Friends

by KobaloiJ

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 7554

I see friendship all around me, but I'm never a part of it.

I see friendship all around me, but I'm never a part of it. The other ponies, they pass me by without a single thought. Maybe, just maybe, one day that will change.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-28 14:08:16 UTC

Party

Friends

I see friendship all around me.

The other ponies, they're all friends. They all play, they all dance, they all joke and they all laugh. They all pass me by without a thought, just nodding in my direction by sheer instinct alone. Rarely do they talk with me, play with me, dance with me, joke with me... But that won't stop me from making them happy. It never has.

I look around and see everything I could ever ask for, everything I could ever possible dream of, everything that makes me who I am. Ponies by the snack table, noses spewing punch as they laugh from a joke being told; some over there, by the sofa, just relaxing and talking amongst themselves; others still, wandering around aimlessly, chatting with anypony they happen upon. Friends as far as the eye can see, from wall to wall, corner to corner. It just makes me so happy, seeing them so happy. It always has.

The punch bowl is empty; I should go refill it. As I bounce into the kitchen to make some more, I see Lyra playing music on her lyre, chattering ponies clustered around her. Over there, Rainbow Dash, a wide-eyed Scootaloo grinning in childish glee as her idol acts out one of her many stories. And then I lose them, my sight passing the corner before it lands on the kitchen cabinet on the far side of the wall. It doesn't take long to refill the punch bowl: just a quick little opening of a package and mixing it up with my hoof. Mrs. Cake always tells me to use the spoon, but that's no fun.

The punch bowl's back on the table, and I see a few ponies headed straight towards me. My heart skips a beat or five, and my smile grows in intensity as they approach. My eyes are ready to pop out of their sockets and I can barely keep myself from springing up to the ceiling. Closer they come, and closer my heart threatens to burst from excitement. They're but a few feet off now, so I hop over to them before I collapse into a fit of agonizing excitement. Just a few short little jumps more, and...

Two of them nod and smile ate me as they pass by, the others moving off to either side so as not to bump into me. They're just headed for the punch bowl, of course. Why would anypony want to speak to silly ol' Pinkie? That would make them just as silly as I am, I guess... It's hard to remember that sometimes. I stop my grin from wavering and bound off towards the small, empty DJ booth. Just as I'm browsing my selection, I remember Lyra's music playing from before. It wouldn't be very nice to ruin her concentration and disappoint her crowd, and so I step away and head off to make sure all of my guests are having a fun time. After all, if they're happy, then I'm happy. And Pinkie is always happy.

"Hello there, Pinkie Pie! Wonderful party."

I stop mid-bounce and turn to the voice. The speaker doesn't really surprise me as much as it used to; Rarity always compliments my parties, when she shows up at them. Fluttershy isn't with her this time, though. That pony needs to stop being so shy all the time... Oh well. Rarity's here, and that's all that matters right now.

"Hi, Rarity! How're-" I start to say, but she's already walking off.

I don't really want her to leave as soon as she usually does, so I hop over and make sure I stay on her side. She doesn't seem to appreciate the contact, though, just as usual. She backs away and looks at me like I'm crazy or something, then her startled look turns into pure, unfiltered terror.

"Pinkie! Y-your hoof!" she practically screams, and so I look at all of my hooves. Nothing seems to be wrong with them, as far as I can tell. It's probably nothing, anyways. Rarity's always so concerned with little itty bitty details that don't even really matter. I'm not exactly sure what she's going on about, so I look back up and see her stuttering. "I-it... it's...

"It's all wet!"

Oh. Of course she'd overreact about a little bit of punch on my hoof. I don't get why she's concerned with other ponies' cleanliness and her own at the same time. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Nonetheless, I realized a loooong time ago that ignoring Rarity would only lead to disaster, and so I start licking my hoof clean.

"Pinkie, what're you doing?!?" Rarity screams, pushing my face away from my still-wet hoof.

What an odd question. It's not like cleaning my hoof can look like very many other things. Maybe she thinks I'm tasting myself, satisfying some hidden cannibalistic desires or something. I dunno. There isn't much point in thinking of things she might think I'm doing.

"I'm cleaning my hoof, silly! See?" I still wasn't very sure if she thought my hoof was redder than normal because of punch, or because of blood she might've thought I was tasting. You can never be too sure, so I decided it was the best time to give her a closer look.

She didn't take it so well, though. Instead of examining the punch with her eyes all squinty and focused, she started pushing me out the door. Of course, I wasn't one to complain.

"Come now, Pinkie. We're going to the Boutique to get you nice and cleaned up."

That seemed promising enough. She's really the only pony to ever invite me over, even if it's just to clean me up from all of my 'fashion disasters' or whatever. A little bit of idle talk, some stories, maybe I could convince her to let me stay the night this time. It was starting to get pretty dark, after all.

"And then maybe I could finally fit you for a dress or two! You're always throwing such nice parties, I should really ask you more often. Oh! And you don't have to worry about those old designs from that other time. I already have a few new ones made just for you, Pinkie! Oh, I just know you're going to love them."

Yeah, she could make me some dresses. Maybe after the board games or the scary ghost stories or the- wait. Dresses? That again? Last time she wanted to fit me, I got all itchy and twitchy and it was so booring and... But I really wanna hang out with her, but I really don't want to be bored and stuff... But there isn't much point in arguing with myself, and when I argue with myself, there's only one option: Escape. A nice, simple little plan, with absolutely no way for it to go wrong.

And so I ran off as quickly as I could. Rarity looks so silly covered in confetti and streamers, 'specially when she has that look on her face. She looks like she's trying to melt my party cannon with her laser eyes or something. Maybe I shouldn't have left it behind... Its sacrifice will not have been in vain; I'll make sure of it.

I stop running when I reach Sugarcube Corner and look back. Rarity's still just a few feet away, staring at my party cannon. Not knowing why she's so interested in it, I shrug and head inside. It's amazing how little changes from minute to minute; Scootaloo is still drooling over Rainbow Dash, Lyra is still playing music, the ponies over by the sofa are still talking about whatever.

Trying as hard as I can to close the door as quietly as I could to not disturb anypony, I realize it's a vain attempt. They're all staring at me, and they probably have been even before I opened the door. Normally, it'd be great to have ponies focus on me during a party, yet this is a totally different kind of attention. It's the kind of attention you get when you do something totally crazy and unexpected and the whole thing just turns awkward really fast, and I don't like it. So I just smile and bounce over to the punch bowl for a drink, then run around making sure everypony's okay. And then I get some more punch, and run around again. And again. And again. And soon the moon's high in the sky and the three remaining guests smile at me and wave goodbye as they head out the door.

It's almost how funny it is, everything being so quiet after a party. I head over to my super special birthday cake I made just for myself; there's one slice left, with a little note saying, "Thanks for the party, and happy birthday!" I don't know who left the note, since nopony ever has before. It's still enough to bring a smile to my heart and I gobble up the cake in one bite. It just makes it that much more special that somepony saved it just for me, and the smile stays on my face as I clean up the mess everypony made. I just wish I'd known who did it, if only to give them a super-duper-extra-special-amazing hug or maybe a thank-you party tomorrow.

It doesn't take long for me to finish cleaning up, so I shut off the lights and start to head upstairs. Halfway up, my hoof gets caught on something and I trip over it. It's not that hard for me to gather my bearings, and I look back at whatever I tripped on. It's too dark to make anything out, though, so I reach over to pick it up and feel something soft. And warm. And strangely pony-like. It doesn't matter to me, though, and I pick it, or them, up and continue on my way to my room. Only when I turn on the lights can I make out who it was I tripped on.

Yellow coat, long pink mane, wings, and- weird. There's a pencil stuck in her mane... I didn't even know Fluttershy showed up. It doesn't really matter that she never said hi, though. She's way too shy for that. Just the fact that she showed up and stayed long enough to fall asleep from being tired is enough for me. She's really lightweight, too, so it's no problem to ease her up onto my bed and under the covers. I give her forehead a little kiss goodnight and tuck her in before getting myself nice and cozy with a blanket and pillow on the ground.

Maybe, just this once, I can have a slumber party.

Unicorn

Friends

I see friendship all around me.

The other ponies, they're all friends. They all play, they all prance, they all joke and they all laugh. They all pass me by without a thought, just smiling at me and thanking me for my parties from force of habit alone. Rarely do they talk with me, play with me, prance with me, joke with me... But that won't stop me from making them happy. It never has.

I look around and see everything I could ever hope for, everything I could ever dream of having, everything that makes me do what I do. Friends. I just wish that once, just once, I could call myself somepony else's friend. But that doesn't matter. As long as they're happy, I'm happy. Friends as far as the eye can see, from street to street, one side of Ponyville to the other. It just makes me so happy, seeing them so happy. It always has.

I turn around and glance down the streets some more, thinking. It's always way too hard to decide where to go and what to do on days off. I could go to the marketplace and buy some stuff, but I can't think of anything I need. I could go to the park and frolic through the flowers like a little filly, but that's just silly. So is rhyming, but that's silly in a good way. I could go to Rarity's place and finally get fitted for a dress, but that's just too boring. I could go to Applejack's farm and help her buck apples, but that's work and today's my day off. So many choices, and nothing to do.

I decide to head to the library and check out a book for Fluttershy. Surely that would let me stay at her place for a little while. We don't even have to hang out or anything; having company is more than enough for me. All of a sudden, my Pinkie Sense starts acting up. It's hard to figure out what it's trying to tell me sometimes, especially when I shake and twitch and wiggle in a combination that's never happened before, and especially-er when I can't even keep track of what's doing what, when. It finally stops, and I look around. Nothing's happened, everything's the same. Bon-Bon over there, relaxing on a bench, talking with Lyra. A group of colts there, trying to get the most out of their weekend. A royal chariot there, dropping off a purple unicorn before it heads off for its return trip.

Wait, that's not the same. Craving a break in my daily schedule, I set course for the unicorn. Something crosses my mind just then, and I stop a few feet in front of her. Maybe, if I hold back on what everypony else calls 'craziness', she'll want to be my friend. Maybe that's why they all avoid me, or talk to me just to not be rude. And so I simply stare at her while her little dragon friend tells her something. I'm not exactly sure what he said since my mind was too busy realizing a little dragon was talking right in front of me, but I snap back to reality when the unicorn speaks.

Since this was the perfect opportunity to mess with me, my mind didn't seem to want to snap back fast enough, and whatever she just said completely eludes me. Now I feel bad for not listening to her and she's probably expecting an answer or something, and I can't just sit here and say nothing because that would be weird and I don't want her to think I'm weird. I don't think I can even come up with a reply, my heart is beating too fast and I'm feeling really, really excited and pressured now. The perfect plan to befriend this mare pops into my head, and it's so amazingly awesome that I'm out of breath. And being out of breath is definitely not a good thing.

To fix my out-of-breathness, I breathe in so hard and so fast that I find myself up in the air, and now the unicorn is looking at me like I'm crazy. I don't want another pony thinking I'm crazy, especially a new pony I've never met before, so I decide to just run away really fast to calm myself down. By the time that happens and I've mustered up enough courage to go back to where they were for a second chance, the unicorn and little dragon are gone, and I think I might've done something wrong. It doesn't help that I'm probably right, either.

Anyways, I decide not to look for them for a while and head off to the library to set up a party. I'm not sure why, but something's telling me she's going to stop by the library later tonight. It doesn't take too long to set everything up, thanks to my handy party supplies stashed around Ponyville, and now I have a few hours to invite as many ponies as I can to the party... Which leaves me with a couple hours to myself, and nothing to do. Oh well, that's a problem for later. Right now, I have invitations to send.

The invitations are out, everypony's coming, and the library's ready for a party. I've already run out of ideas for what to do until it starts, so i guess I'll just wait for everypony to show up. None of the guests have arrived yet, but there's still an hour or so until the party starts, which means I should probably do something to pass the time.

Books are out of the question, I can't focus on them for too long. Unless they're picture books or comics, those are fine. If I happen to spot one, I guess I'll read it. For now, I'll just... hmmmm. I'll just...make a sandwich, yeah. That's easy enough. Maybe it's too easy, and easy things aren't much fun. And sandwiches don't really take much time to make, either. I could probably add some more decorations, but... I dunno.

There's nothing to do in a library. At all. Other than reading, which is even worse than nothing. There's a comic book over there, The Amazing Spidermare, so I might as well read it. I hop up to the top shelf and pluck it from its hiding spot behind some other big, boring books, and fling myself on to a seat to read. Which wasn't a very good idea, considering the seat, if you can even call it that, is just a slab of wood.

About a half-hour later, I check the time and set out the refreshments, pouring myself a glass of punch and taking it to the desk I've been reading at. I set the glass down just a little bit too fast, and a drop flies out of it and onto the book. Oh well, it's just one drop. Nopony will really care, so I just forget about it and start sippin' away while I read.

A time passed, and while I read on, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some pony gently rapping at the library door.

"It's a visitor," I clamor, "Tapping at the library door." So I get up, set my book down, and open the door. There are four guests here, about a quarter of an hour early, which is great! Now I might have something to do while I wait. "Hi!" I say, and welcome them in with an elaborate wave of my hoof.

They smile at me, nod at me, head in, sit down, and start talking amongst themselves. I smile at them and head into the kitchen and whip out a nice, big plate. There are plenty of snacks around, so I load it up with a round of hors d'oeuvres and bring it out for us to eat while we wait. As I try to enter their conversation, though, everything goes quiet. It's normal for ponies to shut up when I try to talk to them, and there is knocking at the door once again, saving us from further awkwardness.

After the new arrivals are settled, I just wait by the door to allow the rest of the guests in when they come. Then at long last, the last final pony enters, and the lights are shut off.

Everypony's here, save for the guest of honor, and the darkness is doing well at keeping my excitement hidden. The four-minutes of torturous waiting has been killing me for hours. I can't take much more of this. I'm just about ready to kick that door open and- Oh, look. It's open. Guess that means it's time to jump out and start this thing. Or, maybe it could wait. She's talking to somepony, and I should probably focus on what she's saying. It takes a while for me to calm down enough to focus, but I can finally pick something up.

"...[size=2]that Nightmare Moon[/size] [size=4]is coming, and we're[/size] [size=7]running out of time![/size] I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time. Now, where's the light?"

Ahh, the key word. The lights should shoot on any moment now, and then I'll be able to forget about how she doesn't want friends. That's silly, everypony wants friends. How could you not want friends? Friends are what make you happy and not lonely and happy and stuff. Granted, I don't exactly have a friend of my own, but still. Friends make you happy, and not wanting friends means you're sad. This isn't about making a friend for myself, anymore. It's all up to me to see this mare happy, there's nopony else that can do it. It's my duty to make this new mare happy and not friend-less.

Aaaand, there's the lights. And my retinas with them. I'm sort of dazed from the sudden brightness, something that's never happened before. After all the other ponies have probably yelled, "Surprise!" I finally gather my bearings. Yet, something's off about this whole picture. Nopony's moving or talking or playing or joking, except for the new unicorn. She's actually moving quite oddly, shaking me with one of her hooves. Come to think of it, she looks really familiar, almost like I've known her my whole life. My mind tries to grasp both of those things at the same time, and now my head hurts. She gives me one more gentle shove.

And I wake up.

Farm

Friends

I see friendship all around me.

At least, while I keep my eyes closed. I can still see the unicorn shaking me ever so gently, as long as they're shut tight. My sister notices that I'm awake and heads out for breakfast, leaving me to the shattered pieces of my dream. The unicorn starts to fade away, but I'm holding on as long as possible. She's almost gone now, and there are little dots and stars amidst the darkness from shutting my eyes too tightly, yet I forge on to keep her intact. It's just a battle I know my thoughts can't win, though. They never have.

I slide off my bed and land with a dull thud on the wooden floor of my room, reach under my bed, and pull out my special, polished rock. I look into it and watch as the poofs and curls and fluffs of my mane straightens themselves out, taking the last vivid memories of my dream with it. The straightness of my mane, the dullness of the wood beneath me, the grayness of the world around me, they all make me feel more empty inside. They always have.

It's a funny thing, how reality seems to change. I once thought that my dreams were reality, and reality was all just a boring nightmare. Then, I remembered the day I got my cutie mark, and the days before that, and how my dreams started that day. Now, though, I realize I never thought of my dreams as reality at all; it was just a foolish, foolish hope. My mane is almost completely straight now, a perfect compliment to those of my sisters. I leave my room and enter my other sister's, bringing her back to reality with a few nudges here and there. My mind wanders as I poke her sleeping form, and I find myself not even thinking about what I'm doing as I daydream. The foal beside me stirs, and I stop prodding her with my hoof.

It's breakfast time; I enter the dining room and wait for my newly awoken sister to come in. The meal before me is the same as always, and it's never been worth mentioning at the best of times. It takes just a few seconds for the half-asleep filly to enter and take her seat at the table. The family's all here now, and we dig in. I don't focus on it or taste anything, though, just like any other day.

We all finish our meals as one, and we all head outside to the rock farm as one. We all take a few steps outside, and stop as one. Only then do we separate. My parents head off somewhere else, I'm not exactly sure. My sisters head off with me to gather the day's rock quota, but they break away and trudge over to another part of the farm. There's a crow on the tree over there, the first I've seen in weeks. Nothing comes near the farm, usually, so it's a rare event that never ceases to capture my attention. I give it a quick glance and find myself entranced in the bird, and it does nothing but fly off after a few moments. Just like all the others.

Rock collecting isn't very hard at all. Just break big rocks into smaller rocks or find a cluster of small rocks, roll them along on the ground, pile 'em up, and... That's it. Every time I go back in the house I leave a pile of rocks where I was working, and every time I leave the house the pile's gone. I don't really care what happened to the rocks or where they went, but it's pretty weird how they just up and disappear like that. The pile I have right now is almost as big as I am after just a couple hour's work, which is a new speed record for me. I look over to my sisters and see they've done nearly four times as much as I have. Guess they're just more motivated than I am.

Rock collecting continues until noontime, then we eat another bland, tasteless meal. I've never figured out how to tell time during the day; it's just too cloudy to see the sun, and we don't even have any clocks. Half of the trees are dead, there are no animals around for miles, no other ponies or towns, no nothing. There are simply rocks to break down, rocks to gather up, and rocks to just let lie to be broken down and gathered up another day. It's back to work after lunch, and there's always that expected surprise of finding my rock pile gone. I always leave that place alone and go somewhere else, somewhere with more rocks. I have to get as many rocks as possible, hopefully more than my sisters. It's a game I never win, and one they probably aren't even aware of. But still, a game's a game.

Another few hours of rocks and dirt, and it's time for dinner, time for more food. After dinner we clean the house and wash ourselves, and after that is nothing. Rest, my parents like to call it, but I'm never even tired. They relax from a hard day's work, though I never actually see them working. I hardly see them at all, come to think of it. I hardly see my sisters, either. They're always working off in the distance, working as a two-foal team. A team that I apparently can't join. So I turn to look at them. They're not really doing anything, either. They just seem to be... Resting, which is weird. They don't seem all that tired, or sweaty, or out of breath, but they're resting nevertheless.

That doesn't matter to me, though. They're all my family, I love them, and they love me. I don't understand how they can possibly stand living like this, and I don't understand what they could possibly be thinking at any given time. I don't think they understand me, either. Other than that one party the day I got my cutie mark, they've shown very little emotion. No excitement when I show them a sparkly gem I found, no relief when the daily quota's met early, no nothing. I threw a party just last week to see some type of anything in them, but nothing shone through their apathy.

So I spend the hours of rest doing nothing. I've debated with myself whether or not doing nothing is actually resting countless, but that always leads to the only option I have when arguing with myself: Escape. Sure, I can't really shoot a cannon at somepony like in my dreams, but I can at least shake my head a few times to clear my thoughts. Sleep would definitely help in that respect, but I can't. I'm not allowed to sleep during resting time for whatever reason, even though sleeping is resting. I just watch the clouds move or the few leaves clinging to the dead trees rustle in the wind, and sometimes a fly buzzes around my head and I make a game out of catching it. But then the time comes for the five of us to sleep, and we each head off into our rooms for the night.

Every night since Granny Pie gave it to me and I began the tedious task of polishing it, I take out my rock mirror and gaze at my reflection. The pink of my coat and the blue of my eyes seem to stand out amidst the grays and browns of everything else. There's a little glob of dirt stuck on my cheek; I reach up and brush it off. Not much else to do now, but sleep. I close my eyes, and I can feel my mane puff out slightly. It's just as excited as I am, looking forward to the rush of adrenaline that always flows through me in my dreams. While my body relaxes and my mind empties itself to prepare for sleep, a smile tugs at my lips as Ponyville rushes out to greet me.

Dream

Friends

I see friendship all around me, and now I'm a part of it.

My dreams have been changing for the better, the past few weeks. No longer am I the unloved party pony of Ponyville. No longer am I disregarded as the inexplicably strange pony who smiles too much. No longer am I alone in the world.

The purple unicorn, Twilight, is exactly why I'm no longer friend-less. Now I'm surrounded by plenty of friends, by ponies who are just as happy seeing me happy as I am seeing them happy. When ponies smile as they walk by, they're actually happy to see me, not just acknowledging my presence. When I come up to them at parties to make sure they're okay, they'll draw me into their conversations without a thought. Rarity no longer waits for me to make a mess of myself before she wants to hang out, and Fluttershy can actually talk to me without fleeing in terror. Rainbow actually lets me tell stories to her fans when they're smothering her, too. My dreams are so strange now, I can't help but feel like they're how life should be.

They are also more erratic nowadays, with new areas even outside of Ponyville for me to explore. One night, I'm vanquishing evil deep in the Everfree Forest. The next, I'm relaxing at the spa with my friends, getting a hooficure and laughing at Rainbow's nervousness. They always seem to be following a nice timeline, never straying. Most of the time, when I sleep in my dreams, I wake in reality. When I sleep in reality, I wake in my dreams.

The days of my rock farming no longer seem drag on and on anymore. My mind helps to flush out the tedious task of breaking and rolling so I can visit my dreams more often, and remember more from them when I wake.

During one of my more recent dreams, I told three little fillies the story of how I got my cutie mark. My five best friends did, too, and it turns out we're all linked by the rainbow I saw. I'm not sure if that last part was entirely true or not, but I certainly hope so. Maybe somewhere out there, my five dream friends are sleeping under the same night sky as I am. Maybe these dreams are my future, and maybe I'll eventually see them through.

I find myself thinking, hoping, and wishing a lot more than before. As I lie down in my bed, staring at my almost constantly fluffy, poofy mane, I can't help but think of leaving the farm in search of a place that might not even exist. Of course, I've been secretly stashing supplies under my bed in case I decide to leave, but I don't think that'll be happening any time soon.

So I drift off into dreamland, not knowing that day will come sooner than I thought.

It's the day after Gummy's party, I think. Twilight wants me to throw a party soon, so why not today? But something's different about my room now. I just can't seem to figure it out. It's probably nothing; my room's always changing, anyways. I peek under my bed and focus on one of the packs of confetti. It's just a little too far away for me to reach, so I stretch my hoof out a little more and grab it. Just as I move it, though, I see something shiny from behind where it was. They say curiosity gave the cat superpowers, so I just grab up the shiny thingy and look at it.

It's a really shiny rock, something that could pass for a mirror if you didn't have one. I look at my reflection in it, and notice the fluffy fluffiness of my mane. Is it always so fluffy? It looks fluffier than normal, in this rock. Maybe I should straighten it out a bit; it's pretty distracting.

So I grab my brush in my hooves, but they seem just a bit larger than normal. Actually, all of me seems larger than normal, but it doesn't take long to get used to it. I start to straighten out my mane just a little bit, but it doesn't seem to want to de-poof. Just a little more forceful this time, and... Well, that didn't work. Did I pull my mane off? No, the brush is mane-less. I can't feel my mane up there any more... Oh, well. Guess I'll check the mirror. Not the rock mirror, the mirror mirror.

Weird. My mane's completely flat and straight now, and it hasn't been like that since I was a filly. Come to think of it, I remember life on the farm as if it were yesterday. Or earlier today. Or something, I dunno. Anyways, I think I'm a lot bigger than I usually am, but surely I didn't grow much after just one night. I should be a little shorter, and thinner, and stuff. No point in thinking about that, though, so I quit looking at my mirror mirror and place the rock mirror under my bed.

Something's still not quite right, though. The streamers seem odd now, and everything about everything just seems off, as if I'm in a dream... Which means I am in a dream, duh! Silly Pinkie, not knowing you're in a dream. I'm asleep in my bed at the rock farm, having a nice little dream right now. A... lucid dream, I think it's called. Which means I can make anything I want, go anywhere I want, do anything I want. And right now, I want a party.

Gummy's after-birthday-party, why didn't I think of it sooner? The invitations are ready, my party invitation hat-basket is ready, and I'm ready. And Twilight's ready, too, considering she said we need a party soon. And it's soon.

I really feel like going through the singing invitations again, but that didn't go so well yesterday. Of course, now I'm lucip or whatever and it shouldn't be a problem, but... Better safe than sorry, right? Right. I'm always usually right in dreamland, but I shouldn't make myself always always right or mess with anything. I don't want to mess up my dreams when they just keep getting better and better without my interference.

I hope Gummy's ready for another party, though. He just seemed so tired after yesterday's. He's probably ready, though. And if he's not, I can make him ready with just a little bit o' lucib dreamy magic-ness. Just a little change probably won't ruin my future dreams. I think. I dunno how dreams work, they're all weird and dreamy-like.

Hmmm, maybe the Cakes won't be too happy that I'll be gone all day... Oh well, I don't plan on working during a lucit dream. Those busy day working dreams are sooooo boring.

Looking at the clock, I notice it's just about time for me to head off and deliver the invitations. This'll be the first time I talk to my friends as myself and not dream me, so I hope I don't mess anything up. Shouldn't be too hard, though. Gummy's staring at me now, and he seems to be looking at the mirror, too. I give his head a little rubbin' and half trot, half hop out of my room, course set for the library.

Nightmare

Friends

I saw friendship all around me, but now I realize it was never mine to begin with.

The other ponies, the five who've been in my dreams more than any other... They all acted so strangely today, seeing me as myself for the first time. None of them could make the party, and at first I thought they were legitimate reasons. But they were just making desperate excuses to not spend time with me; I can see it now. They don't like me. They don't like my parties. This friendship I've been dreaming of, it's never included me. It never has.

I don't care about the dreams or the friends anymore. All I wanted was closure when I went searching for Spike, and now I've got it. If bringing a bunch of gems into existence and kidnapping the little dragon destroys my dreams for the rest of my life, that's just a risk I had to take. I knew the little hungry dragon would crack. I knew he'd tell me the truth. A nice, big gem always brings out the truth in him. It always has.

But now? Armed with the truth, so willingly brought out by Spike and the gems I created? I don't even think I want to dream anymore. My friends all like dream me, they all like dream me's parties. But real me? No, no... That would be downright silly, liking the real me. Real me is boring and dull, and keeps a rock underneath her bed. Real me is just a filly in a farm, without a friend in the world. Real me breaks and rolls rocks around each and every single day, and doesn't even have time to play. So why would real me want dream friends? I can make friends in this dream, right here, right now, that would travel back to reality with me.

There are rocks outside. Rocks will be my friends. They'll stay by my side. The rocks back home see me every day, they'll warm up to me. There's a little clump of lint over there, on one of my old dream dresses. Lint won't be different from one world to the next. Lint will never change. Neither will the turnips, over there.

We have turnips on the farm. All I have to do is save one from the kitchen and bring it into the sanctuary of my room. We can hang out during rest time, or maybe we can miss sleep and stay up all night. Turnips need very little sleep, after all. Flour, too. We have lots of flour at the farm. Just the bag, though. We eat so much bread, I don't think a full bag of flour gone missing will be overlooked. The flour bag will be full in my dreams, though. Just to remind me which world is reality, and which world is a figment of my imagination.

All four of them already have such unique personalities... I hope those don't change when I wake up, too. They might be getting impatient now, so I guess it's time to get this party started.

"Thank you all so much for coming! It means so much to Gummy," I say. It means so much to me, too. More than they'll ever know. They're my only friends in the whole wide world, and they're here with me. That's all that really matters.

"Could I have some more punch?" says Mr. Turnip. He finished his last cup so fast, I'm not sure if I should give him some more. Too much punch for one turnip is a bad thing, after all. But this is a party, and parties are fun because you can let go of your worries. And who am I to deny him that?

"Well, of course you can have some more punch, Mr. Turnip!" No point in leaving a guest waiting, so I rush over to get a nice cup of punch. I remember, quite some time ago, when I would make sure all of my party guests were happy. Mr. Turnip's fine for now, so my attention turns to Rocky. Rocky's my favorite friend, but I won't let the others know.

The others might get jealous of Rocky and fight with each other for my affection. Fighting friends aren't happy friends, so I'll do whatever it takes to keep them from fighting. It just makes me so happy, seeing them happy. It always does.

This party's getting a little out of hand, in a good way. They all seem to want me to divorce my old traitor friends, but I'm not sure if I can. This isn't just a regular party anymore; it's more of an intervention now. But an intervention to break friends apart? Not even mentioning us being Equestria's last hope of defense should something happen, but I don't care. The friends and the Elements, they only exist in my dreams.

My friends are right. I don't need to be friends with dream me's friends. I don't even have to talk to them. They're for dream me, not real me. They don't even care about real me, so why should I care about them? I shouldn't care about them, and that's that. It's a great revelation, and my friends are all showing me their support. I'm gonna tell them exactly what I'm going to do, and we can leave all of those meanies behind and get back to the party. Mr. Turnip said something about not talking to them, so this is the perfect opportunity to speak my mind.

"You know what? I’m not gonna speak to them ever again. And I’m not gonna invite them to another party as long as I live! They don’t deserve to be invited to my parties. Not after the way they’ve been acting."

My little speech there was apparently pretty good, for my friends are all cheering and encouraging me. I know now that these four friends are all the friends I'll ever need, and they'll stay with me whether I'm dreaming or not. There's a knocking at the door now. I wonder who it could be. I don't really feel like answering it, though. I'll just not answer it and let them leave.

But of course, I'll have no such luck. The door opens, and in comes Rainbow Dash.

"Pinkamena."

Wait. Pinkamena? Nopony calls me Pinkamena in my dreams, so why is Rainbow calling me Pinkamena?

"Pinkamena. Wake up."

Oh. Somepony's trying to wake me up, and I'm just hearing them through Rainbow. That makes sense. I look around really fast to check up on my friends. It might be some trouble gathering them all in the real world, but that's fine. As long as they're still my friends, everything will be just fine. I'm not exactly sure how to wake myself up mid-dream, so I just place myself on top of a really high cloud and fall, and fall, and fall. And then the ground is just a few inches away from me.

And that's the end of my first-ever lucid dream. My eyes flutter open and the world is a blur, so I close them again.

"Pinkamena?"

I groan in response. I open my eyes again, and I'm greeted with the lovely sight of one of my bedroom walls. Whoever woke me up is probably somewhere off to the side of my bed, I guess. I don't really care. I can't even have friends in my dreams anymore. Forget all that crazy turnip nonsense, I don't even know why I thought that was a good idea.

"Pinkamena, are you alright?"

Am I alright? I don't know. My dreams probably won't be the same from now on, and those were pretty much the only things I looked forward to every day. I probably won't even be able to handle a few weeks of rock farming if they change for the worse.

"Pinkamena, please talk to me."

Now that's different. There's actually concern in that voice, something I haven't heard outside of dreamland. Not only that, but talking? Talking's usually only for my parents when they're being all stern and commandy, not for talking about your problems. Those two are more than enough reasons for me to turn to my other side, and look straight at my sister. There are tears in her eyes.