The Cat-astrophe
The Apex Predator
Load Full StoryIt was a bright day in Ponyville and the birds were chirping merrily. Most of them, at least; the bluejay in Fluttershy’s cottage was much less merry, considering he had nearly lost his wing a few minutes ago.
“There,” Fluttershy said, bandaging the wing. “You’ll have to stay here for a few weeks.”
“Is he gonna be alright?” Sweetie Belle asked. Her hooves still had traces of bluejay’s blood on them. “I ran here as soon as I could.”
“He’ll be fine, but it will take a while before he’ll be able to fly,” Fluttershy replied, throwing away the dirty gauze and needles. “Sweetie, may I ask you a question?”
“Yes?” Sweetie looked at her hoof, licked it, and winced.
“Over the last few weeks, you brought me several injured birds, two rabbits, fifteen mice, a hamster, a gopher, and a dead raccoon–”
“I didn’t know it was dead,” Sweetie Belle replied.
Fluttershy raised her eyebrows. “He was missing half of its head.”
Sweetie smiled sheepishly. “On a second thought, this should’ve been a hint.”
“Anyway…” Fluttershy carried the bluejay to another room, with a group of other injured birds chirping at each other. “Where do you find them?”
“Well…” Sweetie shrugged. “First I tried to heal them myself, but I must be doing something wrong. I tried to bandage a trout like you showed me, but…” Her ears drooped. “It died.”
“A trout?” Fluttershy asked. “Was it in the water?”
Sweetie groaned and slapped her forehead. “I knew I forgot something.”
“Still, this doesn’t answer my question,” Fluttershy. “Where do you find all those animals?”
“Oh, I don’t find them myself,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Opal finds them and brings them to me so I try to heal them.” She smirked. “She’s so clever.”
Fluttershy stopped in her tracks. “She… finds them?”
“Yes!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.
“Are you sure?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yeah,” Sweetie replied. “She once brought Dinky home. Poor girl, something scratched her really bad. I wanted to help her, but she told me to fu–”
“Yes, I get the idea,” Fluttershy said. “Does Rarity let Opal leave the house?”
“Usually only when I am there,” Sweetie Belle replied. “She said something about the two of us being too much for her head.”
“I’ll have to talk to her,” Fluttershy muttered.
“Rarity or Opal?”
“Both of them, I guess,” Fluttershy replied. “Tell Rarity not to let Opal walk around the city. Somepony may run her over with a cart.”
“Scootaloo already did!” Sweetie chuckled. “That’s why Opal only has five lives left. And Scootaloo fell on her head.”
“Opal’s or her own?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yes,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Nurse Redheart said that if she didn’t have a helmet, she’d be stupider than she already is.”
Fluttershy sighed. She was way too nice to ask Sweetie what Nurse Redheart thought of her or Apple Bloom, but she felt that every day her curiosity was closer to getting the better of her. Still, she resisted it this time.
Besides, it was curiosity that killed the cat. The whole nine times.
“You know that cats don’t really have nine lives, right?” Fluttershy looked at Sweetie Belle unsurely. “Wait, why only five lives?”
“Oh, nothing,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Cutie mark stuff, usually. And that one time with fireworks.” She smiled sheepishly. “My lawyer advised me to neither confirm nor deny life number eight.”
“Okay, I don’t want to know.” Fluttershy shook her head. “Promise me you’ll tell Rarity about Opal. I’ll remind her myself later.”
“But who’ll find all those poor birds?” Sweetie asked.
“Oh, I think they’ll be less poor once Opal is off the streets.” Fluttershy muttered.
It was the middle of the night and Fluttershy was asleep in her cottage when somepony knocked on the door. She groaned and turned in her bed, covering her ears with a pillow.
The knocking repeated, this time louder. Fluttershy muttered some words she'd never dare to say aloud during the day and got up.
“Who's there?” she asked, walking to the door.
“It's me.” The voice most definitely belonged to Sweetie Belle. “Openthe door, it's urgent!”
Fluttershy opened the door. Sweetie Belle had twigs in her mane and mud in her coat. She was levitating a thin, yellow-eyed coyote with her magic. Fluttershy sighed; she was sure it'd just bite Sweetie and run away, but the coyote had his own problems. More exactly, he was choking on something.
“What happened?” Fluttershy asked. “Did Opalescence bring him home?”
“No, we didn't let her out, as you said,” Sweetie Belle replied. “That is, she ran away today and I was trying to find her before Rarity comes back from her meeting with Big Mac, but I found this dog instead and I think he's sick.”
“For starters, it's a coyote, not a dog.” Fluttershy looked at the creature. “And he’s choking on something.”
“I know what to do!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “Miss Cheerilee taught us how to do Haymlich manoeuvre!”
Fluttershy tilted her head. “On a coyote?”
Sweetie Belle blushed. “On Rumble. I broke his ribs, I think.”
The coyote shot Fluttershy a worried look.
“Yeah, it’ll be better if I do that.” Fluttershy grabbed the coyote and squeezed it firmly. The coyote coughed and hacked, spitting out mangled remains of something purple and shiny. They landed in front of Sweetie Belle, who looked at them.
“It must’ve been really hungry,” she said. “It looks like Opalescence’s collar.”
Fluttershy furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the coyote, who made a canine equivalent of a shrug. They both looked at Sweetie Belle.
“I mean, why would he eat Opalescence’s collar?” Sweetie asked. “It’s not even made of real leather.”
Fluttershy looked at the coyote again. The animal’s ears drooped. “I don’t think he ate just–” She smirked nervously. “Actually, I think he did just that. Go and look for Opal, she probably feels naked without her collar. Or something.”
“Will you help me?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I can’t,” Fluttershy replied. “I need to talk to Mr. Coyote here.”
Once Sweetie Belle left, Fluttershy turned to the coyote. “Did you eat that cat?” she asked.
The coyote nodded.
“I know a lot of birds who’ll be thankful,” Fluttershy said. “But if you’re planning to stay here for longer, try not to eat any cats. Diamond Tiara is smarter than Sweetie Belle and she loves her cat.”
The coyote made a short whine.
“Yeah, roadrunners are fine,” Fluttershy said. “Well, unless there’s a breeding season. Oh, and don’t mistake Scootaloo for one.”
The coyote furrowed his eyebrows and made a brief howl.
“Right, roadrunners can fly, they just choose not to.” Fluttershy nodded. “But don’t say that when she’s around, it’s rude.”
The coyote whined again.
“Help?” Fluttershy asked. “What help do you need?”
The coyote produced a thick book out of nowhere, opened it and gave it to her.
Fluttershy looked at the page and raised her eyebrows. “A crate of TNT, a giant magnet, and ACME roller skates?”
Author's Note
Inspired by the original version of this screencap (which I edited because I wanted to use it as a cover, but on a thumbnail you can't see sh
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