Chaos Inverted

Discord didn’t want to be in his own mind right now. He wanted a distraction, a diversion, a new situation to throw his heart and soul into. Hell, he would even take another group of mysterious people entering his life who spout more nonsense on the power of magic and all that junk.

But he was alone with his thoughts today. In a way, all of his thoughts were on the same subject: Fluttershy. The part he was struggling with the most was the fact he loves her. Deeply. Like a lovestruck fool.

It would be one thing if he just had a crush. No, it was never that simple. When Discord fell for someone, he fell hard. It’s been that way ever since he read pulp sci-fi and fantasy novels growing up, and he imagined himself as the brave knight falling in love with the beautiful princess.

It felt like two sides of his brain were in constant battle: The hopeless romantic and the anxious data cruncher. Every time he had a new crush, both sides would fight for dominance in his mind. The battle could last for hours or days, and in the end, neither side would fully win and just left him tired and confused.

It was only 11:30 AM on a regular workday. An aura of exhaustion hung around Discord’s cubicle like a heavy blanket. The numbers on his computer screen ceased to make sense anymore. He sighed; maybe he should say he’s sick and head home early. He could tell he wouldn’t be able to focus for the rest of the day. After confirming his early departure through email, he threw on his jacket and headed out.

As much as he wanted to head home and sleep for the rest of the day, he knew he should squeeze in a small chore. He was out of his food essentials, so he decided to hit a nearby convenience store. As he grabbed his usual purchases of cereal, boxed dinners, and other random items, his brain tried for the millionth time to put together his feelings for Fluttershy.

There was no way he could confess his feelings, that’s for sure. That was one conclusion both his logic and romantic brain agreed with. There was no way an alluring, chaotic god like Fluttershy who had been alive for over a thousand years would be interested in a nobody like him. That just leaves where he goes from there. He could still be her friend. He enjoyed her company. But what if his unspoken feelings boil up eventually and destroy everything? Was he willing to risk that? Was he doomed to destroy all of his relationships?

Discord paid for his items at the self-checkout and continued his pondering. Sure, he didn’t destroy all of his relationships. He still got a holiday card from Smooze once in a while. He was on good terms with his mother before she died. He even talked to Starlight a bit more at work after that confrontation at the pub. They couldn’t talk much about magic stuff in the office, but the previous tension that was there was gone now. Discord found she was easier to talk to than he predicted (Trixie from HR was still her usual self). It was just his love life that seemed to falter the most.

God, those were always a mess. First, there was his high school crush Cosmos. She was in a punk rock band and moved way too loose and fast for Discord’s liking. They were together and broke up in a blink of an eye.

Then there was Lucky Clover in college. He was another outcast in his requisite classes. That relationship was looser and more free-spirited. It lasted a few months before they both mutually agreed it wasn’t working out and drifted apart.

Then there was...Her. Discord shuddered just thinking about it. It ended over a year ago, but the pain from that breakup still sat heavily on his heart.

He picked up his pace to the car with his groceries. It wouldn’t have surprised him if he was worried that same soul-crushing feeling would happen with Fluttershy. He should be fine, though. If he kept his feelings in check, he didn’t need to worry about this friendship ending like-

“Discord! Is that you?”

Speak of the lipstick-wearing devil.

There was no way that was her. There was no way the Gods were that cruel and sadistic. Discord cautiously turned his head to confirm who was behind him.

The pale blue, green, purple, and pink swirling hair he was used to seeing was tied up in a loose ponytail. She was wearing a new tan overcoat to fight the crisp Fall air. Her magenta eyes framed by delicate eyelashes looked the same as he remembered. And she looked...happy to see him.

Somehow, just thinking about Celestia, his ex-girlfriend of two years and five months, summoned her presence to the same sidewalk he was standing on.

The only noise Discord could manage to pass off his lips was a questioning, “Wuh?”

The woman gleamed. “Hey! I feel like it’s been ages! How are you?”

Discord’s brain was basically fried at this point. Still, he needed to exchange formalities. He couldn’t let her know he was still affected. “Guh-good, good,” he said with as must confidence as he could dig out of him. This couldn’t have been a coincidence, right? He tried to hide his confusion (and tiny bit of fear) as he asked, “What you are doing here?”

“I’m in town meeting a client,” she said with her sweet, velvety voice. Just hearing it again stirred complex emotions in Discord’s gut. She laughed to herself and went on to say, “Definitely don’t miss the traffic getting into the city. But I’m so glad I caught you! Are you free? We can grab something to eat and catch up!”

Discord wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole than deal with this. He could make up an excuse to run away, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to pull it off in a convincing way. Or worse, she would see through the pathetic excuse as him still being torn apart from the breakup (he still was, but she didn’t need to hold that fact over him).

He faced magical beings countless of times at this point. Having a polite conversation with an ex should be simple compared to that (it wasn’t). He tightened his grip on his bag of groceries and mumbled, “Sure...”

=================

After Discord dropped off his groceries at his car, Celestia picked a nearby bakery to have their lunch. Discord wasn’t too surprised with this choice; she always had a giant sweet tooth. Thankfully, the bakery also served a small selection of hot sandwiches and drinks for a more balanced meal. While Discord grabbed a table with his grilled cheese and chai latte, Celestia ordered herself an egg salad sandwich and an iced frappe along with two different small cakes.

“Man, I do miss the food variety here in the city,” Celestia commented while settling into her chair. “There’s not much in my town except a few small shops and the library.”

Discord nearly forgotten the reason why he barely saw her anymore. She moved to a small town in the countryside. He couldn’t remember the full name, something like Stoneyville. She swore up and down she made the move for her job prospects and her own well-being, but it wouldn’t have surprised him if she needed a fresh start away from him.

“Are you enjoying the town since you moved there?” Discord knew it was best to stick to simple questions and comments. That should hopefully kill enough time to finish this lunch without any causalities.

Celestia nodded as she dug into her sandwich. “I am,” she said between bites. “I was always a city girl but moving there was the right change of pace for me.”

“Yeah...” Discord mumbled into his drink. Change of pace away from him, he imagined...

“So, how about you? Any big changes in your life?”

Discord almost did a comedic spit take. No way he was going to mention the hidden world of magic and wonder. He managed to choke it down before placing his drink down and sputtering out, “M-me? Oh, no, no, the same, mostly. Still in my current position...”

Celestia grinned and leaned into the table. “You always enjoyed crunching numbers, I’m not too surprised. Hopefully that company is still keeping you motivated.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Discord tried to concentrate on Celestia going into detail about her new freelancing job, but his mind was time traveling to the past.

It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. He met Celestia at work and considered her another coworker at best. She worked with individual clients while Discord worked with businesses, so their paths didn’t intersect that much. It was only through a few chats in hallways and during lunch breaks that they started to get along. She was sweet and kind and had a godly glow about her, and Discord was absolutely smitten.

The relationship moved at a decent pace after that. They talked, they went on dates, and they spent all their time together. They even moved to the same apartment after a year together. It was all going so well. At least on Discord’s end.

Then, it just ended. Just like that. Celestia pulled him aside one night and explained she didn’t feel like they were fully connecting. She did like him and care for him, she explained, but she did not think she was in love in him in the same way.

Of course, she did this after Discord bought an engagement ring and was going to propose the following week.

He was a fool. An absolute, blubbering fool that was so caught up in the idea of a romantic partner he totally missed the blaring signs of their relationship falling apart.

It took a few months of introspection, but Discord realized (and eventually admitted to himself) she was right. They spent time together, but he rarely shared his interests or opinions. He would nod along to anything she would say and agree to her choices and opinions. He played the part of an attentive partner but never played himself. Maybe she sensed that. Maybe she wanted something more. Either way, she was pulling away and he was too dense to see it.

Now here she was, conversing with him as if nothing was wrong anymore. What was he doing here? He should leave. He’s just a burden to her now. To anyone, really. Why won’t he make up an excuse and leave? Why, why, why? How can she be so okay with this? Can’t she see how torn apart Discord was? Surely, she moved on to be with someone else, that must be it.

In the background of Discord’s mental spiral, Celestia continued to talk. “Working from home is a nice touch, but finding the right balance of work and time off was tough for the first year. I had to invest in-”

“Are you seeing someone?”

Discord wasn’t too shocked about what he said, but he was still a bit embarrassed on how blunt it came out. Celestia’s face morphed into a confused expression to the statement as well. He tried to save whatever social grace he could manage. “I-I mean, are you doing okay? And maybe you’re seeing someone new, not that I’m implying anything. I was just curious, I swear.”

With that, Celestia went back to her radiant smile and said, “Not right now, but I’m in no rush. I’m glad to take time to figure myself out, you know?”

Discord weakly nodded as if to agree. ‘Of course she wasn’t with someone new,’ he reprimanded to himself. ‘You idiot, you made things ten times worse now. Why can’t you just move on like a regular person? Stop getting caught up on the what-ifs and just accept you’re never going to-’

Celestia cut through his internal monologue by saying, “What about you? Are you seeing someone?”

Discord gaped a bit at that. He raised his sandwich to finally eat it. “No, no. Nothing like that.”

“Really? I’m surprised.”

The sandwich was dropped just as fast. “Why?” he asked.

Celestia tilted her head as she tried to figure out the right words. “I don’t know,” she said after much deliberation. “You just seem...different somehow. I figured it’s because you found someone who you got along with better.”

“Oh,” Discord said with a sinking realization. “I mean, kinda. I do have...a new friend.”

Her eyes beamed as she clapped her hands together. “That’s great!” she said with no false exaggeration. She was always genuine about her feelings. That was one of the many things Discord found so appealing about her.

She avoided eye contact as she lowered her hands to the table. She examined her nails as she said, “I kind of felt worried for you when I left town. You always hid away from the world.” She looked up, looking relieved. “I’m so happy you’re reaching out and making friends!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I know things are still a little...awkward, but I’m glad you agreed to this lunch. I wanted to make sure you were okay. And you are. This is the most I’ve seen you really express yourself.”

Discord didn’t know what to say. He knew he tended to isolate himself, but he figured no one really noticed that. People were too busy with their own lives to pay attention to someone like him. Has he really changed since Celestia last seen him? He didn’t feel that much different; he was still the scared, awkward man he had always been.

He managed to give off a noncommittal shrug and said, “I-I didn’t realize I changed that much.”

Celestia must have sensed his unease as she leaned back into her chair to give him space. “Well, I’m hoping for the better,” she said softly.

Discord wasn’t sure how to respond to that when he felt something weird in his hand. He was still a bit cold from outside, so he still had his jacket on. He put both of his hands in his pockets earlier to hide his nervous fidgeting. He pulled out his right hand to inspect the weird texture.

There, crumbled up in his palm, was the polka-dotted flower Fluttershy gave him on their first night out together. He almost completely forgotten about it. It still had soft petals to the touch and didn’t look dried out or dead. Discord wouldn’t be surprised if the magic from its creation kept it thriving all this time.

A warm smile formed on Discord’s face without him realizing it. “Yeah, it is better,” he answered back to Celestia. He continued to stare at the little flower as he said with no hesitation, “My friend, she really is something. Helped me see so many new things and figure out some parts of myself. I’m-” He put the flower away in his pocket again and stared at Celestia sincerely. “-really glad to have her in my life.”

Instead of the expected jealousy or apathy to his revelation, Celestia was beaming with pride. “I’m glad for you, too! Does she like dessert? You should grab one of the cakes here to share.”

Oh, no. She was reading more into it than he planned on. Discord stammered back, “Oh, it’s not like-I mean, she probably-”

“Hey there, buster!”

A pair of arms closed around Discord without warning. That voice, it couldn’t be. In the corner of his vision was the light pink hair cascading on his shoulder. Discord gulped and looked down at the arms wrapped around him. Thankfully, they looked human in nature. She must be disguised right now, thank goodness.

The human-looking Fluttershy hugged Discord tighter and said in his ear, “Didn’t think I’d catch ya here! And who is your friend over there?”

“Wuhhhh,” was all Discord could manage to spit out. What is with today? Is this street cursed to spawn the most unexpected people in Discord’s life? Celestia didn’t seemed bothered at all as she gave one of her usual radiant smiles. “Oh, hello! My name is Celestia. Nice to meet you! I think we were just talking about you.”

“Oh, reallllly?” Fluttershy drawled out as she released Discord from her grasp. She moved to stand between the two at the table. She was dressed for the weather with a knitted hoodie, dark jeans, and padded boots. She stared down at both of them with a civil smile, but that smile felt like it was hiding something more foreboding.

Discord wasn’t sure if she was pissed at him or not. She shouldn’t be, him and Celestia were just friends, and he didn’t spill any magical secrets, but her popping up here was not a good sign.

Celestia laughed. “All good things, I assure you,” she said with a wave.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Fluttershy said with her teasing tone. “Discord here would never say anything bad behind my back, right?”

“R-right,” Discord mumbled back. Best to get introductions over with and hopefully escape this social hell. “Celestia, this is...” Crap, he didn’t know if he should give her real name. Isn’t she still being hunted?

“Name’s Fluttershy,” she finished the statement with no hesitancy. Discord breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t want to endanger her more if possible. Fluttershy looked back at Celestia and remarked, “Are you grabbing some food and gossip?”

Celestia nodded. “We’re just catching up. You’re free to join us!”

“Gladly!” Fluttershy pulled a nearby chair close to her without touching it (thankfully, no one was looking in her direction), and she jammed her seat at the table meant for two.

‘God, someone just bury me where I stand,’ Discord thought as he tried hide his face from the two women.

“So, did you guys meet at work?” Celestia prompted.

“Nah, you wouldn’t catch me dead at his boring job,” Fluttershy said with a light scoff. “We met while he was stargazing.”

“Stargazing?” Celestia looked over to Discord. “I didn’t know you were into that.”

“It’s a recent hobby,” he said while staring intently at the table. He was tempted to add, “because of you,” but he knew that would just open up more problems for him to answer.

Fluttershy nodded along and entwined a hand around his closest arm. “Yeah, we became two peas in a pod after that. Now you have to tell me how you know Discord.”

“Oh, nothing big,” Celestia said calmly while sipping her drink. “We used to work together and then we dat-”

“How is your sister Luna by the way?” Discord said a bit too loudly. He knew he was as subtle as a train wreck, but he needed to steer this conversation away from past romances.

Fluttershy glared back and scolded him. “Discord, it’s rude to interrupt.”

“I just wanted to ask before I forgot.”

Celestia either didn’t sense the tension or chose to ignore it. “She’s good, thanks for asking,” she said in her sweet voice. “She graduated with her Master’s last year and is now working in social care. I’m so proud of her.”

“I’m sure you are,” Fluttershy said with a bored sigh. “Now, you were saying something earlier?”

Celestia was about to continue, but she saw Discord signal with his pleading face and hand gestures to not go on. Celestia hid a small giggle and finally said, “It’s nothing. By the way, would you like anything to eat?”

“I’m good. Everything here is too sweet and orderly for my liking.” Fluttershy leaned closer to Celestia with a devious grin on her face. “I’m sure you and Discord go way back if you worked together. Care to share any embarrassing details?”

Celestia laughed again. “I’m tempted, but I’m sure he’ll tell you in his own time.”

Fluttershy started scratching at the table. Discord noticed the fingernails on her right hand were sharper than what was expected on a normal hand. She left a long indent on the wooden table with no effort. “You’d be amazed what he hasn’t told me yet...” she said in a drawn-out tone.

Discord stood up abruptly. “Wow, look at the time!” He pulled out his phone to emphasize his sentence. “I’m needed at a meeting. Darn.”

Celestia looked at him quizzically. “Really? I thought you were off today.”

“I am, but they do want me to join in a conference call for this meeting today. It was the only time they could schedule it. What can you do?” If there was one nice thing about his humdrum white-collar job, it was how everything could be blamed on a meeting.

He turned to Fluttershy. “Would you like me to take you home? My car isn’t too far from here.”

Fluttershy tried to stare him down at his obvious excuse, but she relented. “Sure,” she said while standing back up. She looked over to Celestia as she said, “It was nice to meet you, madam.” With that, she took off to the exit without looking back.

“Nice to meet you, too!” Celestia still exclaimed despite Fluttershy’s quick getaway. She began to pack her things but paused to gaze in Discord’s direction. “And it was great catching up. Thanks for agreeing to this.”

“Of course,” Discord said with true sincerity. He added, “Thanks, for...the talking.” He didn’t know a proper way to say it was nice to know she was doing well without him, but that seemed to say it all. He actually meant it when he said, “Let’s try to meet up again sometime.”

Celestia gave off one more genuine grin. “I’d like that.”

=================

Fluttershy didn’t get too far from the bakery. She was hiding in a nearby alleyway, her arms wrapped around herself. Her breathing was shaky at best, and her fingertips trembled as though she were freezing.

Discord soon caught up to her and noticed her distressed state. He approached her carefully and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a bit tired,” she said while taking steadying breaths. “Used a bit too much chaos magic to transport here.” She looked at her (mostly) normal human hands and looked sullen. She mumbled to herself, “What I wouldn’t give to have my old power scale...”

Discord audibly gulped. “What do you mean by that?” he said with added concern. “Are you getting weaker?”

Fluttershy finally looked up at Discord and saw his face filled with unease. She took one more controlling breath and stated, “It’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine, really.” She stood up straighter and leered at Discord. “I’m more concerned with who you were talking to.”

“What? Celestia?” Discord stepped back and tried to play it off as chill as possible. Too bad he was a horrible actor. “She an old friend, that’s all.”

“An old friend, right,” Fluttershy said blowing her hair away from her eyes. “Please. I could feel the past tension between you two from across the street.”

Discord scoffed at that. He felt like he handled the meetup just fine. It definitely went better than the thousand scenarios he pictured at night. Also, why did he care if she knew his past relationships? Might as well rip off the band aid while he had the guts. He grumbled at bit as he said, “Fine, she was an old girlfriend. Why do you care?”

“I don’t!”

Now it was Discord’s turn to be doubtful. “Really?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “You popped up in the city for no reason?”

Fluttershy pouted a bit and tried to save face. “Hey, that was a total coincidence! I was gonna surprise you on your lunch break.”

Discord should have been flattered, but his concern for her safety overpowered that feeling. He gawked, “Why would you do that? You’re being hunted down all the time!”

“So what? I’m not going to hide away every day! I need variety in my life, you know that! Also-” Fluttershy paused and looked down at her boots. “-I wanted to see you.”

Now his feeling of concern was being replaced with this unexpected flattery. He blushed a bit when he said, “You did?”

Fluttershy seemed hesitant to elaborate, but she managed to say, “It’s been a week, and I was getting antsy. I know we can text, but it’s not the same thing.” Discord remembered he was actually pretty busy this past week with work and had to delay in seeing her in person. He did past that info along, and she didn’t seem bothered by it from his perspective. He didn’t realize it affected her that much. She always had a facade of a strong, confident person who didn’t anyone specific in her life.

She scrapped at the ground as she spat, “But apparently you don’t need me here, do ya? Not when you can hang out with whoever is nearby.”

Aghast, Discord bit back with, “Why wouldn’t I? I do have other friends, believe it or not.”

“You sure don’t act like it, Mr. Hide-In-The-Woods-All-The-Time.”

Discord twitched a bit at that but took a calming breath. She was obviously acting out, and he needed to handle it graciously. “I am trying to be more open to situations and actually interact with people.” He waited until Fluttershy looked in his direction to add, “You helped me realize that.”

This statement caught Fluttershy off guard. “I did?”

“Yeah.” Discord knew this was dangerous territory to share with her. He wanted to gush all of his feelings for her, but he knew that would just scare her away. He settled with, “Of course. I mean, I can’t hide away all the time either. Ever since I met you, you helped me realize what I want in life a bit more.”

He kept staring at Fluttershy. She kept avoiding his gaze and scratched at the alley wall with her half-claw hand. This wasn’t like her. He leaned closer. “Are you...worried about something?”

This made Fluttershy laugh. It wasn’t her sweet, airy laugh though. It was filled with venom and contempt. “What, me?” she scoffed. “A chaotic being like me? Worried? As if.”

Discord crossed his arms. Getting her to confess to anything felt like pulling teeth sometimes. “Remember, we’re trying to be honest with each other,” he reprimanded. “I want to help, but you need to tell me what’s wrong.”

Fluttershy wanted to dismiss him again, but she was visibly tired, and her defenses (both physical and mental) were down. Her eyes shifted away from Discord once again as she said, “I just-I mean-” She gave a frustrated cry and said with a defeated look, “I just don’t want you forgetting about me.”

Discord was perplexed. “Why would I?”

“You said it yourself. You’ve been more open to other people lately,” she said while walking away to create some space. She moved deeper into the alley as she continued, “Other people see that, and then you make new friends and reconnect with old ones. You won’t need me anymore.”

She turned back to finally meet Discord’s gaze. He barely heard her when she whispered, “Everyone moves on. Why wouldn’t you?”

The weight of her words set heavily on Discord’s mind. There was obvious pain and previous experience from that, and he felt like he was still at the surface of it. Still, it was driving Fluttershy to be both wary and possessive of her relationships. He couldn’t imagine feeling abandoned at every turn. At least with his fuck ups, he knew was at fault.

Fluttershy turned away from him, probably preparing a speech to leave this downer of a conversation. Discord needed to be brave again. For her sake.

“My turn to be honest,” he said as he carefully stepped closer to her. “I would never want to stop being your friend. You mean...so much to me, I don’t know if I can fully put it into words. However, in order for this friendship to work, you need to trust me. Like I trust you. Please.”

The internal walls Fluttershy put up were crumbling bit by bit. She sighed and nodded. “I know,” she said with dejection. “I’m just-well, when you’ve been around for a couple thousand years, relationships of all kinds come and go so quickly. But this...this is nice. One of the nicest ones I’ve had in a long time.”

She grabbed Discord’s hand when she said this. The nails on her claw hand have reduced to regular dull shape. She rubbed the top of his hand as she said, “I don’t want to mess this up.”

Discord didn’t even bother to hide his blush this time. He let the moment happen and tried to be there for her. “You are not messing this up. I promise,” he assured her.

Fluttershy smirked at that and finally let go of his hand. “I doubt that. I am sorry for ruining your lunch, by the way.”

Discord smirked back. “Thank you. And I am sorry if I made you feel like you’re being forgotten.”

“You’re fine,” she said with noticeable ease. She looked calm and collected now, and the previous tension in the air seemed to dissipate.

Discord tilted his head toward the opening of the alleyway. “Do you want to head back to my house? I called off for the rest of today.”

“Sounds good to me, buster,” she said in her usual sassy tone. They both headed off to Discord’s car and chatted about what they could do once they got to his house. They were back on their familiar friendship routine. For now.