I trot listlessly through the drifting grey mist, trying to summon some spark of motivation, emotion... anything at all really. I'd been so passionate, so eager to change the world, and where had it brought me? Trapped in a statue: a garden ornament for a neurotic tyrant, an oddity for tourists to gawk at.

My only retreat from the horror of being unmoving, cold stone is my mindscape. At first I filled it with fantasies of escape, of revenge, of ruling Equestria. As a year passed and the reality of my imprisonment weighed on me, the images changed to better times: the few moments of joy in my life, or an imagined normal pony life that I might have had if my parents hadn't abandoned me.

Now even those paltry dreams have faded. How long has it been? Three years... or is it four now? We were petrified in late summer, so... uh, I'm losing track. If this goes on I will surely lose my mind. I shudder at the thought of wandering these mists for decades, centuries... millennia?

A flash of movement catches my attention. Not in the dull fog of my mindscape; outside, in the real world. I dismiss the mists, which are somewhere between voluntary hallucination and lucid daydream, and accept reality: I am Cozy Glow, adorable pegasus filly and traitor to Equestria, petrified at the conclusion of my final battle with the alicorn princesses. My body is frozen in an eternal scream, my front hooves raised in a futile reflex to shield my face, my lower body fused to the petrified form of my once ally and mentor, the centaur Tirek.

Around me are the gardens of Canterlot palace, which might be pleasant if I hadn't been forced to stare at them for years now. Below me... a single blue-and-indigo form. Feathers, beak, the face and claws of a predatory bird... but not a griffon, his hindquarters are equine and his tail that of a fish: smooth-scaled and wide-finned.

A hippogriff stallion... taller than an adult pony, but perhaps still an adolescent: the adult hippogriffs I've seen were as tall as the alicorn princesses. The newcomer walks slowly over and makes a show of examining our statue, but his intense gaze soon settles on my stone form.

In the early days there were so many ponies, whole crowds, who came to gawk at me. The enemies of Friendship, the ones who'd nearly destroyed Harmony, imprisoned by their oh-so-smart and powerful ruler. A few cursed me, or ranted at me, or deliver one-sided lectures about how I'm worst filly ever and that I should have been a good little toady for Twilight.

I wanted to scream back that they were lies, that Twilight was a fraud, that... of course it was no good. The alicorns and that despicable draconequs took the ability to speak from me, then left me here, a silent witness. An example for every rebellious school-age foal of what happens if somepony dares challenge the princesses.

There were changelings too, making a pilgrimage to see the third member of our petrified trio: Chrysalis, their fallen queen. The bug creatures seemed to regard their former ruler with a strange mix of fear, reverence, pity and disgust. As for my old mentor Tirek, he drew only a few visitors: ponies that remembered his magic-draining, who spat on his statue, and the odd mystic or two who beseeched him to spill his arcane secrets... to no avail, as he's just as petrified and silent as me.

The flow of visitors slowly reduced to a trickle: now it's just the odd school trip or tour group. It's been... six months, maybe? ...since someone addressed me directly... right, that ranting unicorn mare had been when there was still snow on the ground. The flowers are blooming now... at least that obnoxious tour guide is nowhere to be seen. I could recite their 'these are the three worst villains of all time' speech in my sleep - if I could sleep - and I'm sick to my back teeth of it.

The hippogriff is staring at me... I search my mind, but I don't recognise him. He's quite a striking specimen, dark blue feathers fading to lighter at the tips, indigo scales, huge wings... what is he doing here? Stray from a field trip? He doesn't have bored look on his face that the usual tourists have. A flicker of excitement pierces the dullness in my mind and reflexively I try to speak, to say something cheery or at least flash a charming smile, but of course it doesn't work. I hate that my expression is frozen in fear... it's not how I want to be remembered.

The stallion turns to the side, and I spot something on his flank, mostly hidden by his folded wings. A clock face, perhaps? Right where a pony's cutie mark would be. Of course hippogriffs don't have cutie marks, and it's a bit too big to be a fob watch. He looks around, as if checking if anyone is watching, then he stares straight at me.

His eagle eyes seem to glow, and... in a flash, I'm back in the grey mists of my internal mindscape. Except... for the first time ever, I have a visitor! The navy-and-indigo hippogriff stallion is right in front of me: he looks around curiously at the drifting mists before his gaze returns to me.

"Cozy Glow, I presume?" he says in a measured voice, cocking his head in that bird-like manner griffons and hippogriffs have. He looks like he could have been Silverstream's older brother: if she'd had an older brother, that is.

I'm caught entirely off guard: I had no idea hippogriffs could do telepathy. Or is it just him... or is this being something else entirely? A disguised changeling? A spirit like Discord? Actually Discord? Or is he using an artefact of some kind... the mists around me are roiling, and I try to suppress them. Of course I'm suspicious about his intent, but I'm in a vulnerable position and any potential ally - or even a relief from eternal boredom - is a boon. So I pour on the charm.

"Golly! I sure am! Wow... it's been so long since I've said a word. Of course we're not really talking are we, but you know what I mean. You're in my mindscape, huh? That's some trick, especially for a hippogriff: mind telling me who you are, exactly?" I put a smile on my phantom face, but make my words forceful: scared or not I can't afford to show weakness. Story of my life, really.

"My name is Pacific Dream," my visitor says smoothly. "Please forgive the intrusion: your condition leaves no other means of communication. A little help from a magical artefact, to bridge our minds."

He pauses, taking a few steps to one side as he seems to size me up, his expression betraying nothing... though I find bird faces hard to read, at least compared to the average pony who couldn't pull a poker face if their life depended on it. Which mine sometimes did.

"Fear not, Cozy Glow," 'Pacific Dream' says. "I desire only to converse, and if you do not wish to do so, I will leave." He does sound rather formal, even for a hippogriff. Is he trying to seem older, more mature? He has that posh, slightly gravelly accent hippogriff stallions tend to have... it does give him a certain gravitas, despite looking about sixteen.

The rational part of me is still wary of this stranger, but it's been so long since I've had the chance to speak to anyone that I quickly squash any notion of telling him to leave me alone. I take an imaginary step closer to him, studying him closely. There's a strange aura to him... mystery? Like he has secrets... there's something slightly off about how he moves and talks. Too smooth and regular, especially for a teenager. The 'disguised changeling' theory is still in the running.

"Pacific Dream, huh? That's a nice name... you found a magical relic, huh? Or did you 'borrow' it so could do some 'research' in Equestria?"

I smirk, watching him closely for a reaction. Assuming he is a hippogriff... I don't know much about their culture, but it seems unlikely they'd knowingly lend an artefact powerful enough to do this sort of telepathy to a teenager. Did he steal it... maybe he'd heard about my little artefact collecting escapades, and was coming to me for advice?

"A pleasant chat with little old me... gee, that sounds nice. You've gotta know who I am: it's not like you just saw a statue of the greatest enemies of Equestria and used telepathy on a whim, right? You can here on purpose, so... what do you need to know?"

I smile sweetly again: there must be some piece of lore he thinks I have that he wants. Assuming I have it or can lie convincingly enough... can I make a bargain? What does he have to trade? Even knowledge of what's going on outside would be better than nothing. Though if Pacific is trying to accomplish something that would piss off Twilight... I might just give him a freebie.

Pacific turns to take a step in the other direction... and I spot a second clock face on his right flank, mostly hidden under his primary feathers. Carrying around two clocks strapped to your butt? Is this non-pony cutie mark envy? Or can those be the magical artefact he mentioned?

"I've heard the stories, yes. Read the newspaper articles. Even spoken to some of the witnesses. Pretty much every creature I've made enquires of believes you to be 'the worst pony ever'. Twilight's shame, her traitorous apprentice: she even has the schools teaching foals about you. Cozy Glow, the little pegasus filly who tried to erase magic and conquer Equestria, who allied with dark gods and demons, who probably kicked puppies just for fun. No one knows where she came from or why she did it: more of a caricature than a pony, really."

Pacific pauses for a moment, looking me in the eye. "Is that you?"

I feel... frustrated, but not surprised. Of course Twilight has turned me into a cartoon villain, a moustache-twirling monster who'd burn down everything for fun or whatever. I mean sure, I was a threat, but... maybe I should've made more of an effort to get my position across. No, Twilight Sparkle would've just shouted me down and suppressed all knowledge with her propaganda. That was what our conflict boiled down to really: whether I would be a character in her story, or she would be a character in mine. Unfortunately for Equestria, she won, and history is written by the winners.

"That's right, I'm Cozy Glow, the eviiiilest pony that ever lived," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "Spoke to witnesses, huh? Sounds like you know a lot about me, Mr. Dream. Come to get a few pointers on being evil?"

For some reason my mind flashes back to that ridiculous 'a better way to be bad' song I convinced Tirek and Chrysalis to sing with me, back in Grogar's cave. Was that really what counts as 'happier times' for me?

"Actually no... I don't know much about you." Pacific says. "It seems no one does. I thought it must be a cover up, so I snuck into the school, then the crystal castle. Read the records, even Twilight's diary. Even the alicorn princess of Equestria has no idea where you came from or why you did what you did... and apparently she doesn't care, because there's no record of her ever asking you."

Pacific sits down, parking his rump on the imaginary ground, his fish-like tail slayed out behind him. "That's why I'm here. Who is Cozy Glow, really? Will you tell me?"

I can't help raising an eyebrow. This was unexpected to say the least. The idea that anyone would actually try to find out my reasons for doing what I did is almost too much to believe. No one's ever bothered to do that before: not Tirek, Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Grogar or rather Discord pretending to be Grogar... not even my supposed friends, the 'young six': I'd been a star student, then a villainess, then a minion, an great threat to Equestria... nothing more.

There was something... disarming about the way he asked the question. He'd really snuck in and read Twilight's diary? The real thing, not the 'friendship journal' Celestia had published as propaganda? Either Twilight's security is hopelessly lax or the hippogriff guy has more magical abilities than just telepathy.

I stare at him for a moment; trying to read Pacific's expression and body language, trying to figure out if it's a trick... but all I see is a curious teenager with a strange fascination with clocks and a desire to know about me. Though there's a strange tone to his voice... almost pity. How can anyone feel pity for the evilest pony ever?

For a few seconds I simply stand there staring at him, dumbfounded, until I finally find my voice. "You... really want to know? You're not just here to mess with me or something?"

I pause, considering my thoughts. Do I spin a plausible tale, or... am I really ready to share? "Why do you care...?"

"I care because..." Pacific's voice cuts off, and he's quiet for a moment before continuing. "Because I've seen enough to know that something is not right. Twilight is the most powerful ruler on Equus, and her actions do not match her words. Besides... I know how those in power can be... unfair, to those who strive to make a difference. How intent can be distorted, legacy tarnished or denied."

He hits me me another intense avian stare. "Will you show me the real Cozy Glow?" His beak opens a little: the bird version of a smile. "What do you have to lose?"

I find myself almost disarmed, caught off guard by this strange hippogriff. It's... weirdly refreshing. Someone who might listen... who might actually understand me. What do I have to lose? Nothing, really.

Part of me is screaming 'this is a trick', 'he's an agent of Twilight, she sent him to find out your secrets: he'll run back to her as soon as you've spilled the beans'. But... so what? There's no worse punishment for me than being imprisoned in stone for all eternity. I feel... vulnerable, paralysed and with a strange stallion touching my mind, but... it doesn't matter now.

This is my first, and most likely only, chance to tell my story and maybe change somepony's mind about me. I don't even care if he's working for Twilight. The stallion's smile is a little unnerving, but there's something... reassuring in it, as well.

I sit down next to him on the blank, imaginary ground, ruffle my wings and give a little smile. I'm still cute when I want to be, aren't I? "Golly. Well, when you put it like that... where should I begin?"

"Perhaps with where you came from?" Pacific asks. "Your school entrance form lists your parents as 'Cozy Blanket' and 'Evening Glow': Twilight tried to track them down, after you were imprisoned in Tatarus, but it seems they don't exist. You forged all the permission slips and made excuses about why they never came to the school, didn't you?"

His voice is matter-of-fact, not accusing or approving. "Some ponies say you're actually a rogue changeling, or Nightmare Moon's disowned daughter, or a thousand-year-old demon cursed into the form of a cute filly."

I can't help but let out a bitter laugh at the list of supposed origins. Ponies are superstitious at the best of times, but... a demon, really? "Nightmare Moon's daughter... how would... how would that even work, chronologically speaking? She was in Equestria for like a week before Celestia stuck her on the moon for a millennium, right?"

Though Nightmare Moon did sound like she had the right idea about some things: in a lot of ways Luna seems more practical than her sister.

"You did turn into an alicorn after all," Pacific replies, with a slight smile. It draws a bitter twinge from my stomach: I'd worked so hard to achieve that, it had felt so wonderful, and Twilight had taken it away. Just like everything else I've ever had.

"I believe there are two theories: one that Nightmare Moon cursed you to remain a pegasus filly until she returned, to hide you from Celestia, and that you've spent ten thousand moons moping about eating ice cream. Of course once she turned back into Luna and disowned you, you had to take matters into your own hooves."

"The other theory is that Nightmare Moon projected her spiritual form into the bedrooms of stallions every night, and eventually managed to conceive you while still on the moon. I understand this theory is very popular among certain stallions trying to explain to their wives why they were spotted with a unknown mare at night," he explains dryly.

That draws a giggle: in fact I have to supress the urge to howl with laughter at the sheer absurdity of it. The idea of Nightmare Moon getting frisky with dozens of stallions while trapped on the moon is just... well, it's just hilarious. Though in truth... almost every filly in Equestria must have fantasised about being an alicorn princess at some point, and the idea that you'd be a paragon of pony beauty who could get any stallion she wanted is as much a part of the appeal as the luxury, the respect and firing magical lasers from your horn.

"Oh wow that would be cool wouldn't it. Child of the moon, here to finish what my mother started. Never mind... yeah that's all nonsense. I'm a real pegasus filly, not a changeling or demon or anything like that. As for my parents... you got me there, I made them up. I... didn't have any parents. I was raised in an orphanage, from the day some mare abandoned her foal in a basket on their doorstep.

The surrounding mists of my mindscape swirl and solidify, forming into a building: a run-down orphanage sitting in swampy forest. Its once bright paint is faded and chipping, the timbers rotting and the sign of happy foals covered in moss. The scene shifts to the interior: clumps of grey resolve into colts and fillies, sitting around listlessly, bullying each other or trying to play with worn and broken toys. A grumpy-looking mare watches the foals with disinterest, changing
to scorn when they act out.

A place where hopes and dreams were drained away as fast as they can form: somewhere I've tried to forget as I searched for a brighter future, now returned from my memories.

"This is where you grew up?" Pacific says, seeming shocked as he takes in the scene. "I thought ponies were all about bright colours, songs, silly games."

"Sure... for colts and fillies who have loving parents to take them home to their warm, colourful rooms filled with toys," I say bitterly. Even the memory of the old orphanage is chilling and depressing, the mists of my mindscape reproducing stained walls and overcrowded rooms from the viewpoint of a foal.

"For a foal like me, left abandoned on the doorstep? I had a lumpy bed, a broken rattle, a stuffed pony with no eyes or mane, and a blanket threadbare enough that when I slept I couldn't tell if I was shivering from the cold or crying."

I stare at the memory... my stomach twisting as I relive that dank, muddy hellhole, stuck in the middle of nowhere. The caretakers varied between negligent and abusive, and that left its mark on the foals: angry and lonely, they'd taken out their frustrations on each other. This was a place where kindness, magic and affection went to die.

"I hated every second. But it made me tough... showed me what the world was really like."

"Ponies say that Celestia got rid of places like this centuries ago: her kingdom is supposed to be happy, prosperous, almost no crime." Pacific Dream says. "Are there no inspectors, no funding from the crown? No one came to help?" The hippogriff seems surprised, but if he thinks this is a lie, it's not showing on his face.

"Oh yeah. Every year, they moved the furniture around so they could pretend the adult quarters were the kid's bedrooms. Borrowed a bunch of toys from the rich families: told us to put on a show, and that they'd beat us if we said a word." My muzzle is twisted into a sneer: I can't help it, I hated the matron so much.

"That's the thing about ponies: we're so complacent, so gullible. We want to believe things are great, that our rules are good, so when they feed us a nice story we never question it. Because nine times out of ten, things are the way they seem, and nopony wants to think about the rest."

"I'm sorry, Cozy," Pacific Dream says, and again he seems sincere. "No foal deserves that."

The hippogriff reaches over and places one clawed hand on my shoulder. Dreamscape or not, it's my first friendly physical contact since... well, ever, if I'm honest, unless you count those insincere hugs from the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

I freeze. I don't know how to react: when the Crusaders tried to comfort me, or Twilight praised me, it was for my fake helpful persona. No one ever comforted or sympathised with me, because I never showed my real feeling. I sit there and... I suddenly feel my breath come fast and shallow, tears stinging in my eyes. I feel like my defences have been pierced: I shouldn't let some random stallion get to me like this... should I?

"I... I..." I can't even speak. How do I respond to this? How do I say how it makes me feel? Instead I lean in a little, forcing myself not to cry.

"It wasn't all bad," I manage to say. "There was the time I got my cutie mark."

"Ah... a pony told me you won it in a chess game against the Lord of Chaos, along with your evil powers." Pacific says dryly. Despite the sadness, I can't help but giggle again.

"That big ugly jerk? He didn't care about me until I was useful for his stupid schemes. I still can't believe Twilight cuts him so much slack - it's only because she wants to control his magic." Actually I secretly suspect Celestia engineered the whole thing so that Discord would feel guilty and indebted to her prodigy. I wouldn't put it past the old nag.

"No... I used to sneak away from the orphanage. There was this old farmer." The mists swirl and reform to show a younger Cozy fluttering into a barn, where an elderly stallion is pressing fruit. I was fearful, but also hungry, and the farmer was happy to share his lunch. The scene skips forward in time, showing him teaching foal me how to play chess.

I smile as time skips over two dozen shared lunches, two dozen chess games, getting a little better each time. Finally I win for the first time, and in a flash of magic a rook-shaped cutie mark appears on young Cozy's flank. She's overjoyed, laughing and flapping about the barn.

My heart skips a little as I relive those memories: sneaking out from the orphanage on those long summer afternoons, flying to that ramshackle old farmhouse, sitting among the crates and straw as Plum Pudding taught me to play chess. It was my time away from that hellhole, and the closest thing to a real friend I'd ever had. If it hadn't been for him, I
might have fallen into despair, like so many other foals there.

Of course it couldn't last. With dread and disgust I wait for the comeuppance: the matron marching imperiously into the barn.

"Sky Lantern!" she shrieks. "I told you if I found you outside again I'd bind your wings!"

Sky Lantern... the younger me... tried to escape, flapping frantically, but the older unicorn caught me in her magic, hauling me back to earth in a suffocating bubble.

"And you, Plum Pudding! You should know better than to encourage such disobedience!" the matron chastised the earth pony stallion.

"Now now Prim, she's just a filly," he said aimably. "Sky ain't doing no harm coming over-"

"Enough!" Prim Proper cut him off. "If she comes here again you'd better send her back, or I'll tell the sheriff that you kidnapped her!"

The matron stomps off, dragging the crying Sky Lantern behind her with her magic. The old mare either didn't notice that the filly had gained her cutie mark, or didn't care.

Pacific Dream could only watch the memory play out. His claws tighten a fraction on my shoulder. "That's horrible. That unicorn shouldn't be near young creatures, much less in charge of an orphanage. Did she really... bind your wings?" The practice is practically torture for a young flyer.

Anger twists my stomach, old hatred for the matron coming back. "She sure did. Prim was always doing that to the pegasi, she hated that we could fly out of her reach. The unicorns got nullifiers clamped on their horns, and the earth ponies... they just sat there and took it, for the most part." There was that one colt who snapped and smashed up the kitchen: it took four adults to restrain him, and none of us ever saw him again.

"She got her just desserts though." I let the memory shift to the orphanage in flames, the rotten structure burning to the ground on a foggy morning where the smoke would be hidden from airborne pegasi. The diffused glow gave the scene a dreamlike quality: fourty foals of various ages stood amongst the trees, watching their home disappear.

"Prim?! Where's Prim?" One of the adults shouted anxiously.
"I thought she was with you! Is she still in there?!" Another caretaker replied.

"You burned it down?" Pacific says. He withdraws his claw, but his tone remains neutral. "Destroyed all the records... and changed your name from Sky Lantern to Cozy Glow? Should I call you Sky, or Cozy?"

I frown slightly as Pacific withdraws his foreleg. I've never felt anyone touch me so... tenderly before, and already I miss the sensation now that it's gone. I want to reach out and... I don't know, touch him, hug him even. But part of me feels embarrassed at my own vulnerability. I stare at the flames for a long moment: they're as hypnotic now as they
were back then.

"Sky Lantern... Prim gave me that name. I hate it. Cozy... call me Cozy Glow." I say firmly.

"Officially? The chimney was cracked, soot caught fire and started a fire in the rafters. Must have happened when that colt went crazy a few months earlier. Such a shame that the door to Prim Proper's room jammed... and the shutters... those old buildings, right? I heard that by the time they pulled her out, the smoke and heat had burned her throat so much she never spoke again."

My tone is sing-song fake-cheerful, daring Pacific to call me a arsonist or attempted murderess.

The hippogriff just nods. "The end of such a place is no tragedy. The tragedy is that every guardian failed in their duty, until it fell on the shoulders of a young filly to take action."

I blink, stunned. No horrified gasp of 'How could you do something so awful!', no disgusted look of repulsion, even a pitying glance... none of the normal reactions ponies would give. Just... acknowledgement and understanding. Is it because he's a hippogriff, or...? "Gee, um, yeah. Couldn't put it better myself."

I find I'm a little breathless. He's... listening to me. I want to hug him and cry onto his shoulder in relief. If this is him manipulating me... it's working. I can't believe I'm being driven to feel so vulnerable, so grateful. Even if it's a lie, for now I'm going to go pretend it's real. Not like any of this is going to make my punishment worse, right?

"It was like... a clean slate, you know? A chance to reinvent myself. I decided nopony was gonna push me around again! Seems like none of those losers ever connected the timid 'Sky Lantern' they knew to the awesome 'Cozy Glow' they read about in the newspapers."

Pacific Dream smiles at that, his beak opening a crack. "I understand." I'm not sure why, but I feel like he really does. "What happened after that? Did you go straight to Twilight's School of Friendship, or...?"

I smile back, and this time it's genuine. I feel almost giddy, finally being able to share my story with a receptive audience... even if it's one kinda-hot bird-fish-pony stallion using telepathy while I'm stuck as a statue. Umm...

"Oh no. No, I had a... bit of an adventure, before that." I shift the mists around to the next stage of my life. The scenery becomes a bustling city: Baltimare. Younger me looks pretty dishevelled, stealing bread, begging for money, sleeping in attics. "Um... right. It took me a year or so to, uh, get a handle on things."

I'm a fast learner, but even for me, it took a while to learn how to manipulate other ponies into doing what I wanted. I move the scene forward... ah that's better. My frizzy mane and tail are replaced with neat curls and ribbons. I'm in the clouds, trotting around Las Pegasus, smiling sweetly and effortlessly convincing tourists to buy a 'poor lost filly' a hotel room.

"You look adorable." Pacific says. "And you weaponised it? That's fair... you left that orphanage with absolutely nothing. You had to work with what you had", the stallion says sadly.

I stare into his bird face... all those hours I wished Gallus paid attention to me like this, instead of being obsessed with that vapid Silverstream...

"After the fire, I can see why you wouldn't go to the authorities." Pacific cocks his head. "You never considered being adopted? Once you had the cute thing worked out, I bet good families would be lining up to adopt you."

All those stupid foalish fantasies of having loving, stereotypical parents come flooding back. "I thought about it, but, uh... it all seemed so insincere. So fake. Happy ponies everywhere, acting like everything is fine: but I knew it wasn't. How much ugliness was hiding behind their shiny facades? I saw so many 'good families' and just... I just wanted to knock those smug smiles off their faces!"

Pacific frowns at my outburst, and I instantly regret it, blushing and looking away. I guess the idea of attacking random ponies for being happy does make me sound like a monster.

"It's just... look, I can't keep up the cute and lovable thing forever, ok? Eventually the real me would slip out and it would all come tumbling down. Like it did at the school... like it did just now. Better to stay free, no one telling me what to do!

Pacific Dream steps closer and reaches out with his claw, gently placing it between my shoulders this time. My wings flutter involuntarily. "Is the real Cozy Glow so bad? Tell me more about her. You did go to Twilight's school, eventually. Every creature said you were the star student: Twilight's favourite, for a whole year. You're saying that wasn't the real you?"

The feeling of a claw between my shoulder blades makes my wing twitch involuntarily, but it's not... bad. Far from it. Why is this strange stallion being so nice to me? Didn't I just admit to arson, stealing and 'conspiracy against Friendship' or whatever Twilight was calling it now? This had to be a trick, right? My breath catches again.

"I... well..." How do I explain this to Pacific? I don't even know how to explain it to myself. I take a deep breath, and try to lay it out.

"So look, I was getting older, and I knew I was missing out on a proper education. I'm smart, but... library books only get you so far, and the cute filly thing wasn't going to last forever. I wanted to do something with my life, make a splash. Cozy Glow, a mare ponies would remember for centuries, not just an abused little filly!"

"I saw the flyers and... I thought this could be my big break. Personal tutoring by the Element Bearers! A chance to whisper in the ear of Princess Twilight! Fillies and colts from important families across Equestria and beyond!"

"So, I uh... forged a few of letters of recommendation, and I was in." I blush involuntarily. "Because I deserved a chance, ok! Like I said, ponies are so trusting, nopony ever checked my references."

"It's ok, Cozy. You were overdue for something good in your life, so you did what you had to do." Pacific Dream says reassuringly. "But you didn't answer my question. You did meet the Element Bearers. According to the school records, you were friends with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and the Heroic Six."

Was that what Sandbar, Yona and the rest were calling themselves now? "Your grades were excellent, and you appear to have earned genuine trust from Twilight Sparkle. That's why she was so upset, afterwards. You could've had any job in Equestria you wanted. So... why did you throw that away? Contact Tirek, imprison Starlight, and try to destroy magic?" The hippogriff's voice is more serious than ever: this is the crux of it, the key question he needs an answer to.

The mist swirls around us, reflecting my own turmoil as I struggle to get a handle on all of the emotions. Do I really have to explain this? I could just push him away... but I feel his claw on my back, and I can't. Even if this is just a shared daydream. He's listened so far, and I need to do this.

"Because I saw through their lies!" I shout. "The complacency, the wishful thinking, the... rot: it goes right to the top. Ponies worship the Princesses, the Element Bearers, they eat up every word coming out of their stupid faces... and because they're going to solve all our problems, keep us all safe, nopony lifts a hoof on their own initiative!"

I pull away from Pacific, shaking with fury. "Do you know how many times Equestria nearly got destroyed, just in the last decade? We won by luck, sheer luck and untapped bits of magic we conveniently had lying around. Where was our army? Our militia? Our magical research and containment force? When monsters come, all we have is the Princesses and a few ceremonial guards. And do you know why? Because they want us completely dependent on them!"

I turn back to Pacific, jabbing a hoof at him. "You're a hippogriff... you can see this, right? Right?!" I say desperately.

"When the Storm King came, we folded like a paper tiger. Our alicorns get taken out by a hornless unicorn with a bag of crystals, and the rest of us just roll over. It was your people that bailed us out. Sure you had an enchanted peral that could magically shatter the slaver chains, but that wasn't enough to win the Sixth Battle of Canterlot. We won because you brought a fleet of air dreadnoughts with beam cannons and marines!

"And what does Twilight do afterwards? Says we won because of 'friendship', pardons the traitor and makes no changes at all. They save never meet your heroes... well I met mine, and they turned out to be incompetent fools."

Pacific gives me a curious look. "You decided to eliminate magic... to save Equestria? You honestly thought ponies would be better off without it? What about the whole 'Cozy Glow, Empress of Friendship' thing?"

The mention of my past ambition stings, but I push that feeling of humiliation and disgust aside. "Of course we'd be better off! Nightmare Moon, Discord, Tirek, the changelings, the shadow pony thing... none of those threats would exist if there was no magic! With no alicorns to save the day, ponies would have to step up... and yeah, I admit it, I thought I could be the one to show them how."

Even in this illusionary mindscape, my cheeks are burning red. "Look, I made sure to leave wing magic unaffected. We'd still be able to fly fine, ok? And as for the unicorns... ugh. You know the princesses are total unicorn supremacists, right? Starlight, Tempest, Stygian... you know there was this one unicorn who tried to take over another world? Sunset, she was called."

"And how does Twilight punish these traitors? Hugs, apologies, cushy jobs, VIP apartments in her castle. But if a little pegasus filly dares to challenge the status quo? Straight to Tartarus!"

I let out a long breath. "Peace was never an option, not really. As a pegasus, there was always a glass ceiling for me. As soon as Twilight found a powerful unicorn filly she could mould to suit her needs... I'd be shoved aside." I stand and stare defiantly at Pacific, waiting for him to condemn me as a madmare.

The hippogriff stares back for a moment, his expression unreadable. All around us the mists have changed into a fractured mess of still-life scenes: imprisoning Starlight in the magic drain, proclaiming myself the 'empress of friendship' wearing that silly school badge as a crown, screaming defiance at Twilight moments before the alicorns throw me in Tartarus.

"Thank you, Cozy," the stallion says at last. "I'd suspected... but now I know. Do you realise what would have happened if you'd succeeded? The impact on the planet of removing magic... the ecological collapse and mass extinction?"

I don't answer, staring down morosely at the floor, refusing to meet his eyes. Sure I know that now: Chrysalis had ranted about it more than once. Even Tirek admitted that he considered burning down the world preferable to another millennium stuck in a cage. I guess I'd just... not thought things through.

"I was twelve, ok? Eleven actually, when I first wrote to Tirek. I had to do something, I saw an opportunity and... golly, maybe it was a mistake, but at least I tried." Do I sound whiny? I hope not.

"Can you really say that the Princesses are doing a good job?" I murmur.

For a moment, a haunted look flashes across Pacific's face. "No... you are correct. On that matter at the very least. As for the allegation of unicorn favouritism, I have no personal experience of course, but I find it quite plausible. Unicorns do seem to play a disproportionate role in Equestrian history, for better and worse."

Again I'm struck by how formal Pacific's language is, especially for a teenager, and not in the fake-cultured way that unicorns from Canterlot finishing schools tended to speak. Silverstream wasn't that way at all: is it a stallion thing on Mount Aris?

Pacific turns to regard a scene in the mists: Princess Luna throwing me into a cell. I look dirty, bruised, defeated... not my finest moment. "For 'Conspiracy to Pervert and/or Destroy Friendship, Magic and the Equestrian Way', you - a filly who'd just turned twelve - were sentenced to life imprisonment in Tartarus."

"The royal decree received no judicial review and permitted no appeal. Raven Inkwell made an effort to notify your parents, but... as I said, nopony managed to trace you back to the orphanage."

I watch myself hurled into the cell: dragged out of the air by magic again, just like Prim locking me in the closet at the orphanage. Except this time I was being thrown in the most secure prison on Equus by one of our immortal alicorn rulers. That's kind of impressive, right?

"Yeah, like I said, nopony ever questions the princesses. If they did that to me, then I must have deserved it." Bitterness wells up in my voice. None of my so-called friends raised a hoof to defend me. "And I'm sure all the unicorns were howling for my head, after I inconvenienced them for a day or two."

My wings twitch with irritation. "At least they put me in next to Tirek, so I had somepony... some creature to talk to."

Pacific nods again. "The magic-draining centaur... your mentor? Your real mentor, that is, not... whatever Twilight thought she was. Did you escape together?"

The experience of revisiting these dramatic, emotional and formerly private events with a strange stallion is... odd, to say the least. Like I've passed on and reached the shadowlands, being judged on my earthly deeds... that... that isn't where I am, is it? I gulp, trying to dismiss the superstitious notion, then look away.

I don't want to let him see how much this whole conversation is affecting me. My whole past, dredged up. Pacific might be manipulating me... or he might just be a weird, curious bird-horse... but after years locked in stone this is overwhelming. I feel exposed... but I want to keep going, to see this through. I try to summon my cheery facade, to cover up everything I'm feeling.

"Well gosh, Tirek? He was more like... an uncle? A cranky, disreputable but cool uncle who's happy to show you his secret stash of illegal fireworks." I don't want to admit how desperate I was for a father figure: enough that a bitter, ancient ape-horse got the job.

"I'd love to say I came up with a cunning plan... but no, we didn't escape. We were summoned."

I make the scene shift: Tirek and I are chatting... I'd made him that ridiculous 'best friends rock sculpture', to try and break the ice. I think I was getting to him... but then we both disappear in a swirl of dark magic. The memory changes to a dank cave, where we come face to face with a lanky changeling queen and a shadowy unicorn king. I watch myself hide behind Tirek's legs: I wasn't acting. One minute I'd been making a rock sculpture, the next I was trapped in a cave full of merciless tyrants and monsters, with no way to defend myself.

"So... Discord teleported you directly to his cave?" Pacific Dream askes intently.

"The official story is that the Lord of Chaos pretended to be Grogar, a sorcerous ram from ancient legend, and offered you a chance to attack the alicorns. As some sort of misguided training exercise for Twilight? You agreed, but then betrayed him and took his magic to use against the princesses."

"Are you kidding me?" I shout. "Like I had a choice? Like any of us had a choice?"

I wave my hoof, willing the memory a few minutes forward. Grogar-Discord is there, towering over me with his glowing eyes and growling voice. With a flash of magic he hurls us all against the wall of the cave and pins us there. Even Sombra and Chrysalis, with powerful magic of their own, are helpless in the face of such arcane might. Disguised Discord rants for a bit about how we're all weak and fit to be nothing but his minions: Sombra gives him a bit of lip and is threatened with a swift execution.

"There, you see? It was obey or die horribly. Or... it sure seemed like it to us. Geez, they really let Discord off the hook for this? 'Training exercise', my ass." I grind my teeth at the sheer unfairness of it all.

Pacific shakes his head. "I'd suspected entrapment, but this... this is outright slavery. Did Twilight fall for his lies? Or did she know about this, and let him walk free anyway?"

The stallion stares at the image of Grogar for a moment, his wing half-spread and his talons clenching. Then he turns back to me. "I know he sent Sombra to his death, in a mockery of a solo attack. The Element Bearers killed the shadow king, with some help from Discord... just as he intended. But then you found a way to strip the Lord of Chaos of his magic?"

"I sure did! But if I'm honest... that was mostly his stupid fault as well. He sent us to get the Bewitching Bell."

I look into the mist: sure enough, it shows a montage of me, Chrysalis and Tirek climbing Mount Everhoof. The changeling queen impersonating Twilight to entertain us around the campfire... good times. At least, as good as hanging out with a couple of ancient tyrants can be. I convince the changeling to let Tirek borrow her magic for a while, then I fly into the cave at the mountain peak and grab the old bell.

"I don't know what his plan was, but of course we weren't going to let him have it! So I hid the bell... it took a few months to figure it out, but we worked out it could drain magic from one creature, store it then give it to another. The funny thing is... we didn't even get Discord's magic! We powered up using magic that was already in the bell: Grogar's, I guess. The real one."

The mists of my mindscape swirl and form into the scene: the three of us in the cave as the bell activates and releases its magic. Chrysalis gets a new crown, Tirek bulks up and I... I turn into an alicorn. My finest moment, really.

Pacific Dream stares at the memory. "It seems the 'official report' is a tracery of lies. One wonders how many of Twilight's published accounts fall into this category."

The hippogriff stallion looks at me, forlorn and trapped in my own mind, and then at the image of alicorn Cozy, grinning triumphantly with her new horn, customised regalia and expanded wings. "You look so happy. Confident. Really rather... pretty." He looks away before I can see him blush.

I look away as well, blushing and trying to hid a small smile. For a moment the thought makes me giddy... did he just say I was pretty? That's the last thing I expected from this strange bird horse. Then a pang of deep regret courses through my whole body as I watch my younger, more hopeful self preen in front of us. The feeling of being an alicorn had been... intoxicating, to say the least.

"Oh yes... it was my moment. For once ponies would look at me and not see some helpless stupid filly. I had real power... enough to do anything I ever dreamed. Enough to change Equestria. I wish it had lasted. I wish... I could be that filly again. Do things differently."

"You took away Discord's magic, then attacked and imprisoned Starlight, Celestia, Luna, the Pillars and the Element Bearers... but Twilight escaped to the Crystal Empire?" Pacific says quizically. "You very nearly won... until there was some kind of jailbreak."

The blue hippogriff fixes me with another of his signature inquisitive stares. "Say you could go back... what would you differently? Different tactics, or different strategy? Perhaps Twilight would have accepted you as an ally, if you'd betrayed Chrysalis and Tirek."

"Join Twilight... are you kidding me? Oh sure, maybe she'd accept my 'redemption' if I gave a good sob story. Turn me into a lackey like Discord or Tempest, use me to prop up her regime. But she'd never accept me as an equal, or a successor... she'd never let me change anything."

I stomp my hoof for emphasis. "What would I do differently? Well..."

I've had a lot of time to think about this. A new scene forms out of the mist: the battle in the throne room. Celestia and Luna fall for my bait and fire magic beams at me: I absorb them into the bell. Brilliant move, if I dare say so.

"See, I absorbed the princess magic, but it mixed with Discord's stupid uncontrollable chaos magic, and we didn't know how to unmix it again. I would've worked it out eventually... but if I'd dumped Discord's magic on some clueless pony before the fight, I could've absorbed Celestia and Luna's magic immediately and tripled my firepower! Plus... control of the Sun and Moon? That's a sweet deal, right?" I'm grinning eagerly at my own fantasy.

"Oh most certainly, but would that have sufficed to win the day?" Pacific countered. "I understand that at the final confrontation, you were hit by the greatest concentration of harmonic magic in recorded history. Stripped of your powers and alicornhood."

I don't want to see it, but the scene appears in the mist anyway: the choking shame and humiliation of my final defeat. My past self screams in terror as rainbow lasers arc through the sky, painfully burning away my horn and new-found magical abilities. To add to the humiliation Chaos-Pinkie drops a giant cupcake on the three of us, then finally Discord, Celestia and Luna imprison us in a statue. Behind them hundreds of creatures are watching with satisfaction: all of 'the great and the good' turned out to smack down this threat to the Ancien Régieme.

My heart pounds in my chest as I watch the scene. I've relived it many times already, so many times... and every time I wince as my younger self screams helplessly under the onslaught of magic from the Elements of Harmony, the Pillars and the so-called 'Heroic Six'. Being thrown against a wall by Discord had nothing on this.

"I know, I know! If only I'd studied the bell better, if only I'd tried harder to get Discord's chaos magic under control... but he lost to just the Elements, right? When they turned him into a statue, twice? Honestly... nothing could've prepared me for that. Even now I can still feel it. The crushing disappointment. The agony of having my magic ripped out and dispersed, the sheer terror... of knowing that nopony would save me, or even speak up for me. I was totally at their mercy, and guess what: they were all out."

I turn away, gritting my teeth in anger. Even if I found a way to escape this statue, how could I ever come back from that. Being utterly humiliated in front of all of Equestria. When I turn back to Pacific Dream, my voice is forlorn, defeated.

"I don't know if I could've won. There are some things I could have tried, if I'd known what was coming... but it was over so fast, I never had a chance." There... that's it. The end of my story. The hippogriff has what he came for.

"I'm sorry, Cozy Glow, truly." Pacific Dream says gravely.

"You are a brave mare... perhaps the bravest in Equestria. What you accomplished, you did without any of the wealth, knowledge, approval and powerful allies that Twilight enjoyed. You stood up for the truth, and you never gave up. You don't deserve this fate," the stallion tells me, looking deep into my eyes.

It's too much: I have to look away, as I can feel imaginary tears welling up in my eyes at the stallion's honest praise. When this surreal conversation had begun I'd expected judgement, condemnation, even mockery... but not any sort of respect. His words bring a strange, bitter-sweet feeling: it's not quite a comfort, certainly not an apology - it seems he's not here on behalf of Twilight after all - but it's almost a... kindness. I don't know what to say, so I just offer an uncomfortable smile of acknowledgement.

"Gee. Um... thanks. But life's not fair, right?" I look around awkwardly. "So... that's it. My life story. I guess this is it? You're going to go write an expose, or at least a school report or something."

I want to ask him to come back and visit me sometime, but pride makes me hold my tongue. I'm half-expecting him to transform into Discord and reveal this was all a mean-spirited prank.

"Ah, well... I must now admit that discovering the truth behind your legend was not my sole motive for visiting you today. The situation is, alas, even worse than you might imagine. After all I've heard, warning you is the least I can do." Once again, Pacific sounds impossibly grave and mature, at least compared to Silverstream, my main point of reference for hippogriff behaviour.

"If you would permit me to share certain memories of my own... ?"

Author's Note

'Cozy Glow burns down the orphange she was living in' is something of a cliche at this point. Or more charitably, we might say it is the most common trope for her origin story. The author's sympathies determine whether it's a perfectly wholesome orphanage vandalised by a psychopathic filly, or an evil house of horrors destroyed by a traumatised survivor.

Cozy's age is quite variable in fanfic: from eight to twelve if she's actually a filly - usually younger if the tone is comedy and older if it's more serious. Twenty to thirty for fans who subscribe to 'Baby Doll' theory (though not many of them seem to write Cozy stories), centuries to millenia when she is actually a demonic entity in disguise. Here I'm assuming the School of Friendship has a similar grade structure to US high school, and Cozy was a young-looking eleven when she joined.

If you've read 'The Hours of My Guilt', you can guess what Pacific is about to reveal.