This city was large and incredibly pony friendly.

Sadly, I was a human, not a pony.

The roads were clean, sure, but that didn't change the fact that it was still dirt. Stones sometimes protruded out the floor, sticks that fall from nearby foliage, small animal droppings find their way in front of me and sometimes under the soles of my feet. All things said, my walking appendages hurt like hell a few minutes into walking.

The same was to be said about the wilderness, but there's grass that works a bit like a cushions and the dirt is soft and maleable, not hard and compacted into a road like this.

As I walked I found there were fewer and fewer ponies trotting around, eventually there wasn't even a single one roaming the streets.

“That's… odd?” I thought aloud, scratching the back of my head as I stared out at empty road.

Where did they go?

*KA-CHINK KA-CHINK KA-CHINK KA-CHINK KA-CHINK*

My ears were attracted to the strange sound of metal against metal behind me, as I turned my head, a look of confusion plastered across my face.

In front of my eyes was a group of 12 ponies, each of varying race and colour's, all wearing sets of golden armour.

A selection of gold weapons accompanied them, in mouth, hooves or simply just floating nearby…

I quickly raise my hands in surrender.

Yeah, I'm not fighting.

I may have a had a MASSIVE Stat Boost, but I'm not some kind of physical god, nor do I even know the extent to how much stronger I got in reality, or if I'm up to the task of fighting…

Especially When I'm outnumbered, only barely trained and the enemy is armed with both armour and weapons. Not to mention the mobility advantage of wings and the fact there's a Unicorn among them, meaning magic.

As well as that, their formation leads me to believe they're from military origin, or perhaps a police force, maybe both.

All in all, this fight is unwinnable at the moment.

“I surrender!” I shout out, in case the raising of arms has a different interpretation in this world, which considering the fact its's filled with quadrapeds, it probably does.

I was met with looks of confusion and questioning.

Though it seemed less questioning me and more questioning of themselves.

One of the seemingly more professional ponies slowly walked forward to meet me, a soft chocolate brown Unicorn mare of a recognizabley older age with small thin grays in her pink mane. If I were to equate her age to humans, she looked to be in her early fourties.

”We had reports of a bipedal monster within town,” Her voice solidified her perceived age, having a sort of motherly twinge, being light yet deep and smooth, ”But considering how you seem to be quite… Nonviolent, I assume that was a mistake…”

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, as the gold tipped spear beside her floated down, the armored ponies behind her doing the same with theirs.

“So… am I free to go?” I question slightly, lowering my arms and glancing back at her spear every now and then. Not out of fear mind you, more out of curiosity.

Gold is a shiny metal, one that symbolizes wealth and power, yet as an armour set, gold is much too malleable and soft to be efficient and too heavy to even be usable. Which means either this isn't gold, it's an alloy, or it's gold plated.

Now that I look at it, all these weapons are quite short, the spear seems to be the same length as her torso… I see, there isn't a need for that much of a handle because the range advantage of the spear isn't dependent on it! Because they can magically float them closer and farther, it's better to reduce the weight by removing some of the handle, yet still keep some to block or incapacitate someone non-lethally, and to counter balance the spearhead…

Interesting!

”You are, as long as you can provide us with proof of citizenship or a visa,” Ew, Bureaucracy.

Also FUCK! I don't got shit!

“I- uh, I don't have any…” The pony raises her brows and stares at me with her milky blue eyes.

”I’m afraid in that case we're going to need you to come with us,” Ah shit am I getting deported? Kidding, would be glad if they did though, assuming they actually send me back to my world and don't just lock me in jail for the rest of my life. As i under the fact that I may just be doomed to a cell she sighs.

“Er, I'm not in trouble am I?” Her eyes meet mine once again as she smiles softly.

”No, we just need to get you to the nearest town hall so we can get you visa,” She said, waving her hoof out at the notion of trouble as she slides the spear onto a holster by her side.

“Is it that easy to get visa?” I ask, as the Unicorn begins to trot forwards and I follow her, the rest of the armored ponies doing the same with their weapons away.

As I look, the rest of the ponies seem to also be females, though a lot younger than this one. Maybe she’s training them?

”Well there are a few tests you have to go through firstly, but other than them, I’d consider it quite easy,” She says, before adding on, ”As long as you aren't a criminal, that is.”

I sigh a bit in relief, taking the opportunity to perhaps learn a bit more.

“Miss, if you don't mind me asking, what do those tests include?” I ask as she chuckles a bit to herself.

”Oh there's nothing much, just a Thaumaturgical Examination, Species Listing and Equestrian Habitation Questionnaire,” She says as she continues to try and keep her stride with mine, which was suitably a little slower than hers, ”The EHQ is just a simple form you fill out to see if are any special needs that we have to adhere to or know about, but it's quite simple.”

It wasn't all that long till we arrived at the town hall.

”There aren't many people who register in a relatively small town like Ponyville so it'll only be a short wait as we get everything ready,” She says with a smile, turning to the other ponies beside her, ”You can continue your patrols independently.”

The ponies did a quick salute and left as we entered the town hall. Inside was a small reception area, a stallion wearing a dark green tie around his neck, a lighter shade of the same colour coat and a mane of seaweed green.

I was quiet as the two ponies began talking, as I made my way to a nearby waiting chair. I kinda felt like a kid at a doctors appointment, just not knowing what the fuck was going on and simply just vibing in my own world.

The police pony and the secretary had nodded to each other, before the police pony turned and nodded at me as well. I nod back and she trots over to me.

”If you could just follow me sir,” I pick myself up and just follow her into a rather solitary room with a scroll in the centre of a table, a chair on each side.

It looked a bit like an interrogation room.

I take a seat as the police pony does the same.

“Ah, I don't think I've gotten your name yet, Ma'am,” I say as she takes off the helmet, revealing chocolate eyes and little custard yellow highlights in her hair. Her mane was quite short, styled into what I can only describe as a bob-cut with texture, a small part on the right side with a few strands of hair standing up at the start of the parting like an ahoge.

”Strawberry, Strawberry Sundae. And you?” She replies. Now that I could see more of her face, she looks younger?

No, it's like seeing a well aged person, someone you know is quite old but still seems to look a few decades younger. Hard to explain but you know what I mean, I think.

What was most surprising to me were the fact she had freckles spotting her face, somehow. It was like spots of a light orange against her brown coat.

“Victor, Victor De La Cruz” I reply and she raises an eyebrow inquisitively.

”Sponyish?” Spony? Is that supposed to be this world’s Spain? That's a pretty lazy name… well I get it, Ponyville, Spony, Equestria. All of them have Equine themes, so it makes sense it would keep the same motif throughout.

“Mexican, actually,” She frowns a bit before sighing and picking up the paper in front of her.

”Well, Victor De La Cruz,” She says my full government name for some reason, weird… ”May you please place your paw… claws? On the circle for me?”

“Hand, and just Victor is fine” I say, following her order and putting my hand on the scroll, more specifically on the circle in the bottom right of it.

She does the same on the one on the top left, the circle perfectly encompassing her hoof, before she closed her eyes and I felt the paper heat up a bit.

She furrows her brows even further in concentration before opening her eyes and reading the parchment with a confused expression.

”Say, Victor, do you mind pricking your finger with this and trying again?” She pulls out a small needle and I nod. I contemplated using Pragmatism but decided against it, before I take my right hand and prick my index finger, placing it on the circle again.

The paper heats up even more and Sundae seemed a bit more strained than last time, a drop of sweat running down her forehead.

Before she stops and smoke starts coming out of her horn.

She waves away the smoke with her hoof and looks through the parchment scroll. A confused expression on her face.

“If you don't mind me asking, what are you trying to do?” I say as she keeps looking over at the scroll’s contents.

”This test was supposed to list your criminal record using your thaumaturgical system…" She said, removing her hoof and looking to see if there was any damage to the scroll that would keep it from working, ”But for some reason it refuses to do so… I initially thought it was due to low mana, which is quite common in non-harmonic races, which is why I had asked for some blood but…”

“Oh that makes sense. It doesn't work because I don't have a Thaumaturgical System,” She looked at me like I said I didn't have a heart, utterly baffled.

”Now is not the time for jokes, the inability to provide working equipment for a visa is a major blunder and could possibly result in a huge fine towards the ones responsible,” I simply sigh and reiterate.

“I'm not joking, I don't have a Thaumaturgical System and am unable to use magic of any kind because of it. You can as many tests as you want, it just won't work…” She seemed absolutely gobsmacked, as if she'd just been hit across the head with a squirrel.

”If that's the case, then…” She falters for a moment, before sighing, ”I apologize, Victor, this is the first time something like this has happened, I'm not quite sure what to do…”

“Oh no it's fine, Miss Sundae, How about we just move on?” I tried to change the topic quickly, if beings in this world NEED a thaumaturgical system to survive, and I had none, I would instantly become one of the most interesting multi cellular organism on the planet, and the prime target to a shit ton of dissection. I mean I would do the same if I found a mammal that had evolved without a heart, no matter if it was sentient or not.

Hmm? Why would I consider sentience? Weird…

Whatever.

”Well… if it can't be helped, I'll report this to my superiors and just have you continue. Since it isn't a fault of your own, I'll use my own authority to issue a temporary visa,” She concluded before continuing, ”I apologize for the inconvenience”

“Oh no, it's fine,” I reassure her as she picks up a piece of modern paper from a table drawer, before handing it to me. The letters were… wait a second? Accents? It was unrecognisable of course, but the accents I could see lined up with my native tongue, Spanish, “I apologise for the inconvenience, but I can't read this…”

”Are you sure? I swear i picked out the Sponish texts…” She says, magically floating the paper back to her and reading through it a bit, more just the text at the top right that was written in regular Ponish.

“Oh, no I can’t read Sponish, nor Ponish. I know how to read and write. It's just that my… Dialect, is quite rare so I doubt you have it” She frowned but simply seemed to accept it. My hands were laying on the paper, and it seemed quite warm…

”I see… that will prove rather difficult… you do seem to be able to speak Ponish quite fluently, so why don't I read out and write for you?” I nod at her proposition as she floats the form to herself and begins to float a quill to herself and writes down some things. That being what I assume to be my name.

”Question One: What is Your Species?” She reads it out in a clear voice as I respond.

“Human, Scientific genus and species are Homo and Sapien” I say as she writes it down, she seems to be quite slow, considering how to write it a bit.

”I must admit, I've never heard of such a species before… Second Question: What is Your Cutie Mark… We can skip this one since you're a non-pony,” She says, before I stop her.

“Cutie Mark?” I ask and she looks at me weird for the umpteenth time.

”A kind of magical mark on a Pony's rear that displays and amplifies their talents. Third Question: What is Your Occupation?” Shes’s avoiding the question? No it doesn't seem that way, it's more like she can't provide a better explanation. That does explain the markings on everybody's Flanks… Everypony?

Now, occupation… What is my occupation? Lumberjack? Inventor? Redneck Engineer? Programmer?

“Uh… Wandering Scholar might be the best description…” I say a bit more hesitantly than I would like to admit,

”Question Four: What is your Home Country?” She just seemed to gloss over it without much questioning… lucky me I guess.

“Los Angeles,” Now that I think about it, should I really be giving out honest answers? Well, it's not like me being from another world is a secret… Wait doesn't this contradict my changing the subject about my Thaumaturgical System? Or lack thereof? Home Country? Ah shit I thought she said home county!

Whatever, I'm in too deep to back out now, for both the country and my honesty… I truly am an idiot though….

The questions continued for the entirety of an hour and a half,

”Last one, Question Twenty Five: Age?” Why is this the last question? Whatever. How old am I again…? This body, from what I can tell is in its late teens to very early adult stage, which is only a few years younger than my original, so I'll just go with that… an estimate would be maybe around-

“Seventeen Years Old,” She looks at me with a massive frown, before leaving it alone for the bazillionth time.

”Alright, all done, now we just need a blood sample and you’ll have your temporary visa,” She said with a smile, before asking, ”Where is your current place of residency?”

“Ah, just follow the river leading from Ponyville into the Everfree Forest until you find a cabin,” I don't have a proper address… also shouldn't this have been on the EHQ? Why didn't they ask that as a question? “Am I free to leave?”

Sundae nods her head and I'm allowed to leave the interrogation room. I ended up burning a whole lot of daylight, so if I start making my way home now, I'll be able to reach just before nightfall. Perfect!

I then begin my arduous trek towards my home.

{DAY 31}

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“Ugh… five more minutes…” I was gently jolted awake by the sounds of knocking at my door… at first it was quiet, and I had slowly lifted back to sleep because it was so quiet, but at the precipice of slumber-

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I fell off the indoor retted-vine hammock I had been calling a bed and faceplanted straight into the floor with a deafening thud.

With half awake eyes, I picked myself up and walked towards the door of my home, taking off the large stick I had been using as a lock and opening it up.

In front of me stood a relatively tall unicorn mare with a cold purple coat and fiery red highlighted-vanilla yellow mane, wearing a flamboyant yet practical and non frilly dress, a scroll opened out in front of her as she coughs into her hoof.

“No solicitors,” I say, slamming the door closed, before she put her hoof out in front of the door to keep it open.

”AHEM!” She coughs rather loudly into her hoof yet again, a tick mark on her forehead showcasing her apparent rage from my actions, before she opens up the scroll rolled up by her side and begins reading, ”By the order of the great Diarch of Equestria and holder of the Crown, Princess Celestia, You, Victor De La Cruz the Wandering Human Scholar, are to be given a formal summoning to meet her majesty at approximately 5 p.m today. All arrangements have been already created and managed under her majesty’s orders.”

I stood there absolutely dumbstruck. What the fuck was she talking about? Whatever, I'll just politely refuse and-

”Refusal of this offer will be seen as an offense to the nation and your request for a Visa will be permanently suspended,” She must've realised what I was thinking from my face as she quickly added that on at the end, a smug smile on her face.

…

“De toda la gente en el mundo, ¿por qué yo?”

Author's Note

SORRY FOR NO UPDATES LAST WEEK!!!

I was busy with irl stuff and hyper burnt out from writing, I managed to finish the chap but wasn't able to continue it so I just started again and went into a different direction entirely

¡Adiós mis hermosos fans! ¡Nos vemos la próxima semana!

(Also I lied the chapter is clickbait)