Twilight Vs. Technology

by ChainReaction

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 8085

Twilight Sparkle. Bearer of the Element of Magic and personal student of Princess Celestia herself h

Twilight Sparkle, bearer of the Element of Magic and personal student of Princess Celestia herself has always been a curious mare. She loves books, reading, and embracing new advancements in pony society, but what would she do if she had an obstacle she couldn't overcome?....or two?....or ten? Well, the answer for Twilight has always been the same when dealing with circumstances like this...get really, really, really frustrated. (This is a fic dedicated to one of the coolest comic series I have seen in the fandom that goes by the same name, the maker of which is the ever-awesome Sintakhra on deviantART)

Published 2012-10-16 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-18 01:19:50 UTC

Twilight Vs. iPhone

Author's Note: Again, much thanks to Sintakhra for giving me permission to write this and giving us all wonderful art, comics, etc. Sintakhra's profile on dA can be found here.

Twilight flipped through the pages of the tiny book with precision while she walked around in the quiet library. Using her magic to do so was a simple thing for her. What was hard was doing so without wrinkling or creasing the tiny pages of the manual itself. Even though the manual was tiny, she could still read the text that was printed on it with ease. She read every tiny detail on her new device before using it.

"Let's see..." the unicorn spoke to herself, assessing the information she had just gathered.

"According to the user manual, it says that unicorn magic can be used to operate this thing. All they have to do is cast a levitation spell around the phone and gently slide across the arrow on the touch pad to unlock," Twilight spoke.

Enveloped in a purple aura, she brought the square device up to her eye level and gave it a curious look while sitting the manual down on the floor. Remembering she had to press what was called the home button first, she lightly pushed on it with her magic. The screen lit up magnificently which prompted her to put on a smile. Displayed on the screen was the image of a silver apple that had a bite taken out of it. On the top of the screen, it displayed the time and date, while on the bottom it displayed a single tab with an arrow that said: 'Please Unlock Before Using'.

Twilight smiled to herself.

"Seems easy enough," she said happily before pressing gently on the screen with her magic. She attempted to slide the tab, but found that her magic slipped and didn't allow it to budge.

Twilight frowned.

"Maybe," she said, a little peeved.

Once again, she gently pressed forward on the screen with her magic and tried sliding the tab across to unlock the iPhone.

It didn't budge.

'Please unlock before using.' is all that it said across the bottom, occasionally lit by a faint light that would illuminate the letters from left to right.

Twilight frowned once more and furrowed her brow.

"Come on..." Twilight spoke under her breath.

Pushing a little harder, Twilight slowly pressed down on the tab, attempting to slide it across to no avail. She tried again and again but she couldn't get a grip on the sly tab. It kept eluding her with every attempt.

'Please unlock before using.'

Twilight's eyes began to narrow.

"Pinkie told me magic works with this gizmo. Am I supposed to press down harder, or am I not pressing down in the right spot? Why won't it unlock?" she asked, but only got silence in return from the empty room, the black iPhone still floating in front of her. Twilight tried to unlock the phone once more, repeating the process of pressing down on the touchscreen with her magic, a little harder as time passed. After each failed attempt at unlocking the phone, Twilight Sparkle's eyes narrowed even further. The narrower they became, her eyebrows continued to act on instinct and follow their example. Anger started to swell within her. No matter how much she tried she couldn't seem to unlock the new iPhone. She cast a glance to the screen once more.

'Please unlock before using.'

Her left eye twitched.

She began to rattle it back and forth with her magic while rage began to build inside her.

"That's it! No more Miss Nice Sparkle!" she said a bit louder than she intended to, continuing to rattle the device out of frustration before more attempts at unlocking the screen.

'Please unlock before using.'...'Please unlock before using.'...'Please unlock before using.'

"Why won't you work?!" yelled the mare desperately to the iPhone that would not cooperate with her at all.

Twilight stopped herself.

"Ok," she spoke while taking several deep breaths. "There is no need to get angry Twilight, right? Keep it together. You are the personal student of Princess Celestia. You aren't going to let some silly phone get to you, right?" the lavender mare asked herself. She giggled.

"Of course not! It's just an iPhone....just an iPhone," she repeated while she stood and stared into the screen of the rectangular phone that hovered in front of her.

"Just...an...iPhone..."

::One Hour Later...::

"WHY WON'T YOU UNLOCK?!" screamed the unicorn at the top of her lungs.

'Please unlock before using.'

Twilight stood in the middle of her library rattling the phone like a madmare. The poor unicorn had tried to get the device to unlock for a full sixty minutes. She could not contain her temper any longer. After repeatedly failing to slide the tab on the bottom of the phone across, she was on the verge of having a meltdown. Twilight got her face inches away from the screen after flailing it back and forth in the air like it was a weapon.

"You listen to me!" screamed the lavender mare at the inanimate object, before growling at it like an animal.

"Work! I am the Element of Magic, and I demand that you WORK!" she screamed before pressing down hard on the screen while closing her eyes with strain, and swiped the bottom tab like her life depended on it. Hopeful, she cracked her deep purple eyes open slowly and brought the iPhone back up to her face.

'Please unlock before using.'

...

"STOP MOCKING ME!" Twilight screamed before tackling the multifunctional monstrosity to the ground.

No longer would it taunt her with its musings. She would not be made a fool by this simple device. Nopony in this world had more determination than Twilight Sparkle had to show this smartphone who was the boss. She rolled on the library floor while struggling with the phone, as if she was wrestling Rainbow for the latest Daring Doo novel. Valiantly battling the iPhone with her magic, she continued to try and unlock it. Even though it was day time and the sun shone in the library, it might as well have been pitch black due to Twilight's pure focus on getting the phone to bend to her will.

Pressing a little too hard with the force of her telekinesis, she heard a kerzap.

"Aha!" yelled Twilight, who assumed that the noise meant progress on her goal. "I have you now!" she screamed and looked down toward the phone.

It began to bubble and bend under the exertion of her magic, distorting and getting brighter and brighter,

Twilight's eyes widened as she looked at those horrendously taunting words.

'Please unlock before using.'

FWOOSH!

"AAIIEEEE!" screamed the lavender mare as she saw the phone burst into flames. Panicking, she quickly threw the flaming piece of tech onto the ground and stomped on it with her hooves, before it could catch her whole library on fire. After stomping on the late iPhone several times, she backed away and looked at the damage. All that remained was a blackened orange pile of circuitry and burnt wiring, but through the charred remains of her iPhone, she could have sworn she saw those four horrible words, burning into her soul; 'Please unlock before using.'

Twilight let out a long sigh and looked at her coat. It was black from smoke and her fur had a few singes from where the phone had caught fire while she was on top of it, beating it into submission with magic. She also had a few hairs sticking up out of her mane, which was now a complete mess. Twilight slowly turned away from the pile of scrap.

*sizzle*...*sizzle*

Hearing the remains sizzle throughout the dead quiet library was enough to put Twilight on edge once more. Leaning her head down and scowling back at the pile, she uttered three threatening words,

"You. Saw. Nothing..."

The library door swung open.

"Twilight! Check out what I-"

Spike didn't finish his sentence, as his green eyes stared at the sight before him.

On the ground was a sizzling pile of what was once an iPhone, burnt to oblivion. Spike looked to see his best friend and the mare he considered to be his sister with burn marks all over her matted fur, a scornful look, and hot steam pouring out of her nostrils.

There was silence in the Ponyville library as neither of them moved for a bit. Then Spike held up his right hand, with a small, rectangular device inside of it.

"I got us a new iPhone, because I wasn't sure if you had bought one yet. Look," he spoke quietly, before pressing the home button in and lighting up the screen. He then used his opposable claw to slide the tab on the bottom across the screen, unlocking the phone with a click. He held it up in the air so Twilight could see.

Her jaw dropped and her left eye twitched several times.

Twilight Vs. iPod

"Okay, let's see what we got here." Twilight spoke to herself as she began to reach in the huge box and pull out gobs of packing peanuts.

After the horrible incident with the iPhone yesterday, Twilight Sparkle was determined to rise above it and attempt to conquer a device that was much more simple. She went out earlier this morning and bought an iPod at the new electronics store that was built next to Quills and Sofas. Fortunately, she needed to pick up some new quills as well while she was downtown. She saw that the iPod seemed much simpler than the iPhone and it was much easier to work. She still couldn't contemplate how Pinkie Pie, an earth pony of all ponies, could use an iPhone better than her.

In the empty and somewhat messier than usual library Twilight leaned down into the over-sized cardboard box. So over-sized in fact that it seemed to envelop half her body. Her flank hoisted in the air and wiggled as she dug through the box.

"Aha!" Twilight said loudly, at finding the huge manual for the iPod. She gripped what she was looking for in her magic and pulled it out of the box while pulling herself out of the mass of packing peanuts. Doing so caused many of them to be pulled out and scattered on the floor.

Twilight flinched at how messy her surrounding area became with the galore of shipping product. With a faint glow, she grabbed all of them with her magic and stuffed them into the cardboard box once more while still holding the large manual in the air.

"Honestly, why some ponies don't take things out of the shipping box first is beyond me," the young mare said out loud to no one in particular.

"Now, where was I..."

Twilight took a good, long look at the manual that she was levitating. It was leather bound, oddly enough. Twilight's eyes widened at what the title of the huge manual read.

How to work
Your MP3
Player

A basic guide by
Ms. Scratch

Twilight could feel her teeth begin to grind together.

"Ms. Scratch?" she asked angrily. "As in, Vinyl Scratch? The pony who wakes me up every single morning by blaring her stereo with that dubstep stuff!" Twilight yelled. "How wonderful! What could she possibly know about writing a manual, let alone a whole book that is as thick as a manual?! I particularly just love when she sticks her head out the window every morning and yells," Twilight ranted and geared up the goofiest cross-eyed expression she could muster.

"Awwww yeeeaaah! Gooood Moooorniiing Ponyville!" she ridiculously imitated Vinyl Scratch with her voice as deep as she could possibly get it.

Twilight scoffed.

"How ridiculous!" she said before tossing the book with her magic onto the wooden table in the center of the library. The lavender mare then trotted over to the box to get her iPod, her hooves making a clip-clop the whole way, which echoed throughout the empty library.

Reaching in the box with her magic she pulled out a long, slender pink container of some sort with the same logo that her late iPhone bore. The logo alone sent shivers down her spine after what happened yesterday. She chased Spike for hours, screaming at him to tell her how he unlocked his iPhone. Spike thought he was dead, for sure. Fortunately, after running him into a bookcase and knocking him unconscious for several minutes, Twilight apologized profusely for acting so horrible to her number one assistant, before offering to take him out for ice cream. Spike assumed that this was to help dull the concussion he received.

Gently levitating the container, she slowly took the lid off to reveal the shiny, pink device with a two and a half inch LCD display. Underneath the display there was a single purple circle that had four symbols. One said MENU, the other was a double arrow facing the right, another double arrow facing the left, and one she assumed meant play and pause. Twilight smiled at her relatively simple understanding of the iPod.

"This should be simple!" Twilight announced with a happy grin on her face. Then she scanned the device for the power button.

::Thirty Minutes Later...::

To say that Twilight was mad that she had to consult the manual would be an understatement. Twilight was furious that she was forced to read the manual due to not being able to even turn the power on for her new iPod.

"How am I even supposed to read these instructions knowing she wrote them?!" she yelled. Reluctantly, she glanced over the page in the power section of her manual.

'In order to get the wub from your new iPod, you're gunna have to turn on the power. This is like, a given, but yeah. In order to turn on your new epic device fore maximum wubage, you're gunna need to press down on the magic button. Now, the magic button is what happens to make all the awesome music on your iPod run as well. It also, has the feature to stop the wubage if you want, mid-song. But, I recommend you never stop the wubage, unless like, you gotta use the bathroom or somethin'. Now, the magic button is located underneath the song select button. This is mainly used for when you want some of my music to be rockin' your pony earholes. Why? Because bass cannon, that's why! Right under that baby will be where you'll find the magic button. For more info, look in the appendix of the manual.'

Twilight stood and stared at the manual, mouth agape in disbelief, her intelligent mind nearly fried by the words she just read.

"HOW IS THIS EVEN A THING?!" screamed Twilight at the top of her lungs. Twilight began to breath heavily.

"This actually passed Canterlot Publications and got made into a full manual?! This is the worst advice ever! How am I even supposed to understand what wubage means?! And an appendix?!" Twilight yelled, half in shock at the horrible manual and the other half being pure anger.

"I guess I'll try the appendix!" screamed the mare as she was once again one the brink of having one of her meltdowns.

Quickly she sifted through the levitated book with her magic until she found what she was looking for. Worrisome, she scanned the text, hoping it would better clarify her iPod.

'Greetings. I know that Vinyl can be a bit...odd, in her descriptions of your device. I was actually entirely against making this manual in the first place, but then I was swooned by talks of "Tavi I'll do the dishes without the wubs if you help me publish this manual, I swear." Honestly, I didn't even fully expect such dribble to be passed through publication but yet here I am, describing your device for you...being regretful...How is this my life?'

Twilight was a little more than freaked out by the obvious melancholy of Octavia as she began the Appendix of the manual. She continued to read down the page.

Play/Pause Button (Magic..button); This is the button on the bottom of the wheel of your iPod that allows you to turn its power on or off. Personally, I would leave it off and pick up a Violin or something similar...but that's just me...'

Twilight beamed with happiness.

"Finally! A clear answer!"

Twilight looked down at the iPod on the floor of the library that she gently placed there while levitating the manual above it. She gently pressed her hoof down on the Play/Pause button and the display lit up. At this point, the mare was beaming.

"I did it! It's on!" Twilight announced happily. She looked up at the manual once more and began to read Octavia's descriptions.

After several minutes of sifting through very sad writing, and being convinced she was going to give Octavia a hug next time she saw her, Twilight believed she got the just of the process.

"Gently stroke your hoof around the circular pad to scroll to a song," she spoke out loud. She looked down at the device and gently touched it with her hooves, before tracing along the wheel. It made a click with each highlighted movement on the LCD while swapping through the sample songs. After finding one to try, Twilight glanced up at the manual once more.

"Now press firmly on the central button in order to select and play the song," she spoke once more to herself, assessing the information. She gave a satisfied smile to herself while she closed her eyes. She did it. With this action. she will have near mastered the use of her iPod.

She firmly pressed her hoof down on the central button.

CRACK...sputter...poof

She dropped the manual on the ground at the realization that she just stomped on her iPod, and completely shattered it.

*Twitch*

"Boy...I really hope Twilight doesn't get angry with that iPod if she hasn't learned how to use it yet," Spike said while he held his iPhone sideways in both claws, playing a new app he bought called 'Robot Unicorn Attack'. All of a sudden he heard a whistling noise.

He looked up in the sky to see something falling. It was pink and purple. Spike narrowed his eyes to get a better focus.

"Is...that an iPo-"

CRACK!

"AAAAGGH! MY HEAD!"

Twilight Vs. Email

"What a long day," spoke Ponyville's resident librarian as she opened the door to her tree house. Her eyes scanned the library as the sun shone its rays in the windows, illuminating the study completely.

"Spike, I'm home!"

No answer came from the empty library.

"Are you there?!"

"Are you going to throw something at me again?" came a shaking voice from up the stairs. Twilight let out a long sigh.

"I told you it was an accident, mister. How was I supposed to know exactly where you were when I threw it out the window?" Twilight asked her assistant with minor annoyance as she took the purple bag off her side and sat it down on the floor. Spike reluctantly started walking down the stairs, remaining cautious the whole way. The lavender unicorn looked over to the stairs to find her number one assistant using a Daring Doo novel as a makeshift shield.

Twilight looked unamused.

"Really, Spike?" she asked the little drake.

Spike raised his eyebrow.

"Are you unarmed?"

Twilight's eye twitched.

"For the last time, It. Was. An. Accident!" she yelled.

Spike put the book back on the table behind him, before wiping his forehead with his claw.

"Phew; I thought you went out to get another iPod," he told her.

"Don't be silly, Spike. I'm done with all that Apple stuff," Twilight told him.

A pink pony popped her head through the study's open window.

"Awww. You shouldn't be a meanie mean pants to Applejack, Twilight," Pinkie told her friend while careening her neck through the window.

Twilight jumped a bit from the shock of pony who all of a sudden spoke right behind her.

"Pinkie? What are you doing in my window?" she asked the pink mare, who's body quickly followed through the window and landed on the floor of the library. She giggled and began to bounce in place, her messy pink mane moving in the opposite motion of her body.

"I'm not in your window now! Now I'm on the floor. Hey! Didja like have better luck with the iPod yesterday than your iPhone?" Pinkie asked her friend happily while continuing to bounce on the library's floor. Twilight put her hoof behind her head and scratched her mane in a sheepish fashion.

"Not really," she answered.

"She decided it would be great for practicing with, though," Spike spoke while chuckling. Pinkie's ears perked up and she shot over to where Spike stood before leaning down.

"What kind of practice, Spikey Wikey?" she asked him, feeling the joke coming from a mile away.

Spike put his claw up to his mouth to contain his laughter.

"For the Ponylympics of course. She's been trying out for the shot put," he finished.

Spike and Pinkie guffawed at the horrible punch line and fell on the ground, holding their bellies in a fit of giggle-snorting laughter.

"Hehehehaha*snort*hahaha. Good one, Spike!" Pinkie told the drake.

"Haha. Thanks. I have been practicing my stand-up comedy," he told her as they continued to gale in laughter. Twilight was now glaring at them.

"Pinkie, did you come here for something?" Twilight asked her good friend which she was about to kick out her front door.

Pinkie jumped up and her eyes widened.

"Oh yeah! I was gunna wish you good luck with your computer!" Pinkie spoke happily. Twilight only returned her smile with a confused look.

"Computer?" she asked. The unicorn's eyes then moved to the table where Spike sat the Daring Doo novel. Her jaw dropped.

"Aha! It's here!" the unicorn exclaimed happily before trotting over to the brand new PC that was on her table. She ordered a computer not even a week ago, and evidently they delivered it this afternoon and Spike set it up for her along with the modem and speakers. Pinkie chuckled at her friend's excitement.

"Well, you have fun Twilight! I just remembered I had to make three dozen batches of muffins this afternoon for Derpy. She said it was for a family reunion," the party pony told her. Twilight didn't seem to notice as she just waved her hoof backwards in her friend's direction. Her eyes were glued to the LCD screen.

"Alright Pinkie, see you later," Twilight told her friend while admiring the slick design of the monitor.

Pinkie laughed under her breath at Twilight's awe towards the new piece of tech, before bouncing towards the doorway. Spike finally stopped laughing and stood up to notice Twilight in front of the computer, eyeing it over with a huge smile on her face. His eyes began to widen at the feeling of impending doom.

"Wait Pinkie! Take me with you!" he yelled before running out of the doorway and down Ponyville.

Twilight had opened up a new window in Internet Explorer.

"Alright," the lavender mare beamed. "Let's see if I remember how to do this."

She moved her hoof along the mouse pad up to the favorites bar. Once the cursor was hovering over the little purple Y, she gently tapped the mouse pad twice with her hoof. Her page went blank and began to load Yahoo. Twilight rubbed her hooves together in excitement.

"Oh this is so exciting! With Spike out on his adventure, I'll have to use this gizmo to update the Princess on my studies!" she exclaimed happily. Luckily, Spike had already logged her email in for her and set it to save her password, so all she had to do was lightly click on the yellow 'Log In' button. She was getting better at determining how hard she had to press her hooves down. The unicorn clicked on compose message and it brought up a new Email.

Twilight squee'd with happiness.

"I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it, and there is no risk of breaking anything!" she announced like she had overcome the obstacle of a lifetime. She clicked on the large empty space until a highlighted line appeared, indicating she could start typing her message.

"Now," she began as she placed her hooves over the black QWERTY keyboard. She looked down at the letters and began to type.

"Dear...Princess...Celestia..."

Ratta tatta tatta

She looked to the screen with utter joy to see how her introduction begun. It read,

dxdr v;podfim cdsdsd cdxdl.,eddsgkos...

Twilight formed a frown and raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm...That's not what I wrote..." the Element of Magic spoke. She clicked on backspace with her hoof until she erased the gibberish she had originally typed.

"Let's try this again," she said before placing her hooves on the keyboard and keeping her eyes trained on the screen this time. Slowly, her hooves moved across the keyboard to type, letter by letter.

"Deeeaar..." she drew out. Her eyebrows furrowed when all she saw on the screen was,

sztfeaws\aesf...

"Oh come on!" Twilight exclaimed loudly as a little white filly walked outside her window on her way to Carousel Boutique, causing her to stop and get a strange sensation of Deja Vu.

"How'd the ellipses even get there?! I wasn't even touching the punctuation keys for pony's sake!" Twilight yelled in frustration.

::Fifteen Minutes Later...::

"COMEONECOMEONCOMEONCOMEONCOMEON!" screamed the unicorn as she punched the keyboard like Muhaymmad Ali during an Equestrian heavyweight match. After wailing on the keyboard for several minutes, trying to understand the irrationality of typing with hooves, she once again looked to the screen while breathing heavy breaths of anger and frustration. It read,

dsisisi dl;d. cleyoqhbuq, hoep;mos;'1[w,,xk/feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewioejjZZZ...

"GAH!" Twilight screamed in frustration before slamming her face down on the keyboard with a thud.

...ZZZZZZ...Derp...

The lavender mare's cheeks burned red with frustration as she lifted her head and flung the keyboard to the behind her towards the door. Just then, the same library door opened.

"Twilight, I'm back!" Spike announced happily.

Twilight Vs. Kindle

"Check, check, aaaand...check," Twilight spoke as she checked the very last item off of her immensely long checklist. She looked up to get one last long look at the shelves of Ponyville's library. A soft breeze blew in through the window.

Rustle...rustle...

A Tumbleweed appeared out of nowhere and bounced lightly across the library floor, rustling in wind.

The soft clopping of Twilight's hooves could be heard on the hardwood floor. She checked to make sure everything was gone, under every nook and cranny of the library. After she was sure everything was clear, she proudly stood up.

"Well...That's the last of the books sold!" she announced happily.

Indeed, every single book was gone. The shelves lay completely baron except for a few cobwebs that had developed over in the corners. Twilight happily trotted over to the hardwood table and levitated her new grey device up to her eye level. She powered and unlocked the device with ease and beamed a smile towards the screen, eyes becoming starry.

"This is so much easier to use then those darn Apple devices. It's designed for easier use and the instruction manual makes so much more sense!" The young mare winced from the painful memory of having to read the horrid iPod manual that Vinyl Scratch had wrote and had published. Even with Octavia's help, they were the least descriptive and worst instructions ever.

Twilight narrowed her eyes.

"Hmph! Press down firmly with your hooooof," she drawled in a horrendous Octavia impersonation, hoof on her chest and eyes lazy as if she was the prime example of pompousness.

"Yeah, firmly my flank! Next time, they need to include just how much pressure one of those things can take before cracking like Rarity under the stress of finishing a dress for Princess Celestia," Twilight spoke with annoyance in her voice. They very rarely spoke of that incident anymore. Rarity was so stressed out that a cab driver cut her off on the way back to the boutique.

After that, the Element of Generosity took out ten windows, five doors, four apple trees, three taxis, and one fire hydrant. She actually ran all the way to Sweet Apple Acres, broke the trees in half like they were toothpicks, and came all the way back to break the rest of the Ponyville's public property. Luckily, she didn't get arrested.

Twilight smiled sheepishly.

"Thank goodness I'm friends with her," she spoke.

Twilight once again looked to the front screen of her Kindle. It was completely blank besides the few icons up on the top screen of the device, indicating the display.

"The best feature about this, though..." Twilight said as she gently pressed down on the icon to go to the Kindle's settings. "Is that with this new Kindle, I don't need the actual books! I just download all the books from the Canternet!" she announced proudly while lightly lifting her hoof up off the floor in a petite manner. She looked under network settings with a smile.

"Now what should I download fir-"

Twilight's eyes widened in horror as she read the screen. She recognized the bold, black words as the most terrifying thing she ever read in her life.

CanterKindle
Wireless
Networks:

G4 Network:
UNAVAILABLE

Her magic faltered and she dropped the kindle to the ground with a light thud. Twilight felt tears begin to form on the edge of her eyes.

"N-no books?..." Twilight spoke with utter sorrow. She closed her mouth and her bottom lip quivered as she began to cry, tears streaming down her cheeks and wetting her soft, purple fur.

The library door slowly cracked open.

"Twilight? Are you there?" her number one assistant asked from the door. He was afraid to step inside without a helmet.

"Yes..." Twilight spoke weakly through soft sobs.

Spike's eyebrows shot up, and he quickly opened the door. He found his best friend and the mare he considered a loving sister sitting on the ground, softly crying.

"Twilight, what's wro-" Spike didn't finish as he saw the library shelves completely empty and a new Kindle lying on the floor.

"Twilight, don't tell me..." the purple drake spoke.

Twilight rubbed her drippy nose with a hoof, before crying out,

"I forgot to get Wuh-huh-hiiiireless fiiiirst!" she cried like a new-born foal.

Spike ran towards her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

"It's gunna be alright, I promise. We can fix this," the dragon spoke as he cradled his sister. Twilight looked down at Spike and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"I...*sniff*...can't believe I did something...*sniff*...did something like this without thinking it through. I was just so excited that something finally worked for me, you know?!" she yelled out. Spike put his claw to his face and shook his head.

"I understand Twilight. You just got overly excited," Spike removed his claw from his face and began to pat Twilight's back. Twilight was no longer crying and instead she was tapping her hooves on the ground, trying to figure out what to do about the situation she was in.

"Who in Equestria did you give all these books to Twilight?" Spike asked.

"That's the thing," Twilight began to confess. "I didn't give them away. I sold them. How will I get them back so I can read them? I don't know..." Twilight bit her bottom lip. "I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't read books for days while waiting for a Wireless connection to be installed here."

Spike lifted his eyebrow.

"You...can read them?..." Spike couldn't believe how dense a certain lavender unicorn was being today. "Did you forget what we live in?" the purple drake asked.

Twilight's eyes went as wide as saucers and her jaw dropped.

"A...public...li-library..." she spoke at barely a whisper.

"ExaAAAACTLY!" Spike screamed as Twilight levitated him with her magic and bust through the library door, making it fling backwards against the hinges and swing in the wind as she galloped down through Ponyville, barreling through and knocking innocent ponies like they were bowling pins.

High in the sky, a large house made from clouds seemed to be pushed downward a bit from excess weight. Inside the house, a certain rainbow maned pegasus was in her room with nearly six hundred books all scattered in piles on the floor. She lay in her large, comfy bed with her bottom hooves crossed and grabbing several books off of the pile next to her. She brought the front of the book up to her face and began to read it out loud, slowly.

"Experiments...With Crossbreeding Pegasi...and Unicorn...Magic," she finished.

Rainbow Dash gave a deadpanned look, before tossing the book aside with little regard into another pile to the left of her large cloud bed.

"Pfffft. Laaaaame. Man, I figured Twilight would have had some cool books. Where's the Daring Doo books?!" she yelled before jumping into the large stack of books that lay beside her. After digging for a few seconds, her eyes widened and she developed a smile as she saw what she was looking for. Grabbing the book and flying out of the huge, hardback pile, she floated in the air with the book in her hooves, giving the title a read.

"Daring Doo...and the Kingdom of the...Crystal Skull?" she asked no one in particular. The cyan mare gave an excited smile.

"Sounds...AWESOME!"

::Thirty Minutes Later...::

Twilight ran as fast as she could with Spike on her back until she stopped at her destination.

"Rainbow Dash! I need-" Twilight spoke but didn't finish, as something caught her eye. A green object plummeting down towards the ground.

"Is that..." Twilight spoke curiously.

Spike began to tremble.

"NononononoNONONONONO!"

Smack!

"AAARGGGHH! Not again!" screamed Spike as he sat on the floor, holding his hands to his forehead. After being knocked off her back, Twilight quickly bent down to check Spike.

"Spike?! Answer me! Don't you quit on me now, Spike!" screamed the frantic Twilight, who was smacking her hoof n Spike's cheek while watching his eyes goofily rotate in opposite directions. All of a sudden, Twilight heard a scream coming from the sky that sounded very similar to the voice of the Element of Loyalty.

"A REFRIGERATOR?! ARE YOU BUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

Twilight Vs. Laptop

The sun shone brightly in Ponyville Park. It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon, and there were plenty of ponies laughing, conversing, and having picnics while enjoying the warmth of the giant celestial orb that rotated in the sky. In the middle of the park, Twilight sat down in the grass and looked up at the sky with a smile. She saw the clouds drift by ever-so slowly through the sea of blue that was the sky. She saw the occasional pegasus fly happily in her field of vision and across the perfect summer sky.

"Ahhh," she spoke contently whilst basking in the warmth of a pleasant day. She levitated her bag she carried with her to the ground and sat down in the soft grass. The light chatter of ponies and the laughter of little colts and fillies could be heard. "It's so peaceful out he-"

BAM!

Twilight was cut off as somepony slammed into her side, making her tumble along the ground.

"Give it back Sweetie Belle!"

Twilight was knocked over by a little white filly who had an orange hoofball in her mouth, before being promptly trampled by Scootaloo.

"Agghh!" Twilight screamed as she was pummeled into the grass by the little pegasus.

Sweetie Belle looked back at her pursuer, who was struggling to keep up with her speed when she didn't have her scooter.

"If's mun, 'nd ooh cn't h've't!" Sweetie Belle yelled through the hoofball she had her teeth sunken into.

"The hay ever, I can't have it!" Scootaloo yelled in protest as she chased the little filly until they were out of sight. Twilight had her eyes on them and her hoof to her head, gently rubbing the soft spot right underneath her horn. It had a perfect imprint of Scootaloo's hoof. She looked to where they left with a scowl, before letting out a long sigh.

"Fillies will be fillies," she said with a soft giggle. She only wished that they didn't need to trample her in the process. Of course, back when Twilight was a filly, nopony even survived the raid of the legendary Fort Book. There were many casualties, her brother being one of them. He still had the scars on the back of his head to prove it.

Twilight's eyes widened.

"Ohmygosh, I forgot!" she jumped up from laying down in the grass to check where she left her bag. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw that it wasn't damaged.

"Oh thank Celestia..." Twilight exclaimed as she opened the cloth flap and levitated a pink laptop out of the bag. "It would have been really bad if this thing was broken. It was six hundred bits, for cryin' out loud!" Twilight said. "I can't believe how much they charged me. Who pays that much for a dumb laptop? Twilight Sparkle, that's who!" she yelled, annoyed at herself for being such a horrible spender. Twilight then realized that several ponies had decided to stop their conversations and look at her, who stood screaming at herself like a madmare.

"Hehe. Maybe I should keep my voice down," she told herself. She then gently opened her laptop and placed it down on the ground. She pressed the power button down with her magic, being careful as not to be too rough and put too much strain on the device itself. As the boot logo came up, which took on the form of a multi colored window, Twilight looked around herself. She could see Pinkie talking to a lime green earth pony and a grey pegasus mare to her right. Twilight quirked an eyebrow as she watched her friend in the distance. For some reason, she had a yellow balloon tied around her fluffy pink tail.

Four chimes came from her laptop, indicating that it had booted and settled on the log in screen. Twilight smiled happily down at her laptop and began to punch in her password with magic, which happened to be her nickname for herself.

"Celestia...2!" she said happily as she punched in her password and hit the enter key.

It took a while for her desktop to load, but her icons appeared right away. She only had five of them, and one was her recycle bin. She then opened the front zipper to her black bag and fished through the pocket with her magic. Twilight squinted one eye while puckering her lips in concentration.

"Aww, come on! I know I put it in here. Where in the hay did....Ahh, there it is!" Twilight spoke as she felt her magic grasp onto a plastic device which she recognized immediately. She took the device out of her bag and held down the tiny power button on the back. As soon as the power turned on, Twilight smiled from ear to ear and clopped her hooves together happily.

"Yay!" she spoke softly in a way that would have made the Element of Kindness proud. "Now, with the Cradlepoint CTR35, I can have web wherever I go. It's so useful having a hotspot," Twilight said as she placed the hotspot device down next to her laptop.

"Wait a sec," Twilight spoke. "Why did I say that like I was announcing a commercial?"

"I dunno," her laptop answered her through its speakers.

"Yeah, weird..." Twilight said. She then gave a sheepish smile. "I hope I'm not going crazy. Hehe," she spoke to the inanimate pink PC. Twilight touched the mouse pointer with her magic gently and scrolled across her taskbar to check if the hotspot's network connection was available. When she found the network connection provided by the Cradlepoint, she squee'd with delight before clicking on the network. She then clicked connect and went over to the Canternet Explorer icon on her taskbar, opening a new window. Luckily, she had learned already to connect to her email by this point and found it was much easier to type and email with her magic. After then clicking on compose a new message, she began to type.

'Dear Princess Celestia,' she thought to herself as she began typing up the email to her mentor. 'Recently I have been battling something new, only to discover I keep failing when I try.'

Twilight typed the message while giving an understanding yet disappointed expression to the ground, as if she was beginning to learn a valuable life lesson from her experiences.

'But I realized that falling at the first fence is something that happens in all walks of life! And what defines a pony is her ability to push herself to her hooves and try again.' she thought. Twilight chuckled to herself before continuing her typing. 'This Email is proof of that! And I look forward to trying my hoof at technology, regardless of how first impressions go!'

Twilight closed her eyes as she typed.

'Being unsuccessful is not failure, it is a learning opportunity! Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.' she finished happily.

Twilight opened her eyes and looked at her pink laptop.

Twilight stared at the screen without emotion.

Spike sat, napping under a tree peacefully at Sweet Apple Acres. He woke up slightly and stretched his little limbs out while yawning.

"Ahhh, this is the l-"

"WHYYYYY?!?!?!" came a voice from Ponyville that nearly shook the entire ground with tremendous force. Spike shot up, heart racing and completely oblivious to the apple that had been shaken loose.

"Was that Twili-"

PLOP!

Spike quickly fell back to sleep after receiving a bump on his head from a large Red Delicious.

Twilight Vs. The Anemometer

She looked up at the large billboard with a nervous glance.

"I REALLY hope this works this time..." Twilight spoke.

The object she was instructed to buy for Rainbow Dash sat on the library floor. It was an oversized anemometer. It had four metal blades and rotated in a clockwise motion. The fan-like action was used to judge the pressure of wind and the speed of objects that caused said wind, making it very useful as a common weather station instrument. This particular model was used to determine the wing power on various pegasi throughout Ponyville. Twilight had found the instructions to the anemometer and superimposed them onto a large billboard in her living room.

"Okay, better run over these one more time," she told herself to rebuild some of the confidence she had earlier this morning, when she actually bought the machine. She started at the top of the billboard and began to read,

"The Anemometer, version number forty-nine thousand, five-hundred and eighty three."

Her eyes drifted down past the large inked diagram of the device and to the smaller, printed paragraph below it.

"The other forms of mechanical velocity anemometer may be described as belonging to the windmill type or propeller anemometer. In the Robinson anemometer the axis of rotation is vertical, but with this sub-division oh my gosh, this is so boring even I'm about to fall asleep," Twilight drawled out. She shook her head whilst having her flank planted firmly on the library floor, to try and wake herself up. She turned towards the device on the ground and hardened her stare at the device.

"Let's get something straight right now. I don't care if you are an inanimate object; I will buck you into next week if you decide to act up on me like all my other stuff did. Understood?!" she asked the fan a little louder than necessary. At her statement, the blades of the fan lightly turned and gave a quiet squeaking sound.

Her eye twitched.

"I'm threatening an inanimate object..." she spoke.

'Does that make me craaaaazaaaaay? Does that make me craaaaazaaay?' the classic Sapphire Shores song rang in Twilight's head.

She giggled.

"I'm not crazy. I'm just determined! Yep...just determined...not crazy whatsoever," she spoke before smiling ear to ear.

She sat comfortably in front of the fan and sighed.

"You can do this, Twilight. You can reverse gravity and teleport for pony's sake! You can handle a little fan," Twilight assured herself. "Now, I need to concentrate."

She gripped the pressure knobs lightly with a levitation spell and adjusted them to as low as they could possibly go.

"Find the right adjustment to make," she said while concentrating all her effort into making sure things would go smoothly with the brand new anemometer. A twist here and a pull there, and the knobs were adjusted for the lightest breeze possible. Twilight game herself a satisfied smile.

"See? Nothing to worry about at all!" she spoke happily. Twilight leaned her head down slightly, that way her horn was mere inches away from the fan. "Now, to conjure a gentle breeze..."

Her horn began to glow a faint violet aura and push forth the tiniest gust of wind, seeming to manifest itself from the very depths of the still air around Twilight. She focused her spell and swirled the gust into a steady stream, before pointing it towards the fan. The front of her mane began to blow slightly as the blades of the fan turned clockwise. The dial began to move upward slowly. After only a brief moment, the fan was in full rotation and blowing wind forwards, pushing Twilight's mane backwards.

"Wait..." Twilight spoke, noticing something about the fan was slightly off.

Even though the fan was in full rotation and moving pretty fast, the fan itself was wobbling. Twilight squinted to look inside of the fan that was just about as tall as her, hoping she would find what was wrong with it. Her large, purple eyes saw one band moving faster than the other on left side of the blades.

'One of the cogs is moving too fast!' she thought to herself.

She tempered her spell, condensing it slowly to be tighter on the left side of the breeze and to even the cogs of the device out.

'C'mon Twi...You can fix it.' she encouraged herself to the best of her abilities, while remaining focused.

The fan began to rumble even more than it was before. Twilight still didn't give up and continued to conjure with fierce determination.

"Just...got to...focus..."

After a while, the spell built and got faster and faster during her attempt to balance both sides.

Whoooosh, Crack!

Twilight's eyes shot open and she let go of her spell as she looked towards her door with a fearful expression.

She had made the gust of wind too powerful and the anemometer took off, smashing through the library door and shooting across the streets of Ponyville like a bat out of Tartarus.

Twilight pushed her bottom lip out and poked at the library floor with her hoof. She let out a long a lengthy sigh before speaking,

"Back to the drawing board..."

Miles away, a white alicorn watched her through a telescope and laughed uncontrollably for quite a while, before taking a bite out of a slice of royal chocolate cake that was decadent enough for a Princess.

"Man, I am really glad that Redheart is allowing me to have all the X-Rays for free. I don't think we could afford all the medical bills," the purple drake spoke to himself with exasperation. Spike had it rough these past few weeks with his sister repeatedly failing at every single new thing she tried.

Spike's eyebrows shot up at hearing a whistling noise through the air. By now, his instincts told him to duck.

Which is exactly what he did.

Spike ducked to the ground and opened his eyes to look around. He caught a glance of something in the distance flying across the ground. It got closer and closer with every passing moment.

Spike's body began to tremble.

"Oh n-"

POW!

"Ow!" Spike wailed and fell back on the ground when the anemometer slammed into his nose. He started to see stars above his head.

"My face...I can't even feel my face..."

"Dammit, Twilight..."