Harmony Divers: Friendship’s Last Line of Offense

by Kaipony

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Violence, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Science Fiction
Length: 2212

Super Equestria. Our home. Harmony. Liberty. Friendship. Our way of life. But Friendship doesn’t come free.

INVASION!

“Look familiar? Moments like this one are happening all over the galaxy right now. You could be next. That is, unless you make the most important decision of your life. Prove to yourself that you have the strength and the courage to be free. Join...the Harmony Divers”

Become part of an elite peacekeeping force.
See exotic new lifeforms.
And spread the Light of Friendship throughout the galaxy.
Become a hero. Become a legend. Become...a Harmony Diver.

Image Links: Link 1 / Link 2

Published 2024-12-23 19:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-12-23 19:50:00 UTC

Together for the Light of Friendship

A planet, a barren, red-hued spheroid with its surface scarred by carters and jagged rock formations, hangs silently in the cold depths of space. From the ground, every horizon is a haze of swirling dust, the faint reddish glow from the nearby sun casting long shadows over the landscape. The only sounds are the distant thuds of explosions and the mechanical hum of transport ships in the sky.

Amid the copper grit, standing in a shallow, dust-blown depression, nestled behind the rotting bulk of a massive, burned-out alien carcass, are four equines dressed in armored suits. Their helmets reflect the faint light of the sun overhead, and their suits are caked in grime. Weapons in hooves, they peer from around the dead alien husk, surveying the battlefield.

"In a galaxy torn apart by war, where the line between hero and hazard is as thin as a Harmony Diver's armor plating... There are no second chances."

Space Cadet Pinkie Pie's ears twitch, and she cocks her head, apparently trying to listen to the sky. "Who keeps saying that?"

Cadet Starlight Glimmer finishes checking how many spare magazines for her E-9 Tolerator were left in her ammunition pouch before she asks, "Saying what, Pinkie?"

"You don't hear Mr Narrator's voice?"

Before Starlight could reply, Applejack dropped down from above, kicking up a cloud of dust.

Sergeant Rarity swats at the clingy cloud of dirt with a shod hoof. "Captain Applejack, would you please refrain from—"

"No time for complaints, squad," AJ interrupts. "Listen up! This is a simple mission. We move out, head to the objective coordinates, clear the hostile forces, and—" Her communication link buzzes. AJ slaps the controls on her wrist, and Harmony Officer Twilight Sparkle's voice fills the squad's helmets.

"Harmony Diver Team 2019, this is the SES Harbinger of Unity. Royal Command has updated your objectives for this drop. The enemy has deployed 10,000 troops to your location. Command has classified them as a diamond-level priority. I'm updating your mission parameters now.

Four helmeted heads glance at each other at the news.

"We're sending in reinforcements. They'll arrive... in three hours. Also, be advised that today's 'Dash Tactics' tip is as follows...No Harmony Diver can liberate the galaxy alone. That's why we have Team Weapons. Together, they create an unstoppable embrace of Wanted Friendship. Good luck, Divers!" The audio clicked and fell silent.

"Ten thousand?" Applejack repeats quietly. "Reinforcements in three hours? How is that helpful right now?!"

"Do we even have team weapons?"

"We don't even have enough ammo for this—wait, where's Pinkie?" Starlight asks.

"Over here," a voice answers. The team peers around the massive alien corpse and spots Pinkie crouched nearby, trying to shove an oversized explosive into her backpack while muttering to herself.

"Uh, Pinkie," Applejack begins, "what are you doing?"

"Uh... no big deal, captain! Just... reconfiguring some extra party supplies." She grunts and somehow manages to secure the backpack's cover. "Y'know... in case we need a 'plan B.'"

"Pinkie!" AJ snaps. "We don't have a 'plan B.' This is Operation Surprise Party. We make one mistake, and it's a crater where we're standing! Now, get your stuff together!"

Pinkie grins nervously and pats her oversized pack with an alarming amount of pride.
"Yeah! Totally! Operation KABLOOEY is ready to go!"

"We're calling it ‘Surprise Party,’ Pinkie," AJ sighs. "Not... whatever it is you just said."

Pinkie's grin widens. "Sure, sure, but kablooey is catchier, right?"

Applejack leans against the alien corpse and motions for Sergeant Rarity. "Call in some extra supplies while we have a quiet moment."

Rarity taps on her portable terminal. "I can't."

AJ stiffens. "Why not?"

"They're on cooldown."

"What? It's a pod of ammunition and medical stims."

"I know," Rarity sighs, "but it's on cooldown right now."

Applejack shakes her head vigorously. "That doesn't make any sense," she insists. "Just call them in."

"I can't. I told you that the supply pod is on cooldown."

"What needs to cool down?!"

"The pod," Cadet Starlight states matter-of-factly, joining the conversation.

"But the pod is up there." Applejack points skyward. "In space. It's already cool up there. If the pod had just landed after burning down through the atmosphere, then I could see it needing to cool down, but it hasn't." She steps up to Rarity, a slim hint of menace in her voice. "Just call it in, Sergeant."

"I can't, Captain. It's. On. Cool. Down."

"Oh, for Harmony's sake." AJ stomps off, kicking up small clouds of dust.

Ignoring the muttering voice of her captain, Starlight trots to the edge of the depression the team selected to shelter within, and squints at the horizon. Her eyes widened.

"Uh, Captain Applejack? We've got bigger problems than Royal Command's questionable approach to battlefield logistics. You might want to look over there."

AJ turns to look at what Starlight is pointing at, and stumbles. A massive alien hoard is emerging from the dusty haze and clouds above. The leaping and hovering silhouettes alone are enough to cast a shadow over most of the battlefield. Massive, insectoid behemoths with spiny, sharp-edged legs, like nightmares from cautionary tales told to fillies by their parents, stomped relentlessly forward.

Applejack glares. "Great. Just what we needed. Pinkie, how about you try to blow up something important this time?"

"Hey!" Pinkie exclaims, looking genuinely offended. "This isn't like back at the Creek, cap. I've got precision explosives this time! This is highly technical stuff!"

Before Applejack can respond, another explosion shakes the ground, and a shrieking alien creature bursts out of the ground less than a hundred yards away. It looms almost as large as the corpse the team hides behind, and its insectoid legs click rapidly. Turning around, its multiple eyes lock onto the ponies, and it charges toward them.

"Well, I guess it's good that you're over-prepared then," AJ responds. The rest of the team looks at each other, realizing they've forgotten to load their weapons. The alien creature closes in at frightening speed.

Rarity fumbles a magazine into her rifle and points it at the charging behemoth. "Excuse, Applejack. We're supposed to shoot those things, right?"

AJ's eyes twitch. She chambers six rounds into her A-4 Alicorn revolver. "Don't panic, people. Just remember the training... and—" The alien horde bellows in the distance. "Oh, never mind. Pinkie! You're up!"

Pinkie jumps to attention and flips a switch on the overstuffed backpack, which hums ominously. The others look on with a mix of concern and awe.

Pinkie, grinning ear to ear, positions the pack on the rim of the depression. "Let's see how they like this!" With a ridiculous amount of flair, Pinkie pushes another button, and a giant, absurdly oversized rocket launcher—comically out of proportion—emerges from the pack.

"I call it an Auto-Party Launcher." She aims it toward the alien creature charging at them. "Operation KABOOM is a go!" she shouts triumphantly.

"I thought it was kablooey!" Rarity shouts back.

"Oh, right. We'll call this Plan' C,' then. KABOOM!" The rocket fires.

There's a moment of pause as the projectile is slowly, agonizingly, ejected out of the barrel by a wad of colorful streamers before its improvised motor kicks in and it streaks toward the alien creature. The team watches in stunned silence.

The rocket hits the alien and detonates with the sound of a thousand kazoos...

...but only manages to knock it to the ground and singe its mandibles. The creature shakes its head, looking confused, regains its stance, and then continues charging. Pinkie, unphased, starts digging into her pockets for more rockets. Suddenly, a squirming larva lands in Pinkie's lap.

Rarity screams.

Starlight grits out a muffled, "D'aww."

Pinkie hugs the larva and says, "I'll call you Larry!" while managing to find another rocket, reload, and fire off another round. She holds the larva aloft like a prize as the alien spawn squeals. "Can I keep him, cap? He's got character!"

"Stow that thing somewhere safe," Applejack yells over the din of combat. "Command will want to ask it what kind of cake its species prefers."

"Someone back in basic training told me the cake was a lie," Starlight reported, slapping home a new magazine.

"Don't let the Harmony Officer hear you spout those seditious lies, Cadet," Captain AJ warns.

Rarity ducks the beating wing of a flying monstrosity as it swoops past her face. "Can we please get back to the problem at hoof here?!"

Applejack spares a moment to quickly survey the battlefield. Her countenance turns grim. "Hold the line, team! I need to make a call."

~~*~~

Harmony Officer Twilight Sparkle stood proudly upon the observation platform of the SES Harbinger of Unity, gazing down at the reddish planet below. Hanging in the quietness of space around her vessel were countless other ships of identical design and armament. As she watched, many of those ships disgorged divepods and support stratagems towards the planetary surface. Nearby speakers crackled with the voices of various teams engaged dirtside with the enemy.

"Alight, girls. Let's do this... For E-ques-tria!”
~~~~
"Griffin-1 heading home for a resupply."
~~~~
"How about a nice cup of generosi-tea, darling?"
~~~~
“Frowny face? What frowny face?!”
~~~~
"Firing orbital friendship laser."
~~~~
"Sweet Harmony...MY LEG!."
~~~~

Twilight Sparkle sighed in prideful and confident pleasure. "I only regret that I have but one ship's worth of ponies to give to our cause. When the chaotic din of our enemies has at last been silenced, we shall finally perceive the unsullied peal of Harmony, reverberating evermore."

Maintaining her rigid posture, Twilight continued staring at the planet, ruminating on the next phase of the operation, when a technician called up to her from one of the communications stations in the operations pit.

"Priority stratagem request coming in, ma'am," the young pegasus mare announced. "It's Team 2019. They've encountered the enemy reinforcements." She held a hoof to her earpiece, listening intently. "They're requesting... oh. By the blossoming wingtips of celestial grace..."

"What is it?" Twilight stepped down from the observation dais and peered at the data stream. She frowned. "Really? They think it's that bad down there?"

"It must be, or the team wouldn't have deployed the beacon." The young mare glanced hopefully at a large pink button protected by a plastic cover. "Can I press the button?" she pleaded. "Please?"

"Hmm." Twilight consulted a portable terminal. "Lamina Jewel. Your Harmony rating is currently 'Sparkling,' Technician Jewel. I believe that deserves an appropriate reward."

"Yes!" Jewel pumped a hoof while other technicians looked on with restrained envy.

Twilight forestalled further celebration with a raised hoof. "However, I will be adding an additional quota to your daily mantra on the magic of friendship equivalent to the duration of the stratagem's employment."

"That's too generous," Jewel gasped, tears of joy beginning to run down her face. "I'll double the added quota and deduct the additional time from my scheduled rest period."

Twilight beamed with pride. "Exemplary idea, Technician. You are an inspiration to us all. Deploy stratagem when ready."

"Yes, Harmony Officer Sparkle," Jewel said. She pressed the microphone of her headset closer to her lips. "Dive team 2019, standby. Delivering non-compliant coercion payload to your location."

Twilight turned and marched back up to the observation dias. Faintly, she heard an exuberant squeal and the unmistakable sound of a large button being liberally mashed. She sighed. "Today, the Light of Friendship will grace the skies of this world once more!"

~~*~~

Tucked below the rim of the depression they are sheltering within, alien limbs and entrails rain down upon the Harmony Divers. The echo of an 88mm high-explosive projectile impacting dangerously close to the team rattles their helmets.

"Pinkie," Captain Applejack begins, "what did I say about overkill?!"

"I'm just warming up!" Pinkie responds, cheerfully oblivious.

"Oh, I'm sure the aliens are the ones who need to warm up," Rarity adds, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she pulls a particularly stringy bit of internal organ off her visor.

"Here they come again!" Starlight shouts.

The creatures of the alien horde roar as one, and explosions rock the landscape as the Harmony Divers scramble back into action, barely keeping their heads above ground as Pinkie continues firing improvised rockets that seem to go in every direction except at the enemy. AJ stands firm, shouting orders, but it is clear no one is listening.

Suddenly, a sonic boom shakes the ground, and the fiery streak of an incoming orbital projectile slices across the sky. It slams into a nearby hill. The fighting ceases as the pod lid pops off with an exuberant flourish of confetti.

An equine figure clad in yellow armor ascends. It turns to gaze down upon the alien menace, many of whom stop and turn to look up at the new arrival. Speakers affixed to the enclosed helmet crackle to life, and a deep voice booms out over the hills and trenches as a bright pink cape billows in the hot wind.

"You're going to LOVE ME!"

"On this day, four Harmony Divers will face the impossible... and probably cause a few hundred thousand bits in collateral damage. The galaxy may never be the same—but then again, who's counting?"

Author's Note