"I demand at least some sort of backstory!"
“Oh my gosh! It’s been too long!”
“I know! I’ve missed you guys so much!”
“We have so much to catch up on!”
“It’s so great to see you all again!”
Cozy Glow watched, intrigued, as her six favorite actresses of all time reunited for the first time in…well, Cozy didn’t know how long it had been since they’d all seen each other, but apparently it had been too long.
Cozy wasn’t surprised that they were friends both onscreen and offscreen. She’d been an actress herself long enough to know that it’s natural for ponies to become close friends after multiple seasons of pretending to be just that. It was still amazing to see it with her own eyes, though.
“That there is the main cast,” piped up a voice from behind Cozy Glow. “Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity—”
“—and Twilight Sparkle!” Cozy finished. “I know! I’m a huge fan of My Little Pony! I’ve seen all seven seasons!” Cozy took a deep breath, reminding herself she had to play it cool, and offered her hoof to the pony behind her. “I’m Cozy Glow. Nice to meet you.”
“Cozy Glow, Cozy Glow…the name sounds familiar…Oh! You’re playing a villain, right? The deceptively cute one? That’s awesome! I think we’re going to get to be in a lot of scenes together. I’m Scootaloo,” she said, shaking Cozy’s hoof. “Welcome to the cast.”
“Thanks. I’m really excited to be here,” Cozy said breathlessly as she gazed at her surroundings. All around her were dozens of ponies she’d seen onscreen a million times but never met in person before. There was Maud Pie, talking animatedly to two other ponies, with her eyes open wide and an excited look on her face. There were Chrysalis and Starlight, warmly greeting each other with a friendly embrace. There was Spike, one of Cozy’s favorite characters, standing next to a tall green dragon that Cozy had never seen on the show. “Who’s that?” she asked Scootaloo, gesturing to Spike’s chaperone with her hoof.
“That’s Spike’s dad, Sludge. He’s been accompanying Spike to the set for seven seasons now, so everypony knows him. He’s super nice. I heard they actually offered him a role in the show this season; a father-son role with Spike. He’s not going to play Spike’s actual dad, though.”
“That’s so cool!” Cozy cried, bouncing excitedly on her hooves. “This whole thing is so cool!”
Scootaloo chuckled. “Hey, do you want to meet the Mane Six?”
Cozy’s eyes widened. “For real?”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Scootaloo said, suppressing a laugh. “Come on!” With that, she and Cozy ran over to where the main cast was chatting a mile a minute about all the things they’d done over the season break.
“I had so much fun. I went to my first buckball game,” Rarity was saying. “It was such a blast. I ate so many pretzels I lost count.”
“Weren’t you concerned you’d ruin your figure?” Pinkie Pie asked worriedly. “I read once that pretzels—”
Rarity waved her hoof dismissively at Pinkie Pie. “Nah, I’ve been staying in shape, jogging every day. A few pretzels at a buckball game aren’t going to hurt anything.”
“Buckball’s a nice sport,” Fluttershy replied, “but let me tell you, mountain climbing is where it’s at. I went mountain climbing for the first time this month. Super scary, super dangerous—and super fun.”
“Mountain climbing?” Rainbow Dash bit her lip. “I just stayed home and baked. A lot. I found an amazing recipe for this delicious apple pie…”
“Excuse me,” Scootaloo said.
“Oh, hey there, squirt. What’s up?” Rainbow Dash asked, ruffling Scootaloo’s short magenta mane. She sounded just like her show counterpart, Cozy thought.
“This is Cozy Glow,” Scootaloo said, gesturing to her new friend. “She’s a new member of the cast and a huge fan of yours.”
“Hi,” Cozy spoke up shyly.
“Hey there, Cozy Glow!” Twilight Sparkle said, waving cheerfully at the young pink filly. “It’s great to meet you. I’m Twilight Sparkle.”
“Oh, I know who you are! You’re my favorite character in the whole show! Your jokes are hilarious. I love your obsession with checklists. And you have such an inspirational attitude towards the power of friendship and teamwork. I don’t even mind your wings!”
“Do ponies dislike my wings?” Twilight asked, instinctively turning her head to look at them.
“Oh, you have no idea. But I don’t dislike them. I’m so excited to meet you!” Cozy took a deep breath and reminded herself once more to play it cool. “I’m going to be playing a villain in the season finale.”
“Oh yeah! I knew your name sounded familiar,” Twilight said. “Well, it’s wonderful to meet you, Cozy Glow. And I’m sure you’ll do amazing at your role. Not everypony ends up getting selected to play a role as hard as that one, you know. Playing a twist villain takes a lot of skill.”
Cozy Glow couldn’t believe it. Twilight Sparkle had just told her that she had a lot of skill! Cozy silently vowed that she would make Twilight proud and do a great job at her role. It was true that it would take a lot to pull off, but Cozy was a talented actress and knew that she could do it.
That was before her first day of filming.
“Is it…control?” Cozy said, wearing her best “puzzled” face. It was funny to pretend not to know what the Elements of Harmony were. Being such a devoted MLP fan, she could recite them in her sleep—and actually had once or twice, according to her older sister Gardenia.
“Cut!” yelled the director, Derpy Hooves. The sharp, organized Pegasus was the perfect pony to keep everything running smoothly. “That was a great take, Cozy; you’re a natural.”
“Thanks…But do we really need the ‘Is it control?’ line? I mean, I’m supposed to be a twist villain, aren’t I? That line’s going to give everything away just in the first episode I appear in.”
“No, it won’t,” Derpy reassured her.
“Yes, it will,” Cozy protested.
Derpy sighed and buried her face in her wing. “Cozy Glow, I guarantee you that not a single fan will speculate that you’re a villain based on just this one episode. You’re the cutesiest character we’ve introduced to the show so far. Nopony is going to suspect that a character like you is evil. Now come on, let’s get back to filming.”
“See, that’s another thing,” Cozy pressed on. “I’m too cute. Nopony is going to think that this much syrupy sweetness could ever be genuine. I think I need to cut back on the cuteness a little. Like, do I really need these freckles?” Cozy reached up to wipe the face-paint freckles off her cheek, but Derpy stopped her.
“Cozy, trust us. We know what we’re doing. Your reveal as a villain is going to be a total shocker. Nopony’s going to guess it until the season finale.”
A little while later, “Marks for Effort” aired.
“Ugh, look at these comments!” Cozy Glow cried, scrolling through her social media. “‘Great episode, but that new character seems a little fishy.’ ‘Anypony else think there’s more to that Cozy Glow than meets the eye?’ ‘Cozy Glow is Queen Chrysalis in disguise. I just know it.’”
“At least that last one isn’t true,” offered Scootaloo, who’d quickly become close friends with Cozy. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle went way back, and while they considered Scootaloo a friend, the orange Pegasus sometimes felt a bit left out of their group. She’d been grateful for the addition of another filly to the cast.
“I told Derpy that everypony would guess right away that I was a villain,” Cozy fumed, crossing her forelegs over her chest in disgust.
“How did they guess?” Scootaloo asked. “I wouldn’t have guessed you were a villain based solely on that one episode.”
“Yeah, I know. Somehow fans are really good at that.”
Scootaloo scoffed. “At what? Conspiracy theories?”
Cozy shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
Cozy’s next speaking role was in “Friendship University,” which went smoothly. Plainity and Eyepatch stole the spotlight in that one, and few fans commented on Cozy’s performance. Her next speaking role, though, in “What Lies Beneath,” infuriated her.
“I have to say all this mean stuff to the Young Six?!” Cozy exploded during their lunch break as she read through the script. “But this is horrible stuff to say! I would never say anything like this!”
“That’s why it’s called ‘acting,’” said Cozy’s acting coach. “Anyway, you’re supposed to be a villain, aren’t you?”
“Yes! An edgy villain! Not a schoolyard bully!” Cozy threw her script on the ground and stepped on it angrily.
The Mane Six observed Cozy’s temper tantrum from their table.
“Jeez, what a drama queen,” Rarity remarked as she took a large bite of her sandwich, inadvertently smearing her face with peanut butter.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with her?” Fluttershy said, shaking her head in disbelief.
“I’m sure she’s just having a bad day,” Rainbow Dash said. “You’ve gotta remember to give other ponies the benefit of the doubt every once in a while, Fluttershy.”
Twilight Sparkle bit into her quesadilla. “Cozy is a great actress. I’m glad to have her on the team.” She paused. “Even if she is a bit demanding.”
“Agreed,” Applejack said, with no trace of the Southern accent she used when the cameras were on. “What do you think, Pinkie Pie?”
The pink Earth pony had been engrossed in a novel she’d just checked out from the library. “Huh? Did somepony say my name?”
Applejack chuckled and returned to her food.
Cozy was not pleased with how the fanbase received her performance in “What Lies Beneath.” “‘I swear, that Cozy Glow is up to something sinister.’ ‘What kind of pony says anything like that to best yak Yona?’ ‘Give up the cute act, Cozy, you’re not fooling anypony.’ I told my acting coach I didn’t want to have to say all that mean stuff.” Cozy turned off her phone and sighed. “I still feel guilty about some of the stuff I said.”
“You’re playing a villain, Cozy Glow,” Scootaloo said as she tried to focus on doing a backflip in midair. Unlike the character she played, Scootaloo could actually fly quite well, though tricks weren’t her strong suit yet. “You’re going to end up saying some mean stuff. Sandbar, Yona, the rest of them—they understand.”
“Mean stuff, sure. Stuff like, ‘Haha, Twilight Sparkle, I’m going to take over your school.’ Not stuff like…well, the stuff I said.”
“Maybe the season finale will be better?” Scootaloo suggested.
Cozy scoffed. “Doubtful. If I’m this dislikeable of a character before I’m revealed as a villain, I can only imagine how much the fanbase will dislike my character after she reveals her true colors. Nopony likes my character. Not even me.”
“You should talk to Derpy, Cozy. Ask her to give you some backstory or something…something that will make your character just a bit more humane.”
Cozy sighed again. It wasn’t as though she had anything to lose.
Unfortunately, Derpy didn’t seem to think it was as necessary as Scootaloo did that Cozy Glow’s character be made just a bit more humane. “You already have a backstory, Cozy Glow,” Derpy said to the filly after she asked for some backstory to be written into the season finale for her. “You say in ‘Marks for Effort,’ ‘I just moved here to go to school.’ You didn’t grow up in Ponyville—that at least gives you some background.”
“First off, it really doesn’t. And secondly, background isn’t the same as a backstory. Why am I evil? Why do I want to destroy Twilight Sparkle?”
“I don’t know. We didn’t talk about that. You’re just evil.” Derpy was beginning to lose her patience with Cozy.
Ironically, Cozy was also beginning to lose her patience with Derpy. She took a deep breath and tried not to explode at the director. “This is so unfair. Seriously. Even Tirek got more backstory than me, and he was only in two episodes!”
Derpy coughed. “Um, actually…” she said, handing Cozy the script for the season finale.
Cozy Glow skimmed the script. “Are you kidding me?!” she yelled.
“What do you mean?”
“Tirek is my mentor?! For real?!”
Derpy rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “Well, not really a mentor, as such…”
“I’m his pen pal and he teaches me a ritual to drain all the magic from Equestria! How is that not mentoring?” Cozy Glow fumed. “This is horrible! First you say I’m just evil and power-hungry, then you want me to set off some sort of apocalypse…all for no reason?! I demand at least some sort of backstory!”
“You don’t get one. You’re just a power-crazed pony. Work with that.”
“But I’m a filly!” Cozy insisted.
“Exactly,” Derpy replied. “You’re a filly, so you don’t need a backstory in order to help fans feel sorry for you when you get thrown in Tartarus.”
Cozy’s face paled. “Wait, what?! I haven’t read that far yet…”
“Oh, don’t worry, Cozy. We were thinking of freeing your character from Tartarus in season nine so that she could wreak havoc on Equestria and then ultimately end up with a worse fate.”
“Ha!” Cozy Glow cried scornfully. “Good luck getting me to come back for a ninth season! This show is a disaster!”
With that, the young pink pony stomped away angrily.
Derpy bit her lip. “Well, we’re going to need someone else to play Cozy Glow in season nine…”
Ocellus shrugged. “Eh, I’ll do it.”
Cozy gritted her teeth as she walked away. “When I get a hold of my agent, he is so fired.”
