Ah, Sunday.

A respite for the weary. A break from oppressive mundanity. A playground for the lazy. Late awakenings - unless you're crazy enough to attend church - hearty, fattening breakfasts, fun and leisure in the warm sun, and maybe even a cozy neighborhood get-together over someone's grill. And definitely no work!

I believe that last was actually divinely ordained several times over.

The only black mark on the morning was that Dimble had finally figured out that I'd relocated from my room to the couch, while also reacquiring an early morning habit from Etherea. I had gotten him trained that breakfast was whenever I got up. But today, for the first time in a long time, he turned a cat's greatest weapon directly on me.

Walk up the Alex.

Walk down the Alex.

Walk up the Alex.

Repeat until fed.

I was just glad he hadn't dragged Etherea into it again. Last night she'd been up later than I'd ever seen while also being thoroughly hopped up on sugar. Given the stillness of the apartment when I fed Dimble, and the relative lateness of the morning - a whole hour past sunrise - she'd probably crashed hard. Let her sleep, though. We all deserved it.

It was some time later that I was draped comfortably across the couch, periodically shifting and stretching, and for the second time that morning finding consciousness little by little, when a click and a creak finally brought me back. I blinked as my eyes tried to focus on the far wall, slowly realizing that it just wasn't going to work without contacts. And that the noise had come from front door.

My head jerked upward. Who...?

Craig, duh. Of course it was. Who else would just waltz in through the front door on a Sunday morning?

Though waltzing was a ludicrously liberal interpretation.

His head appeared to be trying to drag his shoulders down, bending him forward and making him look about to fall over with each step. If the scuffing sounds were any indication then his feet were barely making it off the ground. It was hard to tell without my contacts but I think even his hat was askew. As he ambled around the corner of the counter into the kitchen, arms limply reaching out to the surrounding surfaces for balance, my interest only grew.

It was a walk of shame in all its post-coital glory.

"So..." Apparently I'd swallowed some gravel but did my best to wet my palate. "So, have a good time?"

The zombie's head swung in my general direction to the tune of a low, extended grunt. "Fu'in' h'ngov'r. Nnnnggggg..." He shook his head, one hand on the fridge and the other coming up to scratch the top of his cap. "T'tally wrth it tho. J's need c'ffeee..."

I let my head flop back against my pillow and laughed. "Yup. Sounds like a good one." I knew what was next, and that it would happen whether I wanted it to or not. It was time I got up anyways. "I'll get my eyes in and then you can tell me all about it."

"Cn't 'nderstand how you stick yur f'ngers 'n yur eyes ev'ry day."

Because it was necessary? And contacts were just so much better than glasses. But there was no point in trying to make him understand that right now so I just rolled out of the blankets and padded toward the bathroom. A curious glace down the hallway revealed a still-shut door guarding my room. No sounds either. Not that I'd probably know if Etherea had snuck out and was standing behind me. Stupid ninja-icorns...

Nope, she wasn't behind me either. Yes, I checked. Though I snorted in good natured self-derision.

As had become routine over the past couple of days, the mirror provided a quiet moment of introspection. Yet a brief rundown of all of my recurring questions gain left me with no new answers. I didn't like the lingering discomfort from not knowing but I again brushed it off, telling myself - somewhat truthfully - that there was nothing I could do at this exact moment.

Etherea remained absent as I headed back to find Craig leaning over the counter, his back to me and stiff arms propping up his shoulders. Staring the coffee maker into brewing faster, I guess. Or maybe he'd passed out like that.

"You alive?"

"Yeah." The finality in his answer made me roll my eyes.

I edged around him to fix myself a bowl of cereal, leaving him to whatever it was he was up to. Then I sat down across the island from where Craig was - the stove and range a little ways to my right - to ponder what, if anything, should be done for the princess' own breakfast. I looked across the short, intervening space. Check that, the stove clock was saying this was now an early lunch. She was really sleeping in.

The stool to my right finally acquired a Craig, a steaming mug in his grip and eyes staring blankly out across the living area. I remained silent, knowing he'd still need a little before recovering much coherency. Or at least as much as he ever got. So I contentedly munched away, thoughts meandering into what the heck we were going to do today. I'm sure there'd be some fallout from last night, both Craig's evening and mine.

My eyes drifted over-

Click.

Creak.

That was right behind me!

Whipping my head around slapped me on the other side with my own damned hair. Nobody should be barging in here and for the tiniest second I considered whether Etherea might have gone outside for any reason. Then a boot stepped in past the jam. Black, slim, and narrow over a small foot. It was pointed with short heels and sporting a line of buckles down the front.

A girl.

The boot came almost up to her knee but above that there was only the skin of thin yet shapely thighs. A faintly pleated teal skirt with an abstract dark blue pattern on the waistband came next, both ends of it decent by only an inch or so. A white button-down blouse completed the almost schoolgirl-ish look. Loosely-curled auburn hair - unnaturally bright at that - framed a face full of hard angles that somehow still maintained pleasant contours. Petite and pretty, even if she had about five too many 'facial accessories.'

Seriously, the small black stud taking the place of a beauty mark was a little weird.

A name popped into my head as her bluish gray eyes scanned around and landed on us. Cassie.

What was she...?

Oh.

Confirmation came from noticing that everything about her was faintly disarrayed. She was one of a couple of girls that I considered Craig's 'regulars' - women who shared Craig's views on relationships. In other words, they just liked getting laid. That's why I wasn't very interested; I had no real desire for someone who Craig had been inside. Multiple times.

Anger fought with rapidly spreading fear and my eyes narrowed as I turned back to Craig, he just now noticing our guest. If only I could have screamed that at him for having gone home last night with one of the few girls who actually knew us.

"Oh hey, there you are. Hi, Alex!" She paused mid-turn to cast a critical eye down me as she smiled brightly. "Oh wow, no shirt today. What's the occasion?"

Sure, let's toss on some casual embarrassment. "Uhhh... just, um, woke up." At least that bought me some time. Cohesiveness was still building far too slowly.

"You too?" She turned her head slightly, her smile drifting to more suggestive. "You have a goooood night too?"

Yes, but not like that. "Ummmmm..."

"Cass...," Craig tried before a cough cut him off.

That left this up to me. Fuck. "Cassie. What are you doing here?" The likely answers only added to my worry.

"Well, this guy here," she stepped around Craig while trailing fingers across his shoulders, "wasn't going to bring himself back. He's, like, too hung-over." Did I mention she's a bit of an airhead? "I was about to leave when I thought, 'hey, I'm hungry.' And what does a gentleman do after he fucks a girl silly? He makes her breakfast! So here I am."

Well, didn't she have a funny definition of 'gentleman?'

"So, what did you do last night?"

I blinked as Cassie began fiddling with the coffee machine, feeling like a fish flopping around a desert as I tried to reign in my panic. Craig wasn't any help, sitting ramrod straight with bulging eyes and hands trying to crush his coffee mug.

"Ummmmm..." I couldn't stop myself from looking toward the couch. Cassie's eyes chased after.

"You slept on the couch?"

"C-c-cass-sie?" Craig still looked like he was facing down an oncoming train.

Her brows drew together as she turned to look at Craig, leaning backwards against the counter as she raised her cup to her lips. "What's gotten in to you? It's not like I haven't been here before. Hell, I was naked - with you - like an hour ago. You look like..." Her eyes went back to the couch. "Alex? Oh my God, did something happen last night?" Her grin became overly pleased, like she'd unearthed a juicy secret.

And since we had Etherea, a pony, in the apartment...

No! We had to get Cassie out of here! "Ummmmm..." GODDAMNIT! I needed an answer! And fast!

"I, uh, just kinda' fell asleep on it while staying up late watching some TV." At least I somehow kept my voice level. "Um, didn't feel like getting back up so I brought everything out and settled in." Flimsiest excuse ever but her smile gradually became less knowing.

"Alright." Yes! She bought it! Now I just needed to stop shaking. "Kinda' a good thing. Rachel was there last night."

"I heard." At least the diversion was just slightly more palatable.

"Wasn't looking for you or anything, but still." She turned around again, distracting with how close her ass was peeking out under the edge of her skirt. "Anyway. Got anything for toast?"

"Yeah..." I latched onto the conversation thread like it would save my life, directing Cassie to the necessary foodstuffs.

Every one of her movements came with just a little extra turn or shift, each one accentuating her butt. Given Craig's 'experience' with her I'd say it was well-rehearsed. In spite of the barely-hidden ass crying out for attention I used Cassie's turned back to engage in a quick and furious pantomime tirade at Craig. Too bad all the arm waving in the world wasn't enough to communicate what I just couldn't just say. The increasing frustration in his own came over loud and clear but return understanding just wasn't there. His hangover probably wasn't helping.

We carefully, and quite suspiciously I'm sure, went back to doing nothing when she turned and joined us at the island. But she didn't even bat an eye while setting her food down across from me.

Y'know, Cassie's obliviousness might actually work in our favor! She had no reason to go near my room. As long as Craig and I played dumb, and Etherea remained hidden - she wasn't dumb enough to throw away her cautiousness now, of all times - then Cassie could eat in peace and be on her way. It was dangerous, and I hated being a mere wall away from everything breaking down, but all we really had to do was wait.

"So dark in here." I jumped on my seat when Cassie suddenly mumbled around a crunchy mouthful. "Sheesh, it's like you two live in a cave. Should open those windows so we can see."

"I did just get up y'know." Keep the conversation innocent, Alex. "I'll get to 'em when Craig's had some time to recover." I glanced around "Actually..."

I eased off the stool and made my way across the living area, idly noting that it was too late to move the end table next to the island to a less suspicious location. The entire area acquired a warm yellow cast as the distant corner lamp came on. Enough to see by but not enough to hurt the eyes.

A quick check for errant feathers thankfully turned up nothing.

"Cassie, y'can't be here."

I faltered, barely getting my foot forward to prevent myself from face-planting. No Craig! NonononoNoNoNONO! NO! All you had to do was stay quiet! Now...

"Why not?"

Bingo! That's what I was trying to avoid!

Craig's bleary eyes came around slowly, latching onto mine. For a moment nothing happened. Then it struck me. He'd gotten himself into this but somehow I was supposed to get both of us out?! I'd probably never been so close to actually decking his sorry ass straight into the floor.

"Alex?" The call was soft and hesitant. Feminine. And from deeper in the apartment. My blood went cold so fast that I shivered. Apparently the universe was cashing in everything it was owed.

I scrambled for an answer - any answer. But the only solution was impossible: to rewind back the past minute. So I stood frozen, my thoughts chaotic and desperate to dodge a meeting that now looked all but inevitable.

"Alex."

I zoned back in at Cassie's call for attention. Craig was bent over his mug, staring at the island top, and her eyes were practically twinkling.

"Fell asleep on the couch, huh?" She jiggled her eyebrows at me, grinning expectantly. "Go on, go to her already."

Right. Right. Go fetch the alien hiding in the back of my apartment so you can... can...

Fuck it. If there was any chance of saving this it wasn't with me stranded here. That didn't mean my foot wasn't shaking as I took the first step. Though my stride was surprisingly steady once I got moving. But as I passed into the hallway a couple body-shaking tremors caught up with me and I had to put a hand on the wall to hold myself up. For a long moment there was only the sound of my heart thundering in my ears.

Yet some small part of me was instinctually fighting back. A nugget of purpose worked to quell the worst of it despite me having no idea what to actually do. I lifted my head toward the faint sliver of light crawling across the floor at the other end of the hall that marked my destination. In the background Cassie was asking Craig whether he was alright as I managed another step.

Maybe we could convince Cassie that Etherea had a headache and didn't want to come out.

No, not good enough. There was no way Cassie would let that slide. It was too contrived; too evasive. Me sleeping on the couch while some girl hid out in my room was a far too interesting for her to just drop. Claiming that Etherea was sick gave me a good excuse to sleep on the couch but the idea felt similarly flimsy.

I just didn't know...

The hope that maybe Etherea would have some ideas was the only thing that kept my nervousness to a manageable level. Without thinking I reached for the knob, twisted, and found the door blocked.

Right! Etherea was probably holding the other side.

"Alex?"

"Yeah. It's me."

The possibility that she might want more proof than hearing my voice entered my head just before the door slowly swung away from me. Well, alright. Let's see what we can do about this situation.

As I stepped inside my room every thought in my head ground to a halt. Backing away from the door with hesitant steps, a hand on the wall for balance, was a girl. A GIRL! A motherfucking human girl!

I gave the room a second check. The only other occupant was a still a pale-skinned girl about my height who was wearing jeans and an old black Linkin Park t-shirt. Though the clothes were just a bit too big for her, she was clearly rather trim underneath. Unnaturally vibrant purple irises that shone from wide, quivering wide eyes added an exotic touch to her fine-featured complexion. Long, wavy hair spilled over her shoulders, shifting between brown and deep blue based on the angle just like a multi-hued car paint.

And all of that just accented the nasty-looking scab on one side of her forehead.

It... The fuck...? I... What?

I just stared back at her, my mind full of...

She tried to take a step forward but stopped when she wobbled. "Alex? Lonesvar sher..." The voice was Etherea's. Mostly. It was weird hearing Equestrian without her usual undertone. "Esva...?"

Also, why the fuck hadn't she done something like this last night?

"Etherea?" It was a fucking dumb question. Speaking Equestrian, that hair, those eyes, that... head wound; she could only be her!

But that was impossible! Right?

"K-kay... Kayel." Her left hand - the one away from the wall - rose to her breast as she nodded. She twitched when she made contact, her hand jumping away. Her face flushed lightly as she set her hand back against her thigh. "Etherea."

I just nodded dumbly. Of course she was. Unfortunately I couldn't think of what to do next. There was a random girl in my room. And she was a pony inside. It's like my brain was a round hole and I was trying to shove a square idea into it.

Eventually Etherea began to fidget. Something needed to happen.

'So... how did...? This!" I threw out both hands toward her. "What and...?"

"Sh-shi enusar nonduantar easu. Hen easu..." She trailed off, her cheeks going a bit rosy as her eyes darted around the area.

Of course, of course. I was an idiot. Okay, so first we needed her to cast her translation spell. I had to assume she could still use magic like this.

Actually, after looking around, the first thing we needed was privacy. Then there could be magic - not that kind, brain, now isn't the fucking time - then questions. She nodded when I gestured toward the bed, carefully turning around while keeping a palm on the wall. I shut the door as quietly as I could - the attempt at pointless secrecy again leaving me feeling silly - and the bed squeaked in protest behind me as she landed on it.

The girl - she's Etherea! - shifted her hips subtly now and again as I approached step by agonizing step, her eyes alternating between mine and a faint distantness every time she wiggled. Her hands were no less active, as though intent on smoothing out the very texture of her jeans. It made sense, I guess. A girl who normally had hooves, and who was generally completely naked, would probably be distracted by all the new textures.

Unfortunately, with the way she was fidgeting, this could easily be a very embarrassing conversation. I did my best to force my discomfort into the background and sat a comfortable distance - for me at least - down the bed.

A deep breath brought her back up straight as she gestured to herself and said, "Etherea."

I'd heard her, certainly, but nobody in my position could possibly have listened. Not with the way the usual golden backlighting from her horn now surrounded her whole head. It was a bit more diffuse than I was used to but she had an actual, honest-to-God halo. If her wings had still been there she would be able to break the beliefs of billions by simply walking outside and casting one spell.

Her right hand entered my vision, cautiously going to the top of her head. I finally noticed the look she was giving me: chin down and slightly away, and eyes piercingly wary. I mentally gave myself a shake as I tried to refocus past this latest world-breaking development. It was just Etherea here!

"S-Sorry. It's just..." I shook my head. She still couldn't understand me! I pointed to myself. "Alex."

What followed was one of the more 'to the point' applications of her spell, being almost terse compared to the past few times. I felt a bit bad that things were so on edge but Cassie was in the next room, and Etherea... I couldn't stop trying to look because, well, somehow she wasn't a pony!

We remained silent for some time after she finally called her spell complete. For my part, there didn't seem to be a good place to start. Any question I considered immediately branched out into related or preceding ones that were just as important. Etherea was apparently content to give me time to sort myself out, though it might have simply been that feeling and playing with things - the pants, shirt, or even the bed sheets - was constantly distracting. She kept catching herself with a start, putting her hands elsewhere, then unconsciously beginning again.

All the while I had to try to not simply stare. She was about the same height as me which accented the lean figure somewhat hidden under her clothes. Her lips were a bit on the thin side but had the faintest of curls at the corners, giving her that attractive 'about to smile' look. Gently curved eyebrows sat above pleasantly doe-ish eyes. The last probably came from her mother but the rest...

It's like she'd stepped right out of that style magazine I'd given her. How much was carried over from her alicorn features and how much had she designed?

"I-is this...? Is my form, um...," I dragged my focus up to her face as she struggled to articulate something, "...appropriate?"

Too bad the only thing I could come up with was a wonderful non sequitor. "How...?"

She blinked and glanced around. "It's a changeling... shape shifting spell modified for ponies."

Oh. Oh! All that time with her changeling friend... The name evaded me right then.

I still hadn't answered Etherea's question though. "Well, yes..." She scrunched her eyes in confusion. "I mean your, um," don't say 'body,' "form is appropriate. So... This is how you would look as a human?"

That made her think for a little. "It is... complicated. I used your drawings and... the magazines to design the neshurelisayah... to make a, um, template. Its erdreknikarst compared to my neshuriennen to, um, combine and generate...? Yes, they combine to generate a useable alternate form. There is some leeway... to modify the ulknara..." she gave a petite huff, "the final result and refine the appearance."

She shook her head, brushing her hair back after it fell over the front of her shoulders, somewhat stiffly using all of her fingers as a group. "It is frustrating that your language just... does not have... equivalents for Equestrian magical terms." She huffed again but continued before I could get a word in. "So the answer to your... question is yes and no. I would have to spend some time examining how the... template interacted with my... Ugh! ...my neshuriennen to see how much came from either."

That didn't sound safe at all. "Ummmm... Alright? So, um, you don't have full control over what's going to happen?"

Her brow creased for a moment. "Again, yes and no. It is... largely intuition. The spell cannot return a... an unstable or impossible result... because in such a case the, um, spell as a whole is designed to fail. You would not want... to cast a spell that might simply kill you." Though smaller now, her violet eyes could still project the same force. "Is this a suitable human body?"

Right, we'd been side-tracked. "Ahhhh... Yes. The, um, eyes and hair are really unusual though." she twitched and touched one of the dangling locks. "Can... Are you able to do anything about them?" The scab on her forehead was unfortunate, but I was betting that if she'd been able to do anything about it she already would have.

"Ummm... it would take some time to adjust it. And to... recast the spell. It was only with your drawings and those magazines that I had... enough to even start." A light head shake came with faint frown. "This has worked amazingly well given the amount... of time I have had."

It sounded like there was more behind that but I nodded anyways. Now wasn't the time. "Okay, so do you know what's going on?" Another dumb question - she hadn't been able to understand English for more than the last minute!

"I heard somepony I did not recognize." She caught my eyes with a level stare.

"Yeah, ummmm... So, there's a girl out there named Cassie. Craig was with her last night..."

Just like that her eyes went steely, threatening dire consequences. "You told him to not bring... anypony here, did you not?!"

She had heard last night's conversation from across the apartment?! My gut clenched. Had she heard the rest? With her normal pony ears it might not be too hard. That meant...

But she hadn't complained, so either she'd assumed the contents or wasn't that concerned about our banter. It was somewhat comforting even if I was still mortified. Craig and I had talked about... Never mind. Not important right now.

"Well, um... Yeah, I did." I ran my fingers through my hair, an action that Etherea's eyes followed closely. "She dropped him off but came back, I guess. She knows Craig so she just walked right in. We didn't have any say in it."

"So it is, um, very fortunate that I... decided to work on this last night."

She had me there. And I had to push back a resurgence of questions about her shape shifting.

"She, uhh, actually had no clue until you spoke up. She probably would have left on her own in a little if we'd just kept-" I clamped my damned mouth shut but Etherea had already flinched, her eyes widening as several conflicting emotions washed across her features. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I'd essentially told her that she'd fucked everything up!

"I had no idea what was, um... happening," she whispered with an unhappy blush and a guarded tilt to her head. "I could hear somepony new in... the apartment but could not understand what was being said."

I backpedaled in my head, looking for a way to spin this positively for her. "I, um... Well... It was kind of a mistake, but she was probably suspicious anyways. And you know, uh, you've got this whole thing," a hand wave indicated her new body, "to cover for you. I guess, um, it's not that bad since she's not going to see a pony. Y'know?"

The girl...

I had to remember that she was Etherea!

She sat quietly for a little, unhappily motionless except for fingers that were idly exploring the edges of her clothes. I had to do something more though I was nervous about doing so.

"I'd say it's actually kind of a good thing you called me in here. You needed to know what was going on, first off, and, ummm... This way I can help prepare you if you're, uh, going out there." I really didn't like that idea since there was so much that could go wrong, but doing it this way was much better than showing Cassie Earth's first verified extraterrestrial visitor.

"I suppose there is that." A heavy sigh punctuated her mood. Then she brought her eyes back up and she showed a rueful smile. "Is it wrong of me to be... excited to go out and meet her?"

"Uh, er... I suppose not. I think she's eager to meet you too." For completely different reasons, I'm sure. "You don't actually have to, you know. You could, um, take a shower or something..." The idea still sounded incredibly weak.

And her deciding on an answer took all of two seconds. "No. I think I... would like to do this." Determination grew in her eyes as she sat up straighter.

"What about walking?" I indicated her legs, though the possibility of her already having done something like this flashed through my thoughts. It wasn't like I was attempting to avoid the situation. Certainly not. "How much practice have you had? And... And you know you can't use magic or anything either."

"I believe I will be fine." There was a faint unsteadiness in her eyes but her voice was confident. Then she leaned forward, put a hand on the wall, and stood. She held still for a moment before turning her head and smiling. "It is quite a... bit different. My joints are all there," she looked toward her feet, "but in the wrong places. It feels almost like they now bend... the wrong direction. That is not true though; they... have simply moved."

Intellectually that made sense. I nodded, unsure what I was supposed to actually do.

"It feels like I should stand like this," she slowly rose lifted onto the balls of her feet, wobbling a bit in spite of the hand planted beside her, "but then my balance... feels more unstable. I have to trust when a motion feels... right. It is difficult because everything is off, but that is true to an extent of... every transformation. I just need some time to... acclimate." Her smile grew, showing a neat line of pearly whites.

At least her teeth looked human. That begged the question of how she'd found enough information on them - my drawings weren't that detailed - or if I just couldn't tell the difference.

My sigh was involuntary. I opened my mouth-

"I will be fine, Alex."

Well, yes, I'd wanted to be absolutely sure of that. "Only if you're absolutely sure."

Her nod was quick but she was still standing very carefully.

"I still don't like it, but at least if you can just be a human then everything will be a lot easier." I also stood quickly because I knew that the longer I sat and worried, the harder it would be to get moving. "But there's not much I can do except go through with it."

Etherea followed with a step toward me, her features softening. At least she was standing steadily enough without any other support. She lifted her hands forward a few inches and I turned to see what she was doing, making her pause. The faintest grimace crossed her face and she stepped in close to put her left hand on my shoulder. She blinked as she made contact, but brought her eyes up and gave an easy grin.

"It will be alright, Alex. Now I am just another human."

We both knew that wasn't true. But I also knew what she was trying to do, and the comfort was nice, even if it did little to ease my worries. Especially since she, herself, was more distracting now. I nodded anyways, trying to show that I was fine.

"Okay then. If you're sure." She didn't waver. "Tell you what. I'll go on ahead and let them know you're coming. You'll have the whole hall to decide whether you'll be okay walking around. If not then just head into the bathroom and turn on the shower."

"Very well."

Good! It was actually kind of reassuring that she would consider aborting if she had any major doubts. But that meant there was only one more thing to do before heading back out, the proximity of the impending confrontation making my nerves spike and sending adrenaline humming all the way to my fingertips. Be-shirting myself helped, but under Etherea's curious watch it also sent me quickly through the highs and lows of self-consciousness.

Determined to get through this as quickly as possible drove me out the door. A last look over my shoulder confirmed that I wasn't crazy, and that there truly was a tall brunette with bizarre blue highlighting still standing in my room. Her nervous frown became a tentative grin when she caught me looking.

At least her balance looked good.

The walk back to the living area was almost exactly a reverse of my previous journey. Again, as I approached the same point just inside the hall from the living area, my heart made its growing disapproval known. I focused my determination and pressed on as the occasional soft snippets of conversation grew more audible.

Oh, shit! Craig might have already told Cassie about Etherea! We had a way out of this but he could have already thrown that out the window because he just didn't know! Fuck!

I stopped to listen but except for a single clipped response from Craig the 'conversation' was all Cassie. That she didn't sound particularly excited was a good sign. Unfortunately, worry over what she already knew made me go back over the past few minutes and the floodgate burst, releasing a wave of other things I'd forgotten in the moment.

Things like Etherea not being from this world! She knew absolutely nothing about the ordinary, everyday things that your average human would. Even the easiest of questions - ones that no human would have to actually think about - had no good answer. Who was she? Friends? Family? Where was she from? Why was she here? What did she do? My stomach attempted to retreat into itself as a thousand more vied for attention.

Because here we were, just waltzing into this situation when we couldn't afford Cassie being too suspicious. In that moment I felt so helpless that I nearly stepped into the bathroom to hide.

Again I steeled myself because, fuck it: I was fucked or I wasn't. Trying to avoid it still wouldn't change whichever it was.

Craig was hunched over the island in much the same position, his shoulders slumped and fingers nervously tapped out an aimless rhythm on the edge of his mug. Cassie had finished eating and was leaning forward to poke Craig's shoulder, the other hand resting with her cup on the island. If she leaned much further I'd be able to tell whether she had panties on.

After last night I really hoped she did. It had taken Craig so much scrubbing after the last girl who hadn't.

Two pairs of eyes - only one somewhat alert - locked onto me almost as soon as I was in view, each asking for its own explanation.

"She'll be out shortly."

Cassie tried to hide her grin in her mug. I mentally crowed as a crushing weight released - Craig hadn't told her a thing!

"Dude?" The one word had so much weight behind it.

"It's... It's alright." I just shook my head when his eyebrows dropped low and his brow furrowed. There was no way to explain; he'd just have to see.

"Mm too drunk fr this."

"Yeah, me too." That made my roommate blink.

Cassie snorted. "Did you even drink last night?"

The end table got pushed aside so I could stand with a knee against the side of the island. It was awkward, and it put Cassie a bit closer on my left than I liked, but I figured Etherea would need the remaining stool.

"Nope. Still too drunk for this." It was stupid, a bit too confrontational, and I wasn't even sure why I'd opened my mouth again.

"Well, she's still here so it can't be that bad." At any other time I might have appreciated Cassie's consideration, but she had bitten hook, line, and sinker onto a different yet still very unwanted assumption about Etherea.

"I..." And what the hell could I say? Y'know what, I'm just going to shut up.

Uncomfortable near-silence settled over us that just made the waiting worse. Craig attempted to engage me in some visual telepathy - at least that's what I think it was - which went absolutely nowhere. I shook my head to dissuade him from anything more. Thank God he got the message. Cassie got the hint that neither of us felt much like talking and entertained herself by twisting the top of her stool back and forth with her butt. If I probably would have felt worse about brushing her off if I'd been less anxious.

Even though I kept the hall entry at the edge of my sight Cassie noticed Etherea first, bringing herself up short with eyes focused intently across the living area. Etherea led around the wall with a hand, each step carefully measured as her eyes - if only we could have done something about that unnatural violet! - latched onto each of us in turn. She paused to take in Cassie, chin lowering and her hair shifting around to partially obscure her face. Which only highlighted the shifting mix of colors.

Cassie gasped and I jumped, my throat tightening. Craig didn't fare any better, bouncing on his seat and looking over at Cassie. When he followed her eyes across the room he jerked like he'd been struck by lightning and did his best to pitch over backward. Seats squeaked and dishes clacked as Cassie and I both desperately lashed out. Somehow we each captured an arm, holding Craig steady while staring at each other in shock.

"Jesus, Craig! What's gotten into you?" Cassie's narrowed eyes stabbed at Craig's barely contained ones. After a short stare down she went back to Etherea, apparently satisfied that he was stable yet not letting go of the arm she'd claimed, and put on a slightly strained smile. "Sorry. So, um, that hair. Yeah. That's like really cool. How'd you do it?"

I expected something like this since I hadn't been able to warn him, but I still wished I could fade into the background out of embarrassment. And hell, I watched as his brain's reboot process stalled. Please, oh please, let the rest of this go more smoothly!

Etherea had stopped, standing uncomfortably just inside the living area with her fingers still touching the wall. Except for the briefest glance toward me her attention was on Cassie. Her free hand came up to touch a loose strand of hair and her mouth parted minutely. It seemed she too was at a loss for words.

"Oh... Ummm... I was trying... for a color and did not quite get it."

"Can I see?"

Etherea's eyes jumped between Cassie and I again. "Ummm..."

But Cassie had already left her seat, passing behind a gaping, paralyzed Craig. "Wow! It changes as you move!" She moved her head this way and that as she came close, eyes eagerly soaking in every detail.

I could tell the instant that she finally, truly looked at Etherea because she suddenly sucked in a breath as her eyes widened. "You, um... You'll, uh, have to show me what you were doing. I mean it's, um, really cool. And, um," her eyes finally pulled away from Etherea's forehead, "your contacts too. I love them! You're really going for the exotic look, huh?"

That earned me back-to-back looks - Cassie's short and appraising, Etherea's longer and begging for answers.

"She's talking about how you changed your eye color," I offered, hoping that was the last of Cassie's reaction to Etherea's scab.

The disguised princess took a half step backward, her free hand lifting again before she hesitated and sent it back down. "Yes, I suppose they... are rather different. But I like them."

"Uh huh. That's a really pretty color. I bet you get a lot of attention."

She finally noticed Etherea's stance, her gasp making Etherea jump. "Oh, sorry! I'm Cassie. And don't worry, I won't bite."

Damnit! I realized just then that we hadn't even taken any time to figure out what Etherea's name should be! My mind went into overdrive, trying to come up with something innocuous to call her.

Etherea started to relax as Cassie backed off, but all of her unease came back stronger as Cassie's hand shot out. I groaned inwardly as the offered appendage came under Etherea's intense scrutiny. She twitched after a short delay, bringing her hand own up, but it was still far too long in my books. What I would have given to be able to pause this and give her a quick coaching because she moved her hand and all five fingers as a single unit, which was a weird way to approach a handshake. But she caught on quickly and following Cassie's example, wrapping her fingers around the shorter girl's hand.

"Aetherisalmernya. It is nice, um, to meet you Cassie."

Or Etherea could just use her real name. Or the archaic one, I guess it was. It made sense once I actually thought about it. It was just a word so there was no harm in Cassie knowing it. It's not like there was something inherently pony about it.

Cassie cocked a brow, scrunched her nose, and passed an almost disbelieving look around. Even to Craig, whose head was down again. He kept slipping looks toward the former alicorn though.

"Eth... Ether... Ummm..."

Now I had to do something because Etherea didn't know human names. "We just call her..." The randomizer in my head rolled a die. "...Ethel."

My eye roll was involuntary. That was the best I could do? I guess it shared something with her name, but still, that made her sound so... old. Not that there was a damned thing I could do about it now.

Etherea... Ethel's chin lifted and she put on a faint smile. "Yes, I go by Ethel. It is a... little easier." At least she didn't have too much trouble acting casual. "Do you mind if we sit?" Her eyes again passed over Craig and me, eyes showing just a hair too much white. "It was a long... night and I... I'm not fully awake yet."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Cassie passed around a rueful grin. "You know how we girls get," she said, seemingly to everyone. But she did leave for her own stool which gave Etherea some breathing room.

Etherea still waited a second before taking another step. Adrenaline flared as I anticipated her simply falling on her face. Yet the former pony carefully - and safely - picked her way across the carpet, the fingers of one hand still trailing lightly along the wall. It was probably the adrenaline again but every moment felt too long and I couldn't help foolishly wanting her to hurry up. It got even worse when her bare feet touched the faux stone linoleum of the kitchen and she looked down with interest.

No, don't stop there!

Her head popped up like she'd actually heard my mental cry and she quickly took the last step up to the vacant stool, her sheepish grin wavering. The stool was a whole other issue. Another baby step placed her to one side as her eyes played back and forth over the seat. A hand on the counter kept her steadied and the other held the stool still as she inched between the two. When her butt was in position she gingerly lifted the necessary inch, using the hand behind her as a guide.

When her butt touched down she grimaced, shifting her hips subtly.

It had been painful to watch. Nobody should ever need that kind of effort just to sit. I looked to see Cassie's reaction before I could stop myself, finding her eyebrow - and about three metal studs - rising as she grinned and mouthed something at me.

Yeah, I don't read lips. Her smile only grew.

"So, you're not from around here, huh?" Cassie's chin lifted as she focused on the girl to my right.

"Oh." Etherea's cheeks grew a little more pink. "Is it that obvious?"

That got another pointedly-raised eyebrow. "Well, yeah. Your name sounds Spanish or something." Had she ever actually listened to any of the local Hispanics speak? "I'm not one to judge, but you don't really look it. So, Italian? That's another place that does the face-kissy thing instead of shaking hands, right? Your English is really good though. Where are you from?"

FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK! Okay, at least Italian is as good a lie as any. We could roll with that.

"An, ummm... A place by the name of Canderilon. I doubt you've heard... of it."

Or she could go with something Equestrian. Actually, that might be a good idea; just like with Etherea's name, Cassie wouldn't know anything other than they were foreign words. I bet Etherea wasn't even lying.

"Nope. The name's really pretty though. What's it like?"

"Ummmmm..." Etherea's eyes went to the fridge behind Cassie for a moment. "The city itself is set above a valley on the edge of some mountains. It is about sah..." She blinked, her head popping a bit higher, which made everyone else - or at least me - blink as well. "It is quite high off the valley floor. I am not sure how the measurements compare."

Huh. How did Equestrian measurements compare? I added the question to the top of my 'ask later' pile.

"It is... much cooler at home. Not only is the city elevated, but it is also more northern. I am so thankful that you..." She slouched faintly as words failed her. Which brought another grimace and hip shift. "I am not used to the heat here."

"It's not even that bad either," interjected Cassie. "Just wait until it hits like a hundred and feels like a hundred and twenty. At least the beaches here are good if you wanna' cool off. Have you been yet?"

"Beaches?" Etherea's eyes sought mine.

Had I not pointed out how close we were to the coast?

Cassie was still faster. "Oh, that's right! If you live up in the mountains you probably don't have any. We've got some really nice ones, not that-"

"We have beaches." All eyes went back to Etherea whose chin had come up defiantly. "There are a number of... um, springs that feed the streams that flow... through the city. There is also... the Shurnener river that comes out of the mountains. One of Canderilon's most beautiful... features are the waterways that run through and... around the different districts. Each public garden, park, or plaza... has some manner of flowing water. Since Canderilon is on the side of a mountain it was... built with many levels, and there are special... terraces around each waterfall. At the base of each is... a park and there are beaches for enjoying the ponds." She straightened further as her smile came back, violet eyes dancing as she watched Cassie's growing interest. "And below the city, at the base of the mountain, all of the falls empty... in a ring around Enweni Tosur Lake... which has larger, even more popular beaches."

"Oh, that sounds gorgeous." Etherea had just begun to nod. "And cold. All that mountain water? You really need to try the beaches here."

Etherea grimaced. "Oh, no. We..." She blinked, her mouth forming a little O. "Umm, the water is not as cold as you think. But salt water? Ugh! You know what that would do to my...? Um... It would..." She descended into silent, frustrated blushing.

"Oh... I suppose that salt does kinda' mess with your hair. But it's not that bad. Just needs a good wash afterwards."

Etherea's lips parted, her eyes inching around as she searched for something. Eventually she just closed her mouth and chewed on the inside of her lip. The silence dragged itself along as I tried to think of something to add to the conversation.

Then Craig's head popped up.

"Dude! How can you just sit there?!" He threw his hands toward me.

It was a long moment before he noticed our surprised stares and wilted under the combined weight of them. "Uhhh, I, uhhhh..."

He tried running a hand through his hair but only managed to jostle his cap. Etherea kept drawing his attention simply by existing but there was still no way I could explain.

"Well, ummm, I guess I... Yeeeaaaaahhh..." With a flurry of motion he knocked his stool back and got to his feet. "I'm gonna' go do, um, something." And with that he was gone into the depths of the apartment.

Then, as if us watching him leave wasn't awkward enough, we all looked at each other.

"Well, that happened." Cassie frowned one last time toward the empty hall. But it shifted into a goofy little grin for the rest of us.

"Yes, it certainly did."

I had to stop myself from mirroring Cassie's incredulous expression. I was not going to do that to Etherea. She only sounded so damned innocent because she likely didn't know Cassie's statement had been rhetorical. But since Cassie had largely ended that conversation before it started, and it would be rude to call Etherea on it, I didn't know what to do next. At this point I just wanted to get away to think.

Then something clicked into place. There was something I could do that might help - something I should probably be doing anyways. It would leave Etherea with Cassie though.

Although I wouldn't be far. Plus, she'd been doing alright.

I caught those violet eyes and gave what I hoped was a reassuring grin. "I'll get you some breakfast."

"Oh, yes. Thank you."

I passed around Cassie, who was giving me a strangely blank look, and tried not to look at the pert little butt jutting out over the other side of her stool. It was a shame that she liked poking holes in herself and then shoving metal things in them.

Actually, Craig having been up in her just a few hours ago was the bigger turn off. Also, Etherea was right there and I didn't want her to catch me looking at Cassie. Which, when I thought about it, was a really strange sentiment. If she was unavailable then why did I care?

Because I still kind of wanted to impress her in spite of my rational self, that's why. I stopped myself halfway into shaking my head. I had to think about Etherea's breakfast, not what-ifs and impossibilities.

Cereal, toast, and bagels would be easy enough. I looked back at Etherea, seeing her hands on the island top, one covering the other like it was holding the other down. It just might be, given the way her fingers were slowly exploring the tiles. No, no silverware for her yet, so cereal was out.

She'd gone for a bagel the other day, right?

The fixings came out as I waited on the perfect toasting. Which left me to my thoughts. I needed to help her in her conversation with Cassie. No specifics came to mind because it was pointless without knowing what questions Etherea might have trouble with. To find that out I'd have to just pay attention.

I turned and leaned backwards against the counter.

"...the way over here, then? I'm surprised you left."

"Actually, so was I." I bit back a laugh at Etherea's loaded reply. If only Cassie knew. "It has been quite a lot of fun to... simply travel and see the sights. You may not see it, because you live... here and it is all normal to you, but I have been enjoying simply looking... at everything. It is all subtly different."

Cassie cocked her head, her left hand coming up to idly twist a stray lock of hair. "Different? Like how?"

"Um, it is a bit hard to tap down, but literally everything is... ummmm, a little different. Po... People seem to do everything faster, like every... one is in a hurry. There are more vehicles," I confined myself to a faint smile, "your buildings are, umm, built with... a different aesthetic," that got a confused blink from Cassie, "your people - and I do not mean to offend - just do not seem to be as gregarious... Ummm..."

She fidgeted with her hips again. "At the same... time there is so much interaction. Stores, restaurants, buildings, parks, and even these apartments are... full of your people just doing things. I am probably not going to see even half of what... I would like while I am here because there is so much."

"You don't get out much, do you, if us Americans going about our...?"

Metal slid along metal beside me, ending in a solid click. I listened with half an ear while pondering what to put on the piping hot bagel halves. The first day we'd had pancakes. Then bagels were on the second... I think. But with what?

A glance back at the tall, slender woman on the other side of the island made me throw out the idea of butter. She just seemed like someone who wasn't much for fatty things. It was probably a dumb way to decide, but my gut had spoken. Honey and strawberry jam were chosen much the same way - honey as a 'higher-class' condiment and the jam because, well, I thought she might be a strawberry kind of person. Pony. Pony-person.

"...you and Alex meet?"

The glass of water I was filling nearly got pitched against the tiled wall behind the sink, my body locking in place while I confirmed that the only casualties were my hands and the water dripping off of them. At the same time my thoughts raced off in a completely different direction, taking my heart along at breakneck speed. How Etherea had met me was a rich minefield. I had to get back in there even if I wasn't sure I wanted to. But to do what, exactly?

After quickly drying my hands and refilling the glass I found my resident disguised pony sitting rigidly like her back was pressed against the wall a few feet behind her. Her expression matched that sentiment as her lower lip found a place between her teeth.

"It's a bit of a funny story," I said, trying to rescue her from having to lie. "We ran into each other while I was joking around with Craig - mouthing off, really. She overheard, misunderstood, and took offense." True enough, though I didn't like Etherea's lack of expression. "We, um, got to talking and that was that."

I worked my way back around and set Etherea's place, the addition of food near her hands distracting her and earning me an easy smile.

"Thank you, Alex."

Cassie's eyes lingered on Etherea's plate as I stole Craig's old seat. And inherited his mostly empty coffee.

"That's it?"

"Well, okay, there's, uhhhh, there is some more in there but it's not much more than, umm, finding out she had no place to go."

"It is the... truth of the situation."

Etherea's brilliant violet eyes met Cassie's levelly before she homed in on her bagel. My fear that she'd forget and grab her food with magic was quashed as she painstakingly placed the fingers of both hands around the edge of one bagel half. Only a couple tremors ran through them as they lifted but it was enough and she shifted the bagel onto one palm, guiding it with her other hand.

"Really? Are you sure?" Cassie leaning forward with a faint grin, almost letting me see right down her shirt. She had to know this!

I resolutely kept my eyes up, a chill washing down from the nape of my neck. "Yeah. We haven't known each other that long, um..." I needed something more. Think, Alex, think! "And she needed a place to stay, um, while she got situated." Damnit! Now I was repeating myself.

"Uh huh." The slow nod confirmed that she wasn't buying it.

Unfortunately Etherea was stuck halfway through carefully biting into her bagel so I was on my own.

"Well, that's not what I see. You're on the couch and-"

"What are you actually after?" I snapped, recoiling immediately. Okay, okay, I needed to calm down. But the desire to just kick her out was so...

"Okay, look," Cassie settled back - which helped - her tone acquiring a faint guardedness, "I believe you but there's gotta' be more going on here. You two are acting like the world is ending. I've seen people do this kind of thing before and I just thought maybe I could help. I dunno.' And see, it can't be that bad, she's still wearing your clothes and all." Etherea froze as Cassie's hand wave encompassed her.

"So, honestly - as a girl who knows - the best thing you can do is just kiss her already and say you're sorry for whatever it was."

WHAT?! That was a horrible idea!

Oh no, oh no, oh no...

I turned my head. Etherea was locked in place as though staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. She twitched when she noticed my attention, and then, as though I might actually do what Cassie had said, inched her chin the other way.

It was upsettingly painful. Did she really think so little of me?!

Then the laughter started - powerful, uncontrolled cackles - and my eyes tried to pull themselves from their sockets as Craig made himself known from just outside the hall. I could feel my lips peeling back and my fingers straining against themselves in an effort to manifest claws as I struggled to regain control.

This was stupid! Couldn't I see how close I was to just chucking the mug at him?! That could hurt him really badly, maybe break the mug, and would definitely scare the shit out of everyone!

Etherea's hand came to rest just below my elbow, the fear in her eyes helping me shut down the worst of it. But it still left an unruly ache.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" That was Cassie. "This is serious here!"

Craig stopped for a second and I thought maybe, just maybe, he might listen. But then another shock of laughter nearly doubled him over.

"It's... You- Ahhh, hahahahaha! It's not- Hahaha! You don't... ahh, hehehe!" He haphazardly stumbled toward us.

"It's not funny!"

"You... You just told-," he choked out before succumbing again.

Cassie looked about to snarl another retort, one that would likely just set off Craig again, when Etherea's other hand intruded in front of me.

"Cassie. Wait. And please, listen. I know how this must look but things really are... not as they seem." The hand shifted slightly and drew my eyes away. "I am wearing his clothes simply because I have none of my own."

I nodded quickly, latching onto Etherea's soothing logic. "Ether... Ethel doesn't have any clothes..." Why? "Because all her stuff is lost." And that means? "And without her stuff she can't get a hotel or anything." Which leads to... "So she needed a place to stay." Now for something to chew on. "I'm out here because she's got the bed and I've only known her for like four days." Okay, not quite as strong as I'd like. "We're still waiting to hear back from the airlines right now. It's not..."

I waved a hand helplessly. "...that."

For a second there was silence. Minus a lone giggle that I steadfastly ignored. In that moment I was distracted by a gentle increase in the pressure of Etherea's hand on my arm. She was trying to be reassuring, I guess.

"Oh," Cassie blushed and her eyes flitted between me and something just left of me. "Sorry."

"It is alright. This has not been an easy time."

I silently thanked Etherea for being so steady as Cassie's hand drifted toward her chest. She paused halfway there, her mouth opening and closing once, and then slipped off her stool away from me. "I'll, um, just see myself out. 'Kay? And, um, sorry again."

As she passed Craig her fist jabbed under his ribs hard enough to evoke a strained grunt. She hissed something about him being an ass while I relished the sweet, sweet justice...

Oh God, I now was enjoying my roommate's pain.

Then the hand on my arm disappeared as Etherea eased off her stool to intercept Cassie. Her touch had actually been comforting and calming and, after feeling so frighteningly close to losing control, I was almost colder for its absence. And that only reinforced the need to have a moment to myself. So I retreated around the other side of the island as Etherea and Cassie traded hushed apologies, the shorter of the two adamant about leaving to avoid any further embarrassment. Of course doing so put me in Craig's path as he hobbled in the direction of the fridge.

I brushed by without so much as an eye twitch in acknowledgement.

What the hell was wrong with me? Getting so angry so fast wasn't normal. It wasn't... well, me. And it scared the shit out of me. If I'd actually done something I could have really hurt someone!

The couch happily softened my backwards flop as the door cut off the clack of Cassie's boots. Out of the corner of my eye I could make out Etherea turning and taking a cautious step toward the living area.

"Alex? Are you alright?"

I blinked. Crap. "Yeah, I'll be fine." She paused and gave me an unbreaking look of concern. "No, really. Ummm... You just go finish eating before it gets too cold, alright? I'll just be right here."

A short and silent mental contest ensued, which I naturally lost when I grew too uncomfortable and looked away. I knew how that must have seemed - that I was lashing out by ignoring her - but she had already turned away. Well, fuck. If I had wanted to alleviate the situation then I was doing a damned good job of the exact opposite.

Etherea's worried over-the-shoulder glance accented that thought. Perfect.

But I needed this moment alone. A moment to think and to calm down. And to try figuring out what the hell had happened to me. Angry was fine, sure, but so much so quickly?

It was distressingly similar to when I was at work the other day. I must just have not noticed the stress as keenly. But it was clearly all still weighing on me even if I wasn't actively thinking about it. Making first contact, not knowing for sure what to do, hiding Etherea, Etherea almost being discovered...

Quiet moments like this were helpful, and it was nice that things had calmed down some, but I guess I was still far from okay. Then when what Cassie had said hit right on the money and Craig following up on it... Taking a personal strike like that was the fastest way through my defenses even without all the added stress.

When I checked again Etherea was back to sitting beside her food. She and Craig were talking, their heads close and voices indistinct, though he seemed to be paying as much attention to his new glass of water as to her.

Good, now the pretty alien princess was conspiring...

No. She wasn't like that.

A heavy sigh escaped me. And she really was pretty as a human. Which meant that staring at the boring wall behind the TV was preferable. That other path lead to some dark thoughts I didn't want to deal with right now. I just needed calm. And a way out of all this so I could stop freaking out.

It must have been only a few minutes - time I spent happily with an empty mind - before slow, heavy footfalls approached. I didn't even need to look; it was Craig.

"Hey, man." Him cautiously quiet? That was new.

The urge to throw something flared again and was forcibly doused. I was not doing that.

"Yo." It was a bit more icy than I'd intended.

"Look, I, uhhhh... I, um, guess I'm sorry and stuff."

Suuuuure... Oh, don't think I missed you glancing in Etherea's direction. Or that she wasn't really hiding that she was watching. She had definitely put him up to this.

That's when his hand came up and I noticed the glass - one of the tall, thick "college-proof" tumblers I'd bought so long ago - filled with a medium amber liquid. No froth so it had to be iced tea. I pushed sideways, centering myself on the couch before accepting it, and Craig took the spot on my left.

"She says," he began with a low, furtive tone and a glance toward the disguised pony, "that you're really, um, something-something about your personal life and feelings, and stuff, and that's what's pissing you off." Perfect. Etherea had bought into a completely different lie than Cassie. "I know you, dude, and yeah, you're kinda' like that, I get it, but not like that bad. But, ummmmm... I'm sorry? And, uhh, what's goin' on?"

"I was about to fly completely off the handle. What more is there to say?" Lots? Craig seemed willing to go with it even as I decided to be more honest. I'm stupid that way. "Even if yesterday was pretty nice..." I paused to consider what I'd just said, but shrugged it off as alright. "I guess I'm not as cool as I thought. I don't know... Just something about the way Cassie was thinking and then you laughing at me just set me off. I'm stressed the... I'm stressed out, apparently still right on the edge, and now I'm over here 'cause I really don't want to be that way. I mean, I probably scared the shit out of Cassie..." Crap! I mean...

Etherea had already pushed her plate away, her mouth taking on a sour twist. Sorry princess!

"Doesn't help that she's kinda' hot, huh?"

I flinched. Goddamnit, Craig! Right to the fucking heart of it. I took a moment to check that my drink was okay, allowing myself time to think.

Etherea had definitely heard though, her head popping up as her back went rigid. She quickly relaxed somewhat, blinking away the wideness in her eyes, and faced us. She was still a little pink as she conspicuously covered her lap with both hands.

I looked away again and resigned myself to my fate. "Uhhh, yeah, sure. She, um, kinda' is."

"I was talking about her pony body."

Another shot of adrenaline was just what I needed. I used its own fury to stamp it back down. I was not going to take a swing at anybody. Even Craig.

Still, he cringed as two withering glares tried to carve him an unpleasant path through the couch and the wall behind. "Sorry! Sorry. Yeah, that was bad. I, uhhhh, I didn't really think about it."

"No duh."

He grumbled under his breath. "I'm surprised you haven't punched me yet. Dunno' how you're doing it, man, but I'm freaking out over here."

"You're freaking out?" I turned to him incredulously.

"Uhhh, yeah. We've got like a real space alien living with us and the feds could show up any moment or something." Thanks for reminding me! "That's some major sss... um, stuff there. I know I tease you and all, but I now can't seem to stop and it's 'cause this whole thing with the princess and the feds just keeps... keeps... I dunno' what the word is." I wasn't sure either. "I can't let any of my friends know about the princess, or my family, or... or nobody! And then there's Cassie just up and walking in here!"

"I thought we were dead, man." He threw a hand toward Etherea over the arm of the couch. "But then you pull this out of your ass somehow and I... I don't know, dude! I don't!"

"Yeah, you can thank Etherea for saving our butts. But you sleeping with the one girl who knows us? That was fucking dumb." My words had more bite than my tone.

"I know, but she does this thing when she's on top of you, like she knows just where your tip is, and then kinda, um..." He twirled a finger around while pointing down.

I knew I'd hear about last night at some point. And now I was blushing - in part because who else was here to witness this. She was watching too, frowning and blushing faintly, though seemingly alright. She really wasn't as innocent as I expected a pony to be.

"Yeah, well, fuck you too."

The brought him up short and for a moment he floundered for something to say. "I know, I know. I just keeping bugging and bugging you. Like I want to, but I can't seem to stop and it's cause I'm freaking out. And it's scary 'cause I've never seen you swing at anyone but I keep thinking you're going to. I mean, you seriously hadn't noticed?"

"No, it's..." I waved my free hand aimlessly as I reassessed. "Sort of but not really? I've noticed 'cause you've kind of been doing it to me," he shifted uncomfortably, "but I guess I haven't been paying attention because I've been concentrating on other things."

He took a drink and I followed suit because it seemed a good time for it.

"Like getting us out of this?"

I nodded, going back to staring straight ahead.

"Well, since the prin... Ummmm..." His free hand reached up behind toward his head and out of my sight. "So, what if I promise to not pick on you so much and you promise not to hit me, kay? We'll call it even."

I couldn't bring myself to do any more than a non-committal shrug.

"We cool?"

It didn't work like that - you couldn't just 'yes' or 'no' a problem away - so it was a struggle to not roll my eyes. The problem was that I still had steam to blow. But violence? Yeah, not an option. Especially not in front of Etherea.

"I, uhhh, I guess..." I settled a little deeper into the couch. I'd just have to tough it out until it all faded away.

"Cool."

"But I'm holding you to your end."

His response was a slow, deep breath, a languid groan, and a nod.

On the other side of the room, once I thought to look, Etherea watched us unabashed from her stool. With that eyebrow crawling up her forehead it was clear that she was struggling to figure us out. If she was expecting an expressive, ashamed, and gratuitous apology from my roommate then she was in for a frustrating wait. What she had witnessed was a bit unusual but still very much Craig.

"So, um, you wanna' watch anything?"

Also uniquely Craig: already being over it. I grunted and shrugged, at the moment still not quite sure what I really wanted. Just sitting and letting myself be calm sounded good.

Before long - thanks to the idiot box I wasn't sure just how long - Etherea finished with her food and painstakingly wandered over. She stopped just to the side, arms partway spread for balance.

"So, you two have made up, then?"

"Yup."

"Yeah, sure."

Her scoff was dainty but her eye roll involved her whole head. "Stallions."

Craig shifted beside me. "You should join us. Ummmm... Par, um, whatsit in some good, old American Sunday TV. I'd show you a game but football's out for three months."

I realized what was about to happen but it was already too late. With the only open spot next to me all I could do was flee like an idiot or make sure she had room. It wasn't a hard decision.

And for a moment, while she was checking her balance and her aim, her butt was kind of right beside me. It was just too weird though because those were my jeans! Then, when I averted my eyes, I found Craig watching. He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at me. As Etherea landed with a bounce and a squeak all I could do was a short, exasperated head shake.

Speaking of... That had been an interesting little noise. Etherea was just finishing getting her hips into a more comfortable position while wearing a look of the utmost concentration. She finished by gingerly leaning back until she met the couch. Only then did she relax, breathing contentedly as she beamed back at us.

Then her smile twitched and she readjusted her butt.

"So, what is it we are watching this time?"

Craig got to it first because I had to double-check. "The A-Team.

No wonder I'd been able to tune it out so easily.

"What is it about?" She asked after a moment.

"Um, it's about some ex-military guys who go around fighting bad guys," I said just as she shifted her hips yet again. "It's kind of, um, old nowadays. The fighting is over the top but nobody ever manages to get hurt. It's..." I quickly dismissed going into how violent TV had become since the 80's. It hadn't been that long since she'd freaked out over much more innocent things. "Well, it's, um, kind of a comedy because it's so blatantly fake. Kinda' like that cartoon of Nightmare Moon I showed you; it's not very factual."

"Oh, I see. I will not take it... too seriously then."

It was impossible to not smile at how resolute she sounded.

For a while B.A. and the gang did their thing, chasing down and beating up evildoers. The problem was that I couldn't stay insensate. After all, someone had to narrate for her. Plus now I was sitting next to a human who wasn't actually one, which, by itself, kept my curiosity going full-tilt. Her explanation into how that worked had answered barely any questions.

And however it worked, she had done really well at making herself attractive. I could practically feel my crush deepening.

I wasn't the only one distracted either; Craig also glanced over at her once or twice. Her looks aside, we still hadn't explained to him what she'd done.

And then there was Etherea herself, whose fingers slowly traversed the area, seeking out and touching everything within reach that wasn't me. Jeans, shirt, skin, hair, couch, and even the wall came under her gentle assault. She truly tried to pay attention but her tactile adventures handily won out.

She kept bodily shifting as well. Something was definitely bothersome because she alternated between sitting forward or back, parting or closing her knees. And each time she'd change the position of her hips.

Of course she eventually caught me looking.

"You alright?" Good cover, Alex.

I thought about blushing as she wiggled her hips again, but her own put mine to shame.

She spoke with a frown. "No. Your, um, clothes are not very comfortable."

The cushions tried to push me closer to Craig as she stood. Her motion was a bit too sudden and she was only saved from pitching forward by slapping a hand to the wall.

"Huh?" Craig chimed in.

Etherea's blush deepened, but she still lifted her chin and tossed her hair back. "I did not achieve a... complete human form because I was using incomplete references, so I am sure it is simply... because they are still not designed with... my anatomy in mind."

I needed a moment to wade through her loquaciousness. Craig's approach was more direct.

"What?"

"My body is not completely human." I was caught between her glare and his continued confusion. Unfortunately the truth of her predicament was more than a little awkward.

"Uhhhhh... What?"

I had to butt in before she could go all Samuel L. Jackson on Craig's sorry ass. I just wasn't fast enough.

"Look, Craig, can we leave this to fall? It is uncomfortable enough for me... already, and it would probably bother Alex greatly."

Craig shrugged, "sure."

Alright, the misconception that I was squeamish about anything 'personal', while somewhat true, needed to end. "It's, um, it's not that bad Etherea. You don't have to coddle me either."

She widened her stance a little and faced us fully, her frown coming back. I was fighting the wrong battle here, wasn't I?

"Even so, can we simply leave it? I will be fine."

Yup, wrong fight. "Sure."

Craig snickered.

Her point made and conceded, Etherea ambled carefully out of our way in search of new tactile experiences. Seriously, she zeroed right in on the fridge and it's numerous magnetic decorations. I might have been watching the TV - halfheartedly to be sure - but I was smiling because of how she tested her fingers by fiddling with all the little doodads and various notes.

And I did eventually get some quality vegetating in. All of a couple minutes.

"Would the two of you mind if I went outside?"

Author's Note

I know many people will be alarmed by the major change in this chapter, but I assure you that I have a very specific plan and that this will not be playing a major role in my story. You came for pony and I intend to give you pony. You will have to trust me. Though I will say that this half of the chapter was absolutely necessary to set up the next half. (Or at least I feel it was.)

And as to the next half, I know everyone's been anticipating it.

first version of Etherea sitting down on couch - it simply went too far afield It's very slightly spoiler-y

That squeak had been more discomforted than anything...

She was bent forward with shoulders up and head forward, hands between her thighs. Her expression was an uncomfortable wide-eyed grimace like she'd sat on something completely wrong. Which brought me back to her lap and the hands between her legs.

Did she still have some part of her tail, or something, stuffed into those jeans? It hadn't looked-

"You alright, princess?"

She took up a deep frown while carefully extracting her hands. "Etherea, if you please. And yes, I will be fine." My curiosity - and Craig's I'm sure - only grew when she lifted herself up with a hand on the cushion and the other on the armrest, and then rolled her hips back and forth before settling in again.

When she continued it was somewhat more brightly. "I suppose we might want to work on using... What was it? 'Ethel?'"

"Yeah, okay, Ethel. What was all that about?"

I shot Craig a quick challenging look but he only twitched and mouthed 'what' back. On my other side Etherea was blushing again, head tilted so her color-shifting hair was falling partially in front of her face. One violet eye met mine through a gap.

"Your, um, clothes are not very comfortable. Though that..." Her blush deepened, but in spite of it she lifted her chin, tossing her hair back. "I did not achieve a complete human form because I was using incomplete references, so I am sure it is simply because they are still not designed for me."

I needed a moment to wade through her loquaciousness. Craig's approach was more direct.

"What?"

"My body is still not completely human." I was caught between her glare and his continued confusion. Unfortunately the truth of her predicament, and the reason she was in it was more than a little awkward.

"Uhhhhh... What?"

Before she could go all Samuel L. Jackson on him I butted in, "you were using that magazine and my drawings right?" She nodded guardedly. My skin was already heating up. "So, you're like, ummmm... still pony down there aren't you?" God, I sounded like some bashful teenager. But I also could not possibly say 'you've still got a horse vagina 'cause I didn't draw a human pussy for you.'

She didn't get any more red, but her motion strained against itself when she nodded again.

"What, you're not wearing any underwear?"

Somehow Craig asked his question plainly. He also wasn't laughing, jeering, or making any kind of suggestive expression. Not that I didn't appreciate it, but it was really eerie.

"Underwear?"

"Yeah, pantie... Oh." Now came the snigger. "You'd the choice of Alex's tighty whities or nothing. Yeah," he nodded as his trademark grin manifest, "I'd've done the same too."

"Under garments? Oh! Ummmm, no, I am not. I, um, had not realized that there... was more."

I felt like I was going to pop, sitting here in the middle of this. Etherea was about the color of a tomato behind her hair and Craig looked a hair's breadth from losing it and shaming her even further. Again, I was between them

"Okay, okay!" It was a bit too strident, but it did the trick and got me a bit more focused. "The question is, will you be, ummm, okay?"