Celestia sighed.

Discord was far more powerful than she had anticipated, if him being able to take the elements of harmony was any indication, and she wasn't certain sending her prize students and the rest of the saviors of Equestria after one of, if not the, most powerful creatures in existence was the best idea. They had been gone for hours now...

Perhaps, her advisor whispered, it is time to bring out the Last Resort.

Despite the great help that her advisor had provided in the past, Celestia wanted to hold off on that plan for now, as it it was a last resort. Perhaps tomorrow she would, if the elements weren't returned to their bearers. Well, knowing Discord, perhaps "tomorrow" was the wrong word. Regardless, she had faith in her student as much as Twilight had faith in her. She exhaled, knowing that the next few hours would be... Well, not a nightmare so much as a fever dream.

The door to the throne room swung open, causing Celestia to turn her head. There stood Twilight, wearing a plain robe for whatever reason, along with her friend Pinkie Pie, who notably was frowning with a furrowed brow. Celestia was confused. Weren't they out fighting Discord? Why had they come back?

Tricks by Discord, whispered her advisor, pretending to be your student and one of her friends. You must defeat them.

Celestia shook off the suggestion, as her advisor did have a history of being... More aggressive as a first resort. Instead she opted to play along with the two mares.

"My little ponies," she said in surprise, "I thought you went out to find the Elements!"

"CAN IT, YOU MAD MONARCH," shouted the imposter Pinkie.

"I'm sorry, Princess," the other Twilight said. "We're from the future, and we-"

"YOU HAVE NUKES?!?" "Pinkie" was livid. "ATOMIC WEAPONS?!?"

Celestia composed herself for a moment before sighing. "I suppose if you truly are from the future, you're hear to warn me against using it?"

"AND scold you for even making them!" The supposed future Pinkie marched up to the alicorn twice her size. "What could have POSSIBLY given you the idea to make a NUKE?!?"

The supposed future Twilight teleported in front of Pinkie. "Let me handle this, Pinkie. Please."

Pinkie stared Twilight up and down, before turning away and huffing, laying herself on the castle floor.

Twilight, or whoever she was, turned to the princess. "I'm sorry, Princess Celestia. Pinkie has a... Complex history with this subject."

It is a trick, said the advisor. You must fight them.

Pinkie looked up as if she heard something, before shaking her head and dismissing it. Celestia took notice of that.

"Twilight," Celestia said, "I'm assuming you're an alicorn now."

Twilight sputtered. "I- I- Wh- WH- UM- I-"

Pinkie had turned to look at Celestia with wide eyes. "Wh- What makes you say that?"

Celestia smiled. "I've intended for Twilight to become an alicorn for years now. It would explain the robe she's wearing, and if you're from the future you likely would want to prevent a paradox of some sort, so obscuring knowledge of the future would be in your best interest."

Twilight stood with her mouth agape, making a very long, high-pitched noise that was oddly adorable. Pinkie simply blinked a few times before getting up and asking a question. "Have you time traveled before?"

"No," Celestia replied, "but I do keep up with modern literature."

Pinkie just stared. "Huh."

"Well," Pinkie huffed, "I'm still mad at you for even BUILDING a nuke!"

Celestia sighed again. "Aside from the elements, it's the only way I can think of to stop Discord. It should remove all chaos on the planet, making it to where he can't manifest here."

Pinkie's eye twitched. "ARE YOU LOCO IN THE COCO?!? WHO TOLD YOU THAT???"

It was extremely subtle, but Celestia flinched. She didn't know why she flinched, as very few things even could make her do so, but she did. "Would you happen to know what a 'nuke' actually does?"

Pinkie grimaced. "It means the whole world goes KABLOOEY! Everything will die, and radiation will make it to where nothing can grow again for DECADES at least! I guess technically that qualifies as 'rEmoViNG cHAoS' if you think life is naturally chaotic or whatever, but it will result in all life on the PLANET going kaput if it's an advanced enough bomb! So many planets have been practically eradicated because the leaders of various countries just couldn't keep their hoof off the big red button! Get rid of that thing ASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"

Celestia's eyes grew wider and wider the further the explanation went on. She had always thought Pinkie knew more than she let on, even if she was always genuine in her emotion, and this Pinkie was telling the truth it only confirmed her suspicions. Those eyes full of joy always appeared filled with age as well...

"I... See," she said. "I'm sorry, my little pony. It was built due to advice I had gained from one of my royal advisors. The Last Resort, as I named it, will be discontinued. I always dreaded the possibility of a world without chaos, and now I see I was right to worry."

Twilight was finally able to compose herself enough for a question. "Who is this advisor?"

"Well, he prefers his privacy. Needless to say I won't be listening to him on this matter."

It is a trick, your highness, the advisor repeated, a dirty chaotic trick!

"Alright," Pinkie said, looking to the ceiling, "who said that? That was a LOT louder than the narrator!"

Celestia sighed once more. "It makes sense that you'd have a mastery over the fourth wall, as I'm not sure how else you would be able to notice them. They mostly only speak in telepathy." She looked to the ceiling. "Guardian, show thyself!"

A flash of white light enveloped the room. There stood a older mare clad in white clothing, with a coat of fur the same color. "Apologies for the lack of introductions," he said with a warm smile. "I simply don't like the attention, you surely understand. I am the Guardian, and I am the embodiment of goodness and order."

Pinkie stepped back, suddenly much more visibly frightened. Twilight, however stared at the entity. "I'm sorry, the embodiment of what?"

The entity smiled. "Goodness and order."

Twilight nodded incredulously. "You wouldn't happen to also go by Ordinance, would you?"

Pinkie shook her head rapidly as the Guardian gave their reply. "How did you know that?"

"Mythological study," Twilight said. Celestia could feel that was a lie. The fact that she could tell confirmed to her that everything else she had said was true, or at least she believed it to be. Twilight continued. "I've never heard you be considered an entity of goodness, only of order." She groaned. "Then again, my sources would be biased."

"Well," the Guardian said, "Discord is the embodiment of chaos and evil, is he not?"

Twilight stared at the entity. "Discord is NOT the embodiment of evil! Is he a massive pain in the plot? Yes! But he's not-" She turned to look at Celestia, apparently having just realized that she had said that right in front of her mentor. If the situation weren't so serious, Celestia would have chuckled. Twilight shook her head before continuing. "But he's just the embodiment of chaos, which isn't the same as evil. On top of that, 'good and evil' are concepts WAY too vague and debatable to have definitive embodiments. Chaos and order are also arguable, but not as much as morality is. There are WAY too many definitions of what qualifies as good and evil for them to have embodiments. Furthermore, if you really were the embodiment of goodness, you wouldn't want to build a weapon that could wipe out all life on the planet!"

Pinkie shuddered. "Um, Twily-"

"So no," Twilight continued, "I don't believe you're the 'embodiment of goodness' if Discord is your definition of evil. Discord is just the world's most powerful prankster set on annoying anypony in his path, but if anything he's amoral. We could argue all day if that's worse than being evil, but at the very least he's able to grow a moral backbone."

Celestia hadn't thought of it like that. Perhaps Discord could have a chance to be redeemed. Maybe if he had a friend, but who?

Pinkie's eyes grew wider. "UM, TWILY-"

Twilight was far too invested in dismantling the Guardian's logic to pay attention to her marefriend... Or the Guardian, for that matter. "You, meanwhile, are so deadset in thinking you're correct that you don't seem willing to acknowledge another perspective! If you're the embodiment of order, it's in the same way that Discord is the embodiment of chaos, in that you don't actually care if anypony dies as long as you get your lampoonishly orderly world out of the deal. On top of THAT, I know for a fact that you're working with Maestro, and they managed to change the future to an apocalyptic WASTELAND with nothing in it, and if you can consider life chaotic with the argument Pinkie made, then the absence of life must be considered orderly, and THAT'S why you want a bomb!"

"TWIIIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"

Twilight turned to look at Pinkie. "Pinkie, I'm in the middle of-" She stopped once she saw how mortified Pinkie appeared to be.

"Twily," Pinkie said with a nervous smile, "remember that story I told you about the Key to Time?"

"Yeah, what abou-" Twilight stopped. She slowly turned to look at the Guardian, whose outfit had changed from white to black...

"Twily, Celly," Pinkie said, "when I say run, run. RUN!"

With that, Pinkie and Twilight ran as the Guardian chased them. Princess Celestia, meanwhile just stood dumbfounded, trying to wrap her head around what just happened. If Twilight was correct- And it was pretty clear already that she was- then the Guardian had led her astray. It was a bit mind-numbing. Without the Guardian, perhaps Equestria wouldn't have had a thousand years of peace. Perhaps Celestia would have interfered when Nightmare Moon returned, stunting her student's growth. Then again, if the Guardian had their way each time, she would have greeted her sister with an army about to pounce, and she would have activated a bomb that was actively detrimental to everything on Gaea, never mind her country and its citizens.

Pinkie had told her to run, yet she stayed put. It was likely that if the Guardian could have killed Celestia they would have done that centuries ago, along with everything else that stood in their way. If Twilight was now an alicorn and Pinkie knew what the Guardian's true nature was, they would likely be fine, or so she hoped. For now, she had to ensure the Last Resort was disposed of, or at least guarded. Twilight had said something about the Guardian having an accomplice...

Twilight and Pinkie ducked behind a corner. They were tired as they had been running for about 5 minutes straight.

"I think we lost them," Twilight said.

"Nope," Pinkie said, "but I don't know why they're chasing us. They have enough power to kill us with a stare. Or, at least, kill me..."

Twilight put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "Don't say that, Pinkie. I'm sure we'll be fine."

Pinkie shook her head. "It's kind of hopeless. When the Black Guardian chased after me and the Doctor, we had to use a randomiser so that he couldn't predict where we ended up!"

Twilight stared daggers at Pinkie Pie. "What made you think the embodiment of chaos would be put off track by a randomiser? Wouldn't they have thrived off of chaotic randomness?"

Pinkie opened her mouth as if to speak, but quickly shut it again. She thought about it. "Huh. Well, it worked, he couldn't track us."

Twilight facehoofed. "Pinkie, have you considered that maybe, if the Black Guardian was 'disguised' as the White Guardian, then maybe they're secretly one and the same? Discord says he's the embodiment of chaos already."

"I thought the Black Guardian was just my old universe's version of Discord!"

Twilight thought for a moment. "Fair enough. Still, I think the reason they called themself the Guardian was because there is no 'black and white' guardian. They're one and the same, they're just playing both sides so that order comes out looking better."

"Thank you, purple one," said an old mare who appeared suddenly.

Both Twilight and Pinkie Pie turned to see the Guardian, now dressed in gray.

"Apologies for not cutting to the chase. I needed to be sure the pink one was who I thought she was. It's a pleasure to see you again, Romana."

Pinkie stood there, frozen in fear.

"The Imperatrix of the Nine Gallifreys frozen in terror. A rare sight to behold, and I am very honored to have caused it. And as for you, Twilight Sparkle, I simply cannot let you go telling people about my little secret. I may not be powerful enough to kill you yet, but I can torture you for eons to come."

Twilight gulped.

"And after that," the Guardian continued, "I'll find the Doctor and dispose of him as well. Then, I sha-"

And just like that they vanished, much to the shock of the Time Lord and the alicorn. Suddenly a serving tray appeared out of nowhere, and uncovered to reveal Discord's head.

"Did someone call for a Deus Ex Machina with a side of meta?" Discord chuckled as he transformed into his usual form. "Ordy was justified in being too powerful to stop their monologue, but I'm hurt they forgot I existed for a moment."

Twilight gave out a sigh of relief. "Discord, I never thought I would say this, but I've never been happier to see you."

"Oh, you can always rely on me," replied the Draconequus. "And don't worry about my precious little... I believe they're my sister this millennia? Anyway, I sent them to my brother, Negligence, and there's no way they'll resist the chance to not play a game where they could win the Key to Time. Knowing them, they'll probably want to play boring old chess, which they're horrible at by the way. I get their devotion to the whole 'black and white morality' thing, but at least play a chess variant or Knightmare Chess to spice things up! Sheesh."

Pinkie eyed Discord up and down. "Where are the others?"

"Oh," Discord replied, "I must have lost track of them at one point or another."

"Even Rainbow Dash?"

"As if I could keep track of her."

Twilight and Pinkie looked at one another with realization. "Right," said Twilight, "we'll catch up with you later, Discord." She turned to leave, only to be greeted by a wall made of the concept of trigonometry. "Damnit."

The past version of Discord laughed. "Oh, I don't know how either of you gained back your colors in the far future, but I know I'm going to have fun sending you both to beautiful, cloudy Trottingham where you can't prevent my rise to power or whatever you were sent back in time to stop. I don't know, I wasn't paying that much attention. Of course, the clouds in Trottingham are now made of fried herring, so it smells a lot worse."

Without warning, both Pinkie and Twilight were suddenly on a slingshot.

"Oh! And I'm glad to hear I'm with Romana, AKA Fred! Big fan of the show, try not to genocide as many people next time you're at war, OK?"

Pinkie tried to talk sense into Discord, even though Discord and sense went together about as well as peanut butter and hydrofluoric acid. "DISCORD, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." And away they went, flying into the air.

"Oh," Discord said, "I do hope I get three stars for that one! Those pigs don't destroy their own buildings, you know." He thought for a moment. "Hmm, considering they're from whenever they said they were from, I should check on who else they came with. Probably in the castle, if I had to guess. I do wonder who!"

With that, he vanished in a flash of light.

Piano music begins to play.

"Isn't my uncle something, folks?" The Maestro gave THAT laugh. "Now you might be thinking 'oh no! With Auntie Ordinance gone and that mean ol' tyrant Celestia getting rid of the nuke, now Maestro will never get enough power to grasp the music of the spheres!' But fear not! I'm not actually so cliche as to copy the exact same scheme I did last time with the Beatles! No no no, I was using Auntie as a distraction! What sort of supervillain do you think I am? Then what was my scheme you may ask? Well...

"Do you remember that sweet little heartsong Twilight sang that managed to undo Discord's grayifying of her little friends? What's that? You don't? Good! It means my plan has already works! Without that little song to get the gang back together, Twilight also gets to take a nice little graycation, and Uncle Discord gets to rule the world! And, the longer his reign lasts, the harder and harder it will be to create the harmonies needed for a heartsong! Eventually the only music that will shine through when a decade passes will be Discord's discorded melodies that are, in fact, discorded, and all those heartsongs that go unsung... I'll get so much more powerful..."

"So yes, I hope you enjoy this little fanfic, because by the time it's over..."

YOU WON'T EXIST!

ha hA HA HA HA Ha ha...

Author's Note

Apologies for the VERY late chapter. The alters that originally worked on this fic are focusing on other things, while current political situations have us extremely anxious and worried. We apologize profusely as well for this chapter being so short. We're sure you don't mind, considering how slowly many people on this site can be, but we're going to be apologetic anyways because we want to be more productive overall. Thank you all for understanding.

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