun fact: I actually suffer from the same problem as Vinyl in this story. Verbs, Nouns, Adjectives, I know the descriptions for each. But for some reason, my brain simply will not retain the information of what description links to what form of word.
No idea why, many methods have been attempted to get the information to stick, but it never has. I hope my back-catalogue of works would indicate that this struggle hasn't inhibited my writing ability to any serious extent.
*inserts generic 'Like, Comment and Subscribe' gag*
