I opened my eyes slowly, the blurry outlines of Sunset’s apartment coming into view. My head throbbed, and the faint sound of laughter and talking hit me like nails on glass. Their voices, light and happy, echoed off the walls, mixing together into something unbearably grating.

It was dumb. All of it. How could they be laughing? How could they just… act like everything was fine? I LITERALLY FUCKING DIED! EVEN MORE DUMBER IS THIS THAT THIS IS MY SECOND DEATH AND WHAT I GET? SOME PARTY IN RETURN?

Time seemed to slow, the world narrowing to the weight pressing on my chest. I needed air, space away from their voices, their smiles,

Without even thinking about it, I got up. My movements were automatic, like someone else was piloting my body. I didn’t even register that I’d left the room until I was outside, standing in the cold night air.The wind bit at the back of my neck.I leaned against the wall next to Sunset’s door, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the crumpled pack of cigarettes the blue-haired girl had given me. I fished one out and lit it, the faint orange glow illuminating my trembling hands.

The first drag burned my throat, but the discomfort was almost welcome. It felt… grounding, like the smoke was tying me to the moment. I took another puff, exhaling slowly and watching the cloud dissipate into the chilly air.

My head falled back against the wall. The cold seeped into my skin, but it couldn’t touch the storm inside me.

"Aw, it really feels… good," I muttered to myself, almost bitterly. It wasn’t the cigarette, though. It was the escape, the fleeting silence it gave me from everything else.

The blue-haired girl’s face flashed in my mind. Who was she? She reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t place it. Her voice, her smirk,they tugged at something deep inside me, but it slipped through my fingers every time I tried to grab hold of it.

I took another long puff, holding the smoke in my lungs like it could fill the emptiness inside me.

"So this is my new tomorrow" I said aloud, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. I let out a hollow laugh. "Heh."

The sky above was vast and dark, indifferent to my presence. I stared at it, as if it held the answers I needed.

"But I don’t want to live like this," I whispered, the words trembling as they left my lips. My voice cracked, barely audible over the faint hum of the city around me.

"I just… I just want to know who I was. Who I was going to be. Before all of this." My hand shook as I raised the cigarette to my lips again. "This fucking sucks."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them away. Crying wouldn’t change anything. Crying wouldn’t make the lies go away, wouldn’t erase the feeling of being a stranger in my own skin.The laughter from inside Sunset’s apartment drifted out to me, muffled and distant. It felt like another world, one I didn’t belong to anymore.

I looked down at the cigarette in my hand, the ashes threatening to crumble. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to belong. Maybe I was just meant to drift, like the smoke swirling into the night"

The cigarette hung loosely between my fingers, the faint ember at its tip glowing softly against the darkness. My eyes followed the tendrils of smoke as they curled upward, disappearing into the night like ghosts.

"But what should I do?" I muttered under my breath, my voice shaking. The question lingered in the cold air, unanswered.

"I won’t tell the girls," I said firmly, though the words felt hollow. "Sunset? Maybe..."

My voice trailed off, and a bitter laugh bubbled up from my chest.

"What the fuck am I even thinking?"

The laugh grew louder, harsher, until it echoed off the walls. It wasn’t laughter born from humor but from the sheer absurdity of it all.

"I’m the hero" I spat, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "The one with the cape. The big fucking savior." The laugh turned into a wheezing, hysterical fit, my body shaking as the noise ripped through me. "I can’t get help. Not anymore."

I clutched my head, my fingers digging into my scalp as if I could physically pull the thoughts out. "I asked Sunset for help. Celestia. My mom. And what did it get me?"

My voice cracked, raw and ragged. "Pain. Just… pain."

Tears blurred my vision, but I didn’t bother wiping them away. They streamed down my face, hot and relentless, mixing with the cold sting of the night.

"Haha. I can’t even think straight," I whispered, the laugh still lingering on the edges of my voice.

"They think I’m some kind of knight in shining armor. Some perfect fucking hero. But why? Because I helped Sunset? Because I—" My throat tightened, the words catching.

"Because my mom pushed this vision of us being together into my head? Because she made sure I’d be the one to fight? Because she gave me her power?"

I slammed my fist against the wall behind me, the dull pain grounding me for a moment. "I didn’t do any of it. It wasn’t me. It was her."

"I’ll always be her shadow. Her big, fucking, black shadow. No matter what I do, I’ll never be anything more. I’m so fucking dumb. Thinking I could have something like this. Thinking I could have a happy future. Thinking I could build it with my own hands."

The tears came harder now, my shoulders shaking with the force of my sobs. The laughter was gone, replaced by an aching emptiness that felt like it would swallow me whole.

The cigarette had long since burned out, its remnants crushed beneath my hand. I didn’t notice. I didn’t care.

The sound of muffled laughter and music from inside Sunset’s apartment seemed so far away, like it belonged to another world. A world where I didn’t belong.

I clenched my fists , my nails digging into my palms as I tried to steady my breathing. But the storm inside me wouldn’t settle.

"I don’t even know who I am," I whispered, the words barely audible against the night. "I don’t even know if I want to know, I don't even know my own name....."

My voice was barely a whisper at first, shaky and raw, but the melody began to take shape, a reflection of the storm inside me.

"Just yesterday, I was so scared,
Living in shadows, too much to bear.
Her choices, her voice, her endless demands,
Left me with nothing, just blood on my hands."

I was the echo, never the sound,
Bound by her will, tied to the ground.
Every scar, every tear, every fight,
Wasn’t my battle, wasn’t my right."

The words poured out of me, each one tugging at the wounds I’d buried deep. My voice grew louder, stronger, as anger mingled with sorrow.

"But maybe I could break these chains,
Maybe I could fight through the pain.
What if the strength I feel inside,
Could bloom, could grow, could never hide?"

I want to scream, I want to run,
Find who I am, be someone.
No more shadows, no more lies,
I’ll find the truth beneath the skies."

The intensity built, my voice cracking as tears threatened to spill again. My fists clenched at my sides, and I stepped away from the wall, the emotion overwhelming me.

"But it hurts, God, it hurts so much,
The weight, the guilt.
How do I move when the ground is gone?
How do I fight when I’ve fought so long?"

I’m tired of questions, tired of fear,
I’m tired of wishing she was still here.
What if I fall? What if I break?
What if this strength is just a mistake?"

The song breaking momentarily as my breath hitched. Then, another voice joined me, soft and tentative at first. Sunset. She stood at the doorway, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, her voice steady but full of emotion.

"I know that feeling, I’ve lived it too,
Chained by expectations I never knew.
Every failure, every fight,
Was a mirror of my endless plight."

"But then you came, you reached for me,
Tore through the chains, set me free.
You showed me light when I couldn’t see,
And now I swear, I’ll never leave."

Her voice grew stronger as she stepped closer, her hand reaching out to touch mine.

"You’re not alone, not anymore,
We’ll break these shadows, we’ll fight this war.
No more lies, no more pain,
Together, we’ll start again."

I joined in

"But how can I trust, when trust is gone?
How can I hope, when the night feels so long?"

"You lean on me, I’ll be your guide,
You’re not alone, I’m by your side."

We both singed, both poured our souls.

"We’ll find the truth, we’ll find the light,
We’ll face the shadows, we’ll win this fight.
Step by step, day by day,
We’ll heal the scars, we’ll find our way."

As the song reached its crescendo, we stood together, the cold wind forgotten, replaced by the warmth of shared determination. Sunset’s hand tightened around mine, her unwavering gaze anchoring me to the moment.

"Just yesterday, I was so scared...
But maybe now, I’m more prepared."

Sunset singed with soft voice

"The strength you seek, it’s already there.
And I’ll be with you, I’ll always care."

The melody faded into the cold night, leaving only the sound of our breathing. I wanted to believe her words, to let her comfort seep into my soul and erase the ache. But it didn’t. Not really.

Our quiet romantic moment was broken by soft shuffling from behind the door. I turned my head just as it creaked open, revealing the girls peeking through the small gap. Their eyes were red, their faces stained with tears, each one wearing an expression of raw guilt and sorrow. Pinkie was the first to burst in, her sobs loud and unfiltered as she threw herself onto me and Sunset, knocking us both over onto the floor.

“I’m sooooo sorry! We thought the party would make you happy! We thought it’d fix everything, but I-I didn’t know! I didn’t know you were hurting so much!” She buried her face in my shoulder, her curls trembling as she cried.

Rainbow followed next. She knelt beside me, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her jacket but failing to stop the tears. “I didn’t know either” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I didn’t even think about how you were feeling. I just thought… I don’t know what I thought. I should’ve been there for you, man. I’m sorry.” She reached out hesitantly, as if unsure if I’d even want her touch, before resting her hand gently on my arm.

The others crowded in behind her, each of them breaking in their own way. Rarity dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, though it didn’t stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. “Darling, I-I can’t believe we were so blind. You’ve been carrying so much, and we didn’t see it. How could we have missed it?”

Applejack took off her hat, holding it against her chest like she was mourning a friend. “Sugarcube,” she said softly, her voice heavy with regret. “You didn’t have to go through this alone. We should’ve seen it. We should’ve done somethin’.”

Even Fluttershy, knelt beside me, her hands wringing nervously as she whispered, “I’m so sorry. I-I wish I could’ve helped. I wish I’d known.”

Twilight lingered in the back, her face pale and stricken. She looked like she wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words. Her hands clutched the edge of her skirt. I could see the guilt in her eyes, the way it consumed her.

They were all here, pouring their hearts out, exposing theirselfs, trying so desperately to show me how much they cared. And yet… I felt nothing. No warmth. No relief. No comfort. Just emptiness.

Pinkie’s sobs grew louder, and she clung to me tighter. “Please, please don’t be sad anymore!” she cried. “We’ll do anything to make it better! Anything!”

Rainbow leaned closer, her voice desperate. “You don’t have to do this alone, okay? We’re here for you. We’re your friends. Just… let us help.”

They were trying so hard. They cared so much. But it wasn’t enough. Not for me. Not now. Their words didn’t reach the hollow ache in my chest. Their tears didn’t wash away the weight pressing down on me. Their hugs didn’t warm the cold, dark void inside. I wanted to feel something, anything, but all I could think about was how much it hurt. How much I wanted it to stop.

“I… appreciate it,” I said, my voice barely audible. “I really do. But… a hug isn’t going to fix this. It’s not that simple.”

Pinkie pulled back, her big, tear-filled eyes searching mine. “But we’re your friends! We love you! Isn’t that enough?”

“It’s not about love. It’s not about you. This is… something I have to figure out on my own. Something I have to face.”

Sunset, still sitting beside me, tightened her grip on my hand. “You don’t have to face it alone”

She wanted so badly to help me, to take away my pain, but she couldn’t. No one could. “I know. But that doesn’t make it go away.”

They all looked at me, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to help. And I didn’t have the energy to comfort them. I didn’t have the strength to pretend I was okay.

“I just need some time,” I said finally. “Time to figure out who I am. What I want. Because right now… I don’t know.”

Sunset nodded slowly, her expression a mix of determination and sadness. “Okay,” she said. “Take the time you need. But promise me one thing.”

“What?” I asked, my voice hoarse.

“Don’t shut us out completely. Let us in. Even just a little.”

I hesitated before nodding. “I’ll try.”

We stepped into the apartment, the soft hum of the lights and the faint creak of the door closing behind us the only sounds filling the air. I plastered a smile on my face, one that felt more like a mask than a reflection of how I actually felt. I forced a laugh or two when Sunset joked about the mess they’d left, pretending it didn’t bother me.

Pretending everything didn’t bother me.

But every second felt like a weight pressing down on my chest. The pulse in my veins thudded like a drum, reminding me I was alive when I didn’t feel alive at all. I tried to brush it off, but the sensation lingered, gnawing at me. Fun was supposed to feel… fun. Yet the laughter, the friendship, all of it it just bounced off the walls inside me, never touching anything real.

I wasn’t even sure when they left. The goodbyes blurred together, “see you later” and “take care” that I barely registered. Twilight was the last to leave, giving Sunset a warm hug before she left to go back to Equestria. I watched her go, feeling a pang of something I couldn’t even name. Relief? Guilt? Emptiness? Maybe all of it.

Then it was just us me and Sunset and the mess. Empty cups, crumpled napkins, discarded plates. It was everywhere. I looked around, the sight of it filling me with a simmering frustration.

“Guess we’re on clean-up duty,” Sunset said with a small laugh, already picking up a few cups.

“Why do we have to clean this?”

Sunset paused, glancing at me. “Because they were our guests? It’s not a big deal. We can have it done in no time if we both pitch in.”

The words bubbled up before I could stop them. “They made this mess. They should clean it. With their own damn hands.”

She blinked, caught off guard by the sharpness in my tone. “They’re our friends,” she said carefully. “They came here to cheer you up. I don’t see why you’re so mad about—”

“Because I’ve had enough of that bullshit!” I snapped, the words cutting through the air like a blade. “All this ‘we’re with you’ crap! ALL OF YOU ALLWAYS SAID THIS BUT WEREN'T THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU! They didn’t see how I—”

I stopped mid-sentence, my breath hitching. The words hung in the air. I turned away, cursing under my breath. “Fuck.”

When I finally looked back at her, she was staring at me, her eyes wide with shock. A single tear slid down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away, but not before I saw it.

“That’s how you feel?” she whispered, her voice trembling. “That we’re all just… pretending to care? That we don’t understand?”

“It’s not about pretending,” I mumbled. “It’s about not being there. You didn’t see it, Sunset. You didn’t—” My voice broke, and I shook my head. “Forget it.”

She didn’t look away. Her gaze stayed locked on mine, her eyes searching for something, anything, that could explain what I wasn’t saying. “What happened to you?” she asked softly. “What happened that made you… change so much?”

I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t have the strength to bring it all into the light, to explain how the darkness inside me felt like it was eating me alive. Instead, I picked up a stray plate and threw it into the trash, the sharp clatter echoing in the silence.

The rest of the clean-up passed in wordless tension. Sunset didn’t push me, and I didn’t offer anything more. We worked side by side, the silence heavy and suffocating. I could feel her glancing at me every so often, her concern palpable, but I didn’t meet her eyes.

When the last piece of trash was gone, I sank onto the couch, staring at the blank wall across from me. Sunset stood a few feet away, watching me like she was trying to figure out how to reach me. I wished she wouldn’t. I wished she’d just let me sit in the quiet and pretend everything was fine.

But she didn’t move. She didn’t leave. And somehow, that made it worse. Because no matter how much I tried to push her away, she was still there. Still caring. Still hoping.

“And what are you willing me to say?” I asked, my voice a low rasp, breaking under the strain of holding everything in. “You better off knowing, the trouble that torments me,I don’t want you to worry, about what i've seen. About where i was in and what it bringed me.”

Her face softened for a moment, her lips trembling like she wanted to argue, but I didn’t give her the chance. “You don't need this"

My voice cracked, and I swallowed hard. “Maybe you don't need me....”

Her eyes widened in disbelief, and for a split second, I thought she might step back, that she might let me go. But then her hand shot out, and a sharp sting spread across my cheek. She had slapped me.

The room stood still. The air was heavy, electric, charged with emotions . I didn’t move. I couldn’t. The slap wasn’t what hurt, it was the look in her eyes, a storm of anger, hurt, and desperation that cut deeper than any words ever could.

Her hands clenched into fists, trembling as she brought them down on my chest, not to hurt me but to

make me feel

The blows were light, almost pleading. “You are really fucking dumb,” she spat, her voice cracking with every syllable. Tears streamed down her face, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away. “Why? Why, despite everything, do you keep pushing me away?”

She hit me again, her fists weak but her words stronger than steel. “You pushed me away once, and now again. Why? Why do you do this to yourself? To me?!”

Her voice broke completely, a sob tearing from her throat as she stepped back, hugging herself like she was trying to hold herself together.

“Maybe I can’t help you! Maybe you don’t need help! Maybe you don’t need the girls, and maybe…” Her voice faltered, and she looked down, her tears falling freely now. “Maybe you don’t need me too!.”

I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that I needed her more than anything, but the words wouldn’t come. My chest felt hollow, like a vast, empty cavern where my heart used to be. I could barely breathe, let alone speak.

“I’ve tried, you know?” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the pounding in my ears. “I’ve tried so hard to be there for you, to understand you. But you won’t let me. You won’t let anyone. And I…” She choked on her words, her sobs overtaking her. “I don’t know what else to do.”

Her pain was unbearable to witness, and it was my fault. All of it. I wanted to hold her, to tell her I was sorry, but I knew it wouldn’t be enough. I knew I wasn’t enough.

I stepped forward to her, my hands trembling as I reached for her, but she flinched, stepping back. That small movement shattered me. I pulled my hands back, letting them fall to my sides.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

Her head snapped up, her tear-filled eyes locking onto mine. “What?”

“I told you in the beginning,” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m not the guy you need. I’m not the guy who can make you happy. I thought… I thought I could be. I wanted to be. But I can’t.”

Her lip quivered, and she shook her head. “Don’t you dare—”

“I’m sorry, Sunset.” I cut her off, my voice cracking. “For everything.”

I turned away before she could see the tears welling up in my eyes. I grabbed my shoes, slipping them on with shaking hands. I couldn’t stay. Not like this. Not when I was breaking apart inside and dragging her down with me.

As I opened the door, the cold night air hit me like a slap, but it wasn’t enough to numb the pain. I stepped outside, the door creaking shut behind me. I didn’t look back. I couldn’t.

The world was quiet, the streets empty, save for the occasional hum of passing cars in the distance. The stars above seemed mocking, their light cold and distant, just like everything else. My tears blurred my vision as I walked aimlessly into the night, each step feeling heavier than the last.

I thought about Sunset, her laugh, her smile, the way she always looked at me like I was someone worth saving. And I hated myself for ruining that. For ruining her.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the empty streets, my voice barely audible over the sound of my own sobs. “I’m so sorry.” I pulled a cigarette from my pocket, fumbling with the lighter. My hands were shaking so badly I could barely manage to light it. When I finally did, I inhaled deeply, letting the bitter smoke fill my lungs.

I exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl into the air and disappear. It felt poetic in a way, fleeting, fragile, insignificant. Just like me.

“Why do I always mess up everything?” My voice cracked, and I clenched my fist, the cigarette trembling between my fingers. “Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!”

I punched the wall beside me, the impact reverberating up my arm. The pain shot through me, sharp and immediate, but I liked it. It was better than the suffocating weight in my chest, better than the endless cycle of self-loathing that had become my every waking moment.

“And especially fuck me,” I spat, throwing the cigarette to the ground and crushing it under my heel. “You ruined the only thing you’ve ever cared about.”

What do i have? Now all I had was the look in her eyes as I walked away, the pain I’d put there because I was too broken to let her in.

“FUCK!” I screamed, my voice echoing down the empty street. My fist slammed into the tree beside me, the bark splintering under the force of the blow. Pain shot through my knuckles, but I didn’t stop. I hit it again and again, each strike more forceful than the last, until the tree groaned and cracked, finally toppling to the ground.

The sound of it crashing to the pavement was deafening, but the silence that followed was even louder. My chest heaved as I stared at the fallen tree, my knuckles bleeding, my heart racing. There was a sick satisfaction in it, a twisted sense of power that made my pulse quicken.

It felt good.

Better than anything else had in a long time. Better than the fake smiles and forced laughter, better than pretending I was okay when I wasn’t. Better than the endless platitudes of friendship and hope that I couldn’t bring myself to believe in anymore.

“Maybe…” I muttered, my voice low and unsteady. My hand curled into a fist, blood dripping onto the pavement below. “Maybe this is the way.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. I could feel something stirring inside me, something dark and primal, something I’d been trying to suppress for far too long. It whispered to me, coaxed me, promised me relief from the pain.

“Maybe…” I said again, my lips curling into a bitter smile. “Maybe the hero should fall…”

My eyes burned with unshed tears as I looked at the destruction I’d caused, at the shattered pieces of myself reflected in the broken bark and scattered leaves. And in that moment, I knew.

“…and the monster take his place. I'll make the word, where you can be happy Sunset."

Author's Note

Woah, i had fun writing this, do you guys like the way the story is taking? Anddd if you are wondering i made the song in ai if you want to think how would it saund, sadlly it's isnt made in sunset voice but overall i think this is how the beat and everything would went here's link https://youtu.be/xtsExsWMtkg