Did you know that bananas are radioactive?
Princess Celestia was just enjoying her regular morning slice of banana cake when, quite suddenly, she bit into something unexpected. She spat out the peel of a banana, startled.
"Ugh! Who put this in here?" she muttered to herself, irritated. She looked down at the banana peel, which innocently lay on her plate. "I have to talk to the cooks. How hard is it just to peel a banana and bake it, for crying out loud?
Celestia huffed and flung the peel to the floor, expecting a servant to rush to clean it up. Her frustration took the form of a forceful bite into the cake.
But within mere moments, a wave of guilt crashed over her.
"That was… really rude," she muttered to herself, looking around as if anyone might overhear. She looked back at the peel on the floor. "I shouldn't have done that."
With a sigh, Celestia's horn glowed as she floated the peel off the floor and into the waste bin nearby. "This whole princess-ey thing is really going to my head," she muttered to herself, shaking her head. She'd always taken pride in her poise and grace, but the moments like this made her wonder if she was ever losing touch with the humble pony she once was.
Celestia then heard a familiar voice right outside her door.
"I couldn't have said it better myself," teased the sound of her niece, Princess Cadence, who obviously had overheard her.
Celestia turned, startled to see Cadence, followed by her daughter Princess Flurry Heart, standing at the door.
Cadence's eyes sparkled with mischief. "It's nice to see even you can get a little carried away, Auntie," she teased, her smile light but knowing. Celestia's cheeks turned a rosy shade, and she gave her niece a playful, weary smile.
Before Celestia could reply to that, a giggle caught her attention, and her gaze fell on Flurry Heart, who had been hovering just behind her mother, fluttering about with filly energy, completely oblivious to anything else.
"Flurry, be a good little princess and don't fly indoors! You know the rules," Cadence chided gently. She didn't even wait for a response before turning back to Celestia. "Sweetie, what did I say about turning the castle into your personal raceway?"
Flurry Heart, utterly unconcerned by her mother’s lecture, launched herself, zooming around the room in giggles.
Celestia watched in amazement at the little filly’s speed.
Cadence was less impressed and more irritated. "Flurry, careful! You might fly right into that—"
It was too late, however; with one fell swoop, Flurry Heart dived head first into the waste bin and spewed its contents all over the room. And there went that banana peel Celestia had flung flying onto the ground just near the doorway of the room with a dull *splat*.
A second later, Princess Luna, Celestia's younger sister, trotted in, curious about the noise. She walked through the doorway, oblivious to the peel laying on the ground. Her eyes narrowed at the scene unfolding before her. "Sister, what in Equeee—"
Luna's sentence was cut short as she stepped on the banana peel and slipped. Her hooves flailed in the air while she tried to regain balance.
"IT'S AN AMBUSH!" Luna yelled in her Canterlot voice.
"EVACUATE THE CITY!" she cried, wide-eyed with panic.
Celestia, utterly stupefied, stood frozen in place, her jaw hanging open in shock. "Luna, wait!" she called, but it was too late.
Before anyone could even try to stop her, Luna started issuing orders left and right, teleporting everyone in the castle to safety.
"Head Lunar Commander," Luna continued, her tone grave, "it’s time."
Celestia, now more concerned than confused, tried to intervene. "Now, Lulu, calm down. It’s not that big of a deal—you just sli—"
"NO TIME, SISTER! WE MUST ERASE ALL OF CANTERLOT TO SAVE OURSELVES!" Luna's voice boomed.
Celestia, suddenly feeling very uneasy, could feel something deep in her chest that something was horribly wrong. Her heart raced as seconds ticked by.
Luna then raised the moon, plunging the world into a nighttime-like darkness.
Then, a distant explosion burst from the moon itself. A huge, city-destroying nuke shot toward Canterlot.
Celestia was frozen in place, her mouth hanging open as the missile flew right into Canterlot. The sound of its rockets faded as she stared after it, too stunned to react.
Luna, on the other hand, looked utterly delighted with herself. With a proud grin, she watched the nuke hit it’s target.
*KABLOOEY*
"SISTER, YOU SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL!" Celestia managed to yell, having finally getting her voice back.
At that, Luna's smile faltered, along with her expression changing from victorious to horrified. "W-wait, what? We weren't being invaded? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" Luna shrieked.
"You didn't exactly give me the chance." Replied Celestia, her annoyance clear.
Luna groaned in embarrassment, her ears flattening.
From a safe distance, Cadence, who had been watching in horror, still pale as a ghost, struggled to comprehend the chaos unfolding. "L-Luna, WHY do you even HAVE a moon nuke?!”
Luna shrugged. "Oh, that? Back when I was Nightmare Moon, I built it to, uh, erase Celestia. But after my reformation, I thought I'd use it for good."
"How did you even make it?" Cadence asked in shock.
"Uhh… fun fact… bananas are radioactive," Luna explained sheepishly, as if this were the most normal thing in the world.
"WHAT DOES THAT HA—" Cadence's voice caught, her mind finally catching up with what had been said. "Oh…"
Celestia's face twisted in incredulity and disgust. "Wait a second… you took the food supply from when you were on the moon… and used it to make a freaking NUKE?"
Cadence covered Flurry Heart’s ears, shielding her from her mother’s foul language.
Luna winced. "Well… uh, when you put it that way, it sounds really bad.
Cadence, still wrapping her head around it all, sat staring at Luna. "Right, because nothing says 'reform' like moon-based annihilation. And the ponies? Did you just exterminate an entire population?
Luna, looking visibly deflated by the realization of how her actions might have seemed, lowered her head. "No no no! Don't worry, the nuke teleports them away… Magic… Ta-da!" she said, in an attempt to reassure them.
Celestia sighed as she stepped toward her sister. She placed a comforting hoof to Luna's shoulder, softening her expression. "Come on, Luna. Let's go rebuild Canterlot. It might make you feel better. And hey, I'll even let you pick the bar we visit later."
Luna's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm at the mention of a bar. "Sweet!"
And with that, the two princesses flew off to rebuild Canterlot, while Cadence and Flurry Heart still tried to wrap their heads around what just went down.
As they flew off, Cadence couldn't stop herself from mumbling, "This is going to be one for the history books."
Author's Note
So many names... waste bin, trash bin, trash can, what do you guys call it?
Prompt for this story: Luna trips on a banana peel and Canterlot explodes
