In Memoriamby Schizoid NightfallChaptersIn MemoriamIn His MindScootaloo4A: Secret LoveIn MemoriamChapter 1: In Memoriam Please know that I still love all of you very much, and that I loathe the thought of leaving you alone in this world. But Rain, you have matured so much in these years, and I am so proud of you. I’ve felt like your father since you were barely old enough to walk, and I know now that I succeeded in that role. I just wish I could have done the same for Slip. I’m sorry… Rainbow Dash woke up. It was still dark outside, and she knew the sun wouldn’t be up for almost an hour. The words still rang in her head; it had been almost a year, but she still heard his voice every night. Why did he leave me? She asked herself, barely able to keep from crying. Rainbow was never able to figure out why her brother had killed himself. He had lasted 7 years after Slipstream died, watching his other daughter grow up without ever really knowing her. Rainbow had seen him break inside with each passing day, but thought his commitment to her and Scootaloo would keep him going. He had left a note on the table about an hour before his death. Rainbow realized, upon reading it, how much pain he had really lived with all those years. He felt like a failure as a father…he said he felt like his dad. This was something Rainbow never quite understood, as he had never opened up about their father. All she knew was that he seemed to be abusive, at least verbally, and had abandoned them when she was just a baby. Shortly afterward, Lightning had run away with her. It had been 5 years since Twilight Sparkle moved to Ponyville, and neither her nor any of the others—except Fluttershy—even knew Rainbow had ever had a brother. They didn’t know why she was so broken up about his death, or even that a death had occurred until a week later, when a funeral was held. The eulogies said he was a beloved member of the community a long time ago, and that his spirit lived on in his sister and daughter, who lived in Ponyville. At that point, the others had realized the significance to Rainbow, guessing that she was his sister, and moved to comfort her. Nopony was ever able to figure out exactly who the daughter was. Everypony had a hunch, but none said anything. Scootaloo was too naïve to really understand; she knew him as a reclusive friend of the family, nothing more. Nopony talked to her about it, and she never asked any questions. That was the way it worked. One day, about two weeks after the service, Rainbow was called over to the funeral home to discuss the will. She had been dreading this; news about how Lightning wanted what was left of his life divided among people who didn’t know him very well. At the home, the man on staff went through the will sensitively with Rainbow, detailing each point. He had more bits than she thought, and she had received all of it, along with his house. She decided immediately to put it on the market; she didn’t need that reminder hanging over her head, literally. Lastly, he left Scootaloo his old guitar and a few other knick-knacks from her early life. Rainbow went to Lightning’s home to clear out some of the stuff she could either keep or donate. She found several pictures of the two of them from points in their life here. The first time she had flown, her first day at the flight school, her and Gilda from years ago. She choked up at the memories hidden within the old house. Everywhere, there were signs of real life; a life lived, and yet to be lived. If he had all of this, why did he leave it? Even as she finished asking herself, she knew the answer: the tragedy in his life had overwhelmed the good. The horrible things that had happened to him were, admittedly, few and far between, but they were powerful and tragic enough to have a lasting effect on his mental and physical health. He had suffered through life, and in the end, death was his only remaining escape. She went into his bedroom, overcome with how personal it really was. There was art everywhere; the walls had become his own personal mural, detailing his life there. I never knew he could paint, Rainbow thought. “But, I guess, I didn’t know that much about him…” It was true. She didn’t know Lightning loved Surprise until well after she had died. Rainbow didn’t know he thought of her as a daughter in more ways than as a sister until fairly recently; he had said so in his will. She never knew he sang, danced, painted, drew, wrote, or did anything except, really, cook and laugh a lot. She did know that Surprise’s and Slipstream’s deaths had affected him deeply. She also assumed that he had been dating somepony in town for a couple years prior to his death, but would never tell her who it was. All she knew was that he seemed happy near the end, and she was happy for him in return. “I wish you’d told me more,” whispered Rainbow, fighting back tears she had suppressed since the funeral. “Why didn’t you let me in?” As she began to go through his things, she decided to keep the house; the paintings in here were too personal, too important. They connected her to a part of his personality she didn’t even know existed. It was a haunted part of him he never showed to anypony, a past she had never been told about. There were images of a monster she could only imagine were his memories of their father. She was prominent for a good stretch of it, always smiling…his version of a happy life. As Rainbow went through an old chest by Lightning’s bed, she came across a locked box. She put it aside and thought nothing of it. After hours of going through old memories, deciding which ones to keep and which to throw away, she couldn’t bring herself to toss it. Each day brought up fresh memories, every one harder than the last. Slip’s brief time alive was prominent for most of the remainder of the mural and the various items hidden around the house. Most of them featured his daughter as happy, none truly sad. Rainbow realized on her last full day there that he had never let go of either Slip or Scoots. He killed himself to be with his daughter again, at the expense of watching his remaining filly grow up not knowing who he was. She got lost in thought for hours. Old letters he’d left her when he went out for something. Notes from when they’d started living here: that’s what made Rainbow stop. Up until then, there had been a lot of memories, but nothing written by her brother. Here, to her, was proof that he had really existed, that others would truly mourn his death. It pushed her over the edge; she cried for an hour. When she opened her eyes, she looked down into the almost-empty chest, and she saw a key there. She picked it up and put it on the dresser. I wonder what this opens, she thought. It’s nice. Must be something old. It was getting dark, and she had to go home for the night. She locked up the house, looked back once more, and flew home slowly. She had missed Pinkie Pie’s party to celebrate the budding romance between Fluttershy and Twilight: something even Twilight hadn’t seen coming. It was still a young relationship, and only time would tell if it would last. When Rainbow woke up the next morning, she reluctantly returned to Lightning’s home for what she hoped was the last time. The first thing she saw was the key, suddenly remembering the small box. She fit the key into the lock and turned it. The latch flipped open… Author’s Note: I’m baaaack!!!! I know, it’s been virtually no time at all, but I’ve been getting suggestions for a few days now, and I had time today to type the rest of this out (started it two days ago). I hope you enjoy it!! I think I’ve really found a franchise with this guy ☺ In His MindChapter 2: Inside His Mind If I never see the light of day, let it be said that I lived my life as well as I could. I realize that sounds cheesy, but that’s how it was. My own life has been a constant upheaval of what should have been happiness and introduction of constant tragedy. I’ve never been a subtle creature, and I have experienced both the pros and cons of that. Through this tendency, I have made friends, lost love, and coped with depression for years now. But I fear I may be starting to lose this battle. Was I wrong to hate myself for what I did to Surprise? Is my own suffering enough to make up for that? Both are questions I had wanted so bad to ask her, but never got the chance to. I tortured myself for months trying to work up the courage to pose the question I really wanted to: did I deserve forgiveness? I wanted to ask her just as much as myself, but I was never able to. It took enough out of me to remember what happened that day to bring myself to face my decisions since then. I used to be happy. Now, I’m not so sure… Rainbow had to put it down. She had found Lightning’s journal in the box she’d opened about an hour before. What she had just finished reading was from just before Slip and Scoots were born, from his final depressive spout before becoming a father. He had been outwardly friendly to anypony who would still talk to him, but she remembered his drinking and crying at home; he had cried himself to sleep for over a month before Surprise…died. One more thing Rainbow was always unable to bring herself to accept was Surprise killing herself. The short time she was able to spend with her nieces taught her one thing: a mare doesn’t commit suicide when she has fillies to look after. Mother instincts won’t allow it. At least there’s something left of him. After the burial, she was broken on the inside. Scootaloo couldn’t remember anything, and Nurse Redheart had said she would never fly. Since then, the two had fallen into a give-and-take relationship: Rainbow gave her skill, devotion, and inspiration, and Scoots soaked it up. However, Scootaloo had become her own pony; she was no longer just Lightning’s daughter. A good deal of the house had been emptied out during Rainbow’s long purge, especially the pictures. After all that, all that remained was the journal Rain was now reading. My mind has been to Tartarus and back. Every day is a fresh torture for me…I realize that these are basically the same, but I’m trying to find a way to put it that causes me the least pain. The only way for me to do that is to play with my daughters for a while. Slipstream: an interesting name, to be sure, but she’s still amazing. Her smile is intoxicating, her laughter a beautiful song. She reminds me of Surprise, a mare that never knew I loved her. After years of watching over Rain, the company of fillies feels…dry, I guess. Raising my own daughters is amazing, but there seems to be no excitement in it anymore. Everypony I know here took until Slip and Scoots came home to find out that Rain wasn’t my daughter, and when they realized that they, the Cakes in particular, became a lot easier to deal with. I guess life was just a blur up until a few months ago, when I brought the girls back to my home. Everything slowed down watching them run around the house, Slipstream especially. She’s a tiny bullet on her hooves…kind of freaks me out when I consider what she’ll be like as a flier. There has always been a certain dichotomy to my emotions. If I’m not suicidal, I’m overjoyed to be alive. I think my old shrink called it ‘bipolar,’ or something. Right now, despite the routine of caring for Slip and Scoots, I’m happy. I can honestly say that I don’t care what anypony says about me in the future; at least the fillies stopped rumors that I like colts…but that’s beside the point. The girls have me in a happy stage of life. I can’t be sad around them, and I’ve tried. I try to equate them with her, but I always end up seeing Slip as Slip and Scoots as Scoots. It was, and is, impossible to relate them to the suffering I’ve endured. My whole life was horrible until they came along. I finally have a real family, one I’m not afraid to see every day. It’s comforting to know that I can be happy again. It read like a novel. The flow was erratic, matching his personality flawlessly. Rainbow had no idea what to make of it, but she felt compelled to continue reading. The journal was impossible to put down. Feeling a thousand and one emotions must be beautiful. If only I could know what it’s like to have a midpoint between ecstasy and crippling depression, life would be so much easier to deal with. Rainbow said it seemed that her friend, Fluttershy, always felt five different things at once. I’ve met her; she might be sad, angry, guilty, indifferent, or a psychopath for all I know. She always has the same timid look on her face. Watching her, though, I can’t help but see a bit of myself there. I was very reserved as a young colt…I guess that could be chalked up to my father again. I was never really given a chance to spread my wings (no pun intended), and I didn’t make many friends. Those that I did were very close and gave me somepony to confide in. After a time, even they abandoned me, and I began giving up on life. I suppose starting anew with Rain proved my salvation: it brought me back from the darkest place I’d ever been. Until we got to Ponyville, my plan had been to give her to an orphanage and kill myself I’m glad I chose not to. Again, Rainbow stopped reading. She had never known this about him, how dark his life had been. Lightning always seemed the epitome of happiness in her foalhood, and it was hard to believe that he had seriously considered suicide at such an early age. She was past tears by now; reading this had dried them up. As much as I’d like to forget what happened and move on pretending I had no children, I can’t. I’ll have to live out my days knowing that, because of me, my daughter is dead, her sister crippled for life. I cry myself to sleep every night wishing Scoots and Slip were still here with me, hoping for the impossible. If I can ever draw any comfort in this tragedy, it’s the service. Laying a filly to rest is hard enough when it’s not yours, but no parent should have to bury their own child. I could barely speak at the funeral. I tried talking about how much Slip meant to me, but I was never able to truly communicate it. The bond there is too strong to put into words. The other parents in Ponyville understood what I was suffering through; the thought of losing a child is unbearable to them, and they would never wish it upon anypony. I only hope that, soon, I can learn to forgive myself for my role in her death. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Scoots what had happened; it seemed evil to tell her since she couldn’t remember anything before the doctor told her she would never fly. She’ll figure it out soon enough, I expect. Only halfway into the journal’s pages, and Rainbow was having a hard time reading any more of it. She knew Lightning blamed himself for that accident, but not that completely. She always figured he had chalked at least some of it up to random chance… As she put the journal back in the box, she lost her balance. The next thing she knew, the box was open on the floor, with pieces of paper spilling out of it from a hidden compartment in the bottom. She picked up the first one and read: Dear Scootaloo… Hi everypony!! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up! I've been tweaking it for days now, and I've tried to follow the feedback. Thank you so much for your suggestions, and please, for the love of Celestia, stay tuned! I'm hoping to write longer chapters at some point, by the way...hopefully surpassing 2,000-3,000 words from now on :) ScootalooChapter 3: Scootaloo Dear Scootaloo, I honestly do not know how to start this letter. Should I explain about your parents and the circumstances of how you lost your memory? Or should I just say I still couldn’t talk about them? The years haven’t exactly been kind to me, and I hope I can explain things well. I can’t bring myself to describe the pain I have caused myself all these years, watching you grow and never feeling capable of claiming you as my daughter. First and foremost, I want you to know that I loved your mother very, very much. She was a bright spot in my thoughts for years, and she has never left them. My pain comes from not being there for her when she needed me the most, and living with that guilt. Dear Scoots, I am your father Dearest Scootaloo, I know I’ve never been there for you, but I want you to know I’ll be here whenever you need me. I love you so much My Daughter, I know I’ve never really tried contacting you, and I cannot apologize enough that I wasn’t there for you. Watching you grow up from afar is the only thing that has kept me going all these long years. The time has passed so slowly, I can’t bear it. You have been such a light in my life, a source of immeasurable happiness. I suppose I owe you an explanation…reasons for me not being there. First off, realize that I loved your mother very much and wished only the best for her. I know that your sister loved you, too. Scoots, we all thought the world of you, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be a happy life for any of us. When I found you next to your sister, I—well, words cannot describe how deep of a depression you two pulled me out of. The day I brought you home was the happiest in a long time for me. You and Slipstream were so innocent, so much of what I couldn’t be. I was nice to have that…it was nice to have you. Then, the day before you woke up in the hospital, there was an accident. You and Slip collided in midair; I wasn’t able to save either of you. It’s my fault she’s dead…and that you can’t fly anymore. That’s why I didn’t tell you who I was when you woke up: I didn’t want you thinking your father was a failure. The worst part of it was knowing that I had done everything right. I’d raised you after Surprise died, I gave you all I had, and I still failed. I hope that, in time, you can forgive me, and who knows? Maybe you’ll even shock me and fly someday! I’m no doctor, but I have to believe that all injuries can heal with time. I will always love you, Scoots. More than you can imagine. Love, Lightning Runner P.S. The world is such a happy place For fillies just like you. So go put on that happy face And see what it can do. Rainbow Dash choked on a laugh while fighting back tears reading that last line. It was part of a song Lightning used to sing the girls when they got sad. She stared at the papers in front of her, amazed at the effort put into this. How many times did he start? Are there dozens or hundreds more? The questions continued piling up the longer she thought. After reading more failed letters, Rainbow decided it was time to at least eat something. Leaving the room, she paused at the door and looked back. It seemed so peaceful, almost like nothing had happened. A pair of jaded magenta eyes tore themselves away from the memories contained there…at least for now. OW!!! The day was looking up a bit until then. There had been enough good food in the house to make a decent daisy sandwich, and there was water spiked with rainbows in the fridge. Admittedly, it was spicy, but he had always been good at making light of the worst in the world. And now something had stubbed Rainbow’s hoof as she re-entered his bedroom. A quick search of the cluttered floor revealed a book: actually, it looked more like a diary of sorts. On the cover was a picture of Scootaloo, flying over Ponyville some years ago. The image sent chills up the cyan pegasus’ spine. How long had he had this? What was in it? She opened it and read. Day One: Today, I brought home the fillies from Surprise’s house. I don’t know what to make of all this. I am a father! I guess I should be happy to say it, to know it…but I’m just terrified. Rain is, as usual, just happy to have other fillies around. I don’t know what I’ll name them yet. Day Two: So, Rain and I finally decided on names. The purple one is Slipstream, and the orange Scootaloo. They just seemed to fit. I’m happier today, but I don’t know how long that will last. Since it’s me, let’s just assume I’ll be down again in a week. Only time will tell now. Day Eight: Good news: I’m not waking up screaming anymore. Bad news: She’s still there. I don’t know how to describe it, but I don’t care that I dream about Surprise anymore. The fillies have brought out a side of me I haven’t felt in a long time…not since I moved here with Rain, actually. Surprise’s first party for us was the last time I really felt the same attachment. It was the first time the responsibility of taking care of my sister hit me. Now, feeling that again, I can’t help but look forward to it. This is too weird! Day Thirteen: Almost two weeks…I can’t believe it’s been almost two weeks. I buried her alone today. There will be a formal ceremony tomorrow. Surprise always loved that old oak tree; it’s a perfect resting place. The fillies are still as amazing as ever, but I haven’t really been there for them lately. Too much going on, you know? Day 27: I know, I know. It’s been a while. I’ve been dealing with stuff. It’s just hard to work through my time with the weather team when they all keep offering their condolences for Surprise. Why do they suddenly like me? Hell, I didn’t even know I loved her until it was too late! Celestia knows I could have done so much better, and I threw away the only chance at love I’ve ever really had. That said, I need a mental note here: make time for the girls. It’s not fair to have Rain watch over them all the time. She doesn’t have that much of a social life now that she’s no longer at the Flight Academy. Day 58: Slip flew today. I can’t even believe it! Scoots just stared up at her wondering why she can’t be like her big sis (apparently Slip was born first…one of many things I found out after the funeral). Neither of them can speak yet, but I’m looking forward to that day. Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but smile; she remembered that day as if it were yesterday. Skipping several pages, she reached an entry she had hoped never to find. Entry 137: I stopped trying to remember the days. It’s easy enough when you write every day, but I just skipped a whole month, so there’s that idea out the window. Slip found the pictures of me as a colt. She asked me who the old stallion in one of the pictures was…why I had a black eye. Somehow, I knew I’d eventually have to face this, but I never wanted to. I told her it was something she would hear when she got older; I promised to tell her when she was old enough to understand what I was going through at that period of my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever make good on that one… She wasn’t home that day, but remembered what it was like helping him through that rough patch. Entry 158: I don’t really have much to report today. My aunt visited me yesterday. It was quite a different experience for all three girls; Rain had met Aunt Tia before, of course, but was completely unaware of the connection. The fillies, however, were just overjoyed to learn that I had other family I was willing to talk to. They loved her, she loved them, sappy afternoon and all that. Scoots was so excited that she actually flew by accident! I found out that Cadie was dating an old friend, and even managed to laugh when I found out who it was. To think that my cousin would even consider a military coltfriend was truly amusing, almost Shakespearean in a way. I wished them well through Tia, and she left. All in all, there wasn’t much to report this time because, well, that’s really all that happened! Entry 163: Teaching the girls some maneuvers over the cliffs outside Ponyville…never did learn the local name for them. Oh well. We took some time for lunch about an hour into the lessons, and saw a few parasprites roaming the edge of the Everfree Forest. Heh, imagine if those things got loose in town! It would be a train wreck!! But that’ll never happen, so we can move on, I guess. Slip can already do a barrel roll! I swear, she’s gonna be a Wonderbolt someday, and her sister might not be far behind. They’d be the first sister pair in the ‘Bolts, at any rate. Stop brain!! Stop getting off topic! It’s just nice to be out with them and Rain for once…out in nature. Entry 209: I-I can’t really write right now…I’m in the hospital. Scoots and Slip crashed into each other yesterday. I couldn’t reach them before they hit the ground. My eyes have been glazed with tears for hours. I don’t know how this is going to go yet. Entry 210: Slip…slip…no, please…no Entry 211: A grey slab…that was my day. Deal with it. Entry 212: She’ll never know who I am…why can’t I just tell her!? Entry 213: Watching her grow up from afar has been nice these past few years. It’s good to know that she’s around such nice ponies. I think a trip to Surprise’s place sounds nice… Author’s Note: Well, writer’s block can kiss my ass!!!! It’s been a solid month since I started this story, and a good 3 weeks since I started this chapter! It feels great to be back with more Lightning ☺ More to come…hopefully sooner!!! 4A: Secret LoveChapter 4A: Secret Love The morning light of Celestia’s sun fell over three small graves on a hill. They had been there for years; hardly anypony paid them any mind now. By this time, the gray of the headstones was turning green from the moss and vines, the creeping plants slowly claiming the names engraved on the arched stone. SURPRISE SLIPSTREAM DASH LIGHTNING RUNNER Three names that, once, had been beloved parts of Ponyville, all reduced to a fading memory. The ponies that bore them were only remembered by those who thought about them often enough to recall the pain that surrounded the family. Few chose to dwell on that past, and those who did were slowly driven to either madness or total seclusion. There were few exceptions: ponies who, while not driven to insanity or suicide, seemed to relish in the agony of the loss. One of these scarce exceptions was now sleeping in front of the very graves that caused her such grief. Rainbow Dash awoke with the sun washing over her coat, yawning while trying to avoid the sun. Opening her eyes, she noticed something strange: her bed was gone. Sure, the outside was beautiful, but waking up there is something else entirely. Looking right, Rainbow saw the headstone and remembered everything. The funeral, the will, the letters and journal: it all came rushing back, along with the tears. For the first time in almost a week, the mare found herself able to cry, remembering how her brother had lived…and the secrets he had carried to his grave. Nopony ever knew how much pain he was truly in. A therapist he had gone to once speculated that the issue might be bipolar disorder, but there was never a second meeting to confirm those suspicions. This is what bothered Rainbow Dash the most: not knowing how she could have helped him. Standing up was a hard chore, taking almost ten minutes. Once done, it seemed that the only thing to do was sorting through the rest of the journals and letters found the previous night. Slowly, the rainbow-maned pegasus flew up to the gloomy cloud home. The once-white structure appeared to be turning grey in the absence of its owner. The walkway, at one time so welcoming and bright, was falling apart, portions of it evaporated. The door, at least, was intact and still looked inviting. The doorway revealed a house reeling from a weeks-long effort to clean it before being abandoned; this further confused Rainbow Dash. Why go to all this trouble to make the house…well, a home just to leave it—and everypony else—behind? This was a question that had plagued the mare ever since the first time she had entered this place after…well, since the count rose to three. Stumbling around a pile of boxes, Rainbow made her way to the stairway. This was probably the worst part of the house; everywhere, there were pictures of him and the girls. Now and then, she saw one of Surprise: the only mare he had ever seemed to care for other than Rainbow herself. Those pictures were always the worst to look at. Eventually, the door to Lightning’s room opened to a small pile of letters and a stack of journals, all waiting to be read. Rainbow Dash walked over and picked out a journal labeled “LH.” Inside was a small arsenal of notes and letters, all addressed to LH. They all looked like love letters, so who was LH? This question was one of many that plagued Rainbow as she opened the journal and began reading. Entry One: Leaving Ponyville was hard, but it was worth it to come to Canterlot. I managed to see some old friends, including Shiner. He hasn’t changed at all: still devoted to his sister (Twilight’s doing great and still doesn’t know my name, somehow) and that ridiculous marefriend of his…what was her name again? Mi Amore Cadenza or something like that. It’s weird not seeing Rain every day when I woke up, but so far, I’ve survived. Helping to coordinate the weather for the Summer Sun Celebration in Fillydelphia this year is a big job, and Ponyville has the best weather team in Equestria, which somepony said was my fault…not sure I like taking credit for other ponies’ work, but I’ll take it. I met a mare about my age the other day and we had lunch. For the life of me, I can’t remember her name, but there you go. All I know is that I really like her and look forward to trying to stay in touch. Entry Two: It’s been two weeks, and I’m still stuck in Canterlot working on the weather for an event that happened three days ago! Apparently, we have to spread the rain that was held up around the suburbs of Fillydelphia so we don’t experience a drought like last year’s…I really can’t imagine what could prompt such a thorough revamping of rain duty; it’s always been a pretty common practice in Ponyville to be good about the rainfall even through the Celebration. I guess we really are the best in the country. Entry Three: The time I spent away from Rain was both rewarding and terrifying. I flew into our house half-expecting a starved filly to lunge at me. Instead, I found her sitting on the couch, reading with her friend. I smiled and announced my return. Fluttershy just about jumped through the roof; I swear that filly has anxiety issues, bless her poor, fragile heart. Rain looked up, hiding the book quickly, and beamed at me. When I asked what they were reading, she reluctantly showed me. After a bout of laughing, I told her it was nothing to be ashamed of. After all, Mare Do-Well was really popular when I was her age, and it was nice for somepony like her to have a good role model. Later that night, Rain and Flutters (she asked me to call her that for the time being) settled in for the night, and I stayed up listening to some classical music. Gusthoof Mahler may not have been the most popular of his day, but the stallion was still a genius. After about an hour the symphony ended as gloriously as it had begun, and I decided to turn in for the night. Entry Four: I got a letter from the mare I met in Canterlot asking me how I was. I responded, perhaps too quickly, that I was fine and inquired as to how she was feeling. I don’t really know how things will go, but I got enough teasing from Shiner about the lunch we had, and I wasn’t going to let that stand in my way. What if it turned into a relationship? I know Surprise likes me—that much is painfully obvious to anypony with at least two of their sense intact—but she was persistent and damn, she was pretty. I don’t know how to kindly turn her down if she ever makes a move…better just tell her that there’s somepony else. That seems the nicest option right now. There was a letter right behind that page. As Rainbow Dash read it, her face fell further than she thought possible. Dear Lightning, I really enjoyed the time we were able to spend together in Canterlot, even if you had to be away at that weather thingy (still sounds boring, by the way). It was just so nice to meet somepony with such an appreciation for classical music. You are the nicest stallion I’ve ever met, and I’d love to spend more time with you. I know you went back to Ponyville, but is there any chance you can make it back up here for dinner sometime? Please let me know soon. All Love, Lyra Heartstrings Author's Note: Well, there you go! Part One of what will be a two-or-three-part chapter 4. This was to introduce an object of deep affection and push the mystery along, so please forgive the atrocious length. Once I get the other parts typed out, I might condense them into one or two parts depending on how long it ends up being. Bear with me, by nine subscribers and fewer favs, it will get better (and the chapters longer).
In MemoriamChapter 1: In Memoriam Please know that I still love all of you very much, and that I loathe the thought of leaving you alone in this world. But Rain, you have matured so much in these years, and I am so proud of you. I’ve felt like your father since you were barely old enough to walk, and I know now that I succeeded in that role. I just wish I could have done the same for Slip. I’m sorry… Rainbow Dash woke up. It was still dark outside, and she knew the sun wouldn’t be up for almost an hour. The words still rang in her head; it had been almost a year, but she still heard his voice every night. Why did he leave me? She asked herself, barely able to keep from crying. Rainbow was never able to figure out why her brother had killed himself. He had lasted 7 years after Slipstream died, watching his other daughter grow up without ever really knowing her. Rainbow had seen him break inside with each passing day, but thought his commitment to her and Scootaloo would keep him going. He had left a note on the table about an hour before his death. Rainbow realized, upon reading it, how much pain he had really lived with all those years. He felt like a failure as a father…he said he felt like his dad. This was something Rainbow never quite understood, as he had never opened up about their father. All she knew was that he seemed to be abusive, at least verbally, and had abandoned them when she was just a baby. Shortly afterward, Lightning had run away with her. It had been 5 years since Twilight Sparkle moved to Ponyville, and neither her nor any of the others—except Fluttershy—even knew Rainbow had ever had a brother. They didn’t know why she was so broken up about his death, or even that a death had occurred until a week later, when a funeral was held. The eulogies said he was a beloved member of the community a long time ago, and that his spirit lived on in his sister and daughter, who lived in Ponyville. At that point, the others had realized the significance to Rainbow, guessing that she was his sister, and moved to comfort her. Nopony was ever able to figure out exactly who the daughter was. Everypony had a hunch, but none said anything. Scootaloo was too naïve to really understand; she knew him as a reclusive friend of the family, nothing more. Nopony talked to her about it, and she never asked any questions. That was the way it worked. One day, about two weeks after the service, Rainbow was called over to the funeral home to discuss the will. She had been dreading this; news about how Lightning wanted what was left of his life divided among people who didn’t know him very well. At the home, the man on staff went through the will sensitively with Rainbow, detailing each point. He had more bits than she thought, and she had received all of it, along with his house. She decided immediately to put it on the market; she didn’t need that reminder hanging over her head, literally. Lastly, he left Scootaloo his old guitar and a few other knick-knacks from her early life. Rainbow went to Lightning’s home to clear out some of the stuff she could either keep or donate. She found several pictures of the two of them from points in their life here. The first time she had flown, her first day at the flight school, her and Gilda from years ago. She choked up at the memories hidden within the old house. Everywhere, there were signs of real life; a life lived, and yet to be lived. If he had all of this, why did he leave it? Even as she finished asking herself, she knew the answer: the tragedy in his life had overwhelmed the good. The horrible things that had happened to him were, admittedly, few and far between, but they were powerful and tragic enough to have a lasting effect on his mental and physical health. He had suffered through life, and in the end, death was his only remaining escape. She went into his bedroom, overcome with how personal it really was. There was art everywhere; the walls had become his own personal mural, detailing his life there. I never knew he could paint, Rainbow thought. “But, I guess, I didn’t know that much about him…” It was true. She didn’t know Lightning loved Surprise until well after she had died. Rainbow didn’t know he thought of her as a daughter in more ways than as a sister until fairly recently; he had said so in his will. She never knew he sang, danced, painted, drew, wrote, or did anything except, really, cook and laugh a lot. She did know that Surprise’s and Slipstream’s deaths had affected him deeply. She also assumed that he had been dating somepony in town for a couple years prior to his death, but would never tell her who it was. All she knew was that he seemed happy near the end, and she was happy for him in return. “I wish you’d told me more,” whispered Rainbow, fighting back tears she had suppressed since the funeral. “Why didn’t you let me in?” As she began to go through his things, she decided to keep the house; the paintings in here were too personal, too important. They connected her to a part of his personality she didn’t even know existed. It was a haunted part of him he never showed to anypony, a past she had never been told about. There were images of a monster she could only imagine were his memories of their father. She was prominent for a good stretch of it, always smiling…his version of a happy life. As Rainbow went through an old chest by Lightning’s bed, she came across a locked box. She put it aside and thought nothing of it. After hours of going through old memories, deciding which ones to keep and which to throw away, she couldn’t bring herself to toss it. Each day brought up fresh memories, every one harder than the last. Slip’s brief time alive was prominent for most of the remainder of the mural and the various items hidden around the house. Most of them featured his daughter as happy, none truly sad. Rainbow realized on her last full day there that he had never let go of either Slip or Scoots. He killed himself to be with his daughter again, at the expense of watching his remaining filly grow up not knowing who he was. She got lost in thought for hours. Old letters he’d left her when he went out for something. Notes from when they’d started living here: that’s what made Rainbow stop. Up until then, there had been a lot of memories, but nothing written by her brother. Here, to her, was proof that he had really existed, that others would truly mourn his death. It pushed her over the edge; she cried for an hour. When she opened her eyes, she looked down into the almost-empty chest, and she saw a key there. She picked it up and put it on the dresser. I wonder what this opens, she thought. It’s nice. Must be something old. It was getting dark, and she had to go home for the night. She locked up the house, looked back once more, and flew home slowly. She had missed Pinkie Pie’s party to celebrate the budding romance between Fluttershy and Twilight: something even Twilight hadn’t seen coming. It was still a young relationship, and only time would tell if it would last. When Rainbow woke up the next morning, she reluctantly returned to Lightning’s home for what she hoped was the last time. The first thing she saw was the key, suddenly remembering the small box. She fit the key into the lock and turned it. The latch flipped open… Author’s Note: I’m baaaack!!!! I know, it’s been virtually no time at all, but I’ve been getting suggestions for a few days now, and I had time today to type the rest of this out (started it two days ago). I hope you enjoy it!! I think I’ve really found a franchise with this guy ☺
In His MindChapter 2: Inside His Mind If I never see the light of day, let it be said that I lived my life as well as I could. I realize that sounds cheesy, but that’s how it was. My own life has been a constant upheaval of what should have been happiness and introduction of constant tragedy. I’ve never been a subtle creature, and I have experienced both the pros and cons of that. Through this tendency, I have made friends, lost love, and coped with depression for years now. But I fear I may be starting to lose this battle. Was I wrong to hate myself for what I did to Surprise? Is my own suffering enough to make up for that? Both are questions I had wanted so bad to ask her, but never got the chance to. I tortured myself for months trying to work up the courage to pose the question I really wanted to: did I deserve forgiveness? I wanted to ask her just as much as myself, but I was never able to. It took enough out of me to remember what happened that day to bring myself to face my decisions since then. I used to be happy. Now, I’m not so sure… Rainbow had to put it down. She had found Lightning’s journal in the box she’d opened about an hour before. What she had just finished reading was from just before Slip and Scoots were born, from his final depressive spout before becoming a father. He had been outwardly friendly to anypony who would still talk to him, but she remembered his drinking and crying at home; he had cried himself to sleep for over a month before Surprise…died. One more thing Rainbow was always unable to bring herself to accept was Surprise killing herself. The short time she was able to spend with her nieces taught her one thing: a mare doesn’t commit suicide when she has fillies to look after. Mother instincts won’t allow it. At least there’s something left of him. After the burial, she was broken on the inside. Scootaloo couldn’t remember anything, and Nurse Redheart had said she would never fly. Since then, the two had fallen into a give-and-take relationship: Rainbow gave her skill, devotion, and inspiration, and Scoots soaked it up. However, Scootaloo had become her own pony; she was no longer just Lightning’s daughter. A good deal of the house had been emptied out during Rainbow’s long purge, especially the pictures. After all that, all that remained was the journal Rain was now reading. My mind has been to Tartarus and back. Every day is a fresh torture for me…I realize that these are basically the same, but I’m trying to find a way to put it that causes me the least pain. The only way for me to do that is to play with my daughters for a while. Slipstream: an interesting name, to be sure, but she’s still amazing. Her smile is intoxicating, her laughter a beautiful song. She reminds me of Surprise, a mare that never knew I loved her. After years of watching over Rain, the company of fillies feels…dry, I guess. Raising my own daughters is amazing, but there seems to be no excitement in it anymore. Everypony I know here took until Slip and Scoots came home to find out that Rain wasn’t my daughter, and when they realized that they, the Cakes in particular, became a lot easier to deal with. I guess life was just a blur up until a few months ago, when I brought the girls back to my home. Everything slowed down watching them run around the house, Slipstream especially. She’s a tiny bullet on her hooves…kind of freaks me out when I consider what she’ll be like as a flier. There has always been a certain dichotomy to my emotions. If I’m not suicidal, I’m overjoyed to be alive. I think my old shrink called it ‘bipolar,’ or something. Right now, despite the routine of caring for Slip and Scoots, I’m happy. I can honestly say that I don’t care what anypony says about me in the future; at least the fillies stopped rumors that I like colts…but that’s beside the point. The girls have me in a happy stage of life. I can’t be sad around them, and I’ve tried. I try to equate them with her, but I always end up seeing Slip as Slip and Scoots as Scoots. It was, and is, impossible to relate them to the suffering I’ve endured. My whole life was horrible until they came along. I finally have a real family, one I’m not afraid to see every day. It’s comforting to know that I can be happy again. It read like a novel. The flow was erratic, matching his personality flawlessly. Rainbow had no idea what to make of it, but she felt compelled to continue reading. The journal was impossible to put down. Feeling a thousand and one emotions must be beautiful. If only I could know what it’s like to have a midpoint between ecstasy and crippling depression, life would be so much easier to deal with. Rainbow said it seemed that her friend, Fluttershy, always felt five different things at once. I’ve met her; she might be sad, angry, guilty, indifferent, or a psychopath for all I know. She always has the same timid look on her face. Watching her, though, I can’t help but see a bit of myself there. I was very reserved as a young colt…I guess that could be chalked up to my father again. I was never really given a chance to spread my wings (no pun intended), and I didn’t make many friends. Those that I did were very close and gave me somepony to confide in. After a time, even they abandoned me, and I began giving up on life. I suppose starting anew with Rain proved my salvation: it brought me back from the darkest place I’d ever been. Until we got to Ponyville, my plan had been to give her to an orphanage and kill myself I’m glad I chose not to. Again, Rainbow stopped reading. She had never known this about him, how dark his life had been. Lightning always seemed the epitome of happiness in her foalhood, and it was hard to believe that he had seriously considered suicide at such an early age. She was past tears by now; reading this had dried them up. As much as I’d like to forget what happened and move on pretending I had no children, I can’t. I’ll have to live out my days knowing that, because of me, my daughter is dead, her sister crippled for life. I cry myself to sleep every night wishing Scoots and Slip were still here with me, hoping for the impossible. If I can ever draw any comfort in this tragedy, it’s the service. Laying a filly to rest is hard enough when it’s not yours, but no parent should have to bury their own child. I could barely speak at the funeral. I tried talking about how much Slip meant to me, but I was never able to truly communicate it. The bond there is too strong to put into words. The other parents in Ponyville understood what I was suffering through; the thought of losing a child is unbearable to them, and they would never wish it upon anypony. I only hope that, soon, I can learn to forgive myself for my role in her death. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Scoots what had happened; it seemed evil to tell her since she couldn’t remember anything before the doctor told her she would never fly. She’ll figure it out soon enough, I expect. Only halfway into the journal’s pages, and Rainbow was having a hard time reading any more of it. She knew Lightning blamed himself for that accident, but not that completely. She always figured he had chalked at least some of it up to random chance… As she put the journal back in the box, she lost her balance. The next thing she knew, the box was open on the floor, with pieces of paper spilling out of it from a hidden compartment in the bottom. She picked up the first one and read: Dear Scootaloo… Hi everypony!! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up! I've been tweaking it for days now, and I've tried to follow the feedback. Thank you so much for your suggestions, and please, for the love of Celestia, stay tuned! I'm hoping to write longer chapters at some point, by the way...hopefully surpassing 2,000-3,000 words from now on :)
ScootalooChapter 3: Scootaloo Dear Scootaloo, I honestly do not know how to start this letter. Should I explain about your parents and the circumstances of how you lost your memory? Or should I just say I still couldn’t talk about them? The years haven’t exactly been kind to me, and I hope I can explain things well. I can’t bring myself to describe the pain I have caused myself all these years, watching you grow and never feeling capable of claiming you as my daughter. First and foremost, I want you to know that I loved your mother very, very much. She was a bright spot in my thoughts for years, and she has never left them. My pain comes from not being there for her when she needed me the most, and living with that guilt. Dear Scoots, I am your father Dearest Scootaloo, I know I’ve never been there for you, but I want you to know I’ll be here whenever you need me. I love you so much My Daughter, I know I’ve never really tried contacting you, and I cannot apologize enough that I wasn’t there for you. Watching you grow up from afar is the only thing that has kept me going all these long years. The time has passed so slowly, I can’t bear it. You have been such a light in my life, a source of immeasurable happiness. I suppose I owe you an explanation…reasons for me not being there. First off, realize that I loved your mother very much and wished only the best for her. I know that your sister loved you, too. Scoots, we all thought the world of you, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be a happy life for any of us. When I found you next to your sister, I—well, words cannot describe how deep of a depression you two pulled me out of. The day I brought you home was the happiest in a long time for me. You and Slipstream were so innocent, so much of what I couldn’t be. I was nice to have that…it was nice to have you. Then, the day before you woke up in the hospital, there was an accident. You and Slip collided in midair; I wasn’t able to save either of you. It’s my fault she’s dead…and that you can’t fly anymore. That’s why I didn’t tell you who I was when you woke up: I didn’t want you thinking your father was a failure. The worst part of it was knowing that I had done everything right. I’d raised you after Surprise died, I gave you all I had, and I still failed. I hope that, in time, you can forgive me, and who knows? Maybe you’ll even shock me and fly someday! I’m no doctor, but I have to believe that all injuries can heal with time. I will always love you, Scoots. More than you can imagine. Love, Lightning Runner P.S. The world is such a happy place For fillies just like you. So go put on that happy face And see what it can do. Rainbow Dash choked on a laugh while fighting back tears reading that last line. It was part of a song Lightning used to sing the girls when they got sad. She stared at the papers in front of her, amazed at the effort put into this. How many times did he start? Are there dozens or hundreds more? The questions continued piling up the longer she thought. After reading more failed letters, Rainbow decided it was time to at least eat something. Leaving the room, she paused at the door and looked back. It seemed so peaceful, almost like nothing had happened. A pair of jaded magenta eyes tore themselves away from the memories contained there…at least for now. OW!!! The day was looking up a bit until then. There had been enough good food in the house to make a decent daisy sandwich, and there was water spiked with rainbows in the fridge. Admittedly, it was spicy, but he had always been good at making light of the worst in the world. And now something had stubbed Rainbow’s hoof as she re-entered his bedroom. A quick search of the cluttered floor revealed a book: actually, it looked more like a diary of sorts. On the cover was a picture of Scootaloo, flying over Ponyville some years ago. The image sent chills up the cyan pegasus’ spine. How long had he had this? What was in it? She opened it and read. Day One: Today, I brought home the fillies from Surprise’s house. I don’t know what to make of all this. I am a father! I guess I should be happy to say it, to know it…but I’m just terrified. Rain is, as usual, just happy to have other fillies around. I don’t know what I’ll name them yet. Day Two: So, Rain and I finally decided on names. The purple one is Slipstream, and the orange Scootaloo. They just seemed to fit. I’m happier today, but I don’t know how long that will last. Since it’s me, let’s just assume I’ll be down again in a week. Only time will tell now. Day Eight: Good news: I’m not waking up screaming anymore. Bad news: She’s still there. I don’t know how to describe it, but I don’t care that I dream about Surprise anymore. The fillies have brought out a side of me I haven’t felt in a long time…not since I moved here with Rain, actually. Surprise’s first party for us was the last time I really felt the same attachment. It was the first time the responsibility of taking care of my sister hit me. Now, feeling that again, I can’t help but look forward to it. This is too weird! Day Thirteen: Almost two weeks…I can’t believe it’s been almost two weeks. I buried her alone today. There will be a formal ceremony tomorrow. Surprise always loved that old oak tree; it’s a perfect resting place. The fillies are still as amazing as ever, but I haven’t really been there for them lately. Too much going on, you know? Day 27: I know, I know. It’s been a while. I’ve been dealing with stuff. It’s just hard to work through my time with the weather team when they all keep offering their condolences for Surprise. Why do they suddenly like me? Hell, I didn’t even know I loved her until it was too late! Celestia knows I could have done so much better, and I threw away the only chance at love I’ve ever really had. That said, I need a mental note here: make time for the girls. It’s not fair to have Rain watch over them all the time. She doesn’t have that much of a social life now that she’s no longer at the Flight Academy. Day 58: Slip flew today. I can’t even believe it! Scoots just stared up at her wondering why she can’t be like her big sis (apparently Slip was born first…one of many things I found out after the funeral). Neither of them can speak yet, but I’m looking forward to that day. Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but smile; she remembered that day as if it were yesterday. Skipping several pages, she reached an entry she had hoped never to find. Entry 137: I stopped trying to remember the days. It’s easy enough when you write every day, but I just skipped a whole month, so there’s that idea out the window. Slip found the pictures of me as a colt. She asked me who the old stallion in one of the pictures was…why I had a black eye. Somehow, I knew I’d eventually have to face this, but I never wanted to. I told her it was something she would hear when she got older; I promised to tell her when she was old enough to understand what I was going through at that period of my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever make good on that one… She wasn’t home that day, but remembered what it was like helping him through that rough patch. Entry 158: I don’t really have much to report today. My aunt visited me yesterday. It was quite a different experience for all three girls; Rain had met Aunt Tia before, of course, but was completely unaware of the connection. The fillies, however, were just overjoyed to learn that I had other family I was willing to talk to. They loved her, she loved them, sappy afternoon and all that. Scoots was so excited that she actually flew by accident! I found out that Cadie was dating an old friend, and even managed to laugh when I found out who it was. To think that my cousin would even consider a military coltfriend was truly amusing, almost Shakespearean in a way. I wished them well through Tia, and she left. All in all, there wasn’t much to report this time because, well, that’s really all that happened! Entry 163: Teaching the girls some maneuvers over the cliffs outside Ponyville…never did learn the local name for them. Oh well. We took some time for lunch about an hour into the lessons, and saw a few parasprites roaming the edge of the Everfree Forest. Heh, imagine if those things got loose in town! It would be a train wreck!! But that’ll never happen, so we can move on, I guess. Slip can already do a barrel roll! I swear, she’s gonna be a Wonderbolt someday, and her sister might not be far behind. They’d be the first sister pair in the ‘Bolts, at any rate. Stop brain!! Stop getting off topic! It’s just nice to be out with them and Rain for once…out in nature. Entry 209: I-I can’t really write right now…I’m in the hospital. Scoots and Slip crashed into each other yesterday. I couldn’t reach them before they hit the ground. My eyes have been glazed with tears for hours. I don’t know how this is going to go yet. Entry 210: Slip…slip…no, please…no Entry 211: A grey slab…that was my day. Deal with it. Entry 212: She’ll never know who I am…why can’t I just tell her!? Entry 213: Watching her grow up from afar has been nice these past few years. It’s good to know that she’s around such nice ponies. I think a trip to Surprise’s place sounds nice… Author’s Note: Well, writer’s block can kiss my ass!!!! It’s been a solid month since I started this story, and a good 3 weeks since I started this chapter! It feels great to be back with more Lightning ☺ More to come…hopefully sooner!!!
4A: Secret LoveChapter 4A: Secret Love The morning light of Celestia’s sun fell over three small graves on a hill. They had been there for years; hardly anypony paid them any mind now. By this time, the gray of the headstones was turning green from the moss and vines, the creeping plants slowly claiming the names engraved on the arched stone. SURPRISE SLIPSTREAM DASH LIGHTNING RUNNER Three names that, once, had been beloved parts of Ponyville, all reduced to a fading memory. The ponies that bore them were only remembered by those who thought about them often enough to recall the pain that surrounded the family. Few chose to dwell on that past, and those who did were slowly driven to either madness or total seclusion. There were few exceptions: ponies who, while not driven to insanity or suicide, seemed to relish in the agony of the loss. One of these scarce exceptions was now sleeping in front of the very graves that caused her such grief. Rainbow Dash awoke with the sun washing over her coat, yawning while trying to avoid the sun. Opening her eyes, she noticed something strange: her bed was gone. Sure, the outside was beautiful, but waking up there is something else entirely. Looking right, Rainbow saw the headstone and remembered everything. The funeral, the will, the letters and journal: it all came rushing back, along with the tears. For the first time in almost a week, the mare found herself able to cry, remembering how her brother had lived…and the secrets he had carried to his grave. Nopony ever knew how much pain he was truly in. A therapist he had gone to once speculated that the issue might be bipolar disorder, but there was never a second meeting to confirm those suspicions. This is what bothered Rainbow Dash the most: not knowing how she could have helped him. Standing up was a hard chore, taking almost ten minutes. Once done, it seemed that the only thing to do was sorting through the rest of the journals and letters found the previous night. Slowly, the rainbow-maned pegasus flew up to the gloomy cloud home. The once-white structure appeared to be turning grey in the absence of its owner. The walkway, at one time so welcoming and bright, was falling apart, portions of it evaporated. The door, at least, was intact and still looked inviting. The doorway revealed a house reeling from a weeks-long effort to clean it before being abandoned; this further confused Rainbow Dash. Why go to all this trouble to make the house…well, a home just to leave it—and everypony else—behind? This was a question that had plagued the mare ever since the first time she had entered this place after…well, since the count rose to three. Stumbling around a pile of boxes, Rainbow made her way to the stairway. This was probably the worst part of the house; everywhere, there were pictures of him and the girls. Now and then, she saw one of Surprise: the only mare he had ever seemed to care for other than Rainbow herself. Those pictures were always the worst to look at. Eventually, the door to Lightning’s room opened to a small pile of letters and a stack of journals, all waiting to be read. Rainbow Dash walked over and picked out a journal labeled “LH.” Inside was a small arsenal of notes and letters, all addressed to LH. They all looked like love letters, so who was LH? This question was one of many that plagued Rainbow as she opened the journal and began reading. Entry One: Leaving Ponyville was hard, but it was worth it to come to Canterlot. I managed to see some old friends, including Shiner. He hasn’t changed at all: still devoted to his sister (Twilight’s doing great and still doesn’t know my name, somehow) and that ridiculous marefriend of his…what was her name again? Mi Amore Cadenza or something like that. It’s weird not seeing Rain every day when I woke up, but so far, I’ve survived. Helping to coordinate the weather for the Summer Sun Celebration in Fillydelphia this year is a big job, and Ponyville has the best weather team in Equestria, which somepony said was my fault…not sure I like taking credit for other ponies’ work, but I’ll take it. I met a mare about my age the other day and we had lunch. For the life of me, I can’t remember her name, but there you go. All I know is that I really like her and look forward to trying to stay in touch. Entry Two: It’s been two weeks, and I’m still stuck in Canterlot working on the weather for an event that happened three days ago! Apparently, we have to spread the rain that was held up around the suburbs of Fillydelphia so we don’t experience a drought like last year’s…I really can’t imagine what could prompt such a thorough revamping of rain duty; it’s always been a pretty common practice in Ponyville to be good about the rainfall even through the Celebration. I guess we really are the best in the country. Entry Three: The time I spent away from Rain was both rewarding and terrifying. I flew into our house half-expecting a starved filly to lunge at me. Instead, I found her sitting on the couch, reading with her friend. I smiled and announced my return. Fluttershy just about jumped through the roof; I swear that filly has anxiety issues, bless her poor, fragile heart. Rain looked up, hiding the book quickly, and beamed at me. When I asked what they were reading, she reluctantly showed me. After a bout of laughing, I told her it was nothing to be ashamed of. After all, Mare Do-Well was really popular when I was her age, and it was nice for somepony like her to have a good role model. Later that night, Rain and Flutters (she asked me to call her that for the time being) settled in for the night, and I stayed up listening to some classical music. Gusthoof Mahler may not have been the most popular of his day, but the stallion was still a genius. After about an hour the symphony ended as gloriously as it had begun, and I decided to turn in for the night. Entry Four: I got a letter from the mare I met in Canterlot asking me how I was. I responded, perhaps too quickly, that I was fine and inquired as to how she was feeling. I don’t really know how things will go, but I got enough teasing from Shiner about the lunch we had, and I wasn’t going to let that stand in my way. What if it turned into a relationship? I know Surprise likes me—that much is painfully obvious to anypony with at least two of their sense intact—but she was persistent and damn, she was pretty. I don’t know how to kindly turn her down if she ever makes a move…better just tell her that there’s somepony else. That seems the nicest option right now. There was a letter right behind that page. As Rainbow Dash read it, her face fell further than she thought possible. Dear Lightning, I really enjoyed the time we were able to spend together in Canterlot, even if you had to be away at that weather thingy (still sounds boring, by the way). It was just so nice to meet somepony with such an appreciation for classical music. You are the nicest stallion I’ve ever met, and I’d love to spend more time with you. I know you went back to Ponyville, but is there any chance you can make it back up here for dinner sometime? Please let me know soon. All Love, Lyra Heartstrings Author's Note: Well, there you go! Part One of what will be a two-or-three-part chapter 4. This was to introduce an object of deep affection and push the mystery along, so please forgive the atrocious length. Once I get the other parts typed out, I might condense them into one or two parts depending on how long it ends up being. Bear with me, by nine subscribers and fewer favs, it will get better (and the chapters longer).
