Dashie and Me?! A Totally True (But Maybe Not Actually True) Hearth’s Warming Wedding Mystery!!!

by PinkieCrushie

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Mystery
Length: 3967

When mysterious posters announce Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie’s upcoming marriage, chaos and confusion (and congratulations?) ensue

Hearth's Warming Eve in Ponyville takes a chaotic turn when posters proclaiming the upcoming nuptials of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie appear mysteriously. While Rainbow Dash vehemently denies any such engagement, Pinkie Pie can't help but feel a pang of disappointment. As the Mane 6 investigate the prank, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash are paired together, leading to awkward conversations, unexpected confessions, and a flurry of festive fluff.

But beneath the surface of this holiday hoax lies a deeper mystery, and the truth behind the posters may be more complicated than anyone could imagine.

Will Pinkie's unrequited feelings remain hidden in the snow, or will this Hearth's Warming miracle bring two unlikely hearts together?

Category: Unrequited Yuri

Entry for the (Un)Happy New Yuri Contest!

Pet the Koi.

Published 2024-12-21 12:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-12-21 12:30:00 UTC

Ooooh! A Surprise Wedding! (That Wasn’t a Surprise…?)

Pinkie Pie bounced down the cobblestone streets of Ponyville, a basket overflowing with freshly baked sugar cookies swinging from her hoof. The air crackled with Hearth’s Warming cheer, snowflakes swirling like tiny dancers in the crisp air. Lanterns glowed warmly from shop windows, casting long shadows that stretched and danced along the snow-covered paths. Everypony seemed to be in high spirits, preparing for the big day. Pinkie herself had been up since the crack of dawn, baking enough treats to feed every pony in Equestria (and maybe a few griffons too, just in case). Hearth’s Warming is the best! Sharing sweets and smiles with all my friends! she thought, her tail giving an excited twitch. She hummed a merry tune, her hooves barely touching the ground as she skipped along.

Suddenly, a high-pitched shriek pierced the festive atmosphere, making Pinkie stumble and nearly drop her precious cargo. The shriek was followed by a whoosh of air and the distinct sound of rapidly beating wings. Looking up, Pinkie saw Rainbow Dash plummeting from the sky, her usually confident expression replaced with one of utter panic. She landed with a thump, sending a spray of snow into the air, her wings still trembling. “Pinkie! You gotta see this!” Rainbow Dash gasped, her voice strained. She shoved a crumpled piece of paper into Pinkie’s hooves. Pinkie blinked, her cheerful demeanor momentarily faltering as she took in Rainbow’s distress. Rainbow never looks this freaked out… unless… oh no! Did she run out of cider?

Pinkie unfolded the paper, her eyes widening as she took in the bold, brightly colored poster. It depicted a cartoonish drawing of Rainbow Dash and herself, dressed in wedding attire, standing beneath a heart-shaped archway decorated with candy canes and lightning bolts. A banner proclaimed, “Rainbow Dash & Pinkie Pie: A Hearth’s Warming Wedding!” in large, glittery letters. Below the picture, in smaller print, was the date and time of the supposed ceremony: Hearth’s Warming Eve, right here in Ponyville’s town square. Pinkie’s jaw dropped. A wedding? Me and Rainbow? But… but…Her thoughts were a jumbled mess of confusion and a strange flutter in her stomach.

Rainbow Dash paced back and forth, her hooves kicking up little puffs of snow. “This is insane! I would never… I mean, Pinkie, you’re my friend, but… marry you? This is some kind of sick joke!” she exclaimed, her voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and irritation.

Pinkie’s ears drooped slightly. Oh. The flutter in her stomach turned into a small, sinking feeling. She looked at the poster again, the cheerful image suddenly seeming less festive and more… awkward. She doesn’t… want to?

A small frown tugged at the corners of Pinkie’s mouth. She tried to force a smile, but it felt weak and strained. “Oh… well, I guess it is kinda silly,” Pinkie said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Just then, the rest of the Mane Six, along with Spike, arrived, drawn by Rainbow’s earlier outburst. Twilight Sparkle, ever the voice of reason, picked up the discarded poster and examined it with a critical eye. “This is certainly… unusual,” she remarked, adjusting her glasses.

Applejack squinted at the poster, her brow furrowed. “Looks like somepony’s idea of a Hearth’s Warming prank,” she drawled, her tone laced with suspicion.

Fluttershy gasped, her eyes wide with concern. “Oh dear, this must be very upsetting for you, Rainbow Dash,” she murmured, her voice soft and sympathetic.

Rarity, however, seemed more intrigued than concerned. “Well, I must say, the artwork is rather… bold,” she commented, tilting her head.

Spike snickered, earning a glare from Rainbow Dash. “Looks like somepony’s got a secret admirer!” he teased.

Rainbow Dash groaned, rubbing her forehead with her hoof. “This isn’t funny, guys! This is seriously messing with my Hearth’s Warming spirit!” she exclaimed, her voice laced with frustration. “I need to find out who did this!” She looked at Pinkie, her expression softening slightly. “No offense, Pinkie, but this whole ‘wedding’ thing is just… weird.”

Pinkie nodded slowly, her smile still feeling forced. “I understand, Rainbow,” she said quietly, though a small part of her wished she didn't. Maybe… maybe it wouldn’t have been so weird after all… she mused to herself.

Twilight, ever the problem solver, suggested they investigate the matter. “Perhaps if we work together, we can find out who’s behind this prank,” she suggested, her eyes gleaming with determination.

Applejack agreed. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, Rainbow,” she said firmly.

It was then decided that Pinkie and Rainbow would pair up to investigate, since the poster involved both of them. Rainbow Dash looked at Pinkie, a slightly apologetic look in her eyes. “Ready to solve this mystery, Pinkie?” she asked.

Pinkie perked up slightly, a genuine smile finally returning to her face. “You bet, Rainbow! This is gonna be a super-duper-fun detective adventure!” she exclaimed, her usual enthusiasm returning. Even if Rainbow doesn’t… you know… like me like that… maybe we can still have fun together.

The pair began their investigation by retracing Rainbow Dash’s flight path, hoping to find more posters or any clues as to their origin. Pinkie bounced along beside Rainbow, who flew just above the rooftops, her eyes scanning the streets below. Pinkie’s mind, however, was only partially on the task at hand. She kept glancing at Rainbow, her heart giving a little flutter every time their eyes met. She looks so cool when she’s focused… and so brave… and… Pinkie’s thoughts trailed off, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. She quickly shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Focus, Pinkie! This is a mystery, not a daydream!

As they rounded a corner, they spotted another poster plastered on the side of Sugarcube Corner. It was identical to the first one, except this time, it was slightly torn at the edges. Rainbow Dash landed beside it, examining the tear closely. “Looks like somepony tried to rip this one down,” she observed, her brow furrowed.

Pinkie gasped, her eyes widening. “Maybe that’s the culprit! Maybe they’re trying to cover their tracks!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement. She carefully peeled the torn piece of the poster from the wall, examining it closely. “Ooooh! It’s got glitter on it! And… is that… frosting?” she sniffed the torn piece, her nose twitching.

Rainbow Dash wrinkled her nose. “Frosting? Seriously, Pinkie?” she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. Pinkie shrugged, her eyes still glued to the torn piece of paper.

“Well, you never know! Maybe the culprit was eating a cupcake while they were putting up the posters!” she reasoned, her voice filled with logic only Pinkie Pie could possess. She carefully placed the torn piece in her pocket, deciding to keep it as evidence. This is just like a real detective story! We have clues, and suspects, and… and… she paused, tapping her hoof thoughtfully. We need a detective name! Like… Pinkie the Pony Private Investigator! Or… Rainbow and Pinkie’s Super Sleuthing Squad!

They continued their search, finding more posters scattered throughout Ponyville. Some were plastered on walls, others were stuck to lampposts, and one was even hanging from the statue of Mayor Mare. Each time they found a new poster, Rainbow’s frustration grew, while Pinkie tried her best to remain optimistic, though a small part of her couldn’t help but feel a little… disappointed. Rainbow really doesn’t like this… she really doesn’t want to… marry me… even if it’s just a joke… she thought sadly, her ears drooping slightly. She tried to shake off the feeling, reminding herself that this was a mystery to solve, not a romance novel.

As they walked past the Ponyville library, Pinkie suddenly stopped, her eyes widening. “Wait a minute!” she exclaimed, snapping her fingers. “Remember that time Twilight was researching for the Grand Galloping Gala, and she found all those old love poems? Maybe the culprit is trying to send a secret message!” she suggested, her voice filled with excitement.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Love poems? What are you talking about, Pinkie?” she asked, her voice laced with confusion.

Pinkie shrugged. “Well, you know, love poems! They’re all about hearts and flowers and… and… marrying your best friend!” she explained, her cheeks flushing slightly.

Rainbow Dash stared at her for a moment, her expression unreadable. Then, she let out a small chuckle. “Pinkie, you have the wildest imagination,” she said, shaking her head.

Pinkie giggled, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. Rainbow thinks I’m funny! she thought happily. Even though Rainbow didn’t seem to take her theory seriously, Pinkie couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to this prank than met the eye. She decided to keep her theory to herself for now, but she made a mental note to ask Twilight about those love poems later. Maybe, just maybe, they held the key to solving this mystery.

They decided to take a break from their search and grab some hot chocolate at Sugarcube Corner. As they sat at a small table near the window, sipping their drinks, Pinkie noticed Rainbow Dash staring out at the snow-covered streets, a thoughtful expression on her face. “What’s wrong, Rainbow?” she asked softly.

Rainbow sighed, turning to face her. “I just… I don’t understand why somepony would do this,” she said, her voice laced with frustration. “It’s not funny. It’s just… awkward.”

Pinkie nodded slowly, understanding dawning in her eyes. Rainbow’s not just upset about the prank itself… she’s upset about the… implication… she realized. She doesn’t want anypony to think that… that she would ever…

Pinkie reached out and gently placed a hoof on Rainbow’s. “It’s okay, Rainbow,” she said softly, her voice filled with reassurance. “I know you wouldn’t… you know… unless you wanted to,” she added quickly, her cheeks flushing a light pink. Rainbow looked at her, her expression softening.

“Thanks, Pinkie,” she said quietly. “I know you understand.” A comfortable silence fell between them, broken only by the crackling of the fireplace and the gentle murmur of conversations around them.

Pinkie took a sip of her chocolate, her eyes fixed on Rainbow. She’s really worried about what everypony thinks… she thought, a small frown tugging at her lips. But… what does she think?

Suddenly, Pinkie had an idea. “Rainbow,” she said, her voice filled with excitement. “Why don’t we just tell everypony that it’s a prank? That way, everypony will know that it’s not real, and then you won’t have to worry about what they think!”

Rainbow considered this for a moment, tapping her hoof thoughtfully. “That’s… actually not a bad idea, Pinkie,” she admitted. “But… what if the culprit just keeps putting up more posters?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Then we’ll just keep telling everypony it’s a prank! We’ll make it super clear that it’s not real!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with determination.

Rainbow smiled slightly. “You always know how to look on the bright side, Pinkie,” she said, a hint of admiration in her voice.

Pinkie giggled, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. Rainbow thinks I’m optimistic! she thought happily. They decided to put Pinkie’s plan into action right away. They stood up and announced to everypony in Sugarcube Corner that the wedding posters were a prank, and that there was no wedding taking place. Everypony seemed relieved to hear this, and some even offered to help them find the culprit.

As they left Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash turned to Pinkie, a grateful look in her eyes. “Thanks, Pinkie,” she said sincerely. “You really helped me out today.”

Pinkie beamed. “Anytime, Rainbow! That’s what friends are for!” she exclaimed. As they continued their search, Pinkie couldn’t help but feel a little bit hopeful. Maybe… maybe this whole thing isn’t so bad after all… maybe it’s even bringing us closer together… she thought, her heart giving a little flutter.

They continued their search throughout the afternoon, but they were unable to find any more clues. As the sun began to set, they decided to call it a day and meet up with the rest of the Mane Six to discuss their findings. They met up at Twilight’s library, where everypony was gathered around a table, sipping hot cocoa. Twilight had even set up a map of Ponyville, marking all the locations where they had found the posters. “So,” Twilight began, her eyes scanning the map. “It seems the posters are concentrated mostly in the center of town, with a few scattered around the outskirts.”

Applejack nodded. “That makes sense,” she said. “If somepony was tryin’ to get the most attention, they’d put ‘em up where everypony could see ‘em.”

Rarity, however, had a different observation. “I noticed that the posters are all placed in rather… strategic locations,” she commented. “They’re all near places where ponies frequent, such as shops, restaurants, and public spaces.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Oh dear,” she murmured. “That means the culprit must know Ponyville very well.”

Spike, who had been quietly munching on a gem, suddenly spoke up. “Hey,” he said, his voice muffled. “Didn’t we see Lyra and Bon Bon putting up decorations earlier today?”

Everypony turned to look at him, their eyes widening. Twilight gasped. “You’re right, Spike!” she exclaimed. “They were decorating the town square for the Hearth’s Warming Eve celebration!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened. Lyra and Bon Bon? But… they’re such good friends! Why would they do this? she thought, her mind reeling.

Rainbow Dash, however, seemed less surprised. “Lyra and Bon Bon, huh?” she said, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I guess it’s worth checking out.” They decided to pay Lyra and Bon Bon a visit and see if they knew anything about the posters.

They found Lyra and Bon Bon in the town square, putting the finishing touches on a large Hearth’s Warming tree. Lyra was carefully stringing lights around the branches, while Bon Bon was arranging ornaments. They both looked surprised to see the Mane Six and Spike approaching them. "Oh, hello everypony!" Lyra chirped, a cheerful smile on her face.

Bon Bon waved, her expression equally friendly. "What brings you all here?" she asked.

Rainbow Dash cut straight to the chase. "We were wondering if you two had seen anything unusual while you were decorating," she said, her voice serious.

Lyra and Bon Bon exchanged a confused glance. "Unusual?" Lyra repeated, tilting her head. "Like what?"

Twilight then pulled out one of the posters from her bag and showed it to them. Lyra gasped, her eyes widening. Bon Bon’s jaw dropped. "Where did you find this?" Bon Bon asked, her voice filled with surprise.

"They've been posted all over Ponyville," Applejack explained. "We're trying to find out who's behind it."

Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other, their expressions a mixture of shock and concern. "We haven't seen anything," Lyra said, shaking her head.

"We've been here all day, decorating the tree." Bon Bon nodded in agreement.

"We would have noticed if somepony was putting up posters like that." Pinkie, however, noticed something odd. Lyra kept glancing nervously at Bon Bon, and Bon Bon seemed to be avoiding eye contact with the rest of the group. They’re acting strange… Pinkie thought, her eyes narrowing. Are they hiding something?

Pinkie decided to try a different approach. She bounced over to Lyra and Bon Bon, her usual cheerful smile plastered on her face. "So," she began, her voice light and airy. "Did you two have fun decorating today? Did anypony help you? Maybe… somepony who likes to play pranks?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Lyra and Bon Bon exchanged another nervous glance. Then, Lyra let out a small sigh. "Okay, okay," she admitted. "We did see somepony… but we didn't think it was a big deal."

"Who did you see?" Rainbow Dash asked, her voice sharp. Bon Bon hesitated for a moment, then finally spoke up.

"We saw… Derpy," she said quietly. Everypony gasped. Derpy was known for her… unique way of doing things, and it wouldn't be entirely out of character for her to accidentally cause some mischief.

"Derpy?" Twilight asked, her voice filled with surprise. "Are you sure?"

Lyra nodded. "We saw her carrying a stack of posters earlier today," she explained. "She seemed to be having trouble keeping them from falling."

Pinkie’s heart sank. Derpy? But… she’s so sweet! Why would she do this? she thought, her mind reeling. She couldn’t believe that Derpy would intentionally try to cause trouble. There had to be a misunderstanding.

Rainbow Dash, however, seemed convinced. "That explains everything," she said, her voice laced with frustration. "It had to be Derpy."

They decided to go and talk to Derpy and find out what she knew about the posters. They found Derpy at her house, surrounded by stacks of mail. She looked up when they arrived, a cheerful smile on her face. "Hello everypony!" she greeted them, her voice slightly muffled by a mouthful of muffins.

Rainbow Dash showed her one of the posters. "Derpy," she began, her voice gentle. "Did you put these up around Ponyville?"

Derpy looked at the poster, her eyes widening. "Oh dear," she murmured. "Did I do that?" She looked around at the stacks of mail surrounding her, then back at the poster. "I was trying to deliver these Hearth's Warming cards," she explained. "But they kept falling out of my bag, and I must have mixed them up with these posters by accident!"

A wave of relief washed over Pinkie. It was an accident! I knew it! she thought happily. Rainbow Dash sighed, rubbing her forehead with her hoof. "So, you didn't mean to put these up?" she asked.

Derpy shook her head vigorously. "Oh no! I would never do that on purpose!" she exclaimed. "I'm so sorry if I caused any trouble."

Rainbow Dash smiled slightly. "It's okay, Derpy," she said. "It was just a misunderstanding." Pinkie bounced over to Derpy and gave her a big hug.

"Yeah, it’s okay, Derpy! We all make mistakes sometimes!" she said cheerfully.

With the mystery solved, everypony felt relieved. The Hearth’s Warming spirit was restored, and preparations for the big day continued without a hitch. However, Pinkie still felt a little… uneasy. Something about the whole situation still didn't quite add up. If Derpy had simply mixed up the posters with the mail, then why were the posters so specifically designed? Why were they all about Rainbow Dash and her? It seemed like too much of a coincidence. Maybe… maybe there’s still more to this story than we know… she thought, her brow furrowed. She decided to keep her suspicions to herself for now, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that the mystery wasn’t completely solved.

The Hearth’s Warming Eve celebration arrived, and Ponyville was abuzz with festive cheer. The town square was transformed into a winter wonderland, with twinkling lights, colorful decorations, and a giant Hearth’s Warming tree at its center. Everypony was gathered, sharing stories, exchanging gifts, and enjoying the festive atmosphere. Pinkie, despite the lingering unease about the posters, tried her best to embrace the holiday spirit. She bounced from pony to pony, offering hugs, sharing sweets, and spreading her infectious joy.

She kept an eye on Rainbow Dash, who seemed much more relaxed now that the mystery of the posters had been solved. Rainbow was laughing and chatting with her friends, her usual confident demeanor fully restored. Pinkie couldn’t help but smile as she watched her. She looks so happy… she thought, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. But that small, nagging feeling in the back of her mind wouldn't completely disappear. She found herself glancing around the square, half-expecting to see another poster appear out of nowhere.

As the evening progressed, the ponies gathered around the Hearth’s Warming tree for the traditional gift exchange. Pinkie had made special personalized gifts for all her friends, each one carefully crafted with their individual tastes in mind. She gave Rainbow Dash a pair of custom-made goggles with lightning bolt designs on the sides. Rainbow’s eyes lit up when she saw them. “These are awesome, Pinkie!” she exclaimed, giving her a grateful hug. Pinkie beamed, her heart swelling with happiness.

After the gift exchange, everypony began to sing Hearth’s Warming carols. Pinkie joined in, her voice ringing out with joyful enthusiasm. As she sang, she noticed Twilight looking at her with a thoughtful expression. After the song ended, Twilight approached her. "Pinkie," she began, her voice quiet. "I've been thinking about what you said earlier, about the love poems."

Pinkie's ears perked up. Twilight remembers! she thought, her heart giving a little leap.

"I did some research," Twilight continued. "And I found something interesting. There's an old Hearth's Warming tradition, where ponies would anonymously send love poems to their crushes as a way of expressing their feelings."

Pinkie's eyes widened. A secret admirer… sending love poems… she thought, her mind racing. She suddenly remembered the way Lyra and Bon Bon had been acting earlier, the nervous glances, the avoidance of eye contact. A realization dawned on her.

She excused herself from Twilight and quickly made her way over to Lyra and Bon Bon, who were standing near the punch bowl. "Lyra," Pinkie began, her voice serious. "Did you… send those posters?"

Lyra and Bon Bon exchanged a panicked glance. Lyra looked down at her hooves, her cheeks flushing a light pink. "Okay, fine," she admitted quietly. "It was us." Pinkie gasped, but she wasn’t angry. She understood.

"But… why?" she asked softly.

Lyra sighed. "Well," she began, "Bon Bon and I… we wanted to do something special for Hearth's Warming. And we know how much you and Rainbow mean to each other. We thought it would be a fun prank." Bon Bon nodded in agreement. "We didn't mean to cause any trouble," she added. "We just wanted to spread some Hearth's Warming cheer."

Pinkie smiled gently. "I know you did," she said. "But… why the wedding theme?"

Lyra blushed even harder. "Well," she mumbled, "we thought it would be… romantic."

Pinkie’s eyes widened. Romantic?she thought, her heart giving a little flutter. She looked over at Rainbow Dash, who was now talking with Applejack. They thought… Rainbow and I… The pieces of the puzzle suddenly clicked into place. The strategic placement of the posters, the specific design, the nervous behavior of Lyra and Bon Bon… it all made sense now.

Pinkie realized that Lyra and Bon Bon hadn't just been playing a prank. They had been trying to express their own feelings, their own hopes for a happy ending for Pinkie and Rainbow. It was a misguided attempt, but it came from a place of genuine affection. Pinkie felt a wave of warmth wash over her. Even though Rainbow didn’t reciprocate her feelings, it was touching to know that somepony believed in their potential.

Pinkie decided not to tell Rainbow the full truth. She didn't want to embarrass Lyra and Bon Bon, and she didn't want to make Rainbow uncomfortable. She simply told Rainbow that it had been a silly misunderstanding, and that everypony could now enjoy the rest of the Hearth’s Warming celebration. Rainbow seemed satisfied with this explanation, and the two of them joined the rest of their friends in singing carols and sharing stories.

As the night drew to a close, Pinkie stood beside Rainbow, watching the snow fall gently around them. She looked at Rainbow, her heart filled with a mixture of warmth and sadness. Maybe… maybe it was just a silly prank… she thought. But… maybe… just maybe… it was a little bit more than that too. She smiled to herself, a small, secret smile that only she understood. The Hearth’s Warming mystery had been solved, but for Pinkie, a different kind of understanding had just begun.