The dust of Ponyville's streets kicks up and dances in the air as a lavender flash announces the arrival of her majesty, Twilight Sparkle. With a quick scan, Twilight notices how empty the streets are. Sure, it may only be 7 in the morning, but even then, there should be somepony, anypony wandering the empty paths. Unfortunately, that is simply not the case. Or that was the case until a large flock of birds flew above her in a hurry. Looking in the direction of where those birdies came from, she could see something black bearly poking out above the roofs of the houses.

"Whatever that is, it better be up for negotiations..." Twilight begged, spreading her wings and taking off towards her destination.

"Watch out below!" came Rainbow Dash's sudden warning, as her body came to a grinding halt, leaving long tracks on the ground and missing Applejack by a hair.

Offering a hoof, AJ helped her friend get back on her legs, dusting off her chest in the process, "Not a darn scratch on that thing! What was the mother feeding that thing?"

"I know, right?!" Rainbow growled, looking up at the titan that stood before them, unbothered by their attempts to 'bring it down', "How long are we even trying for by now? Surely like an hour or so?"

"Oh, you give yourself too much credit, creatures!" the iron giant scoffed, tapping the imaginary watch on his gauntlet, "It has been only 21 minutes and 37 seconds to be painfully precise"

"Painfully is what I will do to your butt, rust bucket!" shouted Rainbow as a retort to his mockery.

"You phrased that horribly" came his blunt reply.

"Ah have to agree, Rainbow, that was weak"

"Wha- You're on his side now?!" RD questioned, stunned.

"Yeah, aren't you two friends or something?" the giant looked in the farm pony's direction, "Shame on you, shame on you..."

"Now hold on here you-" began irritated Applejack, but before she could finish, something flew across the sky, casting a shadow. The new arrival did a roundabout and came to a stop above one of the buildings overlooking them all. The three fighters looked at the source of the shadow, finding none other than the ruler of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle herself, paired with a determined look.

"Twilight!" both previously present mares cheered at the sight of their friend.

"Are you alright girls?" the alicorn asked with concern, "I came as soon as I saw Pinkie's letter!"

"Pinkie's letter?" Applejack looked at Rainbow before returning their gazes at their friend, "We haven't seen her today, the whole ordeal has been going on for only an hour or so"

"What? But then how did Pinkie know the town was in trouble?" Twilight pondered, her mind calculating the possible reasons that-

"My Pinkie Sense told me so, duh!" The mare in question saved her the trouble, explaining while sitting on her back.

"Right, that Pinkie Sense of- WHA?!" Pinkie's sudden appearance frightened Twilight, knocking her off balance and causing her to land on the iron being's palm.

"Watch it, horsey"

"Oh, my bad, it's just that- WHA?!" another fright and another fall, this time plummeting the alicorn to the flat ground below.

"Ya alright, sugarcube?" Applejack asked, lifting her up.

"As fine as ever, heh..." Twilight chuckled, getting off of her rump.

"Does her highness forget she has wings specifically for avoiding such crashes?" Rainbow questioned her with a smug expression, hovering above them both.

"Huh?" the giant looked down at Twilight, his voice losing its deep tone for a second. All the mares, even Pinkie, who now stood on the ground with the rest, looked up at him. A moment of silence passed before a chuckle of relief echoed from beneath his helmet.

"What's so funny, iron... uh... uuuuhhh..." no witty insult came to Rainbow's head.

"O-hohohoho..." the giant's chuckle died down as he wiped the invisible tear from where his eye presumably was, "I'll give you this one prism-mane, you actually made a good joke! Oh..."

"What joke?" RD raised a eyebrow before shaking off her confusion and posing proudly, "I mean- Of course, I make only good jokes!"

"You know, the one where you said that thing-" he pointed at Twilight, "-was your royalty!"

"But... she IS our princess..." Applejack joined in, "Today's the anniversary of her coronation at that"

"No, no, no, no," he protested, "A royalty? Of that size? There is NO way that's possible"

"Excuse me?" Twilight narrowed her eyes at him, feeling insulted.

"Last time I checked, or fought for that matter, your princesses were twice your height and presented themselves much more gracefully"

"Celestia and Luna?!" the gathered mares yelled in unison.

"Yeah! Cake-butt and the... other one... yeah" he waved his gauntlet dismissively.

"You knew them- No wait, you FOUGHT them?!" it was hard to tell if Twilight's yell came from a place of anger of genuine interest given the topic.

"Yeah? What about it?"

"What do you mean 'what about it'?! I've studied Celestia's life for MY whole life and I've never even heard as much as a hint of something like you!" Twilight stated with a raised tone to further emphasize her point.

"WHAT?!" the giant shouted, clearly offended, "Not even a mention of me?! I didn't make Equestria a barren wasteland just to be omitted from the history books!"

"You. Did. WHAT?!"

"Alright ya two," Applejack interrupted their loud exchange, "how about we actually get somethin figured out without losin our eardrums in the process?"

"Right..." both the alicorn and the iron giant agreed, nodding in sync.

After the shouting ceased, all the present ponies sat across from the giant (whose frame was a tight fit in between Ponyville's houses), looking at him with a range of emotions. Twilight was bursting with equal levels of anticipation and worry, Applejack's frown sure looked like an excuse to throw hooves at the first sign of things going south, Rainbow had her smug smirk back in full swing and Pinkie... where's Pinkie?

"Ahem!" Twilight cleared her throat, "My name is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and the current ruler of Equestria!" she introduced herself with a wide smile.

"I'm still not buying it" the giant deadpanned.

"Why not?" the alicorn questioned.

"You're just so... not... princess...ish?" there was a pause before he groaned, "I see that you're an alicorn and all but come on! Where's your style? Where did that air or royalty and importance go? Bah, now I'm glad I lost to Celestia of all creatures, because losing to you? That would be... Eugh" he finished his sentence with a visible shiver.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't insult me every chance you got?" Twilight pleaded, her previous excitement replaced with familiar irritation towards the being.

"Um, before we go on, ya got any name or somethin?" asked Applejack.

"You don't know that either- Oh, for Master's sake!" the being roared, "Rox? Rox D. Struction? No? Nothing?!"

The three mares looked at each other, before sheepishly shaking their heads. Rox slumped, his head tiling backwards with an audible groan of disappointment. At that point, a few brave (or stupid) citizens of Ponyville began poking their heads out of their houses. Seeing the horrible armored being, that previously terrorized every food stool that it encountered, on its knees in front of their princess gave them a hunch that the problem was solved.

"And what are you all LOOKING AT?" Rox's stern question brought them out of their delusion as the doors slammed shut once again, leaving the streets empty once more.

"Okay so... Rox, right?" Twilight waited for the giant to nod in agreement before continuing, "As the current ruler of this land, I must ensure the safety of my subjects, and therefore I require you to answer my question honestly. Is that understood?"

"Uh-huh, get on with it" the iron giant nonschalantly agreed.

"As you've stated previously that you brought destruction to Equestria for reasons not yet known to be, do you promise to hold off your destructive urges for the sake of more peaceful negotiations?" she asked with a serious but hopeful expression.

"No"

"I knew you could be reasoned with- huh?"

"I'm wagering war" Rox added.

"What?" Twilight looked perplexed, "WHAT?"

"A war" another short answer.

"A w-war?!" Twilight's pupils shrank to mere dots, "What do you mean war?!"

"It means that I'm going against your whole nation" he replied calmly, "And you know why that is? It's because I was turned to stone. Being a statue is hands, claws and hooves down the worst experience I've had in millennia!"

"Wait, other creatures are conscious while trapped in stone? I thought only Discord could-"

"Oh, it was bucking HORRIBLE!" Rox interrupted Twilight, "All being trapped in stone does is take away your bodily needs, that's all! All my bucking senses were still intact, for Master's sake!"

"What Master are-"

"It was like watching the most boring nature documentary of all time!" his rant continued, "Only it was worse because I could feel every damn thing brushing past me, all my efforts slowly being rebuilt into a better, more thriving civilization!"

"How is-"

"And you know what's the worst part of seeing a civilization develop in front of your very eyes?" he didn't wait for any of them to answer, "That those creatures develop their societies, then their norms, then their cultures and by the end of it all... their own culinary subculture!"

"H-"

"AND I COULD NOT TASTE ANY OF IT!" he finished, panting in anger.

There was a pause where none of the three present Element Bearers said anything. After a moment, Twilight connected what little dots there were for her to connect, "So... you're declaring war on us because you couldn't... eat?"

"Oh, my dear princess... you misunderstood me" Rox reached his hand out and stroked her mane with his claw, "I'm not declaring war on you, you stupid, tiny equines..." he rose to his full height, spreading out his arms, "I'm declaring a war against every restaurant, food-chain, food stall and every grandma that has ever cooked on this land!"

"Y-you mean-"

"Food of Equestria, hear my voice!" Rox's voice carried itself through the air, cutting through every creature's ears, "I, Rox D. Struction, will devour you whole!"

Rox let out a thundering laugh, the sky darkening at his will, painting a visage of an impending turbulances, barely a year after Equestria was thought to finally be at peace. While Rainbow and AJ were wrapping their heads around the sudden changes to the skies, Twilight's eye twitched, still locked upon the cackling giant of iron.

"Applejack?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"I hate being a royalty"

"Understandable, sugarcube"

Author's Note

And that about wraps up the introduction. Now, I will answer some questions nobody asked for! Hurray!

So, the next chapter (which will release during the weekend I predict) will begin the short food crusade arc. After that, even more less serious stuff, what did you think?
Another thing, I did put Celestia and Luna as characters in the story's about page and unlike Spike (who I did not mention as an apperance ) because those two will appear again given their ties to Rox.
Yeah, that's about all!

Once again, thank you for reading, see you again (hopefully) soon!