Another monday

by Momoi Taro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Other, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 2287

Get up, catch the train, clock in, work your ass off... but why is everyone a horse?

Living means spending. Spending means having money. Having money means working. And so we come to the biggest issue your average Jou has to face in their life. Working in retail.

It's another Monday, the weekend flew past Andy as fast as ever, time to get his butt back into his work uniform. His routine? Repetative. His salary? Minimal. His dreams? A joke. People around him? Horses.
Now that's new... whatever, the work won't work itself.

Featured from 08/12 to 12/12 of 2024!
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Published 2024-12-08 10:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-12-08 10:00:01 UTC

Everything as per usual

The alarm began its ruthless ringing at 7 in the morning, down to the milliseconds. His hangover was small thanks to yesterday's drinking session being fortunately composed of cheap beverages. With a muffled groan, he slammed his fist down onto the innocent device, bringing it down to the floor and ending its cacophony once and for all. It was odd how today's alarm was ringing since normally it would beep. Meh, the damn thing must've gotten some stupid update overnight and got its settings messed up.

With his arm back by his side, Andy turned his body by 90 degrees and hung his legs off of the bed's edge. After a slow rise, he sat there and pondered... why were his feet not touching the ground? Not only that, he couldn't open his fist either. He didn't get that slammed yesterday, did he? Surely one six-pack couldn't damage his nerves, could it? No, that was ridiculous, his limbs must simply still be asleep. Just as lazy as their owner, he thought.

He crawled out of bed and stood on all fours, which was somehow more comfortable than he remembered from childhood. It was so long since he played pretend as a 9-year-old. He made his way though the bathroom, not minding his new way of moving around. The water felt lukewarm just like most of his mornings. It was fitting. Some shampoo, one brushing of his teeth, a quick towel to his behind and he was off towards the kitchen.

The floor creaked under him as he walked. Truth be told, he didn't recall living in this wooden cabin. It was strange, had more space, felt more alive and... Actually, it was nice, so let's not look a given horse in the mouth. Another bonus was somehow having stocked up cabinets of mostly vegan-friendly products. Well, he didn't feel very carnivorous today either way...

His hooves began rhythmicly hitting the cobblestone path that was leading him to the station, his only method of getting to work ever since he failed his driving exam for the 11th time. He never had good enough reaction time for something so complicated. It was also a bit scary to drive around a big metal can that could kill both him and a random person at a moment's notice. He preferred public transport (even if it was due to Stockholm at that point).

Ah, right. He did have hooves now, eh? Still on all fours, with a little bit of his muzzle intruding his field of vision just like his nose previously would. He thought of the possibility of it all being some sort of hallucination due to an overdose, a severe mental breakdown or even a vivid and lucid dream from being in a coma. Did any of it matter though? He didn't think so and neither did any other pony he passed by on his way.

He seated himself in one of the carts at the back. The seats were large and comfy, perfect for his supposed new body. Just as he stripped out of his saddlebags, an elderly pony wearing a blue and white vest came up to him, a small stapler-like device in his hoof. The stallion cleared his throat, readjusted his little pocket watch and smiled warmly.

"Ticket, my good stallion?" He questioned Andy.

Opening his right bag, Andy pulled out a fancy ticketed coated in silver, a far-off date engraved on the bottom.

"Oh, the yearly pass? Alright!" The inspector hid his contraption, patting his pocket twice, "Say, I never saw your face around here. Not that it's odd but our town rarely gets new resident so just wondering if..."

"Guess so" came Andy's quiet reply, "I'll figure it all out later, on the weekend perhaps if the time allows it".

"You younglings and your drive to productivity, hohoho!" Laughed the elderly stallion, "Well then, off I go".

Watching the inspector walk off freed Andy off of the only thing he needed to do on the train. Resting his head on the railing behind him, he cut himself a quick nap for the rest of the road.

The streets of Manehattan were busier than usual. Okay, to be perfectly fair, he really didn't know if they were, since firstly, he never been to Manehattan, and secondly, he called it Manehattan because that's what the station said. He could've sworn it was Manhattan, but considering all the equines surrounding him, the puny made sense.

Normally, Andy lived in Europe, so it didn't make sense why he was suddenly in an alternate version of what he assumed was US but hey, perhaps the wages were better? With a slightly more optimistic tone, he bumped into a pony on the sidewalk to even out his happiness (not that there was much to begin with).

"Hey, watch it you dummy!" The mare snared at him, irritated.

Every possible comeback that Andy had ready just for a situation like that died in his throat, obliterated by just how docile her insult was. Dummy? That was surprisingly childish in a sense that it sounds like the biggest insult a 4-year-old could come up with.

"What, cat got your tongue? What are you staring at?"

"My bad...? Difficult morning..." Andy replied, sounding confused at just how nonthreatening she sounded.

"Is that so? Ugh, just... Move it and let's forget about it..." the mare groaned under her breath. She passed him but shouted just before disappearing behind a corner, "And get some rest!".

Utterly bewildered, Andy resumed his trot and reached the front of both his perpetrator and caregiver... Your average retail store, OnHoof.
...
Okay, that name was plain awful. Not that he was about to voice his complaints, the original store's name made him dislike ladybugs and, according to psychology, even something as small as a name change can break your negative routine. He stepped through the not-so-automatic doors and quickened his pace towards the backrooms.

"Oh, there's some additional help!" A mare dressed in corporate attire turned her full attention to him, "Glad to have you aboard, you'll be of great help to Morning Shift over there".

Andy looked at the other pony the mare was pointing at and nodded, to which the presumed 'Morning Shift' returned the gesture.

"Sorry, what's your name again?" The manager mare intrigued with a sheepish smile.

The higher-ups never cared for their names, he thought. Readjusting the name tag on his uniform, he read what it said out loud, "Early Eye apparently, ma'am"

"Apparently?" She questioned.

Andy, or Early Eye as he was called in the world, just shrugged.

"Okaaaay... Anyways, I'm having a meeting in 10 minutes so I'll leave you to it." she gave them both a 'good luck out there' smile and left.

With that, Andy or whatever he was called, was left with Morning Shift to ponder who would be the first to manage this jungle composed of cheap bread, moldy cheese, spoiled milk and bootleg toys.

And the oddities kept pilling on for Andy.

Starting from the most easy to get, their naming convention. Back on Earth, most names, while sounding nothing like something you would use in a sentence, still held meanings. Here though, their names were more often than not just two randomly picked nouns that somehow dictated their course of living. For example, Morning Shift had apparently always worked during the early morning, never even considering taking on any task during the later hours.

As for Andy himself, he was now named Early Eye. The 'Early' part he thought was a cruel twist of irony, laughing at his "choice" of career. He was never a gifted scholar and actually prefered physical work but still, the joke wasn't that funny. Now the 'Eye' part however, he could not solve. There was nothing special about his eyes, he never had an eye for detail or shot some incredible goal during his primary school's P.E. lessons. After a while, Andy gave up trying to find a solution, thinking to himself that he had already wasted too much time on something that had no real correlation to his current puzzle.

Speaking of which, that was a whole new can of worms. He knew working in retail wasn't pleasant no matter which country you did it in, but his home, that piece of stinking backwater swamp of a country, was one of the worst offenders. It was almost like an untold tradition that, as a citizen, you had to keep all your frustration and problems to yourself and put on a brave front as to not be seen as weak to others. In reality, no one really scolded you for it, but equally no one wanted to show their soft side since everyone was being so tought. It was a endless and utterly miserable cycle. The result? When a person blew up, it was a damn nuke.

Here, in Equestria, as he learned from Morning Shift, ponies were utterly and helplessly positive even at their darkest hour. During his first hour restocking shelves, a customer bumped into him and got a nice cold shower of 3% milk. What did they do? They were mad, which was a reasonable reaction, but then they just... angrily apologized and used a nearby pack of tissues to wash it off, promising to add it to their cart at the end (which they did). Andy had worked in those godforsaken stores for half a decade and he had NEVER experienced anything remotely close to this.

He could go on about how many strange and seemingly weird behaviors these ponies were prone to but then again, he was only 10 minutes from ending his shift, so there was no point in clogging his mind. There was, however, a thing so bizarre that he couldn't wrap his head around it to this very moment.

Money. Or rather the lack of his previous funds. See, in this world, something like electricity wasn't invented yet or at least it didn't develop to the same level as it did on Earth. Every pony that bought something used actual gold coins to pay for it. Both these facts pointed to the conclusion that something like bank accounts did not exist here in the same way they did back home. And where were Andy's savings being stored? That's right, in this damn back account. Essentially, all his money poofed out of existence if it even existed here to begin with.

Was that a worrying thought? Absolutely. Did it cause him to nearly suffer a panic attack? Very likely. Did the solutions show itself a few minutes after? Strangely but fortunetly, yes.

Their manager, Ladder Star (these names will be the death of him), showed up on his break as soon as she heard that he has had a freak-out of sorts. After understanding the basis of it, that Andy was essentially without a bit to his name (this world's currency), she reassured him that they are paid daily for their work. If there was ever a moment where Andy could say he experienced a spiritual rebirth, then this was it.

Being paid daily instead of monthly seemed strange until he saw the amount he was given and calculated (based on the store's prices) how much he had on hand (or was it hoof now?). Basically, in this one 8-hour shift, he had earned more than a full damn week with extra hours taken into consideration back on Earth.

The the actual f-

The sun was shinning with its orange glow, moments from hiding behind the rocky hills in the distance. The passenger's voices filled the air of the cart Andy was stationed in. Why did he actually pick a cart with other creatures in it? Who could say, the day just made him do so without much thought. He was simply in a positive mood. The usual tiredness, the utter pessimism and a dire need for alcoholic drinks that he felt at the end of each and every were gone from his system, replaced by admiration for the world around him. Andy was, all things considered, content.

The train came to a stop, his hometown of Ponyville greeted him with its simplistic yet oddly charming looks. They kind of reminded him of what his country used to look like in the history books, during its early development stages. All that was missing was a giant wooden wall and a moat, he thought.

Opening the door, he was greeted with a comfy living room, a fireplace ready for some kindling and what was left of his morning cereal. He took off his uniform, put on some tea in a kettle (which he struggled with for 5 minutes) and plopped his rear on the sofa.

Today was a good day, he thought to himself with a smile making its way onto his muzzle. This whole thing may just be one heck of a dream, but even so, he didn't mind it. Some things here were different, most stayed the same, but at the end of it all, it all seemed just that much better. He forgot how it was to feel fulfilled from simply doing his job, from contributing to society. If this dream were to end how it began, with the ring of his alarm clock, then he just had to enjoy the last hours in this beautiful little dreamscape to the fullest.

Maybe, just maybe, for one day Andy could be happy with just living. Wouldn't that be a dream come true?

Author's Note

A piece to vent, complain and give myself a hope for the time being. :ajsleepy:
Hope you enjoyed :raritywink: