(Take Me Into) Your Skin

Rarity was fully capable of admitting that when her emotions got the best of her, she was prone to theatrics.

Her friends could tell you that. Her family could tell you that. Ponyvillians that she was wasn't even all that intimate with could tell you that. It was just how she was. When the woes of the world tried to overtake her, she'd wail and sob until they crawled away, defeated. It brought her a level of catharsis that she could never fully explain. When her fits were over she'd, of course, endeavor to quickly pull herself back together and sweep it from her memory. But in those exact moments during, she simply didn't care. She'd kick, roll around, cry to the point of utterly ruined makeup, and eat however much ice cream would settle her nerves. It was, put as favorably as possible, a very colorful coping mechanism.

She couldn't explain why she behaved like that. It wasn't an act, certainly not. When her feelings reached a fever-pitch it was like she went on auto-pilot. She had to let it all out, had to shed her skin and empty all of the unpleasantness into the air so that it might evaporate entirely. It may not have fit her image, but it always felt good.

Still, it bothered her, sometimes. Everypony was different. Mussed up emotions required a unique, special touch for everypony currently burdened with them. Not everypony could simply take their pain in silence. But her little outbursts could be a tad... much. Foalish, even, but she hated to even consider the notion of the word describing anything about her.

It overtook her thoughts every now and again. Anytime it happened, it really was like she was resetting herself to default. No, like she was finally emptying a bucket that was just about to overflow. It was never just whatever situation at hoof that she was carrying on about. There was always more, she realized. Always some past discomfort, distaste, or displeasure that was being soothed, even if she didn't realize so at the time.

Ultimately, it more than likely came down to her work. No matter how much she adored what she did, it brought with it unique stresses and strains that, most of the time, needed to put aside for the sake of the art. That could easily lead to a sort-of emotional build-up. So, when the nonsensical desire to collapse and forego every part of her true image overtook her, it understandably hit rather hard.

(She remembered one particularly moody day for her. She'd ended up rolling around so much that both sets of her false lashes had fallen off. That, oddly, had made her feel better to the point she pulled herself together only five or so minutes later. It was something she always found to be silly whenever it came to mind. What could have been so comforting in not having them on?)

Could she carry on like that forever?

"How do you handle stress?"

Applejack and Twilight looked up from their respective cups of iced-tea. Twilight gave a thoughtful hum, shifting a little on top of the cafe's outdoor pillow-cushion before responding.

"Well, assuming I'm not, ah, too far gone in one direction, I like to talk aloud and reason things out myself. Writing my thoughts down can be beneficial too. There's also the forever effective method of 'having Spike point out I'm being silly'."

All three mares laughed. Rarity was the first to stop, turning to Applejack right as she did. "And you, Applejack? How do you manage?"

"Hmm..." Applejack took a slow sip through her straw as she gathered her thoughts. "Kinda hard to say, really. Most of the time I start to feel a little ornery I spend more time in the orchard than usual. Workin' more, stayin' out longer. Though of course if I'm gettin' a little temperamental when with one of y'all I got a tendency of just tryin' to leave. Or uh, arguin', if it's real bad."

"I see." Rarity leaned forward to take a taste of her unsweetened-tea, but only ended up moving the straw around with her magic. "I of course am a touch different. I have to let my feelings be known, I suppose. It's too much, otherwise." She looked down at her hooves, recently polished but already needing to be touched-up again. "You two have never... just broken down, then? Let it all out into the open? Reacted a little too much, as it were?"

The look Twilight gave her was simultaneously scathing and deeply embarrassed. Rarity mumbled out a 'sorry'. Applejack huffed a laugh.

"I try and keep myself on the level, I think. I'm not stone or nothin', though. Apple Bloom of course can get my emotions runnin' pretty wild, and I've fallen out pretty bad once, I cleanly recall."

Rarity and Twilight tipped their heads, with Rarity voicing their shared thought: "Just the once?"

Applejack hummed and took another sip of her tea, closing her eyes as she swallowed. "Just the once."

A melancholic air overtook the table, and it only helped to push Rarity deeper into the recesses of her mind. Compared to her own behavior (and Twilight's town-spanning outlier), Applejack either put her frustration into working harder or simply tried to separate herself until she calmed down.

She didn't cry her woes to the stars, didn't drown herself in comfort food and fluffy bedding. Applejack didn't have to dump every one of her little issues all at once to keep functioning. She wasn't like Rarity.

I'm not like her.

"Of course I'm not," Rarity said. Both of her friends perked back up and looked in her direction. Somewhat embarrassed, Rarity lightly adjusted her mane with a hoof. "My apologies. Just— thinking a little too loudly. We all have our manner of dealing with things, is what was on my mind. We'd all approach things differently, and that fascinated me."

"Sure. Barring directly and obviously unhealthy choices, there isn't a right or 'wrong' way among them for anypony. You, ah, let it all out, I talk it out, Applejack works it out. Fluttershy... uhm, she's been getting there. Ultimately we all have been able to keep pulling ourselves together again. You don't have to feel ashamed, Rarity."

Rarity gave a low chuckle, smiling even if she still didn't feel it completely. "You've gotten very adept at reading ponies, Twilight. Thank you, I needed to hear that."

"Yup. Ain't nothin' to be frettin' over, hon. We're all built just the way we were meant to be built, I reckon."

"Of course you'd say that," Rarity said, smooth as anything. Quickly afterwards, however, she course-corrected into something the wasn't so needlessly icy. "We're quite the colorful set, aren't we?"

If that earlier hint of venom had been noticed, nopony acknowledged it. Instead Applejack nodded in agreement. "Yup, and that's why I'm always happy to take y'all for who and how ya are. You need to holler, go on and holler. Don't go comparin' yourself or any of that silly mess, y'hear?"

Yes. What point was there in trying to compare herself to somepony who had perfect hair and a body that didn't need to be micro-managed and felt like her absolute default was all she needed to face the world and didn't deserve didn't even care about all the ways she was

Really it was just another moment of Applejack being unaware to the point of insensitivity how could she be so flippant about all the things that Rarity constantly drove herself mad for and

"I think," Rarity began, forcing herself to finish her very tasteless tea to try and wash away the knot in her belly. "I will be returning home. Sautéed sunflowers didn't seem to agree with my stomach."

"Oh! I'm sorry, Rarity. That's unfortunate, I thought they'd go over well." Twilight waved to the waiter with a small frown. "I'll get the bill, don't worry. I hope you feel better."

"Dang. Want some company on the walk back, Rares?"

"No," Rarity said, making sure to avoid watching the way Applejack's very being seemed to blend perfectly with the afternoon light.

Applejack was pretty, and she was lucky to be so effortlessly pretty in a way that—

That Rarity could never—

"I'll be fine," Rarity finally continued, even if the words seemed to have to fight their way past the growing cavern in her chest. She closed her eyes, and felt weak when forced to acknowledge that the lack of Applejack in her vision did indeed bring her a touch of comfort. "I believe I just..."

Why couldn't you want to be like me, instead?

"I just need a little time." She turned away from the table and her ugly, pitiful feelings. "I'll get over it soon. I promise."