Flash Sentry's Adventures in Harem Life
Rejection is a Cruel Mistress
‘Have you ever had a moment in your life where you felt like you were destined to fail at something? Like no matter how hard you tried, it seemed destiny would always be against you in that certain goal? If so, then don’t worry too much about it. Because I know exactly how that feels.
My name is Flash Sentry. When I was a baby, my parents died in a rather bad car accident. Thankfully, though, I was taken in by an eccentric zillionaire and his wife, who were also good friends of my folks. They could never have children of their own, and they couldn’t bear the idea of me being sent to an orphanage or put in Foster Care. So they decided to adopt me, and raised me as if I were their own child. Many would see the two as a pair of odd-balls, given their unusual hobbies or quirks. But they’re genuinely nice people, and the best adopted parents any child could ever dream of having. But let’s not stray from the topic of this story.
Ever since I was little, I had always wanted to experience the feeling of finding true love; the kind my adopted parents shared for each other. So every time I met a girl I really really liked, I would try asking her out. Unfortunately for me, every girl I asked out would always reject me. And for the life of me, I could never understand why they weren’t interested. Was I too boring for them? Was it because some of them just didn’t like guys?
After my twenty-first rejection, I was this close to giving up, and throwing in the towel. Little did I realize, however, what fate had in store for me…’
It was a beautiful summer afternoon in the city of Canterlot. People were going about their lives enjoying the weather, playing at the beach, enjoying some ice cream, or even chasing each other with water balloons. Some delinquents even opened fire hydrants so as to fill the streets with water just for fun. This would often make their parents wait anxiously for the time school would be back in session.
Over at the local park, however, there was a teenaged-boy who had something else on his mind other than the typical summertime chaos. He had two-toned blue hair shaped to the style of a typical rocker, and sapphire eyes. He wore a dark gray jacket with a white shirt underneath, blue jeans, and black shoes with white stripes. On his shirt was a blue shield with a lightning bolt across it. This was none other than Flash Sentry. And at this moment, he was nervously glancing left and right as if he was expecting someone to show up. At last, he spotted a girl about his age in the distance and became excited.
“Here she comes…” Flash told himself. He smoothed his jacket out, and tried to calm himself down. “Alright, Flash. This is your shot. Don’t blow it like you did with all the others…”
The girl in question had light purple eyes, and purple hair with a few teal streaks. Her outfit was a dark velvet jacket, a light purple skirt, and dark lavender boots. She also wore purple pants that had tears in the leg sections for some reason. Her shirt had a glimmering purple and pink star symbol on it, and she wore a purple beanie on her head. When she saw Flash, she gave a friendly wave.
“Hey, Flash,” she greeted cheerfully.
“H-Hey, Starlight,” Flash greeted nervously. “So glad you could make it.”
“Your text said you had something important to tell me,” said Starlight. She had a look of concern on her face. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” insisted Flash, trying to stay calm. “It’s just… I wanted to tell you something for quite a while now. And…” he kicked the ground bashfully. “I thought now was as good a time as any to let it out.”
“Well what is it, Flash?” Starlight asked curiously. “You can go ahead and tell me anything.”
Flash’s heart was racing. He had practiced this moment in his head for a while, but now the idea of actually going through with it made him uneasy. But he knew he had to do it. He had to let it out and tell Starlight how he felt about her. Blushing, Flash took a deep breath, and began.
“Starlight Glimmer,” he began, “I’ve admired you for a while now. You’re smart, talented, beautiful, and you make the most adorable neutral face whenever you deal with uncomfortable confrontations.” He could think back and remember Starlight sipping on a mug of cocoa while said neutral face was plastered on her, and caused him to chuckle a bit before getting back to business. “I really, really like you, Starlight. And I was hoping you’d… “his face blushed even harder, and he shut his eyes as he pushed himself to blurt the rest of his speech out “...please go out with me!”
An awkward silence filled the air. After about a minute or two, Flash slowly opened his eyes and looked up to see Starlight with a hand covering her mouth.
“Flash…” she murmured slightly. “I… I never knew you felt this way about me. I admire you too. You’re sweet, cheerful, straightforward, and you treat everyone with kindness without even thinking of your own gain. You’re a really awesome guy, Flash. And that’s why I also like you...”
Flash smiled hopefully. Was this it? Had he finally landed his chance at true love?
“…but my heart belongs to someone else!” Starlight blurted out.
“OH COME ON!!!” Flash was so taken aback by this rejection that in his inner outburst, he briefly turned into a chibi. Upon regaining his normal form, he couldn’t help but introduce his forehead to the nearest wall multiple times!
“Whoa, take it easy!” cried Starlight, trying to calm the crazed boy down. But alas, her words fell upon deaf ears.
“Every! Time!” Flash cried with each head slam. “Every! Single! TIME!” The last slam was enough to knock Flash to the ground. His eyes spun, and a very goofy expression plastered his face as the sound of a cuckoo clock echoed around him before he passed out.
By the time Flash had regained consciousness, Starlight had helped him to a park bench, and was applying an ice pack to his head.
“Gee, I know folks don’t like being rejected,” she insisted, “but I didn’t think you’d take it that bad.”
“It’s not your fault,” Flash sighed. “It’s just that… I’ve already been rejected about twenty times already.”
“Twenty?!” Starlight gawked. She didn’t know whether to be impressed with Flash’s determination to keep going, or feel bad that he was constantly being shot down.
“I was hoping that fate would finally smile on me this time,” Flash insisted. “That after so many rejections, I would at last find true love, and live a life of happiness and bliss.” His happy moment faded as he frowned. “But I guess not…”
“Well if it’s any consolation,” Starlight comforted, “most people I know usually give up after about two or three rejections. You, on the other hand, have the guts to get back up and keep trying each time you fail. All that patience and persistence is bound to pay off sooner or later.”
“Thanks…” Not wanting to be a sore loser, though, Flash decided to change the subject. “So who’s the lucky one that won you over?”
“Sunburst.”
“Sunburst?” Flash blinked. “You mean your childhood best friend? That guy in the Astrology Club who wears that cape almost everywhere he goes?”
“Yeah,” Starlight blushed a tad as she twirled her hair. “I’ve had a crush on him ever since we were little, but I was always too bashful to tell him how I truly felt. But after seeing you work up the courage to ask me out, I’ve decided to do the same and ask him out before someone else beats me to it.”
With that, Starlight took out her cellphone, and after much hesitation, dialed Sunburst’s number. After dialing, she gazed hopefully at her phone, sweating with anticipation. At long last, someone picked up!
“Hello?”
“Hey, Sunburst.” Starlight greeted, “It’s me.”
“Starlight? Well this is a surprise. What’s up?”
“Sorry to spring this on you all of a sudden,” Starlight apologized, “But there’s something I’ve been wanting to say for a very long time.”
“Well what is it?”
Starlight looked to Flash for a second, gathered her courage, then spoke up again.
“I…I love you, Sunburst!” she confessed. “I love all the times we spent together when we were little, and I love how smart you are, and how adorable you look when you huddle under your cape like a blanket!” she gushed as that particular memory flooded her mind. “I’m sorry if this came off too sudden, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. Please go out with me!”
There was another awkward silence. Starlight was rather fearful that Sunburst was so startled he’d hung up. At long last, though…
“W-W-Wow… Starlight, I… I didn’t know you felt that way. Truth be told, I… I love you too!”
Starlight felt her heart leap. “You do?!” she gasped.
“Yeah. I never said anything sooner because I was too shy. If you’d like, though, we could go out for ice cream later.”
“I’d love that!” Starlight beamed. “See you soon, Sunburst. Bye.”
“Bye bye.”
With that, Starlight hung up, and let loose a loud and excited scream, like a fangirl who’d just gotten to talk to a famous star.
“He’s in love with me too!” she squealed, hugging the phone to her chest. “And he wants to meet up for ice cream later!”
“Congratulations!” Flash complimented. While he was still sore he got rejected, he was still glad to see Starlight happy.
“Sorry again if you and I couldn’t work out,” Starlight apologized. “But I hope we can still be friends.”
“Of course we can,” sighed Flash. This was perhaps the routine response he had to each girl who rejected him.
“Great,” Starlight beamed. “Well I’d best get going. Can’t keep Sunburst waiting. See you later.” With that, she took off, waving. Flash waved back until she was gone, then slumped back to his seat, and buried his face in his hands.
“What I wouldn’t give for a flying ice cream truck to fall from the sky, and run me down right now,” he mumbled unhappily.
After managing to settle himself, Flash decided to drown his woes at the local ice cream parlor. Fortunately, he wasn’t alone. Joining him were four teenage boys his age. The first had long green hair while wearing a brown hat on his head, and had light green colored eyes. He was wearing a brown vest over a red T-shirt, blue jeans and light brown shoes. He also had a button pin that had a recycling symbol on it. This was Sandalwood, an Eco-Kid in Flash’s class. The second boy had darker purple hair, wore black glasses, a long sleeved yellow shirt over a green turtle neck, and gray pants with white suspenders. His name was Micro Chips, the tech geek of the group.
The other two boys were members of Flash’s band - Flash Drive. The drummer, Brawly Beats, had sky blue hair and eyes, wore an orange shirt with a red drum pin on it, as well as a pair of blue pants. And fellow guitar player, Bass Key, commonly nicknamed ‘Ringo’ due to looking strikingly similar to that famous drummer from The Beatles, had black hair with blue sunglasses, wore a red shirt with a white vest, and black pants.
“So Starlight rejected you too, huh?” Brawly Beats asked.
“Yup,” said Flash plainly. “Though she’s getting along great with Sunburst over there.” He gestured over to another table where Starlight was enjoying ice cream with another boy, presumably Sunburst. He had orange hair and sky blue eyes. He wore light blue glasses, a dark blue sweater over a light blue collared shirt, dark gray pants, and orange tennis shoes with white shoe laces. Another thing that set him apart was the fact that he also wore a blue cape on his back like a wizard.
“So what’s that set your rejection streak at now, mate?” asked Bass Key in a Liverpudlian Accent.
“After Starlight,” Flash counted unhappily, “this brings me to a grand total of…” his heart sank as he forced himself to reveal the dreaded number. “...twenty-one.”
His friends gasped as Sandalwood mouthed the number in astonishment.
“That’s about a fifth of a way to a hundred!” Micro Chips calculated. “Another seventy-nine, and you’ll have hit a record!”
“Is that supposed to cheer me up?” Flash asked in a deadpanned tone. “Cause it’s not working.”
“It’s just so bizarre, dude,” said Brawly Beats. “You've got the looks, you're smart, you're athletic, and you're nice to just about everyone. So why do these chicks keep rejecting you?”
“The female mind is a very complicated puzzle that no mortal man can ever fully solve,” insisted Sandalwood in all his hippy wisdom.
“What if they’re actually being replaced by alien copies?” Micro Chips theorized, earning crazed looks from his friends. “Just hear me out; what if somewhere in the galaxy, alien beings are secretly kidnapping females so as to disguise themselves and walk among us? Turning down suitors they deem unworthy for their conquest of our very mortal souls!” The techie broke from his insanity driven conspiracy when he noticed how disturbed his friends had become, and chuckled nervously. “I… think I may have been watching too many sci-fi movies before bed.”
“Well, perhaps some women find Flash’s kindhearted characteristics too… bland,” suggested Bass Key. “I’ve heard of some ladies who prefer someone with a bit more …‘spice’ in their personality.”
“Or maybe some just simply aren’t attracted to males,” Brawly Beats insisted. “Take Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops, for example.”
How could anyone forget? Those two BFF’s were among the first girls Flash got rejected by. While they only saw him as a friend, over time, they grew very attached to each other.
“Then again,” Micro Chips added, “some girls seem either against romance altogether, or are just flat out mean. Like that over competitive bully, Lightning Dust.”
Lightning Dust - another rejection Flash remembered all too well. When he asked out the sports lover, she rejected him hard, calling romance a pathetic waste of time that only served to get in the way of what was really important - like winning.
“I hear she has a cousin who kinda looks like her,” said Bass Key. “Hope she’s nowhere near as out of control as Lightning is.”
“It’s just not fair,” Flash sulked. “I would give anything for the chance to find true love; the bond where people can fully understand each other, connect romantically and spiritually, and achieve the eternal bliss of happiness and joy. But I guess some people just aren’t meant to have that special happiness.”
“Look at it this way,” Microchips insisted. “Maybe you’ll have better luck when we go to Canterlot High.”
With Summer coming to a close, this meant it would be time to go back to school. Many of Flash’s friends had chosen to attend a school known as Canterlot High; a well known school mentioned to have a rather friendly and adventurous atmosphere. It was a picnic compared to another well known academy in the region; the pristine and uptight school of Crystal Prep.
“I’ll take Canterlot High over Crystal Prep any day,” Flash insisted. “Given all the things I’ve heard about that school, it seems more like an academy that teaches you how to cheat and belittle others just to get ahead. Then again, my adopted folks used to go there, and they may consider sending me…”
“Well why don’t you just tell them you don’t want to go?” asked Brawly Beats.
“I really don’t want to hurt their feelings,” Flash insisted. “Especially after all they’d done for me when they took me in. Last thing I want is for them to feel like I’m ungrateful.”
“Guess this could be the end of Flash Drive, I suppose,” Bass Key sighed unhappily. “It was nice while it lasted…”
Flash, not wanting to make his friends as unhappy as he was at the moment, decided to set off for home. Would fate ever smile on this blue-haired rocker?
Author's Note
Greetings, fellow fanfic writers! Boy it's been ages since I've last made a story, hasn't it. Well I've been kept rather busy with life and other problems, and never found the time to get back to the old writing desk until recently. After stumbling across a rather amazing Flash Sentry x Mane 7 Fanfic, I got inspired to take a crack at a few of my own. In addition to this story, there'll be another story that's solely about FlashxMane 7. If you guys have any suggestions for this story (like if there should still be the element of magic powers, or whether Spike should be Human or Dog), don't be afraid to tell me what you'd like to see happen. Always happy to hear your input, as it may help shape the future of this tale. Hope to see you again soon.
Flash Sentry's Adventures in Harem Life
A sad and dejected Flash walked down the streets as he made his way home. Given how many times he had been rejected before, you’d think he’d been used to this feeling. But each rejection had made Flash all the more determined to try again. Though it’s not to say that the feeling of rejection still didn’t hurt him. Along his way, Flash could spot several other couples enjoying themselves; a boyfriend and girlfriend were sharing spaghetti with each other like that one Disney movie, another couple was cuddling close for comfort, even an elderly couple were walking together, holding hands.
“So many people have found their own true love,” Flash sighed, “It’d be nice if I could find true love too. But alas, I’m just… not meant to have it.”
A two-story mansion stood proud among many other houses on the street. This was the humble home of Flash’s rather eccentric, adoptive parents. Down in the greenhouse was a rather lovely woman tending to some plants. She had sapphire eyes, long, wavy black hair, and wore a gothic, dark green gown. This was Orchid Nightshade, an expert botanist, and lover of exotic plants. At this moment, she was humming a cheerful tune as she was feeding her plants meatballs for lunch.
“Open wide, Audrey,” she said, holding up a meatball on a fork. “And don’t forget to chew. We don’t want you to choke.” The flytrap in question opened its pod, allowing Orchid to put the meat inside. Satisfied with its meal, the plant chomped happily, allowing Orchid to pet it as if it were a cat. “Oh, such a good girl.”
She then went over to the next plant. “You’re turn, Seymour.”
The second plant, Seymour, opened its pod, and was just about to be fed when another vine snatched the fork away, revealing a much bigger flytrap intending to steal the meatball for itself.
“Shame on you, Orin!” scolded Orchid, “You’ve already had your lunch. Let the others have theirs.”
The plant, Orin, reluctantly gave the meatball back, and folded its vines up as if it were a child throwing a tantrum.
“You’re such a bully, sometimes,” sighed Orchid as she went about with her feeding.
Once the plants had all been fed, Orchid went into the living room where her husband was reading the paper while standing on top of his head. He was a rather dashing fellow with dark hair, wore a blue, chalk-striped suit with a red tie, and sported a pencil-thin moustache. This chap was none other than Parry Ordinance, zillionaire lawyer and fencing master.
“Anything interesting in the paper, darling?” Orchid asked.
“Ah, same old, same old,” sighed Parry. Quickly raising his hand, he flipped through the pages before setting his hand back to keep his balance. “Ooh, looks like the deli’s having a special sale on roasted chicken.”
“Oh, how delightful,” smiled Orchid, “The plants have been getting a craving for poultry lately.”
Parry then flipped to another page before frowning.
“And that Abacus Cinch is having an article retaining the new rules and regulations for anyone applying to Crystal Prep,” he said.
“You mean she’s still alive?” Orchid asked disappointedly, “Oh, phooey…”
Just then, the door opened up, and Flash walked in.
“I’m back,” he called.
“Welcome home, dear,” Orchid greeted,” Have a good time with your friends?”
“It could’ve gone better,” Flash sighed. His folks could tell by the tone in his voice something was wrong.
“What’s the matter, kiddo?” asked Parry
“I got rejected,” said Flash, “Again.”
“Oh dear, another rejection?” gasped Orchid, “I swear, the girls of Canterlot City have absolutely no idea what a wonderful boy they’re passing up.”
“Why don’t you join me in a little Zen Yogi, and tell us about it?” Parry offered, “It’ll do a world of good, and it’ll help with sore feet.”
With nothing to lose, and a quick “Alley Oop!”, Flash flipped onto his head like his adoptive father. Though it was clear he was struggling.
“How are you able to do this and keep such a good balance?” Flash questioned, trying not to fall over.
“Years of practice, my boy,” said Parry, ”But you’ll get the hang of it someday. Now what happened?”
“Well,” said Flash, trying to keep balance, “it’s like what happened with every other girl I asked out. I told Starlight how I felt about her, I listed the things I liked most about her, and asked her out.”
“And what reason would she have to turn you down?” asked Parry.
“Said her heart belonged to her best friend, Sunburst.”
“That wizard boy from the Astrology Club?” asked Orchid.
Before Flash could answer, he lost his balance and fell onto his back.
“The very same,” he groaned, rubbing his head as he was helped back to his feet by Parry, who was back on his own feet.
“Unless I’m mistaken,” Parry added, “his mother, Stellar Flare, has a thing for younger men.” A concerned look then spread on his face. “She hasn’t tried flirting with you, has she?”
“Not that I know of,” insisted Flash, causing his adoptive parents to sigh with relief.
“Good,” Orchid said firmly, “Because if that uptight cougar even thinks of trying to seduce my sweet little angel, my plants may find themselves with a new meal!”
“Querida!” Parry gasped, sounding alarmed, “How could you even think of such an idea? Feeding Stellar Flare to your plants. She’d give those poor things severe indigestion.”
Realizing her mistake, Orchid snapped back to her senses.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mon cher,” she apologized, “It’s just that the idea of someone wanting to take advantage of Flash puts me in a blind rage.”
“It’s perfectly alright,” her husband comforted delicately, “It’s natural for a parent to be so protective of their child in unexpected events.”
It warmed Flash’s heart to see his adoptive parents hold such a loving bond with each other. Yet at the same time, he felt sad that he would never get to experience that himself. But before he could say anything, he noticed an opened letter on the coffee table. The envelope had the official Crystal Prep wax seal on it, out of the corner, Flash could see that it was an acceptance letter.
“I… take it you want me to attend Crystal Prep once Summer’s over,” said Flash, willing to accept his fate. Hearing this caused Parry and Orchid to look at Flash as though he had said something completely ridiculous.
“Crystal Prep?” asked Orchid, “Why on earth do you think we’d ever send you there?”
“Well,” Flash admitted, “It’s just that you guys used to attend Crystal Prep when you were my age. So I assumed you wanted me to carry on the tradition.” He gestered over to some pictures above the fireplace. Two pictures showed Parry and Orchid, both teenagers, in the official Crystal Prep outfits. Teen Perry was holding a fencing sword and posing for the fencing team while Teen Orchid proudly held a large plant in a pot with a blue ribbon for a gardening contest.
“Yes, but things were different back then, Flash,” Parry explained, “When we were your age, Crystal Prep was a much nicer school. The teachers and headmistress all taught us to play fair, and treat others with the utmost respect, whether they were upper class or lower class.”
“But all that changed when that… Abacus Cinch took over,” Orchid frowned. Just speaking the name made her feel ill. “Once she was in charge, fair play and good sportsmanship became a thing of the past. She had practically turned the school into a re-education center, where students were taught that victory and being the best was more important than acting like decent human beings. You are far too good a boy to be bullied and looked down on by those entitled, elitist snobs, Flash.” To prove this, she tore up the Crystal Prep letter, and tossed it in the fire.
“So instead,” Parry added, “we’re sending you to a school with a much friendlier atmosphere - Canterlot High. Might not be as fancy as Crystal Prep, but the staff are nice people, and you’re sure to make tons of new friends there. And the best part is… your parents used to go there.”
“My biological ones?” Flash asked. Parry simply nodded before showing another picture. This time, it was teenaged him and Orchid engaged in a friendly chat with two other teens. The boy had Flash’s eyes while the girl had his sapphire blue hair. “Oh wow…”
“If they were here,” Parry smiled, “I’m sure they’d be proud of the young man you’re turning into.”
“Yes, dear,” Orchid added, “You might not be our biological son, but you’re still family. And good families look out for each other.”
“Thanks, guys,” Flash smiled, embracing his adopted family in a hug. He’d known for years he was adopted, and hadn’t felt comfortable enough to call them ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ until he was about 7 because he was afraid of betraying his real ones. Though thankfully, that was in the past.
“Oh, I’d almost forgotten,” Parry realized, “This parcel came for you in the mail.” He handed a small box to Flash. It was painted white with golden trimmings along the side. Oddly enough, there was no tag revealing who it was from.
“That’s odd,” murmured Flash, “I’ll look at it a bit more after dinner.” With that, he went upstairs to put the box in his room.
That evening, when dinner was over, Flash was in his room, getting ready for bed. While he was still bummed at being rejected, he was at least glad he’d be going to the same school his friends were going to.
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” he announced proudly, “Flash Drive lives on!” He then began playing air guitar with his fingers. A playful bark interrupted his solo as he noticed his dog, Bananas, on his bed. Bananas was a brown and white Boston Terrier with a little sweater on him.
“How could I forget Flash Drive’s biggest fan?” Flash chuckled, giving the pooch some much deserved pets, “Big things are shaping up, Banana. I’ll be going to a new school. Hopefully, it’ll be my chance to finally find true love…” Flash’s thoughts were interrupted again by Banana’s barking. “What’s up, boy?”
Banana then started pointing with his left paw to something on the desk close to the bed. Flash turned around and noticed the little box he’d gotten was glowing. Feeling curious, he opened the box, and noticed a pair of dice with little red hearts in place of the usual dots.
“Cute,” Flash chuckled, picking the dice up, “Looks like a little novelty leftover from Valentine's Day.“ He looked back down at the box, and noticed a card glowing. He picked it up, and noticed something written on it in golden letters.
‘Make a wish, and roll the dice’.
Flash blinked in confusion as he looked at the dice in his hands. Were these dice really magical enough to grant wishes? He looked back at the card only to watch it vanish in a flash of gold. Flash rubbed his eyes, trying to make sense of it all. Perhaps he was merely hallucinating about that card, and what it read. And yet… What if he hadn’t hallucinated? Could this finally be the chance he needed to end his rejection streak once and for all? With nothing left to lose, Flash closed his eyes, held the dice firmly, and made his wish.
“I wish to find true love!” With that said, Flash tossed the dice onto the floor. The dice rolled a bit before stopping on the value seven - a three and a four. After a few seconds, nothing seemed to happen.
“Guess it was just a joke…” Flash sighed. Banana, meanwhile, sniffed curiously at the dice, trying to see why it would play such a joke on his human. Suddenly, the dice began to glow as gold dust began to swirl up from them, causing Banana to bark urgently and hide under Flash’s bed. This caught Flash’s attention as he saw the gold dust cyclone grow bigger, and the glow became brighter, causing him to shield his eyes. After a few seconds, the glowing had died down. Slowly, Flash lowered his arm and opened an eye. There, standing before him, was a young man he had never seen before, dusting gold dust off his sleeve. He had red hair and green eyes. His outfit was complete with a red vest over a white, long sleeve shirt, a pair of black trousers, golden shoes, and a green hat. This chap seemed to be a card dealer with a very poor fashion style.
“Flash Sentry,” the stranger declared with an Irish accent, “Yer wish has been heard, and yer wish has been granted.”
“A-are you… a genie?” Flash asked in bewilderment.
“Genie?” the stranger scoffed with a laugh, “Ye mean those big fellers who live in wee little lamps and grant wishes? No no no, I’m somet’ing far better than a genie.” He then tipped his hat as he bowed his head slightly. “Blackjack Razz at yer service.”
“Well what are you then?” Flash asked, “And more importantly, how do you know my name if we’ve never met before?”
“Oh, I know all about ye, Flash,” Blackjack insisted, “Been watchin’ over ye since the day ye were born. As for what I am, though…” he grinned playfully “...oh ferget it, ye won’t believe it.”
“What?” Flash asked, “You can tell me.”
Blackjack smirked and turned away with his arms folded. “No no no, ye’ll just t’ink I’m silly.”
“Oh, come on!” Flash begged, sounding like a child who wanted to open his Christmas presents early, “Pretty please?”
“Alright alright, ye’ve convinced me,” Blackjack chuckled, “I… am… yer Guardian Angel!”
“Guardian Angel?!” Surely this had to be some sort of joke. But Blackjack had predicted this response, and was well prepared to prove himself. He opened his vest to show a golden badge pinned to his shirt with the words ‘Guardian Angel’ printed in the middle.
“This is mainly a placeholder till I’ve officially earned me wings,” he explained, closing his vest back up, “But let’s get to the true reason I’m here - to help ye out.”
“Help me out?” Flash blinked.
“Aye,” said Blackjack. “Me boy, yer undeserved back luck in the romance department ends here. From the moment ye enter Canterlot High, ye’ll be on the path to finally findin’ true love.”
True love? After all the rejections he had put up with, was Flash finally fated to find true love? No. Surely this had to be some sort of prank.
“Riiiiight,” said Flash sarcastically as he nodded, looking around the room, “Is this supposed to be an entry for ‘Canterlot’s Captured Crazies’? Where’s the cameras at?”
“This is no joke, Flash,” scolded Blackjack, “T’is written in the stars. If there’s one thing we Guardian Angels never joke about, it’s when we tell people when they’re bound to meet their destined soulmates.” Flash could see that Blackjack wasn’t fooling around. He then had another question.
“What’s a soulmate?”
“A soulmate is the kindred spirit who was chosen for ye before ye were born,” Blackjack explained, “The ideal romantic partner of yer dreams.”
Ideal romantic partner… Flash thought in amazement. This could, in fact, be the real deal. But suddenly, a realization dawned on him. “How will I be able to tell who’s my soulmate, and not just a one-sided admirer, or scammer trying to manipulate me?”
“Not to worry, me boy,” said Blackjack, taking his hat off and pulling out a silk sheet from it, “There be a very simple way of deducin’ that.” He laid the silk on the ground, tapped his foot twice, then with a quick tug, he pulled the silk away, magically summoning a blackjack table in its place. Flash wanted to question how Blackjack pulled this off, but then he remembered who he was talking to, and let his new magical friend do his job. From there, several playing cards flew out of Blackjack’s right sleeve and landed into his left hand, forming a full deck.
“Now pick 3 cards,” he advised, fanning the cards out, “Then lay them on the table without lookin’ at ‘em.”
Flash did so, picking three cards at random, and laying them face down on his side while Blackjack shuffled the rest of the deck and set it on his side of the table.
“Here’s how this works,” Blackjack explained as he flipped the top card of the deck onto the table. The card showed two figures unintentionally walking towards each other as a clock is shown above them. ”At specific points in their lives, soulmates are fated to meet up with one another.” He flipped over a second card, showing the figures making eye contact with each other as an electrical spark forms between the two bodies. “When they first make eye contact wit’ each other, a sudden shock, known as a Zing, runs through their bodies. Ye ever pull on them gag gums that shock ye?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“That’s how strong a Zing feels,” said Blackjack. He then flipped a third card, this time showing the couple from the previous card had become completely infatuated with each other. “This here Zing causes the soulmates to feel an immense passion fer each other, instantly fallin’ head over heels, and experiencin’ the phenomenon called ‘Love at First Sight’.” From there, a fourth card flipped, showing the female figure holding her heart as she swoons while her male lover, on the bottom half of the card, stands cluelessly around as a clock on the wall spins. “In many situations like this, the ladies often recognize it the moment it happens while the fellers may need a wee bit more time to realize that the love bug’s paid ‘em a visit.”
Flash was rather puzzled to hear that bit. “How come guys take longer to figure this out than girls do?” he asked curiously.
“No one knows fer sure,” Blackjack shrugged, “Though in me own personal opinion, some fellers are just plain eejits.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Flash nodded. He knew from personal experience that some people weren’t all that bright.
“Truth be told,” Blackjack admitted, “I’m not really supposed to tell ye about all this. See, Guardian Angels are supposed to let people find their soulmates on their own. But seein’ as ye’ve had it rather hard with all the rejections, I felt ye deserved a little slack.”
“What about all the people who spend their whole lives single?” asked Flash.
“Well not everyone gets to have a soulmate,” explained Blackjack, “Especially since there are some rather nasty people out there who don’t even deserve ‘em.” That was another fact Flash wholeheartedly agreed with. He hated that there actually existed people who were so cruel and selfish, that they would actually abuse the people they’re meant to love for either their own gain, or just for the sake of control and dominance.
“Now the ones who do have soulmates are rather blessed,” Blackjack continued before smirking, “But those with multiple soulmates… now they’re even more blessed than they could ever imagine.”
“People can have more than one soulmate?” asked Flash.
“It’s a pretty rare moment,” said Blackjack, “But it’s happened before. And it’s guaranteed to happen again.”
“It is?”
“Aye,” Blackjack nodded. He then gestured for Flash to turn over the three cards from earlier. They were a Seven of Hearts, an Eight of Hearts, and a Six of Hearts. “Ye see, Flash, ye won’t be just meetin’ one soulmate when ye join Canterlot High. Ye’re destined to meet twenty-one soulmates!”
“T-T-T-T-Twenty-one?!?” Flash gasped. His eyes widened so much, he thought they were gonna pop out of his sockets, and roll onto the floor.
“Ye heard me right,” confirmed Blackjack, “Somewhere out there are twenty-one lovely ladies lookin’ fer that special someone to share an eternity of true love and happiness with. And they’re all yer’s, me boy! They’re all yer’s!” He then spread the cards about, causing them to magically float on their own, and take the forms of twenty-one ladies, all silhouetted in glowing light.
“Oh wow…” Flash gasped in amazement, “21 girls all for me… after all this time of being rejected. I… I can’t believe it…”
“Ye’d better believe it, Flash,” Blackjack grinned as the magic women disappeared, “Ye’re a very lucky young lad. From this moment on, all yer dreams will become realities.” He then picked up the dice, and handed them to Flash. “And if ye ever need me guidance again, just roll a Lucky 7, and I’ll come faster than ye can say ‘Four-Leafed Clover'.”
Flash stared at the dice for a few seconds, then turned his head up to Blackjack.
“Thank you,” he said in complete gratitude.
“Trust me, Flash,” said Blackjack, shaking Flash’s hand, “Great things are comin’ yer way.” And with that, he turned to gold dust, and disappeared. Banana slowly poked his head out from under the bed, wanting to see if everything was safe again.
“Well how do you like that, Banana?” Flash chuckled, petting his dog, “After all those rejections, I’ve finally hit the Jackpot.” He walked over to his window and opened it, looking out at the rest of the world. “Somewhere out there, my destined soulmates are waiting for me. I can’t wait to meet them, and finally live the life of true love I’d always dreamed of.” A happy tear trickled down his cheek. “Fate is finally smiling on me…”
Author's Note
Well it looks like Flash is finally going to find the happiness he was looking for. Let's hope this Guardian Angel wasn't pulling his leg for the lols, though.
Fun Fact: The characters Parry Ordinance and Orchid Nightshade were inspired by the 1960's versions of Gomez and Morticia Addams. There's also a fun Musical-Related Easter Egg in this chapter. See if you can find it.