Rainbow Dash Learns What Gay Is

by restless0

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 4224

Rainbow Dash is by no means stupid, but sometimes Twilight Sparkle has to question the gaps in her knowledge

Twilight Sparkle has been friends with Rainbow Dash for a long time. Over that time Twilight has learned that beneath her bold and brash attitude that the cyan pegasus actually has quite a brilliant, observant mind that's keen to pick up information. It's because of that that Twilight finds it even harder to comprehend that a specific gap in Rainbow Dash's knowledge is so monumentally vast. She certainly has her work cut out for her.

A one shot based on a random funny idea about Rainbow Dash and just felt I had to write.

Contains references to sexuality and sex, and a sprinkling of Twidash.

Published 2024-11-29 19:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-29 19:00:00 UTC

Chapter 1

“Ahhhh, that hit the spot”

Stepping out of the bath, the Princess of Friendship wasted little time quickly drying herself off using a favorite spell of hers. Having a nice, warm, lovely smelling bath was something Twilight had grown very accustomed to, what with Rarity opening her eyes to the grander possibilities beyond the bare minimum of hygiene improval, but the after drying process wasn’t one she wished to partake in.

Twilight made her way through the bathroom doors and followed a very familiar direct route to the library, oftentimes an after wash book session was in order for the bookworm, other times…

“Sorry I’m late, was just washing up”

“…hm? Oh, hey Twi, it’s no biggie”

The familiar cyan pegasus barely looked up from her book as Twilight entered the library. It had become a custom for her and Rainbow Dash to read the latest Daring Do book together after Dash had fittingly blitzed through the entire catalog.

It was strange for Twilight to think she had Rainbow Dash pinned as just a jock braggart upon meeting her many years ago, but now that she had seen the many, many sides of the mare she knew she actually had an incredibly intelligent mind. While it could often be a struggle to motivate her into some topics, and she often wasn’t the most sensible, when Dash really got into something even Twilight herself could find it hard to keep up.

The “keeping up” part seemed fitting as Rainbow Dash was already head first into the latest novel in the Daring Do series: “Daring Do and the Fire of Fate”. She’d sneaked a peak at the critics' reviews and saw that they were mixed, but usually Twilight believed she had a broader perception of the inner narrative complexities that most of them simply didn’t understand.

“You know, I thought the point of this book club was to read the book together”

“Oh but, y’know, you took too long and like, come on it’s Daring Do!” This mini outburst managed to finally drag the mare’s attention away from her new fixation and brought it towards Twilight, to which she stared for a second before letting out a single note “woah”.

“What’s up Rainbow? Oh, right”

Twilight wasn’t sure if this was the onset of some sort of, upcoming alicorn growth spurt, but her mane had become a lot less manageable recently, growing halfway down her hooves. She had meant to cut it but not wanting to be any later to her meeting with Rainbow Dash the thought had slipped her mind.

“Alicorn genes now it looks like, I’ll go take care of it”

“Eh come on Twi, leave it for later it’s fine, besides I think it’s looks hot”

…What?

“Thanks for the uhhh, complement Dash?”

“Uh huh” the pegasus nonchalantly replied as her head returned to the world of the novel in front of her.

The comment remained on Twilight’s mind. Did she really mean “hot”, as in the slang term for attractive? Seductive? Potentially having high sex appeal? Nah, no way. Granted, Rainbow Dash wasn’t one not to speak her mind, unless she found that it betrayed her outward image, potentially she did mean it like that?

Twilight had never been too sure about what Rainbow Dash’s romantic life was like, the only actual direct basis she had was her interactions with Zephyr, and well, denying him of all stallions was a variable Twilight has decided to define as “common sense”. Based on Rainbow Dash’s prominent personality traits she’d imagine that her primary strategy would be to exude pure confidence and portray herself as a hit as lingering on it would bring too much embarrassment, choosing to be blunt rather than attempt to be heartfelt, this did match the compliment she just gave.

An important question in her approach however would have to be her sexuality, it potentially could be auto ruled out as any sort of advance depending on this, and due to the “common sense” variable in play here Twilight actually had no real data in this field, clearly she had to try squeeze out some information subtly, for knowledge!

“You know Rainbow Dash, some would think you’re flirting there” avoiding eye contact as she struggled out her response, Twilight waited eagerly for what the Wonderbolt would say next.

“No way dude, mares can only flirt with stallions”

…huh?

There were many potential phrasings here that simply could have given Twilight the basic conclusion of “I am straight” to her questioning, but the specific phrasing of “can only” implied some level of prejudice on the topic. Not wanting to jump to any sort of rash conclusions about one of her best friends, she pushed the topic further.

“Is there uhh, something wrong with that Rainbow Dash?”

This caused Rainbow Dash to pause reading her book and look puzzled as her eyes raised to meet Twilight’s, it wasn’t a look of offense, rather genuine confusion.

“What do you mean wrong? Isn’t that just like, impossible or some junk?”

Impossi-

What?

While this response eased Twilight’s deeper fears of some potentially larger conflict, the ease was swallowed up by the infestation of questions overloading her neural network. One was most prominent above all however.

‘Does…does she not know what being gay is?”

Surely not right? Surely there’s no way after living for over 20 years, Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, now mainstay of the Wonderbolts, literal walking pride flag, not even assuming she had any sort of same sex attraction…

But she had never even heard of the idea?

It was an impossibility! A statistical anomaly for a pony in Ponyville to never hear of this at this point in their life. That was until Twilight came to terms with one truth, one unflinching, unshakable truth…

This is Rainbow Dash we’re talking about.

“…Oh my Celestia”

“What!?” exclaimed the cyan mare as she leaned out her seat, clearly utterly taken aback by Twilight’s response.

“Rainbow Dash…do you know what a lesbian is?”

“A lesbiab?”

“A bisexual”

“Bison?”

“Gay”

“Ugggh, stop just saying words! I’m sorry I didn’t read your theasis or whatever you got us all for Hearth’s Warming I don’t know em all, are you mad at me or something cause of that!?”

All Twilight could do was let out a lighthearted snort and giggle at the full realization of the conversation that was occurring. “No no, I’m not mad, it’s just, you’ve really never heard of mares being into other mares? Or stallions being into other stallions?”

This didn’t help Rainbow Dash’s confusion much, but she was at least notably less on edge. “Isn’t the whole thing like, y’know, stallions and mares make babies, how could mares and stallions be into other mares and stallions”

Twilight was glad to rule out the possibility she would have to give that talk alongside the one that was about to happen. “While, yes, biologically only mares and stallions can create a child naturally, that doesn’t mean everypony experiences attraction based on wanting a child. Even then, magic has existed for a long time to allow two mares or two stallions to-”

“Eugh, don’t go into the icky details Twi I don’t wanna imagine that”. There was a moment of silence between the two as Rainbow Dash seemed to be processing what Twilight had told her, until her potent look of confusion was replaced with one of awkwardness.

“So you’re not like, pulling my tail are you? You’re serious? This isn’t some prank? I’ll be really mad if this is a prank!”

“Rainbow Dash I’m being serious” Twilight couldn’t help let out yet another lighthearted giggle as her horn glowed and from the bookshelf levitated down a new book and floated it over to Rainbow Dash who took it into her hooves “I’m just surprised you’ve never heard of this?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes darted over the cover, Twilight obviously well aware that she just floated down a copy of “Pony Sexualities and You”, opening it up she quickly flicked through the pages with her wings, while unlikely she was registering all the words while seated, the pictures within it were likely doing most of the work as her jaw progressively dropped until she had reacted the end and closed it.

Dropping it to her side, the high flyer was unfittingly floored “Man, why didn’t anyone tell me about this?”

“I’m just as surprised as you Dash, I mean I would’ve thought someone would’ve made that assumption about you, what with your appearance”

“Huh? What’s up with my look? Do I have like, a, mare liking feather or something?” She stood up and started looking all over herself for something unique she hadn’t seen before, raising and lowering her wings to inspect them.

“A rainbow flag is the primary pride flag to represent those who do not fall under the standard sexuality and gender norms. I wouldn’t make assumptions just because of how you look, but I’m surprised no one has”

“You’re telling me all those cool rainbow flags weren’t just like, some cool rainbow land no one told me about?”

“Nope”

“Man…I guess I’ve just never talked to a mare or stallion like that”

While this was a topic that was apparently somehow completely new to Rainbow Dash, Twilight couldn’t help but be taken aback once again at the fact that it was. “Umm, no Rainbow Dash, you’ve definitely talked to a couple”

“No way! Name one”

“Applejack”

Rainbow Dash was once again stunned by Twilight’s response. “AJ likes other mares?”

“She doesn’t really talk about that much, so I get how you might not know, but she’s a lesbian Dash, she only likes mares in that way” It was something Applejack didn’t exactly go sharing about herself like a badge of honor, but whenever it came to the topic Twilight never saw her have any embarrassment or shame in it, fitting of the strong headed farm pony, and Twilight thought it was a fine thing to share with a close friend like Rainbow Dash.

“So all those comments about like, ‘fine lookin mares’ and junk, that was…”

“Admiration and attraction, correct” The more Twilight learned about Rainbow Dash’s general unknowing interactions in this field, the more and more surprised Twilight became in the fact that Dash had somehow never once came to the conclusion of more than one sexuality, it defied all logic!

Rainbow Dash seemed lost in thought before shaking her head “Ok well that’s only one, bet you can’t name another”

“Pinkie, she’s pansexual”

“Damnit! Wait pan…pansexual? Like she’s-”

“No”

“oh”

Twilight sighed “Pansexual is someone who feels sexual attraction to others regardless of whether they’re a mare, stallion or anything else”

“The idea of Pinkie…ew…though that does sound like her”

“And there was nothing wrong with the thought of Applejack?”

At this Rainbow Dash’s face went red “Well- I- I mean… I mean come she’s- she’s Applejack you know!? She’s cool like me, works hard, has great hair, she’s nice…really strong…could…” Dash seemed like her mind was banished to the moon rather than being present for the general topic at hand, Twilight decided not to rapidly swing the door open on this avenue despite how enticing the light shining through the crack was.

Twilight was in full teacher mode as she had the blackboard and chalk brought towards her via her magic and used it to illustrate her points. “And of course beyond sexual and romantic attraction, there’s also unique gender identities such as-”

“You mean like trans or whatever? Yeah I know all that”

Any Daring Do fan who had watched any of the film adaptations of the novels would have been well accustomed to the sound of a sliding stone slab or pillar, which was a good reference to describe Twilight as her neck slowly rotated 180 degrees from the blackboard in front of her to face Rainbow Dash.

“…You do?”

“Uh huh, Trixie told me all about how she was a stallion but then became a mare, I still think she kinda stinks and all but that’s pretty awesome of her”

Any thoughts of explanation via instinctual teacher methods went out of the castle window along with the now thrown away blackboard when Twilight was dragged back down to Equestria once again by the sheer improbability of Rainbow “Danger” Dash.

“You’re telling me you know all about gender identity from her and never once learned she was gay?”

“She is!? Is every pony I know not telling me this?”

“Well, her and Starlight don’t exactly skip town during the cold season of Hearth Warming in a small crummy, tight fit wagon definitely not built for two cause it’s practical”

“Starlight said they had important friendship lessons planned!” Twilight just raised an eyebrow in her direction. “...Ohhhhhhh, gross, who else am I missing then?”

“Well to name a few, Rarity, Fluttershy, Discord is whatever he feels like that attosecond, Lyra and Bonbon have been dating for years, Vinyl and Octavia too, Berryshine and the many, many students who have apparently came to Starlight at school about it. And that’s the abridged version”

“Ok ok I get it geez. Guess I just haven’t seen any of them smoochin up a storm or anything”

“Rainbow Dash about every third pony you’d talk to in this town has some sort of differing romantic or sexual attraction, you’re seriously telling me no one other than Zephyr has made a pass at you?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me, what’s that meant to mean anyways?” she took a fairly defensive sounding tone.

“You’re Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty, a mainstay of the Wonderbolts, the inventor and only performer of the Sonic Rainboom.” Rainbow Dash nodded and smirked along with Twilight’s highlights of her life “You’re a fast, strong, fit, lean and vibrant mare that radiates confidence and while you can get caught up in your own ego-” Rainbow Dash’s nodding to the compliments stopped to give a slow and reluctant nod to that last bit “-you ultimately care highly for others and would do almost anything to do right by them. You’ve also to my knowledge never had a single relationship with a stallion nor any sort of friendship that could be interpreted as romantic.” Rainbow Dash shook her head and Twilight stopped, until Rainbow Dash once again reluctantly nodded and Twilight sighed. “What I’m saying is that you're a walking mare magnet and not a single one has ever made a pass at you? Really?”

“Woah Twi, almost sounds like you’re making a pass now”

“Huh? No way, I’m just making basic observations”

Wheeling out her iconic backup blackboard (Twilight noted that would make an excellent tongue twister) she began listing numbers and pie charts and all manner of statistics to illustrate her point. “In a recent large scaling polling of mares who were attracted to other mares, many of the traits I just described were among the most popular, it’s simple logic”

“Man Twi, only you could turn being hot into math. So what are you then?”

“Me? Oh, I’m bisexual, I’m attracted to more than one gender” To Twilight this was of course a very basic topic at this point of questioning, but she was always eager to share knowledge with anyone who wanted it, for non nefarious purposes of course. “What about you?”

“M-Me? What do you mean?”

“Well you know, I thought this conversation might’ve been an eye opener for you, or do you still just like stallions? Or maybe just nothing at all? That’s perfectly fine too”

“What- do I- oh yeah ha ha of course you know me, love those stallions and their uhhh, y’know, stallionness ha ha”

“Uh huh” Subtly in doubtful tone wasn’t Twilight’s specialty. Despite not being the element of honesty, lying under pressure was never Dash’s strong suit.

“Whelp! This has been a fun book club gotta go and uhhh, be awesome you know how it is busy schedule bye!” In a rainbow flash the mare darted out of her seat and headed for the library’s double do-

“Rainbow!”

Her swift exit was brought to a halt at the call of her name as she slowly turned to look back at her close friend.

“Listen…Dash, I know this is a very new and potentially very awkward topic to think about, especially after apparently not knowing almost anything about it.”

Rainbow Dash crossed her forehooves and pouted “Thanks for the reminder”.

“You might not want to talk about it right now, but I just want you to know I’m here for you if you ever feel open to talk about it, ok?”

“I…” Rainbow Dash turned away from Twilight to gather her thoughts, Twilight waited patiently for her close friend to come to a decision. Suddenly Dash whipped back around and was flying face to face with the purple mare. “Pinkie promise!”

“Huh?”

“You gotta Pinkie promise you won’t tell anyone else, and- and that you won’t laugh at me”

Twilight took a brief moment to process before smiling and performing the accompanying motions for the phrase “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye”.

Even with Twilight meeting her demands Rainbow Dash was still hesitant to accept it, before ultimately nodding and placing herself back on the seat she was in before, Twilight levitating a seat of her own close by.

“Man, I hate therapy”

“Well, we’re here because you chose to be, so it’s up to you to open up”

“Right, I just, ugh” It was rare for Rainbow Dash of all ponies to be lost for words. “I may…I may have thought that some mares were uhh, pretty but in a stallion way”

“In a stallion way?”

“Cause that’s the way it was supposed to be right? There’s no way I find that mare pretty or anything cause that’s not how I’m supposed to think, but now I don’t know what I’m supposed to think”

“Well, have you ever actually found another stallion attractive?”

“Uhhh, maybe? I don’t know man. I don’t have stallion friends. Well there is Soarin, he’s nice but I wouldn’t say anything like that, Zephyr is Zephyr, Quibble’s a fun guy but he’s just a buddy y’know”

Twilight had conjured up a note board and glasses and was taking notes on the conversation at hoof. “And what about mares? Any particular ones you’ve thought of ‘in a stallion way?’”

“No! Maybe!? …A little.” Rainbow Dash was looking flustered at the idea of having to answer this but unfortunately knew she’d have to persevere.

“Well, uhhh, you Pinkie promised you wouldn’t say anything so…Applejack kinda, makes me think that, a lot. I mean come on! She’s the strongest, hardest flank kicking pony in all of Equestria! Next to me of course. I thought before if she was a stallion that’d be hot, now it’s…ugh! Twilight, am I weird?”

“We’re always a bit weird Rainbow Dash, here though that’s perfectly normal. It’s common to experience sexual attraction towards another despite not actually having an intent to pursue anything further, it’s just simply something you like about another pony and doesn’t always line up with your romantic interests.”

“Cool cool cool cool cool cool” repeated Dash as she tapped her hooves together over and over. “Well, there’s also Fluttershy, I guess she’s just pretty right? Always helping me with Tank and other animals, she just shines and looks real pretty when she does all that stuff”

“I get what you mean, she does have that comforting aura around her”

“Right? Man this feels so much easier to not keep bottled up”

Twilight chuckled “Hey don’t let me stop you, if there’s anything else you feel like getting out there while we’re at it”

“Well I mean, there’s Rarity, but she’s Rarity y’know?” Twilight nodded, in no sort of dismissive manner, Rarity was the direct model for what Twilight would define as ‘conventionally attractive’. “I mean Lightning Dust made me think about it, before she turned into a jerk, Spitfire’s got some lungs in her ha ha! And then there’s…”

Twilight stopped jotting down notes and lowered her impromptu glasses as Rainbow Dash stopped speaking and fidgeted around “and then there’s…?”

“I mean there's…y-y-…oh come on I already said it earlier!” Rainbow Dash was the most flustered Twilight had seen her today. Unsure in the moment what she was referring to Twilight quickly retraced their verbal steps until it all came back to the exchange that started this whole ordeal.

“Ohhh…oh you mean…oh you mean me?”

“…Yeah”

An awkward silence hung over them. Twilight had felt no shame complimenting Rainbow Dash’s attractive qualities, it was something she had observed for a long time and despite never verbalizing it before she could justify it under the guise of common sense.

On the other hand Twilight had no real inflated perception of her own self image to match it, she was not without people asking her out, albeit only after she became a princess, and being called pretty by them. Hearing such a compliment out of Rainbow Dash however hit in an area she hadn’t really processed until now. The silence endured before Rainbow Dash finally managed to squeak out a sentence.

“Man you must hate me right now”

It took this to snap Twilight out of her thoughts for once. “What? No! No way it’s nothing like that! I’m just, not used to it, not like this at least”

A brief but still tangible silence lingered yet again before Twilight spoke up.

“So, what exactly is it about me you find attractive?”

“I don’t know… you’re…you’re always there no matter what, you work harder than anypony to keep everyone happy, you have a cute snort when you laugh, you’re a complete and total dork about your interests no matter what it is like you just don’t care what others think and look good doing it, but you can be snappy when you want to be… I don’t know man I like that about you I think it’s cool, and a bit…hot I guess”

“…Wow, that’s uhh, that’s a lot Dash” Twilight felt herself blushing this time, it wasn’t every day she got showered in precise compliments like that, even if she was somewhat setting herself up for it.

“Well I’m not taking it back, you’re a really cool and hot friend Twilight” Rainbow Dash seemingly managed to regain some of her usual confidence as she stayed committed to her response.

“…Alright then, is that all?”

“Huh?”

“Just wondering if that’s all you had bottled up, or did that help you figure out what you think?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never done any mushy lovey dovey sexy stuff, I’m not sure how I really feel”

“Well, do you want to give it a try?”

At this suggestion Rainbow Dash’s wings suddenly unfurled. “Huh!? Woah woah woah Twi, isn’t that a bit much?”

It took a second for Twilight to catch on to what Rainbow Dash was referring to until she realized what she was potentially implying “Oh! Oh no no no, nothing that far yet, I was just thinking of a kiss or something”

“Oh, ok, yeah that makes more sense…wait yet?”

“Anyway! It might not mean a lot, but I thought a kiss could maybe help you figure things out, depending on how you feel after and all”

“Yeah, yeah yeah that makes sense, ok sure”

Dash scooted her chair closer to Twilight’s until they were staring at each other face to face. Twilight simply stared with her head slightly turned and smiled at the pegasus, while Rainbow Dash struggled to keep eye contact as she constantly looked all over the library, seemingly for some excuse to get herself out of the hole she'd willing dug herself in. “Ok just, just close your eyes.”

“Alright” Twilight did as she was asked and waited. While Twilight was trying to be as mature as possible about this, admittedly she didn’t actually have that much experience in intimacy like this. Rarity had set her up on dates before but they never really went much further than a peck on the cheek. Rainbow Dash was a dear friend, and Twilight did think she was attractive, but she had never really thought about it further than that, of course that meant Twilight was feeling awkward about this too, but for her friend she would manage, she would persevere, she would-

The kiss came in quickly and without warning causing Twilight’s eyes to open and wings to shoot upwards. Despite it seemingly being her first time Rainbow Dash was a surprisingly good kisser, it felt both gentle but passionate as she took the lead, until Twilight leaned in harder, slowly making leeway on the mare. It lasted for about 10 seconds until Dash finally pulled away, opening her eyes and looking more flabbergasted than Twilight was. The two sat in silence until Twilight spoke up first.

“Ha ha, well uhhh, that was nice”

“...Hey Twi?”

“Yeah Dash?”

“...I think I might be a lesbiab”

Author's Note

Wrote this in like two days but the idea of Rainbow Dash not knowing about this despite how obvious the idea seems sounded both really funny and completely in character and was in my head for a while so I finally got around to it.