Sunrise Radiance: The Essence of Sunset Shimmer
Shadows of the Past (R)
Previous ChapterNext ChapterWhen I returned home from the fall formal, I locked the door behind me, wincing as the acute aches from the bruises on my body flared up with every movement. I felt the pressure of the day, but I had to remain silent. I wanted to go unnoticed, to have some time to myself so I could ponder and breathe. But I froze the moment i looked. My dad was sitting there, staring at me from the chair just inside the doorway. His expression was a mask of emotions that I was unable to fully interpret. Fear? Fury? Worrie? All of it was muddled together, and I was unable to decipher its meaning.
My muscles tensed as my heart raced. He had been sitting there for how long? He was studying me as if he knew something, and I hadn't even heard him move. I felt a shudder come over me as his eyes widened, as if he had been waiting for me to return home. In a flash, he leaped from the chair and threw his arms around me in a desperate embrace. I was unprepared for its suddenness, for a while i just stood there, not knowing what to do, how to react
But I could feel his heart racing frantically against mine, like if it were about to blow up. He seemed to suddenly release all of the emotions at once. "You're finally home..." his voice shaking, like he couldn't quite believe it. "You're alive. Thank God... you're alive." his body trembling against mine. At first, I remained silent. My head was whirling. His embrace was intense and smothering. I sensed his anxiety and panic, however, there was also something else. Something that caught me off guard. His concern was evident to me.It was terror, not merely disappointment or rage. He was afraid.
Hesistating for a moment, unsure whether I should pull away, but instead, I slowly wrapped my arms around him, my own body reacting to the wave of emotion. It wasn’t exactly comfort, but it was... real. "I’m okay dad, really i’m fine."
He drew back just enough to look at me, his eyes scanning mine for a sign that I wasn't telling the truth. His expression of worry was nearly intolerable. I noticed him flinch as his gaze flitted over the wounds, bruises, and charred suit fabric on my body. "Tell me, what were those lights outside? The explosion? What happened? Did you... did you do something, did somebody wanted to harm you?"
"No, no," shaking my head. "They were just fireworks." The lie slipped out before I could stop it, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. He let out a deep sigh and wiped his face, his fingers lingering at his eyes as if he were trying to force an intolerable notion from his mind. He sank back in his chair with his shoulders drooping, but waves of stress continued to radiate from him.
"This feeling..." his voice so quiet I almost didn’t catch it.
"What do you mean? What feeling?" My own pulse was pounding in my ears, but I tried to keep my voice steady.
He lowered his hands slowly, looking up at me. His eyes were clouded,a mix of emotions I couldn’t quite place—something deeper. "It’s... emitting in you. " he said softly. "Theres something in the air tonight, feeling i haven't fell so strong in years. It's stronger in you than it ever was before....."
Did he feel the magic? But how ? He's just my old man. How could he know about magic? "What do you mean it's emitting in me? Dad is everything okey? You didn't drink today right?" trying to sound casual, but the knot in my chest tightened.
His gaze locked onto mine, intense and searching, like he was looking for answers in my face. "It’s hard to explain son." he admitted. "It’s like an echo... a reminder of something i used to feel a long time ago." I froze. My breath caught in my throat as his words sank in. He knew. He knew something was different.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about dad " I said, my voice too quick, too defensive. I crossed my arms, trying to seem casual, but my body betrayed me with a slight tremor. "It was just a big night, thats all."
He just kept looking at me, his expression softening slightly. "You can trust me." he said quietly, his voice steady but gentle. "Whatever it is, you don’t need to hide it. Not from me, son, i just care about you." My shoulders were burdened by the weight of his words. I wanted to tell him everything . However, the idea of his reaction, and him knowing in how much danger i was, didn't let me.
He sighed heavily, and gestured toward the living room. "Go. Sit there. Wait for me i’ll be there in a second."
I nodded, unsure of what he wanted, but his tone left no room for argument. I trudged toward the living room, still aching all over, and slumped onto the couch. The tension in the air hadn’t lessened—it hung there.
Minutes passed. Long.... Uncomfortable minutes. Finally, I heard his footsteps, he walked into the room, his face was wet. For a merly second, I thought he’d been crying, but the way his hair clung to his forehead made me wonder if he’d splashed water on his face. Did he try to wake himself up ? Or was he trying to clear his head?
He drew a chair close and sat down across me after taking a long breath. He moved purposefully, as if he was regaining his balance.
I straightened up, swallowing hard as his gaze fixed on mine.
"We.. we need to talk about something." He rubbed his hands together, as though trying to warm them. "I’ve wanted to wait a little longer, i won't lie to you son, if i couldn't sense this feeling from you... i don't know if i would ever tell you about this.. but now i must." He hesitated, his eyes drifting to the floor for a moment before locking back onto mine.
"It’s about your mother."
My mother... She was something that my dad avoided talking about... Her death was a void that Dad had always tiptoed around, mentioning her only when absolutely necessary.
"What does she, has do to in any of this?"
Leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, he took a deep breath. He appeared to be fighting a conflict inside himself because of his tangled expression. . "She wasn’t... like us... she wasn't even from here..."
I blinked, confusion mingling with disbelief. "What ?"
"Your mother," he said slowly, each word measured and heavy, "Was extraordinary. She was more than what our world could ever understand. And there’s a part of her in you."
His words hung in the air. "What are you even talking about!?"
"I’ll explain everything," he said, his eyes earnest. "But first, I need to know... what did happend tonight? Did you felt diffrent??"
My heart pounded in my chest, the memories of the night flashing in my mind—the magic, the transformation, the overwhelming surge of power i felt. Could I tell him? Would he even believe me?
He leaned closer, his voice softer but urgent. "Please, son. I need to know. It’s important." With a sigh, he ran a hand throught his hair before continuing, this time in a softer tone. . "Okay... maybe this will make things easier for you.." He paused, as if weighing the enormity of what he was about to say. "Do you know... what Equestria is?"
"Wait.. you know about Equestria?" i Said to him
"I knew it... i knew you know... Your mother... she wasn’t from our world as i said.... She came from Equestria."
The room spun. My vision blurred for a moment as I tried to process his words. It felt impossible—too strange, "No, no that cant be real, dad what do you mean mom was from equestria? Are you too?"
He shook his head slowly, the weight of everything evident in his expression. "No," he said, his voice low and steady. "Only her.... She never told me everything, but... she was someone important there, that's for sure."
"Important?" I echoed, the word hanging in the air like a challenge.
"Yes," he said, his gaze distant, like he was sifting through memories. "She was... a mentor of some sort. A teacher, a guide. She never went into much detail about her life back there, but she did tell me about her two students—Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."
The names hit me like a punch to the gut. Celestia and Luna—the principal and vice-principal of Canterlot High? How could that be? "Wait," I said, sitting up straighter. "You’re telling me... those Celestia and Luna?"
"The ones from her world. They were... different, powerful. Royalty. She said they were like daughters to her, once."
My head swam with questions. "What the fuck dad, she ran from equestria? How could that be even possible?"
His face darkened, the sorrow there almost too much to bear. "She never told how. Just that something happened... something that made her leave. She wanted to start over here..."
"And she found you," I said quietly, more to myself than to him.
"Yes," he replied, his voice softening. "She found me. And then… we had you and…"He stopped, the weight of his words hanging in the air. His expression darkened, a shadow crossing his face that I recognized all too well. He didn’t have to say more—I already knew why he couldn’t finish. And honestly, I didn’t want him to. Everything was already so messed up, I wasn’t sure I could handle more. I took a shaky breath, trying to steady myself against the storm of emotions swirling in my chest.
“So… wait,” I said, my voice cracking slightly. “What does this mean? That horn and the wings I had… I got them bcs of Mom? So, what?” I laughed bitterly, running a hand through my hair. “I’m some kind of hybrid? Half-human, half-pony? What the actual fuck Dad?”
His jaw clenched, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Son it's not like that, it's more complicated...” he said finally. His voice was quiet but heavy, like every word was a struggle.
“Great, and i mean it, is fucking great” I muttered, crossing my arms. “That’s exactly, what I needed to hear right now.”
“Listen to me, we aren't done. ” his tone sharper now. “Your mother… she wasn’t just anypony.”
There it was again—anypony. The word sounded so strange, so out of place in this world. And coming from him? It made everything feel even more surreal. “She was an Alicorn,” he continued, his eyes meeting mine. “The only one of her kind, at least in her time. And that made her… unique.”
“Unique,” I repeated, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Right. So unique, that her kid ends up sprouting wings and a horn out of nowhere, and no one thinks to give him a heads-up?”
His shoulders sagged, and for a moment, he looked older, more tired than I’d ever seen him. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” he admitted. “I thought… maybe it wouldn’t matter. Maybe you wouldn't awaken.”
“Well, it did,” I shot back, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “And it’s not like I got a fucking manual on how to deal with this, DAD. Do you have any idea how insane this all sounds? How insane it feels? HOW DO I FEEL RIGHT NOW?”
The room fell silent, his words echoing in my mind. Alive in me. That thought was both comforting and terrifying, and I wasn’t sure which I felt more.
My father's words crushed me like a boulder as I sat there. The pressure of trying to take it all in made my brain feel like it was about to burst. I was not who I believed myself to be. I wasn’t human. Not at all. I was mistaken about everything I believed to be true about my life and myself. The room's walls seemed to be closing in on me, and the air was getting too heavy for me to breathe. I struggled to breathe in enough oxygen to quiet the roaring storm inside of me, but my chest heaved. A thousand ideas raced through my head, each one more disorganized than the one before it.
You’re not like everybody else.
Like a ruthless chant, the words replayed in my mind. It was me, not simply the wounds I attempted to conceal or the scars on my body. I was never normal. I had always felt uncomfortable and like I was peering in from the outside. And now? Now I had proof that I didn’t belong. That I never belonged.
“I... I need to think,” I muttered, my voice barely audible. My dad reached out like he wanted to say something, but I cut him off, my voice rising. “Dont even try dad, i need time, i don’t fucking know what to think!”
His hand dropping to his side, but I didn’t care. I was too far gone, my emotions spiraling out of control. “Why?” I demanded, my voice cracking. “Why even bother now? If it weren’t for Twilight and the others, I would’ve never known! I would’ve lived my whole life not knowing that I’m… that I’m not…”
The words stuck in my throat like poison, burning as I forced them out. “That I’m not human.”
My dad’s face was a mix of guilt and sadness, but I didn’t let it stop me. “I’m not like everybody else,” I said, my voice trembling. “I never was. And now I’m even less like them. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To have your entire sense of self ripped out from under you?”
I couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t sit in that room for one more second. My hands were shaking as I stood up, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. “I can’t do this,” I said, my voice breaking.
“Son, please ju-” my dad started, but I was already moving.
“No i can’t,” I repeated, my voice louder this time. I hurried out without turning around, and the door slammed behind me with such force that it shook the walls. The chilly night air struck me like a smack in the face, yet it did little to soothe the fury within me. I could hardly get my phone out of my pocket since my hands were shaking so much. I scrolled through my contacts, my fingers fumbling as I searched for someone—anyone—who could help me make sense of this.
I called Applejack first. No answer. Then Pinkie Pie. Nothing. One by one, I went through the names: Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash. Each call went straight to voicemail, the silence on the other end only amplifying the panic in my chest.Of course. They were probably all passed out after the Fall Formal. Exhausted from the dancing, the magic, the battle. And why wouldn’t they be? They’d saved the school. Meanwhile, I was standing here, my life falling apart, completely alone.
Or maybe not completely.
My thumb over my contacts' last name. The only person who might still be awake that came to mind. One who might know what it's like to have your entire life flipped upside down, having experienced her own form of hell. One who was connected to equestria more than anyone else in this word.
Sunset Shimmer.
The phone rang once, twice, and then I heard her voice on the other end.
“Hello?,” she said, her tone cautious. “Something happend? Everything alright?”
Her speech was enough to slightly ease the constriction in my chest, but it also sent a new flood of emotions rushing through me. When I attempted to speak, the words stuck in my throat and instead came out as a choked sound.
“Hey you there?” she said again, softer this time. “Take a deep breath. What’s wrong?”
“I…” My voice cracked, and I closed my eyes, pressing the heel of my hand against my forehead. “It" so fucking weird, i don't know how to put this in words.”
“Well, take you're time.” she said gently. “I’m here.”
Even though her words seemed to be reaching out like a hand, I was still unable to speak. My chest felt heavy and my throat constricted. Everything in me cried out for me to speak, to tell someone, but the words were stuck, entangled in a maze of confusion and terror. “I…” My voice cracked, barely a whisper. “I can’t say it over the phone. I just… can’t. Can you…” I hesitated, the words catching in my throat again. Finally, I forced them out. “Can you give me your address? I need to see you. I can’t— I just can’t do this on the phone.”
Another pause. Then, softly, she said, “Okay, no problem.” She gave me her address—three or four streets from my place, not far at all. “I’ll be waiting for you, take your time.”
“I’ll be there.” I shoved my phone back into my pocket and started running.
It was more than just a run, it was a complete sprint, the kind in which you feel as though your lungs are about to fail, and your legs are on fire, but you are unable to stop. Only that night at the Fall Formal, when I'd rushed into danger to shield my friends from the power Sunset had unleashed, i had I ran faster. Even though it hurt to think about that night, it made me want to run even more. The chilly night air pricked my skin as the streets merged around me. My thoughts was as rapid as my feet, and my adrenaline was still pumping. Even as Sunset's house came into view, I didn't slow down. I could feel my heart thumping in my ears. And the weight of every think i will say to her.
My breath came in harsh gasps when I arrived at her door. I pounded on it mindlessly, loud and desperate, the sound reverberating in the still night. I didn't even think about if there might be another person sleeping inside, till i arleady stopped banging on the door. After a few seconds, the door opened, revealing her. Sunset Shimmer stood in the doorway, looking surprised and worried at the same time. Her eyes were wide as she took in my condition, yet her hair was a touch disheveled, as if she had been attempting to relax after everything, but only tried...
“Hey,” she said softly, stepping aside to let me in. “what happend?!”
I shook my head, speechless as the feelings surged like a tsunami within me. And as soon as I entered her cozy home, I understood that I was in her home, the formal bully, and that I would need her assistance because I am a monstrosity. I thought it was fucking funny how the world messed up so much for me. I became aware that I was shaking—not from the cold, but from the sheer weight of everything coming down at once—and that my legs felt weak and my chest constricted.
Sunset was standing in front of me, looking confused and worried at the same time. I could see the slight redness surrounding her eyes as they glistened with unshed tears. She had been crying.... I wasn't prepared for how hard that hit me. I shouldn't been the one to ask for help, she was struggling to keep herself together. What the hell am I doing? The thought hit me like a slap in the face. She needed support, not me barging in like some broken record of problems...
Her apartment was small but cozy, though it had an air of loneliness to it. The living room was simple, with a couch facing a modest TV on a stand against the wall. A small coffee table sat in front of the couch, cluttered with a couple of books and a mug. To the side, I could see the kitchen—a compact space where maybe four people could squeeze in at once. There was a single closet door, and another door that likely led to her bedroom. Somewhere out of sight, I assumed, was the bathroom.It was tidy, but it felt too quiet, too still. Like she’d been living here alone for a long time. A knot formed in my stomach. How does she manage this? Living on her own, carrying all of this?
The voice of Sunset pierced my mind. With a gentle gesture toward the couch, she said, "Sit." Her tone was gentle and cautious rather than authoritative, as if she was worried that I would break if she spoke too loudly.I nodded and moved toward the couch, despite my hesitation because I felt unworthy of beeing here. But when I eventually sat down, it felt like the weight of the world was trying to push me through the cushions because my legs felt like lead. Sunset did not sit immediately. She watched me with that same anxious expression while hovering close to the couch's edge. I was unable to look her in the eye. I felt too embarrassed. I was embarrassed by the mess I was in and embarrassed to have brought her into it when I knew she had her own struggles.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper.
“For what?” she asked, her voice soft but firm.
“For this. For... showing up like this. For bothering you when I know you’ve got your own stuff going on.”
Her eyebrows knit together, and she shook her head. “You’re not bothering me ,okey?." She sat down next to me then, not too close, but close enough that I could feel the warmth of her presence. “You helped me today. Let me help you now.”
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. I still couldn’t bring myself to look at her. “I don’t even know where to start,” I admitted.
“Start wherever you can,” she said, her tone gentle, patient.
“It’s just... everything’s so fucked up ”
Sunset remained silent. She simply waited while I took my time. And for some reason, that made it simpler to continue.For what seemed like forever, I gazed at the floor while the words gnawed at the back of my throat, trying to escape. As I began to speak, my hands were shaking and my body felt as though it was operating automatically.Beside me, She sat quietly, waiting, her eyes gentle and worried. Even though she hadn't spoken, I could sense her presence because of the way her eyes seemed to support me. The only thing preventing me from passing out .
How do I even begin to say this?
"Sunset..." for a moment, I couldn’t even get the words out. It felt like the weight of it all was too much to carry. But she was patient, her gaze never leaving mine. She didn’t rush me.
I just need to say it, I just need to get this out of myself, like i did it earlier.
“My dad... he told me something tonight, something he was hiding from me...” I began, my voice barely above a whisper. “He told me a story about my mom. About who she was. She wasn’t—she wasn’t even from human word.” I paused, swallowing hard as the tears started to sting in the corners of my eyes.
“She was an Alicorn,” I continued, my voice cracking. “She was from Equestria, just like you. She lived there for centuries. Tutored Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. She was... she was someone important there, she went into hiding then after many thousand of years she came to this world and fell in love with my dad. They had me.”
The more I said the words, the more my hands began to shake. I never imagined saying them aloud. Now, the words came out of me more quickly, their weight descending like an avalanche. “And my brother,” I added, lowering my voice to the point where I was practically unheard. It wasn't interrupted by sunset. Although she remained silent, I could see her eyes slightly widen. She was willing to listen, but she looked at me as if she were seeing the pieces of a puzzle she didn't understand.
The silence stretching between us, suffocating me. My vision blurred as tears welled up, threatening to spill over. “I’ve never... I’ve never been able to talk to anyone about him. Never. Not even with my dad. It’s like we’ve got this agreement not to talk about it, but tonight... I’m telling you.... I’m telling you, Sunset.”
My voice broke completely, and I could feel my whole body shaking now. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “He’s... gone. He’s gone, and it’s my fault. I failed him. I failed him, Sunset.” I choked on a sob, barely able to get the words out. “I was supposed to protect him, and I didn’t. And now he’s—he’s—” My voice gave out entirely, replaced by a guttural cry that tore through me like a knife.
Only then did I realize that Sunset was holding my hands. At some point during my speech, she must have reached for them, but her hold became more firm. Not only was it reassuring, but it also grounded me and drew me back from the precipice of the downward spiral. My chest hurt even more when I looked up at her and saw the expression on her face. connection the sadness, the anxiety. She felt my pain as if it were her own, and she wasn't just listening.
Tears were streaming down my face, and the sound of my own suffering made my chest hurt. I was having trouble breathing. I was unable to think. The half-human, half-pony simply spilled through the glass I purposefully kept in check, bringing to the surface everything I had been suppressing for so long. As I sobbed, Sunset tightened her hold on my hands, and I could feel her lean in. Her warmth and the way she drew me into her embrace were palpable, and the tenderness with which she held me nearly broke my heart.
But I couldn’t stop myself. I kept telling her more. I kept spilling everything. I didn’t care anymore. I had to. I had to let it out.
“I don’t know how to keep going,” I admitted, my voice trembling. “I can’t—I can’t do this anymore. It’s like every time I try to breathe, it gets harder. Every time I think I’m getting better, I’m just... falling apart all over again.”
Sunset just moved closer, wrapping her arms around me. It wasn’t a light hug—it was firm, unyielding, like she was trying to hold all my broken pieces together. I buried my face in her shoulder, the tears coming harder now. I couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop sobbing, and Sunset just held on tighter with every shudder that wracked my body.
“I’m a monster, a fucking monster Sunset,” I gasped between sobs. “I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve to live. I’m nothing but a burden. My father… my father, he never wanted me to know the truth. He never wanted me to know what I am. And now I’ve found out… and it’s ruining me. I can’t—I can’t even breathe anymore. It’s like I’m drowning in this fucking lie, i should fucking kill myself..."
The words came out in a frantic rush, like I was trying to scream, but it all just felt like a quiet, suffocating scream in my chest.
“Stop!” she said, her voice trembling but firm. She pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes, her hands gripping my shoulders. “Don’t you dare say that. You are not a monster. Do you hear me? You are not. YOU DESERVE TO LIVE LISTEN TO ME YOU DESERVE TO LIVE”
“You think you’re a monster because you’re diffrent? Newsflash im diffrent too!” Her voice broke on the last word, and I saw her wipe at her own tears with the back of her hand. “I’ve hurt people, I thought I was beyond saving, but you showed me that wasn’t true. And now I’m telling you—it’s not true for you either,i swear to you, you will get over it i promise, i promise you are not a monster, you helped me today remember??? If you were a monster you would be with other guys trowing rocks at me not defending me from them! YOU MATTER DO YOU UNDERSTAND.”
I shook my head, but she grabbed my hands again, holding them tight.
She continued. “You think you’re weak? You’re not. You’re standing here, still fighting, still trying. That’s not weakness. That’s bravery, You are brave” She had tears flowing on her cheecks "if not you i would kill myself today! If you didnt gave me that hand i wouldnt be here talking with you! I WOULD BE BLEEDING AND NOT BREATHING!" the tears were flowing on her jaw, she was as broken as me at this moment.
The words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I felt another sob escape before I could stop it. Sunset didn’t let go. She just kept holding on. She would kill herself if not me? No that's not true. She would keep trying even withaut my help. That's what i wanted to belive, but the truth were diffrent.
“It’s okay to hurt,” she said softly, her voice breaking again. “It’s okay to cry, to scream, to feel like the world is falling apart. But don’t you dare give up on yourself. Not now. Not ever.”
I was at a loss for words. All I could do was sob more and fall into her arms once more as everything I had been suppressing for so long finally came out. Sunset, too, refused to let go. She simply remained there as we sobbed and held each other, my strength drawing her to me and her quiet strength dragging me back from the edge. We merely sat there. Weeping together over all of our suffering... I was holding her as tightly as I could, and it didn't matter if she let me go.
Her voice was soft and ragged as she whispered through the tears. "We're not alone in this. You don't have to bear this burden alone. We'll overcome it, even though it seems like too much right now. Together." After that, no one else spoke. The words seemed to linger in the air, a declaration of truth that we both needed to hear.
How long we sat there in silence is beyond me. Everything had become heavy, and I started to feel exhausted, which made it difficult for me to keep my eyes open. My body and mind were exhausted from the day's turmoil, the agony of the past, and the letting go of everything I had been suppressing for so long, and every part of me hurt. There was nothing more that we said. The quiet understanding that had developed between us made words seem unnecessary. Everything I had confessed, everything that had been said, was exposed, vulnerable, and unvarnished. That fact hung heavy in the air between us, but it was also consoling.
My breathing gradually slowed as the minutes passed. The warmth of sunset was a reassuring weight at my side. There was a quiet, almost serene silence in the room, but I couldn't even recall when I had stopped crying or when the sobs had finally stopped. Only after the storm had passed and everything had been stripped away did it feel like a fragile kind of peace.
Sunset's body was next to mine, and I could feel her breathing in time with me. She was still there, supporting me and providing me with the silent strength I was unaware I needed until now. It seemed as though she wasn't ready to let go either, as her hands remained clasped around mine.
Finally, without even recognizing it, we fell asleep. It wasn't the kind of restful sleep where everything is temporarily forgotten. However, the sleep was the result of pure exhaustion and the release of holding everything inside for too long......
Author's Note
Okey im not gonna lie, this was the most emotional chapter i wrote, its weird i shed a tear writing this, the big secret is out main character found himself someone he can share hes weak side, is this sunset really the same sunset he saw first day at school? How will he cope with his mother and father secret? what happend to his brother why hes blaming him self for his death? Thanks for reading Give your opinion on this chapter in comments please, i think its the best or second i wrote i hope you like it like i do ( psst also if you find some mistakes tell i comments i went with flow on this one)
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