Dreamquestria

by TheBBofC

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Main 6
Length: 112904

How do you tell the difference between a dream and reality? What do you do when they're the same?

Stephen finds himself as a pony in Ponyville at night while he sleeps. Convinced he's dreaming, he tries to deduce why he's having these dreams. While doing so, he's invited by the Mane 6 to join them in investigating the disappearances of ancient artifacts from museums around Equestria. Stephen must learn how to use his talents to overcome fear and exhaustion while juggling his 9-to-5 job during the day and seemingly sleepless nights under the guides of our favorite ponies.

Cover Image Sources:
http://episkopi.deviantart.com
http://sierraex.deviantart.com/

Published 2012-10-17 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-22 16:34:32 UTC

Paperclip Projectile

Barely awake, Stephen got to his feet to start his morning routine. He shook his head once in an attempt to wake himself up. It only worked a little bit but he’d have to accept what he could get. On his way to the bathroom, he was struck by curiosity. Did he forget to close his window last night? He tried to reach through his window but the glass stopped his palm from going outside. Stephen remembered the cold breezes getting him up to find himself in the forest. If his window was closed the whole time, how did he feel so cold? Perhaps his subconscious’ imagination was much stronger than he originally thought.

Stephen would have to return to this pondering later. The day was calling and there wasn’t much time to be wasted. With a heavy head, eyelids and feet, Stephen staggered into his shower. Sometime between washing his face and hair, Stephen blinked. When his eyes opened, he had reclined against the wall and felt like he’d spent too much time in a jacuzzi. Fearing the worst, he finished up quick. His head, eyelids and feet were still the heaviest parts of his body when he made his way out to check the time. Showering was normally a five-minute ordeal. Today he had been in there for almost thirty minutes.

Half of his time to prepare for the day was gone and he had barely started. How was he going to have time to shave, dress, eat, prepare a lunch, make his bed and clean his kitchen before he’d have to leave? The answer was simple; he wasn’t going to be able to do it all. Under these circumstances alone, he would have trouble getting to work on time. But on top of all that, his car was almost out of gas. He didn’t know if he’d have enough time to stop for fuel on the way there. If he skipped fueling up, he might not have enough fuel to get to work in the first place.

All things considered, hygiene would have to come first. Stephen’s face was getting itchy and thin patches of facial hair didn’t look right on him. Stephen tried to move as fast as he could but was interfered with by a persistent feeling of sleeplessness. Between the sleepiness and rushing, he cut himself shaving. This was not shaping up to be a good morning. But all he had time to do was clot it with some wet bath tissue and hope nobody would notice the scrape.

Stephen grabbed his toothbrush and a travel-sized toothpaste from his bathroom counter before getting dressed. With as much haste as he could muster, he threw on a black button-down shirt, pants and socks. He shoved the dental supplies into his right pocket just before rushing down the steps. The next step was to skip tidying his bedroom and kitchen and get something to eat – fast.

“Clock is ticking, Stephen!” Stephen talked to himself as he pealed through his living room and into his kitchen.

Humanitarian aid came to Stephen’s cluttered mind and tired body in the form of Selena’s soft-yet-chipper voice. “Whoa! Hold your horses!” Stephen looked up to see a gorgeous, shapely woman in his kitchen. Her big, brown eyes matched her complexion. Smooth, charcoal colored hair ran from her head all the way down to the middle of her back and over her shoulders. She was spreading some jelly over pieces of buttered toast.

'Hold your horses,' she says. Stephen chuckled to himself. “I’d rather not. I’m running late. Is that for me?” Stephen pointed to the toast.

“Yeah, I was going to surprise you with one of my special egg sandwiches but it looks like I got started too late.”

“The toast is good enough for now.” Stephen grabbed the plate as he pecked Selena on the cheek. Breakfast was no longer a concern now and that was all that mattered. He looked to his right. The coffee pot on his counter top was half full. There was hope for this morning yet. “You are an amazing woman!” Stephen proclaimed as he rushed for a mug.

“Why are you running so late?” Selena asked.

Stephen poured himself some coffee. “I’m having trouble waking up this morning. Then I dozed off in the shower.”

“Poor baby. Didn’t you sleep last night?”

“I’m pretty sure I did. But I had the weirdest dream.”

“What happened?”

“I was a talking horse and I was being chased by wolves. Then this yellow horse with wings bangs a bunch of pots together to make noise and drives them off. Then she introduces herself as Fluttershy and we start talking about animals.” Selena’s right eye was bugging out. The left eye had squinted. Her pupils got small and her head was cocked back. Stephen laughed, “I made the same face when I woke up this morning. It’s strange, isn’t it?”

“I think you need a vacation. Those idiot customers you deal with all day are finally getting into your head.”

“Soon, Selena. Very soon.” Stephen sipped the coffee and looked up at a clock. “Shoot!” He shouted. He grabbed the plate of toast, kissed Selena again and ran for the door. “You can hang out here if you want. I’ll be back around six. Love you!” Stephen slammed the door behind him.

Stephen ate his breakfast while speeding to work. He didn’t normally like driving fast in the first place. With the added factor of holding breakfast in one hand, he didn’t feel any safer.

Stephen ended up coasting into the gas station on fumes. The office building where he worked was next door. But the possibility of stopping and not being able to start again was too prevalent. He put three gallons in the tank and zipped next door to the office building where he worked. With a deep breath and a sprint, he got inside and clocked in just before the clock struck 9:01. Stephen breathed a sigh of victory. Coming this close to being late had never been an issue for Stephen before. He didn’t know if there were consequences for clocking in late, but it was not something he wanted to risk. Now that he was clocked in, he could relax, brush his teeth in the restroom and return to his cubicle for work.

Stephen worked customer service for a construction-contracting agency. It was endless hours on the phone in a cubicle. On the other side of his phone were a variety of people. These people ranged from enraged customers to clueless customers to enraged clueless customers to lawyers to any combination of the aforementioned. Stephen would also have to fill out various forms while on the phone. These were usually customer complaints but sometimes varied to billing and taking notes for certain jobs. Dealing with all of this was taxing enough on a good day. Today, was particularly bad as Stephen had about half of his usual energy.

Every now and then, the extremely rare polite and educated customer would appear, providing a breath of fresh air to Stephen. There was only one of these today. This particular gentleman was on the road, heading home and trying to make a note for the workers he was expecting to remodel his bathroom today. He wanted to make sure they had enough of the right type of tile. The type of tile the customer wanted checked out easily. But neither of them was certain of the amount needed.

“I want to make this very clear,” said the customer. “You guys do a great job but I do not want to have to pay for a second day of work. So it’s really important you get everything you need there on the first try.”

“I’ll do my best, sir,” said Stephen. “How many square feet is the bathroom?”

There was a pause over the phone. “Shoot! I don’t remember. I can tell you the room itself is eight-by-sixteen feet.”

“Is the eight feet the width or the length?” Stephen asked.

“The width,” the customer replied.

“One moment please,” Stephen grabbed a pen and a pad of sticky notes. These customers didn’t come often. But they came often enough for Stephen to challenge himself by trying to do the equations in his head or see how fast he could do them on paper. He drew a rectangle and labeled the width ‘8’ and the length ‘16’. It might have been due to his exhaustion but it took him longer than usual to work out the equation in his head. After completing the equation, he added twenty square feet to the order for safety. “I’ve got it taken care of, sir. I’ll make sure they have everything they need.”

“Thanks, buddy, I’m counting on you.”

“Have a nice day, sir.” Stephen hung up the phone and was greeted by the smooth yet somehow nails-on-a-chalkboard voice that was his co-worker, Damien.

“Get it taken care of?” asked Damien.

Stephen glanced up at him. He’s known this guy for as long as he could remember and he was always a jerk to him. Stephen never knew what his motivations were or how he kept appearing in his life. He just knew that if Damien was on fire, Stephen had no reason to so much as relieve himself to put it out. Today he was simply too tired to put up with his nonsense. “It wasn’t anything too difficult.”

A malicious smirk came over Damien's face. “That’s a good thing then. You look a little red in the eyes today. Glaucoma prescription, I assume?” The smug in his voice jumped an entire level when he made that assumption.

“I’m fine. Just had a rough night.” Stephen needed something, anything to keep him from making eye contact with Damien. After a moment's search, he began spinning his ruler around his desk with a finger.

“I’m sure you did.” Damien's smile got even bigger. Stephen knew this look. He only got it when he was looking for something to antagonize him with. “You know, Stephen. Employee reviews are coming up soon. Keep your head level. We don’t want a repeat of last year.” Stephen abruptly stopped spinning the ruler, leaving its first inch hanging over the edge of the desk.

Was Damien referring to last year when several anonymous reports came in a month before the review claiming Stephen to be rude and using profanity over the phone? The same incident that took a two-week investigation to conclude that the complaints were phoned-in (so to speak) while those responsible remained unknown? The incident wasn’t brought up in his reviews last year. But they did mention that they wouldn’t be allowed to consider the incident because nothing was ever proven either way. Stephen could tell that it was on their minds the whole time and an unofficial probation delayed his annual raise by two months.

Stephen picked up a paper clip and fiddled it around his fingers before dropping it down near the twelve-inch mark on the ruler. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Damien laughed at Stephen’s bluff and started trailing off on another subject.

Stephen stopped paying attention. His eyes wandered over to the edge of the cubicle’s opening adjacent to where Damien was standing. A spot on the wall’s corner caught Stephen’s eye.

Stephen, who was now leaning on his right hand, sat up straight to address Damien. “Look, Damien, don’t you have somewhere you need to be?” Stephen asked. Not leaning on his hand anymore, he allowed it to drop. It smacked the edge of the ruler that was hanging over the edge of his desk. The paper clip was launched through the air, banked off the edge of the cubicle’s opening and straight up into Damien’s right eye. Stunned, Damien slapped himself in the face and almost fell back. “Oh shoot!” Stephen acted as sincere as he could. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. Are you alright?” He tried to look at Damien’s eye. The eye and the area around it was already turning red. Some of that was probably from Damien slapping himself in the face. But Stephen only caught a glance of it before Damien shoved him back into his chair. Damien stormed off. Stephen was free for now. But this freedom only lasted a moment before his desk’s phone rang again.

The hours continued to drag but eventually it was ten minutes to five. His shift was almost over and the calls actually started to slow down. Stephen had just started to relax when Kramer, his boss, appeared at his cubicle’s opening. He was very large and round with pasty skin, an egg-shaped face and two chins. Thin white hair barely managed to cover his scalp. He always wore an expensive tailor-made suit.

“Stephen, how are you?” he spoke in a slow monotone.

“I’m holding up. How are you?”

Kramer skipped right to the chase. “Can we talk before you clock out?”

“Sure, right behind you,” said Stephen. Kramer hardly ever appeared unless there was an assignment he needed to give or an issue he needed to address. This wasn’t likely going to end well. Once Kramer had his back turned, it took an audible grunt to summon the energy to put Stephen on his feet.

Stephen arrived at Kramer’s office and took a take a seat across from his boss. Kramer’s office was perfectly tidy with a large oak desk and a computer. Spread out on the desk was a calendar with notes marked on various dates. On the left wall was a whiteboard with a red-ink to-do list scribbled on it. Most of the items had been crossed off.

Kramer looked Stephen dead in the eyes. “Did you launch a paper clip into Damien’s eye earlier today?” his voice remained monotone despite the stern look on his face.

Stephen recoiled at the question but regained his composure. “What? No!” That was a lie. “Well, yes,” There was the truth. “Not intentionally anyway,” that was a half-truth. “It was an accident. I accidentally slapped a ruler that accidentally had a paper clip sitting on it and then the paper clip accidentally bounced off my cubicle and into his eye.”

Kramer dropped his head and rubbed his eyes. “It’s almost time for us to go home so I’m only going to say this;” If he only had one thing to say that meant that this would be over relatively soon. Kramer’s drone made long conversations and lectures very difficult. Kramer traced his desk’s calendar with a finger, eventually landing next Friday. “Your reviews are coming up and you need to look better than you did last year. So let’s not have a reason to put ‘trouble working with others’ in your notes. Is that clear?”

Stephen was practically frozen in place. “I hear what you’re saying,” he said.

“Good. Now go ahead and clock out. We’ll see you bright-eyed and fresh in the morning. Damien pointed out that you were feeling tired today. We don’t want that to drag your performance down either.”

That dirty snake. Stephen thought behind closed eyes and a fake smile. “Sounds good,” was all he said before leaving.

An Interesting Night

It was almost six o’clock when Stephen walked into his empty house. Selena arrived shortly after with bags of Chinese take-out in hand. Stephen was very grateful she was there so he could tell her about his day and get it off his chest. She had quite the to-do list herself that day and told Stephen all about it in return. They chatted over the dinner for an hour or so before deciding to take a walk around their block. These walks, though usually quiet, were mutually relaxing. They arrived home around nine o’clock and decided to watch a movie in Stephen’s room. Stephen fell asleep halfway through while cuddled up next to Selena, who followed shortly after.

Stephen blinked a couple of times and realized he wasn’t in his room. In fact, this place looked an awful lot like Fluttershy’s cottage. “Lovely, this again.”

“Now, Angel Bunny, you really should go to bed. It’s getting late.” Fluttershy’s voice came from upstairs. Stephen looked up and saw a small rabbit hop down the steps with Fluttershy in a slow gallop behind.

“Need any help?” Stephen asked. He watched as all at once, the startled fear attacked Fluttershy’s nervous system. It started with her mane sticking straight up and her wings popping open. Her eyes widened immensely as she flipped over onto her back, legs sticking straight into the air and squeaking like a goat. Stephen should have known better to call out to someone so timid like that. Although he felt bad for scaring her, he couldn’t help but find her reaction funny. Suppressing a chuckle, he made his way to the stairs.

Walking like this still felt awkward. He hadn’t walked like this since he was in preschool and pretending to be a tiger with his friends. Even further, he didn’t understand how while being conscious of his dreaming, he couldn’t wish himself able to walk bipedal. “I’m sorry about that. Are you okay?” Stephen asked as he struggled his way up the stairs. The little rabbit had met him halfway with a disgruntled expression and attempted to avenge Fluttershy by stamping on Stephen’s hooves. Stephen ignored it and looked back at Fluttershy.

From the way she stared at the ceiling, Stephen was worried he’d petrified her. After a moment, her irises came back to normal size and her brow relaxed. “Oh, it’s you, Stephen. I’m sorry. You startled me.”

“I should be apologizing,” said Stephen as Fluttershy got to her feet and folded her wings down. Unsure what to say, Stephen and Fluttershy stared at each other for a moment. Fluttershy lowered her head to her left. Her eyes shifted back and forth from Stephen’s eyes to the ground. Perhaps a joke could get her to share her to open up? “So…how’s the weather?”

“Oh…it’s fine. But if you don’t mind my asking…how did you get in my house? I thought you left this morning.”

“I guess I did leave this morning. But you know as well as I do why I’m having the same dream twice.”

“But how can I be here if it’s a dream?” Fluttershy asked before opening her wings and gliding to the bottom floor. A little nervous, Stephen tried to reverse his stepping and go back down the stairs. The unfamiliarity of being on four legs made this a challenging task that required focus and patience. “I think we should talk to my friend, Twilight. She might know what’s happening. That is…if you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all,” Stephen said. He kept his eyes on the bottom of the stairs and shook as he struggled to maintain his balance. “Just as soon as I figure out how to walk. Lead the way.” Fluttershy waited patiently for him to arrive at the bottom of the steps. When Stephen finally landed the last step, he shook some sweat off his face. Without a word, Fluttershy pushed the door open and Stephen followed her out.

He followed Fluttershy over a bridge where a narrow stream ran across her yard and continued for a few minutes into the town. The town was small and seemed to be completely asleep. The whole time they walked, Fluttershy never said a word. But in the moonlight, Stephen could see the alert deer-in-the-headlights expression in her eyes.

When they reached a clearing in the town square, the moonlight cast down on Fluttershy’s hindquarters and Stephen noticed three butterfly shapes on the side of her thigh. “That’s a nice tattoo on your leg,” Stephen complimented in an attempt to make conversation. Fluttershy cringed and lowered her head. Perhaps Stephen shouldn’t have been looking? Or was this just a normal reaction to any kind of attention from strangers?

“Oh…I’m glad you like it…It’s my cutie mark,” she said.

“What’s a cutie mark?” Stephen asked, picking up his pace just enough to be even with Fluttershy.

“Every pony gets one when they realize their special talent.”

“What’s your special talent?”

“My cutie mark resembles being able to communicate with animals. What’s yours?”

Stephen turned his head and tried to look at his hind legs. “Either there’s not enough moonlight to see it or I don’t have one.”

Concern raised in Fluttershy’s voice. “You don’t know what your special talent is?”

Stephen thought about it for a moment. “I guess I just never thought of myself as having a special talent. I do customer service for goodness’ sake. How much talent could that require?” Stephen decided he didn’t like talking about this. “How close are we?”

“Oh…actually…we’re here.” Fluttershy pointed up at the largest tree Stephen had ever seen. It appeared to have been hollowed out. The door, the light-emitting windows around the trunk and a balcony near the top gave the tree a very homely feel. “It looks like Twilight is still awake. That’s good. I’d hate to wake her up.” Fluttershy walked up to the door and knocked.

Stephen let out a large yawn. “Alrighty then, sounds good.”

The door opened revealing a purple pony with a horn on the top of its head. It looked a lot like Fluttershy so Stephen assumed it was a girl. How the heck was Stephen’s subconscious thinking this stuff up? Then the pony spoke. “Fluttershy, how are you doing?” The purple pony’s pleasant voice was a breath of fresh air from Fluttershy’s barely audible tones.

“Hello, Twilight. Are you busy?” Fluttershy asked.

“Not at all. Rainbow Dash and I are just doing a little evening reading together. What’s up?”

Fluttershy stepped to the side and glanced over at Stephen. “This is Stephen. He’s the pony from last night I told you about. He might need your help…that is…if you’re not busy.”

“It’s not a problem at all.” The purple pony approached Stephen from the tree. She reached out her front hoof. Stephen maintained his balance as he put his hoof to hers and they shook. “Hello, Stephen. My name is Twilight Sparkle. How can I help?”

“Not sure. Just tell me what’s going on here?” Stephen asked with a shrug in his voice.

“Here,” said Twilight. “Why don’t you two come in and we can talk about it.” Stephen followed Twilight and Fluttershy into the tree. The tree was even bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. The whole thing had been hollowed out into a nearly three-story living space and library. The sight was amazing.

“Twilight, you’ve got to get over here and check out this part! It’s so awesome!” a voice pulled Stephen’s attention to the corner of the library. A blue pony reclined on a beanbag chair with wings unfurled and a long, unkempt, technicolor tail hanging to the floor. She pulled her face up from deep within the book supported by her front legs. Curious magenta eyes looked directly at Stephen. “Hey, who’s this guy?” she asked.

“Rainbow Dash, this is Stephen,” said Twilight.

“Is this the pony that Fluttershy told us ran out of the Everfree forest and didn’t know where he was?” Rainbow asked.

“My reputation precedes me,” Stephen said with a dry tone.

“He kept asking me where he was,” said Fluttershy. “I told him my cottage, Ponyville and Equestria. But he didn’t know where any of that was or how he got in the forest.”

Rainbow took flight from her beanbag chair “Maybe he’s got one of those memory sucking brain leeches from Daring Do and the Bog of Nightmares.”

“I really doubt that,” said Twilight.

Rainbow glided across the library and stopped to hover right next to Stephen. He backed up to reclaim his personal space when Rainbow tried to look into his ear. “I say we check him!”

“Rainbow, you’re letting those books go to your head again,” said Twilight.

Stephen’s brain finally caught up to the situation. “Would it help if I told you I don’t remember any leeches crawling into my ears?” It wasn’t much of an input but it would have to do for now.

“Not if they’ve already sucked out your memory of it!” Rainbow flung the door open and pointed outside. “Come on, Twilight. You know how some of these stories are based on real legends. Either check him or we’ve got to get him to Ponyville Hospital.”

Twilight groaned and her horn started glowing. Stephen looked around and noticed he was being surrounded with the same glow. “What are you doing to me?” Stephen asked, looking at his hooves.

“This will only take a second,” Twilight said.

A second later, Stephen’s muscles and bones became visible through his skin. It was like looking at an X-ray photo of his entire body. Stephen was startled, to say the least. Suddenly becoming a full body X-ray photo might do that to most people. He stayed perfectly still lest something even more terrible than becoming transparent happen. But he couldn’t stop himself from shouting, “What’s going on? Someone help me!”

“See?” said Twilight. “Just as I told you. I don’t see any brain leeches.”

They were being too casual about the fact that Stephen looked like an anatomy model from college biology. Maybe there was nothing to worry about but Stephen was not about take that risk. Turning his head to the side, he found that it didn’t hurt to move. As far as he could tell, that meant it was safe to move. He turned tail to run but ended up making direct eye contact with two more ponies that happened to be passing by. Neither of them had wings or horns. One was bright pink and had an even pinker mane that curled in every direction. The other was orange with and had a thick blonde mane which was tied into a lazy ponytail and partially covered by a stetson. This one was wearing a saddlebag over her back.

Stephen stared at them for a moment. They stared at him for a moment. Stephen blinked but during the time that his eyes were closed, the pink one had shot across ten feet and right through all of Stephen's barriers of personal space. With giant blue eyes no more than six inches away from Stephen’s face, she giggled, “Ooh! I’ve never seen a skeleton pony before. Where did you come from Mr. Skeleton Pony?”

She suddenly slid back a couple feet, revealing the orange pony with a pink tail in her mouth. “Whoa there, sugarcube,” said the orange pony after dropping the tail. “I think it’s just one of Twilight’s spells.”

Stephen stopped glowing and his innards ceased to be visible. “Hey Pinkie Pie! Hey, Applejack!” Twilight called from behind Stephen. "What are you two up to?"

The orange pony spoke up. "I just got done helping Pinkie Pie around Sugarcube Corner again. We thought we'd stop by and see if you wanted any of the left overs but it looks like you're in the middle of something."

“Rainbow Dash thought Stephen here might have a memory sucking brain leech so I had to check him,” said Twilight.

“Oh, okay then!” said the pink pony before giggling again. “I should have known. A real skeleton pony would have been super-duper scary. You must be new in town. I’m Pinkie Pie! It looks like you already met my friends! What’s your name?”

“I’m Stephen and I’m not sure I can call this ‘meeting your friends’. I still don’t know what the heck is going on here!”

“I think we should just move this little get-together inside. Don’t you think, girls?” Twilight asked. Everyone nodded their heads and filed into the library. Stephen was the last one in. He could feel his face contorting with stress and confusion. This was going to be an interesting night.

Diagnostic Spells

Stephen found himself sitting in a room with five ponies, each a different color. With no idea what was going on or why he was dreaming this, he figured that the best strategy was the same one he used the night before. Might as well play along, right?

“Let’s start with introductions,” Stephen said. “I met Fluttershy last night,” Stephen pointed towards Fluttershy with his hoof. Then his point moved to the purple pony. “You introduced yourself as Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight nodded her head. “I’m pretty sure I heard them call you Rainbow Dash,” Stephen pointed at the blue pony. His point shifted to the pink pony. “You called yourself Pinkie Pie, right?” Pinkie nodded her head. Stephen looked over to the orange pony. “Did I catch your name yet?”

“Name’s Applejack!” the orange pony said with a tip of her hat. “Pleasure makin’ your acquaintance Mister…”

“My name is Stephen,”

“Howdy, Stephen. I reckon you’re new to town, right?”

“New to town among other things.”

“This morning, Fluttershy told me that you came out of the Everfree forest last night and didn’t know where you were,” said Twilight.

“When I went to sleep, I was in my bed. When I woke up, I was in a forest and getting chased by wolves. Fluttershy helped me escape. That’s when I realized I was a talking pony.”

“Wait a second," said Rainbow. "Are you saying you’re not a pony?”

“At least during the day, I’m not. Does the term ‘homo-sapien’ mean anything to anyone here?” All the ponies in the room shook their heads.

“That’s a funny name!” Pinkie giggled. “What does it mean?”

“In short it means I’m used to having two legs and hands,” said Stephen.

“So if you’re not a pony normally than how are you a pony now? That doesn’t make any sense,” said Pinkie.

“Believe me, I know it doesn’t,” said Stephen. “Fluttershy brought me here to see if we can figure that out.”

“So where do you call home?” Applejack asked.

“Just a small suburban town in America.”

“America, where’s that?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s probably nowhere you can get to from here. If this night and last night mean anything it’s that I’m only here in my dreams.” Everyone in the room exchanged a look of confusion.

“You’ve mentioned dreaming a couple times before,” said Fluttershy. “But we’re all real here.”

Twilight spoke up. “Fluttershy, didn’t you say that Stephen was gone from your cottage when you woke up this morning?”

“It’s true,” said Fluttershy. “I let him stay on my couch last night. I thought he left before I woke up. But then earlier tonight he was back again.”

Twilight had a puzzled look on her face as she stroked her chin. “I have an idea. Everypony follow me.” Stephen and the others rose from their seats and followed Twilight to the other side of the room. With a turn, she faced Stephen and her friends. “We’re looking for any guides on magic identification. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, can you two browse the high shelves?” Rainbow Dash saluted and hovered to the top shelves. Fluttershy gave a small nod before doing the same. “Everypony else, we’ll check the lower shelves.” The others split up to scan the shelves.

“Magic identification?” Stephen asked.

“It sounds like you’re not from Equestria at all, Stephen. So I’m going to see if travel between worlds is possible. If it’s not magic, I’ll have to look into the possibility of wormholes or rifts in space-time.” Twilight turned around to the shelf behind her. “Hopefully it’s magic. Then it’ll be easier for me to understand and fix if necessary.”

Stephen’s head was spinning from trying to find an ounce of logic in all of this. But since every attempt was failing, he simply needed to keep reminding himself to play along. So while Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew about the high shelves, Stephen and the four other ponies scanned the lower shelves. Any time one of them found something that might be relevant, they piled it in the library’s center.

Stephen finished reading over one shelf and moved over to another. On his way, one of his steps made the sound of crunching paper. Looking down, he saw a newspaper with the headline, Cloudsdale Museum Robbed and a subtitle Museum manager opens to find unconscious guards and the Stone of Sisyphus Missing. The thought that a civilization with movable type that still needed shelter in straw huts, tents and hollowed out trees was amusing. The article itself had an interesting headline as well. But there were more pressing matters at the moment.

After what seemed like an hour of searching, the group turned up five books. Everyone regrouped at the center of the library. Twilight’s horn started glowing. The same purple aura appeared around a book at the top of the stack before it opened and levitated up to Twilight’s eye level. “This book shows some spells that can reveal different types of spells by the way they react with each other.”

Stephen’s stomach sank and his heart jumped pace as if he were beginning to ascend the first giant drop on a roller coaster. Perhaps there was still time to get off this ride? “Back up a moment!” Stephen shouted. He tried to stand on his hind legs and take a guard. But he ended up falling over. He should have known better than to try that anyway. “Did you just say you needed to curse me to figure out how I’ve been cursed? Doesn’t that sound the least bit dangerous to you?”

“This is magic, not curses,” said Twilight.

“I fail to see the difference,” said Stephen.

Twilight ignored him while looking through her book. “A lot of these diagnostic spells are a little quirky but it shouldn’t be anything that will hurt you.” That information didn’t ease Stephen’s concern in the least bit. “If anything goes wrong I can always reverse it. Just be ready for anything.”

“No worries, we got your back,” said Rainbow.

Stephen got back to his feet. “I’m sure you’re looking out for me but the knowledge that something could go wrong in the first place isn’t exactly comforting.”

It was too late. Twilight’s horn was glowing. Stephen’s body started glowing again. Suddenly he felt heavier. He looked down on himself. His coat had grown as thick and curly as his mane. It was like having sheep wool all over his body. Then the worst and biggest itch he had ever experienced hit him everywhere and all at once. He collapsed back to the ground and tried desperately to scratch at his body, only to find that hooves were not suitable tools for this. “Ah! Help me! It itches! Get it off! Get it off!” Desperation possessed Stephen as he resorted to rolling on the floor to itch his back. Rainbow and Applejack burst into hilarious laughter.

“Me too! Me too!” Pinkie shouted and started rolling around the floor with him.

“I’m not joking, Pinkie! Help me!” Stephen squirmed.

Fluttershy tried to help him. However, she had trouble figuring out how to get close without the possibility of getting hit. “Um…Stephen…if you could just…stop squirming…I could…” Fluttershy spoke as she tried to lower herself over him. Stephen’s legs swung around as he flopped over to his other side, prompting Fluttershy to dodge back into the air.

“Well it’s not a long distance teleportation spell,” said Twilight before flipping a page in her book. “Otherwise your mane would have just gotten longer.” Her horn glowed again and she reversed the spell. All of the extra fur immediately fell off of Stephen’s body and the itching disappeared with it. Stephen lay panting and relieved on the floor. Pinkie Pie was giggling next to him. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were also on the floor, panting and recovering from split sides.

“Aww, are we done rolling?” Pinkie asked.

Twilight stopped flipping through her book. “Sleeping curses! Hold still, Stephen!”

“Wait! No more! I beg you!” Stephen got to his feet and tried to walk over to Twilight. Her horn lit up with purple light. The light surrounded Stephen’s body as he was walking towards her. Mid-stride he couldn’t feel his front legs anymore and fell forward, smashing his face on the floor. “Ow!” Stephen persisted, trying to rise onto all fours, but only succeeded in dragging his face along the floor.

“That looked like it hurt,” said Applejack as she made haste to Stephen's side. “Let’s try and get you up.” She lowered her head and pried it under Stephen’s neck. With neck strength alone, she propped Stephen back onto his front legs and held him up. “You alright there?”

“I’ll be fine if Twilight can make my front legs start working again!” Stephen was doing his best to stay calm but frustration was starting to leak through.

“It might be better if you stay still while she does this,” said Applejack. “You wouldn’t have fallen so hard if you weren’t moving.”

“I wouldn’t have fallen if she had told me that my front legs might go limp.”

Twilight spoke up. “The book just says that if it were a sleep deprivation spell, you would have started floating a few inches from the ground. It doesn’t say how the spells might react otherwise.”

Stephen watched Twilight’s horn light up and point at him. A moment later, he could feel his legs again. “So you’re telling me that you don’t know how these spells will react if it isn’t the right one?” That was the line. “Give me that book!” Stephen rushed Twilight and closed the remaining distance in no time. When all he had to do was reach out and grab her, she disappeared in a flash of purple light and Stephen slammed headlong into the bookcase behind her.

Applejack came over to help him up again. “Trust me when I say this, Stephen. It ain’t easy gettin’ a book away from Twilight.”

“We have to keep at this if we’re going to find out how you got here,” said Twilight.

“Plus, watching this is pretty funny,” said Rainbow.

“We probably shouldn’t be laughing at him,” Fluttershy protested from the lowest audible pitch.

“Didn’t you say you’d back me up, Rainbow?" Stephen asked. "How come you didn’t swoop down and grab the book from Twilight?”

“I said I’d help if you were going to get hurt. So far you’ve just been rolling around the floor a whole lot.”

“I know, right!” Pinkie chimed in. “That was fun.”

“Look, I’m sure you’re not trying to mess with me but at this point I don’t even want to know why I’m here anymore,” said Stephen.

“Twilight, perhaps we should take a break?” said Fluttershy.

“Okay, everypony,” said Twilight. “We’ll take a break after I try one more spell.” Twilight flipped through the pages and gave a disapproving look to nearly all of them but suddenly stopping near the back of the book. With her eyes narrowed and a hoof under her chin, she seemed to be taking in as much information from the page as possible.

“Can’t we just skip it and say that we did?” Stephen asked, his face still sore from being acquainted with the floor and the bookshelf. But his pleas fell on deaf ears as Twilight was already preparing the spell. Stephen began glowing. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the worst. But nothing happened, at least not that he could tell. Desperate to find what was wrong with him now, he looked all over his body. Did he grow another leg? Nope. Did his coat change color? Nope. Did he still have a tail? Yes. Everything checked out.

“Huh, nothing happened,” said Twilight with wide eyes and a raised eyebrow. “So whatever a ‘Spirit Traveller’ spell is, this isn’t it.”

“I’m just glad I can relax now,” Stephen sighed as he tried to sit down. The ground recoiled and he was launched up into the air. He flipped over and hit the ground back flat only to bounce back up even higher than when he sat. “What’s…going…on…here?!” he shouted in between bounces.

“Oh! I want to ride!” Pinkie cried out and jumped onto his back.

“Aha!” Twilight celebrated. “It says right here that this spell, when interacting with a spirit traveller spell, a pony will get a bounce in their step.”

“Make it stop!” Stephen shouted as he continued to gain momentum with Pinkie cheering with excitement on his back.

Twilight looked down on her book before glancing back at Pinkie and Stephen. Stephen was managing to stay upright with Pinkie on his back. But their bounces were getting higher. “Something isn’t right here. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, stop their bouncing!” Twilight shouted.

“I got’cha!” Rainbow flew over their heads and tackled Pinkie. From atop Pinkie, she pushed them down as hard as she could. “See? I told you I’d come to help if…” she was cut off by Stephen’s momentum overpowering her efforts and slamming her against the ceiling.

“Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!” Fluttershy squeaked as she tried to catch Stephen and Pinkie from bouncing back down. The momentum from the ceiling proved to be too much for her as well and Fluttershy found herself between Stephen and a cracked floorboard.

An earthquake struck the library. Spike shot up from his bed with a fright and went to warn Twilight. But when he looked up at her bed, she was no longer there. Where could she be at a time like this? Did something happen to her? The library continued to shake and Spike ran for the stairs.

“Twilight! Where are you? What’s making all that noise?” Spike shouted as he rushed down the stairs. But he stopped halfway when he saw the uncontrollable bouncing from the ceiling to the floor and his friends fighting a desperate battle to stop it. “Uh…nevermind…” said Spike as he turned around and returned to bed.

“Applejack, get him to stop hitting the ceiling!” Twilight commanded.

Applejack was already coming out of her saddlebag with a rope in her mouth. “One step ahead of ya, Twi’.” She threw the lasso up and wrapped it around Stephen’s stomach before yanking it back. The wind was pulled out of Stephen as the noose tightened around his belly and dragged him to the floor. It didn’t stop his bouncing back up. But with Applejack’s iron-jaw grip on the rope, he wasn’t going to hit the ceiling anymore. This was great for Rainbow Dash, who was now imbedded into the library’s ceiling. But for Stephen it was merely trading smashing into the ceiling for being choked back to the ground.

“Hang onto him Applejack. I can get a clear shot now.”

“Make it quick!” Applejack gritted through her teeth. She grunted, leaned and yanked back harder with each bounce. Stephen felt his momentum growing with each bounce and Applejack’s effort growing with each tug. He couldn’t imagine being able to take much more. A horse’s body might be stronger than a person’s but can still only take so much before breaking. But with a final glowing of her horn, Twilight shot Stephen with the spell reversal. Consequently, Stephen dropped five feet out of the air and landed on top of Fluttershy. The shaking dislodged Rainbow from her indent in the ceiling. She plopped down on top of Pinkie Pie.

A muffled “Ouch,” was barely heard from the bottom of the pony pile.

Rainbow took a moment to regain her senses. Once her eyes stopped spinning, she rolled off the pile and used all of her strength to shove Pinkie and Stephen to the side. While Rainbow made sure Fluttershy was alright, Applejack helped Pinkie Pie get to her feet.

“But I don’t want the ride to be over,” Pinkie mumbled with her eyes swirling about inside her head.

It would take a minute or two for everyone to regain their composure. Rainbow and Fluttershy were slightly battered. Twilight was exhausted from using too much magic at once. Pinkie was still delirious from hitting her head too many times. Applejack’s jaw was a little sore from the rope. Stephen could only be a lump on the floor while he caught his breath and tried to move.

That idea was scrapped as soon as he realized how painful it was. “Are we done yet?” Stephen squeaked from the floor.

Twilight caught her breath. “Yeah, we can stop there. Maybe you girls should head home and get some rest. I’ll stay here with Stephen and finish getting to the bottom of this.” Everyone heartily agreed with that decision and filed their way out the door.

Stephen watched Rainbow Dash shake off the pain, ruffle her feathers and crack her joints. “Wow, Stephen. First you get chased out of the Everfree forest and now this. You must have a talent for attracting bad luck,” Rainbow chuckled.

Stephen remembered what Fluttershy had told him about cutie marks representing talent. Stephen pointed to his own flank and said, “I don’t see a picture of spilled salt or a broken mirror. So if I have a talent, that’s not it.”

“Having bad luck wouldn’t be a good talent anyway. Have a good night!” Rainbow Dash waved to Stephen and flapped her way out the door.

The mention of talents reminded Stephen of what Fluttershy told him. A pony gets a cutie mark when they discover their special talent. Out of curiosity, Stephen looked around at all the other ponies. Each of them had one of these marks, which meant each of them must have some sort of specialty. Fluttershy had already told him hers represented a harmony with animals. Of the rest of the group, the only ones Stephen could guess at were Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Three apples forming a triangle appeared on Applejack’s rear end. Between this and her name, Stephen could only assume she worked a lot with apples. Rainbow had a cloud with a tri-colored lightning bolt. Perhaps it was something to do with speed? Pinkie had the same pattern with what looked to be balloons. Twilight had a very large twelve-pointed star surrounded by five smaller six-pointed stars. Stephen would never even be able to guess what that meant.

Though he didn’t know what they all meant, it forced him to reflect on himself for a moment. If those marks represented a special talent, why didn’t he have one? Did he not know what his special talent was? Or did he not have one in the first place? If he did have a special talent, was it putting up with customers’ nonsense over a phone? But what would that even look like?

Stephen’s attention was snapped back to the present when everyone said goodbye to Twilight and him in roll. Twilight waved to them and closed the door. Then she turned around and looked at Stephen. “Alright, let’s see what we can do.”

Twilight trotted out of the room, giving Stephen another chance to relax and recover. She reappeared a few minutes later with a teacup and straw hovering next to her head in a purple glow. The teacup floated over and touched down in front of Stephen’s face. The straw dropped into the cup a moment later. “Thank you,” said Stephen. His body protested him trying to sit up and drink it. While he fought the aches, he noticed Twilight had returned to scanning the shelves. “Aren’t we done?” he asked.

“We know what the spell might be,” Twilight retorted. “But something is still off. The book said you would ‘get a bounce in your step’. I thought that meant a little bouncing like the way Pinkie Pie skips everywhere. Or maybe even gradually gaining momentum. But you dented the ceiling after a few bounces. Something isn’t right here.”

“You’re telling me,” Stephen reached out for the tea in front of him. Moving was still a painful experience. But once he got his lips around the straw and took a sip, it was worth the effort. First came the slight burst of energy from the warmth of the drink. A taste of raspberries and honey helped Stephen’s mind relax just long enough to have a clear thought break through his body’s aching. “Exaggerated reaction might mean stronger magic.”

Twilight’s face lit up like the Griswold’s Christmas display. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! But what could be causing that?” Stephen turned to his brain for another bright idea. But even after another sip of the tea, the well had run dry. Twilight went back to scanning the shelves and their contents. Stephen watched her for a while as she pulled books from the shelf. She would examine them for a moment before putting them back. “I’ve never heard of ‘Spirit Traveller’ spells before. They were mentioned really far back in the magic identification manual. So I can assume it’s a rare spell.”

Stephen took another sip. “I see,” was all he could think to say.

“Owliscious!” Twilight called out. Stephen looked up. A brown owl swooped down from upstairs and perched on Twilight’s back. “Can you help me find some books on advanced teleportation magic?” The owl cooed in response. “Thank you,” Twilight nodded her approval at the owl. With that, the owl flapped its wings and flew up to the top bookshelf on the left side of the room. He latched onto the edge with his talons and walked across the shelves and stared at the books with the same level of focus and determination as Twilight did to the shelves below.

Rather than try to make sense of what he just witnessed, Stephen opted for staying down and watching them work for a little while. He didn’t normally allow himself to relax while his hostess worked. Perhaps tonight could be an exception? But even in his dreams and after being battered, the manners that his mother had drilled into him forced Stephen to call out; “Be sure to let me know if you need help with anything.” Stephen would much rather stay down but he could feel better about himself now that he’d offered to help.

Twilight acknowledged the offer but continued to work with her owl. Together, they found three different books in a matter of minutes. Stephen watched Twilight sit across the room and examine their contents, flipping a page every couple of minutes.

Curse these very real seeming dreams of his. As far as Stephen’s mind was concerned, he didn’t sleep at all the previous night, the day before and was awake the whole time tonight. The brain being active that long can trick someone into thinking they’ve been awake the whole time. It might just have to be a condition that Stephen will have to become accustomed to.

Stephen continued to watch them work while he finished his drink. The pony and owl pressed on diligently long after Stephen finished his drink. Their resolve this late into the night was astounding but watching was getting boring. Maybe he could take a nap while he waited? Stephen found some comfort in figuring out a relaxing position on the floor. But he still couldn’t get himself to fall asleep on the hardwood floor. Stephen wished he still had access to Fluttershy’s comfortable couch. Falling asleep while dreaming was a silly thought in itself anyway.

A loud crash and a shaken floor brought Stephen’s focus back to Twilight. The surprise sent him to his feet to make eye contact. He had to grit his teeth when the bruises on his neck, back and legs protested the sudden movement.

Twilight’s horn glowed and the book levitated from the ground. She faced the cover towards Stephen and read the title aloud; “Starswirl the Bearded’s Advanced Teleportation Magic, page 167.” Twilight’s magic flipped the book open and turned the pages until she was near the end of the book. “It says it was conceptualized by a unicorn who lived far away from his true love. It was a way for his spirit to leave his body and visit her, or to pull her spirit from her body to visit him.”

Stephen rubbed his eyes to keep them open. “So someone brought me here?”

Twilight continued to scan the book. “It’s not that simple. It says the spell can only reach up to one thousand miles. You say you’re from another world entirely. Plus this spell looks extremely difficult and requires a lot of strength just as it is. So how could this spell reach you?”

Stephen was so dumbfounded he could feel it on his face. “You’re asking the wrong guy,” was all he could think to say.

Twilight read over the pages several more times. “That’s not the only question that remains. The book says the spell can only work if the target is willing to make the journey.”

“Which I would not say is the case for me,” said Stephen.

“Also the spell is only supposed to bring the target’s spirit from their body. How are you here with a full body?” Twilight poked him in the chest. Stephen wasn’t sure why she’d need to double-check after peering onto his internal organs just a couple hours ago. But there wasn’t any time to address that concern. “The book says there were higher levels of the spell written but they were impossible for any pony to perform. Why doesn’t it say what the higher levels were supposed to do?” Twilight examined the book’s back cover. “Shoot!” she cried out. “This is the abridged and annotated version!”

Stephen couldn’t stay upright any longer and slumped to the floor. In the middle of a big yawn, he asked, “Does the original version exist?”

Twilight let out a similar yawn. “It’s probably in the Canterlot library. I can order it here to take a look.” She stopped yawning. With glassy, half-open eyes, she peered over Stephen.

Stephen looked behind him to see what she was looking at. Outside the window, dawn was not quite breaking but he could tell the sky was getting less dark. “You should probably get some sleep,” said Stephen.

“You’re probably right.” She turned her head to the owl. “Owlicious, can you put the books back for me?” The owl cooed and began flying around the room. Stephen was still amazed at the idea of an assistant librarian owl. “Will you be alright down here?” Twilight asked.

“I’ll be awake in a little while anyway,” Stephen chuckled. Twilight did not look like she knew what that meant. Stephen shook his head in apology. He kept forgetting that his dream characters thought they were real. But since he had never remembered a dream before these last couple nights, he could only assume that was normal.

Twilight turned around and slowly made her way to the stairs. When she got halfway up, she looked down at Stephen. “Just let me know if you need anything.” Stephen nodded in response. Then he vanished. Twilight stood bewildered on the staircase. All physical and mental exhaustion she had was gone in an instant and replaced with an entirely new level of confusion. There wasn’t a warning, a sound, a flash of light or anything left at all. Stephen had literally vanished into thin air before her eyes. In a fraction of a second, a million possibilities listed out in her mind. In the following fraction of a second, her mind stopped working entirely. Then her eyelids and head became like lead weights. This battle with logic had been lost. Though the war on lack of knowledge was far from over, it was most sensible to retreat and try again later. “I’ll have plenty of time to figure that out after I get some sleep,” Twilight rambled to herself as she carried her heavy head up the stairs and into bed.

Twilight's Wager

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Stephen’s eyes shot open and informed him that he was in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Selena was lying on top of him, right where she had fallen asleep last night.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The alarm was like a cheese grater on Stephen’s cheddar morning nerves. Stephen reached to turn it off but every muscle involved violently protested. “Ouch!” Stephen squeaked and recoiled. Where did that come from? Nevermind, he knew exactly where that came from but that thought was shoved from his mind for its sheer level of absurdity.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Once the pain faded, Stephen took a deep breath to prepare for a second attempt. However, even breathing revealed itself to be a chore. With a grunt, Stephen bared the pain and made a second attempt at his alarm clock.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Stephen fumbled with the buttons on the clock until he got a fingernail wrapped around the switch. Summoning nearly all of his strength, he pulled the switch into the ‘off’ position. Heavenly silence graced his ears now that the siren was off.

A stirring on Stephen’s chest brought his attention down to Selena. She was always especially gorgeous in the morning. “Good morning,” she said in the midst of a big stretch stretch. Stephen found himself speechless between his tired mind and her adorableness. So he kissed her forehead and tried to get up.

All systems checked out when Stephen’s feet touched the floor. But when he tried to take a step for the bathroom, the world went out of focus and he discovered the blood in his head had been replaced with helium. He stumbled forward and caught himself on his dresser. Stephen hadn’t felt like this since that time he lost a bet and had to run a mile without stopping. He didn’t know how to deal with it then and he didn’t know how to deal with it now. His body defaulted to taking deep, aching breaths and trying to get a hold of himself. Selena shot out of bed and went over to him. Her arms wrapped around Stephen's ribs and held him upright. The hug felt like Stephen had become a python's prey.

Stephen bore the pain and smiled at his girlfriend. He knew she was already worried and he didn’t want to add to that by showing he was in pain. But why did Selena’s normally comforting embrace suddenly hurt so badly?

“Are you alright?” she asked.

Ultimately Stephen wasn’t sure if he was being honest or not when he said, “I’ll be fine.” After straightening his posture and taking another deep breath, his bedroom started coming back into focus. “I guess I just didn’t sleep well again.” Stephen noticed stiff muscles in his neck. While trying to shake out the tension, several loud pops rang out from his neck. Each pop felt like a knife through his joints.

“Ew!” Selena shuddered and backed away from Stephen. “When did you start cracking your joints, Stephen? That’s so gross.”

Stephen turned around to face her. “That’s as new to me as it is to you, babe. Maybe the next time I won’t fall asleep with my neck cranked up against the headboard.” Stephen chuckled and ran another mental system check over his body. His head had returned to its normal morning heaviness and brought his balance with it. “All I need is a hot shower and I'll be back to my usual self. Head downstairs and wait for me, okay?”

"Are you sure you're alright? I've never seen you have that much trouble getting out of bed before."

"I'll be fine, Selena."

Selena placed her hands on Stephen's biceps. Holding him steady, her eyes examined his body from top to bottom. “Okay, Stephen," she still sounded uncertain. "Just don’t fall over in the shower. I don’t want to have to pick you back up.” Selena kissed his cheek and skipped off.

With each step, joints everywhere in Stephen’s body popped and ached. When he got to his bathroom, he reached for the bottom of his shirt. He might chicken out if he gave this too much thought. So he yanked off his shirt as fast as he could. “Ouch! Gosh darn it!” Stephen yelped as his muscles and joints sharply disagreed with being used so fast. But the real shock came from what appeared in the mirror.

At first they were tough to see, as they blended well with his ebony complexion. But once he spotted one large, brown and purple splotch of bruising on his body, he was able to spot several more. “Holy crow,” Stephen talked to himself. He turned around and cocked his head back towards the mirror. They were all over his back as well. “How the heck did those get there?”

Stephen raised his shower’s temperature and water pressure. Standing under the hot waterfall helped his muscles relax and alleviated some of the pain. The persistent feeling of sleeplessness coupled with the hot water massage made it difficult to stay awake in the shower. But he would not allow himself to fall asleep again. “I know I slept. It’s all in my mind,” Stephen said to himself a couple of times. He shook off the exhaustion and prepared himself for the day.

As Stephen made his way down stairs, he was dredding the notion of making breakfast for himself. He was simply too tired and too sore to put forth the effort. But when he got into the kitchen, he found that Selena had his favorite breakfast ready for him – an egg sandwich with hot sauce. Words could not express how grateful he was to have her around. Even better was that Stephen did not have to rush himself this morning. So once Selena fixed a sandwich for herself, they could sit and enjoy breakfast together.

“Did you have that dream again?” Selena asked with a full mouth.

“Not quite. Same setting but this time there was a purple horse performing magic on me. It caused me to bounce all over the place and wrecked her house, which was a giant hollowed out tree. It was actually kind of cool looking.”

“Do you at least feel rested this time?”

Stephen didn’t want Selena to worry. He kept his eyes down and took a large swig of coffee. “I'm alright.”

“You’re not a good liar,” said Selena. “Maybe you should take a sick day and rest up.”

“I can’t do that. We’ve got employee reviews coming up in a couple of weeks. I can’t have any blemishes after what happened last year.”

“What happened last year?” Selena asked.

Stephen swigged his coffee again. “You don’t remember Damien faking all those customer complaints against me?”

“Oh I remember that.” Selena finished her sandwich. “You’re still convinced it was Damien?”

“I can’t think of anyone else who would have made those calls. Plus that guy has pulled some kind of stupid prank trying to get me in trouble every year for as long as I can remember. Just yesterday he told the boss I threw a paper clip into his eye among other things.”

Selena raised an eyebrow. “Did you throw a paperclip into his eye?”

Stephen looked away and sipped his coffee again. “It was more like a bank shot. It wasn’t on purpose.” Stephen looked up at the clock. “I have to get going. What are you up to today?”

“I’ve got errands then I’m working a night shift. So try to get home early so we can hang out before I go.”

“I’ll try,” Stephen said. After pouring himself another cup of coffee, he gave Selena another kiss and went out the door.

Work was slightly better today than yesterday. Not as many calls were coming in. As a customer service representative, this meant not having to deal with as much nonsense. However, today it just meant that Stephen had nothing to distract him from the exhaustion. Thus, staying awake took even more effort.

His first strategy was to drink a lot of coffee. Between the caffeine and many restroom breaks that coffee brought, staying awake would be slightly easier. But even that wasn’t the miracle pill he was looking for. Stephen had to keep his mind occupied with something in between calls. After not receiving a call for nearly two hours, he resorted to discreetly playing Angry Birds on his phone.

After what seemed like five straight days of sitting at the desk, the clock ticked noon. Maybe Stephen just needed more food in his system to keep him awake. A six-inch roast beef sub with a lot of hot sauce from the deli next door would certainly put him back on his feet.

After finishing the sandwich, Stephen felt much better. Then he blinked. When he opened his eyes, he was sitting inside a giant hollowed out tree with books littering the walls. He was about to let out a loud, frustrated groan when a voice caught his attention.

“Good evening, Rarity.” In the far corner of the room was what appeared to be a purple bipedal lizard with green spines running from head to tail, flexing into a body mirror. “Why yes, I have been working out. Might I demonstrate by sweeping you off your feet?”

Stephen had no idea what he was watching but he decided he’d seen enough. “Excuse me!” he called out.

“Aah!” The reptile shrieked and spun around. In the same movement, it slapped the mirror with its tail. The mirror was sent careening to the other side of the room on its wheels. “Uh…Hey…When did you get here?” it asked with an embarrassed posture, somehow managing to blush through the purple scales on its face.

“Just a couple seconds ago,” said Stephen.

“Can I help you with anything?” the purple creature asked, still embarrassed.

“I’m in Twilight’s house, right?”

“You aren’t from around here, are you?”

Stephen thought about it and quickly determined that in this case, the simplest answer was the best answer. “Nope.”

“This is the Ponyville Library. Twilight and I live here.”

“That makes sense, I guess. Is Twilight here?”

“She had to run an errand.”

“Maybe you can help me then. What’s your name?”

“I’m Spike, Twilight’s assistant.”

“Well, Spike, I’m Stephen. It’s nice to meet you. Can you do me a favor?”

“What is it?” Spike asked.

“I need you to come over here and hit me.”

Spike jumped slightly at the suggestion. “What? No! Why would I do that?”

“I need you to wake me up.”

“Dude, that doesn’t make any sense. You’re already awake.”

“I’m not awake if I’m here.”

Spike squinted and rubbed his chin for a moment. “Uh...I don't follow." He said with a shrug.

“Seriously, I’m at work right now and I can’t be caught sleeping.”

“But if you’re sleeping, how are we talking right now?”

Stephen was getting real tired of hearing this from his own subconscious characters. “Just do it. Or should I tell Twilight about your workout routine?”

“Ah! No! Anything but that! I’ll do it.” Spike skipped over to Stephen. Stephen tried to turn to his side but almost tripped while doing so. Over the last couple of nights he had gotten used to walking on all fours but any other maneuver was still foreign to him. “You sure you want this?”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Stephen.

“Okay,” Spike balled up his claws into a fist and wound his shoulder back twice. The library door opened with Twilight behind it. Spike thrust his fist straight into Stephen’s ribs. Stephen yelped, lost his breath and fell over onto his side.

“Spike! What are you doing?” Twilight shouted. Spike shrieked again and turned to face Twilight, standing in front of Stephen in a feeble attempt to hide his groaning body. Twilight rushed over to Stephen and knelt down in front of him. “Are you alright?” she asked.

“Right…on…the other bruises!” Stephen gagged out.

“Spike, what did you do that for?” Twilight scolded.

“It’s not my fault. He told me to hit him,” Spike protested.

“Is that true, Stephen?” Twilight asked.

Stephen struggled to his feet. “Ever have someone pinch you when you’re dreaming to make you wake up? I thought it would work here. I really can’t be asleep right now.”

“Even if that were true, don’t you think you would have woken yourself up after being smashed into the floor last night?” Twilight pointed to the middle of the room. There was still a large crack from where contact had been made several times.

“Wait a second,” said Spike. “He’s the pony that was shaking the library last night? I thought you said he vanished this morning.”

“Yep,” said Twilight. “We managed to figure out that somehow he comes to Equestria when he falls asleep.”

“But how is that possible?” asked Spike.

“That’s the part we don’t know yet,” said Twilight. “But it’s good that you’re here, Stephen. Now we can pick up where we left off.”

“What do you mean?” Stephen asked.

“You do realize that you vanished into thin air this morning, right?”

This was no longer amusing to Stephen. “I know that I woke up this morning and went to work. Which is where I’m at now. Which is why I have to wake up.”

“Look, Stephen, if I kept finding myself in another world whenever I went to sleep, I might think I was dreaming too. But I can tell you you’re not dreaming right now. Just look outside.” Twilight pointed to the door. “Are your dreams usually that detailed?”

An uncertain feeling crept through Stephen’s spine. It took him a moment to gather enough courage to approach the library’s door. The world outside could be anything from the mundane to the horrifying. Stephen thought of the possibilities as he approached the library’s door. A purple glow surrounded the door just before it opened on its own.

Outside was a bustling town filled with ponies of various colors. Some ponies fluttered about on their wings like Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash. Some ponies had horns on their heads like Twilight. Some ponies trotted about with neither wings nor horns, like Pinkie Pie or Applejack. There were vendors for fruit, vegetables, flowers, seeds and candies. Every pony went about their business in a town full of wood-framed, straw-roofed houses or tall tents. Stephen had seen this town twice before now. Both times were at night. Now that he was sleeping during the day, he saw what it looked like during the day.

His imagination had never been this good before. Why was it being so detailed and colorful all of a sudden? Overloaded yet again, Stephen’s brain stopped trying to make sense of it. So he backed up into the library and used his neck to close the door. One of his bruises made contact and reminded Stephen of the beating he took last night. Maybe there really was more to this than he had originally assumed? The notion lingered in his mind slightly longer this time.

Stephen remembered Twilight’s question. Are your dreams usually that detailed? “I’ll give you one thing; my dreams have never been this vivid before.”

“If you’re coming here from somewhere else, it’s important we figure out why,” said Twilight. “So do you want to find out or not?”

Stephen sat down and thought for a moment. “Let’s try this,” said Stephen. “I’ve been here two nights in a row already. If this goes on for five more nights that’ll make it a week and I’ll assume that it’s real.”

“But what if you’re here for something important?” Twilight asked, nervousness rising in her voice. “What if something is going wrong?” Her eyes started to get wide. “What if…”

Spike interrupted by poking her side, “Twilight?”

“What?” her head jerked down to face him.

“Relax, Twilight,” said Spike. “Remember what happened the last time you got this concerned about something that might happen in a week?” Twilight pulled back and gave an awkward smile accompanied by a blush.

Stephen didn’t know what happened but it seemed that Spike had Twilight cornered. “What happened?” Stephen asked from curiosity.

Twilight looked up at Stephen and then back down at Spike. Her eyes narrowed and focused in on him. “I remember a certain baby dragon eating too much ice cream and being sick for two days afterwards,” Twilight snipped at Spike. Judging from the look of ‘oops’ on Spike’s face, they were even now.

“Seriously, what did I miss?” Stephen asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Twilight.

Something else was poking at Stephen’s brain now. “Also, quick question; Spike is a dragon?”

“Yes,” said Twilight. “What did you think he was?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. He doesn’t look like any dragon I’ve ever heard of.”

“Hey!” Spike protested.

“He’s a baby dragon,” said Twilight. “Believe me, they get much bigger. Are there dragons where you come from?”

“They’re mythological creatures where I come from. They don’t really exist.”

“That bruise I put on your flank certainly exists,” Spike snipped causing both Twilight and Stephen to shoot him a disapproving glare.

Twilight sighed and returned to the original topic. “I guess a few nights won’t hurt anything. But there’s still one thing I’m concerned about,” said Twilight.

“What’s that?” asked Stephen.

“You say you only come here when you’re sleeping. That means you’re more likely to come at night. What will you do even if you keep coming back? There’s not much to do around Ponyville at night.”

“What if he hung out with us?” asked Spike.

“That’s a good idea, Spike. But you have trouble staying up late and I can’t stay up for five nights in a row.”

“Maybe our friends would be willing to take turns?” Spike suggested.

“That’s an excellent suggestion. I’ll ask them later.”

“Do we have a plan then?” Stephen asked.

“We certainly do,” said Twilight. “Shake on it?” Twilight held out her front hoof. Even now, Stephen was not sure what he was getting himself into. If the last two nights were to set the precedence for the nights to follow, he was in for a lot of pain and exhaustion. All he could do now was hope that he was correct and not this possibly imaginary purple pony that he kept talking to. Stephen reached out and shook her hoof.

Without warning, Stephen was enveloped in darkness and was falling from a height. His head collided with something hard and made a lot of noise. He yelped and shot up to his feet. His stomach was tied in knots from the sudden burst of adrenaline. Though it would go to waste when Stephen realized the situation. He simply was leaning on his hand, slipped off and bumped his head on his desk.

A white button-down shirt and black tie was standing next to him. Stephen followed the tie up to a muscular neck, chiseled face with a tan complexion and perfectly combed brown hair. A wolf in sheep’s clothing if Stephen had ever saw one. “Sleeping on the job now?” Damien asked.

Stephen looked over at his computer’s clock. It was 12:49 PM. “I’ve still got ten minutes of lunch break. How long have you been there?”

“Just now. I thought I’d come over and say ‘hi’ but I saw you taking a nap. Was it a good nap?”

Hearing that, Stephen would have bet good money that Damien helped Stephen’s head fall off his hand. Back when they were in community college, Damien pulled all kinds of stuff on Stephen whenever he was off guard. Nobody else was around at the moment so what would stop him from doing it now? “It was alright. Thank you for waking me up though. I’m not sure how much longer that was going to go on for.”

“How much longer was what going to go on for?” Damien’s eyes glistened with intrigue.

Stephen realized he had just laid himself out as shark bait. Mentally cursing himself for the slip, he attempted to recover. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Damien asked.

Stephen ever so slightly raised his voice. “I’m fine, Damien.” Hopefully he’d take the hint.

Damien put his hands up and backed out of the cubicle. “Alright, no worries. You just enjoy the rest of your lunch break.”

That was surprisingly easy. Perhaps this day wasn’t going to be so bad after all. At least, that’s what Stephen thought until Kramer rounded the corner into his cubicle. “Good afternoon, Stephen,” Kramer said in his usual droning voice. “How is your lunch break?”

“It’s peaceful,” Stephen said in a tone as upbeat as he could muster. He barely had enough energy left to do his normal duties. There certainly wasn’t any energy to spare for this type of thing in the amounts he usually had to take it. Hopefully this would be over quickly too.

“It’s come to my attention that you haven’t been feeling well today or yesterday. Is it something you wish to share?”

Any floating chance he had to keep up the fake enthusiasm was instantly deflated. “Did Damien tell you?” Stepehen asked.

“Damien was concerned about you. He saw you sleeping at your desk and remembered that you said you had trouble sleeping the other night.”

“It’s not a problem, sir, honest.” If Stephen had to keep this up much longer, he was going to be an expert liar by the end of the week.

“We wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable here,” Kramer droned on. “If you’re sick we don’t want anyone else to catch what you have. So I suggest you take the rest of the day off. Rest up today and over the weekend and we’ll start fresh on Monday.”

“I’m fine, I promise,” said Stephen.

“Don’t worry, Stephen. I know you’ve got the employee reviews on your mind. I promise taking a couple of sick days won’t reflect badly on you. It’s been a slow day anyway.”

Stephen thought it over for a moment. He either had to take his word for it or try to impress him. Kramer was possibly lying about the review. If that was the case, he shouldn’t take the bait. But if he were telling the truth, not going home might seem like insubordination. Remembering that Selena was working a night shift tonight and wanted him to come home early, Stephen decided it was worth the risk. “Thank you, sir,” said Stephen. He began to shut down his workstation. “This is a great help. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Just be sure to feel better.”

“Will do, sir. Have a good day.”

Exhausted but with new-found enthusiasm, Stephen made his way home.

Cooperative Mode

Stephen had felt like he had been awake for three days straight now. His eyes were heavy and walking was difficult. The perfectly normal afternoon traffic was inexplicably annoying today. Frequent coffee and restroom breaks kept him away from his desk at work and his sleeplessness was so obvious that it compelled Kramer to send him home. He had to get control of this situation before anything else was affected. But how would he even start going about this? After thinking for a while, Stephen came up with two possibilities.

The first possibility was that his exhaustion was a result of his mind playing tricks on him. His understanding of the science of sleep was very limited, but the last few nights must have qualified as lucid dreaming. If that was the case, perhaps the picturesque detail and realistic passing of time made his mind think that he was awake and conscious the whole time. Thus tricking his body into thinking it never really slept.

What if that wasn’t the case? The second possibility was nearly the opposite of the first. Perhaps the lucid dreams were brought on by Stephen’s mind going into a dream state while his body somehow stayed awake. That would open up the possibility of sleepwalking with the dreams playing along to whatever was happening to his body. That might explain the bruises Stephen found on himself this morning. Maybe he had gotten up and fallen down his stairs while sleepwalking? But then how did he get back into bed and wake up in the same position he had fallen asleep in without disturbing Selena? She wasn’t a terribly heavy sleeper. She would have noticed if he moved her too much.

With those thoughts considered, Stephen had reached the limit of his understanding on this subject. He was going to have to reach out to someone who could help. So on the way home, he called his doctor, who suggested a sleep specialist and gave him a number. Shortly after, an appointment was scheduled for the next day.

Stephen walked into his house and through the kitchen. On the other side of the kitchen was the living room where Selena lay on his sofa, playing a video game. Stephen reached over his sofa to give her a hug. She paused the game and spun around to hug him back. Her body slammed into his, her arms gripped around his torso like a vice and her head rested over his shoulder. Stephen held his breath and prayed she wouldn’t see how his face was contorting from pain. “What are you doing home so early?” she squeaked with excitement.

Stephen asked for space with a gentle push on her stomach. She took the hint and compromised by holding onto his shoulders and looking into his eyes. “I was sent home,” Stephen said after putting on a big smile.

Selena’s eyes widened. “You didn’t get in trouble, did you?”

“I don’t think I did. Damien saw me sleeping during my lunch break and told Kramer. The phones weren’t ringing much so Kramer said if I was tired then I should take the rest of the day off.”

“That was nice of him.”

“I know, right? I didn’t expect that at all.”

Selena’s eyes sulked slightly. “Does that mean you’re going back to bed?”

“I think I’d rather hang out with my favorite girl.” As Stephen moved to sit down on the couch, he noticed his television. He didn’t recognize the game that Selena was playing. Stephen wasn’t much of a gamer. Excepting an occasional boring weekend, Stephen only played when his gamer friends came to visit. The consoles and games weren’t even his. Stephen’s gamer friends lived in a neighborhood with a high burglary rate, so their games were at Stephen’s house for safekeeping. But this didn’t look like any of the other games. “What are you playing? I don’t think it’s one of the ones on my shelf.” Stephen asked as he sat down next to Selena.

“I brought it from my house to kill time while I waited for you. It’s called Portal 2. Have you ever heard of it?”

“I’ve heard the title before but I’ve never seen it. What’s it about?"

Selena resumed the game. “This gun in the screen shoots portals. The object of the game is to use the portals to solve puzzles and get around obstacles.”

“That sounds fun,” said Stephen.

“It can be but it’s actually really tough. I’ve been stuck on this level for a while.”

“Where do you have to go?”

Selena used the game’s cursor to point to a platform high in the middle of the room with no other platforms anywhere near it. “I think I have to get here. But I haven’t figured out how yet.”

“Show me what you were trying just before I got here.”

Selena pointed the gun on the screen at a nearby wall and pressed a button, making the gun shoot an orange circle at the wall. She then pointed the gun at a higher up platform on the right side of the room. Pressing another button created a window between the rear wall and the platform. Selena walked through the wall and onto the platform she had shot at a second ago.

Stephen found it odd that this narrow platform was painted orange instead of being off-white like the rest of the stage. Perhaps there was a reason for it. “Why is the floor orange?” Stephen asked.

“That’s propulsion gel. It makes you run really fast. I put it here thinking I could use the momentum to get myself to another platform. But there’s nowhere to run to.” Selena created another portal to put herself back on the original platform.

That’s when Stephen noticed two tubes on the right side of the platform. One was dropping the orange paint that Stephen saw on the floor. The other was dropping blue paint. “Why is there blue paint coming from that tube?” he asked.

“That’s repulsion gel. It makes you bounce. I tried using that on some of the other platforms on the left side of the stage but that didn’t work either.”

Stephen studied the stage for about ten seconds. “Can I see that platform you were just on?”

Selena pointed the gun to the right. “Like that?”

“Just like that.” Stephen looked over the platform. An angled surface on the wall above the platform caught his eye. It was suspiciously level with another angled surface across from it. “Can you make the blue stuff come out from here?” he asked and pointed to it.

“Yep!” Selena put an orange circle under the tube that dispensed the repulsion gel. Then she put a blue ring on the wall Stephen pointed at. He watched the blue globs drop through the hole in the floor and then fly through the hole in the wall to splatter against the ramp. “Do you have a plan?” Selena asked.

“Not really, but I have something I’d like to try.” Stephen reviewed the stage one more time. “Go back to the platform with the propulsion gel.” Selena made another portal that she could walk through and found herself facing the wall they had just used to launch the repulsion gel. Stephen pointed to the wall directly in front of her and the surface they had launched the gel from. “Make it so you’ll go through the lower wall and come out through the high wall.” Selena followed his instructions. “See if that works.”

Selena pushed the character forward through the portal and out the wall. She hit the wall that they covered in the repulsion gel and was sent airborne, dropping down on a higher platform two seconds later. “That was awesome!” Selena cried. “I’ve been trying to figure that out for an hour. Are you sure you’ve never played this game before?”

“I’m not sure what to tell you,” said Stephen. “It was just the first thing that popped into my head.”

Selena turned around in the game and found a cube set next to where she had landed on the platform. “Oh! We’re making progress.” She pressed a button and the cube started floating in front of the gun. “These are supposed to hold down buttons so we can move on. Where do you think we should go next?”

“Let me see around the room,” said Stephen. As Selena panned the camera around the room, Stephen studied the stage’s layout again. “Drop down to that platform.” Selena obeyed his command and gave Stephen another three hundred sixty degree view of the stage. To their left was the starting platform and what appeared to be a machine on the platform next to it. Stephen pointed to the machine. “Can I see what’s over there?”

Selena made a portal to that platform and stepped through it. “Huzzah!” she cheered. “See that red square on the floor? That’s where this cube needs to go.” Selena went over to the square and set the cube on top of it. Stephen watched the machine on a platform straight ahead turn upside-down. “Well, that doesn’t do us any good!” Selena giggled.

Stephen looked over to the left and saw the starting platform tubes dripping the different gels. Then he remembered the rest of the stage’s layout. Somewhere on a higher platform was a ramp that pointed at this machine. “Is there a way to make that platform go back to normal?”

“Like this?” Selena took the cube off the button. The machine turned back to where it was positioned originally.

Stephen pointed to the floor under the machine. “Make the blue stuff come up from the floor so it splashes the bottom of the machine.”

“What’s the plan?” Selena asked.

“I still don’t know,” said Stephen. Selena put a portal under the repulsion gel and opened it on the floor under the machine. When the blue gel dropped through the hole under the tube, it launched straight up and splattered against the machine. “Now make it turn over again,” said Stephen. Selena obeyed and put the cube back onto the button.

“What now?”

“If I’m on the right track, you should go back to the starting platform.” Selena took Stephen’s suggestion and held the camera on the right side of the room. Stephen looked it over and found what he was looking for in under five seconds. “Can you make blue gel hit this ramp up here?” he asked, pointing to a specific platform on the far right side of the room. Selena sent a portal and made the tubes spray it with repulsion gel. “Now go back over to that spot with the orange stuff,” Stephen pointed out the platform he was referring to. “You’ll want to go through this wall again,” Stephen’s finger traced his game plan on the screen. “But make it so you come out of this wall here,” Stephen pointed to the ramp where they had just dropped the repulsion gel.

Selena prepared herself by setting the portals in the necessary spots. “Let’s give it a shot!” she cheered before running forward again. She went through the wall at high speed and came out of the higher wall. Stephen watched Selena cringe with anticipation as her character was launched across the screen, losing momentum halfway through the drop. She then gasped with excitement when her character bounced off the rotating platform they had covered in repulsion gel. The extra boost of momentum launched Selena up and across the remaining distance, landing perfectly on the stage’s highest platform and straight into an elevator to the next level.

Selena launched up from the sofa with a cheer and a shriek. “That was awesome!” Selena held her hand up high. Stephen slowly rose from the sofa to grant her the high-five. “How did you do that so quickly?”

“Like I said; it was just the first thing that popped into my head. But I’m liking this game. Does it have a cooperative mode?” Stephen asked.

“It does actually!” As excitable as Selena could be, Stephen hadn’t seen her this enthusiastic in a while. Stephen wasted no time in preparing the second player controller while Selena exited her single-player game.

The couple played together, solved puzzles and laughed together. Stephen rarely took more than a couple minutes to work out most of them. During some of the momentum-based challenges, Stephen was often able to point out mistakes they had made and fix them while airborne. Not only did this save them from quite a few in-game deaths but it was also a pleasant surprise to Stephen, who didn’t know he could do this type of thing.

The hours flew by. But after so long, Stephen’s mind started getting cloudy and the stages were gradually taking him longer to figure out. Not that the difficulty was any greater, but that it was getting more difficult for Stephen’s brain to connect the dots. After his mind bogged down, his speech became slow and slurred. But the last cue to stop playing came when Stephen’s stomach growled at them in the middle of a puzzle, causing Selena to burst into laugher and fall into a trap.

“Perhaps it’s time we get some dinner,” said Selena when she stopped laughing.

“Then some sleep,” Stephen muttered, rising from the sofa.

“We’re not going for a walk tonight?” Selena asked with a curled lower lip.

“I’m absolutely beat today, Selena,” Stephen said as he made his way into the kitchen.

“Is it because you didn’t sleep well last night?”

Stephen started digging through his refrigerator. “It’s because I didn’t sleep well the last couple of nights.”

Selena tried to comfort Stephen with a hug. Stephen prepared himself for pain, but thankfully, she was being especially gentle and didn’t grab around any of his bruises. “You’re not sick, are you?”

Selena let go of Stephen when he came out of the refrigerator. “I promise I’ll be fine.” Stephen didn’t know if that was true. But he didn’t want her to worry about him too much. “I’ve got an appointment with a sleep specialist tomorrow. Hopefully I can get this sorted out before it becomes a real problem.”

“That’s good. Let me know how that goes.”

The dinner was enjoyable even though Stephen didn’t find leftover take-out to be as tasty the second day. Some of the pleasure came from how Stephen didn’t have to put any effort into preparing it. He simply didn’t have enough energy to do anything more complicated than a microwave. The rest of the enjoyment came from having Selena there with him. Though they saw a lot of each other, Stephen enjoyed every moment and really didn’t want to picture spending his free time any other way.

It was a little after six-thirty when they finished washing the dishes. Stephen made his way up the stairs with Selena close behind, refusing to head out for work as he requested. After saving him from falling over this morning, she wanted to make sure he was alright getting up the stairs. Though he was a little slower on the ascent, he got up the stairs without a problem.

“I told you I could get up here myself. I’m not old yet,” Stephen chuckled.

“But what would I do if I come back tomorrow and you were laid out at the bottom of the stairs? I don’t think I could handle that.”

Stephen plopped himself onto his bed and Selena bent down to give him a kiss. “Do well at work and I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Stephen.

“Sleep tight for me, okay?”

“I will.”

After Selena left, Stephen felt himself nodding off. Finally, he would get some much sought-after sleep.

“Gosh darn it!” Stephen shouted into the library.

“Landsakes!” a southern accent cried out in response.

Stephen looked around the room. Twilight, Applejack and Spike were gazing at him, wide-eyed and startled, over a stack of wood planks and tools. Stephen hung his head low and walked towards them.

“We have got to figure out why that keeps happening,” said Twilight.

“So he really does appear just like that, doesn’t he?” Applejack asked.

“Yes, and he disappears just as quick,” said Twilight. “Earlier today he vanished right out of my hoof!”

“Sorry for startling you,” Stephen muttered. “What did I interrupt this time?”

“We were just gettin’ to fixin’ this here dent in the floor from last night,” said Applejack.

“Sounds fun,” said Stephen. “Well I’m here now so let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Spike chuckled as he picked a crowbar that was on the floor. “Yeah we’ll let you know if we need you to smash a piece of wood back into place.”

“Spike, don’t be rude!” Twilight scorned.

“I’m just joking with him. Geezelouise!” Spike grunted and shoved the crowbar into the floorboards.

Stephen laid down on the floor and tried to relax while he watched Spike work. The dragon bent his crowbar down as far as his little body could push it. The floor creaked and one of the broken boards bent upward.

“I got it!” Applejack declared.

Applejack rose onto her front legs, coiling her hind legs into her body. Stephen looked at the way the floorboard was bent to a point of breaking and then noticed how he was laying straight in front of it. “Oh my…”

A sonorous crack resonated through the air when the board snapped under Applejack’s powerful legs. The board was catapulted across the room, spiraling end-over-end as it flew right towards Stephen’s face.

Stephen’s reflexes took over, causing him to cover his head with his front legs. For a few suspenseful seconds, he awaited the smack of a wooden plank that never came. Peering up through his forelegs, he found the villainous plank was mere inches from his face, hovering in mid-air and glowing purple.

“That was a close one!" Twilight called out. "Are you alright?”

“Yeah, thanks for catching that,” Stephen said as he moved to lie down in a safer spot of the room.

“It’s not a problem,” Twilight said proudly.

Stephen watched from a far corner of the room as the ponies repaired the floorboards. After Spike and Applejack finished removing the damaged floorboards, Twilight levitated them into a neat pile. Now that all the damaged floorboards were removed, there was a hole in the library’s floor where the basement below was visible through its ceiling’s frame. The new floorboards would need to be fitted into where the old ones were taken out. But the edges of the hole were jagged and uneven from where Spike had snapped them off. They’d probably need to be sanded even but Stephen didn’t see sandpaper among their tools. Just as he thought that, Twilight’s horn started glowing again. The split and uneven ends of the surrounding floorboards shattered into a thousand tiny pieces and made a perfectly rectangular hole in the floor. That was just plain amazing.

Applejack approached the hole with a measuring tape in her mouth. Stephen looked at the hole and then to the boards they had and noticed something was off. Looking over their tools, he noticed they didn’t have a saw. “I think you’ll need to cut about a half foot off those boards,” Stephen spoke up.

“How could you tell?” asked Spike.

“I get a lot of practice at my job,” said Stephen.

Applejack measured the hole and compared it to the length of the planks. “Well I’ll be,” she said. “That’s just about right. I’ll have to run to the hardware store across the street.” Applejack set down the measuring tape and jogged out the door.

“Stephen, since you know a little about this, would you like to help when Applejack gets back?”

Stephen sat up and shrugged. “Sure, anything to kill the time.”

Applejack returned a few minutes later with a saw and they went to work. Twilight’s magic would hold the boards steady while Spike would cut them to the proper length. Applejack and Stephen would put the boards down over a layer of glue. They worked with great teamwork and efficiency and within a half hour, the hole in the floor was covered. Then Applejack went over it with a layer of lacquer. Twilight zapped it with her horn and it instantly dried. Applejack applied a second layer and Twilight zapped it again. After that, Stephen couldn’t even tell there had been a hole in the first place.

“Phew! Now all we have to do is figure out how to do the same thing on the ceiling,” Twilight said as she pointed to the Rainbow Dash shaped dent.

“That was awesome, everyone,” said Stephen.

“Shucks, it ain’t nothin’,” said Applejack.

“I wish repairs could be made that quick where I come from,” Stephen replied. “My job would be a lot easier.”

“Anyway, Stephen,” said Applejack. “Twilight tells me you two have a little wager going on and you need somewhere to hang out for the night.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Stephen replied.

“Well it just so happens that zap-apple season is startin’ tonight,” said Applejack. “My Granny Smith can’t ward off the timberwolves anymore. So it’s up to the rest of us Apple-folk to take up the reigns. It’s our first year doing it without Granny Smith so we could use all the help we can get. You up for a challenge?” Applejack asked as she started packing her tools.

Stephen only caught Applejack’s first sentence. Everything else she said got tuned out by horrific flashbacks of getting chased two nights ago. “Timberwolves?” he asked. “Those things made me run for my life two nights ago. I’d like to stay very far away from them if at all possible.”

Applejack finished packing her tools into her saddle bag and threw it over her back. “Aw shoot. It ain’t anything to worry about. All ya gotta do is bang pots and pans together. C’mon! It’ll be fun!” Applejack pleaded as she trotted up behind Stephen. Pressing against his backside, she pushed him towards the door. Stephen's hind legs came right off the ground and he slid all the way across the library as he resisted in futility against Applejack's strength.

Desperate for help, Stephen looked back for support from Twilight and Spike. However, Twilight was waving goodbye and spike was giggling at his misfortune. “Have fun!” Twilight called out.

“Help me for goodness’ sake!” Stephen pleaded as he was pushed through the door. With a hind leg, Applejack kicked it shut behind them.

Poor Man's Warhorse

Is this what it feels like to prepare for war? Ever since he left the library with Applejack, Stephen's heart had been growing heavier and his stomach had tied itself into several knots. “What exactly is going on tonight?” he asked as they walked through the dusk-lit town of Ponyville.

“We’re makin’ sure the timberwolves don’t come into town,” said Applejack. “Did I hear that you already had experience with them?”

“According to Fluttershy, they’re what chased me out of the forest a couple of nights ago. Although I still don’t know what they are.”

“Not many ponies do,” said Applejack. “What we do know is that they come out of the Everfree forest around the start of zap-apple season.”

“Okay, remember that I’m not from Equestria? I don’t know what any of this stuff is. Why don’t you start from the beginning and tell me what you know?”

Applejack sighed at Stephen. “Nopony knows much about the Everfree forest other than it’s not natural and don’t work the same as the rest of Equestria. Twilight thinks it’s because of a strange magic that resides there and goes dormant when winter comes around. Winter weather makes the trees lose their leaves and a lot of their branches. When we wrap up winter and spring comes, the magic wakes up and brings the whole forest to life for a week.

“The apple trees come back to life and grow the most delicious colorful pieces of magical fruit you ever did taste in your life. That’s a zap-apple. But those fallen leaves and dead branches come together and start howlin’ and lookin’ for food. That’s a timberwolf. Then at the end of spring’s first week, the magic settles down, the timberwolves fall apart and the zap-apples disappear.”

Stephen stopped walking so he could try to comprehend everything he just heard. After a moment, he gave up. “None of that makes any sense!” He cried. “Are you telling me I got chased out of a forest by a bunch of sticks and leaves?” The thought of getting chased by inanimate objects made Stephen a little upset with himself. “Do these things hunt ponies?”

“They sure do. That’s why we gotta chase them off the farm and keep them from goin’ into Ponyville.” Stephen’s heart sank to a new low when he heard that. There was some comfort in knowing that his fears from two nights ago were justified. But that being known, he was even less enthralled about going out to confront them. Applejack had to double-back and push him to get him walking again. “Now don’t you fret,” she said. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Well that’s good,” Stephen droned sarcastically, dragging his feet as he walked. “Now I feel much better about the idea of chasing after a pack of carnivorous tree bark.”

Applejack stopped pushing Stephen. “Well, here we are,” Applejack pointed to a sign over the end of the driveway reading ‘Sweet Apple Acres’. As Stephen approached the large barn-shaped house at the top of a hill, he took in the sights of apple trees planted in neat rows for as far as he could see. The estate was huge. The front field alone was at least fifteen acres. Applejack trotted ahead of Stephen. “Hustle up there, Stephen.” Picking up his pace, he followed Applejack to the house.

Once inside, an affectionate border collie greeted Applejack, who lovingly nuzzled her in return. “Winona, say ‘hi’ to our guest,” Applejack commanded. As the dog looked up at Stephen, he half-expected her to talk like the ponies. With a frantically wagging tail, Winona let out a pleasant sounding bark. Perhaps there was some normalcy in this world after all. “Good girl, Winona,” said Applejack. “C’mon, Stephen. You gotta meet the family.”

Stephen followed Applejack into the family room where he was introduced to Applejack’s nuclear family. There was a wrinkled green pony reclining in a rocking chair. Her nappy, white mane was tied into a bun. This combination of things that Stephen never thought he’d see was introduced to him as Granny Smith.

“Ain’t he a delightful young whippersnapper?” Granny Smith said with a laugh. “We’re always in need of a good helper around here. You’ll do a fine job, sonny.”

Applejack spun Stephen around and brought him face-to-chest with a red-coated wall of muscle. “This is my older brother, Big Macintosh,” said Applejack.

Until now, Stephen had been slightly taller than all the ponies he’d met. But Big Macintosh was at least a head taller and one hundred pounds heavier than Stephen. Stephen had to back up a couple of steps so that proper eye contact could be established. An orange, unkempt mane sat on top of his head and he wore a yolk over his shoulders. “It’s nice to meet you,” Stephen said. Big Mac merely nodded in return.

Applejack’s younger sister, Apple Bloom, was a ball of energy with a yellow coat and a pink bow decorating her red mane. The little pony was ecstatic to have company helping them chase the timberwolves until she caught a glimpse of Stephen’s flank. “How come you ain’t got a cutie mark, mister?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Apple Bloom, don’t be rude to our guest!” Applejack reprimanded her sister.

Stephen wasn’t even sure how to answer. He looked around the room, noticing that everyone else, excepting Apple Bloom and himself, had a mark of some kind. “I really don’t know.”

“Don’t you have any special talents?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Apple Bloom, stop pestering Stephen!” Applejack shouted again.

Apple Bloom didn’t seem to notice her sister. “Did you get picked on as a foal too?”

The way she spoke made Stephen believe that having a cutie mark was a big deal. But he had neither time nor knowledge to explain the situation. So how could he answer in a way that would dismiss the subject? “This really wasn’t an issue when I was growing up,” seemed to be a fitting answer.

Apple Bloom hopped up onto Stephen’s back and stood proudly. “Well I know I’m gettin’ my cutie mark tonight!”

Stephen found the young pony’s enthusiasm amusing. It was like how a child would expect to tackle a carnival game and win every prize. Plus it was a welcome distraction from his churning insides. “Really?” Stephen asked. “What’s your cutie mark going to be?”

“I’m gonna get my cutie mark in whoopin’ some timberwolves!”

“Apple Bloom!” Applejack tackled her little sister off of Stephen’s back. The ponies wrestled playfully for a minute, ending with Applejack pinning Apple Bloom and rustling her mane. “C’mon, ya little filly, it’s time to suit up.” The words ‘suit up’ were like knives in Stephen’s heart.

Suiting up was a process of tying pots and pans together under Granny Smith’s supervision. After about an hour of preparing the wares, the ponies tied each other up. Once Big Mac was set, he fastened a set of pans over Stephen’s back. Several more were tied to his legs and one was strapped atop his head like a helmet. By the end of it, everyone looked like the poor man’s version of armored warhorses. The makeshift armor clinked and clanked with any movement.

“Atten-hut!” Granny Smith’s voice called into the kitchen. Like soldiers, Big Mac, Applejack, Apple Bloom and even Winona fell into line and stood at attention. With a bit of clanging, Stephen set himself at the end of the line. Granny Smith, adorned in a war helmet, walked the line at a snail’s pace. Why did she get an actual helmet while Stephen was stuck wearing pots? Stephen had sweat coming down his face. He looked ridiculous. He felt like he was on his way to the battle of Normandy. Granny Smith’s hips squeaked like a rusty door hinge when she walked. All of this together made it very difficult for Stephen to keep his composure. “Now listen here, troops!” Granny Smith continued. “Tonight’s the night you carry the legacy of Sweet Apple Acres. I want each of you little ponies to go out there and show them cotton pickin’ timberwolves what for. So I’d better not see any of you puttin’ down anything less than everythin’ you got!” She stopped and looked Stephen dead in the eyes. “Do I make myself clear?” she shouted into Stephen’s face and stamped the ground. Stephen’s fear-induced paralysis kept him from jumping out of his skin. This old gray mare could probably still kick his rear end. How is it she wasn’t going out with them? “Because of my bad hip this’ll be your first year chasing off the timberwolves without my help. We got a rookie in our ranks so listen careful now. All ya gotta do is run along the edge of the forest. Those timberwolves’ll be a-howlin’ somethin’ fierce and tryin’ real hard to get onto the farm. Make as much noise as you can and you’ll scare ‘em off. Any questions?”

“Ma’am! No, ma’am!” the Apple family resounded. Even Winona barked a response. Stephen, however, was too nervous to speak.

“Now fall out!” Granny Smith saluted her family. Stephen saluted back with them.

The Apple family filed out of the house and into the field behind it. They had almost five hundred yards to walk to the edge of the orchard where the forest began. For Stephen, each step was like lifting a lead weight. All he knew was that he was turning himself into bait and quite literally presenting himself to his hunter. Stephen froze again, his armor rattling with his fearful palsy. Applejack turned around and trotted back to meet him. “Whoa there, sugarcube,” she said. “You’re shakin’ like a rattlesnake. Why so nervous?”

“You know exactly why I’m nervous!” Stephen snipped at Applejack.

“Try not to get too worked up there, buddy,” said Applejack. “My Granny Smith’s been doing this since she was young.”

“Last week I ran away when a squirrel fell out of a tree and landed next to me. How the heck am I supposed to chase off a wolf?”

Applejack seemed frustrated with him for a moment before her face softened into a compassionate smile. She placed a hoof over Stephen’s shoulder and said, “Listen to me. What I’m telling you is the honest truth. Just stay close to me and you’ll be safe.” On cue, howls rang out from the forest. They were close. Applejack reared up and cried out, “Yee-haw!” before bolting straight towards the edge of the forest, clanging like a rusty tin-man the whole way down. The others weren’t far behind.

The battle with the timberwolves had barely begun and Stephen had already made his first mistake. Stephen had seen enough Discovery channel to know that the animals that fall to the back of the herd are the first to be picked off by predators. Now his unwillingness to move had put himself in that exact situation. “Stephen, you moron!” he shouted at himself. “Applejack even told you to stay close to her.”

Weighing his options, he first considered that maybe he didn't need to go all the way to the edge of the forest. Perhaps he could run around here and chase back any timberwolves that happened to get through the others? But what about the animals at the back of the herd that always get picked off first? However, if he were to run with the Apple family, he would be physically closer to the timberwolves and thus more likely to be taken. But what about the animals at the back of the herd that always get picked off first? Torn between options, Stephen started trotting in place.

What am I worried about? Stephen thought to himself. Isn’t this just a dream? he thought, lifting his front leg to move forward. But what if it’s really not a dream and the animals at the back of the herd always get picked off first in this world too? “Seriously, brain?” Stephen shouted at himself. “I cannot handle this type of betrayal right now!”

Remembering the bruises he woke up with that morning, Stephen decided that counting on this being a dream wasn’t the best idea. If, by chance, he wasn’t dreaming; being at the back of the herd and getting eaten was not an appealing concept. Besides, Applejack promised she’d look out for him, right? She promised he would be safe. Stephen would just have to have faith that she was telling the truth. When these pieces of logic came together, Stephen’s legs went into autopilot and he charged towards the edge of the forest.

As he approached, he could see Big Mac, Applejack and Apple Bloom running back and forth. Drawing closer, the ringing metal, Applejack’s cheering and Winona’s barking began to overpower the timberwolfs’ howls. Only once did Stephen dare to look into the forest and see sets of glowing yellow eyes staring back at him. “Eyes forward, Stephen. Don’t look at them,” he reminded himself.

Locating Applejack, Stephen ran alongside her. The moonlight caught her face when she turned her head and gave him an approving smile, her silent reassurance easing Stephen's fear. For a few minutes, they ran together and Stephen felt safer, just as Applejack had promised.

Suddenly, Applejack stopped and doubled-back. Stephen tried to match her footwork, only to cross his two front legs and topple over like an unstable house of cards. Why did he try that? He’d just gotten the hang of running on all fours. Fancy footwork was still out of the question.

By the time he looked up, Applejack was clear across the field. He had fallen behind yet again. Stephen scrambled to his feet. When he got up, a growl and a bark came from behind him, chilling his spine and freezing his whole body in place. With morbid, yet reluctant curiosity, Stephen slowly forced his head to look over his shoulder.

Four horrible glowing yellow eyes pierced through Stephen’s soul. Two wolf-shaped bodies came into the moonlight, looking like poorly made wooden puppets with jagged, uneven and sharp edges. Antlers made from tree branches protruded from their heads. The creaking and cracking sounds that came from their joints contradicted the graceful appearance of their movements as they advanced on Stephen with the same fearsome charisma of a real wolf. One of them growled and revealed several wooden stakes in its mouth, each so sharp that they shone in the moonlight. Applejack was right. These creatures were not natural. One of them raised its head to the moon and let out a blood-chilling howl.

“Applejack!” Stephen shouted, hoping she could hear him from so far away and over the noise of battle. Stephen took off like a frightened horse. It was times like this that Stephen was glad he was a pony. Adrenaline or not, he knew what thirty miles-per-hour felt like and he knew that he’d never be able to run this fast as a human, even in a dream. Helping Stephen continue at this speed was the sound of the timberwolves’ barks and wooden feet thumping on the ground just behind his flanks. Stephen’s back hooves smacked against one’s jaw when it got too close to his tail. Where was Applejack? Didn’t she promise to help him?

Stephen could see the moonlight caressing the cobblestone walls and thatched roof of a well about ten yards away. If he could hide behind it, he might have a chance. Instead, he tripped over himself with about three yards to go. His fate would have been sealed if the timberwolves hadn't pounced at the same moment he tripped. They flew over his head and collided with the cobblestone well.

Stephen tried to get to his feet but by the time they would cooperate, it was too late. Not only were the timberwolves back up, but they looked even angrier. Wrapping around the side of the well, Stephen tried again to hide behind it. When the timberwolves persisted, he rattled and screamed to no avail - the timberwolves inched closer still. Now that he thought about it, they had chased him all the way up to the barn while he was making that noise and were unaffected. Of the entire pack, why did Stephen have to get the alphas? Or maybe they simply weren’t afraid of the noise anymore now that they had him pinned, petrified and out of ideas. The only certainty was that he was about to find out if this was a dream or not. If it were a dream, being killed here would definitely wake him up. If not, he wished he had paid more attention in church as a kid so he could remember which prayer to say.

A distant metal clanging quickly grew louder and closer. Applejack was here! Stephen was going to be safe after all. “Don’t worry, I got ya!” came a voice that sounded too young and high-pitched to be Applejack. “You get your muddy sticks away from him, ya nasty timberwolves!” Apple Bloom shouted as she approached at full gallop. Stephen didn’t want her here. She was just a child. What if she found herself in the same type of trouble he was in?

His fears were confirmed when one of the timberwolves turned around and barked in her face. Apple Bloom, until now, had been staying near her brother and successfully warding off the pack. She wasn’t at all prepared for one to stand its ground against her. Startled and confused, she fell over. Not knowing what to do, she was almost as paralyzed with fear as Stephen. However, her lungs were still working so she used them to their full potential by letting out ear-piercing, fear-filled shrieks into the night.

One timberwolf approached Apple Bloom with a hungry look in its eyes while another did the same to Stephen. Desperate for a solution, he noticed that he was still within reach of the well. The bucket was hanging over it and in line with the timberwolf’s head. If he pulled the bucket close to one of the roof’s posts, he could swing it around like a tetherball and hit the wolf. But there was no guarantee that would do anything and even if it did, it might just draw the timberwolf’s attention back to Stephen.

Despite Apple Bloom’s cries, the timberwolves continued their advance. Stephen kept trying to move but was frozen in place. He didn’t want Apple Bloom to get taken too. He’d never been in a situation like this before. How was he supposed to act? Horrible images of various possibilities flashed through Stephen’s head. One of the Timberwolves ganging up on Apple Bloom, one of Stephen staying still and they both get eaten, one of Stephen lashing out and sacrificing himself to save Apple Bloom and one of Stephen saving them both.

He simply couldn’t do it. A man who spent his whole life avoiding conflict would never be able to protect anyone. Stephen was disgusted with himself as his fear bound him like ropes. Unable to help, he could only resign himself. The nightmare would be over momentarily. Whichever fate awaited Stephen and Apple Bloom, he just hoped it wouldn’t hurt.

After what sounded like a gun shot, the demonic collection of calamitous timber to Stephen’s left yelped and flew away several feet. Big Mac was in its place, landing back on all fours from the powerful buck. When Stephen’s timberwolf got to its feet, Big Mac rattled himself extra hard as he chased it off.

To Stephen’s right, a rope appeared from his peripherals and wrapped around the neck of Apple Bloom’s timberwolf. The rope led several feet over and into Applejack’s mouth. With a muffled, “Get over here!” Applejack yanked the timberwolf away from Apple Bloom. Turning around, she bucked the timberwolf airborne. Without even giving it a chance to land, Applejack let out a victorious, “Yee-haw!” and lunged through the air to head butt the timberwolf in the gut. Then she curled up in mid-air and thrust both of her hind legs forward. Given the context, Stephen was nearly sickened when Applejack’s kick produced the sounds of cracking wood. Applejack landed safely on her haunches, using one of her front legs to hold her stetson in place.

When the beast landed, it scrambled to its feet and ran back into the forest with a limp, whimpering like a beaten dog the whole way. In a few more seconds, the howling had died down in the distance. The battle was over. A relieved Stephen collapsed and took his first real breaths since this ordeal started.

However, the peace only lasted until Applejack got down into his face. “Didn’t I tell you to stick close to me?” she shouted. “I thought you were runnin’ with me until Apple Bloom told me ya’ll were getting chased up the orchard!” Then she turned to Apple Bloom, who by now, was already sobbing from shock. “And you, little lady! You know better than to chase after a timberwolf by yourself! Why didn’t you stay with Big Mac?”

Apple Bloom looked up at her with watering eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. “I’m sorry! I just wanted to help Stephen!”

Applejack dropped down and hugged her sister close. Stephen caught a glimpse of Applejack fighting to keep her composure before she turned her head down, letting her hat cover her face. Apple Bloom buried her face into Applejack’s belly and muffled her sobs. “Now calm down, Apple Bloom. It’s alright now. You’re just fine, ya hear?” Applejack repeated while petting her sister’s mane.

“Your heart was in the right place,” said Big Mac. “But if you’re helping Stephen, who’s helping you?”

“I should’ve done something,” Stephen muttered to himself.

There was a moment of silence as all eyes turned to Stephen. That statement wasn't intended to be heard. But they heard it, nonetheless. Apple Bloom dried her tears with her foreleg. Applejack shot up to her feet and stormed over to Stephen. “You’re darn-tootin’ you shoulda’ done somethin’!” Applejack put her face right against Stephen's and shoved his head to the ground. “You saw that hungry hunk of sticks comin’ at my sister and ya stood there like a lump on a log!” Applejack’s voice started to crack and her eyes were welling up again. “What if something happened to her?”

If I had a younger sister I wouldn’t have taken her out to chase wolves in the first place, Stephen thought to himself. He chose not to vocalize it. Applejack was already quite upset and he didn’t want to risk being on the receiving end of what she did to that timberwolf. So he settled on, “I just didn’t know what to do.”

Applejack’s eyes went wide. She stopped pinning Stephen’s face and straightened her neck. Stephen could practically hear the gears turning in her head. “You’re not from around here,” she reminded herself. “I shoulda’ stayed back to make sure ya’ll didn’t get separated.” Her voice was quiet and sincere. She looked back over at Apple Bloom, who was back on her feet with dry eyes. If anything, she looked concerned for Applejack. Applejack sighed and lowered her head. “It’s over now. Let’s just go inside, everypony.” With that, Applejack trudged towards the house. Winona followed by her side.

As Stephen got to his feet, Apple Bloom called his attention with a tap on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I got you in trouble, Stephen.”

Why would she apologize to the man who was about to watch her get eaten? “No, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

Apple Bloom smiled at him. “Aw that’s alright! My big sis is always there to help me out of a pickle. You should come inside. Granny Smith’s got a big heapin’ victory dinner waiting for us.”

Stephen watched Apple Bloom scamper towards the house. When he looked back up, he was met with Big Mac’s gaze. What kind of wrath would the older brother have for him? Stephen prepared himself for the worst. Instead, Big Mac simply nodded and trotted away. With a heavy heart, Stephen followed suit.

The food was delicious. There was no denying that. Stephen had never tasted fresh, homemade apple pastries before. But he couldn’t shake the guilt of freezing up. Mentally replaying the situation on loop, he counted all of the missed opportunities to protect Apple Bloom. Though he still wasn’t sure what he would have done, he was still guilty with the knowledge that he should have done something.

What if this hadn’t been a dream? Indeed, the timberwolves were frightening. But this was a dream, for goodness’ sake! He probably could have taken them on if he put his mind to it. But if he freezes up so badly when he’s dreaming, there’s no way he would have fared any better in the real world.

Dawn was breaking over the eastern horizon as they finished their feast. Once the light of day was clear, Stephen thanked Granny Smith for everything and began walking back towards the library. He got to the end of Sweet Apple Acres’ driveway when he heard Applejack calling him. Turning around, he saw her halfway down the driveway and galloping towards him at full speed. “Wait up!” It didn’t take her long to clear the remaining distance.

“What’s up?” Stephen asked.

“I wanted to come down and see ya off. You weren’t ‘bout to head out without sayin’ ‘goodbye’ were ya?”

“I figured you wouldn’t want to talk to me after what I did.” There was a long, awkward silence between them. Stephen could tell Applejack was trying to think of something to say. But Stephen beat her to it. “Look, Applejack, I’m really sorry. I don’t think I can emphasize enough how sorry I am. All I can say is that I’ve never been in any kind of fight before, I’ve never been able to get close to wild animals before and I’ve never seen anything like a timberwolf before. I’m not brave and I’m not cut out for this stuff. I didn’t know what to do so I froze up. I know that was lousy of me and I feel terrible about it. So again, I’m sorry and all I can do is hope you’ll forgive me.”

Applejack took a moment to think. “Well…Apple Bloom didn’t get hurt. So I can’t be mad at ya.” After taking another moment, she continued. “I’m sorry too. I shoulda’ stayed with you instead of tellin’ ya’ll to stay close to me.”

“But you still managed to come and save me. It’s just like you said; what if something happened to Apple Bloom because I couldn’t do anything to help?”

“Now I know not everypony is born brave. But if you wanna be brave, ya gotta know that real courage is something that you get from a desire to help those you care about, even if it’s tough or frightenin’.” With everything she said being true, Stephen had nothing left to say for himself. Dejectedly, he looked away, only for Applejack to bring his eyes back up to hers with a hoof. “Now don’t you fret,” she said. “Just keep that in mind and you’ll do better next time.”

“Hopefully there won’t be a next time. Last night was the craziest thing ever!” said Stephen.

Applejack laughed at that sentiment. “Boy howdy! You really haven’t been around here very long, have you?”

Stephen’s eyes got wide. “Last night wasn’t the craziest thing that ever happened to you?”

“Not by a long shot, sugarcube,” Applejack chuckled. Stephen didn’t even want to try to imagine what could be worse than timberwolves. If this was a lucid dream, it might actually happen and he couldn't handle any more excitement for a while. “Twilight says you usually disappear around this time in the morning,” said Applejack. “You going to be off soon?”

“If it wasn't the weekend my alarm would have already woken me up," said Stephen. "So I guess I’ll be out of here whenever my body decides to wake up.”

“You comin’ back later?”

“I’m not sure,” said Stephen. “I still don’t know what to think of all this.”

“Well if you come back, we’ll find something to do with our friends that’s a little more your speed. What do ya say?”

“I could look forward to that,” Stephen said with a smile. “I’m going to go find a place to hang out and rest a little before I wake up. Thank you for everything.”

“Any time, partner!” Applejack smiled and tipped her hat at Stephen.

With a goodbye wave, Stephen walked off the orchard and started making his way towards the library.

Miracle Pill

Loud pounding and shaking walls brought Stephen to consciousness in his bed. Who, in their right mind, blasts a subwoofer at full volume while driving down the street on Saturday morning? The inconsiderate man’s bass was cranked up so loud that Stephen’s house rattled as he passed by. Once it passed, Stephen lay in his bed and enjoyed the otherwise quiet morning.

He wanted to stay in his bed forever. Being on his third consecutive day of whatever this was, lying in bed was good mental rest if nothing else. But there was cause for optimism as today was the day it all gets fixed. Peering over to the clock, he saw he had three hours until his appointment with the sleep specialist. Not needing to be anywhere anytime soon, he remained in bed. Even with the sun coming through his bedroom windows, the room gradually heating up and the bed slowly getting uncomfortable; Stephen remained in bed and let himself rest.

After over an hour-and-a-half of good relaxation, Stephen decided it was time to get ready. Today was slightly better in a sense of not necessarily feeling his exhaustion. Either he was getting used to it or the nap he took before getting out of bed had slightly refreshed him. However, despite feeling awake, he also felt like a tortoise as his movements were noticeably slower than usual.

This continued through making breakfast. Stephen decided to make himself an extra large breakfast this morning when he remembered something one of his friends in the military had told him. They tell you to get at least three hours of sleep. If you cannot get three hours of sleep, stay awake and eat every two hours. This was going to be Stephen’s plan until he got everything straightened out. On the way to the doctors’ office, he heard an advertisement on the radio for Five Hour Energy and considered adding that to his new regiment as well.

On his way to the appointment, Stephen’s phone rang with Selena on the other end. “Hello?” Stephen spoke slightly slower than normal.

“Hey, Stephen!” Selena was at her usual energy level. “You sound drowsy today. Are you alright?”

“Still exhausted, I guess,” Stephen tried to make himself talk normal.

“That’s no good!” Selena proclaimed.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m on my way to the doctors’ office so it’ll all be over soon. Did you need something while I’m out?”

“Not really. I just wanted to see if you were down for more Portal today.”

“I would love that. You can come over as soon as I get home form my appointment.”

“What time is that?”

“Let’s say four o’clock to be safe.”

“Oh, okay,” said Selena. “Did you sleep alright last night?”

“I might have,” said Stephen. “But I’m still having those blasted dreams.”

“Stephen,” concern raised in Selena’s voice. “You’re beginning to worry me with these dreams of yours. Are you going to be okay?”

“We’ll find out today, won’t we?”

“If it’s the dreams that are causing you so much trouble, shouldn’t you be seeing a psychologist instead of a sleep specialist?” Selena asked.

Was she suggesting that Stephen wasn’t mentally sound? “I’m not crazy, Selena. I know that much.” Stephen caught a very slight undertone of anger in his voice and instantly regretted it.

“Okay, sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s alright, Selena. I didn’t mean to get testy. Don’t worry though. I’ll have all this fixed soon.”

“Do you promise?” Selena’s voice sounded like she was trying to do puppy-dog eyes over the phone.

“Yes, Selena, I promise. Within the next four days I’ll have it all figured out,” Stephen said, remembering the promise he made with Twilight Sparkle.

“Do you pinkie promise?”

Stephen chuckled. “I’m not there to actually lock pinkies with you, but yes.”

“Hmm,” Selena paused for a moment. “That’ll have to do for now. I’ll get a real pinkie promise later. Have fun at the doctors’ office! I love you!”

“I love you too, Selena. Bye.” Stephen hung up his phone and pulled into the medical district’s parking lot.

Stephen waited in the office for only a couple of minutes before the specialist appeared. The doctor introduced himself as Viknesh before having a seat across from Stephen and looking over his clipboard. “This says you’ve been having troubles sleeping for about three days now,” he said with a small smile. “I’m glad you came to me so soon. Usually people wait weeks or longer before seeking help and by then the problem has usually gotten worse.”

“I’ve got my annual reviews coming up at work. If I get a good review I’ll get a pay raise and maybe a promotion. So I can’t take any chances of having whatever this is affect me at work.”

“That’s good then. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s the strangest thing. Whenever I go to sleep, I start having these weird dreams. When I wake up, I don’t feel like I’ve slept at all.”

“What kind of dreams?”

Stephen shifted in his chair. “Does it matter?”

“It might,” said Viknesh.

Stephen averted his eyes. “I’m in a world of different types of ponies that can fly and do magic,” Stephen blurted in a way he’d hoped Viknesh wouldn’t hear. Stephen peered up at Viknesh and waited for a reaction. But the doctor simply nodded his head as he scribbled something onto his clipboard. It was probably something about how absurd Stephen’s statement was.

“While you’re asleep, are you aware that you’re dreaming?”

“When you open your eyes and you’re suddenly a dark red pony with big, blue eyes, it’s kind of hard to not know that you’re dreaming.”

“Have you tried waking yourself up?”

“I have, but it didn’t work. It took my alarm going off to wake me up.”

“Then you don’t feel like you’ve slept?”

“Yeah, I feel just like I did back in community college when I had to pull all-nighters. Oh! Then two nights ago, I took a beating in the dream. When I woke up, I was covered in bruises.”

Viknesh stopped taking notes and looked up from his clipboard with a raised eyebrow. “Bruises? May I see?” Stephen stood and ran his hand over his torso. After Stephen found a sore spot on his stomach, he raised his shirt, showing Viknesh the bruise. The doctor wheeled himself forward to examine it closer. The splotch was slightly faded from having been there for two days. But it looked almost five inches in diameter. A light touch was all it took to illicit a painful squeak from Stephen. “Have you been putting this on ice?” Viknesh asked.

Stephen thought for a moment. “Nope, but that’s something I should be doing, isn’t it?”

Viknesh smirked and nodded his head. “Is it just this one bruise?” he asked.

“I’ve counted four on my front that I can feel and I know there’s a few on my back. There might be others that I can’t see.”

“Do you think you’ve been sleepwalking?”

“I don’t think so.”

“But do you know so?”

“The night before I woke up with these bruises, I fell asleep in an awkward position with my girlfriend lying on top of me. When I woke up, we were still in the same position.”

“Perhaps you moved, bumped into a few things and then came back to where you were?”

“It’s possible, I guess.” Stephen lowered his shirt and sat back down. “Selena’s a sound sleeper but she’s not a rock. I would think she would have noticed if I moved her like that.”

Viknesh stroked his chin. “You might be right but let’s not rule out the possibility of sleepwalking yet. What position were you and your girlfriend sleeping in?”

“It was kind of like this,” Stephen backed up against the wall. He leaned his head, neck and shoulders against it with the rest of his body at about a forty-five degree angle to the wall. “My head and shoulders were up on the headboard and the rest of me was flat on the bed. Selena was on my stomach with her arms around me.”

Viknesh raised an eyebrow at Stephen. “That’s certainly not a healthy position for your back or neck. But I don’t think it could bruise you so badly.”

“But if that’s not it, what else could it be?”

“It could be any number of things,” said Viknesh. He took out a thin piece of paper and started writing on it. “Sleep Apnea, lucid dreaming or sleepwalking are the first possibilities that come to mind. I’m going to start you off on a prescription of sleeping pills and see if that works. I suggest taking a notebook and writing down the dates, what time you go to bed, what time you wake up, what you dream about and how rested you feel.

“If that doesn’t work, we’ll get you back here for a night of observation. That could help us narrow it down quite a bit.” Viknesh wheeled his chair to the other side of the room to grab a business card from a stack. “Try seeing a psychiatrist as well,” Viknesh handed the card to Stephen.

Stephen took the card and looked it over. “Why do I need a psychiatrist?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“She’ll be able to figure out if you have a chemical imbalance in your brain or if there’s something going on in your mind. It’s worth looking into.”

“All of this sounds like a bit much. Is any of this going to affect me at work?”

“Not any more than leaving this alone would affect you.”

“Okay, but how about cost? I don’t think my insurance plan covers specialist visits or things like what you suggested.”

“I’m sure we can find a way around it,” Viknesh reassured. “It’ll take a couple weeks to get everything set up. We’ll call you in a few days with some possible appointment times. Until then, maybe the sleeping pills will help you enough. You can always cancel the appointments if this works itself out.”

In a couple of weeks, the employee reviews would be over. Stephen had really hoped all this would be fixed before then. But it was looking like he would just have to tough it out and hold himself together until the reviews were over. “That sounds like a plan.”

“That’s good then,” said Viknesh. He then took a few minutes to tell Stephen about all the different treatment options they could take after the different tests had been done. Once Viknesh was done explaining everything, they stood and shook each other’s hands. “The receptionist outside will get you set up and we’ll be in touch.” Doctor Viknesh handed Stephen his prescription and Stephen saw his way out.

After finishing up some paperwork with the receptionist, Stephen left the office in an odd mood. He had gone in with high hopes and was looking forward to getting this taken care of as soon as possible. Now he was only more confused at the number of possibilities. But he should have known better than to expect an immediate diagnosis and treatment plan in the first place. Stephen’s best hope now was on the off chance his miracle pill would come in the literal form of this prescription. On that sliver of hope, Stephen filled his prescription and bought himself lunch.

Stephen got himself home as quickly as he could and called Selena to come over. When she arrived, Stephen vented his frustration and confusion to her. She was doing her best to offer help, but Stephen could tell by her growing concern that she had no idea what to do.

“What do you think about that?” Stephen asked her a couple of times during his venting. She would stare at him like a deer in the headlights for a long, awkward moment before offering some vague advices. Like Stephen against the timberwolves, Selena didn’t know how to help people like this. Even though that had been a dream, Stephen still remembered what that felt like. Watching in helplessness was a lousy feeling on multiple levels and Selena was likely experiencing something similar now. Stephen decided that she shouldn’t have to go through that if he could avoid it. So he dropped the subject. After a hug, a kiss and a proper pinkie promise that he’d be alright, they booted up the console.

Portal 2’s cooperative mode helped them forget about their worries. For a couple of hours, they laughed and played just like the day before. But after those couple hours had passed, Stephen’s exhaustion started taking its toll again. His mind didn’t seem to want to maintain any train of though, ending them abruptly and leaving him in mental blankness. This resulted in several consecutive mistakes and an increasing requirement of trial and error during the game. The challenges kept getting more and more difficult. Under normal circumstances, that wouldn’t have been the frustrating part. The frustrating part was Stephen being aware that the increased difficulty was all in his head.

Selena spoke up when Stephen needed to pause the game to relieve his frustration. “Maybe we should take a break and make dinner.”

With a nod, Stephen shut down their game and they raided the refrigerator. Although he had plenty of groceries stored away, he couldn’t decide what he wanted to make in this state of mind. In fact, he didn’t have enough energy or motivation to make anything. So Selena made the decision for them by grabbing items at random. She came out with waffles and a variety of soup cans - a combination which Stephen found hilarious.

Now that he wasn’t trying to think so hard, Stephen could relax. He found himself laughing at the way Selena pretended to be on a cooking show as she mixed the Italian wedding, chicken noodle and beef stew together in a large bowl. But she could only keep that bit going for a minute before breaking down into laugher herself. Her laughter only made Stephen laugh even harder. Once they recovered, he felt much better and used the sudden burst of energy to complete the previously arduous task of dropping the waffles into the toaster. Once they popped up, Stephen set the table and Selena served their concoction.

To Stephen’s surprise, the Italian-beef-chicken-stew-noodle-soup-abomination (as Selena called it) was a tasty combination. The out of place factor in this equation was the waffles and syrup. Inspired by Selena’s spontaneity, Stephen took action. “These waffles need something different!” Stephen cried out as energetically as he could.

“What’s that?” Selena asked as Stephen grabbed a pair of waffles out of the toaster and threw them onto his plate. Then he proceeded to douse them with hot sauce. “You’re a lunatic!” she shouted in between peals of laughter.

“You’ve known me long enough to know I’ll put hot sauce on anything.” Stephen bit off a chunk of a waffle and immediately regretted this decision. It was true, he did like hot sauce on many-a-different foods. Waffles, however, were a bad idea. He swallowed it in an attempt to look tough. But he knew he hadn't fooled Selena when she burst into such laughter that she fell from her chair.

After having shared a good laugh and finished their meal, it was time to clean up dinner and the kitchen. It was almost eight at night when they finished and Selena asked, “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“I have to start my prescription tonight,” Stephen replied. “I have no idea how it’ll affect me. We can pop one in if you want but I can’t promise I’ll be awake the whole time.”

“That’s alright,” said Selena, wrapping her arms around him. “This really stinks though. I’m starting to lose time with you over this thing. I don’t like it.”

Stephen sighed. “Believe me, I like it about as much as you do.” With that, Stephen and Selena went in the living room. Once Selena had picked a movie, Stephen put it in the DVD player and went to get a dosage of his prescription. As the movie started, he sat next to Selena. “Here’s hoping this works,” he said just before downing the pills. “Are you planning on staying here tonight?”

“Yes, but I have to work in the morning. So I won’t be here when you wake up. I’ll leave you some breakfast though.”

“What would I do without you?” Stephen asked, kissing Selena on the cheek.

“You’d probably go crazy and do something stupid,” Selena chuckled.

Stephen laid back on his couch and pulled Selena closer to his chest. “You’re probably right.” Stephen enjoyed the first forty minutes of the movie before passing out with Selena in his arms.

Stephen opened his eyes to a dark town of Ponyville. Nothing had changed on this front. But perhaps he’ll at least wake up feeling rested. Standing up, he shook some sleepiness out of his head. While trying to regain his bearings on where he was, he heard Twilight’s voice call him. “Is that you, Stephen?”

Turning around, he met three moonlit silhouettes. One of them was definitely spike, the other two looked like ponies wearing saddlebags. Twilight’s horn lit up and provided them some better light. The pony next to her had a white coat, dark purple mane and a horn on her head. “Hey, everyone,” said Stephen. “What’s up?”

“Twilight,” the white pony spoke up with a very feminine voice. “Is this the stallion you were telling me about today?”

“Oh yes,” Twilight replied. “Stephen, this is my friend, Rarity. Rarity, this is Stephen.” Rarity? Stephen had heard this name before but he couldn’t instantly remember where.

Rarity held out a hoof to Stephen. “Pleasure to meet you, Stephen.”

The posh tone in her voice prompted Stephen to respond formally. “The pleasure is mine,” Stephen remembered his mother’s etiquette drills as he shook Rarity’s hoof. “What are you two up to?”

“Twilight and Spike had errands to run in the same direction as me today. So I decided to tag along as extra company.”

“I really can’t wait to get back to the library,” said Twilight. “I’ve been carrying around these books all day.”

“Is that the book you were talking about a couple nights ago?” Stephen asked. “The one that you only had the abridged version of?”

“One of them is. But then I saw a newspaper article about something called the Stone of Sisyphus getting stolen from the Cloudsdale Museum at the beginning of this week. None of the books in my library could tell me anything about it so I ordered a few that might.”

“I remember seeing that article when we were doing research together,” said Stephen. “It sounds like you’ve got your reading cut out for you.”

“Starswirl’s guide on advanced teleportation alone is going to take me a couple of days to study. I can see why there’s abridged versions of it.”

“I’m told you spent last night on the farm with Applejack,” said Rarity. “How did that go?”

Stephen’s heart sank as he remembered the previous night. Dropping his eyes from Rarity's, he said, “Let’s just say that I learned a lot.”

“Yes, well, the rough and tumble nature of farm work can do that to a pony,” said Rarity. “Did you have any plans made for tonight?”

“Not yet,” Stephen replied.

“Well I’ve got a commission deadline coming up and I could certainly use some help in my shop tonight. Would you be willing to give a lady a helping hoof?” Rarity asked with a smile and big eyes.

“What exactly do you do?” he asked, a little standoffish from remembering what happened when he agreed to help Applejack.

“I’m a seamstress, darling. I make and sell dresses at the Carousel Boutique here in town.”

“Ponies wear clothes?” Stephen blurted without thinking.

Rarity gasped and stepped back. “Why of course we do! Whatever gave you the impression that we didn’t?”

“I’m sorry, but ponies don’t wear clothes where I come from and I haven’t seen any clothing since I got here.”

“We don’t normally wear clothes,” said Twilight. “But sometimes we dress up for formal events. Rarity here makes some of the best dresses in Equestria.”

“I’ve never sewn before. Are you sure I’ll be of any help?” Stephen asked.

“Nonsense, Stephen,” said Rarity. “I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”

“I’ve heard that before,” said Stephen.

“Wait,” said Spike. “Don’t you want my help too?”

Rarity perked up. “Of course!” she said, excitedly. “Another set of hands would be lovely, Spike. Thank you for offering.”

Spike turned over to Twilight. “Twilight, is it okay if I help Rarity too?”

Spike speaking Rarity’s name jogged Stephen’s memory as to where he had heard her name before. When Stephen met Spike the day before, Spike was pretending to address a love interest while flexing in front of a mirror. This was the Rarity he was referring to? If so, there was literally no part of this that made sense to Stephen. A dragon with a crush on a pony gets jealous when she asks another pony for help and possibly sees the other pony as a romantic competitor, which isn’t even possible considering the two ponies just now met each other.

Stephen knew better than to try to make sense of any of this. He had been reminding himself to play along for three nights in a row now. On the other hand, Stephen could only handle so much absurdity and could feel himself approaching the straw that would break the horse’s back. So he looked to Twilight in hopes that she’d have an answer for any of this.

Twilight spoke up before Stephen had a chance to ask any of his questions. “Spike, you usually have trouble staying up late. Do you really think you’ll be able to keep up with Stephen and Rarity all night?”

Stephen decided against asking any questions when he saw Twilight treat the situation like it was normal. He’d just have to tough it out and play along some more. “At this point, it won’t be too difficult to keep up with me,” Stephen interjected with a yawn.

“Exactly,” said Spike. “If he can do it then I’m sure I can too.”

“That’s not necessarily what I meant,” Stephen muttered to himself.

“Alright, Spike. You can go help Rarity if you want.”

“Well then, everypony,” said Rarity. “It seems we all have our work cut out for us tonight. Let’s get started, shall we?”

As Rarity trotted off, Spike moved to follow her but was stopped by Twilight grabbing his tail, nearly causing him to trip. “Hey! What did you do that for?” he asked.

Twilight lowered her head to make level eye contact with Spike. “You’d better behave yourself.”

Spike shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll be just fine.” With that, Spike skipped off and called back, “See you tomorrow, Twilight!”

Unsure of what he just witnessed, Stephen looked over to Twilight, who was breathing a frustrated sigh. “Is he always like that?” Stephen asked.

“He’s usually a really good helper but sometimes he gets competitive and bites off more than he can chew.”

“He’s just like a little kid, isn’t he? I don’t think it’ll be a big deal.” Stephen tried to reassure Twilight.

“I hope so. Let me know if he causes any trouble, okay?”

Stephen nodded at Twilight. After bidding each other a good night, Stephen turned around and ran to catch up with Rarity and Spike.

A Night In A Carousel

After about five minutes of walking, Stephen, Spike and Rarity came to the doorstep of a large and vaguely carousel-shaped building. “Welcome to my abode, Stephen,” said Rarity as she pushed open her door.

At first it was dark. A blue glow appeared around Rarity’s horn and several lanterns lit up around the room, revealing a wide open and spotless dress shop with gleaming white tile floors. Highly decorated pink walls and white ceiling bounced all the light from the lanterns and illuminated the entire room as bright as day. Numerous dresses dangled from hangers and across several racks on either side of the room. “This is a nice place,” said Stephen.

“This is the store front of my business,” said Rarity. “Follow me if you will.” She continued to walk through the store with Spike close to her side. Stephen employed his peripheral vision to follow them as he looked over the many brightly colored clothes, some of which sparkled from what appeared to be various rhinestones that were sewn into them.

Stephen followed Rarity and Spike behind the back wall of the store, leading into a large but simple kitchen with a predominately blue color scheme. Through an archway in the back of the kitchen was a flight of stairs. The last time Stephen tried to climb Equestrian stairs was two nights ago. It wasn’t easy then and it wasn’t likely going to be any easier now. Getting four legs and inverted knees to work together was already difficult enough to make him clumsy in this body. But when Stephen saw Rarity effortlessly prance up the stairs, he assumed it was just something that had to be learned and practiced.

Spike wasn’t far behind Rarity. But when he got about halfway up the staircase, he turned around to face Stephen. “What’s the matter, Stephen?” Spike asked.

Stephen responded by thinking out loud. “My mind is playing tricks on me. All I have to do is lift my legs up and put them down.”

“Still convinced this isn’t real, huh?” Spiked asked.

“I still got a few days before my bet with Twilight comes to fruition.” Stephen said, putting his left front hoof on the first step. With a nervous breath, he put his other front hoof on the second step. Then his back left hoof on the first step. He knew that this wasn’t the correct order when he tipped over to his left and leaned against the wall. He put the back left hoof back on the floor and tried the back right hoof on the first step. His balance maintained and now he knew what the correct four-legged walking pattern was for stairs. Now all he had to do was remember it.

Spike came down the steps. “If this isn’t real, then you probably wouldn’t feel this.” Spike wet a claw in his mouth.

“Don’t you dare- Aah!” Stephen yelped and tipped over when Spike stuck the claw right into Stephen’s ear, giving him the sharpest wet-willie he’d ever experienced.

“I didn’t think you could feel a wet-willie in your dreams,” Spike giggled.

Getting to his feet, Stephen opened his mouth to retort, only to realize that he didn’t know what to say. With no real knowledge or previous experience, he had no precedence for which to base any assumptions. So he settled on, “Sometimes.”

“Can you feel this?” Spike asked and tickled Stephen’s side.

Stephen snorted, cringed and fell over. Stephen’s ability to focus had been waning as-is and he could no longer afford the patience to deal with a jealous-mischievous dragon. Stephen stopped himself from giggling just long enough to angrily shout. “Yes, I feel it! Now quit that so I can focus on climbing these stairs!”

Spike started laughing but stopped when Rarity’s voice chimed from the top of the stairs. “Spike, would you come here please?”

“Coming, Rarity!” Spike skipped up the stairs all too enthusiastically.

Stephen sighed out both relief and contempt. He didn’t want Spike impeding his efforts anymore. But still, Spike could have helped him up the stairs. But apparently it was more important that he get to Rarity before Stephen.

About halfway up the stairs, Stephen finally got the rhythm of his legs running smoothly and the second half of the climb wasn’t nearly as difficult. However, that didn’t make the ordeal as a whole any less taxing. When he got to the top, he had to sit down and catch his breath.

“Are you alright?” Rarity asked.

“I’m just a little tired,” Stephen replied.

“Be sure to let me know if you need anything then. Anyway, welcome to my inspiration room. This is where the magic happens.”

Examinging the room, he found Spike was in the process of setting up a sewing machine atop a fabric-littered workbench. The rest of the room was just as large as the kitchen but not nearly as tidy as the rest of the house. There was a writing desk with papers and drawings littering not only the surface but also the floor around it. Pencils, measuring tapes, ribbons, glitter, fabrics, tools, everything a seamstress might need was covering every flat surface. “It certainly looks like everything has its spot,” said Stephen.

“I call it ‘organized chaos’,” Rarity replied with a smile. Stephen noticed in the middle of the left wall, there was a large bed with bright red comforters that were covered in lace and sewn with very elaborate designs. Silk and lace throw pillows decorated the base of its headboard. A sleeping cat lay curled up and sunken into one of the pillows, confirming to Stephen that the bed was as comfortable as it looked. Stephen’s head started getting light and his vision blurred. He wondered if it was possible to fall asleep while already dreaming and was about to try when Rarity tapped him on the shoulder. “Oh my, you don’t look well at all,” she said, looking him over. “Spike, please fetch us some tea for tonight.”

“Coming right up!” Spike said before sprinting back downstairs.

Rarity prompted Stephen to get to his feet by sticking her head under his neck and lightly pushing up. Once upright, she made sure he was stable and asked, “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me,” said Stephen.

“If you insist,” Rarity said with a dash of concern in her voice. “Well, when you’re ready, please join me at the sewing table.” Turning around, Rarity walked towards the workbench with the assorted fabrics.

Stephen followed suit. “What type of dress are you making tonight?” he asked.

Rarity’s mood shifted slightly. “It’s a wedding dress for a local bride-to-be,” she said with a sigh.

Rarity continued talking but Stephen lost his focus and zoned out. He shook himself back to his senses when he noticed Rarity waving a hoof in front of his face. “Huh?”

“You know it’s rude to ignore someone while they’re talking to you,” said Rarity.

“I’m sorry,” said Stephen. “Since I’ve been having these dreams, I wake up feeling like I haven’t slept. Imagine doing that four days in a row.”

“I’ll let it slide since you’re tired but do try to stay focused. Spike should be up soon. Tea always helps me when I’m pulling all-nighters.”

Stephen shook sleepiness out of his head once more. “That’s good then.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather lie down?” Rarity pointed a hoof at her obscenely comfortable looking bed. “Spike is usually a great help by himself.”

“That’s generous of you but I don’t want to be dead weight. Let's see what your tea does for me first.”

“I admire your tenacity but I’ll be sure to go easy on you nonetheless.” Rarity’s horn started glowing and the fabrics started organizing themselves about the table. “What I was saying before is that once the dress is done I’ll only need to make minor adjustments here and there. So we’re getting the hard part out of the way tonight.” Spike came into the room holding a platter with a teapot and three small cups. “Thank you, Spike. See to it our guest gets some and then finish preparing the sewing machine.”

“On it,” said Spike. After Rarity stepped away, Spike glared at Stephen while pouring the tea into the three cups and setting one down in front of him. “I’m watching you,” he said before making his way to the workbench.

Sitting down, Stephen momentarily fumbled with the cup around his hooves before figuring out how to bend his front legs and press the cup in between them. Now that he could hold onto it, it was time for a sip. Although slightly too hot, the black tea was tasty and brought a small energetic kick to his stomach. Stephen watched Spike and Rarity work for a few minutes until the tea fully hit his system, bringing a burst of energy with it. Getting back to his feet, he moved to the workbench and asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Actually, yes,” said Rarity. “Could you be a dear and gently pull on the other end of this dress as I feed it through the machine?” Rarity put her hooves up on the fabric as Stephen walked to the other side of the table. “Are you ready, Spike?”

As Spike finished adjusting the sewing machine, he gave a thumbs up and called out, “Ready!”

“Are you ready, Stephen?” Rarity asked. Stephen put one of his hooves on the fabric. He was about to call ‘ready’ when Rarity piped up. “No, no, no. You’ll never be able to pull it like that.”

Stephen thought about it for a moment. What Rarity said was true. Without thumbs how was he going to pull the fabric? But if he couldn’t do it with thumbs, the only other thing he could think to do was to grab it with his teeth. But was that a good idea? He looked at Rarity with curiosity before glancing back at the fabric. Slowly, he lowered his head and opened his mouth towards it. Rarity nodded approvingly. “Okay, ready,” said Stephen.

“Fabulous!” Rarity’s horn glowed. The sewing machine started up. Stephen gripped the fabric in his mouth and pulled. Rarity shrieked and stopped the machine. “Not so fast! You’ll break the pattern!” Rarity said with a tone of disappointment. The fabric started glowing and the few stitches they had put in came undone. Spike immediately came over and reset the machine. “Go slower and pull perfectly straight.”

“Got it,” Stephen said confidently. Gripping the fabric again, he gave a gentle tug. “Like this?” he muttered through his teeth.

“Not quite. Lower, make it more straight.” Stephen responded by adjusting himself. “More please,” Rarity’s instructions were vague, but not the worst he ever dealt with. He glared at the dress and lowered it even more. “Looking for perfection here,” said Rarity with a concerned tone. Determined to get it right, he focused in on the fabric as best he could and noticed there were some wrinkles where he was pulling. Spike giggled at him as he struggled to straighten the fabric. “Don’t be rude, Spike. Stephen is learning.”

Spike scowled at Stephen, who ignored him and adjusted his grip on the fabric again. “How’s this?”

“Closer but not quite,” said Rarity. Spike laughed at Stephen again, earning a scolding glare from Rarity. Spike immediately sent the same glare to Stephen; silently implying this was somehow his fault. Stephen would have taken issue with Spike’s vengeful glare but Rarity’s dress was becoming like a customer service call. He barely had energy or patience enough to deal with work or the characters he worked with while he was awake, much less while dreaming.

Feeling his exhaustion and stress return at the same time, he suppressed the frustration and turned to Rarity. “May I have some more tea, please?”

“Certainly, Stephen,” Rarity said as the teapot and his cup levitated to the work station.

After being served, Stephen sat down and clasped the cup in between his hooves. Drinking it down, he relaxed enough for a thought to enter his mind. “Spike has thumbs. Wouldn’t it be easier if he led the fabric?”

“Yeah, you should let Rarity and I do this alone,” said Spike. “Your clumsiness is slowing us up.”

“Spike!” Rarity snipped. “You’re being rude again.” After Rarity’s scolding, Spike shrank in his place.

“Yeah, Spike,” said Stephen. “I’m still learning, remember?”

Rarity turned to Stephen, “Never mind him. He’s not accustomed to staying up late either.” Rarity turned around and refilled Stephen’s tea. Spike glared at him while her back was turned. That wasn’t the glare of someone who was tired. That was the glare of someone who just had his girlfriend stolen. Stephen continued to ignore it in hopes that Spike would realize that he had no ulterior motives for Rarity and stop messing with him.

Stephen gulped down his tea again. “Let’s try this again,” he said, feeling slightly more energized.

“This will go by fast if Spike sets up the machine, I watch the pattern while operating the machine and you guide the fabric, Stephen,” said Rarity. “But in order for it to work we must be harmonious with each other. Alright, gentlecolts?” Spike looked over at Stephen, jealousy still in his eyes. Stephen shot back with a squinting glare of irritation. Then they both turned to Rarity with resigned, yet sincere expressions and nodded in agreement. “Wonderful! Now Stephen, if you’re feeling well enough, can you grab the dress please?”

Stephen gripped the dress again and gently pulled it down. “Like this?” he muttered through his teeth.

Rarity sighed. “Close, but now you’re pulling too low.”

Stephen heard Spike mutter to himself. “Wow, dude. You really stink at this.”

“Allow me to assist.” Rarity set all fours on the floor and trotted over to the other side of the table. After positioning herself perpendicular to Stephen’s body, she hopped two hooves over his shoulders. Stephen almost made a comment on personal space but he realized that this was a very proper and professional-mannered pony that would only get this close if necessary. However, Stephen could tell by Spike's leer of jealous rage that he had not yet figured this out. “Grip the fabric, please,” Rarity asked. Stephen obliged and bit the dress. Rarity used her hooves to push Stephen’s head into position. “Can you hold your head here?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Stephen muttered.

“Good,” Rarity said as she hopped off his shoulders. Bending her head down, she lightly pressed against Stephen's chest. “When you see the machine start I want you to pull with just this much pressure,” she nudged against his body again to simulate how she wanted him to pull.

Stephen didn’t even need to look up. He could feel the heat emanating from Spike’s eyes. “Got it,” he muttered.

“Marvelous!” Rarity beamed with excitement. “Shall we try again?” Before waiting for an answer, Rarity straightened up and went back to the other side of the table. Spike already had the machine ready to go. All it needed was a touch of magic.

The machine came to life. Stephen did exactly as he was told. For ten very long seconds, he tugged the dress through the sewing machine as Rarity supervised each stitch. After those ten seconds of perfect pulling, Stephen’s neck wouldn’t reach back any further without turning up. Desperate to avoid messing up Rarity’s perfect angle, he placed his right rear leg back. While focusing on keeping the dress angle, he forgot the sequence of walking and tripped back onto his hindquarters, releasing the dress. Rarity let out a loud gasp of surprise and brought the machine to a grinding halt. But it was too late. The dress had already gotten a little bundled into itself.

Stephen scrambled to his feet. “I’m so sorry, Rarity! I tripped.”

One of Rarity’s eyes squinted while the other bugged out. Stephen could see her teeth grinding through her contorted lower lip. With a shake of her head, any indication of anger disappeared. “It was an honest mistake, Stephen. No need to worry.” With that, Rarity began untangling the dress.

Stephen was almost relieved when he heard that. “You’re really bad at this. Maybe you should let Rarity and I do this alone and I’ll let you know if we need falling lessons.” Spike chuckled.

That was the quip that Stephen’s exhausted mind needed to snap, glaring the dragon down and raising his voice. “You’re really bad at remembering that I normally have hands and fingers and am much better at using those when I do things.” Stephen advanced on Spike, not breaking eye contact with his angered glare as Spike tried to retreat.

“Gentlecolts,” Rarity begged. “Let’s calm down please.”

Stephen didn’t hear her. “You’re starting to remind me of the half-wits that I work customer-service for, thinking you could even do that job when your short-little head can’t even reach the desired angle.”

“Stephen, let’s not delve into petty insults,” said Rarity.

Again, nobody heard her. “Furthermore, if you think I want to be sleeping on a weekend and dreaming about whatever kind of world this is where I still have the same job of putting up with this type of nonsense, you are deathly mistaken.”

“Stephen, please!” Rarity called out.

Stephen’s raised his voice higher. “I’m having a hard enough time without you constantly antagonizing me because you think I’m going to compromise whatever conceited hopes you had for impressing your crush. So take those insecurities and shove them down your throat so you’ll be less likely to talk. Because I already have a girlfriend and I don’t find Rarity attractive in the first place!”

Stephen embraced the taste of sweet verbal victory. The only thing that could have made this better is if it were Damien giving him the wide-eyed look of speechlessness that Spike was giving him now. But then Spike came onto his tiptoes and peered over Stephen’s shoulder. Stephen was curious as to what had Spike’s attention so suddenly until a light, painful squeak came from behind. Then another slightly more audible squeak was followed by a full-blown whimper. Stephen’s heart sank into his stomach. He felt his pupils shrink inside his eyes as he turned his head around the same way he had turned to meet the timberwolves.

Rarity was standing stiff and still. But her eyes had welled up and her mouth was a quivering frown. She sniffled and stuttered, “Well then,” before closing her eyes and lowering her head. There was a moment's silence before she raised her head back up. Her eyes only opened halfway and she was avoiding looking at either Spike or Stephen. “Now that we’ve gotten that off our chests, can we get back to work, please?”

Rarity turned to face the workbench and started half-heartedly releasing the dress from the sewing machine’s clutches. She seemed lost in thought as she used her teeth and hooves to undo the botched stitching. “Rarity, are you alright?” Stephen asked.

“I’m fine,” she said shortly.

Spike approached the workbench and reached for the machine. “Here, Rarity, let me help you.”

Rarity bent down her head to shove Spike away. “No, Spike. You’ve done quite enough. Take a break for now.” After a minute of awkward silence, Rarity had untangled the dress. She turned around, held her nose in the air and walked across the room with her eyes closed. “There are some things I need from downstairs.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Stephen asked.

“I said I’m fine,” Rarity said plainly as she walked through her bedroom door. Shortly after, it was enveloped in a blue light and slammed itself shut.

There was another awkward silence, which was broken by Spike. “Now look at what you’ve done!”

“Please don’t start again,” said Stephen. “Just apologize to her when she comes back.”

“I’m not apologizing. You’re the one that freaked out after she asked you a bunch of times to calm down.”

“I freaked out because I’m too tired to deal with you picking on me even after she asked you to stop a bunch of times.” Stephen sat down with a sigh. “Look, if nothing else, do it to make Rarity feel better.”

Spike folded his arms with a huff. “Fine.”

Stephen reached out one of his front legs. “Truce?”

After a moment of hesitation, Spike took Stephen’s hoof in his claw and shook it. “Truce.”

“That’s good then.”

After awaiting Rarity's return for a few silent minutes, they decided to leave her room and check on her instead. This time, Spike stayed with Stephen on the steps. By placing a hand on his chest, he kept him from falling forward while Stephen reverse-engineered the method of ascending the staircase. Once they reached the bottom, they ventured through the kitchen and into the boutique. But Rarity was nowhere to be seen. Spike and Stephen looked at each other with concern and confusion before starting a search.

“Rarity?” Spike called out.

“What do you want?” Rarity’s voice called back. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“I might if I could see you,” Spike replied.

Stephen located the source of her voice behind the swinging doors of the boutique’s changing room. “Rarity, you’ve been gone for a little while. Are you sure you’re alright?” Stephen called through the door.

Rarity’s head popped out from behind the doors wit pink and watery eyes. “I told you I was looking for something,” she snipped at Stephen before disappearing behind the doors again.

Spike ran up to the doors. “I’m sorry about what happened, Rarity. Stephen and I are done fighting now. You can come out.”

Rarity burst through the door, knocking Spike to the side. She walked through the boutique with her eyes closed and nose in the air, just like how she left her room. “I can only think of one other time I’ve seen you act so brash towards a pony, Spike, and it’s not anything I’d like to remember.” Spike sat up on the floor, keeping his eyes low. “As for you, Stephen.” Stephen perked up at the mention of his name. Rarity had turned around and was talking towards him. “I said before that I could understand your being exhausted. But Spike is my friend and the way you berated him was uncalled for, even if he was being a little impertinent.”

If Stephen had known Rarity would be offended by his retaliation on Spike, he wouldn’t have shouted at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know that now. It’s nothing to worry about,” she said shortly as she made her way to the other end of the room, where she climbed onto an extravagant red couch. Her face sulked as she laid her head on a pillow.

There was another long, silent pause where Stephen and Spike exchanged confused looks. If she wasn’t upset about their behavior anymore, why was she still sulking? “There’s something else on your mind, isn’t there?” Stephen nervously asked after studying her expression.

“Certainly not,” Rarity tried to lie.

“Then why are you still sulking?” Stephen asked.

“It’s nothing you should concern yourself with,” said Rarity.

“I won’t pry,” said Stephen. “But do you think you can do a good job on this dress if you’re feeling so down?”

“I just need a few minutes to calm down,” said Rarity.

“We said we were sorry,” said Spike. “What else can we do to make you feel better?”

“It’s not something a lady should discuss,”

“But I’m your friend, Rarity. If something’s bothering you I want to help!” said Spike.

Rarity buried her face into her pillow and grunted with frustration. After a moment of mulling it over, she lifted her head to look at Stephen. Her eyes were welling up again. “Stephen called me unattractive during his little tirade.”

“I did what?”

Spike ran over to Rarity and tried to pet her mane. “But I think you’re very pretty.”

Rarity pulled away from Spike’s advance. “No, Stephen’s right! The uncouth behavior of Prince Blueblood may have been one thing but Stephen is a much more down-to-Earth stallion. So why else would he say it if it weren’t true?”

“But that’s not what I said,” Stephen spoke up, moving closer to Rarity. “Even so, why would you think that of yourself just because of me?”

“Why else would everypony in Ponyville except me have a very special somepony for Hearts and Hooves day? When will I get to burst into somepony’s dress shop frantically searching for a wedding gown?” Stephen realized on top of the insult, he also managed to tap into a deep insecurity and smash it with a verbal sledgehammer. Something like that usually takes concentrated and deliberate effort, making this an extraordinary failure. “I should just accept my fate of growing older and uglier in this lonely boutique as I watch all of Ponyville find love without me! At least business will be steady with all the wedding dresses I’ll be making.”

Stephen was at a complete loss for words. He could try to clarify his original thoughts. But how often did that work even in real life? He could try and take back what he said. Would she hear it? If there were any hope to save the night, he would have to try. “Look, Rarity, I didn’t mean what I said.”

Rarity looked at Stephen with a stern expression. “What else could you possibly have meant?”

After taking a moment, Stephen continued, “I just needed Spike to realize that I’m taken and only see you as a friend. But I lost my temper and didn’t consider my wording. I’m really sorry and I’m sure that you’re a very pretty pony. Did Twilight tell you about me?”

“She told me you’re from somewhere far away and that you’re not really a pony.”

“Exactly, I’m a human who’s attracted to other humans. So it’s not at all that you’re unattractive.” Another thought passed through Stephen’s mind as he said that. Leaning close to Rarity’s ear, he jokingly whispered, “Although I understand if that doesn’t make sense. Is it normal for dragons to be attracted to ponies in this world? It baffles me.”

Rarity perked up. Covering her mouth with a foreleg, she chuckled slightly and whispered back, “It baffles some of us too.”

“Hey!” Spike protested. “What are you guys whispering about over there?”

“But I guess you’re right, Stephen,” Rarity called out with the same chipper tone that Stephen had joked with. She hopped off her couch and walked over to Spike. “Little Spikey-Wikey is my number one gemstone finder. So I guess he does have an eye for beauty.” When she got to Spike, she gave him a quick hug, which he eagerly accepted. “What a great big misunderstanding this has been,” she said with a sigh and a chuckle before trotting towards the kitchen. “Come along, gentlecolts. We’ve fallen behind in our work.”

The rest of the night consisted of a lot of fetching materials, Spike being used as a pincushion and sewing it all together with various tools. It was a fascinating process even if Rarity’s attention to detail felt monotonous at times. As the hours ticked away, Stephen kept himself going on black tea. At times, Spike yawned or lost focus as well. But he’d quickly snap back to reality for the sole purpose of not being outdone by Stephen. The hours flew by until the dress was finished and the morning sun was making its way into the sky. Then Spike headed out, stating he still had morning duties at the library.

Rarity rewarded Stephen for his hard work by preparing him a French toast and salad breakfast. They ate together and engaged in small talk until Rarity inquired, “How does your being here actually work?”

“I’m not sure but in a couple more nights I’ll concede to Twilight’s theory of me being here by way of something called a ‘Spirit Traveller’ spell. But she’s still not even sure how that makes sense because there’s a bunch of details to the spell that don’t add up to my being here.”

“Really? How so?”

“If I remember correctly; I’m not supposed to have an actual body, it only works up to a certain distance and I have to be willing to come.”

“And you say you only come whilst asleep?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah and as soon as I wake up, I’m back home.”

“Well, Twilight is a very smart unicorn and I’m sure she’ll have it figured out in no time at all.”

“I hope so. Regardless of what exactly I’m doing here, it needs to get fixed soon. Unless I can figure out a way to sleep while I’m here.”

“Say, it’s almost ten o’clock now,” said Rarity. “The morning is almost over yet you’re still here. Are you sure of everything you’re saying?”

“I took a sleeping pill last night. It’s probably still got me knocked through a loop.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Yeah, apparently when I wake up I’ll just plain vanish…”

A mighty siren sounded off, startling Stephen out of his wits. When his eyes opened, he was sitting up straight on his living room couch. His heart was making another escape attempt as the house phone rang a second time.

Pinkie Promise

Stephen picked himself up and trudged towards the kitchen. Halfway there, his stomach roared and he felt weak. A gigantic breakfast would be in order once this phone call was done. When he got to the kitchen, he grabbed the telephone from the wall. “Hello?” Stephen spoke so quiet and hoarsely that he couldn’t even hear himself.

“Are you there?” Selena’s voice came from the other end.

Stephen cleared his throat. “Yes, I’m here.” Though it sounded like a slightly hoarse version of his normal voice, he felt like he had shouted into the phone at the top of his lungs.

“Gosh, baby. Did I wake you up?”

“You might have.”

“Wow!” Selena shouted through the phone. Stephen was not yet awake enough to handle this much energy. “I called to make sure you found the breakfast I left for you. I didn’t think I’d wake you up. How the heck did you sleep so long?”

Stephen turned to his right to read the clock. After rubbing his eyes, the hands and numbers came into focus, reading about 9:55 AM. “Those sleeping pills must have knocked me through a loop.” Stephen’s stomach roared again. He put the phone on speaker and was about to dive into the refrigerator when he noticed a plate covered in aluminum foil on the table. A flash card was placed on top reading, 'microwave me im delicious ☺' in Selena’s handwriting.

“I didn’t think sleep aids would put you down for fourteen hours. Are you sure they’re a good idea?”

Stephen unwrapped the plate full of waffles and bacon. “I’m not sure about any of this,” he said while throwing the food into the microwave.

“There’s got to be something else we can do to help you. I know this has only been going on for a few days now but I haven’t seen you as much this week and when I do, you’re either falling over or getting cranky. I miss you and I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I don’t think I’m sick,” he said as he reached into the refrigerator for a jug of orange juice. “There might just be something going on in my head or body that’s making me think I’m not sleeping even though I really am.” Stephen started chugging the orange juice straight from the jug.

“Isn’t that called being sick?” Selena asked with a confused tone.

Stephen set down the orange juice and waited for an answer to come to mind. “Like I said, I’m not sure about much. Maybe I’m really not sleeping? Maybe I’m sleepwalking or something?”

“I don’t know about that. When I woke up, I was still in your arms just like I was when you fell asleep. You definitely never moved.”

“Well then maybe I am really spirit traveling to another world full of magical talking ponies where I spend my nights helping protect the citizens of Ponyville from the timberwolves,” Stephen put as much of a joking inflection into that as he could. But ultimately he knew that it was just another thing he wasn’t certain of.

There was an uncomfortably long pause over the phone. Selena must have been at a loss for words. The microwave beeped and cued her back into the conversation. “I’m sorry…what?” Selena asked. “Are you still having that whacky dream?”

“Yes and no. It’s like a big continuation,” Stephen said as he grabbed his food. “Every night I find myself right in the spot of town where I was just before I woke up the previous morning. Last night I was helping a posh lady unicorn and a baby dragon make a wedding dress!” Knowing how ridiculous this sounded only succeeded in frustrating Stephen as he told the story. On top of that frustration were the facts that this was still happening, that there was no solution in sight and that the exhaustion was making it more difficult to contain his frustration. The cherry topping this sundae of stress was a fear that this could affect his job and threaten his comfortable living salary.

“Okay that’s just weird…and what the heck is a timberwolf?” Selena asked.

“It’s a wolf made out of dead timber that magically comes to life.”

“How do you know that?”

“A cowgirl pony named Applejack told me,” Stephen sighed as he poured syrup on his waffles.

“There’s another thing! This ordeal is making you silly. Now don’t get me wrong, I like silly. Silly can be fun. But you’ve never been silly like this before. So now that you’re suddenly having these weird dreams and not knowing why and not sleeping well and all sorts of other things that aren’t like you; I want to help but I don’t know how and I’m scared for you.” Selena took a deep breath accompanied by an audible sniffle.

Just like Selena did not like seeing Stephen outside of his usual levelheaded and laid-back nature; Stephen did not like seeing Selena worried or unhappy. So he said the first thing that came to mind, hoping it would calm her nerves. “I’m sorry, Selena. Please don’t worry about me.”

There was another sniffle. “Don’t forget, you pinkie-promised you’d be alright.”

“I haven’t forgotten that.”

“Okay,” said Selena. She was trying to keep her composure. But even over the phone, Stephen could tell she was going to break down if this persisted.

“I’ll tell you what,” Stephen said as confidently as he could. “I’ll prove that I’m doing fine. Come over as soon as you get done with work and we’ll have a nice date night. Sound good?”

“I like that idea.” Selena’s voice started to come back up to its normal cheer. “I’d better get back to work though. I’ll see you later.”

“Love you,” said Stephen before hanging up the phone.

For a while, Stephen grazed on snacks from his cupboard and rested in bed. Remembering how he felt after his extended bed rest yesterday, he made the connection to the nap he took and developed a theory. Perhaps resting for small amounts of time throughout the day could compensate for not getting a good night’s sleep. Regardless of if it would work or not, it felt good to rest.

The hours ticked by as he lay in bed with his eyes closed. But after a while, Stephen started feeling himself getting closer and closer to unconsciousness, barely managing to pull himself back whenever he felt himself drifting off. The goal was to rest and regain energy without falling asleep. Not only did Stephen know that falling asleep would yield no rest, but he didn’t want to risk being asleep when Selena came over. Otherwise she might worry about him again. Almost needless to say, he also wanted to avoid the risk of dreaming.

Curious as to how much longer he had to wait, Stephen opened his eyes. The clock read 3:32. There was still at least a half hour until Selena got off work and perhaps an hour before she arrived. So Stephen did his best to nap and keep his mind clear in hopes that he wouldn’t fall asleep.

After a few more minutes, something felt off about Stephen’s back. He must have changed positions in his bed without realizing it. Regardless, he was going to continue to enjoy this nap and did just that until something prodded his ribs, tickling him. “Are you alright, darling?” a posh voice asked. Posh voice? No! Stephen’s eyes shot open and informed him that he was sitting at Rarity’s kitchen table. Stephen did not even have the energy to express how disappointed he was in himself. “Fancy seeing you here. You gave me quite a start when you vanished this morning. I thought you only came at night.”

A wide variety of responses ran through Stephen’s head within the span of a second but none of them were pleasant. In an attempt to avoid being rude to his hostess, he settled on saying, “Me too,” as plainly as he possibly could.

“But I’m glad you’re here though. Pinkie Pie has been quite upset that she hasn’t properly welcomed you to Ponyville yet. You can probably find her at Sugar Cube Corner if you go now.”

Thinking for a moment, Stephen remembered previous unsuccessful attempts at waking himself up or having others try to wake him up and realized that now would not likely be any different. Where’s that man with the subwoofers in his car when he’s needed? His only hope was for a loud noise to bring him back to his senses. Until then, he would just have to keep playing along. “Sure, will do.” Stephen unenthusiastically slid off the chair and onto all fours. “Where is Sugar Cube Corner?”

“It’s down the street by town hall. It’s a large building that looks like a gingerbread house. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you,” Stephen said with a nod. “Have a good day then,”

“Have fun, Stephen!” Rarity bid from the kitchen. Stephen turned around and waved back before dragging his hooves out of the front door.

In the bright, cloudless, Ponyville day, Stephen could see a large gingerbread house about a block away from the Carousel Boutique. He walked towards it but only got halfway there before seeing Pinkie Pie. She was beaming so brightly that it could be seen from the distance as she conversed with a muscular, gray unicorn stallion. He had a thick, flowing mane and tail of crimson with white highlights. Though none of the other ponies seemed to think clothing was necessary, this pony was wearing a brown cargo vest and black ankle-covering horseshoes. Remembering what Fluttershy told him about cutie marks; Stephen wondered what special talent was symbolized by the divider compass that was superimposed over black spots on the unicorn’s flank.

As Stephen approached, Pinkie seemed to catch him in the corner of her eye. With a gasp, she called out, “There’s one of my other new friends now!”

“Good afternoon, Pinkie,” said Stephen, acting as chipper as he could. “I heard you were looking for me.”

“Oh my gosh yes!” Pinkie spoke so fast it didn’t sound like there were spaces in her words. “At first you came into town and I was like gasp and then you were all bouncy and then I didn’t see you again and I was sad because I never gave you a proper welcome but then Twilight said you were helping Rarity and then Rarity said you poofed out of her kitchen this morning and that you’d probably come back tonight but you’re here now so we can have your welcome party!”

“That sounds nice, Pinkie. But I don’t have the energy for any kind of party right now.”

“Okay well maybe we don’t need to have a party-party. Maybe we can have a fun game of meet my new friends!” Pinkie nudged the unicorn over towards Stephen. “Stephen, meet my new friend, Earnest!”

“The pleasure is mine. My name is Earnest Stalwart.” There was a pleasantly refined bass-like quality in Earnest’s voice that made him sound old and wise.

“I’m Stephen,” he replied, shaking Earnest’s hoof.

“Are you new to Ponyville as well?” Earnest asked.

“You could say that.”

Pinkie jumped in. “Earnest is here in Ponyville looking for something.”

“What would that be?” Stephen asked of curiosity.

“I’m sure I’ll know it when I find it. I thought I’d find it in the Everfree forest but I had no luck.”

Stephen cringed. “Oh gosh, that place. I can’t imagine why you’d ever want to go in there.”

“The Everfree frightens a lot of ponies. But if you are determined and always prepared with sharp mind and tools, any challenge can be overcome with ease.”

“It’s a different story when you’re dumped in there with nothing and have no idea where you are.”

“Good heavens!” Earnest proclaimed, briefly examining Stephen with his large, green eyes. “Thank Celestia you’re alright. When did that happen?”

“About half of a week ago, I guess.”

Earnest rubbed a hoof under his chin for a moment. “Well then, you’re a very lucky stallion. Keep your chin up and your wits about you and with even half of that luck, you’ll do great things. As for me, I must be going. It was a pleasure to meet you both.”

“Aw, you’re leaving?” asked Pinkie. “What if you don’t find your thing?”

“My dear, I have much to do and I believe now I know where to look. Thank you for all of your help, my little pony.”

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie shouted and waved her hoof. “See you around, Mr. Stalwart!” Then she diverted her attention back to Stephen. “What should we do first?” she asked enthusiastically.

“To be honest with you, now is not a great time. I’m expecting company back home so I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here.” Pinkie’s lower lip curled up, reminding Stephen of Selena’s mood earlier. He couldn’t handle that twice in one day. “But it’s pretty likely I’ll be back here tonight. We can hang out then.”

“Do you pinkie promise?”

Stephen realized that his subconscious must have been forming Pinkie Pie as a caricature of Selena. “Yes, I do,” he said with a chuckle.

“Cross your heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye?” A series of gestures accompanied Pinkie’s rhyme that ended with her poking her own left eye with her hoof. It looked like it would hurt but Pinkie didn’t seem to notice.

The accompanying rhyme wasn’t something he’d seen Selena do, but Stephen rolled with it nonetheless. “Of course. Where should I meet you?” he asked while shaking Pinkie’s hoof.

Pinkie zipped next to Stephen and threw a hoof over his shoulder. Using his body as support, Pinkie used her other hoof to point down the street. “You see that big gingerbread house over there?” Stephen nodded. “My house is right directly across from it on the other side of the street.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Awesome!” Pinkie hopped off Stephen’s shoulders and faced him. “Just get ready for a super fun night!”

“I’ll do my best,” said Stephen as he turned around and walked away. Finding a comfortable spot, he sat down and watched the citizens of Ponyville go about their lives for a few minutes.

Stephen’s house phone prompted him to open his eyes. Never before had he been so grateful at being woken up this way. However, between the strength he had to gather to get out of bed and the time it would take to get downstairs, he knew he’d never make it in time. So he didn’t bother trying. But once his strength had been gathered, Stephen went downstairs and began tidying up his house.

Just as he noticed that Selena was running late, his cell phone started playing the Looney Tunes theme song. Stephen picked answered the phone with a happy, “Hello.”

“Hey, baby. The guy that was supposed to take the next shift called in sick so I’m stuck here until his cover shows up. I’ll probably be there in an hour or so. How are you doing?”

“I’m holding up.”

“Are we still on for tonight?”

“You know it. I can’t wait.”

“Yay! Alright I’d better get out there before the boss catches me on my phone. Love you!”

“Love you too,” Stephen got in just before he heard Selena’s phone hang up.

Stephen kept himself awake and alert for the next hour by thoroughly cleaning his first floor. When Selena arrived, they spent the rest of the lazy Sunday afternoon in each others' company. The first thing that came to mind was a walk through the local park. They hadn’t been to the park in a while so it was a nice change of pace from their usual route around the block.

The park was mildly populated by people playing sports, on the playground or with their pets. Stephen and Selena conversed about everything and nothing as they made their way around the park with his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist. They stopped briefly when Selena wanted to horse around on the playground. Stephen loved that Selena was always a bucket full of energy. His only regret was not being able to keep up with her, especially in his current condition.

Another mile of walking put them at an Italian restaurant down the street. Stephen and Selena shared a plate of spaghetti that was so large; their combined efforts barely conquered it. It was just after eight o’clock when they finished their meal and started walking back to Stephen’s house.

“This will be a good way to burn off all that food,” Selena said with a laugh.

Stephen groaned as he waddled beside his girlfriend. “That was way too much spaghetti. How the heck are you walking straight?”

“You’re just a big wuss!”

“I’m not big. That’s part of the problem,” said Stephen before Selena threw her arms around him. He almost toppled over from Selena’s embrace. He playfully tugged her wrists but she didn’t let go. “Not now, Selena. Any added pressure to the gut and I might explode.”

Selena tucked herself against his side and put her arm around his waist again. “Well I don’t want to have to pick up little chunks of Stephen and try to put them back together.”

Stephen draped his arm back around her shoulders. “Seriously, how do Italians eat that much and not weigh a thousand pounds?”

“It’s not just Italians, silly,” said Selena. “I’ve seen your father pack it away at just about any party we’ve been to. He’s not much bigger than you.”

“Yeah but he also spends most of his free time exercising or lifting weights. He can get away with it.”

“Then maybe you should start exercising more. Then maybe you’d be able to eat more and not have to waddle away from the restaurant.”

“I don’t like that idea. Any time I spend lifting weights is time I’m not spending with you. That’s just not good.”

“Well look who’s trying to be Prince Charming tonight!” Selena giggled.

“Is it working?”

When they arrived at Stephen’s doorstep, Selena stopped. “Almost,” she said. “But we both have work in the morning and I want you to get some actual sleep this time. No sleeping pills. No dreaming of magic horses. Just sleeping and I’ll check on you when I get out of work tomorrow. Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Goodnight, baby.” Selena came up on her toes to give Stephen a kiss.

After he watched her get into her car and pull away, Stephen made his way back up to bed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to fall asleep. If he picked up where he left off again, he would have to spend the night with Pinkie Pie. He liked Selena as herself and wasn’t certain he was ready to deal with a hyperactive caricatured version of her.

But Stephen had another thought. It was a thought that once it occurred to him, seemed so obvious that he almost kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. If he set up his laptop’s built-in webcam to watch him sleep, he wouldn’t have to wait for a lab test to tell him if he was sleepwalking. Spending a night with Pinkie Pie would be worth it if it gave him any answers as to what was going on.

On that thought, Stephen went to the dresser that sat a few feet from the foot of his bed. He replaced the television that sat on it with his laptop. After plugging it into the outlet and making sure it would stay on all night, Stephen activated the built-in webcam and tucked himself in.

Just Do It

When a breeze rolled over Stephen’s body, he wasn’t going to bother hoping he’d left his window open. After lifting his heavy eyelids and finding himself in the same spot he had sat down in during his afternoon nap, he got to his feet and cranked his neck up to the moon. Bathing Ponyville in its dull, blue glow, it was just as big and bright as it was the first time he’d seen it five nights ago. Confidence in the fact that he was dreaming returned to him. If this were real, wouldn’t there be a new moon or a crescent by now? But what if this world had a different lunar cycle? How many times thus far had logic, as he’d known it, been applicable? Stephen pondered the possibilities as he started walking.

Regardless of the situation, he was glad that the moon was so large and bright. It removed much of the difficulty in relocating the giant gingerbread house about three hundred yards away. Remembering Pinkie’s directions, Stephen put himself in the street outside Sugarcube Corner and attempted an about-face. However, his back legs crossed and his fronts didn't move. He toppled over onto his side and grunted out a frustrated, “Darn it!”

As he rolled onto his legs, a door on the other side of the street opened with Pinkie behind it. “There you are!” she cheered. “What are you doing on the ground?” Pinkie giggled as she gaited over to him. Holding out a hoof, Stephen put a foreleg over it and she pulled him to his feet. “The party isn’t in the street, you silly pony.”

As Stephen followed Pinkie inside, each step felt like dragging a lead weight. He did not feel like he had enough energy for this. “This is nice of you, Pinkie. But you don’t have to throw me a party,” Stephen said, trying to find a way to opt for a calm and peaceful night.

“Of course I do. What better way is there to celebrate new friends?”

If he couldn’t find a way out of it, perhaps he could at least know what to prepare for. “So, who else is coming?”

“Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are already here!” Pinkie cheered. “Everypony else was busy.”

Stephen opened his mouth to ask a question but forgot what it was when he felt something soft and moist grip one of his legs. Looking down, he saw a tiny alligator gnawing his ankle. “Aah!” he shrieked and instinctually kicked the leg up. The alligator went flying across the room.

Quick as a whip, Pinkie zipped over to the other side of the room and caught the small reptile on her back. Then she dashed back inside Stephen’s personal space. “Looks like Gummy wants to join the party too.”

“‘Gummy’?” Stephen asked. “Is that thing your pet?”

“Yep! Isn’t he cute?”

“He tried to eat my leg!”

Pinkie giggled. “You’re funny. He can’t eat your leg. He doesn’t even have teeth.” Pinkie said as the alligator started chewing on a piece of her mane. “That just means that he likes you.”

“Did you ever consider that biting might not seem so affectionate once he grows teeth?” asked Stephen.

Pinkie pondered for a moment. Then she gave a bright smile and squeaked, “Not really! But enough about that. It’s time to party! Follow me!” Pinkie turned around and trotted up a flight of stairs with Gummy along for the ride.

Stairs again? As a pony, he’d only been up and down a flight of stairs once and it hadn’t been a pleasant experience. All things considered, the odds of this boding well for Stephen were not promising. Groaning his frustration, he began making his way up.

Pinkie set Gummy down at the top of the steps. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash appeared at the top of the steps next to her. When Rainbow noticed him, she waved and called out. “Hey, Stephen!”

“Good evening,” Stephen responded before taking another step.

Rainbow’s head cocked slightly to the side and looked curiously at Stephen before asking. “Are you alright down there? You’re certainly taking a while with those steps.”

Stephen was just slightly past the halfway point. Getting up was moderately easier than it was the night before, but it was still a pain to remember the stepping sequence. “I’m not quite accustomed to walking up stairs with four legs yet.” Stephen thought back to the way he had tripped earlier. “Or movements more complex than running for that matter,” he continued.

“Oh my, do you need help?” asked Fluttershy.

“I’ll be fine with a little more practice,” said Stephen.

“Oh, I have an idea!” Pinkie cheered before leaping from the top of the stairs. While airborne, she turned one hundred eighty degrees and landed halfway down the staircase, right next to Stephen. “I’ll teach you the fun way to do it!”

Stephen was dumbfounded with amazement at Pinkie’s coordination. He hoped she wouldn’t attempt to teach him such tumbling. He couldn’t imagine himself being able to tumble as a human. Attempting it as a pony could only lead to pain and disaster. “Thanks for the offer but I’ll decline,” said Stephen. “I just need to go slow until I get used to it.”

“Boring!” said Pinkie. “This will be totally fun, I promise. Just do as I do.” Pinkie started hopping up and down on the stairs, giggling again after two bounces. “Doesn’t this look like more fun? Try it with me.”

“Pinkie, I don’t have nearly enough energy to skip up the stairs with you.”

“Don’t worry, it’s easy,” she continued to hop. “All you have to do is bend your knees and lift yourself up as fast as you can. It’s called hopping. You have hopping where you come from, right?”

“Yes,” Stephen droned with an almost sarcastic tone.

“Good, so give it a try! Then when you feel like you can hop, just move forward after you go up. Like this…” Pinkie moved her bounce forward and skipped up the stairs. “See? It’s easy and super fun. Try it!” She bounced all the way back down to Stephen.

After she repeated this a second time, Stephen decided to stop following her with his eyes before he made himself dizzy. “I’m going to end up rolling down these stairs.”

Pinkie stopped bouncing. “No, you won’t.” Turning her head up the stairs, she called out. “Dashie, can you make sure Stephen doesn’t fall?”

With a salute, Rainbow glided down the stairs on her wings and landed just a few feet below Stephen. “I got your back,” she said while taking a ready stance.

“The last time you had my back, we ended up imprinted on the library’s ceiling,” said Stephen.

Rainbow stomped her front hoof in protest. “Hey! If that ceiling wasn’t so low I would have caught you easily. This’ll be different.”

“I’m really not sure about this,” said Stephen.

“Please?” Pinkie begged with wide eyes, a frown and flat ears.

The puppy-dog eyes worked but only because Pinkie reminded him of Selena too much. With a sigh of resignation, he said, “Alright, let’s see what I can do.”

As to not overdo it on his first try, he only slightly bent all four of his knees. After a moment of gathering strength and courage, Stephen pumped his legs straight. He flew a terrifying three inches from the stairs and fell all the way back down, landing squarely on all fours. After realizing he was stable, he looked up at Pinkie.

“See? Wasn’t that great?” Pinkie cheered.

“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Stephen admitted.

“Now keep going until you think you can move up.” Pinkie shuffled back next to him and resumed bouncing.

Stephen took a deep breath and started bouncing with her. It felt awfully silly and even a tad embarrassing with Rainbow and Fluttershy watching. But it was something Pinkie really wanted and as long as he wasn’t in danger, he could get it over with quickly.

“Think you can do it yet?” Pinkie asked.

Stephen had built up enough height to clear a step. “I can try. I just hope I don’t fall.”

“Well you certainly won’t be able to make the leap if you’re thinking about all the ways you could fall.”

“You got this, Stephen!” Rainbow cheered from below.

Pinkie chimed in. “We’ll do it together on three! Ready?” Ready or not, Stephen wasn't really given a choice. “One! Two! Three!” Stephen put all of his strength into his last jump and lunged forward. He and Pinkie landed square on the next step up. “That was awesome! Now we just got to keep doing it. Ready? Set! Go!” Going again so soon caught Stephen by surprise but he managed to lunge up another step. “You’re doing great! Just keep going!” Pinkie cheered him on. “I’ll follow you now. Ready?”

This was exhausting but he was already three-fourths of the way up the stairs. “I’m ready,” he said with confidence. “One, two, three, go!” Stephen leaped up another step with Pinkie hopping right next to him. Five more consecutive hops put them both at the top of the stairs. Stephen celebrated his victory by sitting down and catching his breath. Flutershy took a moment to look him over and Rainbow Dash fluttered up to the top of the steps to join them.

Pinkie couldn’t stop laughing. “Wasn’t that fun?” she asked.

Stephen wasn’t ready to describe it as fun. But he could settle on, “Yeah…That was good,” in between panting breaths.

“Well the fun’s not over yet. Just look up!”

Stephen lifted his head and gazed into the giant room. The first thing he noticed was a long table covered with cups, plates, drinks, snacks and a large cake. Over the table was a banner reading, ‘Welcome to Ponyville!’ in large, sparkling letters and a single piece of paper with Stephen’s name dangling under it. “You really put a lot of effort into this, didn’t you?” Stephen asked as he admired the balloons and streamers, which decorated the walls.

“Parties are Pinkie’s specialty,” said Fluttershy.

Pinkie went around the room and strapped party hats to everyone’s head. After securing one for Gummy, she skipped over to the table. After setting out four milkshakes and slices of cake, she turned to the others and said, “Eat up! We’re going to need a lot of sugary energy to get through tonight.”

“Aw yeah!” Rainbow cheered and jumped across the room, landing right next to the table.

Anything that would get Stephen more energy was appealing. Thanking Pinkie Pie, he walked over to the table with Fluttershy. Once he got there, he reached down and took a bite of the cake. After a moment, the cake’s perfect texture and taste hit Stephen’s tongue at full force and sent him into such a shock that he momentarily stopped chewing and forgot the manners his mother had spent years drilling into him. “Holy crow,” he spoke with his mouth full.

“Is it bad?” Pinkie asked with a concerned expression.

Stephen resumed chewing and swallowed the bite. “That is easily the best cake I’ve ever had.” Stephen practically inhaled the rest of the cake and then went for his milkshake, which was a very close second to the cake. Before he could finish it, Pinkie dropped another slice of cake and a cup of punch in front of him. The four ponies continued to converse and devour the confections. Stephen stopped when he neared the same discomfort he experienced after the Italian restaurant.

“Does anypony want more cake?” Pinkie asked.

“Nah, I’ve had enough,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Maybe just one more slice,” Fluttershy mumbled with averted eyes.

“I don’t think I could eat another bite,” said Stephen.

“Okey-dokey!” Pinkie pie set down a few more slices of the cake. “I’ll leave some here just in case.” As Fluttershy nibbled on her slice, Pinkie inhaled the rest of the cake in a few gigantic bites.

Unsure of what to think about Pinkie’s appetite, Stephen leaned to Rainbow Dash. “Is she a bottomless pit or something?” he asked.

Rainbow replied in the same bewildered tone, “I don’t know how she does half the things she does.”

“Is everyone ready to work off that cake?” Pinkie interjected.

“What do you mean?” asked Stephen.

Pinkie shot over to the other side of the room and dropped a needle on a vinyl record. A polka started playing through the speaker. “It’s time to dance!”

A nervous chill ran up Stephen’s spine. “Dance? Pinkie, I can barely maneuver this body. How the heck am I going to dance?”

“I’m going to teach you how to move that groove thing so you’re not falling over so much!”

Stephen wasn’t sure about this. On one hand, if he could get used to prancing about on four legs, he might not trip over himself so much. On the other hand, that meant that the trial-and-error involved would inevitably lead to a lot of falling over and he’d be making a foolish wager with whatever hopes he had of not getting hurt.

Wishing to avoid this if at all possible, Stephen quickly tried to think of a way out of it. “I can’t even dance under normal circumstances. Seriously, I got picked on at school for not having any rhythm,” Stephen lied. He had danced before with no problems and actually found it a bit fun as long as he was with his girlfriend or didn’t feel like anyone was watching. But he needed an excuse so he could hope for a chance that Pinkie would abandon the idea of dancing for a night of safely doing nothing.

Rainbow Dash interjected. “Then we’ll just have to fix that so you can show them some new moves,” she said confidently. Jabbing Stephen lightly with her foreleg, she continued, “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Stephen hadn’t been able to worm his way out of anything yet. Why would this have been any different anyway? With that, he was out of ideas so he continued to play along. “Alright, what do I do first?” he reluctantly asked.

“Start off easy. Just run in place,” Pinkie said as she started jogging where she stood.

Stephen looked around the room. Fluttershy had set down her cake and seemed content with trotting in place to the rhythm of the music. Rainbow Dash seemed to be watching him and Pinkie while simply nodding her head to the beat. Gummy had found a grounded balloon and was chewing on it.

Stephen turned his attention back to Pinkie and studied her movement for a moment. When her right front foot went up, the left back foot went up too. Then she would switch with her left front and back right raised and the other two hooves planted. She alternated between these two positions at a merry pace with an even merrier smile decorating her face.

Stephen attempted imitating her by raising his front right foot. Once it was up, he raised his back left. Then he put them both on the ground and alternated. For the first ten or so switches, he moved as slowly and deliberately as possible. After that, his legs started getting used to the motion and he gradually picked up speed. Pinkie was still prancing much faster than Stephen but didn’t look like it took much effort at all. Stephen, on the other hand, was starting to feel short of breath. Then the music’s tempo kicked up.

“Come on, Stephen! Let’s see how you move!” said Pinkie as she added a bobbing and weaving motion to her dance.

“I’m going…as fast…as…I can…” Stephen said in between breaths. Pinkie stopped and held still with a bewildered facial expression. Stephen stopped as well, taking the opportunity to catch his breath. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked after a moment.

Pinkie burst into laughter. “You’re funny!” she pealed. “Dancing isn’t about moving fast. You have to move with your feelings, not your feet.”

“But I thought we were trying to teach me how to be coordinated.”

“We are, silly. I don’t know about you but if I start thinking about every ity-bity-muscle I have to move when I walk I’m much much more likely to trip. It’s a lot easier if you just do it.”

Stephen didn’t know about this but he was almost certain that’s what happens when someone’s instincts take over. That’s not something that can be done consciously, is it? “I still don’t follow you,” he said.

Pinkie pondered for a moment. “Oh!” she squeaked. “I have an idea!” She bolted back over to the turntable and exchanged the record. After dropping the needle, she was back over to Stephen even before the music started playing. “Do you like this music?”

It sounded like disco music being played on a single electronic keyboard. “It’s alright, I guess,” said Stephen.

“Good!” Pinkie hopped once with excitement. “Stay right here.” Pinkie zipped over to Fluttershy’s side. Nudging her, she brought Fluttershy back towards Stephen. “You should try dancing with someone. It’ll help you feel the beat.”

Fluttershy’s eyes bugged out and she shrank where she stood. “Um…Pinkie Pie…I don’t think I can…” she meekly stuttered out before being interrupted by Pinkie.

“So, Stephen, you dance with Fluttershy and I’ll be your coach.”

“Oh I have got to see this,” Rainbow giggled and flew in closer.

“She seems nervous, Pinkie,” said Stephen.

“Yeah,” said Rainbow with a chuckle. “Pinkie, you might have to coach both of them.”

“Um…what if Rainbow Dash dances and Pinkie Pie coaches and I…go over there…and dance…by myself…” Fluttershy said, shrinking even closer to the floor.

Rainbow’s face deadpanned. “I don’t dance.”

Fluttershy was practically shaking. “But…but…”

Rainbow came up next to Fluttershy. With a playful nudge, she joked, “Come on, Fluttershy. You’re not afraid of a little dancing, are you?”

Fluttershy’s big, green eyes got even bigger and started watering up as she squeaked a barely audible, “Yes.”

“Aww, that’s okay Fluttershy,” said Pinkie, patting her on the head. “You don’t have to dance if you don’t want to.”

Smirking, Rainbow hugged Fluttershy with a wing and said, “Don’t worry Fluttershy, I was just joking with you. Here, we’ll just watch Pinkie and Stephen.”

Fluttershy gulped. “Okay,” she said with her voice raised just above a whisper.

“Pinkie and I?” Stephen questioned.

“Looks like it’s up to me,” said Pinkie. She positioned herself in front of Stephen and widened her eyes at him. “I want you to keep your eyes on mine, stay this close to me, listen to the music and whatever you do don’t think!”

Easy for you to say, was the first thing that popped into Stephen’s mind. He decided not to vocalize the sentiment, as it would have distracted him from the task at hand. As he kept his eyes on hers, she stared into his, unblinking and with that smile which seemed ever present. Suddenly, she stepped closer to him, prompting Stephen to step back. Pinkie took a step back and Stephen stepped forward with her to keep the distance she requested.

How does one not think? Stephen asked himself while he continued to step back and forth with Pinkie. She had indeed told him to keep a clear mind. But wasn’t the thought of not thinking a thought in itself? It seemed like an oxymoron or a catch 22.

Pinkie added a left-to-right swaying motion as she continued to step with Stephen. For a moment, he mentally recorded the way Pinkie’s front and back legs alternated when she stepped and the way her body swayed from side to side. Stephen attempted to not break eye contact by using his peripherals to watch her hooves and his at the same time, copy her movements and hope that he would be able to remember them for the future. A giggle from Pinkie Pie jerked Stephen’s attention from his peripheral vision and back into Pinkie’s eyes. “Are you having fun? I’m having fun!”

“This isn’t what I expected. I know that much,” said Stephen, doing his best to follow her movement.

Stephen managed to keep his eyes on hers even as she suddenly bobbed her head. When they came up, he noticed from his peripherals that something about the room behind Pinkie was different. “But it’s fun right?” Pinkie asked before Stephen could think anything of it.

Stephen thought about it for a moment. After reprimanding himself for thinking again, he answered. “Yes, I suppose it is,” Remembering the previous four nights in an instant, he continued, “Especially compared to the other nights I’ve had these dreams.”

“Well you’re not dreaming now so we’ll make sure this is your best night ever.” Stephen chuckled but kept his eyes on Pinkie’s. She bobbed again and when she came up, the room seemed to have shifted to the right. Were they moving? Pinkie didn’t give him a chance to figure it out. “What else did you do today that was fun?” Pinkie’s head joined her body in swaying with the music.

At first, Stephen tried to follow her with his eyes but he ended up needing to trot in place in order to maintain the eye contact she’d requested. “Not much, really. I was groggy all day until my girlfriend came over. Then we went for a walk in the park and ate dinner.”

“That sounds like lots and lots of fun!” said Pinkie with another bob and turn.

Watching Pinkie, Stephen bent his neck down and weaved to his right and something clicked inside his head. How long had he been simultaneously trotting in place, bobbing, weaving, shifting and turning with her? “Holy crow,” said Stephen without breaking eye contact or stopping his motion. “Have we been dancing this whole song?”

“Yep,” Pinkie said cheerfully. “See? I knew you could dance if you kept your mind off it.”

Pinkie had just shown him how to put himself into a state of clear mindedness and demonstrated it on him without even having to explain it. How could the solution to such an abstract and complex concept be so simple? It was just a matter of almost not paying attention to what you were doing whilst doing it or operating on will power alone. The genius of it all was amazing on its own. Even more astounding was this revelation coming from the hyperactive mess that was Pinkie Pie.

Stephen’s train of thought ended around the same time as the song and he needed to catch his breath again. “That was awesome!” he whooped during an exhale.

“Let’s try something else now!” Pinkie said before dashing off again.

“I think I need a drink first,” Stephen said as he moved towards the punch bowl. He grabbed the ladle in his mouth and tried to pour himself another drink. However, most of the ladle’s contents spilled onto the floor. Despite being more confident with his maneuverability, perhaps he would need more practice at using tools by the grip of his mouth.

Stephen felt a tapping on his shoulder. Looking back, he found Rainbow Dash was hovering just above him with a punch-filled cup clasped between her hooves and held out to him. “Looks like you’ve got some nice moves after all,” she said, setting the cup on the table and pushing it towards him with her hoof.

“Thanks,” Stephen replied before downing the punch in one, long swig. “I think I’ve got this figured out now.” Stephen looked around and then turned back to Rainbow. “Do you know where I can find something to clean my spill with?”

“There’s no time for that!” Pinkie cheered. “There’s still so much to do!” Pinkie already had Fluttershy under her front leg. With the other foreleg, she grabbed Stephen and hauled them both out onto her floor.

Pinkie taught Stephen how to slow dance before the group moved onto a game of ‘Simon Says’. Stephen didn’t have much of a chance. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were dirty tricksters with tendencies to call out things that Stephen simply wasn’t ready to do such as headstands and cartwheels.

When it finally came time for Stephen’s turn, he had to think of a way to get back at Rainbow and Pinkie. He couldn’t think of anything he could say that they wouldn’t be able to do. But perhaps they didn’t need to physically stumble.

“Simon says; look up,” said Stephen, to which the other three complied. “Simon says; look down.” Stephen waited only for half a second once they’d lowered their heads. “Now quickly stand on your hind legs!” he blared as fast as he could. The sudden burst of urgency startled Fluttershy stiff. Pinkie and Rainbow jumped up onto their hind legs as fast as they could, only to realize that in their attempt to meet the command as quickly as it was given, they had followed it without the ‘Simon Says’ directive. After conceding defeat, Pinkie and Rainbow were a little more civil with their commands.

But the game was still challenging until Fluttershy took over. Fluttershy’s commands were seldom anything worse than lifting one of their legs or rearing up. Between Pinkie and Rainbow’s stunts, Stephen’s tricks and Fluttershy’s timid commands, the game was brought to a hilarious stalemate.

From ‘Simon Says’ the group moved onto ‘Red-Light/Green-Light’, ‘Pin the Tail on the Donkey’ and ‘Twister’. Each activity challenged the limits of Stephen’s dexterity by landing him in a variety of funny, complex and awkward positions. But whenever he remembered what Pinkie taught him about ‘just do it’, anything was possible with the exception of Pinkie’s ability to stand straight on one front hoof. Stephen wasn’t even going to bother trying that.

At one point, Rainbow Dash found a couple of balls that Pinkie had laying around for some arbitrary, inadequately explained reason. She started bouncing one back and forth off her head, front legs and back legs. She turned to Stephen with a competitive look and said, “Bet you can’t do this!”

“I’m not sure but I can try,” he replied.

Stephen walked to the other ball and dribbled it until the ball was between him and the wall. After picking a spot on the wall, Stephen gave the ball a light kick front-legged kick. The ball bounced off the predetermined spot and bounced back towards him. Lowering his head, the ball bounced off his crest and into the air. Keeping an eye on where it was going, Stephen raised his head and continued his bouncing. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie watched for a few minutes as Rainbow Dash and Stephen competed to see who would drop their bounce first. There was no end in sight until Gummy decided to reaffirm his affection for the new guest.

The soft clamp on Stephen’s leg distracted him enough to bounce the ball off the wrong spot on his head and off at an angle behind him. He backpedalled and dived down just in time to get off one more bounce. The ball then bounced forward and Stephen simply couldn’t recover fast enough.

Rainbow caught her ball under a wing. “Ha! That was pretty good but it doesn’t look like you’re ready for the big leagues yet, buddy.”

Stephen chuckled. “Hey now, I was doing fine until Gummy bit me.”

The games had been going on for a couple of hours. By now, Stephen could canter, prance, gallop, turn, spin, jump, cross, buck and rear up on command. It was tiring but as long as Stephen kept moving and took an occasional snack, he could almost keep pace with Pinkie. During one of these snacks, he found himself surprised at how much fun he was having. There was a simple, child-like pleasure to be had in these games which Stephen hadn’t played since he was ten-years-old. He could now see why Selena was so playful and enjoyed video games or going to the park’s playground. Starting tomorrow, he would enjoy these simpler pleasures with her more often.

Pinkie interrupted his thoughts again by poking his flank and shouting, “Tag! You’re it!”

Stephen changed his mind; he was going to start enjoying these simpler pleasures right now. “You’d better be ready to run!” he laughed out.

“No tag backs!” Pinkie giggled before taking off at full speed.

“You’re not getting off that easily!” Stephen galloped after her as she weaved around obstacles in the room, laughing hysterically the whole time. She was incredibly fast but he didn’t care, not even when Pinkie knocked the punch bowl into his path. He didn’t know if it was an accident or if Pinkie was trying to get him to trip. But thinking quickly, Stephen leapt over the new obstacle as the punch flew everywhere. Then the chase devolved into running in circles around the room. Stephen looked away only once when he noticed Gummy in the middle of their racetrack, trying to follow their movement with his eyes. While he wasn’t looking, he slammed into Pinkie’s backside and fell over. When he recovered, he took advantage poked her with his hoof. “You’re it,” he giggled.

“Hold on,” Pinkie responded.

Something must have been amiss. “What’s wrong?” Stephen asked.

“My knees feel pinchy,” she sounded nervous.

Rainbow Dash jumped into the air and started hovering with an alert expression. Fluttershy gasped and took cover behind the table. Stephen was officially perplexed. “What does that mean?” he asked.

“My knee gets pinchy when something scary is about to happen. We’d better stop playing to be careful.”

Stephen’s first instinct was she was trying to think of an excuse to not lose. But would Pinkie want to stop playing unless there really was something wrong? Her facial expression certainly looked like she believed danger was coming. Either it was or she was a really good actress. “Are you girls playing a joke on me?” he asked.

“Nope, sometimes I get little twitches and itches whenever something is about to happen. For example a twitchy tail means something is going to fall.”

Pinkie tried to turn around and demonstrate but she accidentally bumped him with her flank. Stephen was knocked off balance by her impressive hip strength and staggered for a few steps before remembering how to stop his momentum. But when he tried, he slipped on the spilled contents of the punch bowl and was sent careening straight towards the window.

“I got’cha!” Rainbow cried out and flew towards him.

Stephen turned his body to the side in hopes that dispersing his weight across the impact zone would prevent the window from breaking. The contact knocked the wind out of him and the glass failed to stop his momentum. Rainbow Dash appeared over him and tried to grab him out of the air. He tried to reach out to her as well but only succeeded in clocking her lower mandible, causing her to miss the grab. With that, Stephen was left trying to grab onto nonexistent ledges with nonexistent hands as he plummeted headlong towards the ground.

First Left Step

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Although Stephen’s alarm was just as unpleasant as it always was, this morning, he woke up feeling better than he had previous mornings. Perhaps those last few hours of rest at Fluttershy’s did the trick. The thought was not even there for a full second before getting pushed out by more logical explanations. Perhaps this is finally starting to wear off, Stephen’s consciousness loudly drowned out the original thought as he reached over to silence his alarm. Now that the blaring siren was quiet, it was time to walk over to his dresser, shut off his webcam’s recording and log the night’s activities in his journal.

Stephen went to walk to his dresser. But when he took his first left step of the day, the ankle went limp in protest. Stephen thudded against the floor before he knew what was happening. Then he was greeted by a searing, pulsating pain that shot through is leg and emulated from his left ankle.

The sprain had done a great job of catching him off guard and now it was also succeeding at clouding his judgment. Not knowing what to do, Stephen instinctually curled up into the fetal position and rubbed his ankle in hopes that the pain would go away. After a moment, it had receded slightly and allowed Stephen to think again. So he placed a hand on top of his bed and hoisted himself onto it. His heart still racing from the initial shock, he took a moment to recover before trying to walk again. This time, he slowly put his left foot on the ground and very gradually eased his weight onto it. It wasn’t long before the ankle started stinging again so he quickly jumped forward and got back onto his right foot.

Stephen limped around his bed and to the dresser his laptop sat on, hoping the whole way there that his recording would reveal something that would make sense of this sprain. Anything captured on video would be helpful. Be it Stephen tossing himself oddly in his sleep, sleepwalking, or even an intruder somehow breaking into his house for the sole purpose of twisting his ankle while he slept. Anything would be more logical than the other possibility.

Pressing most of his weight against the dresser, he stopped his laptop’s camera from recording. Picking it up, he hopped backwards and sat on the foot of his bed. Once it was ready, he played the file from the beginning and tapped the fast-forward button a few times. Over the course of about fifteen minutes he watched nearly nine hours of footage with a tunnel-vision level of focus that he hadn’t used since taking the SAT. Through the entire video, Stephen laid perfectly still in his bed from the time he laid down to the time his alarm went off. Stephen knew he was a sound sleeper but he also knew that he would occasionally toss or turn in his sleep. This, on the other hand, was like watching a lifeless body in fast motion for fifteen minutes. Nor were there any nocturnal intruders. At no point in time could he have sprained his ankle.

Stephen felt his eyes grow wide as his mind almost completely blanked out, leaving only the last thing he wanted to believe. For the second time in a week, his entire consciousness turned to pure fear and became a broken record. This time, it played the words, It’s real, on loop.

Regardless, it was time to start the day. Stephen limped into his bathroom with the broken record echoing through his brains. During a ten-minute shower, he was only present of mind long enough to wash his hair. The rest of the time, his brain continued to echo; It’s real. Afterwards, he staggered to his closet and painfully dressed himself with, It’s real, refusing to shut off inside his head. Going down the stairs, Stephen had to lean himself against the wall and grip the railing with both hands as to keep as much weight off his left foot as possible. With each step, his mind repeated, It’s real. By this time, the single thought had become so prevalent and distracting that he completely forgot about cleaning his teeth, his room or his kitchen. He might have forgotten to eat breakfast if his stomach hadn't growled loud enough to remind him.

If there was anything to be thankful for this morning, it was the fact that this revelation wasn’t so distracting that he’d forget about eating. Now that he knew it was real, he would have to do all he could to keep his energy up. So skipping breakfast was simply not an option. Once Stephen finished breakfast, he found a second thing he could be thankful for. Given, his left ankle was sprained when he fell out of a second-story window. But at least it wasn’t his right ankle. Otherwise, driving to work would have been a painful experience.

If it weren’t for the ambience of the surrounding traffic, the drive towards work would have been silent as he analyzed the situation. Equestria and Ponyville were real. That meant everything Twilight said was real. That meant everything that happened to Stephen during the last five nights was real too. He had already woken up with several bruises from Twilight’s diagnostic spells and now he had sprained his ankle too. But these were minor injuries considering everything else that could have happened. What if Twilight hadn’t been at Pinkie Pie’s door when Stephen went through the window? He would have hit the hard ground flat on his back or headfirst from at least ten feet up. That would have likely meant a broken back, broken neck, brain damage, crushed skull or any combination. Or what if Applejack or Fluttershy hadn’t been able to save him during his encounters with the timberwolves? Would his human body have simply died while his equine body was being devoured or would Selena have entered his room to find him mysteriously mauled and gnawed on? What horrors did future nights have in store for him?

These thoughts continued until he pulled into the pharmacy across the street from the office building. There, he bought an ankle brace, sports wraps and ice packs. Stephen had never sprained his ankle before but he remembered Doctor Stable’s advice as clearly as he would have remembered it if it had been told to him while he was awake. But that was because Stephen was indeed awake when Doctor Stable advised him. There was no denying that anymore. However, he did need to ask a pharmacist to teach him how to wrap his ankle. Thankfully, they obliged. Afterwards, Stephen slipped the brace over his foot and strapped it tight. The added support on the sprained ankle made walking back to his car much easier.

As soon as Stephen punched in, he slowly made his way to the kitchen and threw his ice packs in the freezer. On his way out, he grabbed one of the break room chairs. Ignoring all of the confused looks from his coworkers, Stephen limped to his cubicle with the chair in tow.

Mere seconds after Stephen sat at his desk, Damien appeared at his cubicle’s entrance. “Hey there, Stephen. You know you’re not supposed to take chairs out of the break room, right?”

“I need it today. Any weight on that foot hurts,” Stephen said shortly as he set his left leg on the chair.

“What’s with the cast?” Damien asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s just a brace.” Stephen booted up his computer and did whatever he could to avoid eye contact with Damien. Hopefully ignoring the problem would make it go away.

“Well you’ll have to put that chair back before lunch. What if someone needs it and can’t sit because you’re hogging?” There were at least ten other chairs in the break room and most of the people that worked here went out for lunch anyway. But Stephen didn’t want to argue with Damien, lest he risk causing a problem just four days before his reviews. He had too much on his mind already anyway. “What the heck did you do to yourself anyway?” Damien continued.

Stephen wanted to think up a believable lie. But any chance of that happening was foiled when It’s real, rang loudly and annoyingly through his mind once again. Now too much time had passed and even if Stephen could have thought of something, Damien would have guessed it wasn’t the truth and the problem would only persist. “I fell out of a second-story window,” he said.

Both of Damien’s eyebrows shrugged. “That’s no good,” he said insincerely. “How did that happen?”

“I guess you could say I was horsing around at a party.”

“Well you should know better than to party too much the night before you have to work anyway.”

Stephen felt his exhausted and irritated mind fog up the same way it did when he lost his temper with Spike, or most recently, with Twilight. He was about to snap back but thankfully, he caught himself before he could. “I guess you’re right,” Stephen mumbled.

A smirk appeared on Damien’s face. “Plus, how can you expect to ever get ahead in this company if you don’t act responsibly in your off time? I’ve seen a lot of people lose their jobs when bad habits like that go unchecked.”

What was that supposed to mean? Was it a threat? Was Damien just trying to get under his skin? Whatever it was, Stephen didn’t take the bait. “Yeah, sure,” he said coldly. Clearing his throat, he made sure he was calm before continuing. “If you’ll excuse me, the phone is probably going to start ringing soon. Have a good day.” Stephen made sure his tone was as plain as possible while searching his computer for something productive to do. Out of his peripheral vision, Stephen saw Damien give him his usual cocky shrug before leaving him alone.

For the first time since Stephen started working here, the day actually got easier when the calls started coming in. Whatever Stephen could do to divert his attention away from the broken record in his head was welcome. Even the dense customers were a pleasure to deal with today. On top of that, it was Monday now so the calls were coming in droves. Never before had Stephen taken so many calls with such enthusiasm.

Time flew like a rocket. Before Stephen had even looked at the clock, it was time for lunch break. So he made his way over to the deli next door to get another sandwich. On his way there, he noticed that he missed a call on his cell phone. So after he got his sub and found a place to sit, he returned the call.

The phone rang a few times before a feminine voice answered. “This is Doctor Viknesh’s office, how may I help you?”

Thank goodness, Stephen thought to himself. Even if Equestria was real, perhaps there was something on Earth that could help him. It was a stretch but he’d be willing to try almost anything at this point. Since the issue was somehow sleep related, Viknesh’s office would be a good place to start. “Hello, this is Stephen. I saw I missed a call from you.”

“Actually that was Viknesh looking for you. I’ll get him on the phone.” Smooth jazz music played over the phone when Stephen was put on hold. Having grown up with Jazz, he recognized the song. To keep his mind off worrying what may come of this whole ordeal, he hummed along with the song and bobbed his head while he waited for Viknesh to answer. But then the music became a little too relaxing. Eyes growing heavy and head growing foggy, Stephen shook himself awake before the exhaustion could overtake him and took a bite from his sub.

While he was chewing, Viknesh picked up the phone. “Hello, Stephen.”

Stephen rushed his chewing and swallowed before he was ready, almost causing himself to choke it back up. “Hello, Viknesh. I heard you tried to get a hold of me?” he said, barely managing to keep the sandwich down.

“Yes, I wanted to see how you were doing. Any changes?”

Ponyville is real and I’ve almost died at least twice. “Yes,” Stephen answered while thinking of the realization he made this morning. But then it occurred to him that Viknesh was probably asking about any changes in how he was sleeping and not how Stephen was travelling to a different dimension. “I mean, no.”

“Which is it?” Viknesh asked.

Stephen thought carefully as he spoke. He wanted to tell Viknesh everything he knew. However, if he revealed that he believed his dreams were real or how nervous he was, they might think he was crazy. That would probably bring about consequences he wasn’t yet prepared to deal with. “I’ve been keeping a journal like you asked me to. The prescription put me right to sleep and kept me down for fourteen hours. But I still had those weird dreams and still wasn’t feeling rested when I woke up. However, I did figure out how to take naps without sleeping. When I do that I feel a little bit better when I get up. But nothing has really changed.”

“I see,” said Viknesh. He paused just long enough to make Stephen feel suspense. “I think we might want to schedule you for an observation.”

“Actually, I’ve already observed myself,” said Stephen. “I recorded myself with a webcam last night and watched the video when I woke up this morning. I am definitely not sleepwalking.”

Viknesh sighed. "Okay, but there are other things we can see by observing you that you can’t see by recording yourself with a webcam,” Viknesh said bluntly. “If you’d like, you can send us your footage for your records. But you’ll still need some actual tests. We can be ready for you at the beginning of next month, if that works for you.”

The beginning of next month was still at least two weeks away. Between sleeplessness and Ponyville, how would he survive for that long? “Can’t we do it sooner?” Stephen asked, trying to conceal his nervousness. “If you really think you can figure out what’s going on, shouldn’t we do it sooner?”

“We can try,” Viknesh started sounding concerned. “But it’s unlikely. Why do you ask?”

He didn’t want to tell Viknesh that Equestria was real. But perhaps if the doctor thought Stephen’s dreams and injuries were connected, the process would get sped up for his safety. “Last night I dreamed about falling out of a window and spraining my ankle,” he said as calmly as he could. “When I woke up this morning, my ankle was sprained. I watched the whole video that I recorded. It was nine hours long and I looked like a dead body, flat on my back and wrapped in blankets all night long.” Stephen started mumbling as his composure waned. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before continuing. “I didn’t even twitch or shift so how is my ankle hurt?”

“That is concerning,” said Viknesh. There was another pause before he continued. “Dreams can be pretty convincing. Sometimes people think they’ve been hurt and then start feeling hurt. Now, I know you’ve woken up with bruises before but like I said, those could have been caused by anything. That’s what we’re going to try to find out when we run these tests in a couple of weeks. Was your ankle swollen when you woke up this morning?”

“Not really,” said Stephen. “But after I twisted it in the dream, I laid on an ice pack for a couple of hours.”

“Doesn’t that seem convenient to you?”

Stephen didn’t believe that his brain was powerful enough to make him feel this pain just from believing he was hurt. But he didn’t want to risk pressing the issue any more. “I guess you’re right,” he said with a sigh.

“Try not to worry about it, Stephen. Your dreams can’t hurt you. But let me know if you wake up with marks on your body again. Okay?”

“That works, I guess,” said Stephen. “Even so, it’s been nearly a week and I still don’t feel like I’m sleeping. I’d rather not wait much longer if it can be avoided. Is there anything we can do?”

“Hmm…I can’t make any promises right now but I’ll see what I can do. I’ll call you back and let you know if an opportunity presents itself.”

It wasn’t much, but it was a glimmer of hope nonetheless. “Thank you,” Stephen said enthusiastically.

“Meanwhile, just be sure to relax. Take it easy during the day and remember to keep updating that journal. If you can, try to control your dreams and avoid falling. You’ll be fine.”

“Will do, Doctor. Thanks again.”

“Good luck, Stephen,” Viknesh said before they hung up.

Stephen took another bite of his sub as he thought over his predicament. “This is easy,” he said to himself. “I’m sure they’ll be able to get me in sooner. I just have to stay out of Equestria until then. Then they’ll be able to figure out how this keeps happening and make it all stop, right?” Stephen repeated the sentiment a couple of times in his head before realizing how far fetched it was. But despite that, he couldn’t hope for anything else right now.

MEANWHILE IN PONYVILLE…

The group had congregated at the library. Suitcases were packed and ready to go. Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash conversed as they waited for Twilight to finish preparations. Rarity was as ecstatic as she usually was to visit the city of Canterlot but held her poise while she waited. Unlike Pinkie Pie, who was excitedly bouncing in place as she proclaimed her anticipation for the fun trip ahead. All that was needed now was for Twilight and Spike to triple-check their supplies and materials checklist and review the responsibilities.

“It looks like we’ve got everything,” said Twilight with a smile. “Tell me what you’re going to do while we’re gone,” Twilight asked her assistant.

Spike set down his quill and checklist as he repeated Twilight’s instructions. “Run the library and tend to Fluttershy’s animals like normal. Stephen will appear at Fluttershy’s cottage sometime after dinner. Lead him back here and keep him safe until you get back,” Spike droned, this being the third time he’s recited the list.

“If anyone comes looking for him?” Twilight quizzed.

“Notify you immediately and don’t let them see him until you get back,” Spike said confidently.

“Great, it looks like we’re ready to go then,” said Twilight.

“Oh and don’t forget to take these!” Pinkie Pie zipped up to Spike and dropped a tall stack of board games, four decks of cards and a box of assorted sweets next to Spike. “That way you two will have plenty to do and won’t get bored while we’re gone,” she said with a smile stretching from ear-to-ear. Then her eyes lit up and she started cantering in place. “Oh and don’t forget to lock the windows and close the shutters and watch out for spilled punch and he probably doesn’t want to go up any stairs or play on the second floor of anypony’s house right now just so you know,” she rambled excitedly, making sure to cover every thought she had as soon as it arrived in her mind.

“The train leaves in an hour, Pinkie,” said Rarity pointing to a clock on the other side of the room.

“We’d better get a move-on if we want to get to Canterlot before night,” Applejack said as she threw a suitcase onto her back and lead the other ponies out of the library.

“Okey-dokey!” Pinkie cheered. She gave Spike a hug before grabbing her suitcase. “Have fun!” Pinkie called back to Spike as she skipped out of the library.

“You too!” Spike called back before closing the door behind them.

Spike and Owlicious arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage shortly after dinner. Once there, they went around her house and fed all the animals according to a list that Fluttershy had left for them. Once that was done, there was nothing to do but wait for Stephen to arrive. So they sat and they waited. Then they continued to wait. Then they waited some more.

Eventually, the dragon and owl resorted to playing card games with each other. Spike and Owlicious alternated between games of Memory and Go-Fish for an hour. Then they moved onto board games while Spike picked at the box of snacks Pinkie had left for him and Stephen. The games lasted for a couple of hours before Spike passed out, partly because of the fact that it was past midnight and mostly from extreme boredom. Then only Owlicious was left to wait for Stephen, who never appeared.

Canterlot Archaeology Museum

The sun was setting as the Friendship Express pulled into Canterlot’s train station with Twilight and her friends on board. Tired from the day’s travels, they proceeded to Twilight’s parents’ house, where they spent the night. The next morning, after breakfast and some brief preparations, everyone congregated outside and were ready to start their day at the Canterlot Archaeology Museum when a green mist of ashes materialized over Twilight’s head. The ashes burst into flames, which quickly faded and revealed a small scroll. It was certainly a surprise to be hearing from Spike so soon. Hopefully, nothing happened to them while she was gone.

“What does it say?” Fluttershy asked as Twilight scanned the letter.

When Twilight had hoped nothing happened while she was gone, she didn’t mean it like this. “Stephen never appeared last night,” she said with worry and confusion in her voice.

“What are you worried about?” Rainbow asked, shrugging it off. “He probably just never fell asleep.”

“That’s possible,” said Twilight. “But what if something went wrong on his end?” Twilight started pacing, physically representing the way her mind must have been operating at the moment. “We all agreed he’d spend his nights at the library until we got this figured out. Why wouldn’t he stick to the plan unless something was wrong?”

“He’s fine, Twilight,” said Rainbow. “He probably just got back to his world with a hurt leg and freaked out.”

Applejack walked over to Twilight. “I agree with Rainbow Dash,” she said as she stopped Twilight’s pacing. Applejack placed her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Think about it, Twilight. Gettin’ used to spendin’ his nights here ain’t exactly been easy for him. He’s probably nervous about comin’ back, is all.”

“I hope he’s alright,” Fluttershy said quietly.

“Me too, Fluttershy,” said Twilight. After wrapping up Spike’s letter, she levitated a saddlebag containing her research material onto her back. “Either way,” Twilight perked up. “We’re already in Canterlot and whoever is doing this to Stephen is not likely to quit whatever they’re doing so easily. So let’s get going!”

Pinkie, Rainbow, Applejack and Rarity reared up and cheered their enthusiasm. Fluttershy settled for a smile and nod in agreement. With that, the group set out into the town.

Outside the museum, four unicorns in armor were patrolling the building’s perimeter. Above the museum, several pegasi were changing shifts on the roof. A brown pegasus guard and a white earth pony guard secured the doorway and stopped Twilight when she tried to enter.

“I need to check your bags,” said the white guard.

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the guard as she levitated the bags off her back. "May I ask why? I've never had to be checked coming here before."

“Just a temporary security protocol, Ms. Sparkle,” said the brown guard. “We're just checking for tools.”

“I've only got a couple of books on me. I promise,” said Twilight.

The white guard nodded in reply and opened the flaps of the bag. After a quick glance inside, he closed the flaps and handed the bag back to Twilight. "Here you go. Have a nice visit."

“Thank you,” said Twilight as she put the bags back over her back and proceeded through the doors.

Things were not much different inside. In every hallway there were at least two armored guards standing at attention like statues. Twilight grabbed a map of the museum and led the group to the Eye of Coeus’ location. Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkie and Applejack didn’t notice the guards that much. However, the heightened security, whatever they were there for, was giving Rarity the uncomfortable feeling one might get from being watched. Fluttershy brought up the rear with her head hung low and her eyes alert.

Rarity fell back to walk alongside Fluttershy, who relaxed slightly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such security at a museum before,” said Rarity.

“I don’t really mind,” Fluttershy whispered, not seeming too honest with herself. “Do you think something happened that would call for this much security?”

“I don’t know, darling.” Rarity used a foreleg to lift Fluttershy’s head and straighten her posture. “But it’s probably best if we stand tall and don’t pay them any mind.”

Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, had other ideas. Completely unabated by their stoic glares, she picked one at random and skipped over to him. The armored stallion stood a full head taller than her. So jumping up was required to make eye contact with him. “Hey there!” she said on the first bounce. “What are you doing?” she asked on the second bounce. “Are you guarding something? … Is it fun? … Can I join you?” Pinkie touched down on her last bounce and shuffled next to the bronze-clad guard. Standing as stiff as a board, she adopted an exaggerated version of the guard’s nearly emotionless, yet stern expression. However, she only stayed there for a few seconds before leaning over to the guard. “Hey,” she asked with a whisper and narrow, shifting eyes. “What are we guarding?”

Flanking her hyperactive friend, Applejack pushed Pinkie away from the guard. “Would you quit foolin’ around?” she said sternly. “We’ve got work to do.”

Pinkie sprung forward from Rainbow’s pushing with a giggle. “Alrighty then,” she said as she started back towards the group. A moment later, as if Pinkie’s antics had just been registered, the guard let out an exasperated sigh before recomposing himself.

The group entered a large, windowless room that was covered wall-to-wall with examples of ancient history. As soon as they walked in, Rarity pointed upwards. “I just love what they’ve done with the ceiling!” she proclaimed, prompting everyone to turn their heads up.

The ceiling had a dome of about fifteen-feet in circumference and probably ten feet in depth. Inside the dome was a mosaic depicting the princesses of night and day circling each other with their respective heavenly bodies. The rest of the dome around the Equestrian Diarchal Emblem was painted gold.

Pinkie gave a fascinated, “Neeeaat-ooo!”

“Huh,” said Twilight. “That wasn’t there the last time I saw this place.” She turned her head back down. “But we have other things to focus on. Such as who’s controlling the…” Twilight’s voice trailed off as she scanned the room. Double-checking her map, she confirmed that they were in the right place, she realized that only statue that was listed on the map but missing from the room was the Eye of Coeus.

“It looks like they moved it,” said Fluttershy as she looked around the room. “Maybe to another museum with less guards?”

Applejack looked around and spotted an elderly pink earth pony mare with a white mane and cyan eyes. She wore glasses on her snout and lanyard with the museum logo on her neck. “Pardon me, Ma’am,” said Applejack. “Do you work here?”

“I’m the museum’s manager,” said the mare. “How can I help you?”

Twilight spoke up. “Can you tell us where the Eye of Coeus is?”

The manager looked a little surprised at the question. “You didn’t hear about last month’s robbery?”

“Actually, we hadn’t,” Twilight replied. "Can you tell us what happened?”

“Why do you want to know?” the manager asked. “We’ve already got detectives working on it.”

A masculine voice chimed in. “The more the merrier, I say.” Everyone turned and saw two earth pony stallions wearing security uniforms approaching the group. One had a sky blue coat with green eyes and a short, black mane and tail. His flanks bore a picture of a compass rose. The other was orange with yellow eyes, a crossed fencing foils cutie mark and a messy, brown mane and tail. “I’m Clear Sky,” said the blue pony. “This is Perry Riposte,” Clear Sky motioned towards the orange pony before turning to the manager. “Ma’am, remember when Discord attacked Equestria? These are the ponies who stopped him.”

“Did we overhear that you’re looking for the Eye?” Perry Riposte asked.

“Actually, we wanted to talk to someone who has access to it,” Twilight responded.

Perry turned to the manager. “Let’s give them a chance. Maybe they’ll be able to figure out what happened.” He turned back to the girls. “What can we do for you?” All eyes turned to the manager, who responded with a resigned expression and an approving nod.

“What can you gentlecolts tell us?” Rarity asked.

The manager spoke first. “The museum was broken into one night about a month ago. When we opened the next morning, our night guards were unconscious on the floor. The Eye of Coeus was gone and we had a new ceiling.” The manager pointed up to the dome.

Everyone looked back up at the ceiling, this time with a different type of appreciation. “Well, whoever the culprit is,” said Rarity. “They certainly have a talent for architecture.”

“Did anyone see anything?” Rainbow asked.

In unison, Clear Sky claimed he saw a pony while Perry Riposte claimed to see a dragon.

Fluttershy’s eyes bugged and her ears went flat against her head. “Dragons?” she asked with a squeak.

Perry let out a frustrated sigh. “You were there with me! How is it you could have possibly seen a pony?”

“It was on four legs!” Clear Sky retorted angrily.

“Dragons walk on all fours too. Plus I’ve never seen a pony with narrow pupils,” Perry snapped back.

“Princess Luna’s royal guard?” Clear Sky retorted plainly.

“Are you suggesting one of our Princess’ most loyal servants would have done this?” Perry asked angrily.

“Not at all,” Clear Sky said calmly. “I’m merely pointing out that I’ve seen a pony with narrow pupils before. Besides, how do you know it was a dragon? Have you ever seen a dragon?” Clear Sky asked with a raised eyebrow and snide smile.

Perry opened his mouth to respond but didn’t speak right away. “Not in person,” he said after a moment. “But I’ve seen pictures! I know what I saw! They were big, green dragon eyes.” He widened his eyes at Clear Sky as if to demonstrate what the criminal looked like.

Clear Sky scoffed at Perry. “It was night time. You could have seen anything.”

“Slow down, sirs,” Twilight interrupted. “Why don’t you just tell us the story?”

The two guards relaxed from their debate. Perry took a deep breath before starting his story. “I was on patrol when I noticed the locks on the doors had been opened. So I locked them back up and looked around to see if someone had come in. Then the lights went out so I got out my flashlight and met up with Clear Sky. We heard an explosion come from this room. When we got here, I saw this green spark knock the flashlights out of our mouths. Then I saw something with two big, creepy dragon eyes attack us.”

“And I swear I saw the silhouette of a pony in the moonlight just before I blacked out,” said Clear Sky. “The next thing I knew, it was morning.”

“Hold up just a second,” said Applejack. “Ya’ll are tellin’ me that one pony (or dragon) picked your locks, put out the lights, took you down, stayed long enough to rebuild this here ceiling before makin’ off with a thousand pound statue through those skinny doors and all you saw were eyes and a shadow in the moonlight?”

“That’s silly,” Pinkie Pie giggled. “There are no windows in this room. The only way you’d see moonlight is if there was a big hole in the ceiling.”

Everyone stopped and looked up at the ceiling again. There was a moment of thoughtful silence before Twilight called out, “Pinkie Pie, you’re a genius!”

Pinkie tilted her head to the side and gave a big smile. “I am? I thought I was a pony!”

“The culprit didn’t go back out the door with that heavy statue,” Twilight explained. “He lifted it out through the ceiling and put it back together before he left.”

“Yes, yes,” said the manager. “The detectives already guessed that. But it still leaves a lot unexplained,” said the manager. She turned to the guards. “Are you two certain there was only one robber?”

“Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison.

“I just don’t see how that’s possible,” the manager continued. “A task like that would have required a huge team of unicorns. There’s no way they would have all gone unnoticed.”

“What about the dragon?” Perry asked.

“The Eye was the only thing stolen,” said the manager. “A dragon would have taken everything it could carry. Plus, any dragon strong enough to carry that statue wouldn’t be able to fit in this room.”

Applejack turned to Perry. “You said that you noticed the locks being opened while you were on patrol. Is it possible an employee came in with a key?”

“That’s what we thought at first too,” said the manager. “The detectives already investigated all of the employees. All they found was a lot of dead-ends.”

“What about using magic to force the locks open?” Twilight asked.

“I asked if that was possible to one of the unicorn detectives,” said the manager. “He said he’d never heard of a lock picking spell and was pretty certain that if magic was used, the lock would have been broken off altogether. So we’re certain the locks were picked with hoof tools.”

“So that’s why the guards out front wanted to make sure I didn’t have any tools with me.” Twilight began pacing the floor with a concentrated expression. “Maybe we should check on the Globe of Atlas,” said Twilight.

“Don’t bother,” said the manager. “The University of Manehatten’s History Museum had a similar robbery two weeks ago.”

Twilight paused, tapping a hoof against her chin and pondering various possibilities in her head. Eventually, she turned her attention back to the museum employees. “Thank you for all your help, everypony. We’ll be going now.”

“Good luck to you,” said the manager before their departure.

As the group exited the museum, Rarity approached Twilight. “Twilight, darling, what exactly are we doing now?” she asked.

“I think we should consult Princess Celestia.”

“That was fun!” Pinkie chirped as she skipped alongside her friends.

“What are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked from overhead. “That was a bust. We didn’t find out anything!”

“There are still a lot of questions,” said Twilight. “But it wasn’t a total loss. I have an idea that the princess might be able to help us with.”

“Boy howdy,” said Applejack. “Just think about all that was done in that one night. Who do ya think coulda’ pulled off somethin’ like that?”

“At least we know it wasn’t dragons,” Fluttershy said with a breath of relief. “I don’t know what I’d do if that was the case.”

“Perry Riposte said he saw narrow pupils,” said Rarity. “Perhaps it was a team of Diamond Dogs?”

“What makes you think that?” Applejack asked.

“Think about it. Perhaps Clear Sky thought he saw a pony but in reality, it was a dog that can walk on two legs or run on four. Their eyes, for one who’s never seen them before, could be mistaken for a number of other creatures. The large gemstones used in the relics would certainly catch their attention and they’re quite capable of efficient teamwork when they are willing.”

“But I always thought Diamond Dogs simply hoarded gems,” said Twilight. “Why would they want to bring Stephen to Equestria?”

“I think I believed them when they said there was only one thief,” said Applejack. “Any kind of team would’ve needed a whole mess of tools and time that they just ain’t got for one night. Plus it would’a been darn-near impossible to get a whole big group of whatever in and out of there without being seen by anypony.”

“So what do you think it could have been?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well, I’m not sure,” said Applejack. “But if I had to guess I’d say it was a unicorn. Did ya’ll see how that ceiling was put back together?” The group nodded in response. “The other day, Twilight looked up some spells that would help us put the library’s floor back together lickedy-split. The same thing could’ve been done to the museum only...you know…bigger.”

“That would make sense,” said Twilight. “It might also explain what the staff described. Slit pupils are usually a sign of dark magic abuse.” The thought of how much strength would have been required for the task crossed Twilight’s mind, causing her to shudder. “I can only imagine how powerful they’d have to be in order to remove and remodel the ceiling like that by himself and in such a short time.”

“That reminds me,” said Rainbow. “Why the hay would somepony bother putting the museum back together in the first place?”

“Maybe they just wanted to be nice?” Pinkie Pie lightheartedly suggested. “You know, like a, ‘sorry I took your statue so here, have this really nice new ceiling,’ kind of thing.”

“I’m not sure, Pinkie,” said Twilight. “They would have needed to provide all the materials so it must have been a deliberate part of the plan. Do you think that could have been a calling card?”

“A calling card?” Pinkie questioned. “If he wanted us to call him, wouldn’t he have left an address?”

“No, darling,” said Rarity. “A calling card is something a cat burglar might leave at the scene of a crime. Kind of like a signature so all of the victims know it was the same culprit. It’s like a game the thief plays.”

Pinkie’s face took on a confused expression as she raised an eyebrow at Rarity. “Well that game doesn’t sound like too much fun.”

“I still want to know why someone would do all this in the first place,” said Twilight with a slightly frustrated tone. “If Clear Sky and Perry Riposte saw a corrupted unicorn, this could be the plot of an enemy to the princesses. That’s what I was hoping to talk to Princess Celestia about. If the thief is a possible enemy to the crown, she would know. We’ve also got the clue that the theif remodeled the museum’s ceiling to help narrow down the possibilities.”

“If it’s an enemy to the princesses, why would they make a big picture on the ceiling in their honor?”

“Maybe he’s just trying a new way to make friends?” Pinkie chimed in.

The ponies exchanged uncertain looks between each other before collectively shooting down Pinkie’s theory and continuing towards the castle.

When the group arrived at the Canterlot Castle courtroom, they were let right in and greeted from across the room by Princess Celestia’s warm smile. “It’s great to see you again, my little ponies,” Princess Celestia said as she leapt up and glided across the room. After greeting each other with a slight bow, the princess asked, “What brings you here?”

“If you don’t mind, Princess,” said Twilight. “We’ve come to find out if you know anything about the museum robberies that have happened recently.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow at the group. “Why do you wish to know that?”

“We believe the stolen artifacts are being used for a long distance Spirit Traveler spell to bring a pony named Stephen to Equestria from another world,” said Twilight. “We want to find out who’s doing it and why so we can stop it before he or anypony else gets hurt.”

After a moment of silence, Celestia gave them a small nod. “Ever since the Eye of Coeus was stolen from Canterlot’s Archaeology Museum a month ago, I’ve doubled and tripled security efforts at museums around Equestria. But so far,” the princess’ eyes closed and her head lowered slightly. “Nothing has been prevented.”

Rainbow Dash jumped up and hovered a couple of feet off the ground. “So we’ll help you find whoever’s doing this and give them the boot!” she shouted, clapping her front hooves together. “Any idea where we should start looking?”

Celestia looked up at Rainbow and shook her head. “I’m not sure.” Rainbow deflated back to the floor. Celestia turned around and walked towards her throne. “None of my guards have gotten a clear view of the thief and reports vary on what they saw or how many there were. But there is one thing I can be certain of…” Celestia turned to face the group. “…The mastermind of the robberies is a very powerful unicorn.”

“How do you know?” Twilight asked.

“Allow me to show you,” Celestia turned her attention to the vases full of flowers sitting on pedestals next to the throne. Celestia magically lifted one up and carried it back towards the group. “The Eye of Coeus, the Globe of Atlas and the Stone of Sisyphus are all magical amplifiers that equal the Elements of Harmony in terms of raw power. They used to be hidden across Equestria but over the last few decades, have been uncovered one-by-one by archaeologists and their existence became publicly known before I could hide them again.”

“Pardon me, Princess,” said Applejack. “What if you just took the statues back? Seein’ how you didn’t want anypony knowin’ ‘bout them and all.”

“My hope was to make ponies believe they had no powers so anyone who might want to use their magic for evil would not think to use them. If I were to suddenly hide them when they’re already well known, they would draw even more attention. When asked what I thought about the statues having powers, I tried to say they were merely legends. But it looks like somepony started believing those legends.”

Celestia raised the vase up with her magic. For a moment, her horn turned a light blue and a clear box appeared around the vase. Then her eyes started glowing a bright white and the room was filled with a blinding light. When it resided, Celestia folded her wings back to her sides. Everyone watched as the box around the vase began glowing with a bright cyan light. After a few seconds, the box became clear again and Celestia looked to Twilight. “Twilight, will you please move the box?” she asked cheerfully.

Still recovering from the flash of light, Twilight blinked a couple of times and regained her visual focus. “Uh…Certainly, Princess,” she said. Once she felt ready, she focused a little magic on the box and tried to pull it from its place. It felt like she was trying to move a boulder by a rope tied to her horn. She tried once again with more effort but the box still didn’t move. Taking a deep breath, Twilight powered up her horn as much as she could and with the same telekinetic force she once used to simultaneously levitate an Ursa Minor and an entirely filled water tower, she heaved on the box. She would have had a better chance at uprooting the Ponyville library with her teeth.

But maybe there was another way around this? What if Twilight could decode the spell and reverse it? Focusing herself again, she scanned the magical aura around the vase. It felt like an odd combination of weight an anchor spells set on a frighteningly high scale. Upturning the barrier with brute strength might be possible. But it would have required more force than she could presently generate. Decoding and reverse engineering the various weight and anchor spells would have taken time and at least a few attempts. But it would have been possible had not Celestia sealed it again with her magical signature, likely similar to the one she used to lock the doors where the Elements of Harmony were stored.

Regardless, she wouldn’t give up and was about to try again anyway when Celestia signaled her to stop. “That’ll do, Twilight,” said Celestia. “In case anypony believed the relics had power, I placed them under this very containment spell and in places only I would be able to get to. For example, the Cloudsdale Museum of Ancient History.”

“Oh I get it,” said Applejack. “It’s a catch 22. Pegasus ponies can walk on clouds but can’t do magic. But a unicorn who might be able to break your spell wouldn’t be able to walk in Cloudsdale in the first place.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened and she waved one of her front legs in the air, as if waiting to be called on. “Oh! Oh! Oh!” she cried out. “We’ve walked on clouds using your magic before, Twilight. That unicorn probably knows the same spell!”

“Right you are, Pinkie Pie,” Celestia said with a smile. “Twilight is one of the most magically talented unicorns I’ve seen in a while. That’s how I know it must have taken an extra powerful unicorn to decode my spells and pull off these robberies.”

“The guards there described seeing dragon’s eyes,” Fluttershy noted with a nervous gulp. “We think the thief might be using dark magic.”

“We also noticed they have a penchant for architecture,” Rarity added.

“Yeah! Did you see the super-duper new ceiling as a present for the museum?” Pinkie blurted.

“Ah yes,” Celestia giggled slightly. “The new dome ceiling and that lovely mosaic of my sister and I,” a smile came to her face but was quickly replaced by a pondering expression. “The work is actually a little reminiscent of one of my former students.”

“Alright, now we’re getting somewhere!” Rainbow called out. “Which student was it?” she asked, flying up to Celestia.

Celestia smiled at Rainbow’s enthusiasm. “He was my protégé nearly three centuries ago. I doubt he’s still around to perform such a task,” she said with a chuckle.

“Darn it!” Defeated again, Rainbow dropped back to the ground.

“Twilight,” said Celestia. “You said a pony was being summoned to Equestria with a Spirit Traveler spell. Where is he now?”

“We think he’s at his home world,” said Twilight. “I’m not certain why, but the Spirit Traveler spell he’s under only takes hold and brings him here once he falls asleep there.”

Celestia thought for a moment. “What kind of pony is he?” she asked.

“He’s an earth pony,” said Twilight.

Celestia paused and her expression became vacant. After a long moment, she seemed to come back into the room. Her voice became very serious when she spoke. “We may not know who’s doing all of this, but I think I might know where they’re going next. If I’m right, than regardless of who it is, I’ll know what to do.”

Rainbow Dash stood straight and puffed out her chest. “If there’s anything we can do to help, just name it!”

“Actually, I know something you can all do. Please follow me.”

Celestia led the ponies out of the courtroom and across the castle to the massive marble pillars, purple walls and stain-glass windows of Canterlot Tower. Once there, Celestia gracefully strode to a massive pink, purple and indigo door with jewel-incrusted gold molding on either side. Lowering her head, she inserted her horn into the keyhole in the middle of the door and injected some of her power. One after another, the seals on the door illuminated until half of the door was glowing a bright blue. Then it slowly opened, allowing the princess to remove the bejeweled case inside.

“Take these and go to Appaloosa. About fifty miles southwest of where the fertile soil ends, you’ll find a small step pyramid with a golden key inside. The key is invisible and won’t appear unless our culprit is using the relics to remove its seal. It’s imperative that key remains hidden in the pyramid.”

“But if the key is invisible, how will we know if it’s still there?” asked Pinkie.

“If the shrine inside the pyramid stands, the key is in place,” Celestia replied. “Nopony has been in that pyramid since shortly after Luna and I defeated Discord. If that’s where the thief’s next move is, he won’t be expecting anyone to be there. If guards are posted anywhere near it, he’ll know what to expect and attack accordingly, just as he has at the museums. You might be able to catch the culprit if you catch him by surprise. With the Elements of Harmony, you will be able to neutralize any dark magic the thief might be using.”

Twilight levitated the Elements’ case up and rested it on her back. “You can count on us, Princess.”

Celestia turned around and gazed out of a southern-facing window. “I know I can,” her tone was sincere, but there was a level of concern in her voice that none of them had ever heard before. “But these stolen relics are capable of much more than any book will tell you. If they have fallen into the wrong hooves, Equestria would be in great danger. Please be very careful.”

Twilight stood tall. “We’ll be alright, Princess. I promise!”

“You’ll want to head home to prepare,” said Celestia. “Spike will have more specific instructions waiting for you. Good luck, everypony.”

With a respectful bow, the group made their way back to the train station.

Second-Biggest Fear

While Princess Celestia was briefing the Elements of Harmony on their mission; Selena was driving nervously to Stephen’s house. The previous eight hours of picking up the slack for several coworkers that had suddenly quit had left her with tense shoulders and a need to vent her frustrations to someone. But as she crossed an intersection, her stomach sank the same way it might in anticipation for a monster to grab a defenseless victim in a horror movie. Why was the drive giving her this feeling?

A vision from twelve months ago played in Selena’s mind. She’d never forget the way he contained his furiousness as he told her about how Damien had framed him at work. Or how nervous he became as he explained how he might get demoted or even worse lose his job over this drama. Time flashed forward and she remembered being as relieved as he was when the incident blew over with only the consequence of a delayed annual pay raise. Then a couple months later when he told her of possibly being promoted should he do well at his next annual review. Since then, he had doubled his efforts at work, possibly in an attempt to make up for the incident a few months prior.

How can someone try that hard at something for so long and not get tired out? He must be feeling so much stress right now. The final piece of the puzzle snapped into Selena’s mind and the revelation caused her to gasp aloud. Stress can cause someone to feel tired all the time or maybe even have bad dreams. Then they might get a short temper or have trouble focusing – all of which had been happening to Stephen over the last week.

But the revelation came with a few new questions. Such as how could she help if she’d never seen a problem like this before? Would it be wise to confide her day’s frustrations to Stephen? What if she accidentally added more stress to what he was already feeling?

Yes, it all made sense now. It was because of these concerns together with Stephen’s crankiness that was causing being with him to lose its usual pleasantness. Yesterday was the best example she could think of. She played back the memory of arriving for her usual after-work visit to find him silent with an expression that made his eyes while facing possible unemployment look bold and courageous by comparison. Although he acted like nothing was wrong, Selena could see through him and wanted to know what could have been bothering him so badly. Why didn’t he give a direct answer when she asked? As her mind remembered the way he distanced himself from her attempt to reach out, her adrenal glands remembered, in great detail, the shock and uncertainty of what to do next and her heart remembered the ache caused by being denied.

Perhaps she could have eventually found out what was wrong. Unfortunately, their visit was cut short by her parents calling and asking her to come home and visit with some relatives that had just flown into town. Or maybe it wasn’t unfortunate since it gave her a chance to separate herself from the situation and figure out if there was a way she could help. Perhaps she just couldn’t handle seeing Stephen that way at all?

Selena attempted to suppress another churn in her stomach by reminding herself of the conclusion she had drawn last night. Stephen just needed some time to himself to cool off. She also had a plan. First, she would have Stephen try some other video games with her. Then she’d sit him down and briefly tell him about her day before moving on to getting whatever was bothering him off his chest while she made dinner. Then they would cuddle with a movie and perhaps she’d spend the night and see him off to work in the morning. It was a foolproof plan with a one hundred percent success rate in the past. There was no reason to not have high hopes today would be better so there was no reason to feel nervous…hopefully.

As soon as she exited her car, she was startled by the sounds of growling, pounding drums and wailing guitars resonating from Stephen’s house. What could possibly be going on in there? Stephen didn’t like this type of music. Some of his friends did, but Stephen’s was the only other car in the driveway so it wasn’t likely he had other visitors. Even so, they never played music this loudly. Something simply wasn’t right with this picture.

Selena made her way to the door with a pounding heart. Reluctantly, she tested the knob. The unlocked knob turned in her hand and the door cracked open. She peered inside, hoping to see Stephen right away, but he was nowhere to be seen. Forcing herself into the house, she slowly made her way from the mudroom and into the kitchen with the loud music vibrating through the floor.

There was no part of this that made sense. What if Stephen was in trouble? What if someone was in his house unwelcome? Selena shuddered to think about all the things that could imply and what could happen if she got caught interrupting whatever was going on. She seriously considered turning around and coming back another time as her feet carried her to the living room, almost against her own will.

The first thing she noticed was Stephen dancing erratically about the room. He seemed to be favoring his right leg as he moved about. “…When I awaken, discover that I’ve been damaged by your world!~…” Stephen tried to sing along with the song but horribly failed in his attempts to match the singer’s distorted growl.

The next thing Selena noticed was the state of the living room, which looked like the Tazmanian Devil had gone through it. One of Stephen’s chairs and a couple lamps had been toppled over and the floor was littered with wrappers of various candies and protein bars. Used plates, coffee mugs, and large energy drink empties covered every flat surface. Scattered about the coffee table in front of Stephen’s sofa was a case filled with energy shots, half of which had been opened and emptied as well.

“Stephen, what’s going on?” Selena had to shout at him over the music.

Stephen snapped up straight and looked at her. “Hey, Selena, how are you doing? I’ve missed you. How are you doing?” he stammered, talking abnormally fast.

His words just barely made it to her ears over the vicious music. In an instant, she was forced to scrap her whole plan and replace it with…she wasn’t sure what. But the first item on the new list was to rush over to the entertainment system and lower the music’s volume. “Stephen, what’s going on here?” she asked once the floor had stopped vibrating.

“Just dancing. Want to join me?” Stephen’s eyes lit up and a grin came across his face. “Oh!” he shouted. “I learned a valuable lesson about my inner child the other night,” he said as he wandered to the other side of the room. He was limping slightly.

“Why are you limping?” Selena asked.

“Nevermind that,” he said. “Check this out. I went digging around in my old stuff and found this!” He pointed to two towers of Marbleworks toys that he had set up, one much taller than the other. The box was lying at an awkward angle on the stairs just a few feet away. “Watch this!”

Stephen dropped a marble at the top of the taller tower. It went through a couple of low resistance obstacles before dropping down a steep ramp piece. Arching through the air, the marble landed cleanly into a funnel at the top of the left tower and continued to dance through a few, slightly more impressive obstacles before landing in the bottom tray. “Isn’t that awesome?” Stephen brayed. “It only took me one try to set that up. I could probably do something cooler but I thought to myself ‘wouldn’t this be even more fun with the love of my life doing it with me?’ So I waited for you. What do you think? Want to give it a try?”

That’s when Selena noticed the pick stuck in Stephen’s afro. Why was that there? Granted, that might be a fashion statement for some people. But Stephen had never done anything like that before. Who was this man and what did he do with her boyfriend?

The second action item appeared on her plans for the night as ‘stop your eyes from popping out of your head’. Selena shook herself back to her senses and looked up at Stephen. As calmly as she could, she said, “Stephen, I want you to settle down and tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong,” Stephen hastily replied.

As Selena made her way over to him, candy bar wrappers crunched under her feet. “You’re really bad at lying,” she said as she reached up to put her arms around his neck. Stephen must have confused the gesture for an advance because he went to put his arms around her hips. Before he could get a grip, she pulled his head down a few inches to her eye level. Thick, red and jagged lines were coursing through his corneas while his eyes carried stuffed suitcases. A little grossed out, she let go of his head and grabbed the afro pick out of his hair as she took a step back. “Gosh, Stephen. When was the last time you went to sleep? And why was this in your hair?” she asked, showing him the pick before setting it down on a nearby coffee table.

“Oh whoops!” he chuckled. “I forgot I was doing that.”

Selena furrowed her brow with an unspoken question of how someone could forget that they were picking their hair while they were doing it. “Okay…What about my other question?”

Stephen raised an eyebrow. “What other question?”

Did he seriously forget? She asked him not ten seconds ago! “How long has it been since you last slept?” she repeated.

Stephen paused and Selena could see him trying to forge an answer behind the bloodshot eyes. She could tell for a moment that he was going to try to lie again. However, his silence remained and he considered other options. By the length of the pause, there must have been a lot to consider. Eventually he sighed and lowered head. “I haven’t slept in over a week,” he said in resignation.

“What are you talking about? We fell asleep together twice last week.”

“Yes, but I wasn’t really sleeping,” he said reluctantly.

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Remember those dreams I told you about?”

“Yes.”

“I figured out why I never feel like I’ve slept when I wake up. It’s because I’m not really sleeping and they aren’t really dreams.”

“Stephen, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s all real, Selena. Remember when I told you about how I got beat up? I woke up that morning with bruises all over my body.”

“Bruises? Are they still there?”

“They’re almost gone now because it’s been a week.”

Selena pressed her hands on Stephen’s chest, turned him around and walked him to the sofa. After pressing on his shoulders, he sat down and she knelt in front of him. “Let me see,” she commanded.

Stephen sighed and lifted his shirt. “The biggest ones were here and here,” he said, pointing to some spots on his chest.

Selena ran her hand up his torso. She found two splotches where he had pointed. But they were small and had such low contrast to his complexion that they took effort to see. “These could have been done by anything. You do realize you’ve been sort of clumsy the last week, right? Maybe you bumped into something. Plus, why wouldn’t you tell me if you woke up with bruises?”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” said Stephen. “But they were much bigger than they are now, I swear!” He lowered his shirt and lifted his left ankle up to her. “There’s also the fact that two nights ago I fell out of a window and sprained my ankle. When I woke up, this was sprained too.”

Selena, though she had no idea what to do, instinctually wrapped her hands around his left ankle. She gently moved the joint in a circle, causing Stephen to gasp in pain. She immediately released his foot and it fell back onto the couch. Without touching it, Selena looked even closer. She figured that an injured body part would have some sort of visible sign like a bruise, swelling or loss of flexibility. That simply didn’t appear to be the case here.

However, the concern on Stephen’s face was real. She had to think of something to say. She bought herself some time by sitting up on the sofa with Stephen and pulling his head into her chest. He seemed to relax a little while she held him there and tried to think of what to do next.

The song on Stephen’s entertainment center changed to one with a very heavy drum solo opening. “I didn’t know you liked this type of music,” she said.

“I don’t. It’s loud, obnoxious and I can’t figure out why the singer is so angry.”

“Then why were you blasting it so loud?”

“Because I’ll never be able to fall asleep like that.”

Selena quickly stifled surprise and frustration before she said, “You’ve been keeping yourself awake?”

“Yes.”

“How long?”

“Technically, since yesterday morning.”

“Are you nuts?” her voice shot up at Stephen before she could contain it. “How the heck do you even do that?”

“It’s easy…Sort of…I just have to eat a lot. Coffee stopped working so I found out that if I mixed it with energy drinks and energy shots…well it tastes absolutely terrible but it also makes me feel like the Energizer bunny for a couple hours. I keep the music on really loud all the time and I’m always dancing or playing video games or watching a horror movie. Then I discovered I still had Marbleworks. Doesn’t that sound like fun?” A big smile contradicted the tears forming in Stephen’s eyes as he let out a painful sounding giggle.

Selena still couldn’t think of anything. The only suggestion she could make was the same one that Stephen had so quickly shot down the last time she made it. But she had to say something now or she might not be able to do anything at all. “Stephen,” she said quietly as she ran her fingers through his thick hair. “You need help…now.”

“I know,” said Stephen. Selena felt hope for a moment. “That’s why I’m glad you’re here.”

“What?”

“You can help me stay awake until I have my next doctor’s appointment and we figure out how to stop me from going to Equestria.” With that, Selena was officially lost. “It’s only a couple of weeks from now. We can do that, right? Then we can tell the Guinness Book of World Records about how much fun we had together. The current record is eleven days. I’m already at seven or eight. Doesn’t that sound fun?” his faked optimism was reinforced by the return of his pain-filled chuckle that almost caused Selena’s stomach to turn over.

“Stop!” Selena shouted.

Stephen blinked a couple of times. The water in his eyes cleared up and he seemed to be back to his usual self – for the moment. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“That’s not what I meant by ‘help’, Stephen,” she said bluntly.

They were silent for a moment while the heavy music still played in the background. After the long pause, Stephen shot back up to his feet. “Oh no!” he almost shouted. “I can’t do that right now. My employee reviews are in two days. I just have to do good until then. If I go get help and tell them what’s been going on they’ll put me in a straight jacket.”

This was it. All of the cards were on the table. Even as afraid as she was, there was no choice but to get him to hear her out. Otherwise…well she wasn’t certain what the alternate option was. That bridge would simply have to be crossed when she arrived there. “I don’t think they’ll commit you, Stephen,” she tried to reassure him. “But we do need to get you help soon. There’s no way this can be good for you.” She grabbed one of the empty energy shots and held it up for Stephen to see. “Look at this!” she dropped it. “Look at all this candy and dishes,” she cried with her arms waving about, pointing to everything in the room. “You’re already delirious. You can’t do this for two more weeks!”

“Selena, I know it’s hard to believe but I’m telling you; Equestria is real. You’ve got to believe me. Think about the injuries I got.”

“The bruises could have come from anywhere. Your ankle could be in your head. You know? You think something happened so you start feeling it. Really, it seems fine to me.”

Stephen was silent for a moment. Then his brow furrowed at her. “Do you think I’m crazy?” he asked.

Now Selena knew what it felt like to have a knife go through her heart. She almost answered right away but her throat choked up and stopped her from responding with her first thought. Her stomach tied itself in knots and her hands started quaking as she finally found the words and forced herself to speak. “I think…I think the stress at work has gotten to you…” It was a compromise, but it would have to do for now. “I’ve been telling you that you need to take a vacation.”

“I know!” Stephen shouted, throwing his hands up in the air and turning around. “That’s why I need to get through this without any interruptions!” He paced around the sofa and towards the kitchen. Selena followed him while he continued to talk. “Think about it. If I can get that promotion, I can take a vacation. I could take you with me. We could go to Hawaii and catch up on all the missed sleep without a single gosh darn consequence. But in order to get that I really need your help right now. I know I look out of it right now but believe me; I’m perfectly fine at work. It’s when I’m home that I need all the help I can get to stay awake. Just until I can get the tests done and the doctors can fix me.”

Selena reached out her hand to Stephen, stopping his pacing just at the threshold of the living room. A smile came across his face as he reached out for it and she gently tugged him towards her. “I’m scared, Stephen. I’m scared for you and I don’t know what to do which only makes me more scared. Please just come with me and we’ll get you help.”

Stephen’s eyebrows lowered and his eyes became glassy before pulling away from her grip. “No,” he said plainly. “I can’t do it.” His voice started to raise again. “Not when I only have a couple of days to go before I can make it all better. I can’t risk going back to Equestria. It’s too real and it’s too dangerous.”

“Stephen…” Selena begged.

“I know it’s hard to believe but you’ve got to think!” his voice continued to rise. “I’ve never had any issues before!”

She had lost him. “Stephen, please!” Selena cried out.

Stephen hunched over and held his head in his hands. “No!” He took two steps to his right and then doubled-back towards the wall. “For the love of all that is holy I’m telling you I’m not crazy!” Selena shrieked when Stephen’s fist cracked through his living room wall. She covered her head and ears with her arms as the shake jostled a coffee table enough to knock over a small picture frame, shattering the glass as it collided with the floor.

The thick fog of exhaustion, fear and frustration cleared itself from Stephen’s mind when Selena’s fearful shriek rang through his ears. His eyes were flooded with information on the current state of affairs such as the disaster area that was his living room and the sounds of the heavy metal mix CD he made that morning still screaming and cursing in the background. A stinging sensation in his hand prompted him to pull it from the wall and examine the reddening scrape on his fore knuckles.

All of that paled in comparison to the heart-ripping feeling of seeing Selena with her forearms clasped over her head, trying in vain to hold back the tears already streaming down her cheeks.

She stuttered and gasped in between several sobs before croaking out, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he said as gently as he could. “I’m sorry.” He tried to reach out to her but she pulled away with a start.

“I’m sorry but I can’t handle it anymore. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t help you, Stephen.”

“What are you saying?” Stephen tried once again to reach out to her but she continued to pull herself away. His stomach churned and his knees grew weak when he realized what he had done and that he was about experience the second-biggest fear he had during this whole situation. He knew he had it coming to him too after that fine display of how well he could control himself under this type of stress. He had known he was susceptible to that. Why wasn’t he able to stop himself now when it mattered most?

“I’m sorry, I just can’t handle this new you.”

Stephen tried reaching out to her once again. “Selena, please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Please don’t do this.”

Selena practically leaped backwards to get away from him. She covered her face with her hands but couldn’t hide the sobs in her voice. “When you’re back to normal…” she choked out. “…Come find me…Until then…I just don’t know what to do anymore…I’m sorry.” Selena’s leaking dam burst. Balling loudly, she sprinted out of Stephen’s house.

Stephen dropped to his knees. The remnants of his sprain shot up his leg and were thoroughly ignored. “Selena…please don’t leave…” Stephen repeated to himself as the sound of Selena’s engine revving and tires screeching down the street stung his ears.

“Madness has now come over me!” Stephen’s stereo system blared.

Stephen shot to his feet and bolted to his CD player. “You’re not helping!” he shouted, giving it a hard slap. The disc protested the abuse by skipping the first two notes of the next song. Stephen responded by going behind the entertainment center and simultaneously pulling every plug out of the wall, causing the outlet to spark. With that, he threw on his shoes and set out his door for a long, painful walk. Without Selena, it wasn’t nearly as relaxing or enjoyable. Nevertheless, he didn’t return to his home until it was time to get ready for work.

Caffeine Catastrophe

“Beaten, why for?”

“Why for?” Stephen echoed the music in his car. His hands clutched the steering wheel as he sped towards the office. His eyes growing heavier by the second, he held them open wide with will power fueled by a desire to not crash on the highway.

“Can’t take much more!” the song continued.

Over the last week Stephen had been deprived of sleep, dropped in a wild forest, chased by timberwolves, put under magical experimentation, bounced so hard that he left an indentation in a giant oak tree, chased by timberwolves again, harassed by a dragon and thrown out of a second story window. As painful as all of that was, bruises and sore ankles paled in comparison to the gaping heart wound of knowing that the woman he’d loved the most would not stay by his side to help him through it. Wasn’t his whole life of perfect mental health enough evidence to take his plight more seriously, if even just for a moment? Wasn’t there any precedence for her to realize that he might actually be having a real problem? Apparently not as all of their history was tossed asunder and unlikely circumstances were confused for insanity.

Stephen’s right foot grew heavier on the acceleration, trying to get to the office as fast as possible to work for a promotion that no longer mattered. If he were to get it, he would have a noticeably higher pay and vacation time. After a few months of saving he would have taken her on a vacation with him, just like she had been suggesting. Hawaii was always the first place on his mind even though he knew it was a stretch. This would have been his ultimate gesture to show her how even though he wasn’t athletic like all of her past boyfriends, he could be even more caring, supportive and dependable than any of them ever could. During his night with Pinkie Pie, he made sure to add ‘playful’ to that list as well. Then he would take her out on the beach and at sunset, he would take a knee and…well it didn’t matter anymore. Selena left him and she took this plan with her. Suffering at this job was nothing more than a pointless habit right now.

The cherry on top of this cluster screw sundae was the fact that he had to rely on this unpalatable noise to keep him safe. How he had been looking forward to a quiet car ride to recompose himself before having to show his face at the office. But it only took his eyes drooping shut once, for just a second, to realize that a quiet car ride was out of the question. How he wished he’d thought ahead and grabbed his work clothes before storming out of his house the day before. Of all the places he walked in silent solitude overnight, why didn’t he think to add the office to that list? His eyes never threatened to close on him while he walked and he wouldn’t have had to grate his ears on this music. But as much as he hated it, there was some truth to the lyrics. Stephen could not take much more.

“One – nothing wrong with me…” The song preached on.

Stephen knew he wasn’t crazy even if Selena didn’t. He knew darn well that his mind had never been able to trick him before so how would it suddenly start now? If Selena couldn’t see that than it’s her fault. Why would he want her anyway if she ran at the first sign of trial in the relationship?

“Two – nothing wrong with me…”

Granted, he’d gotten upset and lost his head for a little bit yesterday. But who wouldn’t snap in a situation like this? It’s perfectly normal to get frustrated when you’re exhausted beyond description and literally can’t sleep. There’s nothing abnormal with being frightened of a world filled with giant, carnivorous wooden wolves, dragons and who knows what else.

“Three – nothing wrong with me…”

Stephen’s job, as monotonous as it was, was not a pointless habit either. As long as he enjoyed eating and having a house of his own, he’d need to work for it. It didn’t matter how much he hated it or if Selena wasn’t around anymore.

“Four – nothing wrong with me!”

Stephen had never been able to fool anyone else before so why was he trying to fool himself now? He had gone his whole life without being confrontational, argumentative or losing his temper on someone, regardless of how upset something made him. Somehow he’d always known that standing up for himself or expressing his true feelings would only cause more problems. So he always rolled with whatever his life and the people in it would throw at him. That being known, why did he suddenly lose his composure and go against the grain of every other decision he’s ever made? Even if he had every reason to be angry, scared and stubborn, he didn’t need to lose control of himself the way he did. He should have retained mastery over his emotions even in these circumstances, but he didn’t. He even had two perfect opportunities to practice before he snapped at Selena, but he didn’t. That’s what was wrong with him and Selena was gone now because of it.

He only had to tolerate the wailing music for another couple minutes before turning into the office’s parking lot. His tires gave a quiet screech as he pulled into a parking space too fast and slammed on the brakes to make sure he didn’t ride onto the curb. After pocketing a few energy shots, he made his way into the office and clocked in.

Between nine o’clock and ten thirty, Stephen’s phone only rang once and it was a wrong number at that. Where was the plethora of customers and suppliers with problems that needed to be solved ringing his phone off the hook like they did on Monday? Almost twenty mind-numbing minutes later, the phone rang again. Fast enough to make an old-western gunslinger proud, Stephen snatched up the phone and greeted them with the same enthusiasm that kept him awake the last two days.

“Hey, how are you doing?” the customer asked.

That wasn’t a question Stephen wanted to be asked right now. “I’m just dandy, sir,” a nervous chuckle escaped and Stephen barely managed to cover it by clearing his throat. “How about yourself?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for asking. I’m told you guys can get me a good deal on linoleum flooring.”

“I’ll bet we can. Do you know how much you need?”

“I’m not sure but I figure about thirty square feet should be more than enough to handle it.”

“If you’d like I can arrange for someone to come out there and see exactly how much you’d need.”

“I might do that but for now can you tell me how much it would be for just the flooring?”

“Certainly…” Stephen paused for just a moment and his train of thought was completely lost. While trying to think of what to do next, his mind went completely fuzzy. Stephen attempted to retrace his steps. The customer just made a request. I was just about to do something for him. What was it? What was the request again?

“Well?” the customer asked impatiently.

Stephen snapped out of the trance and the answer reappeared in his mind. “Ah yes! You said you wanted a quote on thirty square feet of linoleum right?”

“That’s right,”

Stephen pulled out his calculator and his train of thought disappeared yet again. Rolling his eyes at himself, he held the phone away from his ear and gave himself a hard smack on the forehead with the heel of his palm. The number thirty flashed in his head for a split second and when it was gone, a small headache stood in its place. “You said linoleum, right?” Stephen asked.

“Yeah, about three times now, brother,” the customer responded dryly. Before he could forget again, Stephen typed the number thirty into his calculator and looked up their prices for linoleum flooring. Once he had it, he used the calculator to multiply it by thirty and relayed the number to the customer. “Alright, that’s all I need to know for now. Thanks for your help.”

“You’re welcome, have a great day.”

The sound of the customer hanging up was Stephen’s cue to relax, but not for long. His head was light, his eyes were heavy and his mind was fuzzy. He couldn’t allow himself to become delirious here so he trekked slowly to the break room. Once there, his eyes were immediately pulled to an angelic looking coffee pot with just enough left inside for one full cup.

He borrowed a coffee mug from the break room cupboard and stood next to the machine as he fished his pockets for an energy shot. While he was doing that, a smug voice permeated his ears with, “Move, please.” Stephen instinctually stepped to his right and granted Damien access to the cupboard. Damien reached up and pulled out another one of the office’s coffee mugs. Giving Stephen a cocky ‘what’s up?’ nod, he turned towards the coffee pot.

“Whoa, hang on, Damien,” said Stephen. “I was just about to go for that.”

“Well it looks like you weren’t fast enough,” he said as he picked the pot up from the hot plate. “Tough luck, I’m afraid.”

“Okay, look, Damien. I know we’ve always had this thing where you like to patronize me because I won’t do anything about it. But I’ve had some real tough luck already the last few days so could you please give me a break just this once?” Stephen pleaded.

The coffee poured into Damien’s mug. “Didn’t we already have a conversation about controlling our personal lives and not letting it affect how we work? This is going to start reflecting badly on you, buddy.” A full mug in hand, Damien turned around to face Stephen. “Shouldn’t you be at your desk anyway? What if the phone rings?”

“There are two other people here who take calls,” Stephen retorted despite his desire to not risk an argument. It was a slip but he was still doing his best to hold himself together. “I’m just looking for a quick pick up and then I’ll be right back at it.”

“You can always make more.” Damien turned around and grabbed the coffee can, raised his eyebrow at it and set it back down with a chuckle. “Whoops, nevermind. It looks like we’re out. Guess you’ll have to get more during lunch break.”

Lunch break was still an hour-and-a-half away and Stephen doubted he could wait that long. He took a long, deep breath in and exhaled as slowly as possible, hoping it would relax his tensing shoulder, neck and jaw muscles. “I thought it was good etiquette to replace the coffee when one uses the last of it.”

“Wasn’t it you going for the last of it when I came in here though?” Damien had a look in his eyes that mixed all the worst parts of maliciousness and pleasure and was shooting it straight at Stephen as he pressed the mug to his lips and tilted it back. Stephen’s rage increased incrementally with the angle of the mug’s tilt. At least ten seconds later, with a smile and a sigh of relief, Damien set his mug back on the counter. The sound of an empty ceramic cup meeting a kitchenette counter top floated into Stephen’s ears.

Stephen felt his left eye twitch, his teeth grind and every muscle in his upper body become so tense that he couldn’t even move. “Damien…” he called through clenched teeth just before his vision blacked out entirely.

In an instant, Stephen’s life flashed before his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to shout at the top of his lungs about how this man in front of him has been the bane of his existence since elementary school. From repeatedly pushing him off swings in third grade to taunting him throughout middle school, physically humiliating him throughout high school physical education, stealing his first girlfriend in tenth grade, pranking him repeatedly through community college and right to this day doing everything in his power to make Stephen’s work life miserable.

In that same instant, every terrible way he ever wanted to refer to Damien came back to him. He wanted to tell Damien how his body, face and personality bore resemblance to an upright cockroach with missing legs. Or how he wished that he could go back in time and interrupt whatever sinister ritual created this foul excuse for a man, which stood before him.

Maybe Stephen should tell Damien about his week? Nothing would have pleased him more than to spill the details on how he had been abducted, dropped in the wilderness, chased by wolves, beaten up, chased by wolves again, verbally harassed, thrown out of a second story window and lost the love of his life. So there was no patience left for Damien’s nonsense and for once in his life, he should attempt to exhibit an emotion besides elitist smug.

All of these thoughts passed through Stephen’s mind in an instant. But Stephen wouldn’t lose his temper yet. He knew better than that by now. Someday would come when there wasn’t so much on the line and he would know all the nicest possible ways he could convey these feelings. That day would be a good day. But it was not today. Today was certainly not a good day and it was very suddenly made even worse by Death’s icy grip clasping onto Stephen’s shoulder. It was also of note that Death’s hand was surprisingly big and meaty.

Wait a second, how long have I been zoned out? Stephen asked himself.

“My office now!”

The extremely rare sound of Kramer’s infuriated voice snapped Stephen back to reality, where he found himself still in the break room. But it was different than it was when his vision left him. For example, Stephen could now smell the coffee on Damien’s breath. Damien, himself, looked like he’d seen a pink elephant and for once in his life, was at a loss for words. Out of his peripherals, Stephen could see at least three coworkers standing at the doorway of the break room. Every muscle in Stephen’s body locked into place as his eyes tried to jump out of his head and his heart attempted to escape through his throat.

Stephen barely managed to gulp his heart back down. “I said all that out loud, didn’t I?” he asked quietly. He received silence in response. But that was answer enough. There wasn’t any other reason that these people would be there, staring at him.

Kramer released Stephen’s shoulder and stormed towards the door into the offices. “You too, Damien!” he shouted on his way out. The other employees parted like the Red Sea to make way for him. Without a word, they all filed away from the doorway and resumed their duties.

“You’re a piece of work, you know that?” Damien quipped before leaving the break room.

Stephen’s muscles continued doing a perfect imitation of a man who was part of an alternating electrical current. The full reality of the situation slowly sunk into Stephen’s consciousness until it dropped into the pit of his gut like a ton of lead. His stomach churned and his gag reflex prompted him to rush to the bathroom. He barely made it to a toilet in time to lose his breakfast.

Clutching his stomach and barely recomposed, Stephen entered Kramer’s office. Kramer was sitting behind at his desk, his blazer was off and his tie was loose. His fingers were tapping loudly against the desk as he glared at the door. Sitting behind his right shoulder was Kathy. She was a tall, blonde, early thirties woman who had the same build as five pencils taped together in the form of a person. Her arms were crossed and she was trying to not look at Stephen with her miffed expression. Damien was sitting on Stephen’s right, reclined in one of Kramer’s office chairs with his legs crossed and his head resting on his hand. His eyes were glazed and his face was expressionless.

“What took you so long?” Kramer asked angrily.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Stephen meekly replied.

“Have a seat,” Kramer ordered. With the very weight of the air being almost too much to bear, Stephen practically fell into the chair. The air got even thicker as an uncomfortable silence loomed for several painful seconds, eventually being broken by Kramer. “Kathy, you may begin.”

Stephen wasn’t looking at her. But judging by the heat he felt on his cheek, which seemed to be emanating from her direction, he could tell she had turned to look down on him. “Are you aware that I had to bring my three-year-old daughter into work today?” her voice was soft but the contained fury behind it cut like a razor.

Stephen leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands. “No, ma’am,” was all he said.

“Well you might not know this but sometimes, when you’re a mother, your day care has to close for a day and nobody can babysit for you. But if money is tight you might not be able to afford a day off. She’s well behaved enough so Kramer said she could come in with me. So I figured ‘why not? I work in with nice enough people. What could go wrong?’ What I did not expect was one of my coworkers throwing a vulgar tantrum in the break room for everyone to hear!” Kathy was holding back shouts by the end of her speech.

“I’m sorry.”

“My daughter is at a very impressionable age,” Kathy continued. “The last thing I want right now is for her to learn words like…” Wondering what brought on the sudden pause, Stephen glanced up. Kathy’s face had turned red. Her lips were locked and her eyes were looking away. “…Mother…pheasant plucker…” she forced out with very deliberate annunciation. Damien sniggered, prompting dirty looks from Kathy and Kramer. Damien responded by clearing his throat and sitting up properly. Kathy turned her attention back to Stephen. “That among other words I’d rather not repeat. What if my daughter goes to day care and uses those words? Do you know how that would reflect on me, Stephen? I should be able to come to work with confidence that all of my coworkers can operate above a ninth-grade maturity level.”

Kramer held up his hand at her. “You’ve made your point, Kathy.” Folding his hands on the desk, Kramer glared at Stephen. “What is your response, Stephen?”

“I’m sorry,” Stephen repeated at a volume he’d come to expect from Fluttershy. “I didn’t mean it.”

“You may leave now,” said Kramer. With that, Kathy walked out of the room. When the door closed, Kramer turned his head towards Damien. “Now, Damien, why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“Heck if I know,” Damien shrugged. “I went into the break room for some coffee and Stephen practically went postal. You heard the stuff he was spewing out.”

Kramer raised an eyebrow at Damien. “Is that the extent of it?” he asked.

Damien gave a confident nod. “Yeah that’s just about it. I go in, get my coffee, casually toss off a joke about how he’ll have to get more and he lost his mind.”

Kramer groaned and leaned back in his chair. Rubbing his eyes with a hand, he waved towards the door with the other. “You’re excused, Damien.”

“Thank you,” said Damien as he rose from his chair. Just before he walked out the door, he turned back around. “By the way, I’m pretty close to closing that deal with the county.”

“Good…good…Keep it up,” Kramer droned as the door closed behind Damien. Stephen’s heart sank into his shoes when he returned to being the center of Kramer’s attention. There was a long, awkward silence as Kramer straightened his posture, folded his hands on his desk and stared Stephen down. “What’s gotten into you?”

Stephen shrank in his chair and tried to look away. “Just…just a lot of personal problems, sir. I’m sorry.”

“So what happened in there?”

“I don’t know,” Stephen choked out. “I honestly don’t know. I just blacked out. I didn’t know I was saying anything. That’s never happened to me before. I just…”

Kramer held up a hand and Stephen immediately stopped talking. After a moment, Kramer spoke again. “I run a tight ship here and it’s no secret that I expect nothing but professionalism from my employees.” Kramer’s voice very rarely carried any real tone or emotion to it. He was known around the office for his droning. But this seemed like an entirely different Kramer. His voice was booming inside the office. Emotion on his face was an even sparser sight. But now his eyes were wide, his brow was furrowed and he was glaring at Stephen like an awoken dragon. “This is so we can all come here, work hard, earn our pay and go home to spend a nice night with our personal lives as quickly as possible. This can’t be done if there are distractions such as employees feuding in the break room. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Stephen mumbled.

“Now then…this is not your first issue with Damien and I won’t run the risk of there being a kink in my machine. But I know you’re a good worker. I also don’t want to be the jerk that lays-off a man who’s obviously already got enough on his plate as it is. So here’s the deal;” Stephen perked up with a glimmer of hope that he would be pardoned. “Go home.” That hope was instantly deflated. “Go home and take a break for a while. When you’ve gotten your act back together, come talk with me and maybe we can work something out. Does that sound fair to you?”

Stephen breathed deeply and lowered his head. “Does it matter?” he asked.

Kramer raised an eyebrow and stroked his chin once. “I suppose it doesn’t,” Kramer’s voice returned to its usual drone. “But it’s better than nothing, isn’t it?”

With that, it was official. Stephen had nothing left. He took a moment to summon every ounce of strength remaining in his body to pull himself to his feet. Kramer rose up with him and followed him as he trudged out of the building. The journey out might as well have been the green mile with the way he felt. Once they were outside, Stephen shook hands with Kramer. When they separated, Stephen dragged himself back to his car and Kramer disappeared behind the tinted glass doors of the office building to return to his managerial duties.

Stephen drove home faster than he had ever drove before. Deciding he’d already been tortured enough today, he opted for a radio station that was playing Beethoven’s 5th symphony. Stephen kept his mind off his troubles by overzealously pretending to conduct the orchestra until he pulled into his driveway. Whereupon he rushed into his house and up the stairs as fast as he could with a limp.

Tackling his mattress, the full reality of the situation flooded him a second time. His sinuses filled, making him to breathe through his mouth. His chest ached and heaved with his labored breathing. Teams of jackhammers were hard at work inside his skull. A single tear escaped his eye and ran down his cheek to get absorbed by his pillow.

Stephen locked his eyes shut and clutched his face. “I don’t care anymore!” he shouted to the heavens. “I’ve lost my girl and my job and it’s only a matter of time until I lose everything else!” Stephen pounded his mattress with a fist. “Whatever I’m wanted for, I don’t care anymore!” he continued to shout. “Please! I’ll do anything to make this stop and get my life back!” Stephen relaxed with a few deep breaths and opened his eyes. A couple more tears escaped as he said, “Just take me so I can get this over with.”

Departure

Stephen’s whole body went numb as his vision faded to blindness. For a few frightening seconds, he remained in darkness, unsure of what was happening and unable to move. Relief came in the form of oversaturated, softly focused shapes appearing in the darkness. Bit by bit the shapes and definition came into focus, revealing a familiar cottage living room decorated predominantly by homes for small animals. He was now looking forward while lying curled up on his stomach as opposed to looking up at a ceiling while lying on his back. Stephen knew he was no longer in his air conditioned home when the warmth of high noon on a late spring day washed over his body.

A high-pitched, low-volume shriek brought his attention to his left, where Fluttershy was standing stiff with wide eyes and erect wings. After a moment she seemed to register what happened and relaxed. “Oh…Hello, Stephen. You startled me.”

“Sorry about that. Are you alright?” Stephen asked.

“I’m alright,” she said, moving some of her long mane out of her face. “I just get a little scared when somepony appears from nowhere like that.”

“I could imagine I’d feel the same way.” Stephen climbed down from the couch, minding his left hind leg. Setting it down last and slowly, a small sting emanated from the ankle but it was barely noticeable compared to Sunday night when he acquired the injury.

Minding the leg seemed to garner Fluttershy’s attention. “How does your leg feel?” she asked.

“It’s better but it’s not completely healed. I think I walked a lot of it off last night.”

“Would you like your brace?”

Stephen lifted the hoof up and set it back down, noting the light pricking sensation upon contact with the floor. “Some extra support wouldn’t hurt.”

“Then relax and I’ll get it for you.” Fluttershy made her way to the other side of the room. “This will only take a moment.” Using a wing, she opened a low cupboard and stuck her head inside.

“How did your investigation go?”

Fluttershy came out of the cupboard with the brace in her mouth and walked it over to Stephen. After passing it to him, he sat up on the couch and tried to put it on. “The investigation didn’t go well at all,” Fluttershy sighed. “We got to Canterlot and found out that all the statues we were looking for have been stolen.”

“Any idea who did it?” Stephen asked as he fumbled his first attempt to strap his brace with hooves.

Fluttershy shook her head. “All we know is that we might be able to find out what the thief is trying to do with the artifacts.”

“That’s sounds lovely,” said Stephen as fumbled with the brace again.

“Here, let me help.” Fluttershy bent down. Using her hooves, she wrapped the brace around Stephen’s leg and then pulled the velcro straps tight with her mouth.

“Thank you.” Stephen stood back up on all fours. With the brace, the sprain was hardly noticeable. “So what’s the plan now?”

Hard knocking came from Fluttershy’s front door. “Hey, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash’s voice called from outside. “You ready to go?”

Fluttershy moved over to the door and opened it. Her friends were on the other side, each wearing packed saddlebags. Rainbow Dash was hovering a few feet off the ground. “We’ve got to get moving. The train leaves in an hour.”

Fluttershy’s ears went flat. “But…Stephen’s here. Wouldn’t it be better if I stayed here with him…where it’s safe?”

Twilight spoke up. “We have the Elements of Harmony in case we come across dark magic, remember? They won’t work unless you’re with us.” Suddenly, Twilight’s eyes went wide and her ears pointed forward. “Wait a second, did you say Stephen is here?” Fluttershy nodded and stepped to the side, letting the other ponies into the cottage. “Stephen, where have you been?”

Stephen, who had been walking towards the door, stopped when Twilight posed the question. His eyes lowered and he took a deep breath, realizing the story was too long and the wounds still fresh. “It’s probably best if I don’t talk about it,” he said quietly. “But I’m here now because of it.”

“Wait, I’m confused,” said Applejack. “I thought you could only be here if you fell asleep in your world. But it’s the middle of the day. Are ya’ll alright? What happened?”

Hoping to get off the topic quickly, Stephen gave the simplest answer he could think of. “I consented to the Spirit Traveller spell.” Stephen resumed his path to the door. He stopped at the doorway and raised his head to looked back at them. “You said we’re going soon, right?”

Everyone filed out of Fluttershy’s cottage after Stephen. Twilight picked up her pace until she was trotting by his side. “I’ll explain everything along the way,” she said before turning to the rest of the group. “I’ll need all of you to go ahead of me to the train station and get the tickets. I’ll meet up with you after I get Stephen to the library like we originally planned.”

“Actually,” said Stephen. “I want to come with you.”

The whole group halted and took a moment to absorb what was just said. “Weren’t you worried about getting hurt a couple days ago?” asked Rainbow.

Stephen turned around to face them. “I am,” he retorted. “But now I just want to find whoever is doing this so I can get them to reverse it. The sooner, the better, which will be easier if I’m with you. So which way are we going?” Rarity pointed west. Rainbow Dash shrugged and flapped off in the direction while Rarity, Fluttershy and Twilight trotted after her.

Stephen attempted to follow them but found his path blocked by one of Applejack’s front legs. “I don’t think this is a good idea, you comin’ along with us,” she stated bluntly with a pinch of worry in her voice.

“Why’s that?”

“No offense, but you ain’t exactly the most athletic of ponies and you don’t handle trouble so well. It won’t be good for anypony if you’re trippin’ up or turnin’ yellow.”

“Not to worry. Pinkie taught me how to be coordinated and I’ll do anything if it means getting my life back to normal.” Applejack stared back at him with an expression somewhere between stern and confused. The last time she saw him perform, he didn’t keep himself composed or follow instructions very well and it almost cost her a sister.

The difference was now Stephen knew about his shortcoming and could mentally prepare for whatever this mission may throw at him. Plus, if he was going to get this ordeal behind him as quickly as possible, he’d have to be determined and willing to take actions he’d never have taken before. This time would be different. He would not allow himself to fail again.

After a couple long seconds, her expression softened and she placed a hoof over Stephen’s shoulder. “Alright, I can see where you’re comin’ from. I promise we can get this fixed up for ya’ll so I just want to make sure you really want to come with us this time.”

Stephen nodded. “Like I said, I’ll be fine.” With that, Applejack set her leg back on the ground and they started walking towards the group.

Pinkie appeared next to Stephen and bounced along his side. “I think it’s a great idea!” she said with excitement. “Having one extra friend to travel with just makes it even more fun! Plus it’s another set of eyes to watch each other’s backs when we’re on super secret spy missions. Oh and the train doesn’t stop very often the further west we go so make sure you use the little filly’s room before we leave. Or in your case it’d be the little colt’s room, wouldn’t it? That wouldn’t be good if you made that mistake. Did I ever tell you about the time I made that mistake?” Pinkie continued to rant as they made their way to the train station. Listening to her and watching her antics allowed Stephen to get his mind off his problems for a moment.

Pinkie was finishing up her story when they arrived at a small wooden building with a colorful locomotive docked on some tracks outside. “…So after I convinced Scootaloo that her scooter wouldn’t make a good hang glider, she put the signs back on the doors. You should have seen how red Big Mac was! Of course he’s always red but still!” Rarity grabbed Pinkie’s attention by tapping her on the shoulder. After passing Pinkie and Stephen their tickets, they boarded the train.

The first thing that Stephen noticed was the cars had been furnished with bunk beds and outfitted with beige blankets and navy blue curtains. Was this world trying to mock him? Each of the seven ponies found a spot they were comfortable with and unloaded their saddlebags just before a bluish-gray pony with a handlebar moustache, monocle and conductor’s uniform came through the car. A couple minutes after punching their tickets, the whistle blew and the train began to move.

Stephen opted for the bottom bunk near the back of the car so he could watch the scenery go by while attempting to nap. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the events of the last twenty hours and their implications on what his future held off his mind. The occasional bits and pieces of the others’ conversations sneaking into his ears provided momentary relief from the grim predictions that plagued his thoughts. Regardless, he continued his attempts to ignore them and to clear his mind so he could rest.

“Hey, Stephen!” Rainbow called out with her head lowered from the top bunk. “Want to play some card games?”

Stephen sighed. “Not right now, Rainbow. Thanks though.”

“Okay but we’re not getting into Appaloosa until tomorrow morning so let me know when you get bored.” With that, she flipped herself over. Dropping to the car’s floor, she searched for someone to play with.

I should probably close that curtain, Stephen thought to himself. Ultimately, he couldn’t find the motivation to move. A few minutes later, the sound of a hoof knocking against the car’s wooden interior brought Stephen’s attention up. He cranked his neck around to see Applejack at the side of his bed.

“Hey there, buddy,” she said with a sincere tone. “You ready to talk about it?”

Stephen turned his head back around and looked out the window. “What do you mean?” he responded quietly.

“You ain’t foolin’ me, sugarcube. You’ve looked lower than a rock in the mirror pond since you showed up. Why don’t you tell me why?” Stephen remained silent. After a moment, Applejack continued. “This whole thing did a number on you back home, didn’t it? Is that why you’re suddenly so serious about comin’ with us?”

Stephen took deeper breaths and locked his eyes shut so nothing could escape. “Yes,” he forced out. “But I’ve discovered that I have trouble controlling my temper when I’m exhausted like this. So it’s best if I just sit here and try to rest up right now.”

“Well when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be around.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”

“There anything you want in the mean time?”

“If you’d close my curtain, that’d be great.”

“Alright, just be sure to rest up, ya hear?” The sound of the metal curtain rings sliding across the wooden bar was a slight relief to Stephen. He might be able to pull himself back together if he’s left alone for a couple more hours.

vvVVRROOO

“Ah!” Stephen yelped in surprise as Pinkie’s burst through the curtain with a noisemaker in her mouth. Stephen would have been startled to his feet if the bottom of the top bunk didn’t harshly stop his head and neck from straightening up.

“Oh!~ Stephen is our best friend and we love him very much!” Pinkie sang. The dizzied Stephen dropped himself back down to the bed to keep from falling off of it. “So it really always makes me sad to see him in the dumps…”

Stephen’s vision fogged up and his mind clouded as Pinkie continued her impromptu song and dance. Once his ears stopped ringing and the cabin stopped spinning, there would be punishment for this assault of unwanted cheering. But he caught himself before those thoughts got much further. Reprimanding Pinkie was not an option. He had already snapped on someone once today and nothing good came of it. Even if Damien had whatever he got coming to him for years, these ponies had been nothing but kind to him and were going way out of their way to help. Even now, Pinkie was only trying cheer him up in the way she knew best.

“There’s no need to wear a frown, your friends are here to cheer you up,” Pinkie disappeared behind the curtain again and came back holding a large lollipop out to him. “So put on a big smile and your day won’t seem so rough!”

Not wishing to seem rude, Stephen gave Pinkie the best smile he could muster and accepted the gift. “I appreciate the effort, Pinkie. I really do.” Stephen unwrapped the candy and placed it in his mouth. Its sweet taste brought a little comfort.

“Is it working?” she asked.

Stephen gave a slight nod before pulling out the lollipop. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“But helping my friends feel better is what I do best.” Pinkie hopped up and sat next to Stephen.

Stephen put the lollipop back in his mouth and thought for a moment. He wanted to rest, but all he could do is think about everything that was going wrong, which made him feel even worse. Perhaps obliging Pinkie would help get his mind off things and allow him to rest more later. Giving his mind a quick scan, he found something to talk about and removed the lollipop. “Maybe I’ll feel better if I know where we’re going and what we’re doing. Fluttershy says you weren’t able to find out anything new about my situation.”

The smile remained on Pinkie’s face as she shook her head and Twilight approached the bunk. “What’s going on over here?” asked Twilight.

“Stephen wants to know what our plans for the trip are,” said Pinkie.

“Ah yes, we haven’t had a chance to tell you yet, have we?” Twilight asked.

“All I’ve heard is that the other statues you wanted to see were stolen as well,” said Stephen.

“It’s all very strange,” said Twilight. “The only clue we had was the thief’s calling card. He stole the artifacts by taking off the museums’ ceilings and then remodeling them with improvements and artwork of the princesses. We also found out that each of the artifacts were under protective spells so they couldn’t be moved. We asked Princess Celestia if she knew anyone who could be strong enough to do that. But all she could do was guess at the culprit’s plan. She didn’t know who might be behind it.”

“So why are we on this train?” Stephen asked, taking a lick of his candy.

“I’ll show you.” Twilight’s horn lit up. A scroll hovered out of her saddlebags from across the car and floated over to them. After setting it on the bed, Twilight unraveled it, revealing a map with an ‘X’ marked in a southwestern corner and instructions written on the sides. “Princess Celestia is sending us to an Equestrian settlement called Appaloosa. From there, we’re looking for a small step pyramid around where this mark is.” Twilight pointed to the mark, which was in a section of the map marked as a desert. “Inside the pyramid is a golden key on a shrine. If the princess’ guess is correct, the thief will try to take it and then she’ll know exactly what he’s planning to do. Our job is to catch him and keep him from getting that key.”

“Back up for a second,” said Stephen. “If whoever we’re dealing with is really that strong, how exactly do you plan on catching him?”

“Princess Celestia said we might be able to do it if we catch him by surprise. I’ve been reading up on strategies that might help us do just that.”

“Where do I come in on this thief’s scheme?”

“I’m actually not sure,” said Twilight. “The princess asked what type of pony you were. I told her you’re an earth pony and she seemed worried. She didn’t say why but she did say that if this key is stolen, then Equestria might be in danger.”

“‘Earth pony’ meaning that I don’t have a horn or wings, right?” Stephen asked. Twilight nodded in response. “And whoever this is wants me for their diabolical plan?” Stephen could almost feel his blood temperature rise. He stuck his lollipop back in his mouth and let the sweet taste work together with some deep breaths to stop himself from reiterating his ‘why me?’ rant from Sunday night.

But what if they managed to catch the culprit? As a prisoner, he wouldn’t be able to go forward with his plan anymore. There’d be no point in keeping Stephen under this spell so there’d be no reason to not reverse it. Now that he was with the group, a lot of time could be cut out between when the thief is captured and when Stephen gets to meet whoever it was that cursed him. Granted, that ideal situation might be a stretch but Stephen preferred to hang onto that rather than feel hopeless. “I like this plan,” Stephen stated through the candy in his mouth. He took it out to ask, “How long until it comes to fruition?”

“We’ll be arriving in Appaloosa early in the morning and we’ll be heading for the pyramid in the afternoon,” said Twilight. “We’ll need to stock up on provisions because Celestia told us to guard the shrine for three days.”

That time frame took Stephen by surprise. “Three days?” he blurted.

“The princess thinks if that thief is after the key, they’ll try to grab it by then if they haven’t already.”

“If they haven’t taken it already?” Stephen asked with a raised eyebrow. “What do we do if we get there and the key we’re supposed to protect is gone? What if they manage to take it from us anyway?”

“My instructions say to come back to Canterlot right away if the key is lost.”

“So what do we do in a pyramid for three days?”

Pinkie sprung up on her feet, keeping her head low as to not smash it on the top bunk like Stephen did earlier. “I brought lots of games and supplies!” Pinkie beamed as she hopped down from the bed to give Twilight an excited hug. “It’ll be like an extra-long sleepover party!”

Rainbow Dash zipped up to Twilight’s side. She eyed Stephen with a wry grin. “That is, once we get through all the dungeons and booby-traps that are waiting for us.”

Fluttershy’s ears perked up and she turned herself around on the bunk opposite to Stephen to face the group. “Do you really think there’ll be dungeons and booby-traps?” she asked with her usual meek tone and a nervous expression.

“Tons of them!” Rainbow cheered, causing Fluttershy’s ears to go flat. “It’ll be just like Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone and it will be awesome!” Twilight gave a roll of her eyes, which tipped off Stephen to think that Rainbow’s theory didn’t hold much water. However, it didn’t help Fluttershy, who was practically quaking from the anxiety. “But don’t worry,” Rainbow continued, throwing a foreleg over Fluttershy’s shoulders. “I’ll make sure we’re safe.”

“Don’t you think I could just wait outside and keep watch?” Fluttershy asked.

“So the thief can know that the key is guarded and pick you off first?” Rainbow asked with a chuckle. Fluttershy responded by shrinking back to her bunk.

Rarity appeared from the bunk on the left. “Not to worry, Fluttershy,” she consoled. “I doubt it would be so dangerous without a warning from the princess.” Fluttershy seemed to relax a little bit with this sentiment. “Although, if I were to join Rainbow’s fantasizing; I can’t wait to see what the shrine looks like. I’ll bet it’s done up with gold and jewels just like Canterlot tower.”

Stephen drifted away from the conversation as the others continued. With a plan being outlined, Stephen became slightly optimistic about what his future might hold. The quicker this was over, the easier things might be to put back together once he got back to Earth. Although he wasn’t yet sure on how he would do that. But at least he could envision a light at the end of the tunnel. Now that an end was in sight, Stephen turned back towards the window and began plotting how he would put himself back together once this was all over.

The train ride was long and boring. Stephen phased in and out of napping every few hours. While fully awake, he’d converse with the group or play a game with Pinkie or Rainbow Dash. A dinner of mixed vegetables, fruit salad, apple cider and a flower sandwich was served later in the day. Stephen wasn’t certain he liked the idea of eating flowers. But encouragement from Rarity convinced him to try it. Perhaps it was because he now had a pony tongue, but it certainly wasn’t a bad tasting sandwich. Pinkie, of course, brought desserts for everyone.

The large, Equestrian moon climbed into the sky and illuminated the wide plains the train was running across in a soft-blue glow as the scenery gradually changed to a sandy desert. One by one, the other ponies drifted off to sleep. Stephen took this time to get a perfectly long and clear-minded rest.

Arrival

Dawn had cracked over the tops of several apple orchards when the train squeaked to a halt in a town that looked like it had been plucked from a spaghetti western. A wave of yawns and creaking joints went through the car as each of the ponies stirred in their bunks. The conductor walked through each car calling out, “Last stop - Appaloosa!”

Stephen pushed his bunk's curtain to the side and looked out into the car to see Applejack fixing her hat to her head, Rainbow Dash stretching out in the aisle, Twilight reorganizing her bags, Rarity styling her mane with the aide of a levitating mirror and Fluttershy sitting up in her bed with a yawn. As Stephen climbed out of the bunk, he assumed the loud snoring coming from above Fluttershy's head belonged to Pinkie Pie.

“Who's up for some breakfast?” Applejack asked after throwing her bags onto her back. “I'm starvin'.”

“Fluttershy, would you be a dear and wake up Pinkie Pie for us?” Rarity asked as she lowered her beauty supplies into her bag.

Fluttershy nodded, climbed out of her bed and hovered to the top bunk. There Pinkie Pie was curled up and snoring loudly. “Pinkie Pie,” Fluttershy said, giving Pinkie's barrel a gentle nudge. “It's time to wake up.” Pinkie responded with a guttural snort and then rolled onto her back to continue snoring.

Stephen watched this go on a few times before realizing this wasn't going anywhere fast. Looking about the car, he found a solution when he noticed Pinkie had left her bags open on the aisle floor. A curled up paper noisemaker was sitting atop her other belongings. Stephen suppressed a chuckle as he reached for the party favor.

Fluttershy was still trying to wake Pinkie when Stephen made his way up the bunk's ladder with the noisemaker in his mouth. A tap on Fluttershy's shoulder gained her attention so he could signal for her to move aside. As she complied, a nervous expression came to her face and she covered her ears. Stephen took a deep breath through his nose. Ready to embrace some small-scale poetic justice for yesterday's head injury, he blew into the noisemaker.

The air rapidly pushed through the paper, unfurling it until it stretched out right next to Pinkie's ear, whereupon it let out a loud, distorted squeak. Stephen had expected her to be startled awake, which is exactly what happened. However, he had not expected Pinkie to yelp and leap off the bunk to latch onto the first thing she could grab like a frightened cat, which in this case, was Stephen's head. They tumbled down the ladder and into the car's aisle.

When Stephen's vision refocused, Fluttershy was hovering over them. “Are you two alright?” she asked.

“My mother once said that vengeance doesn't belong to us,” Stephen groaned. “Now I know why.”

Pinkie burst into a fit of giggles. “You sure got me!” she pealed while getting herself upright. She turned her head to look out the window and then gasped with excitement. “Oh! We've arrived! What are we doing first?”

“Well, if ya'll are done horsin' around, we're going to get some breakfast,” said Applejack.

“Sounds good to me,” said Stephen, getting himself to his feet. Once everyone had secured their belongings, they filed out of the train and into the dusty old-western town.

After a few minutes of walking, the group entered a saloon where a cowboy hat wearing pony was entertaining the patrons with a melody from an out-of-tune piano. Around the room were ponies of various shapes and colors. Some were wearing western accessories like cowboy hats, bandanas or leather vests. The group was shown to one of the long picnic tables that populated the saloon's floor. The six mares sat down and within a minute, a stool was pushed up to the end of the table for Stephen. He sat in between Applejack and Rainbow Dash while the waiter took orders.

Once the orders were taken, the group conversed among themselves while waiting for their breakfasts to come. Applejack turned to Stephen, “How are you feelin' today?” she asked. “Any better?”

“A little better,” said Stephen. “Once everyone got to sleep I was really able to relax and calm myself down.”

“Get any sleep yourself?”

Stephen shook his head. “Not really. I can't seem to actually sleep when I'm here. I don't know why. But I can take naps and that helps a little bit at least.”

“Boy howdy, I couldn't imagine being in your horseshoes right now.”

Stephen sighed. “It isn't fun. I can tell you that much.”

The waiter came back around and dropped mugs of cider in front of Applejack and Rainbow. Stephen got the glass of water he asked for and the others got their drinks as well. Applejack took a sip and after lowering the glass, she looked over to Stephen. “So what made you want to come with us?”

That question still held enough weight to drop Stephen's head to the table with a sigh. “Have you ever been awake for over a week at a time?”

Applejack smirked and nodded her head. “I tried it once. I didn't end up too well.”

“Did you start doing things you wouldn't normally do?”

“Yep,” Applejack responded frankly.

“Cause any problems?” Applejack only nodded in response. “On Sunday night I hurt my leg at Pinkie's house. When I woke up with a sprained ankle on Monday morning, I got scared and decided that it wasn't safe to go back to bed.”

“I had a feelin' that's what it was,” said Applejack before taking another swig.

“Between all the energy drinks, coffee and candy I was taking mixed with exhaustion and stress, I lost my mind. It frightened my girlfriend and she broke up with me.”

Applejack's eyes widened slightly. “Well I'll be…” she said. Then her expression softened. “I'm sorry about that.”

“We were a great couple,” Stephen continued. “We never really argued or anything. But when I needed her for support, she just couldn't handle it. I probably shouldn't blame her though. Magic doesn't exist where I come from and we don't regard people who talk about getting abducted to another world as being mentally sound.”

Rainbow, who had been taking a long swig on her cider, stopped abruptly and put her drink down. “Who does she think she is?” she almost yelled with her front legs in the air. “Bailing at the first sign of trouble like that? You don't need her anyway!”

“Maybe you're right,” Stephen groaned. “It certainly didn't help anything though. Then the next day I had a disagreement with a coworker and everything got to me all at once. I got angrier than I ever have before and said a lot of things I shouldn't have. Now I don't have a job anymore either.” Stephen paused to make sure he could keep his composure. Once certain he could continue, he sat up straight. “Then all I could think about is that all of this happened because of whatever is going on here. So maybe…just maybe…if I helped find who's doing it than I could make everything go back to normal.”

Rainbow gave Stephen a playful bump on the shoulder. “Don't sweat it. We got your back and you just watch; soon enough we'll have this situation by the reins!”

The small glimmer of hope Stephen acquired yesterday afternoon grew just a little bit bigger. He felt the corners of his lips point up slightly. “Thanks, Rainbow.”

The waiter came back around with their breakfasts balanced on a tray atop his back. “You nervous about this trip at all?” Applejack asked as a large fruit salad and some jellied toast was dropped in front of her.

“Just a little.” The plate of apple-topped waffles that Stephen ordered was dropped in front of him.

“This will be a walk in the park,” Rainbow said as a small apple pie was placed in front of her. She eagerly took a bite, chewed and swallowed it quickly before continuing. “All we have to do is get in there, guard that shrine, kick the tail of anyone that tries to come in and head home.”

“I just hope it's actually going to be that easy,” said Stephen. “By what Twilight said, it sounds like whoever we're up against is pretty strong.”

Just then, the song being played on the piano changed and Pinkie shot to her feet. “I love this song!” Pinkie slapped the end of her plate and launched her pancakes into the air. With unrivaled coordination, she caught them both in her mouth. She gave a few chews and swallowed before zipping to the piano with an excited, “Be right back!”

Stephen leaned over to Rainbow Dash. “Do you think she even tasted those pancakes?” Rainbow sniggered and shrugged in response.

Pinkie's singing washed over the saloon and everyone turned up to watch her while they ate their breakfasts. The other patrons gathered around the piano to be entertained by her antics. The only problem came when they continued to cheer her on for three more songs. The rest of the group had finished eating and it was time to get moving. Applejack solved the problem by throwing up her lasso just as Pinkie reared up while dancing on the piano. The noose tightened around her belly and snatched her from the piano, cutting off the high note she was holding with a surprised, “Whoa!”

Applejack caught Pinkie on her back and shrugged her off to the floor. “We gotta get movin' Pinkie,” she said, tucking her lasso back into her bags and heading for the door.

“Okey-dokey!” said Pinkie as she started skipping towards the door. Having their entertainment confiscated caused the rest of the saloon to let out a collective moan of disappointment. Hearing this, Pinkie turned back to face them. “Don't worry, everypony! I'll come back someday for more songs!” With that, Pinkie exited the saloon to the sound of a cheering crowd and the piano player resuming his tune.

The next item on the agenda was supplies. After a brief walk down the street, they happened outside the town's general store. The group filed inside and began picking through their wares. Applejack and Fluttershy focused on gathering enough food and water to last three days in the desert. Rarity and Pinkie Pie gathered blankets for each member of the group. Rainbow Dash mulled around the shop and Stephen approached Twilight. “Were you ever able to come up with any strategies?” he asked.

Twilight gave a small nod. “I've got a couple ideas that might work if we can surprise them. But now I'm wondering what to do about our defense if my plans don't work.”

“What can you do with your magic?”

“I can teleport and create force fields. But if I teleported, I'd have to take all of you with me, which is difficult and I'm not good at doing it quickly. I'm also not certain if my force fields will be strong enough against this unicorn. I sort of wish I had asked my brother about this while we were in Canterlot. He specializes in this type of magic.”

Stephen raised an eyebrow at that statement. “Wait a second, you've got a brother that specializes in self defense and you didn't bring him with us?” The memory of Big Macintosh bucking a timberwolf through the air flashed through Stephen's mind. “Or heck,” he continued. “What about Applejack's brother? He certainly strikes me as someone who would have been good to have with us.”

“My brother is the Captain of the Royal Guard,” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia didn't want any of them coming with us for fear of the thief seeing them and compensating with stealth like he did at the museums. Big Mac is the only pony that understands Sweet Apple Acres as well as Applejack. If he came with us, there'd be nopony to run the farm while she's gone.”

“So we're in trouble if they aren't subdued right away?”

“I don't know. But we've faced challenges like this before. I'm confident that if we stick together, we can do anything.”

Stephen gave her an unsure nod and resumed looking around the store. He wanted to try to think about ways to help Twilight. But even if his exhausted mind was clear, he doubted he'd be able to offer any helpful advice. He knew nothing about magic aside from its litmus tests could be itchy or painful. However, inspiration came suddenly when he spotted a field plow next to the cash register. Turning around in the aisle, he walked back over to Twilight. “Can you make shields?” he asked her.

Twilight's eyes went to the right and up and her face took on a curious expression. “I probably can. Why do you ask?”

Stephen put himself next to Twilight and raised a front leg to point at the plow. “What if instead of trying to make a force field, you made a shield angled like that plow? That way instead of taking the full force head on, it all gets deflected on the point or on the sides where it meets the inverted curves.”

Twilight mulled it over for a moment before speaking. “That might work. I was hoping to figure out a way to make my force fields stronger because I know I can cover everyone at once that way. But if the unicorn was strong enough to break through Princess Celestia's barriers, I might not be able to make it strong enough.”

“Could you make a plow-shaped shield big enough to cover everyone?”

“I think I can but I'd want to practice it first. If it gets too big, the sides would be wider and the curves would be shallower, so a strong attack might still break it.”

“Physically it would take several times as much force to compensate for the force that's being deflected. The important thing would be to let the base or point of the plow to take the force so it deflects all the force up and to the sides instead of taking it all to the center.”

Twilight gave a small nod but seemed to be thinking about something else at the same time. After a moment she turned back to Stephen. “I can do that if I can figure out how to quickly adjust the position of the shield. That way even if the unicorn aims a spell at a weak spot, I can compensate.” Relief came onto her face and she let out a happy giggle. “It looks like we're onto something. Thanks for the idea.”

“You're welcome,” Stephen replied.

Rarity trotted up to them and slightly relieved the awkwardness from the air. “Our cart is being loaded outside,” she said, pointing to the door. “We've got food, canteens and blankets. Will that be sufficient?”

“I think we'll be fine,” said Twilight. “Let's get moving.”

Once the cart was loaded, the group hired a carriage to pull them and their belongings thirty miles southwest of Appaloosa. From there, in accordance with Princess Celestia's instructions, they broke off and continued on their own. Rainbow Dash volunteered to pull, claiming she could get them there the fastest.

This, however, was not the case. She would have easily been able to fly the remaining distance had the cart not been so heavy and the climate so hot. Thus she resigned herself to dragging it through the rough and dry terrain covered by a thin layer of desert dust.

Stephen's pace was another slowing factor. Going over a week on an amount of rest that would only qualify as a few hours of sleep made him slow and whittled his endurance to practically nothing. As time went on, he got slower and slower until he found himself falling far behind with only Fluttershy at his side. Several attempts at keeping up with the rest of the group only resulted in being winded and needing frequent water breaks before pressing on.

Eventually, Fluttershy took to the air and caught up with the rest of the group. “Excuse me, everyone,” she called quietly. “I think Stephen needs help.”

“How do you suppose we help him, darling?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash groaned and rolled her eyes at the need to stop for the fifth time in the last hour. “He's got to toughen up a little,” she said after taking a moment to breathe. “If we keep waiting up for him, we won't get to the pyramid until midnight.”

Fluttershy looked back at Stephen. He was shuffling his feet about twenty-five yards back and she could tell he was breathing heavily. Fluttershy dropped herself next to Rainbow Dash. She didn't speak, but she was certainly trying to find the words as her eyes shifted from Rainbow Dash to the cart a few times.

Rainbow's face scrunched. “Look, I'm all for helping him out. But if this cart gets heavier than I'm going to end up slowing us down and I would like to get to the pyramid before midnight. Isn't there something else we can do for him?”

“But if he keeps going like this something bad might happen to him,” Fluttershy responded.

“Why don't you take a breather, RD?” said Applejack. “Me and Fluttershy will take it from here.”

Fluttershy nodded and moved towards the cart's spare harness.

By the time Stephen caught up with the group, Fluttershy and Applejack had hooked themselves up to the cart. Panting dryly, he leaned against the cart and struggled to keep himself up. “Are we there yet?” he croaked out. “May I have some water, please?” He was answered by Rainbow scooping him up by his midsection and hoisting him into the cart. “What happened?” he asked in between pants. Rainbow popped open a canteen with her mouth and placed it in between Stephen's forelegs. Stephen practically swallowed the canteen as he took several long swigs. “Thank you!” he signed once he felt rehydrated.

“Take it easy from here,” said Rainbow. “We've got a lot of ground to cover and it'll take forever if we have to keep waiting up for you.”

“You don't have to do this,” Stephen mumbled, trying his best to be polite. But his legs and ankles might as well have been on fire. He knew very well now that he had stopped, he wasn't going to be able to get himself going again for a while.

“Can we get moving, please?” Rarity begged. “This heat is absolutely unbearable!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes and looked back at Stephen. “No, believe me. We need to do this.” With that, the ponies resumed their trek.

The cacti scattered throughout the desert were casting long eastern-facing shadows when they arrived at the foot of a step pyramid that would have stuck out in the otherwise flat and featureless desert if it had not been so small and gray. Stephen guessed it to be about fifty feet tall and one hundred feet wide at the base. Wind blowing sand against it for an untold amount of time had left some of the stone edges rounded. At the very top was a doorway sealed with a large granite slab with various hieroglyphs carved into it. Ultimately, it was not an impressive sight. But to Stephen, it was a glimmering light that promised to be the first step in solving all of his problems.

Stephen hopped out of the cart and followed everyone up the stairs to the pyramid's entrance. Once there, Twilight faced down the entrance and took a ready stance. Her horn began glowing and soon it was bright enough to light up the immediate area. After a moment, the door to the pyramid gained the same purple glow as her horn. Twilight started to sweat as she pointed her horn to the sky. With a thunderous stony creak, the granite slab ground and slid up into the top of the pyramid, revealing a dark and spiraling stairway that dove deep into the pyramid's interior.

Ambush

With a deep breath, the glow of Twilight’s horn subsided and she used a foreleg to wipe her forehead. Rainbow Dash poked her head into the mouth of the pyramid and looked about. “I don’t see any booby traps,” she said.

“Isn’t the whole point of a booby trap that you don’t see it?” Applejack stated, earning a deadpan glare from Rainbow.

“I was expecting something to happen as soon as that door opened,” Rainbow replied. Stepping into the pyramid, she scanned the walls for signs of hazards. Unless the stairway that was about ten feet in qualified, there were none. “Nope,” she said after a moment. “It just looks like a boring old pyramid to me.”

“That’s good,” said Twilight. “Let’s get our things.”

The group nodded in agreement and headed down to the cart. Each of the ponies grabbed their saddlebags and as much else as they could carry. Once the cart was emptied, Twilight and Rainbow Dash lead the way into the pyramid. They were followed by Rarity, who stopped to look at the bottom of her hooves after taking a few steps in. Seeing that she had left prints on the dusty floor, she released a brief groan. Stephen looked to Applejack, who gave him a tip of her hat before waving him to go ahead.

Stephen looked over to Fluttershy. Her eyes were wide and she gave an audible gulp. “Hey,” said Stephen. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m a bit nervous too.”

“I know,” Fluttershy replied. “I always have trouble with these things.”

“Fluttershy, are you coming, dear?” Rarity asked from inside.

Stephen took a step towards the entrance. “Let’s just get this over with. I’ve got your back and the others are watching the front. Sound good?”

Pinkie Pie hopped up to Fluttershy’s left. “And I’ve got your sides, just in case!” she said happily.

Fluttershy replied with a nod. After taking a deep breath, she slowly walked into the entrance with Pinkie by her side and Stephen close behind. After he passed through the entrance, curiosity prompted him to look up at the granite slab, which seemed to be suspended into the pocket doorway by purple sparkles. The slab looked thick enough to be something from Stonehenge and left Stephen astounded that Twilight had been able to move it at all. He pressed forward and tried to avoid thinking about how they were expecting to confront someone much stronger. Applejack came in behind Stephen and Twilight lowered the granite slab back to the floor with another stony creak. The pyramid was in total darkness for a moment before purple and white incandescent lights emanated from the unicorns’ horns and they proceeded down the spiraling stairway.

The stairs ran down fifty feet to the base of the pyramid. For what the unicorns’ light was showing, the pyramid was nothing but a hollow chamber. But once they reached the base, Twilight found a tile with two winged unicorns circling the moon and sun. She lay down in front of the tile and touched her horn to it. Stephen watched with speechless amazement as that tile and dozens of others lit up a bright blue. A white light shot down the middle of the illuminated tiles and the floor opened like storm cellar doors. Several torches lit the way down what looked to be a thirty-foot staircase into an underground chamber.

“Whoa, now that was awesome,” said Rainbow Dash.

The group filed down the stairs, which led into an open room. What appeared to be hundreds of torches placed about the walls took flame and illuminated the lower chamber. The room was revealed to be about four hundred square feet with half of the floor covered by a mysterious, super thick fog. Twelve massive stone pillars supported the ceiling on the group’s side of the mist alone. Another twelve were on the other side of the mist and surrounding a small stone altar with an ominous looking gate painted onto the wall behind it. A faint golden glow shone atop the altar.

Curiosity drove Stephen to walk towards the altar and get a closer look at the key they were charged with protecting. There was something about the way the fog covered half the floor like a white cotton blanket that made him uneasy. It was an odd sight, but Stephen pressed forward, taking his first step into the fog.

His heart jumped into his throat as his hoof failed to make contact with the floor and he fell forward. The floor he was standing on had suddenly become a corner of a high wall where he was balanced on his midsection with the fog over his head. Below was nothing but a black void. Stephen braced his hooves against the wall but as he felt himself slipping forward, he did the only thing someone could do – he screamed.

Stephen rapidly inched forward further over the edge of the floor, trying desperately to push himself back up. As he felt his inverted knees go over the edge, he closed his eyes and hoped the fall wouldn’t be too far. There was a hard tug on his tail and he shot back up the wall. Sliding for a foot or two on the stone floor, he looked up and saw Rainbow had taken his place at the edge of the clouds. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you only Pegasus ponies can walk on clouds?” she asked as if that was supposed to be obvious knowledge.

“Who puts a gaping hole in the middle of a floor like that?” Stephen shouted once he caught his breath. A moment later, Rainbow’s words registered. “And no! The topic of strolling across condensation doesn’t come up often where I’m from!”

The rest of the group rushed over. “What happened?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie hopped over to the edge of the clouds and stuck her head over the edge. Rainbow was walking around atop them, also poking her head through. “That’s a big hole!” Pinkie called out. After a moment of audible reverberation, she giggled and with her head literally in the clouds, called out, “Echo!” into the void.

Rainbow pulled her head up from the clouds. “Yeah, there’s no floor under these clouds at all. Probably to catch anypony who gets close to the shrine. I knew there’d be a trap!”

“How far down does it go?” Applejack asked.

“I don’t know,” said Rainbow. “Looks pretty deep. It’s a good thing I caught you, Stephen.”

“I’ll say,” he replied with a sigh. “Thanks for that.”

Rainbow stuck her nose in the air and waved a hoof at him. “Don’t sweat it. I told you I got your back.” Rainbow turned to the rest of the group. “Be careful, everypony. That first step’s a doozy,” she called out with a chuckle. Rainbow jumped off the fog and glided over to the shrine. “Is this what we’re guarding?” she asked upon landing. She examined the shrine on all sides and waved her hoof around the key, checking for more traps.

“Don’t touch the key, Rainbow!” Twilight called from the other side. “Celestia said the shrine would fall apart if it’s moved.”

“Got’cha, Twilight!” Rainbow called back before jumping into the air and returning to the group.

“Looks like we got here in good time,” said Applejack.

“Remember what the princess said,” said Twilight. “That key is supposed to be invisible unless the relics are breaking its seal. That means the thief is on their way. So let’s get ready for anything.”

Stephen watched as everyone went into their saddlebags and pulled out elaborate gold jewelry. Five chokers and a tiara, each adorned with a large gems of various shapes and colors. Stephen’s eyes went wide as he watched them fasten their jewelry. “Wait a moment,” he spoke up. “What are those things you’re putting on? Is it armor? Should I have armor too? What’s going on?” he nervously fired off the questions.

“These are the Elements of Harmony,” said Twilight. “I believe I’ve told you about them before.”

Stephen remembered the name from the book that Twilight had showed him a few days ago. “I remember you said you used them before. But the picture you showed me in that book was five spherical gems on a stand, kind of like the pictures of the other statues.”

“That’s what they looked like before we became friends and formed a bond with the Elements.”

Stephen thought about it for a moment before remembering that he wasn’t supposed to try to think about it. Very few things in this world made sense when compared to how things worked on Earth. “That’s understandable, I guess,” he sighed. “But what do they do?”

“It’s not about what they do, Stephen,” said Twilight. “It’s about what we do through them.” Twilight motioned to her friends. “When representatives of kindness, loyalty, honesty, generosity and laughter come together in friendship, a magic is formed that creates a bond where corruption and chaos can’t exist.” Then she pointed to her tiara. “The Elements themselves amplify that magic to a tangible force that exorcises or neutralizes dark powers.”

“And how exactly did you find these things?” Stephen asked curiously. As soon as he asked, his stomach let out an audible growl, causing Applejack to giggle.

“That’s a long story there, sugarcube,” she said. “Sounds like it’d be best told over some supper.”

Pinkie Pie was already laying out a checkered picnic blanket on the floor. “Sounds good to me,” Stephen said with a smile. He walked over to help her set up. During their meal, Twilight told Stephen the story of how she met her friends and their first adventure together.

Once they had finished cleaning up after their meal, Twilight separated herself from the group to practice the shield formation she had discussed with Stephen earlier today. Rainbow occupied herself with practicing flying tricks about the room. The other four had started a board game at Pinkie’s request and Stephen resigned himself to another nap, only occasionally opening his eyes to watch the others for a minute or two.

Eventually, Twilight called for the group’s attention. “I’ve got a plan,” she said once everyone had gathered. “When the thief shows up, we’ll try to take them by surprise. Applejack, I want you to tie them up with your lasso as quick as possible.” Applejack tipped her hat at Twilight in response. “The rest of you will help Applejack hold him down while I cast a suppressive spell that will make it hard for them to use magic for a while. If we find out they’re using dark magic, we’ll counter with the Elements of Harmony. If it becomes a fight, I’ll cover us with my new shield spell until we’re safe. Then we report back to Canterlot as soon as possible. Understand?” Everyone nodded their heads with confidence.

A few more hours passed calmly. Rarity was the first to fall asleep once she finished setting up the air mattress she had packed. Twilight unwound herself with some quiet reading for a little while before curling up in her sleeping bag. Stephen conversed with Applejack until she expressed a desire for shut-eye. At which point, he joined Pinkie, Rainbow and Fluttershy in a card game where cookies that Pinkie had packed were being gambled.

Eventually the rest of the group had bowed out for exhaustion and fallen asleep. With that, Stephen unpacked the sleeping bag, blanket and pillow that Rarity had picked out for him and laid himself down on it. Stephen kept himself rested and as close to sleep as he could get by occupying his mind with how he would try to put his life back together at home. The way things looked now, nothing was going to be easy once this was all behind him.

After what felt like a couple of hours, Stephen’s thoughts and rest were interrupted by the top half of the pyramid being rattled with the sounds of heavy stones being rolled against each other. Twilight was still asleep so that noise could only mean one thing. His stomach tightened as he was jump-started by a burst of adrenaline.

Crawling out of his sleeping bag, he went to each of the ponies and shook them awake. “They’re coming,” he said to each of them until they woke up.

“Formation, girls!” Twilight quietly called out once everyone was awake. Everyone gathered around her. Stephen stood behind Twilight with the others surrounding him and his attention welded to the stairs. There was only one way in or out of this pyramid. It would only be a matter of time before his abductor appeared.

Stephen counted twenty seconds, each more suspenseful than the last, until a black-iron armor horseshoe appeared on the first step leading into the lower chamber. Its contact with the stone steps echoed through the chamber before disappearing back up the step.

He knows, Stephen thought just as all four armored hooves dropped down onto the steps. That was all anyone saw before a blinding light filled the room and sent the group reeling and shielding their eyes.

Rainbow Dash was the first to recover from the flare. Her vision was still heavily splotched but the basic shapes and colors in the room were coming back to her. She jumped into the air and saw the shape of a stallion’s rear running towards the shrine. “He’s going for the key!” she shouted before giving pursuit, half-blind and ignoring Twilight’s call to stay together.

She was over the culprit and dove down to tackle him but ended up tackling the floor when he disappeared into thin air. The smell of o-zone told her she landed just before the fog. The thief must have teleported across the trap to the shrine. The room’s color was still returning to her vision, so she tried to get a look at the culprit while getting to her feet and ignoring the pain of her crash. However, just as she raised her eyes in the shrine’s direction, his shape blinked away. Four iron hooves and the weight of a heavy stallion materialized on her unprepared back, forcing her back to the floor.

The lower chamber started to quake as the group finished shaking the spots from their eyes. They turned towards the shrine to see a green flash of light appear over a floored Rainbow Dash. Rainbow shot to her feet and looked around for the thief. Applejack looked up to the stairs and saw the hind legs of a stallion who was too big to be Stephen disappear into the top chamber. She turned back to her saddlebag and grabbed her lasso.

“Stick to the plan, everypony! I’m gonna wrangle me a thievin’ unicorn. YEE-HAW!!!”

The chamber's shaking had quickly become almost unbearably violent. Uncertain of what to look at, Stephen’s eyes were darting everywhere. The altar had split, the shrine had crumbled and the pillars were breaking apart. It would only be a matter of time until the ceiling came down as well. Trying to move forward, he noted each pillar as they cracked and kept a mental tab on where each piece would fall.

Hearing Fluttershy let out a loud shriek, he turned his head to see her staring at a pony-sized piece of pillar that had crashed down in front of her with wide eyes and flat ears. Another sonorous crack sounded nearby. Stephen looked up to its source and saw that the nearest pillar had a forty-five degree crack about three feet above the base. He knew it was coming down. His eyes followed its potential trajectory and were brought back to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, move!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. He tried to shove her but she had locked herself in place.

The world flashed a bright purple and for the shortest conceivable time, Stephen felt like he was falling. The light faded as quickly as it came and he was standing in front of Twilight on the steps. With an earth shaking crash, the pillar broke into a dozen pieces against the floor where he had just been. Stephen frantically looked about the room and was relieved to see Rainbow had hoisted Fluttershy to safety. Still running, Applejack glanced back for a split second when the pillar crashed. Relieved there were still six ponies below and Stephen had taken point, Applejack lowered her head forward and continued to barrel towards her target.

Stephen was overcome with desperation to get out of this chamber. Turning and running up the stairs as fast as he could, his eyes caught Applejack approaching the upper chamber at full gallop. He looked back at the group. Twilight appeared to be calling out to him but he couldn’t hear what she was saying over the earthquake. By the way she was pointing, Stephen assumed she was telling them to run and catch the thief.

“Stay together!” Twilight called out for a second time while reaching out to Stephen and Applejack. But again, they didn’t seem to hear her as Applejack disappeared into the upper chamber with Stephen halfway up the steps and still running. If this plan were to be salvaged, they’d have to move quickly. After a frustrated groan, she cast a force field over herself and her friends. Looking back at them, she shouted, “Stay close, everypony!” before they all ran up the stairs together.

When Applejack reached the upper chamber, the thief was halfway to the spiraling staircase. She quickly gained on him, calling out, “Stop right there, ya good-for-nothin’-Whoa!” Applejack banked right when a green bolt flew from where the thief’s head would be. The attack barely missed her face and chipped the floor next to her. But now Applejack was close enough to see the theif’s brightly glowing green dragon eyes and slightly curved horn. That was all the information she needed.

Applejack flourished her lasso as the thief’s horn lit up again. When the bolt came, she dodged to the left and flung the noose out with a jerk of her neck. Pulling back, the rope went taught around his neck. “Come here!” she grunted through her teeth and gave the rope a hard pull. The thief reared up, giving himself some slack to step on and prevent her from controlling him. Surprised by his strength, Applejack suddenly felt like she was trying to wrangle her brother. But farm life, several herding sessions and dozens of rodeos had taught her how to deal with much worse.

Applejack choked up on the rope and ran wide, pulling her full weight on the rope as she tried to get the stallion’s head to turn. He was about to give way when his horn lit up again. Applejack instinctively ducked as the thief launched another blast, which narrowly missed her head. She choked up on the rope again and yanked him down in the other direction. The thief budged but braced himself and tugged back. Applejack took the opportunity to whip the rope around his neck a second time.

Stephen came into the top chamber before any of the others. Some light splashing out from below showed Applejack in a tug-of-war with a pair of frightening glowing green eyes in the darkness. She had the thief! Soon enough, the rest of the group would show up to help her and he’d be apprehended. But Stephen remembered hearing about how strong this thief was and his demonstration of cunning in the lower chamber left Stephen desiring a contingency plan as he ran towards the bout.

Still running, Stephen watched Applejack weave between two more magic blasts before jumping over a third. While airborne, a green aura appeared around her tail and she was yanked towards the thief. Applejack kept the rope in her mouth and stuck the landing on her hooves. Ending up less than three feet from the thief, she immediately bucked up at him.

Between striking at night and his use of flashbang, he obviously has a desire to remain unseen, Stephen thought, also hoping that he’d succeed in running past the fight unnoticed. If he has to face the other six and their magic jewelry, he’ll likely retreat. What he might not expect is for someone to grab him as he exits.

Stephen hoped against hope that he’d miraculously gain the ability to wrestle his abductor until reinforcements arrived. But this was not the time for second-guessing and just as he’d promised, there would be no more freezing up. All he had to do was distract the thief for a few seconds. Just do it, resounded through his mind.

Applejack felt the thief weave around her legs when she bucked and jumped away before he could counter. Simultaneously, she wrapped his neck a third time as she landed between the stairs and her roped-up culprit. He’d be as good as hog-tied if she merely pulled him down and roped his front legs all at once.

Out of her peripherals, Applejack saw Stephen run past her and heard him clamor up the staircase. Where does he think he’s going? she asked internally. In the fraction of a second she was distracted, her opponent reared up and lunged forward. “Whoa nelly…” Their skulls met with a loud and solid clap. Applejack’s ears started ringing and her head went light. The pyramid spun around a couple of times before turning on its side and Applejack’s face rested on what used to be the floor.

When the rest of the group reached the dark upper chamber, they saw a green aura drop Applejack’s noose before the thief’s glowing eyes disappeared up the staircase. Applejack and Stephen were nowhere to be seen. “We’ll have to stop him outside!” Rarity declared.

Just as they were about to give chase, Twilight felt the floor get weak under her hooves. She glanced back for a fraction of a second and saw parts of the floor falling into the lower chamber. “Fly!” she shouted, lowering her force field. The light from the lower chamber filling the room revealed Applejack lying unconscious by the stairs. Pinkie dashed ahead in a blur of motion and scooped up her friend before bolting up the stairs. Rainbow Dash hoisted Twilight into her forelegs and flapped onward.

Fluttershy wrapped her front legs under Rarity’s and pumped her wings as hard as she could. They gained a few feet of altitude before the sound of the crumbling floor entered their ears. She closed her eyes and did her best to ignore the strain of flying with the weight of a full-grown mare dangling from under her like an anchor. “Just a few more feet to the stairs…” she repeated to herself.

The top chamber’s floor had completely collapsed into the bottom chamber, allowing the light from the bottom chamber’s torches to illuminate the rest of the pyramid. Rainbow Dash dropped Twilight on the stairs. Twilight immediately cast her flashlight spell and started running. Looking back, Rainbow saw Fluttershy slowly making her way to the stairs with Rarity and bolted over to help her friends. Flying up to Rarity, Rainbow reached out and grabbed one of Rarity’s front legs. As a look of relief came to Fluttershy’s face, Rainbow tugged a little faster. A moment later, they placed Rarity on the spiraling staircase, whereupon she provided them light and they shot up as fast as they could.

Stephen kept his eyes forward and did his best to ignore the building lactic acid in his muscles as he cleared the entrance of the pyramid and he shot to the left. Once he felt as though he’d be out of the peripheral view of the entrance, he crouched and waited. Taking the time to try and catch his breath, he attempted to calm the nerves that came with anticipating conflict and the fact that in having never before sought conflict, especially physical, he had no idea how to initiate. But if he kept his mind clear and simply acted, it would come to him, right? Wasn’t this how he learned how to do everything else in this world?

Stephen’s thoughts were interrupted when the muscular outline of the thief’s muzzle stepped into the moonlight from the pyramid’s doorway with the golden key in his oral grasp. By the time Stephen realized that this wasn’t any of his friends, the thief was already halfway out. Stephen’s hind legs shot him forward. “Got you!” he shouted as he felt his front legs wrap around the thief’s flanks.

The world flashed again. This time, bright green accompanied a split-second falling sensation before Stephen found himself several feet from the pyramid’s base, still clutching onto the thief. Stephen kept a desperate grasp on his target’s hindquarters while the thief tried to buck him off.

Stephen prayed for an opportunity to somehow gain better leverage. His wish was granted when the thief shimmied down, placing himself further under Stephen. With a small buck and a pop of his haunches, Stephen was on the unicorn’s back with access to the thief’s neck. But the world suddenly turned sideways and all of the air was violently shoved from his lungs as the thief sandwiched Stephen between himself and the ground. The thief’s weight left Stephen’s chest and he felt a force wrap around his whole body before being yanked into the air, swung through a tall cactus and slammed back down on the ground. Still winded, Stephen tried desperately to regain his bearings. The moon shining into his eyes became partially eclipsed by a pony rearing over his head. Moonlight gleamed off the armored horseshoes and snake-like eyes glared down at him with cold rage. Stephen covered his face as best as he could and braced for the coup de grâce.

Armored hooves thumped the ground on either side of Stephen’s head. After a moment, he realized he was still conscious and peered up from behind his front legs. Those sickening eyes, disembodied in the darkness, filled his entire field of view and churned his stomach. But the killing intent they bore about two seconds ago was replaced with curiosity. The thief raised his head and his silhouette reappeared, standing over Stephen. The golden key floated from his mouth and seemed to disappear into his chest with the sound of velcro. “Fancy meeting you here,” said a deep, elderly voice.

“There he is!” Pinkie Pie’s voice echoed from the pyramid’s summit and drew the unicorn’s attention upward. Stephen finally found his breath and sucked in as much air as he could.

“Dear Celestia, they’re persistent,” the thief said before taking a careful step over his opponent’s body. “Au Revoir, Stephen!” the culprit shouted as he took off in full gallop. Stephen turned onto his stomach just in time to see a flash of green sparks pop into existence from about twenty feet away. The thief was gone.

Change of Plans

The Pegasi were the first to arrive by Stephen’s side. The sound of hooves thundering against the dirt behind Stephen told him the others were not far behind. “Where’d he go!?” Rainbow said while frantically shifting back and forth in looking for the thief.

As the realization that the culprit had escaped sank into Stephen’s mind a second time, anger boiled up inside him faster than he would have been able to contain it even under the best circumstances. “Oh come on!” he shouted, giving the ground a few hard slaps. Getting to his feet, he took a couple of calming breaths that sounded more like growls before turning back to his friends.

Applejack had regained consciousness and was getting herself upright with the help of Pinkie Pie. “Consarnit…I feel like I was on the wrong end of a stampede,” she muttered while holding her head and struggling to regain equilibrium.

Rarity turned to face Applejack, whose eyes seemed to be quivering and slightly crossed. “Are you going to be alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, you should probably sit down for a while,” said Rainbow.

“I’ll be fine as soon as you two hold still.” Applejack responded warily.

“Darling, we’re not moving,” Rarity said flatly.

“Oh,” Applejack groaned and followed Rainbow’s advice. Pinkie sat down with her. “Shoot, gals. I coulda sworn I had him.”

“It’s not your fault, AJ,” Pinkie placed a hoof on her friend’s shoulder.

“Pinkie’s right,” Twilight said before turning to Rainbow. “But I do wish we had stayed together like we originally planned!”

Rainbow jumped and flapped her wings, hovering herself slightly higher than Twilight’s head. “Hey! Did you want me to do nothing while he grabbed the key!?” she asked, throwing her front legs into the air.

“Hold on, both of you,” Rarity interjected, holding a foreleg in between Twilight and Rainbow. “Now is hardly the time for arguing. We must simply dust ourselves off and proceed with plan B.”

Twilight sighed and Rainbow dropped back to the ground with a look of indignation. “You’re right,” said Twilight. “As soon as Applejack feels better, we’ll have to start walking back.”

“Do we have any supplies left?” Fluttershy asked.

“I think they all got squished when the ceiling fell down,” Pinkie retorted, rising back on all fours as Applejack set her front leg back over her shoulder.

“Then we’d better get moving so we don’t have to spend as long walking in the desert sun without any water,” said Twilight.

Applejack tried again to pull herself to her feet. She wobbled once or twice and winced from a headache, but managed to hold herself up. “Braeburn showed me how to look for water out here a while back. It ain’t a lot but we’ll be fine so long as we get back to Appaloosa today.” Once Applejack was stable, Pinkie let her stand on her own while still staying close.

“Applejack, you look like you’re still in pain,” said Fluttershy. “Are you certain you should be standing?”

“Don’t you worry none about me,” Applejack said, giving her left temple a small massage. “My head’s poundin’ but I’ll be fine.”

“Let’s grab our cart and head out then, shall we?” said Rarity.

The group walked until nearly high noon. At which point, on Twilight’s advice to conserve energy and hydration, they began riding in the cart. Taking turns at pulling in pairs, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie started first.

“So what happened, exactly?” Applejack asked shortly after she started riding.

“When I saw you had him roped up, I tried to set up a contingency plan just in case he tried running away,” said Stephen.

“How did that work out?” Applejack asked curiously.

Stephen lowered his eyes. “Not well,” he murmured and rubbed his crest in embarrassment. Several sharp stings pierced his neck, eliciting an agonized gasp that garnered Rarity’s attention.

“Oh my, are you injured?” she asked, coming over to his and Applejack’s side of the cart.

“I feel like there’s needles in my neck.”

Rarity merely glanced at Stephen and found the problem. “That’s because your mane is littered with cactus barbs and sand.”

Stephen let out small groan. “They’re probably from when I got thrown through a cactus.” He tried to brush the barbs out with a hoof, but only succeeded in stinging himself again.

Rarity pressed down on his back with a hoof. “Relax and allow me,” she commanded.

Stephen sat down and looked back to Applejack while Rarity carefully sifted through his hair. “I think he saw us waiting for him after he took the first step into the lower chamber and then attacked us from there-Ouch!” Stephen gasped as Rarity’s magic glanced over a few of the needles in his mane. “Did anyone get a good look at him? All I saw were glowing snake eyes.”

“Sounds like what the museum security said they saw,” said Twilight.

“After that flash, all I could see was his shape,” said Rainbow. “It’s definitely a large stallion we’re dealing with.”

“I think he’s got a gray coat and his horn’s got a bit of a curve to it,” said Applejack.

“A curved horn?” asked Twilight. “This thief is starting to sound like King Sombra. But that can’t be right.”

Pinkie chimed in from the cart’s harness. “I thought that dumpy grumpy had a big fall.” Suddenly her eyes went wide and she gasped. “Oh! Oh! Oh! What if all the king’s horses in the Equestrian glen came and put Sombra together again? Only this time with green scary eyes instead of red scary eyes!”

Twilight raised a quizzical eyebrow at Pinkie. “I really don’t think that’s possible, Pinkie. Besides, I don’t think he was using dark magic. Otherwise I would have felt it while he was in the pyramid.”

Stephen wasn’t certain he wanted to know who or what they were talking about. “Ouch!” he suddenly winced again as Rarity tried to yank another spine from his neck. “Is there any way to do that less painfully?”

“It’d be easier if I had my supplies,” said Rarity. “And it doesn’t help that you have the thickest mane I have ever seen.”

“I can’t help what I was born with.”

Rarity resumed her attempts to carefully brush through Stephen’s mane with her magic. “Have you ever considered straightening it?”

“It would probably just poof right back out.”

“That sounds like what happens to me,” Pinkie stated with a giggle.

“There’s really not much I can do with it,” said Stephen. “Besides, I like my afro.”

“So do these cactus barbs.” Rarity mused and magically grasped another needle. “Do brace yourself, darling.” She yanked it from his skin, drawing another cringe from Stephen. “Bear with me, dear. I’m being as gentle as I can.”

Rainbow looked back to face the cart. “So does anypony have any ideas on how we’re supposed to describe who we’re looking for to the princess without knowing more than his eye and coat colors?”

“At this point, it’s still anyone’s guess,” said Applejack.

After a couple hours of hauling, Applejack dug up some water from under some desert plants before Rainbow and Pinkie switched shifts with Twilight and Fluttershy. This process repeated three times. About halfway to Appaloosa, they were happened on by a carriage heading from Dodge to Appaloosa. With perfect timing, as Stephen and Rarity weren’t able to pull much further, the passengers graciously offered to give the group a lift. They arrived in Appaloosa late in the afternoon. After a very big lunch and a restroom break, they caught the next train heading east that would make it’s final stop at Canterlot.

They were on the train for twenty relaxing and perfectly uneventful hours before they pulled into the Canterlot train station. At first, Stephen had to shield his eyes from the sun’s glare off the city’s many white buildings. Once his eyes adjusted, he couldn’t help but drink in the many brick buildings and towers, each topped with a painted gold or colorful roof. It was as if the mountainside fortress was comprised of many smaller castles.

Stepping down from the train, Stephen noticed the way that the streets were perfectly paved with green bricks. Making their way through the city, he couldn’t take his eyes off the various towers, spires and domes that composed each building. The smallest of which was still three stories tall. Each rooftop bore elaborate paint jobs or murals. Each structure was pristine, magnificent and unique as if the entire city was designed and built by thousands of master craftsmen with different visions.

Yet somehow through the uniqueness of each building’s design and decorative paintings, the entire city held a uniform color scheme of whites, purples and blues, all accented in gold. Stars, fleur de lis and diamonds were common themes in the city’s decorations. It all came together to add a feeling of perfectly harmonious collaboration between the thousands of genius designers and craftsmen that must have built this city.

“Are you alright, Stephen?” Rarity asked. “You’ve been unusually quiet since we arrived.”

Stephen dragged his attention down from a mural of constellations painted on the roof of what looked to be a theater. “Just taking in the sights,” he replied. “This city is amazing.”

“I know!” Rarity exclaimed. “Canterlot is home to some of the highest levels of fashion, food, culture, business and athleticism in Equestria. But you have yet to see the best part of the city.”

“What’s that?” Stephen asked. Rarity didn’t need to answer his question. As soon as Stephen looked forward, he was met with the sight of a white bridge leading over a moat filled by the mountain’s waterfall. On the other side was a tall, pearly white and gold wall, which gated the entrance to a giant palace done in the same style as the rest of the city.

“That, my dear, is the royal palace,” Rarity said.

“Wow,” was all Stephen could think to say.

“I remember the first time I saw it too,” Rarity trotted past Stephen with a small chuckle. Stephen lowered his eyes ahead of himself and followed the group over the bridge.

The palace halls were wide. The floor was a tile checkerboard of white and purple. A narrow burgundy carpet softened their steps as they walked through the hallways painted in pink and gold, which were adorned in colorful banners and tapestries. The enormous ceiling was supported by rows of white marble pillars and decorated with hanging flowerpots. After going up a small stairway, they turned right down a hallway with several elaborate stained glass windows which seemed to depict various events. Some of them appeared to bare likenesses to the others in the group. He was about to ask what it meant when Twilight approached two armored unicorns guarding a giant purple doorway.

“Good afternoon, sirs. May we come in?”

A guard nodded and telekinetically pushed the door open. Twilight and her friends followed the burgundy carpet into a gigantic, pristine courtroom with marble floors. Fifty foot purple pillars held up the ceiling and the walls bore stained glass windows featuring more stories or celestial bodies. All of these features lead Stephen’s eyes to the back center of the room, where two tall winged unicorns stood in front of a large red throne. One was white with a billowing mane simmering of many colors, the other was navy blue with a matching mane that also sparkled and flowed through the air despite the lack of wind in the room. These must have been the princesses that Twilight spoke of in her stories the night before.

Stephen suddenly found himself standing over the group when they gave a sudden and reverent bow. He quickly followed suit as to not risk insulting anyone. A low, yet soft and feminine voice prompted them to rise. “It is always a pleasure to see you,” spoke the blue princess. “Although we have been expecting some fateful news.”

“Were you able to protect the key?” the white princess asked.

Twilight lowered her head. “I’m sorry, your majesty,” she said mournfully. “We tried to ambush the thief, but he beat us to the punch and escaped with the key. We didn’t even get a good look at his face.”

The white princess’ expression never changed as she confidently strode towards the group. Stephen watched Twilight avoid eye contact until the princess reached out with a golden armored hoof and directed her head upwards. “I’m certain you did your best,” the princess said with a calm and sincere tone. “What’s most important is that you’ve all returned safely.” The white princess suddenly turned her attention to Stephen. Uncertain of how to hold himself in front of royalty, Stephen held perfectly still and hoped he was doing the right thing. “Is this the little Earth pony under the Spirit Traveller spell?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Stephen retorted.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” said the white princess as the blue one walked up to her side. “I am Princess Celestia.” She gave a gesture towards the blue princess. “This is my sister, Princess Luna.”

“Charmed,” Luna said, holding out a silver armored hoof. After a brief hesitation, Stephen reached out and shook with her. Luna rewarded him with a pleasant smile.

“May we have your name?” asked Celestia.

“My name is Stephen, your majesty. It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.”

Celestia turned back to the group. “Now then, I’m certain you’re all tired from everything that’s happened. I’ll have someone show you to some palace rooms where you can stay and rest up from your journey.”

“But sister,” Luna interjected. “If the museum thief has the key, shouldn’t we act immediately?”

Celestia shook her head. “Don’t forget, Luna, Stephen is essential to whatever plans he may have. There’s not much to worry about as long as he is with us. Besides, everypony looks exhausted from their travels and it wouldn’t do any good to confront the thief if they’re tired.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Luna conceded. “Then I shall send word to the Crystal Empire and request that Shining Armor join us with a squad of his best guards.”

Twilight’s ears perked up. “We’re calling in my brother?” she asked.

Celestia nodded at Twilight. “This unicorn has four very powerful relics in his possession. Luna and I felt a little extra precaution would help. But I want you all to relax and enjoy the rest of today. We’ve got a long flight south first thing in the morning. Then we’ll take care of this once and for all.”

“Understood, Princess,” Twilight said confidently.

Celestia and Luna escorted the ponies to the door of the court and instructed one of the guards to find each a room for each of them. Stephen was about to follow the armored unicorn when he felt a horseshoe on his shoulder. “We’d like a moment to speak with you, Stephen, if you’re not too tired,” said Celestia.

Stephen’s eyes, head and hooves felt like lead weights. He had been “too tired” for over a week. But he also knew that no matter how hard he tried, no real sleep would come to him as long as he was here. Bearing that and his desire to avoid the risk of insulting a princess in mind, he simply nodded his head and followed the princesses down the hallway.

For about an hour, Stephen toured the palace with the princesses. Celestia was happy to tell him the stories behind all of the stained glass windows in the hallways. Once they were outside the palace walls, they walked around to the back. “So tell me a little about yourself, Stephen,” Celestia asked, a small smile on her face.

Stephen thought for a moment and drew a blank. “I’m not sure what to say. What would you like to know?”

“Let’s start with where you’re from then.”

“I live in a country called America.”

“What’s it like there?” Celestia asked curiously.

“It’s alright, I guess. It’s far from perfect but it’s hardly the worst place to be either. It just depends on where you live and who you know.”

“Is it peaceful?” Luna asked.

“Sort of. Again, it depends on where you are.”

Celestia’s expression became slightly more neutral. “What about where you’re from?”

“I live in a nice neighborhood. The people around me keep to themselves for the most part and the crime rate is pretty low.”

“What about the rest of the world?” Celestia asked.

“I don’t know. America’s median standard of living is better than a lot of other places but it still has a lot of rough cities. But most other countries have good and bad parts in them too. There always seems to be a war of some kind going on somewhere. But I don’t want anything to do with any of it, so I just mind my own business and try not to think about it.”

“What do you think of Equestria?”

“It’s a very different world that works a lot differently from my world.”

“Really? How so?” Celestia asked curiously.

“The existence of magic, mostly. Since my first night here, magic has been both cause and answer of several questions. So everything seems to happen randomly at first glance. Although I’m realizing that ponies simply have a higher level of control over physics than I ever thought possible. However, our days seem to be the same; such as if I come here during the day in my world, it will be the same time of day here. But then I look up at night and see a completely different moon and everything feels off again. There’s also the issue with learning to use a completely different body and-”

“Pardon me,” Luna interrupted.

“Yes, ma’am?” Stephen replied.

“You said that our days were the same but the moons are different. Pray tell, how is this?”

“Well, my world’s moon has a cycle and a full moon only appears for a few days every month. Firstly, the moon here is much bigger and brighter than the one at home and it’s been full every night for at least as long as I’ve been coming here.” Stephen paused for a moment before speaking again. “Actually, I think that’s something I prefer as opposed to my planet. Apart from just being beautiful, it’s really helped me work my way around the in the dark while I’ve been here.”

Celestia leaned over to her sister. “Perhaps you’d like to show him how that works sometime,” she said with a smirk.

“But of course,” Luna replied with a smile coming to her face. However, she held a hoof to her mouth and cleared her throat. “What is your occupation?” she asked, her tone returning to a collected yet serious nature.

“Up until three days ago I worked in customer service for a construction company.”

“Did you enjoy it?” Celestia asked.

“Not at all. It was a real pain in the neck. But it was tolerable and I could live off it.”

“Have you ever tried to seek an occupation geared towards something you enjoy?”

Stephen turned with the princesses and walked through an arch made of hedges. He took a moment to think of an answer while observing the rather large garden they were walking in now. “Where I come from, most things that are fun are more expensive than they are productive. People very rarely land a career in something they like doing.”

“One never knows unless they try,” Luna interjected.

“Exactly,” Celestia nodded. “You could try to find a line of work that goes with the grain of your talents.”

“That might work if I had any to speak of,” Stephen replied.

“Everypony has a special talent,” Celestia said sagely. They walked a few more feet before stopping to sit down under a blossoming cherry tree.

Stephen sat on the grass with the princesses and watched a couple of butterflies flutter about in the garden beyond while he thought of his answer. He didn’t necessarily agree with what Celestia was saying. But he didn’t want to directly oppose her either. “I’ve heard that a couple of times since I’ve been here. But I’ve also been told that if I had a talent, I’d have something on my hind legs to denote what it was.” Stephen pointed at his own flank. “I think Fluttershy called it a cutie mark.”

“That’s quite right,” said Celestia. “However, a cutie mark only appears when you realize what your special talent is. It’s the sign of a pony who’s discovered a path to using their talents in a way that makes them happy and helps those around them, or is already doing so. Finding your mark is the hardest part. But it’s something that everypony goes through.”

“I think I would have found it by now if it was there.”

Celestia put a hoof on Stephen’s shoulder. “When did you start looking?” an understanding smile came to her face before she followed up with, “Did you ever stop?”

Stephen wasn’t certain how to answer that at all. He rubbed under his muzzle while he tried to think of an answer. Just before his silence became awkward, he confessed, “I don’t know,” with a sigh.

“Let’s start here then,” said Celestia. “What do you do in life that you love doing?”

“I never really thought about that either,” said Stephen. “I’ve always had a few different groups of friends. Whoever I end up hanging out with, I just go with the flow of what they’re doing. As long as it’s not dangerous, I’m okay with doing anything.”

“What of those activities did you enjoy the most?” Luna asked.

“I’m not sure. Perhaps any time someone wanted to build something. I had a lot of fun putting together a zip line track one time when I was a teenager. There was also last week when my girlfriend taught me how to play a game that involved physics puzzles. Doing that with her was loads of fun.” Selena’s parting words from a few days ago echoed in Stephen’s mind, causing his heart to sink. “But she’s not around anymore anyway,” he murmured. “Between that and losing my job, I don’t have anything to go back home to. That’s why I just want to get to the bottom of why I’m here and do whatever is needed to fix it or get it over with. That’s the only hope I have for regaining my normal life back home.” There was a long pause and Stephen watched the princesses exchange glances before speaking up again. “Besides, I don’t see how zip lines and video games can be special talents and I certainly can’t make a career out of them.”

Celestia rose to her feet. “Perhaps things simply work differently where you’re from, Stephen. But I’m sure it will work out if you put your mind to it.” Her attention turned towards her sister. “Luna, may I speak with you for a moment?”

“Certainly, sister,” Luna rose and followed her Celestia away from the cherry blossoms.

A moment or two after the princesses left, Stephen glanced around the garden again. A muscular gray unicorn stallion with a red mane highlighted in white, brown cargo vest and black ankle-covering horseshoes happened to be passing by. They made eye contact and the unicorn’s expression lit up before he casually trotted over to Stephen.

“Good afternoon, sir,” the unicorn said in a deep, yet pleasant voice.

“To you as well,” Stephen replied, glancing over the unicorn again, trying to place this character in his memory. It finally clicked for Stephen when he saw the divider compass on his flank. “Oh! I remember you. We met in Ponyville a few days ago.”

The unicorn nodded. “That delightful young mare, Pinkie Pie introduced us.”

Stephen remembered just how exhausted he was when he couldn’t get more than the unicorn’s first letter in his mind without it freezing. So he guessed, “You’re Earl, right?”

The unicorn chuckled with an elderly bass in his voice. “Very close, my friend; Earnest Stalwart. Pleased to meet your acquaintance again.”

Stephen shook hooves with Earnest with an apologetic grin. “I’m sorry. My mind hasn’t been working very well lately.”

When the princesses rounded the hedges at the garden’s entrance, Celestia turned to Luna. “What thinks you, sister?” Luna asked.

“He seems nice but I’m not completely certain of him yet,” Celestia replied.

Luna turned her head as if she was trying to gaze upon Stephen through the hedges. “Do you really think he would be so dangerous? He seems just as any other Earth pony to me.”

“But he isn’t really an Earth pony. Whoever’s casting the Spirit Traveller spell is simply giving him the form of one. There must be a reason the museum thief chose him.”

“He does not seem the type that would go with the thief’s plan willingly. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“What concerns me is that he said he’d do anything to fix his situation back home. That prospect could easily convince him to turn the key.”

Luna sighed. “Perhaps we can appeal to his good nature? If we told him what the thief wants with him, he might see things our way.”

“It’s worth a try, Luna,” said Celestia.

“Shall we?” Luna asked.

Celestia responded with a confident nod. With that, they wrapped back around the entrance to the garden and walked over to the cherry tree, where an old unicorn stallion had sat down with Stephen. “Did you ever find what you were looking for?” they heard Stephen ask.

“Indeed, I did. I’m glad you asked. Would you mind if I borrowed your company for a few minutes?”

“Actually, I’m in the middle of something at the moment.”

The unicorn noticed the princess’ presence and bowed on a front knee, “Your majesties,” he said with a refined tone. Stephen turned around as well.

Luna had never seen this stallion before. But he seemed happy to see them. She waited for Celestia to bid him at ease, but it never came. Remembering to reign in her voice, she gently commanded, “Rise.”

The unicorn rose to his feet and straightened his posture. “Princess Celestia, it has been much too long since I’ve seen you,” he said softly. “And you, Princess Luna. To see you in person is an honor and a wish come true.”

“Thank thee, sir,” Luna replied with a smile and a small nod.

The unicorn turned to Stephen. “Is this what you were in the middle of?” he asked. After Stephen nodded, the unicorn turned back to the princesses.

Celestia blinked a couple of times before gaining a curious expression. “Earnest Stalwart, is that you?” Earnest answered with a small bow, which he held. “But how?”

“My sister has been quite helpful over these many years, your majesty,” Earnest raised his head. “But would you be so kind as to excuse this gentlecolt for a minute? I shall return him momentarily.” The unicorn turned around and placed a hoof on Stephen’s shoulder.

“What’s going on, Earnest?” Stephen asked.

Everything clicked in Celestia’s mind and she reached out towards Stephen. “No, wait!” she cried out just as they disappeared in a burst of green sparks.

Luna nudged Celestia with a wing. “Sister, is something wrong?”

Celestia set her hoof down and gazed into Luna’s eyes with a serious expression. “Message Shining Armor immediately. I’ll gather the girls.”

Pandemonium

After a couple stomach-churning seconds of falling in bright green light, the world popped back into view and started spinning. Stephen’s head went light just before his legs went limp and he collapsed onto a stone floor. “Goodness, I’m sorry.” Earnest’s voice came into his ears. “Was that too sudden?”

Stephen closed his eyes so the world would stop spinning. In order to ensure that his stomach stayed in place, he clutched it and curled into a fetal position. “I don’t feel good,” he groaned. Two iron horseshoes pressed against his back and rolled him onto his stomach. One hoof pressed his head down with surprising gentleness while another repeatedly stroked from the middle of his back up to his neck.

“Relax, take deep breaths through the nose and allow me to help,” Earnest instructed. “Neither of us will be happy if you get sick here.” After realizing that Stephen would not resist, Earnest removed his hoof from Stephen’s head and continued rubbing his back.

Stephen ignored the torrent of questions swirling through his mind in favor of following Earnest’s advice and waiting for his stomach to settle. About a minute later, Stephen felt the blood return to his head, his heart rate slow and the queasy sensations recede. Slowly, he opened his eyes and found himself inside what looked to be a stone cathedral. The arched ceiling was about thirty feet high, slate gray and supported by a wooden frame. Seven concrete pillars, each baring unlit torches, were spaced about ten feet apart across two of the walls. The walls were comprised of perfectly shaped brownish-gray bricks that looked like lakeside bluffs. Each brick was about as long as Stephen and half his height. Three doors separated different rooms from the main chamber, where Stephen was laying currently. The wall to Stephen’s left had five tall windows that were elevated a few feet from the floor and spaced in between the pillars. The wall on Stephen’s right was littered with drawings, notes, schematics, cluttered desks and tome filled bookshelves.

At the opposite end of the building stood three large statues, each of which looked familiar to Stephen. But his mind, in its exhausted and dizzied state, went blank as he tried to place them in his memory.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” said Earnest. “Have you recovered?”

Stephen turned his attention back to Earnest and got to his feet. “What’s going on?” he almost shouted. “Where are we? Why did you bring me here?” Stephen stole a second glance at the artifacts behind Earnest. He felt the gears of his mind turn back into place and he recognized the statues from Twilight’s book. On the left, atop a marble pedestal and inside a crystal triangle, sat a crystal eye with a dark purple orb as its pupil – the Eye of Coeus. The marble pedestal in the middle held a statue of a stone pegasus stallion about to be crushed under the weight of a large blue sphere – the Globe of Atlas. On the right, a third marble pedestal bore a stone right triangle and a stone pony using his head to push a large orange crystal ball up the hypotenuse – the Stone of Sisyphus. The statues were lined up on what looked to be the building’s fourth wall that had been lowered to the ground using a gear and pulley system with heavy chains. Thus granting a view of the sparkling blue ocean that lay beyond the cliff where this building had been perched.

Stephen’s eyes narrowed on Earnest and he inhaled deeply. Earnest reached out with a foreleg to signal Stephen to settle down. “Please be calm and I’ll explain everything.”

Stephen pointed at Earnest. “This is your doing!” he shouted.

“Indeed, but if I may have a moment…”

“You sent that freaky unicorn to steal all those artifacts!” Stephen interrupted.

“In a manner of speaking but…”

“Why the heck didn’t you tell me when we met in Ponyville?”

“Please understand that…”

Stephen angrily paced the floor in short laps. “I’ve been all over Equestria while waiting to figure out who cast this stupid spell on me and you could have said something a week ago!”

“The timing just wasn’t…”

“To think of all the terrible things I could have avoided!” Stephen punctuated his roar by glaring at Earnest as hard as he could.

Earnest’s expression had grown cold. “Are you quite finished?”

“I don’t know!” Stephen threw his front legs in the air and came back down on all fours. With that, Earnest took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His horn glowed for a moment before his whole body turned a bright white. A green aura engulfed his body and when it subsided, Earnest had become slightly taller, more muscular and his horn gained about three inches with a curve. A large black gemstone had appeared in the cleavage of his vest. Then he opened his eyes, revealing two slit pupas and glowing green irises. Stephen felt his eyes go wide as he muttered, “You’re the thief.”

Stephen’s revelation suddenly brought several facts to light. Such as that this was a unicorn who could not only lift a piece of Stonehenge with his mind, but could also break the magic of other powerful unicorns and probably knew pony karate. This was the same pony that single-handedly defeated platoons of soldiers without so much as being seen. This was the same pony that not forty-eight hours ago, gave Applejack a concussion for standing in his way and was moments away from doing the same or worse to Stephen but stopped for reasons still unknown. This was the same pony that Stephen was currently facing alone, in a stone prison at the very center of who-knows-where, with the only opportunity for escape being off a cliff and into the ocean. All of the anger Stephen felt moments ago melted away into petrified fear. “What do you want with me?” he stuttered out.

Earnest stroked his chin for a moment before looking to Stephen as sincerely as one could with those eyes. “I suppose you could say I’m just looking for a friend.”

Stephen felt an eye twitch and he shook his head. “I don’t believe you. Pinkie Pie suggested that last week and I didn’t believe it then either.” He motioned to the row of artifacts in the back of the room. “You don’t need to go through all this to make a friend.” His voice involuntarily rose again. “Shoot, the first time we met, you were making friends with Pinkie just fine! Why did you need to disrupt my entire life to ‘make a friend’?”

“I assure you, nopony else can help me with what I need. Please walk with me and I’ll tell you everything.” Earnest walked past Stephen. When Stephen turned around, Earnest motioned towards the large double doors at the front of the building. Reluctantly, Stephen stepped forward and followed Earnest.

Stephen was led outside to the same sunny day that he had been experiencing in Canterlot. The front yard of the building was nothing but a large vegetable garden with a stone path running down the middle and leading towards a gate in the center of a cobblestone wall that surrounded the building. Stephen could hear the distant crashing of ocean waves and the occasional gully cry. About halfway towards the gate, Earnest resumed talking. “Back when I was a strapping chestnut colored colt, I was accepted into the first class of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns at the castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. That was a little more than three hundred years ago now.”

“Three hundred years! How is that possible?”

“In good time, Stephen.” Earnest’s horn lit up and a crank started turning gears, which opened the heavy gates, revealing a vast scape of tropical islands and steep cliffs. Earnest did not leave much time to admire the scenery and continued walking. “Through determination and with the help of my sister, I cleared the Princess’ curriculum in half the time as my peers and became the first to master my magical talents involving engineering and architecture.”

“You have a sister?” Stephen asked.

“In a way, yes. I don’t know if this is still the case but one of the entrance exams we received was to hatch a dragon egg.”

“Actually, I think that’s still true.”

“Really?”

Stephen nodded. “Celestia’s current student has a baby dragon living with her.”

“Good for her then. Conjuring enough power to hatch a dragon egg is no small task. But from there I adopted the baby dragon as my sister and named her Evalrog.” There was a moment of silence as they started walking down a hill towards a beach at the bottom. “Anyway, in order to ensure my talent reached its full potential, Celestia took me under her wing as her first apprentice.” Earnest stopped, turned towards the edge of the cliff and gazed out towards the ocean. “I was honored beyond all words. But this honor only grew as time went on and we became more than student and teacher. We confided in each other. The trust we gained for each other helped her push me to my full potential as much as it helped me push myself. I simply had to get better and prove myself worthy of her time.” Earnest’s expression lit up as if he’d just remembered something important before he turned to Stephen. “Tell me, have you ever heard the story of Nightmare Moon?”

“Actually, I heard all about it just a couple of days ago.”

“Good then,” Earnest looked back to the ocean as breeze rolled in from it. After breathing in the fresh ocean air and letting it flow through his mane, he continued. “When Celestia confided in me, I learned even in all that time, she had not fully recovered from the regret that inevitably comes with having to battle one’s estranged sister. I also learned that the Everfree forest was encroaching on the castle, bringing its numerous dangers with it. Then I started seeing the castle in a different light. Reminders of those in the royal family who were gone and their time spent together were everywhere. Wild monsters were threatening the livelihood of the castle’s residents with increasing frequency.”

“So what did you do?” Stephen asked, raising his eyebrow when the corner of Earnest’s mouth rose into a small smile and quickly fell.

“The time came for me to repay Celestia for everything she had done for me and prove to her that I was worthy not just as an apprentice, but also as her close friend. With these things in mind, I gave her the only thing a supposed master of architecture and engineering could give.” With that, Earnest turned and started walking back towards his house.

“What was that?” Stephen asked as he followed.

Earnest gave a proud smirk. “I built her a fortress unlike any other that Equestria had seen in aspects of size, placement, design, tactics, function and aesthetics. But above all, it was a place where the beloved princess could have a fresh start as monarch of Equestria. It was a place where her loyalest subjects could live with her in peace and prosperity. I realize now that it wasn’t the best I could do, but Canterlot has held up surprisingly well.”

Stephen raised an eyebrow. “Canterlot?” Earnest nodded in response. “You built that as a gift to the princess?”

“There is not one brick on that mountain that is out of place from my design.”

“How?” Stephen asked skeptically.

Earnest stopped walking when he reached the gate. “Evalrog has always been a great source of strength for me. At first, she merely kept me organized and ensured that I was always prepared. Then, as time went on, she started to grow and her physical strength rivaled that of my magic. We became the most efficient team on any construction site. But there was a price.

“Ironically, a mature dragon is not nearly as civil as a baby. Eventually, their nature takes over. It started with small tools or bricks going missing. I figured she was merely trying to build something herself. Then it turned into such greed and thievery that servants and citizens alike were complaining. When I tried to confront Evalrog about her hoarding, she grew to her full size and started acting like it.” Earnest closed his eyes and the tone in his voice dropped even lower than it was naturally. “There is no way to stop a fully-grown rampaging dragon. She was going to bring down the whole city. The Royal Guard neutralized the threat.” Earnest’s head lowered and his ears went flat. “I learned Celestia’s pain that day.”

Stephen’s took a big gulp and choked out, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. You had nothing to do with it.” Earnest perked up slightly. “Besides, in her last moments, Evalrog apologized, wished that I finish our projects and gave me her greatest gift.”

“What was that?”

Earnest placed a hoof on the black gemstone in his chest. “I discovered that when a dragon dies, their heart becomes the most precious gemstone in the world. I combined this with the fact that gemstones can be used to supplement magical energy and theorized that a pony could gain a dragon’s powers if they used a heart stone. But I feared that if others knew this, the consequences would be dire. After years of secretive research and training, I fused with Evalrog’s heart and gained her longevity.” Earnest raised his head back upright and gave a chuckle. Looking into Stephen with his snake-like eyes, he continued, “As you can see, this brought about some other, more apparent transformations.”

“So what happened next?” Stephen asked.

“With the prospect of serving by Celestia’s side and being there for her forever, I designed her a palace that would make Canterlot look like this ramshackle hut in which I live.”

“Why would you want to do that? Canterlot is amazing!”

Earnest rolled his eyes. “Canterlot is alright. It’s the best in Equestria. But it is still far from perfect - hence my fixing the ceilings on the museums I visited - and therefore not worthy of the princesses.” Earnest lowered his eyes and clenched his teeth as he walked back through the gate. “But the princess declined my proposal, believing it to be harmful to the country.”

“You didn’t agree, did you?”

“I tried to reason with her that it would be worthwhile once the whole kingdom was safe where the dangers of the wilderness and alien invaders couldn’t reach the peaceful populace of Equestria. Or that only perfection was worthy of a princess like herself. Instead, she rejected me as her student and said I may return when I understood what’s truly important.”

“So you’ve been living in exile ever since?”

Earnest stopped walking halfway to the building and turned to face Stephen. “It’s the only thing Celestia has ever been wrong on. What’s important is making all of Equestria safe. As its only leader that has ever been willing and able to do so, she deserves only the best in return.” Earnest sighed deeply. “I don’t know what the princess believes could be more important than that. But she will realize I am right when she sees her perfect palace.” Turning around again, he continued walking. “I lived in the wilderness, surviving off the land and defending myself against many of the creatures I seek to protect my fellow Equestrians from. Of necessity, I learned a variety of survival skills and combative magic. All the while, I searched for the resources needed to build my design. When I found what was here, at the Galloping Ghost islands, I built my home using rocks from the cliffs, planted my garden and my plan came together.”

“How so?” Stephen asked.

“I would have to find a way to import the resources I need from around the world.” Earnest directed Stephen inside the building and to his drawing board. Sketches, schematics and floor plans of both the inside and outside of his masterpiece covered the wall. Three desks were cluttered with quills, notes, open books, rough sketches and various measuring tools. Earnest directed Stephen’s attention to the largest of the schematics; a poster that was nearly twenty feet long and ten feet high. “I call it, Rhelm of Spirits – Pandemonium!” Then Earnest pointed to a long glass case that hung next to the painting. Various rocks and materials were placed in its shelves and labeled with the same symbols that were scattered around different areas of the blueprints. “This is Pandemonium’s legend,” said Earnest. “It shows everything I’ll need to build it. I keep a notebook listing where in Equestria everything can be found.”

Stephen’s eyes skimmed over the drawings. It was certainly a magnificent design. The palace featured canals, a wide moat, high rising walls that were topped with what appeared to be gold, held up by elaborately designed pillars and decorated with statues depicting various beasts of legend. Most of the palace would be constructed with the same type of rocks used for Earnest’s house. One drawing depicted the palace from afar and showed how it would be nestled in between the faces of several mountains. Then Stephen’s eyes wandered to the scale and widened as his head calculated the size of the palace. “Earnest!” he gasped, double-taking to make sure he was reading the scale correctly. “This thing’s area is a hundred square miles and two miles tall! You can’t build this!”

“I feared the same thing for the longest time. Since Celestia won’t grant me what I need, I had to wait until I found another way. Allow me to show you the fruits of my research.” Earnest led Stephen to the back of the room, where the statues stood on the open wall and overlooked ocean and islands beyond. “These three statues have been uncovered by archeologists, one at a time, over the last seventy years. Historians deciphered their powers and purposes from their names. Individually, they grant strength to any spell, hold it forever and bring knowledge of anything in existence. Together, they hold the seals to that gate.”

Stephen lowered his eyes to the beach but he never found what Earnest was pointing at. Instead, he shrieked and ran back inside, only to be grabbed by Earnest’s magic and placed back where he was. Stephen’s legs quaked as his eyes were instantly drawn back to what appeared to be a giant, black, three-headed dog that rested on the sands below, chained to an exceptionally large doghouse. “What is that thing!?” Stephen shouted.

“Cerberus is no concern of ours. Look into the ocean, where I’m pointing.”

Stephen looked again. Just below the surface of the water, he could make out set of gigantic black double-doors, which seemed to have a frame made of mammoth bones. The top was adorned with what appeared to be the skull of a giant bull with one exceptionally long fang. The top of its head bore antlers, one of a deer and the other of a gazel. “That gate is going to help you?”

“Indeed. I realized if the legends of these artifacts were true, they would be my only chance to prove myself to Celestia. When combined, they can be used to break the seal of the gate’s key and open the gate.” Earnest’s horn glowed and one of the pockets on his vest opened. A large, yet ordinary looking golden key floated from his vest and hovered in front of Stephen’s face. He followed its path around his head and to a short stone monolith at the edge of the cliff, which seemed to have a keyhole carved into it. The green aura around the key faded and it dropped to the base of the monolith. “According to legend; only a willing earth pony of sound mind can turn the key. That, my friend, is where I was hoping you would come in.” Earnest started walking back into the building. Stephen followed close behind.

“Finally, we get to the part that explains why I’m here, right?”

“Indeed,” said Earnest as he turned inside and walked to his bookshelf. After examining it for a moment, he levitated a thin green book with a tattered cover from the shelf. “This is the journal of Hugo the Dreamer; a Unicorn Tribe philosopher who was heartbroken when his true love, Princess Platinum, ventured into the wilderness with Clover the Clever to find a new land for the unicorns.” Clearing a spot with his foreleg, Earnest opened the book’s wrinkled brown pages and set it on the desk. “His journal speaks of needing to stay behind to care for his sick mother. Since he couldn’t be with Platinum, he conceptualized the Spirit Traveller spell. After consulting Starswirl the Bearded, three levels of the spell were written.

“The first level brings the target’s spirit to the caster when they sleep. But there was a limit to how far the spell could reach and Hugo could only hold it for a few hours before needing to replenish his magic. The second level could bring the target’s spirit to the caster in the form of an apparition at any time as long as the target was willing and in range. Starswirl had to cast this spell himself and could only hold it for a few hours. The third level was deemed by Starswirl to be impossible for unicorns to perform. That is what brings your spirit to Equestria with a complete earth pony body.”

“With the help of those statues, right?” Stephen asked.

“Precisely,”

“One of my friends figured it out earlier this week. Those artifacts are the only things strong enough to overcome the spell’s limitations such as distance, strength, finding your target…” Stephen glowered at Earnest as he continued, “…and bypassing the need for the target’s consent.”

Earnest nodded enthusiastically. “To a degree, yes. But it turned out that I could only bypass your consent if you weren’t conscious. So the spell was only able to take hold when you fell asleep.”

The only thing that stopped Stephen from losing his temper was his conscience reminding him of how strong Earnest was and that losing his temper might provoke a demonstration of said strength. After a few deep breaths, Stephen clenched his teeth and asked, “Earth ponies are not exactly rare in Equestria. Why did you need me?”

“Because nopony here in Equestria would be willing to turn that key. If they were, they’d probably be insane. Either of these circumstances would violate the enchantments that were placed on the gate key. I needed someone from a world that shared my love of advancement so they would be able to understand my plan to honor my beloved princess and make all of her subjects safe under one roof. Your world has everything I’ve ever wanted to see. Giant palaces, cities that touch the sky, high speed trains, flying machines and…”

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Stephen interrupted when his ire finally exceeded his desire to be polite.

“Come again?”

Stephen tried desperately to not snap at the potentially dangerous unicorn. “With all due respect, Earnest; do you know what being awake for two weeks straight does to someone?”

“You’ve been awake since I cast the spell?”

“Yes!” Stephen unintentionally shouted.

Earnest rubbed his chin. “I see,” another notebook and a dipped quill floated up to his head. The quill started scribbling on the notebook’s pages while he spoke. “Perhaps a spirit body can’t sleep since your mind is still conscious in its dream state when the spell takes hold. I’ll have to make note of this.”

“I can barely hold a train of thought because of you!”

“But your spirit body and original body are connected, so if one body doesn’t rest than the other won’t be rested either.”

Stephen’s leaking dam burst. With eyes clenched shut and his head lowered to the ground, he started pacing again. “The woman I had hoped to spend the rest of my life with left me because of you!”

Earnest set down the quill and notebook. “Please understand that you’re an experiment. Since nopony has ever cast the spell’s third level, there were factors I couldn’t know about.”

Stephen wasn’t listening. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a job that pays well enough to live off of where I’m from? I have to go through that all over again because of you!” A hard cover book slapping the side of his head interrupted Stephen’s rant and sent him to the floor.

“Pull yourself together,” Earnest commanded. “I can’t use you if you go daft on me.” Earnest offered a foreleg and helped Stephen to his feet. “I had no way of knowing how the spell would affect your body. I also had no way of knowing of the space-time factors that came with trying to bring your physical spirit body to me. So I miscalculated the distance and spent days searching for you in the Everfree forest before meeting you in Ponyville. If you want your ordeal to end, I shall reverse the spell once I’m done with you.”

Stephen sighed and got to his feet. Silently, he walked over to the monolith with Earnest following close behind. Stephen examined the key for a moment as it lay at the base of the monolith. Then he turned to look back at Earnest. “You said I have to want to open the gate in order to turn that key, right?” Smiling, Earnest gave him an encouraging nod and Stephen turned back to the key. All he had to do was grab it and he’d be on his way to solving all of his problems.

Stephen slowly reached down and gripped the key in his mouth. It felt similar to holding a nine-volt battery on his tongue, but he toughed it out with the promise of going home in his mind. After gazing at the monolith one more time, he tossed the key back to Earnest, who caught it in his mouth. “I don’t think you have any use for me anyway.” Earnest looked to Stephen questioningly. “Your little miscalculation ruined my life and I’ve been told that whatever you wanted could put Equestria in danger. Then you bring me here and show me that your goal is being guarded by whatever that thing is down there. Seriously, what’s going to stop it from tearing us apart for trying to open the gate?”

Earnest perked up. “Ah yes, Cerberus! Thank you for reminding me of that. One moment please.”

Earnest seemingly blinked out of existence in a flash of green sparks. Stephen looked around in confusion before three dogs started barking loud enough hurt Stephen’s ears. Pinning his ears back, he looked down to the beach below. The three-headed monster was barking and howling at Earnest, who had appeared just outside the reach of the monster’s leash. On either side of Earnest, there was a rubber ball and a cannon. Both items were at least twice the unicorn’s size. Earnest seemed to be bouncing back and forth playfully as Cerberus barked at him.

Suddenly, the large rubber ball floated into the cannon. Then Cerberus’ leash broke off the giant doghouse and Stephen barely heard Earnest shout, “Go get the ball!” a split second before the sound of cannon report shook the building and sent the ball clear over the horizon. Stephen watched speechlessly as Cerberus gave chase across the island and into the water. With a flash, Earnest teleported back to Stephen’s side. “As I said; he is no concern of ours,” Earnest boasted before playfully nudging Stephen with an elbow. “The last time I did that, it was four days before somepony brought him back.” Earnest cleared his throat and resumed his normal demeanor. “Now that we’re free of his potential meddling, are you certain I can’t convince you to turn this key?”

“Not happening,” Stephen said flatly.

Earnest attempted a pleading expression. “You’d be working for the greater good of all Equestria.”

“What could you possibly need beyond a gate like this anyway?”

Earnest rolled his eyes with a sigh. “If you must know, that is the gate to Tartarus; a prison for ancient monsters.”

Stephen’s eyes widened. “I thought you needed something to build your palace!”

“Precisely,” said Earnest. “It would take an army of ponies at least two hundred years to build Pandemonium. I will offer the prisoners of Tartarus freedom in exchange for honoring Celestia with my perfect fortress. With their combined strength and powers, clearing the Everfree forest and construction of the palace will be done in a fraction of the time.”

“What makes you think these things weren’t locked up in the ocean for a reason? What if they can’t be reasoned with or controlled? I thought you wanted to protect Equestria, not unleash an army of monsters to pave it over.”

“If they won’t cooperate than I will return them to Tartarus and try something else,” Earnest said irritably.

“Even if they cooperate, what do you think they’ll do once they’ve built your palace and they’re free? What’s to stop them from turning their wrath right back onto you?”

Earnest deadpanned at Stephen. “They’ll have an awful time dealing with Pandemonium’s perfect defenses, including a mile-wide lava moat.”

Stephen double-checked to make sure he didn’t mishear what was just said. “A lava moat? What?” he shook his head in disbelief. “Is that what the moat on the schematics was? Lava? How are you even going to get lava!?”

“Volcanis, one of the prisoners.”

“A lava moat is not going to stop the monster that built the lava moat!”

“You’re assuming that’s the only defense I have,” Earnest said irritably.

“Even on the off chance that Pandemonium is perfect and impregnable, what about the other countries? There are other countries in this world, right? What if these monsters go there and wreak havoc?”

Earnest’s voice started to rise. “Then that is their concern. My concern is the citizens of Equestria and nothing else.”

“Did you ever think that Princess Celestia, who you love so much, didn’t want Pandemonium for the reasons I’ve just mentioned? What if she tries to stop you?”

Earnest huffed at Stephen and scraped the floor with a front hoof. “Celestia will forgive me and take me back when she and my fellow Eqeustrians see what I have created for her.”

“Then there’s your fellow Equestrians,” Stephen continued. “Did you ever think that they wouldn’t want to uproot themselves to move to your palace? What if they ever wanted to leave?”

“Why would they want to leave?”

“Gosh, I don’t know!” Stephen said sarcastically. “Sometimes people get wander hungry. I have friends like that back home. Despite all the differences, Equestrian ponies don’t seem to act much differently than people where I’m from.” Stephen stopped and caught his breath. “Look; your designs are cool, but sometimes these things can go too far and what you want is simply too big. You’d have to level these islands for the bricks alone! I don’t see how it’s possible and ponies here seem to like their lives the way they are. So I won’t help you destroy an entire country for the chance to build one city.

“Be happy with what you’ve already made. Maybe Celestia will want to be friends with you again. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? It seems to mean a lot more to you than it really should, if I’m to be totally honest. As for me, I’d appreciate it if you’d just send me home.”

The key dropped to the floor and there was a long, uncomfortable silence between the two. The ambient noises of the beach below and the ocean beyond filled Stephen’s ears as he waited for Earnest’s response. All the while, he prayed that he wouldn’t react rashly to being denied.

With clenched teeth, Earnest walked over to the nearest wall, turned and bucked it. Metal on stone rang out in his house as he shouted, “Curse these constant delays!” Stephen’s eyes frantically searched the room for either an escape that wasn’t off the cliff or something to defend himself with. Before he could find anything, Earnest came back down on all fours and with his head hung low, trotted back to Stephen. Stephen’s teeth chattered with fear until Earnest glumly said. “Very well.” The unicorn’s body glowed white and a green aura engulfed him. When it disappeared, he appeared as a normal unicorn stallion. “I shall return you to Canterlot and find someone else.”

Stephen almost couldn’t believe that for the first time in two weeks, something looked like it would go his way. “Really?” he asked before internally chiding himself for trying his luck with such questions.

“I cannot force you to turn the key. So there is nothing left to be done.” Earnest placed a front leg over Stephen’s shoulder. “Close your eyes.” Stephen obeyed and with a spark, he felt the familiar falling sensation take him.

Awakening

Gliding over one of the palace’s towers, Celestia pulled herself upright and flared her wings. With a few powerful flaps, she controlled her descent and landed gracefully on the castle’s front steps. About a minute later, Luna trotted up to her from inside the castle. “Shining Armor is scrambling a squad,” she stated upon reaching Celestia’s side. “They will arrive by chariot in three hours.”

“Then we’ll be at the Galloping Ghost islands by dusk’s time,” said Celestia. “We may be in for a long day.”

“I understand,” Luna nodded. “Do you think Stephen will be okay?”

Before Celestia could answer, Stephen’s voice cried out, “Closing my eyes didn’t work!” from beyond the courtyard wall. The princesses exchanged surprised glances for a split second before bolting towards the castle gates.

Stephen’s world spun and he toppled over. A moment later, Earnest’s voice entered his ears. “Buck up, my boy. You’ll be alright,” Earnest chuckled. “But this is where we part ways. I wish you the best of luck.” There was the sound of an electric pop and Stephen no longer felt Earnest’s presence beside him. After a few seconds, Stephen put his legs under himself and was about to stand up.

“What hadst thou done!?”

“Aah!” Stephen shrieked painfully while clasping his head and rolling away from the blaring megaphone that had been placed against his left ear. Ringing ears were added on top of his pounding head, crossed eyes, racing heart and shifting stomach as he lay down and covered his head for protection. Peeking up through forelegs and unfocused eyes, he saw a tall white figure loom over a slightly shorter blue figure, causing the blue figure to shrink a little. Something was said, but the whole world sounded like high-pitched buzzing.

After a second, the ringing died down slightly and Stephen’s eyes focused in on Celestia as she leaned forward. “Are you alright?” she asked compassionately, sounding as if she was speaking from a distance. Stephen tried to reassure the princess by nodding. But nodding was a motion that his light head wasn’t ready for and he ended up plopping his muzzle into the ground.

“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen~ Nobody knows but me!” Stephen unconsciously sang into the grass.

Luna’s eyes shot open. “Sister, he’s under mind control!” Her horn lit up. “I shall retrieve him through his dreams.”

Celestia stopped Luna and shook her head. “Just give him a minute. Long distance teleportation takes a little getting used to and I don’t think he was in great shape to begin with.”

“We’re here, Princess! When do we leave?” Twilight’s voice came from behind them. The princesses turned around to see the six ponies galloping towards them only to stop when they saw Stephen sprawled out and motionless on the ground.

Wide eyes and gaping jaws came to most of their faces. Fluttershy looked away while Pinkie Pie inched forwards. “Is he…?”

“We believe he’s had a rough trip from the Galloping Ghost islands,” Luna said reassuringly.

A muttered, “I can do this!” came from Stephen’s direction and he began to stir. The pegasi rushed over to help him up. Shaking his head, the last of the ringing cleared from his ears although his head still ached and his eyes were still slightly fuzzy. This was probably going to be a part of him at least until he could actually get some sleep. “Which one of you had the megaphone?” he asked dizzily.

“My apologies,” Luna said in a quiet and compassionate voice. “I was nervous for the situation and forgot myself.”

“That’s understandable, I guess,” Stephen said, a hint of ire escaping unintentionally. “What was your question again?”

“I meant to ask if you had turned the key.”

Stephen could feel all eight sets of eyes fixate on him. “So you know about that?” he asked before shaking his head. “No, I didn’t.”

The whole group breathed a sigh of relief. “You were taken before we could explain what you were wanted for,” said Celestia. “I was afraid he might’ve convinced you to help him.”

“That guy is out of his mind if he thinks I’m going to help him.”

“We were just about to head out after you,” said Twilight.

“Did he tell you what he’s up to?” Rainbow asked.

“Yeah,” said Stephen as he stood up. “He wants to amass an army of titans to help him build a hundred-square-mile palace for the princesses.”

Seven sets of startled and confused faces turned to Celestia, who closed her eyes and gave a reminiscent huff. “But...why?” Twilight asked.

“Or how?” Rarity continued as they tried to grasp the implications.

Rainbow spoke up. “We’ll worry about that later!” She turned back to Stephen. “So who’s butt needs to get kicked for all this, Stephen?”

Stephen turned to Pinkie. “Pinkie, remember last week when we met a unicorn named Earnest?”

Pinkie nodded happily. “Of course I remember him. He’s the adventurer pony with the bright green eyes and the candy cane hair!” she said, fluttering her eyes and pulling back her mane into a shape similar to Earnest’s before letting it spring back to it’s original form.

“Actually he’s the dragon pony that robbed three museums, dropped me in the Everfree forest and took us for a ride a few days ago.”

“Really?” she asked curiously. “I wonder why he didn’t talk to you about it when we met him in Ponyville.”

“I know, right?” Stephen groaned.

“So what’s the plan now?” Rarity asked.

“We leave as soon as Shining Armor gets here, right?” Twilight asked.

Celestia shook her head. “We’ll leave first thing in the morning. In the meantime, is anypony ready for lunch?”

Six heads nodded in reply as they began to follow the princesses towards the castle. The mention of lunch made Stephen’s stomach growl. “You have no idea. I could eat a–” Stephen caught himself just in time by covering his mouth and faking a cough to hide it. He had no idea if Equestria had any figures of speech like that, or what sort of implications they might have if they did. But he wasn’t going to risk it, especially in the presence of royalty.

Rarity and Applejack turned around. “Were you about to say something, dear?” Rarity asked.

Stephen cleared his throat one more time. “Nevermind me,” he said as nonchalantly as possible. Applejack gave him a questioning look before shrugging and continuing into the palace.

The princesses led the ponies into the dining hall where they took their seats at a long table. Celestia sat at the head with Luna on her right and Twilight on her left. Stephen sat in between Luna, Fluttershy and Rarity with Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie sat across from them. A dark blue unicorn waiter in a suit took their orders with a floating quill and notepad. Though he had noticed the food between the two worlds were similar, the fact remained that Stephen ate a wild flower sandwich two days ago. Not entirely certain what to order, he asked, “What do you have?”

“Anything you desire,” the waiter responded in a posh tone.

Stephen’s stomach growled in a language the only he could understand and he decided to try his luck. “I’d like a bean burrito; stuffed with lettuce, red peppers, cheese, sour cream and lots of hot sauce.” To his surprise, the waiter simply nodded and wrote down the order.

“Anything on the side?”

“A big, leafy salad with ranch dressing.”

“Of course. And to drink?”

“A glass of milk.”

The waiter nodded again. “Coming right up, sir.”

“That’s quite the appetite you have there, Stephen,” Celestia said gleefully.

Stephen chuckled nervously. “Sorry if it was too much. Eating a lot helps me keep my energy up.”

“Not to worry. The cooks here are very capable.”

Twilight nodded in agreement before turning to Stephen. “Did you learn anything else about the thief?” she asked.

Stephen responded by looking to Celestia. “According to him, he was your first apprentice, Princess Celestia.”

Twilight gave her mentor a curious look. “Is that true?”

Celestia let out a small sigh. “Yes. His name is Earnest Stalwart. He was the top student in my first class at the School for Gifted Unicorns. He designed Canterlot and personally oversaw most of its construction.” A series of bewildered reactions filled the room. “While him and his assistant did a lot of good, he was obsessed with expansion and advancement. Eventually, his ambitions grew too big and I had to relinquish him as my student. I haven’t seen him since. I had assumed he was gone forever.” Celestia turned to Stephen. “Did he tell you how he managed to live for so long?”

Stephen nodded. “He fused with his sister’s heart and gained a dragon’s longevity. It’s like a big gemstone in the middle of his chest.”

Celestia lowered her head and gave it a disapproving shake. “Evalrog was such a sweetheart before she matured. Earnest told me he had buried her.”

“I guess all but one part,” said Stephen. “He said it’s what she wanted. But if you don’t mind my asking, your highness; what exactly is Tartarus?”

Celestia nodded sagely and began speaking. “Before my sister and I became princesses, Equestria was ruled by Discord – the master of chaos.”

Stephen raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like it was much fun.”

“It certainly wasn’t,” said Luna. “He would twist the land, the weather, the food, the animals, even the celestial bodies into anything he wanted. He was at his worst towards the end of his reign when he started creating monsters that would destroy anything in their path.”

“When Luna and I discovered the Elements of Harmony,” Celestia continued. “We stood up to Discord and turned him into stone. Order was restored to nature but for a time, Discord’s monsters ran free.”

“So Tartarus is their prison?” Stephen asked.

“Yes,” said Celestia. “But there’s more to it than that. With help from many of Equestria’s greatest magicians, we were able to create the magical amplifiers that Earnest now possesses. The Stone of Sisyphus was essential in the creating of Tartarus and overpowering the monsters. The Eye of Coeus saved us much time in hunting them down and rounding them up. The Globe of Atlas was the key to making sure their bonds in Tartarus were permanent.”

“Excepting the one you kept unlocked,” Luna said with a hint of irritation in her voice.

“Ah yes,” Celestia smiled. “Cerberus was relatively easy to train considering the headaches all of the other monsters gave us.”

“He’s just a big cuddly puppy,” Fluttershy spoke up. “I can’t imagine him being any trouble at all.”

Luna deadpanned. “Believe me, you do not wish to know what training him was like. I wanted to put him in Tartarus with the others and be done with it. But Celestia insisted we keep him.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “I thought he was cute and saw potential for good.” Then she smirked at Luna. “Was I wrong, dear sister?” Stephen tried to keep his eyes from bugging out in confusion. That giant three-headed dog was cute?

Luna answered her sister with an exasperated sigh and then continued the story. “Anyway, after we trained Cerberus to round up the monsters should they escape; we had the magicians create an enchanted key that would seal the gate and make it almost impossible to open. Once the spells were written, we enchanted the key several times. Each time adding more conditions that must be met in order for the key to be turned. What were those circumstances again, sister?”

“First, the pony must be willing to open the gate. Most ponies at least know what Tartarus is and know the destruction to Equestria would be devastating should the titans be freed. Second, they must be of sound mind and body. This makes sure the key can’t be turned by ponies who are malicious, insane or under mind control. Third, they must be an Earth pony. Since only a unicorn would be able to cast the spell on the artifacts to break the seal on the gate, if they are unable to turn the key, their efforts would be for nothing.”

“Then we hid the key in the most desolate part of Equestria where few ponies would venture,” Luna added proudly. “In a hidden chamber under a pyramid, cloaked with invisibility and placed on an altar that would collapse were it removed. Truly the many enchantments were an act of cunning!”

“So…how’d Earnest know where to go and what to look for?” Applejack asked curiously.

This time, Celestia gave a disappointed sigh. “Earnest had the Eye of Coeus to locate it for him. But he wouldn’t have known to look for the key if Merlin Lulamoon had refrained from writing down the plan like I asked him too.”

“Merlin was quite boastful about his contributions,” Luna added sagely.

“His father was like that too. It runs in their family,” Celestia groaned. “But I found out that he didn’t listen to me when news came out fifty years ago that somepony had found his journal and now bits of it are in history books across Equestria. I already had them believing that the powers of the artifacts were merely legends. So I convinced them that Merlin was the one who originally wrote the story after being really proud of some sculptures he made.”

Celestia stopped talking when four waiters brought rolling dinner trays into the dining halls and served the orders. After the princesses started eating, everyone else began as well and conversation was low until Rainbow Dash asked, “So why are we waiting to get this guy?”

Celestia set down her levitating fork. “I still believe it’s important that we take as much time as we can get to prepare. We can only guess what defenses Earnest has put up around his home and it’s best if we’re ready for them.”

Stephen hastily swallowed a large bite before speaking up. “Pardon me, your highness. But I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Earnest gave me a tour of his fort. I didn’t see anything except a twenty foot cobblestone wall.”

“Have you seen a single weapon since you came to Canterlot, Stephen?” Celestia asked.

Stephen took the time to think with another bite. “No, ma’am. I haven’t,” he said after swallowing.

“The outer walls of Canterlot are laced with defenses against invasions and the palace is riddled with traps that can be magically activated during an emergency. Barring a few exceptional circumstances, most threats wouldn’t get close to the throne room.”

“But they’re all perfectly concealed?” Stephen asked.

Celestia nodded. “I have no reason to believe he wouldn’t rig his home in the same way. Without my guidance, I doubt they’ll be as tame as Canterlot’s defenses. So I’d like to take plenty of time to make sure everpony is well fed, rested, debriefed and ready before we go in.”

Stephen looked down at his meal. His salad was gone and there wasn’t much left of his burrito and milk. He was feeling pleasantly full, even if still exhausted. “I don’t think we can all be well rested. But this food is delicious so being well fed shouldn’t be a problem at all.”

“Why would we not all be well rested?” Luna asked.

“Stephen hasn’t been able to sleep since he first came here,” said Fluttershy.

“Is that true?” Luna asked.

Stephen nodded. “I had trouble following Earnest’s explanation but I think it has something to do with my mind being conscious while connected to both of my bodies.”

Luna took a thoughtful expression. “If you’re still around after dinner, come find me. I might be able to help you.”

“Anything would be welcome, Princess. Thank you.”

“Please, call me Luna.”

Stephen nodded and with that, everyone continued their meals. When they were finished, the waiters came and took their plates. The princesses excused themselves and the other ponies got up to leave the dining hall. Stephen was entertaining thoughts of taking a nap under the cherry tree where he had conversed with the princesses when a pair of pink forelegs gingerly wrapped themselves around his neck. Stephen lost his balance for a brief moment when his head was pulled into Pinkie’s chest, turning his neck at an awkward angle.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“You said that the spell was going to be broken from you. Who knows when you’ll poof away from Equestria?”

“That is a good question,” Stephen said while trying to gently tug away from Pinkie’s embrace before his neck strained itself.

Pinkie held her grip. “This is your ‘thanks for giving us an adventure’ hug. Just in case you don’t get one before you leave.”

Stephen tugged again to no avail. If her grip was a little lower, this would be the perfect choke hold for Earnest, Stephen thought to himself. “I’m glad you enjoyed my company.”

“It’s not often I have a reason to stay up with my friends for two nights in one week. Or get to teach somepony how to dance. Or get a run for my bits in card games.”

Finally, Pinkie released him and started bouncing out. Stephen followed as he pulled the kinks out of his neck. “You girls have been way too kind to me. But it seems like you do this type of thing a lot.”

“Yep we do. But you’re the first to come from another world to join us.” With an extra high bounce, Pinkie turned to face Stephen. “Oh! What should we do while we wait for Shining Armor to get here?” she asked, walking backwards down the hallway.

“Actually, I’m still reeling from all the travelling I’ve done today. I think I’ll go rest for a little while. But if you’d come find me when the cavalry arrives, that’d be great.”

With another bounce and turn, she landed next to Stephen and walked by his side. “Okey Dokey Lokey. Let me show you where the guest rooms are.”

Stephen took the next couple of hours to rest and recuperate. This time, he tried keeping his mind to more positive things such as memories of good times with his friends. Inevitably, Selena occasionally passed through his mind. As much as he didn’t want to, he’d have to move the thought along before he dwelled on the fact that she wouldn’t be there when he got back. It would just have to be something he dealt with when this was over.

Surprisingly to him, some memories of his time in Equestria helped him smile while he rested. Despite everything that went wrong, parts of it were funny in retrospect. To think that at any moment, he would wake up back on Earth, never to see them again and not able to tell the story to anyone else – it was an interesting thought. After all they’ve done for him, wouldn’t it be rude if he were to suddenly disappear without a proper thanks or goodbye? Not that he could ever properly thank them for everything. But something had to be done before it was too late.

Now that he had thought about it, Earnest was certainly taking his time with breaking that spell. Was it a complex process? Did something go wrong? What if something happened to his body on Earth? As far as he knew, he had been laying in his bed for over three days. Does his body go into stasis when he’s in Equestria? What if it doesn’t? Of all the horrible implications that thought carried, the worst was easily the thought that he might have dehydrated himself to death. A dozen more questions ran through his mind, each scarier than the last. Remembering what Earnest said about this type of magic still being experimental, Stephen realized that there was probably no way of knowing the answers to these questions beyond speculation. He would just have to roll with it and hope for the best. In the meantime, he had to properly thank his friends for helping him.

Just as he was about to get up, there were three taps at his door. “Come in,” he called while hopping off the bed.

The door swung open and revealed a bouncing Pinkie Pie on the other side. “They’re here so I’m coming to get you like you asked!” she chimed happily.

“Sounds good. I was just about to get up.”

Stephen followed Pinkie out of the room, through the castle and onto a balcony where the group, the princesses and several soldiers were standing at attention as several pegasus-drawn chariots pulled off into the sky. Each soldier had a shimmering brown coat and steel armor, except for the unicorn leader standing in front. The leader had a plain white coat and gold-trimmed purple armor. Two-toned blue hair spiked up the top and down the back of what would otherwise appear to be a Trojan helmet.

Stephen was momentarily surprised when Twilight trotted up to the leader and embraced him. But then he realized that this must be Shining Armor – Twilight’s aforementioned brother who specializes in defensive magic. It gave Stephen a bit of comfort knowing that they were having a squad of trained soldiers accompanying them. Perhaps Earnest wouldn’t do so well when he is the one being ambushed.

When Celestia approached, the squad removed their helmets and bowed. Shining Armor was the only one to rise and greet her. “Princess, we came as fast as we could. We’re ready to go whenever you are.”

“Thank you, but there’s been a slight change in plans.” Celestia looked to Stephen. “Stephen, would you step forward please?” she asked gracefully.

Stephen nervously walked towards the squad. “Yes, ma’am?” he asked.

“This is Stephen. Until just before Luna wrote to you, he was the only one who could turn the Tartarus gate key. But he has refused and will return to his home soon. We’re safe for now. So please follow me and I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

Luna spoke up. “Once we have drawn a strategy; you and your soldiers may rest from your journey and prepare for tomorrow.”

Shining Armor nodded before twice clapping a rear hoof against the floor. His squad came back up to attention and barked, “As you wish, Princess!” With Celestia at the point, Shining Armor marched his squad into the castle.

The next few hours were spent mingling with the group. Rainbow Dash had taken to practicing tricks in the garden. Fluttershy was wandering about and looking for some animals. Rarity went into the city to do some shopping for herself. Twilight took the opportunity to further practice her new shield technique and Stephen found himself conversing with Pinkie Pie and Applejack.

At one point, Rainbow Dash invaded Twilight’s space and started zipping around her head like a fly. “Rainbow, what are you doing?” Twilight called out.

“Heads up, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash shouted back before diving straight towards Twilight with a full speed kick.

Twilight threw up her plow shield at the last second. Rainbow bounced off the shield. With an aerial turn, she adjusted her angle and charged Twilight a second time. When Twilight deflected her again, Rainbow flipped back and went for a rear attack. Twilight blinked away at the last second. Reappearing a few feet behind where she had been standing, she took a ready stance as Rainbow skidded to a halt against the ground.

Applejack reared up and cheered for her friends and Pinkie bounced while shouting, “That was amazing, you guys!”

Rainbow chuckled and trotted up to Twilight. “Nice moves, Twilight! Your brother wanted me to make sure you were quick enough with those shields.”

Twilight sighed in relief. “That’s good but you could warn me next time.”

“That’s not a good way to practice, Twiley,” Shining Armor’s voice came from behind Stephen. He turned around just in time to see the captain walk past him, naked but wearing a big smile on his face. If it weren’t for the hair colors and voice, Stephen would have guessed him to be a completely different pony from the one he saw leading the squad. “You won’t get a warning when you really need a shield.”

Twilight ran up to her brother to greet him. “How did the meeting go?” she asked happily.

“It was a lot to take in, but it’s nothing we can’t handle. Looks like you’re getting ready too. Been learning some new shield spells?”

“Yep,” Twilight said proudly. “It’s designed to redirect all blunt force so it glances off without taking it head on.”

“Sounds cool. Can I see it?”

Twilight nodded and threw up the mana plow formation. Shining Armor glanced over it before tapping it a couple of times. “What do you think?” Twilight asked.

“It looks pretty good. Mind if I try it out?”

“Go ahead.” Twilight turned to her friends. “You all might want to get behind me,” she said as Shining Armor took several steps back. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Stephen rushed to get behind Twilight. Stephen found himself standing at her right flank with a view of Shining Armor through the purple shield’s ethereal veil.

Shining Armor’s horn started glowing brightly atop his head and he pointed it at them. Stephen’s eyes were drawn to the apex of the shield. Is that where he’s aiming? Stephen asked himself as his eyes traced the angle of the shield and followed a path towards the sky. There was the sound of a flaring Roman candle as Shining Armor launched a small magic blast. Stephen looked down in time to see it strike the the angled point of the shield with a heavy metallic sounding ding. The blast zipped about twenty feet diagonally over their heads where it popped in the air like a bottle rocket.

“Now let’s see if it stands up on all sides!” Shining Armor called out as he formed several similar blasts in a line. They seemed to be aimed towards each of them through the shield and Twilight braced for impact. Stephen looked at a point on the shield directly in front of his face and his eyes glanced back at the top of a tree on his right side. The sound of shots being fired brought Stephen’s attention back forward in time to see each blast ricochet off the shield in front of the others where they would fly off in various directions and pop a few feet away. Stephen watched as the one that was aimed for him slid up the curve of the mana plow’s form and displaced a few of the tree’s leaves when it exploded.

Twilight’s friends cheered and hugged her while she banished the shield and Shining Armor galloped up to them. “Good job, Twiley!” he cheered and gave her a playful punch.

“What were those?” Twilight asked.

“Practice blasts,” Shining answered. “They mimic the weight of high powered magic blasts without being as explosive so a cadet’s defense can be tested safely. On most shields they just explode but I’ve never seen them slide off like that. I might just have to borrow that spell from you. Did you come up with that all by yourself?”

“Some of it. The shape was actually Stephen’s idea.”

“Really?” Shining Armor looked to Stephen curiously.

“We were expecting to face a unicorn that could break Celestia’s barriers with brute force. It was just a suggestion,” Stephen replied as plainly as possible, praying that he wouldn’t be the next of Shining Armor’s tests.

“That’s pretty awesome. Sounds like you’ve got a knack for that type of thing. Ever consider joining the guard?”

Stephen shook his head. “I only just recently learned how to keep my feet under me and I’m no good in a fight.”

Shining Armor chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’m just pulling your leg.” He turned and started trotting away. “I’m going to go find a snack. Catch you all later!”

Not long afterwards, dinner was served. It was just as good as lunch but Stephen spent most of the meal in a daze. Either the rest he had taken a few hours earlier had not been enough or he had been going for so long that it was losing its effect. He was getting anxious to see what Luna had in mind to help him out.

After the table was cleared, Luna beckoned Stephen to follow her. Out of the dining room, down several corridors and up many flights of stairs, Stephen did his best to keep up with the princess. However, between his much shorter legs and generally slower pace, he found himself falling behind yet again.

After the third flight of steps, Luna stopped to ask, “Are you going to be alright?”

By now, Stephen was sweating, panting and felt like he had to sprint in order to keep up with Luna’s long strides. There wasn’t any point in trying to hide it anymore. “Honestly, I don’t know.” He leaned against a wall and tried to catch a second wind. “I’m just…so exhausted,” he spoke in between breaths.

Luna backtracked down the steps until she was next to him. “Allow me to help. There’s only twenty steps to go,” she promised, holding out a foreleg. Stephen wrapped his foreleg around hers and leaned on it. With a tug, Luna helped him up to the next step and continued to do so towards the top of the tower.

Eventually, they reached the top of the tower and walked through a glass door. Stephen found himself on the balcony that overlooked the garden. Catching his breath, Stephen sat down and leaned against the railing. There, he caught sight of Celestia standing on the balcony of another tower on the west side of the garden. He wondered for a moment what she was doing before Luna tapped him on the shoulder. Looking up to her, he saw her horn was glowing.

“Please relax and accept this as thanks for not turning the key,” she said as she lowered her head towards him.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Stephen asked, uncertain of Luna’s advance. Luna’s head tilted down further and her horn touched the top of his mane. Suddenly, Stephen found himself unable to move as a warm sensation flooded him from head to hooves. A faint electric tingle ran through his body and he felt blood rush to his cheeks. He wasn’t certain how long this went on for. But it was the type of strange sensation that he didn’t want to stop. Eventually, Luna removed her horn. It took a moment for Stephen to process everything. But when he did, a wide smile came to his face. His eyes were clear and focused. His head no longer swam, felt weighted or ached. He sprang to his feet the same in a manner similar to that of a child getting out of bed on Christmas morning. With a stretch and a big yawn, Stephen felt awake for the first time in over a week.

“Feeling better?”

“I feel amazing! What did you do?” he asked excitedly.

“It’s a high level rejuvenation spell,” Luna replied. “You looked as though you may soon succumb to your exhaustion. So I gave you a little energy.”

“How?” Stephen asked curiously.

“As Princess of the Night, it is my duty to guard my subjects from nightmares. So I too must occasionally go a night or two without rest. There is magical energy everywhere in Equestria, even in the sky. Those who know how may borrow that magical energy so long as we do so without greed. The energy I’ve given you will only last a day. But it should be all we need to ensure that you make it through the trials ahead.”

Stephen was at a loss for words for a moment. He had no idea anything like this was possible. But there was no denying how much better he felt. However this world worked, he was starting to like it – regardless of whether or not he could understand it. “This is awesome, Luna. I can’t thank you enough.”

Luna gave him a smile. “Now then, would you like to see something truly awesome?” she asked.

He briefly wondered what could possibly be better than what just happened before declaring, “Certainly.”

Stephen watched as Luna turned around and looked towards Celestia. She waved for a moment and Celestia responded with a wave of her own. When Celestia put her foreleg down, her horn started glowing. At first, it was faint in the distance. But soon it grew in intensity until it was like a shimmering star that could very clearly be seen from across the garden. Stephen watched her intently, trying to figure out what she was doing. But then something seemed off.

Taking his eyes off Celestia and looking around, he could see the shadows of the towers growing long towards the east. This brought his attention up and his eyes as close to the sun as he could get without burning them. Shielding himself from the light, his brain almost completely refused to believe what he was seeing as the sun rapidly descended towards the west. Shaking the spots out of his eyes, he turned and looked back at Celestia, who had lowered her horn so it was pointing towards the ground.

The humming sound that always came with Twilight’s magic filled Stephen’s ears. He turned around again and saw Luna standing tall, eyes closed, horn aglow and wings stretched out wide. Suddenly, she crouched and Stephen flinched when she leapt over his head. He watched in fascination as she dived towards the ground, only to sharply pull up a few feet from landing. Her wings flapped rhythmically as she rose straight up over the tower, muzzle and forelegs stretched towards the darkening sky. The sun disappeared over the western horizon. Stephen’s mind blanked as stars became visible in the sky, only to be slightly drowned out by the light of the enormous moon rising from the east. For a moment, Luna’s flapping figure was perfectly silhouetted in the center of the celestial body, high above the tower. Then, as if it were nothing, she glided back to the balcony.

“What do you think?” she asked with an expectant smile.

Stephen’s mouth was starting to get dry from hanging open for so long. “I think I’ll never get over how different this world is from mine. But that was definitely the coolest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said as soon as his eyes adjusted to the new lighting.

Luna’s smile brightened. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” She gave him a small bow. “But now I must tend to my duties. Go rest and see to it that you don’t squander your energy. Tomorrow shall be most eventful.”

Stephen returned the bow. “Thanks again, Luna,” he said happily before turning around walking through the glass doors. As happy as he was to be awake, he still felt a need to thank his friends for everything they’ve done since he had forgotten to do so at dinner. It took a bit of self-discipline to heed Luna’s directions and not bound down the steps with all of his new energy.

While Stephen didn’t misspend the energy, he didn’t waste it either. As he was strolling through the castle, Rarity had returned from her ventures in the city with bags of fabric in tow.

“Hey, Rarity!” he called out to her.

“Stephen,” she called back. “You’re looking rather chipper. Are you feeling better?”

“Much better. Luna’s magic worked wonders.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Say, since you’re feeling better, would you like to help me get these supplies to my suite?”

“Certainly,” Stephen responded happily. Rarity levitated a couple of her bags over his back and led him through the castle. They spent the next hour or so conversing about her day and having her teach him about the different materials she’d bought. Stephen silently noticed as she talked with him how much more clear his mind seemed and how much easier it was to hold interest and pay attention to what Rarity was saying. As the conversations came to a close, Rarity gave a comment about beauty sleep and sent him off. Stephen made sure to thank her for everything in case he didn’t see her again and continued on his stroll.

In the garden, he found Twilight and Fluttershy and joined them in their conversations while they walked. They shifted from the different types of plants and animals in the garden to telling Stephen stories of past experiences here – all of which were hilarious. As Twilight finished the story of having one of her birthday parties here, they noticed a pony’s figure sneaking away from the gardener’s shed.

“What’s going on!?” Twilight called out. A startled gasp from a raspy voice responded. Twilight lit up her horn and caught Rainbow Dash in the light. She was carrying full saddlebags.

“Is something wrong, Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow flew up to them, holding out her front hooves and shushing Fluttershy. “Quiet!” she said in a loud whisper. “I’m trying to sneak up on Pinkie Pie.”

“Umm…Why?” Fluttershy asked curiously.

“I need to outdo that prank she got me with last Monday and I’ve got the perfect idea,” she said deviously. “In fact, I could use a little help!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Ugh! I don’t want any part of this. It’s getting late.” Twilight turned to walk away.

Rainbow turned to her other friend. “How about you, Fluttershy?”

“Oh, thank you for considering me but I’m really no good with pranks,” Fluttershy said softly. “Twilight’s right though. It is getting late. Just be careful and you can tell me all about it later.”

“Ah! Alright!” Rainbow gave a disappointed sigh. Then she looked back up at Stephen. “What about you? Wanna help me?”

“Are you certain this is a good idea?” Stephen asked.

Rainbow scoffed. “We do this type of stuff to each other all the time. Come on, it’ll be fun!” She exclaimed as she tried to tug him along. When Stephen didn’t follow right away, Rainbow turned and held her forelegs out to him. “Please!”

With some thought, Stephen figured that Rainbow’s prank was innocent enough and followed along. After all, it was just one more fun thing to do during his last night in Equestria. “Alright, as long as it’s nothing too bad.”

“Don’t get in too much trouble, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight called out as she was walking away.

“Oh, hang on just a second.” Stephen zipped over to Twilight and Fluttershy to give them the same thanks he had given Rarity. Once they welcomed him and bid him goodnight, they were back on their way and Stephen returned to Rainbow Dash.

Armed with the tools that Rainbow procured from the gardener’s shed, the two made some minor adjustments to the showerhead in Pinkie’s room. After a quick test to see that their plan would work, Stephen and Rainbow attempted to flee the scene.

However, they were stopped at the room’s doorway when Pinkie appeared with a delighted, “Hey, Dashie! What’cha up to?”

Rainbow hovered just over Pinkie’s head and her eyes were looking at everything but Pinkie. Scratching the back of her head, Rainbow stammered out, “Oh…you know…Just looking for some…more shampoo…Yeah! My bathroom’s out of it so I thought I’d borrow some of yours. But I couldn’t find any here either.”

Pinkie giggled. “You’re silly,” she said. “If you needed some, all you had to do was ask.” Pinkie happily trotted into her room.

As soon as she turned the corner into the bathroom, Rainbow scooped up Stephen and flew out the closest window. “Hey!” Stephen let out a startled gasp only to be shushed by Rainbow. She plopped them both down just under the windowsill and waited quietly with their backs against the wall.

“What are you talking about, Dashie? The shampoo is right here!” they heard Pinkie call out from inside. “Rainbow Dash?” she asked a moment later. “Where’d you go?” Another second passed and Rainbow Dash said nothing. “Oh well!” Pinkie chirped. “More for me.”

Rainbow stifled a chuckle and peered through the window. Stephen looked up too and saw Pinkie trot into her bathroom and close the door. A wide, devilish grin came to Rainbow’s face when the sound of water jets came through the door. “Wait for it,” she chuckled.

Stephen kept his eyes peeled for about ten seconds. Just as he was starting to wonder if he should be staring at Pinkie Pie’s bathroom door, a shrill scream and Rainbow Dash bursting into laughter interrupted his thoughts. The bathroom door burst open. From a cloud of steam came a raging and soaking wet Pinkie Pie that was now sporting a sky blue mane and coat from her head to the middle of her back. As much as Stephen wanted to laugh, he figured it would be a good idea to let Pinkie calm down first. He tried to get Rainbow to hide again, but she was too swept up in the hilarity of her prank. Stephen’s attempts at shoving her back into hiding had no effect. But the sudden, “Rainbow Dash!” coming from inside the room instantly gained her attention.

Still cracking up, Rainbow jumped up and spread her wings. Stephen scrambled to get away. Before either of them could get far, a blue and pink blur snatched Rainbow out of the air and brought her down on top of Stephen. The tangled mess of fur and feathers rolled a couple of times before unraveling itself with Pinkie Pie holding down her friends, a front hoof on each of their chests.

“How could you guys do this to me?” she asked, staring into them with wide eyes.

“That’s what you get for giving me those cupcakes baked with hot sauce and switching my milk with watered mayonnaise!” Rainbow shot back in mid chuckle. “It took all day to get that taste out of my mouth!”

“But I’m Pinkie Pie! I can’t be Pinkie Pie if I’m blue! What would that make me?”

“How about Blueberry Pie?” Stephen blurted.

Pinkie froze for a moment. Stephen and Rainbow exchanged worried glances just before Pinkie snorted and then burst into laughter. She fell over next to Rainbow Dash and tried to catch her breath in between peals. “You guys are too funny!” Rainbow started laughing with her. Seeing that no harm was done, Stephen relaxed and started laughing with them as well. Eventually, Pinkie let out a loud sigh and got back to her feet. She tried to shake herself dry while Stephen and Rainbow got up as well. “Looks like you got me.”

Rainbow let out another chuckle. “Don’t worry, Pinks. That dye will wash out in the morning.”

“This one’s going to be hard to top, Dashie. You’d better be ready.”

“I’m always ready,” Rainbow boasted. “But for now, I’m gonna hit the sack. See you two later.”

“Rainbow Dash, wait!” Stephen called out before she could take off.

Rainbow stopped and turned around. “What’s up?”

“I’m actually surprised I’m still here,” said Stephen. “So in case I go back home sometime tonight, I just wanted to thank you all for all the help you’ve given me.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Rainbow said confidently while holding out a hoof. Stephen reached out and bumped it. “I told you we’ve got your back. Good luck if we don’t see you!” with that, Rainbow took off and Pinkie gave him another hug.

“Maybe Twilight will let me use her bath,” she said with a giggle. “See you in the morning, Stephen!” she called out as she bounded away.

The next friend he found was Applejack. She was walking back to her room and balancing a dish of small pastries atop her hat. “Hey, Applejack!” Stephen called out. “Getting yourself a snack?”

“You bet,” Applejack smiled. “Nothin’ like a good snack before hittin’ the hay. You wanna grab one for yourself?” she asked, lowering her head.

“Certainly, thank you,” Stephen grabbed one of the pastries from the plate and bit into it. It was a small apple pie, like the ones served at fast food restaurants, but tasted way better. “I’m feeling more alive than I’ve felt in weeks and just got done hanging out with all the others. Is there anything you want to do?”

Applejack chuckled. “Sounds fun, buddy. But I’m plum tuckered and itchin’ for some shut-eye. You gonna ride out with us tomorrow?”

“I haven’t really thought about that. Honestly, I don’t even know if I’ll still be around. So if you’re going to bed, I should probably say goodnight and…”

Applejack raised a hoof to stop him. “Don’t you worry none, sugarcube. I already heard about you going around and gracin’ us with your thanks like ya ain’t gonna see us again. If ya wanna thank us, do it by makin’ sure you get home safe. Sound good?”

Stephen wasn’t certain why, but he didn’t entirely agree with Applejack. However, Applejack wanted to go to bed. So instead of pressing the issue, he simply nodded. “Sounds good, Applejack. Sleep well.”

“Thanks. Ya’ll might want to stay rested too.” With that, Applejack walked into her room, waved goodbye to Stephen and shut the door.

Stephen wandered back into his room and laid down quietly for the rest of the night. At first, his thoughts started out down another path of what had become of his body back on Earth. But this train of thought only lasted for a little while before he realized that unless his body had gone into complete stasis, there is no way that this would end well.

Sparing himself the crippling suspense of not knowing what was going on, Stephen switched tracks to what he was going to do in the morning. Part of him wanted to stay as far away from the battle as possible. But there was a small part of him that wanted to go, just to make sure he saw Earnest get detained with his own eyes.

As he thought about today’s conversation with Earnest, a strange feeling rose within him. He could feel his muscles clench and his heart rate pick up slightly. The only other times he felt anything similar to this was when he faced the timberwolves and during the ambush at the pyramid. But this was different. This feeling wasn’t as intense or nerve wracking. This feeling brought Stephen a level of determination and focus that he had never felt before.

Was it because Earnest’s ambitions set into motion a series of events that caused Stephen incredible pain and loss over the last few weeks? Yes, but there was more to it than that. Was it because Earnest’s ambitions were misguided and destructive on top of plain ludicrous? Yes, but these reasons were still insufficient. Was it because as soon as the spell wore off of Stephen, he would go home? But why would that be a problem? As soon as Stephen goes home, he has to go about rebuilding his life – a task that could very easily prove more arduous than anything encountered in Equestria. Putting those thoughts aside, Stephen remembered that Earnest knew what went wrong with the Spirit Traveller spell and would not likely make the same mistakes again. As soon as Stephen goes home, Earnest will bring another human directly to his fortress and have them turn the key. That person would be sent on their way and wake up thinking it was all a dream, just as Stephen had done initially. Meanwhile, Equestria would be destroyed by an army of ancient monsters.

That was it! That is why these new feelings of righteous indignation were swelling up within him. This went beyond Stephen’s problems or even the risk of having Earnest do the same thing to someone else. If Earnest isn’t stopped, Equestria will be torn asunder and all the efforts that his friends have put into him will have been for nothing.

The memories of how Stephen froze when he came face-to-face with a timberwolf flashed through his head. The pang of guilt rose up again as he remembered how his complacency almost cost Applejack her sister. Stephen might never live that down in his own heart. It would be impossible to carry the guilt of an entire nation destroyed by his selfishness. The timberwolves weren’t even really his fight! But Earnest had practically handpicked Stephen as a test subject in his deranged plan. He was the true victim here. This was Stephen’s fight more than anyone else involved. Regardless of what the consequences may be, he would make sure that he was the only victim.

Stephen chuckled and chided himself. Why did he think that the quality time he spent with the group today and the goodbyes he gave them would be sufficient as thanks by itself? The only way he could properly thank his friends would be to try to help them as much as much as they have helped him. Even if he weren’t much of a fighter, even if it was just for moral support, he would be there and do his best.

Not just feeling more awake than he had felt since the ordeal began, but feeling more awake than he had ever felt before; Stephen hopped out of bed and walked out into the garden just in time to see Celestia and Luna take their posts on the castle towers. This time, Celestia was on the east and Luna was on the west. Stephen watched as Luna lowered her glowing horn to the west and Celestia flew up into the sky. The princesses dragged the celestial bodies across the sky with their movements. It was just as amazing as the first time he had seen it about eleven hours previously and he could still hardly believe it.

Breakfast was eaten with his friends, the princesses and Shining Armor’s squad. Stephen filled up on strawberry pancakes and fruit salad. Once the table was cleared, the princesses led the group to the same balcony where the soldiers had landed the day before. They waited and engaged in light conversation for about an hour before Shining Armor and his squad appeared, armored and ready to go.

“Is everypony ready?” Celestia asked. The group nodded. Shining Armor and his squad saluted. Celestia signaled them at ease and then turned to Stephen with a curious glance. “Have you decided to join us, Stephen?”

Stephen narrowed his eyes, smiled confidently and puffed out his chest. “Your highness, count me in!”

Domino Effect

The princesses gave Stephen’s tenacity an approving smile that was shared by Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Twilight and Fluttershy looked surprised at his decision while Rarity and Applejack held a mix of approval and concern. Stephen assured them he was ready with a confident nod. He had spent all night meditating on this after all. He was going to knock on his captor’s door with his friends and a squad of soldiers by his side. He had never been more ready for anything.

“Princess Celestia!” came the gruff shout of another armor-clad pegasi as he rushed onto the balcony. “Reports just came in of Cerberus running wild in Las Pegasus.”

Celestia’s expression changed to surprise. “Again? How does that keep happening?” she asked softly.

Stephen’s heart sank into his stomach. “Oh…I forgot to mention that, didn’t I?” he asked sheepishly.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“Earnest let Cerberus off his leash yesterday while I was with him. He lured him away from the gates by making him fetch a giant rubber ball from a cannon.” Twilight and the group were simply stunned by the revelation. Luna gave her sister an exasperated look and Celestia rolled her eyes. “Sorry I forgot to tell you.”

“That’s alright, Stephen,” said Celestia. “I suppose I’ll have get him to come back then.” She turned to Shining Armor and Twilight. “Can you handle this without us?” Twilight and Shining Armor nodded. “Luna and I will need to take a detour then. We’ll arrive a few hours after you do.” Celestia’s horn glowed and a jewel-encased box floated towards Twilight from her chariot. “You’ll need the Elements of Harmony just in case the gate gets opened. They’re essential in sealing it shut again. Be safe, my little ponies.”

“You can count on us, Princess Celestia!” Twilight said confidently.

Stephen’s confidence dropped but he caught it before it fell too far. They were losing the strongest magic users present from the convoy. But they were still getting the jump on Earnest and outnumbering him by at nearly two dozen to one. That should still be enough, right? Stephen considered all of the factors as he loaded himself into a chariot with Rarity, Fluttershy and Twilight.

Shortly after the princess’ chariot flew off the balcony and turned towards the south-west, the Pegasus soldiers that were pulling the other five chariots began flapping and taking off in line and turning directly south. Stephen’s chariot was last in the line so he had plenty of time to brace himself for when their drivers lurched forward. Taking off on the balcony was a similar sensation to taking off in a plane. The exposed nature of the chariot soon turned the feeling into something akin to riding a roller coaster. He wasn’t afraid of the height or speed but the lack of a safety harness slightly unnerved him nonetheless. Not wanting to risk anything else shaking his resolve, he lay on the floor with his forelegs folded under him and tried to ignore it.

The convoy flew for a long while before making a rest stop at a beach. Afterwards, Shining Armor joined his sister in their chariot and they took off over the ocean. Anticipation slowly built into anxiety and after gliding for a while, the pre-fight jitters had taken over completely. Stephen completely forgot about not being strapped to his seat and was pacing the chariot. “How far off are we? Can we get the drivers to start flapping again? We can’t be too far off, right? Come on, let’s bring it in!”

Twilight raised her eyebrow at him and Fluttershy was looking nervous for him. Shining Armor gave a light chuckle. “I heard from Applejack that you don’t normally go for this type of adventure. What made you change your mind?” he asked.

“Last night I realized that if he just gets rid of me and gets someone else, then he’d probably do the same stuff to them and hurt the rest of Equestria. Whether I like it or not, this is my fight now and I should make sure nobody else is victimized.”

“So you’re going to charge in with us when we get there?” Shining Armor responded.

Stephen remembered everything he had learned from Applejack about being brave and from Pinkie about acting without thought. “I’m just going to go for it and hope whatever I have to do comes to me. I did manage to get close to him when we fought at the pyramid.”

Shining smirked and said, “Then what happened?”

Stephen sighed. “Then he hit me with some kind of wrestling move…and a cactus,” Stephen admitted sourly before looking back up to Shining with a hopeful expression. “Is there any way I can prevent that from happening again?”

“Well I don’t think there’s any cactuses at the Galloping Ghost islands,” Shining quipped. Stephen only half-succeeded at holding back a scowl. Shining Armor took a thoughtful pose. “How much do you know about fighting?”

“My only attempt at fighting ended in two hours of painful grooming.” Shining feigned optimism with a strained smile. “Looks like I’ll have to figure out something else, doesn’t it?”

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Shining said reassuringly. “But if you find yourself where you absolutely have to fight; just punch, buck, keep moving and do whatever you have to do until someone can help you.”

“Captain, we’re approaching the islands!” the husky voice of one of the drivers interrupted their conversation.

Everyone in the carriage shuffled to the front and looked over the drivers’ shoulders. There was the large, green and rocky island with a cobblestone wall at its summit. Shining Armor leaned forward and barked, “Land us on the smoothest point at the bottom of the hill. I want a slow and careful approach to that building.”

Stephen leaned over to Twilight. “You can teleport, can’t you?” She nodded in response. “What if we you just dropped us into his living room? If we go up the hill, we’ll be more likely to be seen.”

Twilight shook her head. “Teleporting a lot of ponies is difficult and I’ve never been inside that building before.”

“We would have already run into other obstacles if he was expecting us,” Shining Armor interjected. “We’re going to try to find and disable his traps. Then we’re going to rush his house and restrain him before he can teleport away. The princesses will take him back to Canterlot when they arrive.”

“Oh, I hope this goes by without too much trouble,” said Fluttershy. “I don’t want anything bad to happen but I don’t want to hurt anypony either.”

Twilight patted Fluttershy on the back. “Don’t worry, Fluttershy. It’ll just be an Inhibitor spell and a Binding spell. Maybe some rope if Applejack gets involved. I’m sure everypony will be fine.”

“And this time we’re the ones with the element of surprise,” said Stephen.

Some mild turbulence buffeted the chariot as they descended to the beach. Stephen’s chariot made a bumpy landing at the bottom of the hill. The drivers turned sharply and circled around while the other four did the same. After a minute of observing their surroundings, Shining waved to the other carts. Thirteen armored soldiers, six element bearers and Stephen quietly got into a semi-circle formation and slowly made their way up the hill. Twelve armored Pegasus soldiers unlatched themselves from the chariots and stood in line, covering the group’s six.

Shining Armor took point, his horn glowing menacingly at the ground as he made their way up the hill. Three soldiers on either side of him poked and prodded the ground carefully as they advanced. Three more on each of the formation's flanks held their heads high, simultaneously watching the front and sides for danger. Twilight and her friends marched behind Shining Armor, except for Pinkie, who bounced along with her ever-present smile.

“These islands are gorgeous,” Rarity whispered as they trotted along. “We simply must come back here when there isn’t so much at stake.”

Stephen wasn’t sure what to think. Everything seemed to be going smooth and he was grateful for that. But he was trying to think of a plan for himself if trouble did appear. Yet his progress was being impeded by the noise of Pinkie’s skips being amplified by the solemn silence of the situation.

When they were about halfway up the hill, Stephen decided he was going to politely ask her to settle down. Just as he had opened his mouth to do so, Pinkie stopped bouncing on her own. Replacing the hopping was an uneven fluttering of her ears and eyes.

“Are you alright?” Stephen asked when Pinkie’s front legs started quaking.

With wide eyes she reached out to the front of the group and shouted, “Watch out for opening doors!”

Pinkie and her friends closed into a tight circle and the whole group went alert. One of the soldiers on point kept walking and blurted, “I don’t even see any…”

The grass illuminated in a thin line across the breadth of the island under the soldier's front hoof. A forty-square-foot trap door went agape and swallowed four of the soldiers into a dark pit. Loud squeaking brought Stephen’s attention to the sides, where several hidden doors sprang open. Large balls were launched from the openings and expanded into nets.

Stephen saw a narrow path for escape. Assuming the others saw it as well, he abandoned trying to plan further and bolted towards Earnest’s outer wall.

“Again!?” Twilight yelled before giving chase with her friends close behind.

Shining Armor was able to shoot down a few of the nets but found himself overwhelmed by their numbers. When two more of his soldiers were trapped, he moved to freeing them. But Earnest had covered his bases. The nets were not only physically heavy, but resistant to magic. With more coming down, he could only order his men to not get trapped and help those who had been once they stopped raining down on them.

His attention was brought up when Fluttershy sped past him, repeating a nervous, “Oh my gosh!” Looking back, he saw that the holes had stopped spraying balled nets into the air. But steel posts were rising out of the other holes. They turned themselves towards Twilight and her friends as small sections of grass lit up under each of their steps.

Stephen was about thirty feet from Earnest’s gate when his peripherals caught the metal posts sticking out of the ground. Their oval shape and the way they had two holes in their front sort of reminded him of those annoying turrets from Portal 2. With a shriek, he dropped flat on the ground just in time to hear several bullets whiz over his head.

A split second later, the world gained a purple hue and Stephen stopped feeling the wind from bullets. Peeking up, Twilight’s mana plow had formed around him and his friends and the turrets were buffeting the shield with rubber-sounding pings. Twilight ran up beside him and shouted, “Why did you run ahead again?”

As if to answer her question, Rarity squealed. Stephen and Twilight turned to see her backing away from a fallen net. Stephen glanced up for a split second and saw the last of the nets coming towards them. “Forward! Quick!” was all he could manage as he scrambled ahead.

Shining Armor watched as Twilight covered her friends and pressed forward. If the traps they’d run into outside were almost overwhelming then he could only imagine what was awaiting them inside. Throwing a force field around himself, he commanded, “Get rid of these things!” and chased Fluttershy to the gate.

Rainbow Dash latched onto Pinkie Pie. Braving the onslaught of rubber bullets, she bounded straight up and was out of their line of fire in a fraction of a second. With a few hard flaps, they made it over the wall unscathed. Meanwhile, Twilight separated the mana plow down the middle and her horn lit up like a wild torch. With a forceful cry, she blasted the gate, destroyed its lock and smashed a hole in its middle.

When they made it through the hole, Rainbow and Pinkie were waiting. “We did a quick check and didn’t see anything,” Rainbow said confidently. “I think we’re clear.”

“That’s good,” Twilight said as she lowered her shield.

“Twilight!” Shining Armor’s voice came over them. They turned to see him galloping towards them, his own force field holding fast while under constant bombardment. He was almost through the hole in the gate when a bright green veil came around the wall. Shining Armor slammed into it head first and fell back on his haunches.

Twilight gasped and rushed over to her brother. But she couldn’t move through the newly formed force field either. “Shoot!” she shouted.

Shining Armor lowered his shield for only a moment and rubber balls pelted his armor hard enough to knock him back and leave dents. Recasting his shield, he looked to Twilight and said, “This force field is big but it’s not very strong,” his voice was muffled through the shields. “Just give me a minute to get rid of these things and I’ll be in there.”

“We gotta go now!” said Rainbow Dash. “If we wait, we’re giving him a chance to get away.”

Shining Armor grimaced. “Alright. Just be careful in there.” Twilight nodded in response and reunited with her friends.

“Let’s do this!” Rainbow called out. With a battle cry, she took point as the group charged Earnest’s stronghold. All but Stephen slammed into the entrance with a painful thud and landed in a pile-up at the foot of the door. The group staggered to their feet and shook the stars from their eyes.

Stephen looked sheepish. “The door opens towards us. Sorry about that.”

“Is there anything else we should know before we go chargin’ in there?” Applejack groaned.

“Not that I know of.”

Twilight sighed and used her magic to pull the door open. The group trotted inside confidently and saw Earnest sitting on a pillow at his desk. His curved horn was glowing, his mane was disheveled in spots and his draconic eyes were pouring over several books that were erratically strewn about the desk. “My guests don’t seem to appreciate Celestia’s work,” his deep voice echoed through the room as he rose from his pillow and straightened his mane with a foreleg.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow Dash called out.

“Else you’d leave and get to see her sunrise again!” he called out angrily.

Pinkie Pie sprang forward, her eyes wide and watery. “Earnest!” she called out through a frown. “I gave you cookies! How could you not tell me you wanted to destroy Equestria?”

Earnest turned his attention towards Pinkie. “I thought I recognized you. Those cookies were delicious, by the way.” His left eyebrow raised and he turned to Stephen. “Ah, and a good afternoon to you too, Stephen. You must be the group I had that unpleasant encounter with at the pyramid.”

“Explain yourself!” Rarity called out.

Earnest groaned. “I don’t know what nonsense Stephen gave you about destroying Equestria. I simply need help garnering it’s many resources to make all of it’s inhabitants safe. I don’t know why you young ladies keep standing in my way, but I’m not going to tolerate any more delays. So be on your way before this gets ugly.” He turned to Stephen again. “I’m experiencing some minor complications in unraveling the spell I placed on you but I feel close to a breakthrough.”

The group slowly circled up on Earnest. “We’ve been sent by the princesses,” said Twilight. “We’re not leaving without you.”

Earnest cranked his neck to either side, releasing several loud pops. “In what way did you disobey the princess?”

Rarity gasped aloud. “Twilight has always been the epitome of a good student!” she defended. “Why would you suggest such a thing?”

“I don’t believe you were sent by Celestia. She’s too kind to send students into danger when they’ve been obedient. I bet you’ve come to open the gate for your own selfish ambitions!”

“That’s enough out of you!” Rainbow yelled as she dived for him.

Earnest sidestepped from her tackle and she rebounded off the stone floor. Applejack threw a hard buck to his flank. He spun and redirected her kick by the ankles before shoving her back. Rarity and Pinkie lunged at him from either side and collided with each other when Earnest ducked out of the way. Earnest sidestepped a bolt from Twilight’s horn and returned with one of his own, knocking her back. Signaled by Stephen’s attempt at a battle cry, Earnest turned to his right and crouched. Shoving his head in between Stephen’s front legs, Earnest shot forward and jerked up his head. He raised Stephen onto his crest and dropped to the ground, slamming Stephen into the floor. Spinning again, he raised his armored hooves to Fluttershy, who simply crouched and tried to hide behind her mane.

Earnest lowered himself and looked at her curiously. “Young lady, aren’t you going to defend yourself?”

Fluttershy peeked up at him and then looked away for a moment before turning her gaze back up. “Um...no.” She stated plainly.

“Well it wouldn’t be very noble of me to strike an opponent who’s not fighting. You may run along.”

“Oh...Okay. Thank you,” Fluttershy straightened her posture and gave a small stomp. “But you have to stop hurting my friends.”

“I’d love to. Just as soon as...” Earnest vanished in a prismatic flash and with a meaty thud.

Rainbow Dash and Earnest Stalwart fought for dominance as they rolled across the floor. Applejack was close behind with her lasso at the ready. When the two ponies untangled, Earnest had Rainbow sprawled out flat and pinned by her dock. Rainbow Dash got her front hooves under her and bucked up with a grunt. Earnest reared to the side and the kick glanced off his stomach. Just then, Applejack hooked a foreleg around his neck and rolled over his back. Earnest’s hooves came off the ground as she picked him up and nailed him down.

Turn him up quick by the right elbow. Applejack thought to herself as she rolled Earnest onto his back and started tying his front legs. Earnest squirmed a few inches up the ground. Coiling his hind legs in between him and Applejack, he kicked up into her stomach and shoved her off.

Just as Earnest got himself upright, Twilight appeared to his left and started shooting. Earnest banked left and shot forward. A barrage of magical bolts zipped over and around his body as he narrowly avoided each one. He ducked under another charge from Rainbow Dash and vaulted over Applejack when she tried to sideswipe him. Earnest hitched forward and raised a front hoof against Twilight, who blinked away at the last second.

Pinkie Pie seemed to pop into existence a couple feet in front of him with a happy sounding, “Hi there!” Earnest tried to shove her out of the way. But she weaved around his shove and ended up on his side. “You know it’s really hard to make friends-” Earnest threw a kick out to his side and Pinkie cartwheeled around him. “-when you’re being really mean-” He swung again but caught nothing as Pinkie reappeared in front of his other side. “-like this. Oh! Oh! Oh! I know what’ll make you happy!”

“Hold still!” Earnest shouted with another buck at the air.

“A party!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Let’s dance!” she beamed, picking Earnest up by his front legs.

Earnest narrowly ducked a flying chair that had been engulfed in a blue aura and shoved Pinkie away. “Release me!”

“Not a waltzer, eh? Maybe Samba is more your style!” Pinkie gave her hindquarters a small shake at the statement and then started dancing about as Earnest continued to try to get her out of his way. “Come on, Earnest! Dance that grumpiness away!” When Earnest raised a foreleg against her, she ducked down and spun around with an outstretched hind leg, tripping Earnet’s planted foreleg. He ducked when Pinkie spun around on her forelegs, swinging both of her hind legs around and threw himself forward. Pinkie rolled away from his headbutt into a flipping recovery.

Various objects in the room started flying at Earnest, making him play another dodging game with Rarity. His eyes narrowed and he walked towards her with an annoyed expression as he ducked or magically parried the projectiles. “Do I have your attention now?” Rarity shouted as she heaved another book from his shelf. Earnest wasn’t deterred. With a determined expression, Rarity grabbed all of the measuring implements and pencils off his desk. While Earnest was swatting them away, Rarity grabbed the tools hanging from his wall and had them whizzing around his head like a swarm of metallic hornets. He made several attempts at ducking away as he advanced but Rarity kept them on a strict axis around his head. Rarity broke the flow of her attack by uppercutting him with his desk cushion. With an angry grunt, Earnest stomped it back to the ground and was rewarded with his entire desk being overturned onto his head.

Earnest telekinetically yanked his desk away and used it to shield himself from Rarity’s onslaught. While he occupied himself with blocking the flying tools, Fluttershy made her way up to Earnest’s side. “You know, we really should stop this fighting. I don’t want anypony to get hurt.” She squeaked as a shovel flew over their heads but resumed a moment later. “My friend Stephen has already been injured a couple of times and he doesn’t really like fighting either-eep!” Fluttershy's speech and Rarity’s attacks were interrupted when the shaft of a hoe clapped against the top of Earnest’s head. The world froze as Earnest glowered and slowly cranked his neck around, following the shaft to Stephen’s mouth.

“Oh horseapples...” Stephen muttered as he dropped the hoe. Quick as lightning, Earnest hoisted Fluttershy in his hooves and chucked her at Rarity. She shrieked all the way through the air until Rainbow caught her. In the same movement, Earnest lunged at Stephen. With a harsh tackle and a heavy roll, Stephen found himself being hurled through the air. Thankfully, his landing came much sooner and softer than expected. Regaining his senses, he found Pinkie had caught him on her back. “Good catch, Pinkie.”

“My pleasure!” she replied happily. The fight had resumed on the other side of the room. Between Twilight’s blasts, Rarity throwing anything she could find, Applejack’s kicks and Rainbow buzzing around his head like a fly, Earnest had started backing up towards his balcony. Stephen watched the fight so intently that he forgot he was still laying on Pinkie’s back. “Ready to go back in there?” she asked.

“Oh...Not yet,” Stephen said as he climbed down from Pinkie. “I want to help but I’ve got to figure something out. He’s just too tough for me.”

Earnest blasted at Twilight, who reacted with her mana plow. Earnest’s bolt glanced upward and struck the ceiling, causing him to wince. But then Earnest sidestepped more blasts from Twilight and started shooting back angrily, causing the rest of the group to scatter for cover. “He should make up his mind if he wants to hurt his house or not,” said Pinkie.

“What was that?” Stephen asked.

“Well, he was a lot more magic happy at the pyramid because he wasn’t worried about breaking the pyramid but now that we’re here he’s not using magic nearly as much but it looked like he got angry when Twilight made him shoot his house so now he’s shooting at them a whole lot and he might hurt his house but why would he do that if he’s mad about hurting his house in the first place?”

While Pinkie ranted, Stephen reconsidered the way Earnest built his stronghold. The unicorn had referred to it as “this ramshackle hut where he lives.” But even as simple as this house was, it still rivaled a normal Earth cathedral. Stephen remembered the kingdom of Canterlot and the designs for Pandemonium. This was a pony who took extreme pride in his construction and engineering, even for what he considered to be the smallest projects. The thought of that work being destroyed must be too much for him.

But at the same time, Stephen remembered how he had lashed out when confronted the day before. Earnest was growing impatient. If he wasn’t always irrational, it was certainly something he developed. Pinkie was right. He could be provoked. Furthermore, the columns supporting the ceiling were spaced a little too perfectly. “I have an idea. I just need to get close.”

Without warning, Pinkie Pie scooted under Stephen’s legs and popped him onto her back again. “Hang on tight ol’ buddy ol’ pal!” Without waiting, she bolted forwards.

“Honestly, ladies,” Earnest shouted into his home. “I’m trying to be gentle here but I can’t have you ruining my life’s work for whatever conceited purpose you have!”

“Make a hole, everypony. I got this!” Stephen shouted as he and Pinkie charged forward. Pinkie’s right ear twitched and she shuffled left just as Earnest shot another blast at them. Then her left ear twitched and she dodged another blast to the right. “Get to his side,” Stephen whispered into her ear.

Pinkie shot right again as another blast went over her head. Then she lunged at Earnest head on. Stephen waited while they were in the air. He could see Earnest’s horn brighten so he lunged off Pinkie Pie. Pinkie dove to the left and Earnest turned his head to follow her. Stephen dropped right onto his crest and latched onto his neck with all four legs. Now all he had to do was strike until he had Earnest’s full attention. Not wanting to release Earnest’s neck, Stephen craned his head up and threw it down as hard as he could. The density of Earnest’s skull made him instantly regret that decision.

Earnest tried to run forward but tripped and fell over Pinkie, who had placed herself at his feet. Stephen took that as his cue to let go before he was thrown off again. He scrambled over to a support post and picked a spot in front of it. Stephen faked a disgusted cough while Earnest got to his feet. “How can someone who lives on a beach smell so bad?”

“Silence, you foal!” Earnest’s horn flared and Stephen rolled out of the way as a blast was thrown and broke against the support beam. That comment got to him, but this wasn’t the same telekinetic strength that opened the pyramid.

Stephen retreated to the next support beam and stood at the same spot in relation to it. “You probably wouldn’t be so angry if you had a girlfriend. But that must be difficult when you smell and your face looks like a big horse’s-Ah!” Stephen shrieked and barely managed to duck a blast that was fired much sooner than expected. Some debris chipped off the column. Stephen looked up at Earnest. The gray unicorn’s face was contorted with fury.

“Stand still and face the punishment for your insolence!”

Stephen wondered how he could get even deeper as he migrated to the next pole. There was only one left after this one. He’d have to get the right reaction soon. This time, Stephen hid behind the supporter and shouted, “I bet Celestia kicked you out because she got sick of you trying to pass your macaroni art as castle schematics!”

Earnest roared so loud that Stephen would have confused it for an actual dragon if he hadn’t known better. Stephen peeked out from behind his cover to see Earnest stomping a front leg on the ground. “I was her best student and friend!” he shouted. “I would travel the world ten times more if it meant serving her and Equestria!”

“Then maybe you should have listened instead of going off on your stupid little construction project.”

Earnest’s horn bathed the entire house in a green light. “I will not have my life’s work undermined by the likes of you!” Stephen heard him bellow just before he was launched from his cover with a deafening bang. Stephen glanced up to see a thick crack running through the support and Earnest had somehow gotten even angrier. “Curses!” Earnest continued to shout. “Now look at what you’ve made me do to my column!”

“You’re doing it to yourself, Earnest,” Stephen proclaimed as he scrambled to his feet. Earnest responded with another heavy magic bolt that singed Stephen’s tail before blowing a chunk out of the column behind Stephen. Turning to Twilight, he pointed to the pillar closest to the door and shouted, “Hit that column at the base as hard as you can!” Twilight’s head popped out from cover. She surveyed the room before nodding and charging up her horn. “Rainbow, I could use some help,” Stephen called out.

“I got it!” With that, she flew out of the balcony and out to sea as fast as she could.

Stephen’s jaw dropped and his eyes went wide before shouting, “Flying away is not helping!”

A loud crack split the air and the ground shook. It was followed by an enraged roar from Earnest. Twilight and Fluttershy appeared next to Stephen. “He tried to stop me from blasting the pillar and ended up doing it himself.”

A loud stone creaking came over all of them. Twilight, Stephen and Fluttershy looked back to see the rest of the group rush out from their cover just as the most recently blasted support broke from the ceiling and came crashing down, bringing pieces of the ceiling with it. Earnest caught them in his magic and was trying desperately to put it back together. All anger was gone now and replaced with panic.

“We need to keep him distracted,” said Stephen.

“You got it!” Applejack tipped her hat and rushed back towards Earnest. Stephen watched as she bucked Earnest in the side, almost making him drop the column. She stood in front of the other badly damaged support with a smug grin. Earnest tried to shoot her where he stood but she ducked away at the last second. The pole completely split from the base but Earnest caught that and held it as well. However, he lost his concentration for just a second, causing a piece of the first broken column and a slab of concrete to fall from the ceiling.

Stephen felt a bright smile come to his face. “Twilight, I need you to levitate those two fallen pieces into a see-saw right where I’m going to stand. Then make him drop the right column. Launch me on my signal.”

Twilight’s face contorted with confusion. “Are you crazy?”

“My head has never been clearer. But just in case,” he turned to Fluttershy. “Do you think you can catch me?”

“Oh...I don’t know,” Fluttershy said meekly.

“Well Rainbow Dash ditched us so I need a flier to watch my back for me.”

“Okay, I can do it. Just be careful, alright?”

Stephen nodded and ran over to the spot on the floor that he wanted. Twilight lifted the column piece and placed it on its side. Stephen moved out of the way as she set it down and then again as she placed the concrete slab over it. Stephen pointed to where on the wall he wanted the see-saw to point. Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity were moshing against Earnest, who was starting to sweat his concentration. But Stephen knew how to really get under his skin now.

He stood on his see-saw and called out, “Actually, I think Celestia dumped you because you’re weak. Twilight’s a fraction of your age and can hold this in her sleep!” The green auras dropped from the columns. The one on the left fell into the living space. The one on the right fell into the badly cracked column in front of it. The ponies scurried as two ear-shattering bangs shook Earnest’s house. Despite the noise, Earnest could still hear Stephen taunt. “You’ve been practicing for three hundred years and still can’t do it right.” Earned roared with infuriation and his horn glowed brighter than ever.

The world froze for a moment. It felt similar to when he blacked out against Damien, except this was calm and controlled. Stephen glanced up and could see the way the columns were falling into each other, just like he thought they would. He could see the path he was going to take through the air and the path he needed to move along once he landed.

Specific moments of his life flashed before his eyes; like how he loved playing with Marble Works as a kid. Or as a teenager when he figured out how to use the simple tools to create a zip-line with his friends as well as the best path to take along the trees. Or even more recently when he launched a paperclip at Damien’s face, solving puzzles in Portal 2 with a single glance, rediscovering his Marble Works and even now. Stephen simply understood the path across moving objects before him and where everything would be when he arrived. He knew he could do this better than he could do anything else and this is how he would help save Equestria. The slight tingle on his hind legs could only be his body signaling that it was time to move.

“Now, Twilight!”

A giant weight made out of magical energy appeared on the opposite end of Stephen’s see-saw and dropped down. Stephen was launched into the air a split second before Earnest’s blast laid waste to the see-saw where he had been standing. His eyes nearly popped from his head and his stomach lurched at being launched so suddenly. He didn’t even have time to scream before touching down on the falling pillar and taking off like a shot. The contents of his veins had become equal parts blood and adrenaline as he baited Earnest across the falling support beams of his house, praying that in his anger, he’d remain too irrational to shoot at where Stephen would be as opposed to where he was. Pieces of ceiling and buttresses were turned to smithereens as green balls of fire ripped through them. Stephen ran across the domino effect all the way to the final pillar, which he surfed for as far as it fell. When Earnest caught it in his levitation, Stephen jumped off the pillar and was caught by Fluttershy. Straining her wings, she made sure he touched down pleasantly.

The adrenaline wore off as quickly as it came. Stephen’s legs shook uncontrollably. His head went light, his stomach was in knots and his heart was beating so fast that it could only be described as painful. But Fluttershy held him up and the others did not take long to reach his sides as well. “It’s over, Earnest Stalwart!” Twilight called out.

On the other side of the room, Earnest gritted his teeth. His horn glowed like a beacon and half of the room and ceiling was enveloped in it’s aura. Even from where the group was, they could see him panting, sweating and silently crying.

Through ragged breaths, Stephen muttered, “Alright, Twilight...He can’t fight back anymore...Did you say you could suppress his magic?” Twilight nodded. “Now’s your chance.”

Just as Twilight was about to step forward, her ears swiveled back. She looked over her shoulder and prompted everyone else to do the same. There, they saw Rainbow Dash flying over the ocean and towards the cliffside at a frightening speed. More than that, a cone seemed to be forming around her body and she sounded much further away than she actually was. Then, about an eighth of a mile from the cliff, she pulled up at nearly ninety degrees. A nearly blinding rainbow, a deafening boom and an earthquake happened all at once. The remaining support posts in Earnest’s house cracked and buckled.

“Nevermind that, we gotta go!” Applejack shouted.

For a third time, Pinkie scooped up Stephen and zipped away. The group ran towards the door as fast as they could and burst through. Twilight grabbed Earnest in her magic and tried to pull him out as she left. But at the last second, he shot a beam at her and broke her concentration long enough for him to get free of her grasp. “Earnest, no!” she shouted and tried to turn back for him. But a large chunk of ceiling dropping inches from her nose made her turn tail and run. In breaking free of her grasp, Earnest had diverted his attention away from holding the house together. It was only for a second, but that was all it needed to collapse as if it were made of cards.

Outside, Shining Armor had found that there had been enchanted tiles just under the grass that were connected to the metal posts. Whenever they were stepped on, the posts knew where to aim their projectiles. He commanded the Pegasus soldiers to crush them with boulders while he magically uprooted the tiles and repurposed them as shurikens. He had just taken out the last of the posts when several loud, stony crashes came from inside the house.

Shining Armor rushed to the force field, but couldn’t see anything except an unfamiliar stallion struggling to stand inside his ruined house. He couldn’t wait anymore. Putting as much power as he could into his horn, he backed up and prepared to charge the force field. Just before he could, there was an earth-shaking explosion and his eyes were pulled up to a sight he hadn’t seen since his wedding day - The Sonic Rainboom.

The force field fell on it’s own a second later. Pinkie Pie was out first with a nearly unconscious Stephen on her back. Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack were close behind with Twilight bringing up the rear. “Get away get away get away get away!” was all that Shining Armor heard. A second later, there were several more loud crashes and dust was spewed everywhere as the house crumbled into debris.

Everyone took a moment to recover. The eerie silence that weighed on the island when the squad arrived had returned. Rainbow Dash landed and Shining Armor was the first to rise. “Is everyone alright?” the captain called out.

Wearily, Twilight shot to her hooves as fast as she could. “Earnest is still in there!”

Desire to help outweighed the group’s exhaustion and they all ran back through the gate. “What do you mean, ‘he’s still in there’?” Rainbow Dash shouted. “I thought the plan was to blow over the house so he couldn’t fight back if he wanted to hold it up.”

“It was!” Twilight cried as she started telekinetically pushing rubble aside. “But it came down too fast. I tried to drag him out but he wouldn’t let me.”

The ponies did their best in moving whatever they could, trying to dig out Earnest, hoping they could still help him. Even Stephen, who had spent everything he was with his last stunt, flopped off Pinkie’s back and was trying in vain to push some debris away. He wanted Earnest to be arrested and see a lot of jail time. He hadn’t yet done anything that was worth losing his life over. Victory wouldn’t be good if it was going to be like this. To top it off, Stephen had a sneaking suspicion that it had to be Earnest to break the Spirit Traveller spell from him so he could go home.

Twilight spotted a piece of stone that seemed to be trying to wiggle loose. Hope welled up within her as she magically gripped it and moved it aside. A surge of green energy burst through the hole it made and launched Twilight away as it cleared a small circle of debris around it. Earnest Stalwart lowered his force field and looked out to sea as he rose from the floor. He was covered in dust but looked largely unharmed.

Before anyone could say anything, he let out another draconic sounding roar and spun to face Stephen. “You!” he shouted with his horn lighting up again. Another force field formed around the gate and Stephen’s body took on a green aura. He flailed as he felt the force form around him but it was all in vain. Earnest dragged Stephen roughly through the debris and held him up to his face by the neck. “Look at what you’ve done!”

“Put him down right now!” Rainbow shouted with another charge. Earnest threw up a shield and she ran into it head on. Before she hit the ground, he grabbed her by the tail, spun her around and slammed her into a rock that used to be part of his wall. Stephen heard a pop and Rainbow screamed in pain. Now, even Fluttershy was preparing to charge.

Earnest spun to face them. “You’ve ruined my life’s work. One more step and I do to him what you did to my home!” The others simply froze.

“Twilight, there must be something you can do!” Rarity gasped.

“If I get into a tug-of-war, I could hurt Stephen.”

Fluttershy reached out but didn’t move forward. “Please just put him down. We didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“Really?” Earnest looked up at Stephen, who was still flailing. “Because this one had a spark of deliberation in his eyes as he surfed my pillars to their destruction.” He turned back towards the group as repetitive knocking came to the force field at the gate.

“Twilight! What’s going on in there?” Shining Armor’s voice called through.

A layer of overglow appeared on Earnest’s horn and another layer added itself to the shield. He glowered at Twilight. “Not a single step.” With that, he carried Stephen to the edge of the cliff and turned him towards the ocean. “Tell me what you see in the water,” he commanded with a point.

Stephen stopped struggling and forced himself to look where Earnest was pointing. It was the same area that he saw the giant gate made of monstrous bones the day before. He tried looking below the surface again, trying to find the gate. “I don’t see anything,” Stephen whimpered.

“Exactly!” Earnest barked and spun Stephen around to the rubble. “Look at what you’ve done!”

Stephen looked around. The monolith where he had been asked to turn the key was no longer there. On Earnest’s balcony, there were two giant statues and a marble pedestal. Pieces of the ceiling and ceramic roofing tiles lay where the Eye of Coeus once stood. Fragments of crystal were strewn about the ground in the immediate area. Earnest lifted Stephen a little higher and dropped him. Stephen grunted in pain when he hit the ground but before he could recover, he was picked up again.

“Without the Eye of Coeus, the gate can’t be opened.” Earnest dropped Stephen and picked him up again. He could hear the cries of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie from where he was. “Furthermore, I was trying to calculate a reversal spell because there was never one written. The spell would always wear off when the unicorn ran out of power. But your spell is attached to an infinite power supply. Now I won’t be able to find your home world to send you back even if I knew the reversal. You’ve ruined both of us!” Earnest dropped him and picked him up again. But this time, he dropped Stephen onto his feet. Holding him up telekinetically, he used a foreleg to dust Stephen off. Then he looked into his eyes with a smile. “However, I did promise to send you back and I am a pony of my word.”

“What do you mean?” Stephen stuttered. “You just said it’s impossible.”

“Starswirl was never able to test the limits of the connection,” his voice had returned to its normal demeanor and Stephen had never been more scared in his life. “I theorize that by destroying a spirit body, we can sever the link between the bodies and the spell will dissolve, sending you back from whence you came.”

“No…please…” Stephen pleaded.

Earnest magically hoisted him again. “You were an experiment for me, Stephen. Shall we find our conclusion?”

Stephen tried to beg again, but Earnest had tightened his grip around his neck. Just as he thought he was going to be choked to death, Earnest lowered him towards the ground, growled and jerked his horn to the sky.

“Stephen!” Pinkie cried out.

Twilight focused and tried to grab him out of the air. But her teleportation spell was interrupted by a green magic bolt rushing for her. She threw up her plow at the last possible moment and in that moment, lost sight of Stephen.

Rainbow jumped into the air and flapped but only one wing moved and she dropped. She looked back to the group and called out, “Fluttershy!”

“No no no no no no!” Fluttershy took to the air faster than she ever had before, dodging a blast as she dived over the edge of the cliff and furiously flapping around the side.

Stephen watched as the cliff side grew over him. His heart raced and each of his organs felt like they were trying to abandon ship. He felt himself flapping his front legs as if the action would summon wings.

His peripherals caught Fluttershy swooping around the edge of the cliff and diving towards him. Several armored Pegasus ponies were behind her, but Stephen knew they were too far off. Fluttershy was his only hope. She was getting closer. Her front legs were stretched out and her wings were a blur. Stephen reached out to her. He knew she would catch him. But he also knew she was running out of time to catch him.

The monsters of Tartarus were no longer on the verge of escape and nobody would ever be summoned from Earth again. That much, he knew for certain. He kept his promise to himself and now he only wanted to go home.

The group stared on in anticipation. A moment ago, Shining Armor commanded his Pegasi to fly over and find out what was going on. Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity hoped with everything they were and waited patiently. Any second now, Fluttershy and the soldiers would fly over the edge of the cliff with Stephen safely in tow. Then they would arrest Earnest - who stood like a statue at the edge of the cliff, silhouetted by the setting sun - and his punishment would be much worse than it would have been originally.

The silence was nearly unbearable. There was not even an ocean breeze, a crashing of waves or sound of seagulls to ease it. Nearly unbearable became completely unbearable as the silence was replaced with the sound of Fluttershy’s distant wailing.

Final Failure

Rarity and Pinkie Pie had broken down completely. Applejack did her best to comfort them but pulled her hat over her face while trying to hide her own sobs. Twilight was frozen with watering eyes and mouth agape. “How...how could you do that?” she choked out.

“I kept my promise to send him home,” Earnest snickered.

“That’s not how a Spirit Traveller spell works!” Twilight yelled back.

“Aaargh!” Rainbow shouted out as she charged Earnest on foot, her left wing flapping while the injured wing hugged against her side.

Earnest’s eyes bugged in surprise before focusing on Rainbow Dash. Overglow appeared on his horn as he prepared to shoot. But then his attention was stolen by his large force field turning black with a purple outline and Rainbow crossed his left cheek with her right front hoof. Earnest stumbled and recovered just in time to see his force field shatter with a loud crash. However, Rainbow didn’t relent and struck again with a headbutt. Holding his ground, he returned it and forced her head down. Relaxing slightly, he allowed her to shove him back before taking advantage of her forward momentum and sweeping out her front legs. Rainbow fell onto her side and Earnest pinned her to the ground.

“You are annoyingly persistent!” he bellowed.

Metal clanged against stone at Earnest’s ten o’clock and brought his attention towards a bronze-clad pegasus soldier who had touched down and was preparing to charge. Several more followed suit around the ruins of his home. A cacophony of clattering armor brought his attention forwards to see a platoon of guards charging him.

Rainbow Dash pivoted herself from under Earnest’s grip and shot her hind legs into his underbelly as hard as she could. Earnest wheezed as all the air left his lungs at once. Clutching himself, he fell forward with the armored horde still rushing towards him. Gritting his teeth, Earnest stood upright and ignited his horn. Shining Armor lunged from the front of the squad. With a flash of green, they were both gone.

Rainbow Dash shot back to her feet and started prancing in circles. “Where’d they go?” she shouted as her friends rushed to her side.

“Now what were you thinkin’ goin’ after him like that?” Applejack scolded. “Did ya’ll want to get hucked off the cliff too?”

“Rainbow, your wing!” Twilight called out. “Are you alright?”

“It won’t move, but I don’t think it’s broken.”

Meanwhile, Pinkie and Rarity had moved to the edge of the cliff and were looking down. Fluttershy could barely be seen curled up on a bluff at the bottom. She was crying, but didn’t look hurt. Pinkie started scanning the waters for Stephen when suddenly Rarity called out, “Look there!” and pointed to the beach where Shining Armor and Earnest Stalwart were staggering to their feet.

Earnest hit the sand rolling. “Not nearly as far as I wanted to go,” he muttered while getting himself upright. Sweat dropped off his face as he stood up and dragged his hooves across the beach.

“Hold it right there!” Shining Armor called out and galloped in front of him.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Earnest demanded.

“I am Prince Shining Armor, captain of Celestia’s royal guard. You are under arrest.”

Earnest’s face contorted in confusion. “No, who are you really?” Earnest asked uncertainly. His head lowered and his eyes darted back and forth as he started pacing. “You’re with those fillies.” He glanced up at Shining Armor. “Are you an imposter too?” He shook his head. “No, your armor is much too detailed. But that means…” Earnest stopped and straightened up, his eyes going wide.

Earnest darted off in a full gallop and tried to weave around Shining Armor. But the captain matched his footwork and checked him to the side. “You’ve robbed three museums, destroyed relics, assaulted my sister, her friends, dozens of royal guards and threw an innocent colt to his doom!” Shining glowered at Earnest. “So whether or not you come back to Canterlot in one piece is up to you. But you are coming back with us.”

This time, Earnest tried to barrel through Shining Armor but was stopped again. Butting heads, Earnest’s sweat almost caused him to slip off Shining’s helmet. But he held fast and stared into Shining’s eyes. “The work that I must now recover from scratch is far beyond anyone’s comprehension and I have been fighting the monsters of the wilderness for much longer than you’ve been alive. So for both yours and Equestria’s safety, I highly suggest you stand down!”

“That’s big talk coming from a burned-out unicorn,” Shining snapped back.

“Then see how ‘burned-out’ I really am!”

Earnest broke their lock and weaved his head around, smacking his crest into the bottom of Shining’s helmet and rattling his head inside. When Earnest tried to trip Shining’s foreleg, Shining broke it with a sprawl and then reared up. Shoving Earnest back with his hooves, he immediately followed up by launching a blast. Earnest ducked and kicked sand up at Shining, who shielded his eyes and gave Earnest an opportunity to attack. Shooting in as fast as he could, he weaved to Shining’s side and kicked his elbow with a hind leg before launching a front hoof up his jaw.

“We have to help him!” Twilight called out.

“What about Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash protested.

Twilight turned to the Pegasus soldiers. “Can a couple of you go down to check on her?”

The two soldiers closest to the edge of the cliff saluted. Shining Armor’s Lieutenant gave a small stomp and shouted, “We need the rest of you hitched up and ready to leave as soon as he’s captured. You two join them as soon as you get Fluttershy to shore.” With a nod, the two pegasi closest to the cliff jumped off, the others returned to the chariots and the rest of the ponies galloped towards the beach.

The soldiers landed behind Fluttershy on the bluff. “Are you alright, Miss Fluttershy?” one of them asked.

Fluttershy whimpered and took a few shallow breaths before choking out, “He…was falling...and flailing...and screaming...Then there was this wind...I flinched and when I opened my eyes...” There was more, but she couldn’t get it out before she dropped back into her forelegs to resume sobbing.

The soldiers looked at each other with wide-eyes before the other took off his helmet and dipped his head into the water. After shifting about for a moment, he came back up, looked at his comrade and despondently shook his head. “I’m…very sorry…” he said. “We’ll send some divers later and he’ll receive the highest honors. But for now, we need to get you to safety. Do you need help getting to shore?”

Fluttershy barely picked her head up to shake it. “I need to stay here in case I can find him.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s alright…Don’t worry about me…” She peeked towards the beach. “Shining Armor needs your help.”

The soldiers looked at each other uncertainly again. “You go help the captain. I’ll stay here in case she needs help,” said the first guard. The other nodded his head and took off towards the beach.

Shining Armor shielded himself from a buck and pushed Earnest back. After throwing another blast, which glanced off Earnest’s left shoulder, Shining moved in for a punch. Earnest came up on his hind legs to trap the punch with the crook of his hoof. With his other hoof, Earnest rattled Shining’s helmet again and pulled him into a headlock. Before Earnest could drag him to the ground, Shining freed himself by slipping out of his helmet and shot Earnest directly in the flank. The elderly unicorn winced but held his ground and prepared to make another attack.

Shining preemptively struck back by levitating Earnest a few feet off the ground and slamming him back into the sands on his side. Moving in with a binding spell at the ready, he positioned himself to cast it on all four of Earnest’s legs. Only for Earnest to pull Shining Armor off balance with a foreleg and turn him over by tripping his hind leg. When Shining slammed into the ground, Earnest wasted no time in standing over his opponent and chambering a stomp, which Shining narrowly dodged and dodged again when two more came. He attempted to shove Earnest off with a hoof while he charged a blast that would make Earnest think twice about attacking again. Instead, Earnest grabbed Shining’s hoof and pulled him across the sand. Shining took the opportunity to get back to his feet but realized it was another trap a moment too late when Earnest shot his hind legs into Shining’s underside and flipped the soldier over his shoulder. Shining Armor exhaled sharply at the point of impact and held his concentration to discharge the blast he’d been building. It wasn’t a direct hit but still got Earnest off him, tearing a section from his cargo vest and marking his skin.

Earnest grunted and stumbled. Steeling himself for Shining Armor’s next attack, he staggered in place in an attempt to keep his weight off his injured legs. Shining lunged with his head lowered and Earnest reared, ready to meet his tackle. At nearly the last possible moment, a mana plow formed in front of Shining’s face and threatened to bowl Earnest into the sand. At the last possible moment, Earnest ran up the point of the shield and jumped over Shining Armor. Landing behind him, Earnest gave a hard buck to Shining’s flank. Shining spun with the momentum and they locked into another headbutt.

Between exhaustion, injuries and Shining’s slight height advantage, Earnest was losing his leverage and widened his stance to compensate with stability. Earnest thought his heart was thumping in his ears at an alarming rate and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold off against the captain. Shining went wide-eyed and started backpedaling a split second before a thunderous crash prompted Earnest to turn around and come face-to-face with three gaping maws and six rows of spiky yellow teeth.

Cerberus roared and barked so loud that Earnest’s ears started ringing and he was blown back by the wind. Rolling twice, he recovered, spat out some sand and stood tall against the beast. “Down, boy!” he commanded.

Cerberus continued to bawl and advanced on Earnest, causing him to step back. Earnest looked about and spotted a giant tree branch that he had been keeping for this occasion. It took considerable effort to magically drag the stick through the sand.

“Do you want the stick?” Earnest called out playfully. Cerberus’ howls and barks continued to shake the beach. Earnest scrunched his face and narrowed his eyes. “I’ve been playing with you for decades. I’ll not have this treachery now of all times! Yield, you behemoth simpleton mutt!” Cerberus crouched and growled loudly, ready to pounce at any moment.

Earnest summoned all of his remaining power and ignited his horn. “I said-”

“Yield!”

A flash of light was accompanied by a deafening clap of thunder. Earnest stood rigid with wide-eyes and blackened spots on his coat. He twitched once and wheezed a puff of smoke before falling stiffly into the sand.

Princess Luna descended with a glowing horn and touched down next to Shining Armor. Princess Celestia glided over to Cerberus to scratch him behind an ear and praise him for being obedient. The squad of soldiers arrived on the scene with Twilight and her friends. Celestia sent Cerberus into his dog house before joining her sister and greeting the others. The soldiers surrounded Earnest, who was simply laying in the sand.

“Is everypony alright?” Celestia asked.

All eyes lowered and Twilight shook her head. “We lost Stephen.”

Steeling herself with a deep breath, Celestia lowered her head to Twilight’s and hugged the others with her wings. After holding it for a moment, she turned around and stepped forward. Two of the soldiers made a hole for her as she strode towards Earnest, who wiggled as if he was trying to get up again, but became petrified with fear when he saw her approaching, her face filled with a mixture of disappointment and anger.

When Celestia knelt in front of him, his eyes locked shut and his head turned away. Celestia reached out and pulled his face towards hers, making him look her in the eyes. He shook in her grasp. “You were such a good student,” she stated plainly.

Earnest began to stutter out, “My princess…”

Her voice turned sharp as she asked, “What made you think your plan was worth this cost?”

“I thought you’d see my way once presented with the finished product.”

“You thought I didn’t know what I wanted for my ponies?”

Earnest tried to look away again and was pulled right back. “I…I thought…”

Celestia’s voice raised ever so slightly. “Did you think I enjoyed losing my first apprentice, my friend?” Earnest winced and his eyes started watering. Celestia’s eyes lowered and she gently placed her hoof on the large black gemstone that was imbedded in Earnest’s chest. “Stephen told me about what Evalrog did for you. Is this any way to repay her sacrifice? Do you think she’d want to see you harming innocent ponies?”

Earnest shakily placed a hoof over his sister’s heart and locked his eyes shut. “I could have done better,” Earnest stuttered. “You deserve better. I could have given you what you deserve. I could have stayed by your side and...”

“Even to this day,” Celestia interrupted. “Equestria and I are grateful for Canterlot. But we don’t need to carve the land to make it’s inhabitants safe. My ponies have their families and friendships to make them strong.” She paused for a moment and stood up straight over him. “You’ve taken the time Evalrog gave you to gain power, which you’ve used to both create and destroy in excess. But when these ponies united in friendship, even without magic, they’ve overcome far more than you could have possibly done by yourself. I had hoped that your travels would make you see that.” Celestia stayed standing but lowered her head and voice towards Earnest. Finally, her voice softened and she said, “I was saddened when so many years passed and I didn’t see you again. But it looks like this is what it’s taken for you to see what’s truly important.”

Earnest hid his face and curled up in the sand. “I’m sorry I failed you.”

Celestia sighed and placed a hoof on his back for a moment. Then she turned and walked away. “Help him up and get him onto a carriage. We’ll discuss his punishment in Canterlot.”

Meanwhile...

HONK!!!

The startling noise preceded the sound of a siren that quickly faded away. Plummeting towards the water had been instantaneously replaced with stillness and an orangish-white world. Instead of wind buffeting his ears, it was now his own heartbeat as the adrenaline slowly subsided and his internals untied themselves. A long moment passed and Stephen took a deep breath. The air came into his nose and left through his mouth, confirming that he was alive.

I’m alive, he thought to himself. With another moment, the realization hit at full force and his thoughts cried out in triumph, I’m alive! Relief flooded his mind so rapidly that he chuckled to himself. He wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t. Wherever he was, it was a stiff, uncomfortable place that smelled of ammonia.

He willed his head to turn to the right, but it didn’t move so he settled for shifting his eyes about his surroundings. This place seemed to be white with an orange tint that slowly tapered into darker hues towards his left. It was the same early evening light that was over the islands during the battle. After making the connection, Stephen noticed that he was staring straight up at a drywall-tiled ceiling. He was back on Earth, but this wasn’t his bedroom. When and how did he get wherever he was now?

Where am I? he asked himself. With a grunt and a groan, he forced his head to the right. His joints creaked and cracked unpleasantly and then his eyes were burned with direct sunlight. Wincing, he closed his eyes and painfully threw his head to the left. Blinking out the spots, a small bedside table and several beeping and/or blinking medical machines came into focus. On the other side of the room, there was a door leading out into a busy, well-lit hallway - a hospital. Someone must have found him comatose and brought him here.

He tried to call for help, but he couldn’t shout at full volume yet. He’d never before been a hospital patient, but he knew there’d be a button somewhere that would flag down a nurse. However, moving was still unpleasant. It was almost like he’d spent the better part of a week laying limp in the same bed while receiving sustenance intravenously - probably because that’s what it was. But he knew he was alright now, so he decided to wait until someone came to check on him or until he could easily move again. Until then, Stephen took solace in the fact that it was over. Hoping that his Equestrian friends weren’t saddened or worried by the way he left, he mentally thanked them one more time.

Stephen was weary from battle and he had just come down from the shock of falling. The fight was over. He was home now and as soon as he’d regained his strength, he’d be ready to start rebuilding his life. With that, he welcomed the prospect of getting actual sleep for the first time in weeks and closed his eyes.

Suddenly he was very cold and wet. His eyes shot open and were met with murky darkness. Instinctually, he tried to breathe but clamped his mouth shut when it filled with water, some of it going down the wrong pipe and causing him to choke. He flailed vainly in the water as all the shock and adrenaline returned to his system with a vengeance and remained so for an inconceivable amount of time.

His body burned in the water and he was getting tired. Fear and confusion racked his brain. Hadn’t he just been on Earth? Was it a dream? Was this a dream? The world around him, whatever it was, was getting blurry and even darker than it was initially. His lungs were burning, his throat was contracting, his head was getting light and there was a strange pressure wrapping around his midsection.

Stephen’s eyes were stabbed with a bright light. He locked them shut as he landed on what felt like a rock. He tried to breathe but his throat was still contracting and he flailed desperately. Adding to the chaos was a strange weight getting pressed onto his face and a sudden burst of foreign air entering his lungs. Gagging, the weight was released from him and he rolled onto his stomach, where he coughed and wheezed while something soft yet solid was being rubbed across his back. Eventually, his coughing subsided and his breathing returned to normal. Slowly, Stephen opened his eyes and found a familiar large green pair that were wrought with worry looking back at him.

It wasn’t over. Even if the release of Tartarus was no longer a threat, the Spirit Traveller spell on Stephen was still active and took him back to a few feet over the Equestrian waters when he foolishly allowed himself to fall asleep on Earth. Fluttershy had just saved him from drowning.

Stephen lost himself completely and sobbed into the bluff. “No!” he cried out. “I was home! Why can’t this just be over?”

Fluttershy had no idea what to do. When she had heard the splash and looked up to see four dark red legs flailing and sinking into the water, all she had to do was pull him out with her guard’s help. When he didn’t breathe, all she had to do was give him a breath. Helping a pony in need like that was easy. Comforting a pony when they were beaten, shocked and traumatized like this was beyond her. So she continued to rub his back and whisper, “It’s okay, you’re safe now.” Although, she wasn’t certain if he was hearing her. Perhaps he just needed a few minutes to vent and let the shock recede.

Slowly and reluctantly, Fluttershy placed a foreleg over his back. He sprang up and threw his front legs around her, burying his face in her chest. She squeaked in surprise as the sudden motion caught her off guard. She pulled back slightly and almost flapped away. But as Stephen quickly settled into stuttering breaths, she let him have the hug.

Looking up, she saw Shining Armor was still fighting with Earnest. In the far distance, she could barely make out a large group of ponies rushing towards the beach. Fluttershy wanted this to be over almost as much as Stephen. Turning her attention back towards him, he had finally calmed down and was laying flat on their bluff.

“Are you okay, sir?” asked the guard that was with Fluttershy.

“No, I’m not,” he said shakily. After a couple stuttered breaths, he downheartedly asked, “What did I miss?”

Just as Fluttershy was about to answer, a loud thump emanated from the beach and was abruptly followed by a deafening bark. Stephen came up on his haunches and turned with Fluttershy towards the beach, where Cerberus was bearing down on Earnest. As the monster barked and growled, a shimmering chariot appeared over a distant hilltop. The princesses could be made out as they leapt from the chariot and dived towards the beach. Luna’s voice cried out, “Yield!” and a bolt of lightning from her horn struck a point right in front of Cerberus.

After a moment of stillness, Stephen wiped his eyes. “I think they got him,” he said happily.

“Are you ready to go over there?” Fluttershy asked. “They’ll be very happy to see you.”

“Are you sure it’s safe with that giant dog there?”

“Cerberus is really just a big sweetheart who’s here to watch the gate. We don’t have to worry.”

“I want to go over there. But I don’t want to risk going back in the water.”

“Allow me,” said the soldier.

“Are you sure you can do it?” Stephen asked. The guard nodded in response and held out a hoof. Stephen reluctantly took it and allowed himself to be picked up by the soldier.

“After you, Miss Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy nodded and started flapping her wings. Once airborne, she headed for the beach with her guard carrying Stephen close behind. They flew for about fifty yards and when they were close to the shore, Fluttershy called out, “Everypony, come quick!” as loud as she could.

Hearing Fluttershy’s call, the rest of her friends rushed towards the water and were more than halfway there when they landed. Stephen and Fluttershy rested a little ways from the water’s edge and were practically tackled into a group hug. There was cheering, laughing and even a few happy tears as they embraced each other. Stephen was almost overwhelmed with questions of how he made it and if he was alright. Through it all, Stephen watched with a smile as Shining Armor directed a couple of soldiers towards a chariot with a morose-looking Earnest Stalwart in tow. Suddenly, a hoof poked one of his hind legs.

“Well, would ya look at that!” Applejack proclaimed.

“What?” Stephen asked worriedly, cranking his neck right to look back at Applejack’s hoof while the others gave him some space.

Applejack removed her hoof and revealed a patch of fur on his flank that had changed colors. “You got yourself a cutie mark!”

Stephen’s eyes widened at a silver semi-circle with a angled wedge hanging from it. Small black lines on the shape marked incremental angles - a protractor with tiny stars surrounding it. “Every pony gets one when they realize what their special talent is," Stephen remembered Fluttershy’s words from a couple weeks ago. He had just a little while ago realized how well he understood motion, physics and geometry by seeing the situations where they could be applied.

His friends swarmed him in an embrace yet again. This time with praise and congratulations. The hug, the crumbled cathedral, the nixed threat of doomsday, an insane unicorn in custody and a picture on his thigh to remind him of what he could do best. All of these things sunk into Stephen and gave him an indescribable sense of satisfaction beyond anything he’d ever felt. Closing his eyes, he soaked in as much of it as he could, momentarily forgetting about the troubles awaiting him at home. Right now, the only downside to this was that his smile couldn’t get any bigger as it was already stretched to the point of starting to hurt.

Lessons Learned

“...Because what does it matter what the old folks say when we’re all busy dancing to-and-fro?”

Pinkie and Stephen skipped down hallway of Canterlot castle as she belted her song. Unable to follow along with the words, Stephen instead decided to set the tempo with an acapella beat. But holding the tempo had become difficult as Pinkie found ways to fit more and more words into each measure.

Things were alright, all things considered. When they touched down, everyone was examined and treated for injuries. Rainbow Dash had her dislocated wing reset. She was happy to get a sling but rather displeased with the order to not fly for two weeks that came with it. Applejack had a scrape on her face from one of Earnest’s punches. Twilight had a bruise and a spot of singed fur from one of his magic bolts. Rarity had complained once or twice about chipped hooves but was as good as new after a pedicure. Pinkie Pie had a tender spot on her head from bumping into Rarity during the fight and Fluttershy had only suffered minor emotional scarring. Despite their armor, most of the guards had taken some heavy bruising from the turrets. Those who fell into the trap door suffered various sprains and ultimately minor though nonetheless painful back injuries. Stephen had several bruises on his back, flanks and ribs, which made deep breaths and walking uncomfortable. He also knew that it’d be a while before he could handle a good roller coaster again. But it wasn’t the worst beating he had ever taken. Twilight’s diagnostic spells still held that record.

Almost everyone had decided to take a mini-vacation to recuperate after the ordeal, Stephen included. He could have let the next siren wake him up back on Earth, but that would only mean dealing with whatever was waiting for him there during the day and coming back to Equestria when he’d fall asleep. Instead, he opted to stay in Equestria where he could bounce between resting and mingling with the group until the spell was fully broken.

However, some others had gotten right back to work. Princess Celestia and Twilight had started reverse-engineering the Spirit Traveler spell almost as soon as they had touched down. Except for meals, not much had been seen of either of them since. Shining Armor and his squad had departed the morning after returning to Canterlot.

Now it was about lunch time on the second day after Earnest’s capture and Pinkie was gathering her friends for the meal. Stephen had been the easiest to find since he’d taken a liking to napping under the garden’s large cherry tree. He was a little slow getting up, but was a bit perkier once she got him to start skipping with her.

They rounded a corner and nearly bumped into Princess Celestia and Twilight. “Hey there!” Pinkie chimed, abruptly stopping her song. “We were just looking for you, Twilight. Are you ready to find the others and chow down?”

Twilight gave a relieved sigh. “You bet.” Turning up to Celestia, she said, “I’ll bring everyone to Canterlot Tower right afterwards.”

“Then Luna and I will wait for you there,” Celestia said happily. “But may I borrow Stephen for a little while?”

Twilight looked to Stephen and he gave her a small nod. “You go on ahead. I’ll catch up.”

“We’ll be at the castle gates when you’re ready,” said Twilight. Pinkie and Twilight continued down the way they were headed.

Celestia walked forward and Stephen followed down the way he had come. “How have you been feeling?” she asked after a few steps.

“I’ve been feeling alright, actually. Yourself?”

“I’m doing well, thank you. I might take a long weekend after today though,” Celestia chuckled. “Remind me to have Twilight do the same. She’s such a hard worker and I don’t want her to overdo it.”

“Will do,” said Stephen. “Have you two made any progress?”

“We’re done actually. Are you excited?”

“I’m not certain. I’ve got a real tough situation waiting for me and I’m not sure what will happen. But I can’t stay here forever either.”

“What’s your situation right now?”

Stephen sighed and faked a chuckle. “Alone, unemployed and comatose in a hospital. If they take my body off life support, I probably wouldn’t get much of a warning.” Stephen shuddered at the thought.

Celestia’s eyes widened momentarily. “Then we’d better see you off soon,” she said as she rounded a corner into a new hallway. Unlike the others in the castle, this wing was narrow and lacked decorations. At the very end was a wooden door with two guards posted in front. “But first, I need you to help me make a decision,” Celestia said plainly.

Stephen’s stomach sank. According to Twilight’s stories, Celestia had been ruling Equestria for over a millenium and had the wisdom to prove it. What advice could Stephen possibly offer someone like this? After pondering for a minute, he boldly asked, “What kind of decision?”

Celestia stopped at the door. With a bow, the guards opened it and the princess led Stephen down torchlit stairs. “Though this situation could have ended much worse than it did, I can’t bring myself to punish someone for something that didn’t happen.”

Stephen, who had been looking up at Celestia, looked down to consider the implications of what she had just said. It was then that he became aware of a ragged-looking Earnest sitting behind a barred door about ten feet in front of him and nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Greetings,” Earnest said lowly.

“His actions have affected you many times deeper than anyone else who’s encountered him. What do you believe his punishment should be?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Stephen asked, his voice nearly cracking with bewilderment. “I can’t just make a decision like that!” He looked back up to Celestia. “Don’t you have some sort of judiciary system that has set punishments for this type of thing?”

“Civil conflicts between ponies are either compromised at their townhouse or in my court. We’ve never had anything quite like this.”

Stephen sat down and looked away from Earnest. “Not like I’ve done this before either.”

“I’m prepared for your worst,” Earnest spoke up.

Stephen looked Earnest over. He had risen on all fours and was standing at attention. Gone was his cargo vest and armored horseshoes, making the large black gemstone fused into his chest much more apparent. His front left ankle, shoulders and left flank had been bandaged. Stephen assumed that the black crystal ring, which was coiled oddly around his horn, was a shackle for his magic.

After giving some thought, Stephen approached the cell. Earnest closed his eyes and resigned himself to whatever was coming. “Where I come from, you’d probably be sitting in this cell for the rest of your life.”

“Is that what you wish?”

“It’s tempting. You’re obsessive and out of your mind. So much so that I can’t tell if you really thought you could break the spell by killing me or if it was just an excuse to throw me off a cliff.” Earnest hung his head low at that. “That on top of everything else you did to me and all those other ponies. How are you going to fix this?” Stephen shouted.

“Perhaps you should ask yourself?” Earnest muttered.

Stephen straightened up and raised his eyebrows. Not quite certain of what he heard, he asked, “What?”

“Ask yourself how I can fix what I’ve done to you and you will find your answer. Whatever it is, I’ll do it four-fold.”

Stephen bucked the air. “But that’s the problem! You can’t give me my job back or make Selena love me again.” Stephen paused for a moment. “Darn it!” he shouted. Calming himself, he turned back to Celestia. “Your highness, I can’t do this. Normally I’d get some kind of settlement from him and he’d be paying me back everything I lost. But that’s not possible here, is it?” He sat back down. “I can’t just punish someone myself like that anyway. There’s judges and lawyers and all sorts of people who are trained to do these types of things. I can’t bring myself to do that to someone else.”

“So what do you want?” Celestia asked.

Stephen frustratedly clopped both front hooves against his forehead and dragged them down his face. After a moment, his ears perked up. “The least I can do is make sure everyone here is compensated. Anything that anypony lost, make sure he makes up for it. Hospital bills, building repairs, lost labor, administrative costs, everything.”

“How do you suppose he does so?” Celestia asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe he should just do construction and maintenance until he’s paid it all back? Until then, he’d be a prisoner. Even then, I want to make absolutely sure he’s not going to do it again. So keep him on probation until you’re certain he’s learned his lesson. If he tries any of it again, lock him up for good.”

“Is that your decision then?” Celestia asked.

Stephen sighed and looked back at Earnest. Doing his best to pick up his heavy heart, he gave a definite, “Yes.”

“You’re much too kind to me, Stephen. Princess Celestia, I promise I won’t fail you again.”

Celestia nodded. “I hope so, Earnest.” With that, Celestia turned to walk away.

“If I may be so bold, Princess,” Earnest called out. Celestia glanced over her shoulder in response. “Much like me, Evalrog didn’t want to rest until everypony was safe and happy. I’m sorry it’s taken so much for me to realize what was really important and that we had already done everything we needed to. It might be time to put her heart to rest but her help would all be for naught if I cannot redeem myself. I’m sure she’d like it as much as I would if we could be friends again once I’ve repaid my debts.” He maintained eye contact with a confident posture, but his voice was nervous. “I don’t want her gift to go to waste and...I’ve missed having friends.”

Celestia sighed at Earnest. “We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.”

Earnest hung his head and sat back down. “As you wish, your majesty.”

Stephen and Celestia walked out of the dungeon in silence. Once the doors closed behind them and they were back in the castle, Stephen looked up to Celestia and asked, “Do you think he’ll be alright?”

“He has a long way to go and it will take quite some time. But as long as he has Evalrog’s heart, he’ll have plenty of it. So it’s not hopeless. You did the right thing.”

“That’s good to know, Princess. Thank you.”

“I should thank you just as much,” Celestia said before pointing ahead. “Now, head straight down this hallway and through the palace doors. Your friends are probably waiting for you.”

Stephen nodded and jogged ahead. “I’ll see you in a little while then,” he called back. After about a hundred yards, he exited the castle and saw all of his friends waiting for him across the yard. Grinning, he galloped forwards. In a few seconds, he was close and greeted them with a wave. Rainbow Dash was still wearing a sling and a small scuff was still visible on Applejack’s cheek. Other than that, it was like nothing had ever happened. “Come on, everypony. This is my last meal in Equestria. Let’s make it count!” Stephen cheered as he approached. With an assortment of laughs and cheers, they trotted towards the city.

After two hours, a buffet and a carrot cake with a frosting decoration of Stephen’s cutie mark, everyone found themselves back at Canterlot Tower. The Globe of Atlas and the Stone of Sisyphus stood in the hallways next to a freshly reconstructed Eye of Coeus. Celestia and Luna had joined them and were waiting patiently while Twilight went back and forth from the inscriptions on the Eye to several notebooks in front of her. Meanwhile, everyone else was trying to calm Stephen’s nerves.

“Come on, what have you got to worry about?” Rainbow pleaded with a shove that was probably meant to be reassuring. “It’s not like you haven’t made this trip several times already.”

Stephen had been doing his best to hide his nerves. But his cover had been blown by the constant shifting of his ears and tapping of his front hooves. “And it’s not at all illogical to be nervous about being experimented on after every other experiment I’ve been a part of has gone just swimmingly, right?”

“Oh would you two drop the sarcasm please?” Rarity complained.

“She started it!” Stephen and Rainbow called out in unison.

“I don’t rightly care who started it anymore,” Applejack interjected.

“Hey!” Stephen glowered at Rainbow. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me. You’re acting like a scared little filly!” Rainbow chuckled jokingly. “Where’s that stallion from a couple days ago that made Earnest blow up his own house?”

The energy Luna gave him three days ago had worn off and left him too tired to think of a witty response. So instead, he turned to Twilight. “I swear on all that’s sacred, Twilight, if you turn me into rubber again...Well, I’m not sure what I’ll do but you won’t enjoy it!” Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Luna roll her eyes and Celestia stifle a laugh. But it was probably a better idea to not make any quips at the princesses, so he let it go.

It was then that Stephen felt Fluttershy’s soft touch on his back. “There, there, Stephen. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Sure the first Spirit Traveller spell may have missed its mark and dropped you in front of a pack of Timberwolves. But I know Twilight is being extra careful to not let that happen again. And this isn’t even the same type of magic that turned you into rubber...or made your front legs stop working...or made your coat extra thick and itchy.”

Stephen felt his face contorting with bemusement as he desperately wished for something simple like a warp gate run by a computer with calculated coordinates. Why couldn’t Equestria be normal like every space-based science fiction movie he’d seen? “I appreciate the effort, Fluttershy. But being reminded of those things isn’t helping.”

“Aww, I miss fluffy Stephen!” Pinkie chimed in, wrapping him into a hug and rustling his mane. “You were so cute and funny the way you flopped around.”

Stephen groaned and hung his head. “Rarity, make it stop!” he called out desperately.

“Alright, girls. He’s nervous so let’s not make it worse.”

“Not to worry,” Twilight called from a few feet away. “I think we’re ready!”

Steeling himself, Stephen stood as straight as possible. “Alright, what do I do?” he asked, a small crack in his voice contradicting his confident posture.

“Stand clear, everypony,” Twilight requested. With that, her friends split and gave Stephen several feet of room on each side.

Twilight’s horn lit up. Stephen felt his eyes go as wide as saucers and every muscle in his body locked into place. He flinched when a beam of purple light shot from her horn and hit him in the chest, but he didn’t feel anything. Slowly opening his eyes and examining his surroundings, everything seemed normal. Until he looked down and saw his entire body encased in Twilight’s purple glow. “I think it worked,” he heard her say.

“Wait, what?” Stephen asked.

“Now all you have to do is think about where you want to go and touch the Eye’s pupil,” said Twilight.

With a nod, Stephen walked up to the tall statues. Positioning himself at the Eye of Coeus’ base, he rose to his hind legs and stretched forward, thinking about his body on Earth the whole time. Pushing up a little further, he managed to place his hoof on the spherical purple gemstone at the center of the crystal eye. Stephen’s glow rapidly left his body through his right hoof and illuminated the gem. Stephen backed up just in time to see beams of light shoot from the Eye and project an image of Earth over everyone’s head.

A variety of astounded responses echoed through the room as the image zoomed in, focusing on America and zipping right down onto the north west until Stephen recognized his hometown from a bird’s eye view. Then it zoomed in even further until they were looking at the outside of a hospital building and focused on a second-story window.

“Stephen, that place looks so awesome!” Rainbow gawked from behind him.

Celestia’s horn took on a bright golden glow. “Do you have anything you’d like to say before you go?”

Stephen nodded and turned towards the group. “There aren’t enough words to properly express how grateful I am to have met all of you. I’ve never met anyone so kind, generous and willing to help.” Unable to contain himself, he rushed forward and embraced the group one-by-one, each returning his affection. “Not only that; I’ve learned how to be brave and how I can do anything with the right mindset. But I’ve also learned my limits and when it’s time to stand up for myself. You’ve even helped me realize what my special talent is. Despite everything that’s happened to me, I don’t think I would have ever gotten a chance to learn that if it hadn’t. So even though I’m leaving to face an even greater challenge, I’m grateful to have made friends in all of you because now I know how I can do it.”

Rainbow Dash was the last to accept a hug, but gave him a light push as soon as he was done talking. “Alright, now quit being so sappy,” she said as softly as she could while saving face. “You’re going to cramp my bad wing.”

Stephen backed up with a smirk on his face. “And now that you know how to find me, don’t hesitate to visit any time. I could certainly use someone to back up my story so they don’t think I’m crazy.”

“I’m glad we could help,” Celestia said. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Stephen said confidently.

“Go get ‘em, Stephen!” Applejack cried out.

“Yeah, you got this!” Rainbow punctuated herself with a stomp.

“Don’t forget to write!” Pinkie Pie shouted.

“Do be careful when you get back!” Rarity requested.

“You rock!” Stephen barely heard Fluttershy’s cheer.

“Good luck,” said Twilight.

With that, Stephen bowed his head and felt the touch of Celestia’s horn on the top of his mane. When he opened his eyes, his body was fading to transparency. He didn’t feel anything, but the sight made all of his nerves return with a vengeance. Then, he started growing. Slowly, his dark red front legs and hooves morphed into ebony arms and hands. Looking down, his legs returned to their normal form. Standing up, he noticed that he was now only a few inches shorter than Celestia. This must have been the second level of the spell that Twilight and Earnest had mentioned - bringing the target to the caster in the form of an apparition. He looked down on his friends and took in their astounded reactions to his true form. Then, the world around him started fading to black, just as it had done when he voluntarily left Earth.

“Goodbye and thank you,” he said just before the darkness overcame him.

A moment later, the hospital room began coming into focus around him. Feeling returned to his body soon after and he blinked away some fuzziness in his eyes. It was really over this time. He knew it. For a moment, he tried to come to terms with the fact that he may never see Twilight and her friends again and most likely never even be able to share his story. However, these thoughts were distracted when he noticed a strange weight on his chest.

Looking down, his eyes were graced with the sight of long black hair that was spilling around on his body. A small, dark brown arm was stretched across his stomach and a graceful hand was gripping his covers on the other side.

“Well, would you look at that,” a high-pitched masculine voice said from the other side of the room. Startled, Stephen looked up and saw his friend, Jake. He was a short but very muscular man with pale skin and long blonde dreadlocks tied behind his head. Dedicating so much time to work had put a few months in between the last time they’d seen each other. But here he was, seemingly returning to the room with two bags of fast food in each hand.

Selena shot up from his chest to look at Jake, who smirked and pointed at Stephen. Slowly, she turned around. When Stephen’s eyes reunited with hers, her smile grew too big for her own face and her eyes welled up almost instantly. “Hey there,” she choked out. Carefully straightening herself up, she scooted closer to his head to run a soft hand down his cheek and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “How are you feeling?” she asked softly.

“Alright, all things considered,” Stephen strained, his voice raspy with rust.

“I’ll go get a nurse to make sure you’re all good,” said Jake, setting down the food. “You two kiss and make up now.”

As soon as he was gone, Selena planted a cautious yet passionate kiss on his lips and gently hugged him. “I was so scared. I missed you.” Her voice stuttered, teetering on the edge of sobbing. “I’m sorry I left you.”

Stephen slowly raised his right arm and stroked Selena’s hair, a gesture which required most of his strength. Placing his hand under her chin, he pushed up and prompted her to look at him. “It’s alright. I understand,” Stephen rasped, never breaking eye contact.

“You’re not mad?”

“Knowing you weren’t willing to help me was a little upsetting. But when I get out of his bed, I’ll be a lot stronger for it.”

“I doubt that,” Selena chuckled weakly.

“Stronger in a different way. Anyway, what I’m saying is that I needed to go down like this and I wouldn’t have done so if you believed my story.” Stephen paused to make sure he was looking at her as seriously as possible. “But don’t you ever leave me like that again. I can’t handle it.” He softened his face with a smile and Selena responded with another kiss.

“I’d say he’s doing alright,” Jake’s voice came from the other end of the room. Stephen and Selena looked up to see him standing there with a nurse by his side.

Much to the surprise of the doctors he’d encounter for the rest of the day, Stephen was in good health. Although nobody could figure out the origins behind the fresh bruises on his ribs. After a little walking, his muscles woke up, leaving him only slightly weak. But they assured him his strength would return with a little exercise. They wanted to keep him for a day of observation, but they expected to release him late the next day.

It had turned out that while he was in Equestria, his family had come to see him and when he woke up, they had been preparing to move Stephen across state lines to a hospital closer to them. They were notified as soon as he woke up and after a confirmation from Stephen himself, they resolved to visit again in a few days.

Later that evening, Selena had gone off to work and Jake stayed behind to keep him company. Bringing back some cheeseburgers for dinner, he sat at the foot of Stephen’s bed and waited for him to dig into a chicken sandwich and salad that the hospital had given him. “So...pony-man. Have any fun dreams while you were out?”

Stephen palmed his face. “So she told you about that, huh?”

“She told me everything, bro. So what kind of pony were you? Shetland? Clydesdale? Thoroughbred?”

“I was red and had an afro mane. Does that mean anything?”

Jake barely contained his mirth as he spoke, “How the heck would I know?”

They shared a laugh before Stephen took a bite from his sandwich. After swallowing, he looked up at Jake, “So what exactly happened while I was gone?”

“Dude, it was the weirdest thing. At least for me. I haven’t heard from any of you in months and then all of a sudden your girl shows up at my door and she’s absolutely losing her mind, right?”

“Yeah, that’s the state she was in the last time I saw her.”

“So she starts spouting off about how your insomnia has you thinking you’re a horse that suddenly likes heavy metal. I have no idea what’s going on so I calm her down and tell her to take a day to herself. We go back the day after because she wanted help getting her games in case you’re still punching walls or something. Your door’s unlocked so we try to check on you and as far as I could tell, you were dead. Scared the crud out of everyone, dude.”

“Thanks for helping Selena,” said Stephen before taking another bite.

“Not a problem, Steve. But you’re lucky I’m not a different type of guy. Otherwise I would have been all over that rebound. She’s way out of your league, bro.”

Stephen swallowed so he could laugh sarcastically. “You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are, Jake.”

Jake sniggered and took a bite from his burger. When he finished chewing, he looked up and asked, “So tomorrow we gonna get you out of here and pick up like nothing happened?”

“Not really. I flipped out at work so I’m not sure if I’m still employed.”

“You flipped out? Dang, I would have paid money to see that.”

“Yeah, it stinks.”

“So what now?”

“I don’t know. I’ve got to think about it. My boss said he might take me back once I got better but I’m not sure I’d want to go back there anyway.”

“Well let me know if you if you need any help, Steve and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks, Jake. I’ll give you a call in a couple days. We’ll hang out and I’ll let you know what’s up.”

“Sounds good, dude.”

“But for now, I’m just looking forward to some actual sleep.”

“You’ve been asleep for a week,” Jake said with a laugh. “You think you’d be rested up by now.”

“You’d think so. But there’s something about being in a coma, it’s not nearly as relaxing as you might think. Especially when your dreams are so weird.”

“Yeah, tell me about those dreams. They sound hilarious.”

A little bit of satisfaction came to Stephen at that. Even though he wouldn’t be able to tell the full truth or treat it like it actually happened, it felt good to tell other people about the amazing friends he made and the whacky adventure he’d been on the last couple of weeks. With that, Stephen told the story, starting from when he had landed in the Everfree Forest and and summarized until he got to the battle at the Galloping Ghost islands. Jake laughed at almost everything that Stephen would forever remember as painful. But he had always been into slapstick humor and he didn’t think it was a real story anyway, so it could be forgiven.

His story was interrupted only once when Stephen slipped and referred to the group as ‘everypony’, causing Jake to burst into raucous laughter. “Hey, give me a break,” Stephen defended himself. “I’ve been in that state of mind for a week and for some reason, that’s how they referred to each other.”

“That doesn’t make it any less ridiculous, bro!” Jake spat in between peals. After a moment, his laughter subsided and Stephen continued.

When it was over, Jake bid Stephen goodnight and left with a promise of visiting again the next day. After he was gone, Stephen got up and went for a shower. Once the temperature was just right, he stepped in and enjoyed the hot water gently massaging his stiff back.

While Stephen was soaping his legs, his fingers noticed something odd. A large spot on the outside of his thigh felt like scar tissue. Curious, he shut off the water and stepped into the bathroom’s better lighting. Examining himself, he found a half circle with a small wedge hanging from one side and several star-shaped marks surrounding it. There were tiny incremental lines across the half circle. This was a protractor. It was his cutie mark.

Stephen sat down on the toilet and processed for a moment. An odd but nonetheless huge sense of satisfaction came with the realization. This was his battle scar, a forget-me-not from his Equestrian friends, a testament to his true talent and further proof (at least to himself) of what he’d been through. Drying off and getting dressed, Stephen returned to his hospital bed. For a moment, he held a victorious fist into the air before letting his arm flop down to his side. Then, for the first time in nearly two weeks, Stephen fell asleep.

Midnight Run

A cool breeze rolled through the night and caused Stephen to shudder. He must have forgotten to close his bedroom window. But now that he thought about it, he didn’t remember opening it to begin with. When another breeze rolled through, he realized he wasn’t wearing covers and everything came into perspective. Selena, his long time girlfriend, must have come to visit him late at night. It was a bad habit of hers to invite herself over whenever she was bored. The time of day or what Stephen was doing never stopped her. Even if it was late at night and he was sleeping. Stephen smiled at his girlfriend’s antics. No matter, let her open his window and have his covers. He needed to get back to sleep as soon as possible. There was a myriad of responsibilities awaiting him for the next day and being well rested was part of preparation for them.

Stephen employed his best method of falling asleep first. The better he could visualize something in his head, the quicker he’d drift off. Another breeze rolled through the room as Stephen pictured himself waking the next morning and shaving the stubble from his chin and sideburns. Maybe Selena would be kind enough to make breakfast for him. His thoughts continued and he felt himself start to nod off. Just before he lost consciousness, a gust of wind rustled the trees and chilled Stephen to his bone.

That was the last straw. That blasted window must be closed and he must reclaim his blankets from Selena. In an ideal scenario, he’ll be able to complete his objectives without waking Selena. Preparing to move from his bed, he noticed that something else was different. Where he laid was cold, moist and had a familiar texture. Grass? His eyes shot open only to show him that he was enveloped in darkness and he turned sharply in hopes of finding Selena.

He was alone, outside and lying on the grass. Where was he? How did he get out here? He scrambled to get up but something else was wrong. He couldn’t feel his hands or feet and his equilibrium was off. If only he could see. He might be able to make heads or tails of this. On cue, a thick cloud drifted away from a full moon. The landscape was flooded with a soft blue luminance.

Stephen felt his heart make multiple attempts to leap from his chest. It only stayed in because his breathing was keeping pace, causing his chest to expand just as his heart made more escape attempts. There was too much information. There were too many questions. The sensation of a rubber band snapping occurred inside Stephen’s head and after a moment of mental silence, a single thought played on loop.

I’m not in my house. I’m not in my yard. I’m in the woods. I don’t know where. I don’t know why.

This went on for a moment while he got himself to sit upright but still felt strange - as if he was standing on his fists and feet while not being able to feel either of them. A wolf’s cry echoed through the wood. Every little moment of that horrible sound crept through his spine and all the way to the back of his head. Glancing over his shoulder, he found two small orbs of yellow light floating in the distance. Then he noticed how they were suspiciously close together and low to the ground. A split second after this information processed, the broken record of questions playing in his head was replaced with a single word; RUN.

Stephen picked the first direction he could think of; forward from where he was facing and galloped on all fours as fast as they would carry him. He tried to get up and run properly but he just couldn’t do it. So he focused on moving as fast as possible, by whichever means necessary and praying that this was the way out of wherever he was.

The forest around him became was a blur of trunks, branches, leaves and vines. There was no end in sight. Sight only went a few feet in front of him. Feet stamping the ground, leaves rustling and twigs snapping were all sounds that resounded from not only Stephen’s stride, but from everywhere around him as well. Barking and another howl called Stephen’s attention to his left. The forest had wicked, glowing, yellow eyes. They were following him and they were not far behind. Fear took over and threw Stephen’s body into autopilot, somehow making him go faster than what had previously been as fast as possible. It wasn’t fast enough. He needed to run faster still. He couldn’t but that didn’t stop him from trying with every stride.

Stephen’s exhales became cries for help. His cries were swallowed by the thick woods and the sounds of wood thumping against wood, cracking twigs, shuffling leaves, pounding feet, barking getting louder and louder and howls coming from every direction. Not daring to glance over his shoulder again, he sobbed fearfully and continued to barrel though the forest at speeds he didn’t think anyone was capable of.

Iron clanged against iron in the distance. Stephen had no idea what was causing the commotion. He only knew it was dead ahead. “Help! Help! Someone please help me!” Stephen sobbed out.

The clanging responded by getting louder and more rambunctious. The wolves started to whimper. Some of the howls and barking stopped. But he knew he was still being pursued. Stephen kept his eyes forward and continued to cry out. A light appeared through the trees. It was close but still way too far away. The clanging was getting louder with each of his strides. He was saved if he could get to it. The wolves were starting to fall back. Though he couldn’t stop himself from shouting, there was hope yet.

There was a figure running back and forth across the lights. “Run!” he heard a soft female voice shout.

“Help me please!” Stephen retorted. The wolves howled in the distance. The barking had almost completely stopped. There were no noises other than Stephen’s fearful sobs and the clanging of iron. Stephen cleared the last tree at the edge of the woods and kept running. There was a large cottage about twenty yards from the edge of the forest. Stephen rushed to the door and slammed his body into it. “Help me please! Wolves are chasing me! Open up! I’m begging you! I don’t know where I am! Please!”

The iron clanging stopped. Stephen was under the light but he knew he was still being pursued. Now he had made the biggest mistake of his life - he had stopped moving. His heart and lungs were going too fast. Lactic acid was burning everything in his body. His head was light and he was out of breath. Though he was at the source of the clanging and under the light he had seen, no one was opening the door. He was going to be devoured here on their doorstep and he couldn’t move. He could feel a presence closing in on him. So he collapsed and cried out in terror.

“Please hurry…if you don’t mind,” the demure voice spoke. Stephen stopped crying when he heard it. “We have to hurry inside but you’re in the way of the door.” Without thinking, Stephen rolled out of the way of the door. His vision had gone blurry but when he heard the door open, he rushed inside and collapsed on the floor. Relief came when he heard the door slam shut. Now he could permit himself to catch his breath and regain his senses.

“Oh my goodness…I hope you’re okay…Timberwolves are quite scary…Why were you out in the forest?”

Stephen was finally starting to catch his breath as he opened his eyes and allowed his vision to focus. The cottage he had taken refuge in was wide and mostly open but still very well put together. He immediately noticed a small round dinner table with stools around it. Small pictures and shelves of flowers were set up along the walls. A single couch sat against the opposite wall, adjacent to a wooden staircase, with end tables on either side. To the left was a chimney with some impressive cobblestone work and a wood-burning stove. Then Stephen looked up. A yellow pony with a long pink mane had set herself in front of him. It was staring into Stephen with a look of concern. Stephen had no idea what was going on. Nothing was helped when it opened its mouth and, “Are you alright?” came out in the soft voice that he had been heard before.

Stephen stared for a long time and tried to make sense of the situation. He remembered going to bed – but that’s it. Somehow he got to the wilderness. Not only did wolves chase him, but also they were timberwolves. Stephen could only assume they were somehow worse. So he ran to the first sign of civilization he saw, a cottage just outside the wilderness. Now, before him, was a small and yellow horse that could talk. He had nothing to go on except a thought that ice cream and Animal Planet do not mix well before bed. While this thought process went through his head, the pony sunk lower and lower, seemingly trying to hide behind her pink mane. The situation was getting awkward beyond justification as an onslaught of the usual questions someone might ask in this situation poured into his head. Stephen asked the first one that he could hear clearly in his own mind.

“Where am I?”

“Oh…um…this is my cottage,” her response was almost too quiet to hear.

That didn’t help. Next question. “Where is this cottage?”

“Ponyville,” she said even more quiet.

That didn’t help either. “Where is Ponyville?” Stephen asked.

“Um…Equestria…”

This wasn’t going anywhere fast. “Where is Equestria?”

“I’m sorry,” the pony said. “Please don’t be mad. I don’t know how to answer that. It’s our land where we live.” She shuttered and shrank in her place even more. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Why was she apologizing? “It’s okay,” said Stephen. He almost asked ‘how did I get here?’ but he knew she wouldn’t know the answer to that. So he tried to ask ‘who are you?’ but somehow managed to say, “And you’re a talking horse?” The pony perked up momentarily. Her green eyes gave a look that combined disgust and confusion before shrinking back behind her mane.

It took a few moments for her to respond. “Um…So are you?” Her statement sounded unsure as if it was half question. Her right front hoof pointed to Stephen’s left. Stephen turned to see a dresser set against the wall with a mirror on top of it. Stephen exerted some effort to get back on all fours. When he did, he noticed another pony come into view in the mirror. This one had a dark red coat and a short but thick and curly mane running from the top of the pony’s head to the bottom of his neck. The eyes were large, round and blue. There was a short, yet very puffy tail perturbing from its rump. It was slightly taller than the yellow pony but not as round at the barrel.

Confusion mounted on top of confusion. Experimentation was in order. Stephen squinted at the mirror. The red pony squinted back. Stephen turned his head to the left. So did the pony in the mirror. Stephen raised his right hand to wave at the pony. The pony mirrored Stephen’s movements before they both lost balance and fell over. The evidence was stunning but Stephen required a second opinion. So he looked down at himself. His body was round, covered in dark red fur and bore hooves.

“I give up. I’m dreaming,” said Stephen. He got back up and tried to walk away only to fall back over, harshly bumping his lower jaw on the cottage's hardwood floor.

“But then…how am I here?” the yellow pony asked.

“You saved me from those wolves. Whatever’s going on here I should thank you. Do you have a name?” Finally he asked his question properly. Stephen leaned closer preemptively, knowing the answer was going to border on inaudible.

“It’s…Fluttershy,” she responded with a pause.

“Fluttershy? Did I hear you right?” Stephen asked. Fluttershy merely took a step back and nodded her head. “Thanks again, Fluttershy, for saving me. But it’s time for me to wake up. I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.”

“But…but…but…”

Stephen ignored her. “Okay,” he said to himself. “Wake up!” He waited. Nothing happened. “Wake up!” He said a bit louder.

Stephen barely heard, “You’ll wake the animals,” from his right side.

“Great, I can’t wake up.”

“Oh…I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy.

“It’s okay,” said Stephen.

“You should sit down,” said Fluttershy.

Stephen didn’t fully hear her. “What?” he asked.

Fluttershy backed up again. “Oh…I mean…if you don’t mind that is. You seemed to be pretty out of breath when you got here.”

“Oh, thank you. That would be great actually,” said Stephen. He made his way over to the couch.

“Please relax and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.” Fluttershy left the room. Stephen could do nothing but ponder what was going on around him. Now that he had a closer look at the room, there seemed to be a lot of accommodations for various animals. He saw small beds, birdcages and perches everywhere. There was a hole in the bottom moldings of one of the walls that looked like a cartoon’s mouse-hole. Several small staircases lead to tiny wooden houses around the room.

Fluttershy came back into the room a couple minutes later balancing a platter and two glasses of water on her back. “I hope water is okay for now,” her soft voice spoke.

“That’s great actually,” said Stephen. “That run took it out of me. What were those things anyway?”

As Fluttershy set a glass in front of Stephen, he realized that she had wings sprouting from her back. This only added onto the questions, but he’d have to ask them later. “Those were timberwolves. They’re very scary. The only way to scare them off is to make a lot of loud noises.”

“How did you know to do that?” Stephen asked. He poked and prodded the glass of water with his hoof and tried to figure out how to grip it. While Fluttershy answered, he gave up, grabbed it in his teeth and chugged it down.

“My friend, Applejack told me about it. She has to do it with her Granny every year to keep them off her farm.”

“I see,” said Stephen after setting the empty glass back on the table. Some water had inevitably spilled around his mouth. He used his foreleg to wipe it off. “Sorry about that. I’m not used to drinking that way.”

“Oh…it’s alright.”

“So why did you help me?” Stephen asked.

Fluttershy waited a moment before responding. “I woke up when I heard howling. I was scared but then I heard somepony screaming and I knew they’d need help. Leaving them alone out there just wouldn’t have been kind.”

“Thank you very much,” Stephen repeated his gratitude a third time.

“Oh…There’s no need to thank me…but um…If you don’t mind my asking; why were you out in the Everfree Forest? It’s dangerous out there.”

“Really, I don’t know,” said Stephen. “All I remember is going to bed and then I woke up out there.”

“Oh…I see,” Fluttershy shrugged.

An awkward silence came over the room. Stephen suddenly realized something. “Jeeze, I’m sorry! I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Stephen.” Out of habit, he held out a hoof. Fluttershy touched her right hoof to his and they shook.

“It’s nice to meet you, Stephen.”

“Same here, Fluttershy,” Stephen wasn’t sure what to do next. He knew he was dreaming and not about anywhere he was familiar with. He couldn’t wake himself up. So there was nothing left to do but play along. “Now how about you tell me about yourself?”

“Oh…there really isn’t much…what do you want to know?”

Though this started out as a nightmare, it was turning out to be the most interesting dream Stephen ever had. Fluttershy was always on guard and trying to hide herself. Stephen guessed she either thought he was going to hurt her or had some kind of social phobia. Perhaps even both? She was soft-spoken and very quiet. So he had to make sure to listen intently in order to hear what she was saying. It took him a few tries before he could figure out how to ask questions that would entail specific answers. The whole time, he tried to joke with her to keep the mood light so she wouldn’t be scared.

They mostly talked about Fluttershy’s love for animals. After some prodding, Stephen got her to tell him all about the various animals she took care of. Stephen found it fascinating. When that topic was drained, she asked him about himself. He told her the basics. He told her about Selena and his job that he hated. There wasn’t much else to talk about. Throughout the conversation, Fluttershy offered to check on Stephen to make sure he wasn’t harmed or if he needed anything to eat or drink.

Eventually, Fluttershy got too sleepy to stay awake on her own. She offered Stephen her couch for the night. “If you wouldn’t mind, I can show you around town in the morning. Perhaps we can help you find your way home,” She mumbled as her wings carried her up the stairs.

So those wings do work. Stephen thought to himself. He wasn’t sure how to respond to her offer. So he simply thanked her again as the last of her long, pink tail disappeared into the second floor. Stephen was quite tired himself. He curled up on Fluttershy’s couch. With his eyes closed, he started to think about all the things he had to do in the morning.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Stephen’s eyes shot open again. He was back in his bedroom. His covers were on. Selena was not here. That was the second biggest disappointment. The biggest disappointment was that he did not feel even a moment’s rested from when he tried to go to sleep the night before.

Another thing that was odd was how he remembered the dream. He'd normally forget them as soon as the alarm went off but this one was sticking in his mind like glue. Maybe it would just take a few minutes to forget? Looking down, he found his hands complete with five stubby fingers covered in dark skin. Running those fingers atop his head, he felt his short, thick and curly afro growing from his scalp as usual. Everything was back to normal. “That was the weirdest dream ever!” was the first thing he said to himself. Groggily, he shoved his covers off and started his day.

THREE HOURS LATER…

Fluttershy came down the stairs of her cottage. She looked down to her couch to see that it was empty. She sighed disappointment and thought back on the previous night. She was certain she didn’t dream the interaction.

“Oh Fluttershy, you’re so insensitive!” she squeaked to herself. “You probably said something that hurt his feelings.” With another sigh, Fluttershy folded her wings and walked down the stairs to start her day.

Artifacts of Legend

Stephen’s leftover momentum and failed attempt at reaching out to Rainbow Dash left him falling upside-down from Pinkie Pie’s second-story window. His stomach and heart jumped into his throat as gravity took him down. A second later, he made contact with something that was too soft to be the ground. His eyes clenched shut as he was sent back into the air. He was only airborne for a fraction of the previous time before hitting a much harder surface and rolling at least once.

Falling from a second-story window wasn’t as painful as he thought it would be. However, it was possible that the rush of adrenaline was shielding him from some of the immediate pain. If that were the case, he’d feel it in full once it wore off and he was not looking forward to that. Certain he was on the ground now, he immediately tried to get to his feet. But a sick feeling in his stomach and four legs quaking nervously prevented him from doing so.

“Stephen, are you alright?” Twilight’s voice called out to him.

“Oh my gosh!” Pinkie’s voice chimed in. “I’m so sorry!”

“Is he alright?” Rainbow shouted.

“Pinkie, what happened?” Twilight asked worriedly.

“I bumped him and he slipped on some punch and then BOOM he went right through the window.”

Stephen felt a pair of front legs wrap over his body. “Stephen please wake up,” Fluttershy’s voice pleaded.

Stephen tried to say, ‘I’m okay,’ but between his pounding heart and unwinding stomach, he couldn’t get his voice to cooperate and only a painful groan escaped.

“Speak to us, Stephen!” Rainbow begged. “Are you hurt?”

Stephen took a deep breath and got a hold of himself enough to open his eyes. It took a while for them to focus in the dark but eventually he was able to make out four ponies in the moonlight. There were three easily recognizable silhouettes of Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. The saddlebag-wearing unicorn with a glowing purple horn must have been Twilight. A second deep breath calmed Stephen’s nerves enough to force out, “I’m alright…I think.”

Twilight sighed in relief. “That’s good,” she said before looking back and sending a beam of purple light to a glowing mattress placed under the window. The mattress vanished into thin air and she brought her attention back to Stephen.

Stephen finally got himself onto his stomach but the fact that his legs were still quaking and his stomach was still trying to settle down continued to keep him from standing up. Rainbow Dash hovered down, held up his head with her hooves and peered into his eyes. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Hold still and look at me,” Rainbow ordered. Stephen never broke eye contact as Rainbow moved her head up, down and to the sides. She gave an approving nod before asking, “Do you think you can stand?”

“I can try,” Stephen said. His stomach was almost settled but his legs were still quaking slightly. “What are you doing here, Twilight?” He asked, trying to get his mind off his nerves.

“I came to find you,” said Twilight. “I might know how the Spirit Traveler spell works. But just as I was about to knock on the door, you flew through the window.”

Stephen was almost up but as soon as he put his left hind ankle on the ground, a sharp pain shot through it. He yelped and lost his balance. With a surprised gasp, Pinkie zipped to his side to keep him from falling.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“My ankle is messed up,” Stephen said through gritted teeth.

“Which one?” Twilight asked.

“Back-left.”

Twilight trotted around Stephen to get to his hind left leg. With a hop, Pinkie moved out of her way but kept supporting him with one hoof on his shoulder. She had an apologetic look in her eyes and a compassionate smile.

“This one?” Twilight asked, lightly poking the ankle.

Stephen cringed and recoiled as a sharp pain cut through his leg like scissors. “Yes, that one.”

Pinkie threw her front legs around Stephen. “I’m so so so so so so so so so sorry!” guilt filled her voice as she clasped him to her chest. “Will a hug make it better?”

“It’s alright, Pinkie,” said Stephen as he carefully sat himself down on the ground with Pinkie continuing to hold onto him.

“No it’s not!” she frantically retorted. “This was supposed to be your best night ever but I pushed you and you fell which must have been super scary and now you’re hurt and you must think I’m a terrible friend because it’s all my fault!” Stephen couldn’t see what Pinkie was doing but it felt like she was trying to illustrate what she was saying without releasing him from her embrace.

“I seriously doubt you had any way of predicting this,” said Stephen.

Pinkie slouched against Stephen’s shoulders. “My Pinkie sense told me something scary was going to happen. I should have been more careful,” she sighed.

Stephen quickly decided against trying to figure out what Pinkie sense was or how it worked. He just assumed she was referring to the 'pinchy knee' she mentioned a few minutes ago and moved on. “You didn’t do it on purpose and you couldn’t have prevented it,” he reassured her.

Pinkie responded by slightly tightening her grip. “Is the hug working?”

Stephen wasn’t sure if he should be honest or try to alleviate the guilt she was feeling. He settled on, “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Pinkie Pie released him and gave the same apologetic smile she had a moment ago.

Twilight’s horn lit up and Stephen’s hurt ankle was encased in the same glow. His skin turned into an X-ray photograph of the bone. A moment later, Twilight’s horn stopped glowing and Stephen’s skin returned to its normal opacity. “I can’t see anything wrong but we’d better get him to Ponyville Hospital to be sure,” she said.

“Got it!” Rainbow Dash declared, rapidly flapping her wings several times and taking off like a scrambled fighter jet.

Rainbow Dash returned about fifteen minutes later with two scrub-wearing ponies pulling a white carriage with a red cross painted on it. Even though Stephen felt like he could have gotten into it on his own, the nurses insisted on helping him up on account of his limp. One went into the carriage and came out with a wheelchair. With as little use of the hurt leg as possible, Stephen eased himself into the wheelchair and the nurses pushed him into the carriage. Pinkie Pie and Twilight climbed in after them. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy opted to fly ahead and meet them at the hospital as the nurses strapped the carriage to their backs.

It took a little under ten minutes for the ponies to run the carriage to the small hospital building. Once there, the scrub-wearing ponies rolled him out of the carriage, down the hall and into a vacant room, where he was helped onto the hospital bed. A few minutes later, a white pony with a light pink mane and a white hat entered the room. After introducing herself as Nurse Redheart, she gave Stephen a quick check-up. All things considered, he appeared to be in good shape.

“It doesn’t look like you’re badly injured,” she said with a smile. “I’ll send in a doctor to find out exactly what’s wrong and we’ll make sure you feel better.” With that, Nurse Redheart left the room and silence fell as the group awaited the doctor’s arrival. On top of waiting for the doctor to enter, Stephen was also waiting for Pinkie to say whatever was quite obviously plaguing her mind.

“I hope you’re not mad at me,” Pinkie broke the silence with a down tone.

“Did you push me out of the window on purpose?” Stephen asked.

“No,” said Pinkie.

“Then I don’t need to be mad at you. I wish you had been a little more careful but all I can do now is hope I’m not actually hurt.”

At that moment, a caramel-colored unicorn with a dark brown mane, glasses and a lab coat came into the room. A clipboard floated up in front of his head for a moment before lowering it to speak. “Evening, Stephen. I’m Doctor Stable. I hear you’ve got a sore ankle. Mind if I take a look?”

“Sure, Doc,” he droned unenthusiastically. “Just be careful, please. I’m a little tender.”

A light blue aura appeared around both Doctor Stable’s horn and Stephen’s injured ankle. The highlighted area faded into transparency as if his skin had been turned into cellophane. This must have been similar to what Twilight had done to him that night at the library, or earlier tonight before they came to the hospital. Except instead of Stephen’s ankle looking like an X-ray photograph, his bones were clear and in color. Stephen would have found it interesting if the fact that he was looking into his own body wasn’t so off-putting.

Doctor Stable blinked hard and Stephen’s muscles came into view as well. His eyes narrowed at Stephen’s leg as he studied it for a moment. Blinking hard a second time made Stephen’s veins, arteries and flow of blood become visible. After observing this for a moment, Stable’s horn stopped glowing and the dark red fur on Stephen’s leg returned to visibility. Stable gently placed a hoof on the injured ankle. Looking up to Stephen, he said, “Let me know when you feel pain,” and gently moved Stephen’s leg towards his rear.

A jolt of pain shot up Stephen’s leg. “That hurts, right there.”

“On a scale of one to ten; how bad?”

“I don’t know. Five, maybe six?”

Stable gently set his leg back down. “I’ve got good news,” he said.

“Really?” Pinkie bounced up with a smile on her face. “What is it?”

“It’s not broken, just sprained and a little swollen. I’ll have a nurse wrap it for you then we can wheel you out of here. Keep it on ice for a couple days and try to stay off it without a brace. You’ll be back to normal within a week.” With that, Doctor Stable left the room. A few minutes later, Nurse Redheart returned to wrap up Stephen’s ankle. As soon as that was set, they checked Stephen out of the hospital.

The group exited the hospital with Rainbow Dash pushing Stephen in a wheelchair. Pinkie Pie skipped by Stephen’s right side with a lollipop in her mouth. Fluttershy walked by Pinkie and Twilight was on Stephen’s left. “What are we going to do now?” Stephen asked.

“We should find a place you can relax for the rest of the night,” said Twilight.

“He can stay with me if he needs somewhere,” Fluttershy quietly suggested.

“I like that idea,” said Stephen after remembering how quiet and peaceful Fluttershy’s house was in comparison to everywhere else he’d been. The group turned and started walking west. Rainbow Dash, who was pushing the wheelchair, turned just a little too hard and caused Stephen to bump his bad ankle. It stung, but just enough to be noticed. He looked down at his ankle, which was wrapped up tight in bandages and then wrapped again to hold an ice pack against his leg. “Well, this stinks,” he groaned out. “I’d better not wake up with this sprain.”

“That reminds me!” said Twilight. “I came to find you because I think I figured out how your Spirit Traveler spell works.”

“That’s good, I guess.”

“Actually, this is bad news.”

“Oh great,” Stephen groaned again. “What is it?”

“The highest form of a spirit traveller spell was to manifest a body for the spirit. That’s how you have a body here. But you have to be careful because your bodies between here and there are connected.”

“So you’re saying that’s why I woke up with bruises after I broke the library’s floor?” Stephen asked skeptically.

“Exactly,” Twilight continued. “Because you haven’t been sleeping while you’re here at night, it might also explain why you haven’t been feeling rested when you wake up in your world.”

“That’s just great,” said Stephen.

“But at first it didn’t make sense that you’d be able to have a body here in Equestria. Even though the higher levels of the spell were written, they’re impossible for ponies to do.”

“So then how am I here?” Stephen asked.

Twilight’s horn lit up into a reading light and a book floated from her saddlebag. “Magical Amplifiers,” Twilight said after showing Stephen the title, Artifacts of Legend.

“What?”

“They’re artifacts that were forged by ancient unicorns so they could amplify their magic and learn spells that would be impossible under normal circumstances.”

“But you said that a Spirit Traveller spell could only work if I’m willing to make the journey. Nothing against you girls, but if I’m actually here that means I’ve actually been awake for five days. I can’t have that. My girlfriend is getting worried and it’s making work even harder for me than it already is. I don’t want to be here.”

The book opened and several pages fluttered by Stephen’s face. It eventually stopped on a statue of a pony pushing a large, dark orange crystal ball up what appeared to be a mountain. “This is the Stone of Sisyphus. Historians think it was believed to greatly amplify the strength of any spell. Its magic might be strong enough to bypass mutual consent and cover the distance between our world and yours.”

“Then wouldn’t I be here all the time instead of just when I’m asleep?”

“I have theories but ultimately, I don’t know. That’s not all though. Whoever cast this spell on you would have needed a way to search out and make visual contact with your world.”

“So he’d need something that could see across space and time or dimensions?” he snipped sarcastically, knowing this was only going to get more ridiculous as time went on.

“Exactly!” Twilight flipped a few more pages in the book. “The only one listed here that could do something like that is the Eye of Coeus.” Stephen looked at the book. Among the text was a picture of a large, dark purple sphere making the pupil in a crystal carved into the shape of an eye. The eye sat inside a pony-sized crystal triangle with hieroglyphics of some kind carved into it. The whole structure sat atop a marble pedestal. “It’s described in the book as a great giver of knowledge; allowing the user to find anything he seeks if it is in existence.”

As ludicrous as this had gotten, Stephen knew it was still far from over. “Anything else?” he asked unenthusiastically.

“Yes, actually,” Twilight continued. “In order for the spell to stick to you the way it has, the magic has to be able to carry on for an extended period of time.” She flipped a couple more pages to show Stephen a picture of a statue depicting a large, exhausted-looking pegasus stallion was bent down under the weight of the giant blue gemstone sphere that he supported on his wings. “The Globe of Atlas is said to be able to hold any spell in effect forever.”

“And you’re certain these things actually exist?” Stephen asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh they exist,” said Twilight. “A lot of the things in this book can be seen in museums across Equestria. Most ponies believe their powers are myth and legend but my friends and I know better, don’t we?” Stephen looked up and around. Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were all nodding their heads.

“How exactly?” he asked out of curiosity.

Twilight flipped a few more pages until the book reached a page depicting a question mark inside of a twelve-pointed star and surrounded by five orbs of various colors. “These are the Elements of Harmony. My friends and I have used them before.”

The confident look in her eyes told Stephen that Twilight was certain what she was saying was true. But Stephen had been past skeptical since Twilight started explaining her book and though the confirmation of her friends was certainly something to consider, it was not yet enough to convince him. “Duly noted,” he said. “But it’s not to worry. I’ve got it all taken care of back home. Within a couple of weeks I’m going to stop having these nonsensical dreams and go back to sleeping like a normal person.”

“There’s still more things you need to know about your situation.”

“There is?” Stephen said, getting irritated. “What else could there possibly be? You’ve thrown everything but the kitchen sink at me tonight! Or is that a magical amplifier that keeps me in this world too?”

“Please don’t shout,” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“Yeah, come on, Stephen!” said Rainbow Dash. “We’re trying to help you out here.”

“Stephen,” Twilight continued. “All three of those artifacts would be needed to summon you and keep you here. One of them was stolen from Cloudsdale’s Museum last week. It’s just like I thought back when you and I did research together. Someone is calling you here and whatever they’re doing it for, it’s got to be something big. Otherwise they wouldn’t have gone through so much trouble.”

“Me?” Stephen quipped. “Someone is calling me?” his voice started to rise.

Pinkie chimed in. “Maybe someone really wanted to make a new friend.”

Stephen ignored Pinkie’s ridiculous suggestion. “Why in the name of all things sacred would someone call me? Do you know who I am, Twilight?”

Twilight paused to think about it. After a moment, she put on a fake smile and said, “No?”

“I’m nobody! That’s who I am!” Stephen shouted into the night. “I’m a bottom-of-the-food-chain customer service representative for a construction company specializing in residential renovations. I have an associates degree in business from my local community college and a house in the suburbs that I’ll be paying off until I’m fifty-years-old!”

Stephen’s wheelchair stopped moving and Rainbow Dash appeared in front of his face. Hovering at his eye level, her eyes narrowed at him. “Hey! Keep your cool!” she commanded. “You’re scaring Fluttershy.”

Stephen stopped and looked to his right, where Fluttershy had been walking. She wasn’t there so he cranked his neck back further to see her just barely within the light of Twilight’s glowing horn. She was standing still and hiding her face behind her mane. “Please don’t be mad at us,” she said quietly.

Stephen covered his face with a foreleg. “I did it again, didn’t I?” he said to himself. He took a deep breath to settle himself before continuing. “I’m not mad at any of you,” he said calmly. “The stress of all this is starting to get to me. I’m sorry, Fluttershy.” After a moment, she walked back over to Stephen’s side and they continued on their way to her house. “Anyway,” Stephen continued. “What I’m trying to get at here is that there is no way that anyone in their right mind would call someone like me to do anything if they know who I am. I’m not anyone special and I don’t even have any special talents.”

“Everypony has a special talent, silly,” Pinkie interjected.

“Look, Pinkie, if I had any kind of talent, I’m pretty sure I would have figured it out by now.”

“Regardless of why or why not someone would call you, Stephen,” Twilight spoke up again. “The fact of the matter is that you’re here, in the flesh, with a spirit body that’s connected to your real body…wherever it is. I came over to Pinkie’s to warn you of that because you’ve already gotten hurt once. You being here is a big risk for you and I don’t want to see anypony get hurt.”

Stephen was silent for a moment as he tried to collect his thoughts. “I’ll humor you for a moment,” he said. “If I wake up with a sprain, I’ll take you seriously.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Twilight. “Then we’ll try to find out who’s doing this to you and why.”

“How do we do that?” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “There’s got to be a million unicorns in Equestria. How do we find which one took the artifacts?”

“What if we found out who has access to the other artifacts?” Fluttershy suggested.

“That’s a great idea, Fluttershy,” said Twilight. “I’ve seen the Eye of Coeus at the Canterlot Archaeology Museum several times before I met all of you. We should start there.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow cheered. “And maybe then we can even find the jerk who robbed the Cloudsdale Museum.”

“Oh! So we’re going on another adventure?” Pinkie beamed, hopping up and down. “I’ll start packing! When do we leave?”

“For Stephen’s sake, we should probably figure this out as soon as possible,” said Twilight. “We’ll leave as soon as everypony is ready tomorrow.”

“But Twilight,” said Fluttershy. “What about Stephen? He’s not in Equestria during the day.”

“You’re right,” Twilight thought for a moment. “I got it. One of us can stay behind and wait for him then take an overnight train.”

“That sounds just lovely,” Stephen said sarcastically. “Look, it’s obvious I’m a disaster magnet in this world. Plus if you girls need to travel, I’d either get left behind while you travel during the day or I’d be holding you back while you wait for me to fall asleep. Wouldn’t it be better if I stayed behind?”

“I guess you’re right,” said Twilight. “I’ll have Spike come by Fluttershy’s tomorrow evening and take you to the library when you appear. You can wait there until we come back with a solution.”

“Don’t worry, Stephen,” said Pinkie as she patted Stephen’s head. “We’ll get this worked out and get you home safe and sound.”

They pulled up to the door of Fluttershy’s cottage. Rainbow Dash dropped down and let out a loud yawn. “I’m thinking it’s about time I head home. I’m bushed.” She started doing some stretches on the ground.

“Have a good night, Rainbow Dash,” said Fluttershy.

“Will do and I’ll see you all tomorrow. Have a good night, everypony.” She turned her attention to Stephen. “And try to not get in any more accidents.”

“I think the only night I haven’t had an accident was here with Fluttershy,” said Stephen. “I should be fine.” Rainbow Dash chuckled in response before taking a few running steps and flying off. It didn’t take long for her to get out of their sight in the dark night.

“I think I’ll head home too,” said Twilight. “Have a good night,”

“Bye, Twilight!” Pinkie called out as Fluttershy opened her door.

“Are you going home too, Pinkie Pie?” Fluttershy asked.

“If it’s okay with you, Fluttershy, I’d like to stay and help you take care of Stephen,” said Pinkie.

“I don’t mind at all,” said Fluttershy.

“It’s just a sprain,” said Stephen. “I’ll be fine.”

“It’s the least I can do to make up for pushing you out the window.”

“That’s up to you then,” said Stephen. Leaning forward, he let himself down from the wheelchair, making sure to keep weight off his bad leg. Limping over to the couch. With a small hop, he got himself onto the sofa with a small hop and made himself comfortable.

“Do you need anything?” Fluttershy asked.

“I’ll be alright. Thank you for everything though.”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” said Fluttershy. “You just try to get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sleep tight, Fluttershy!” said Pinkie as she took a seat next to Stephen.

“Goodnight,” said Stephen as she walked up the steps to her own bedroom.

Stephen relaxed his head against the couch’s throw pillow and closed his eyes. “You’re sure you want to try to keep me company, Pinkie? I’m just going to lay here so I’ll be a bit boring to be around.” He had planned on trying to replicate the results he had from simply laying down with his eyes closed a few days prior.

“That’s alright. It’s better to be bored than lonely,” Pinkie said enthusiastically before letting out another yawn.

“You look like you’re just as sleepy as I am. Are you sure you can do it?”

“Just watch me,” Pinkie said energetically. Then her eyes slowly dropped shut. Within a minute, she was curled up in her chair and snoring. Stephen couldn’t help but find that funny.

Once he was certain that Pinkie Pie was asleep, Stephen returned to relaxing. It felt good to relax but time was passing as slowly as one might think it would while lying awake on a couch and doing nothing. There was a clock on the opposite wall that he could watch. Occasionally, he would glance up at it and watch the hands tick for a couple of minutes before closing his eyes again. Stephen forced himself to stay in this comfortable position and let his body and mind recover as the hours ticked by. Eventually, the clock ticked seven.

Another Midnight Run (A New Beginning)

“Welcome back, America, to the final run of another amazing Wipeout. I’m John Anderson and with me, as always, is John Henson.”

“That’s right, John,” John Henson responded. “We are set on the final run of the final stage and we’ve finally convinced our final contestant to board the human catapult.”

“That’s a lot of finals, John.”

“Reminds me of my last month of college.”

“And much like my last month of college, today has involved heavy use of a protractor. That being our contestant, ‘Mr. Protractor’ Stephen. Let’s take a look at his highlights for the day.”

A dip-to-white dissolve and rushing wind sound effect brought a national audience away from a studio overlooking a menacing obstacle course and into a montage of Stephen being swatted about by various heavily padded mechanical traps on an obstacle course earlier that morning. “Mr. Protractor was our only contestant today to clear the ‘Big Balls’ and take the five hundred dollar bonus.” Edited over each of his falls was a variety of crunching, clanging and smashing sound effects mixed in with a few embarrassing screams he had unintentionally let out as he took the hits. “He got his circumference divided by ‘Granny’s Humble Pie’ during the qualifier but managed to squeak by just in time.” More clips played alternating between Stephen slowly clearing obstacle courses and stopping before each one to observe it, his eyes darting about as he watched the spinning mechanics. “He carefully calculated his way through the day and was the first to beat both the ‘Octoclobber’ and ‘Sugar Smacks’. Now if he wants to wash down that candy with the sweet taste of victory and fifty thousand dollars, he’ll have to face the ‘Wipeout Zone’.”

Another dip-to-white transition brought the cameras to Stephen tapping his foot nervously in a chair. Wearing a black wet suit, helmet and armored life vest, his breaths were deep but quick and his eyes were focused forward like a laser beam. “Well, Stephen had better make sure he can make those calculations quick in the brutal conditions of the ‘Wipeout Zone’ as the time to beat is set at ten minutes and seventeen seconds.”

The audio quickly faded to the camera that was set on Stephen just in time for him to clench his legs together, cross his arms, clutch the armpits of his vest and nearly hyperventilate, “Be brave. You can do this. It’s just a little drop. It’s not like you’re getting thrown from a cliff…”

“Stephen psyching himself up for the launch,” Anderson commented.

The last year-and-a-half of Stephen’s life flashed before his eyes. Despite some initial trust issues, him and Selena managed to recover their relationship with the help of advice from their families and friends. Reluctantly, Stephen went back to his customer service job. Although Damien was now making a point of avoiding Stephen or being respectful towards him, Stephen still took a major pay cut. Between this, utilities, mortgage, and hospital bills, money became tight and he had considered a second job. However, Stephen had found it tough to figure out exactly what he could do that would employ his talents. Just as it was looking hopeless, he caught Selena watching this game show on television and his hope returned almost instantly.

Deciding to suffer financial hardship for a bit longer, he employed the help of Jake to increase his fitness level and save for the necessary expenses. Several months and two trips to California later, Stephen found himself about to be hurled through the air by a hydraulic catapult. Night had fallen hours ago and his anxiety to begin the final test was mounting by the minute.

“The catapult is fifty feet tall,” Stephen attempted to console his fears. “At about one-hundred-sixty pounds I’ll probably travel between sixty and seventy feet…”

“Listen to him go, John!” Henson interjected. “It’s almost like he’s trying to apply all that useless math they tried to teach me in school.”

“Probably makes you wish you paid attention, doesn’t it?” Anderson responded.

“Not at all. That’s why I’m getting paid to be up here while he’s down there.”

Stephen lost track of how fast his heart was going and all of the logical thoughts that his head was swimming with a moment ago were replaced with how much he’d wished there had been a water slide or something that didn’t involve as much air time as a catapult. Tapping his thigh, he felt his cutie mark through the wet suit and reminded himself that he could do it. He’d done it before when it was much more dangerous. Taking a deep breath, he readied himself one last time. “Remember the proper diving form but don’t think…” he muttered to himself.

“How’s not thinking going to help him? He’s been doing nothing but thinking all day!” Henson commented when the camera cut to him for a second.

The beeping of the launch sequence started as Anderson replied. “Well we’re about to find out as the final run gets underway.”

Beep...Beep...Beep...BEEP!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHhhhh!!!"

Stephen’s stomach lurched with the chair as it pulled through the air, going from zero to thirty in two seconds and stopping abruptly at its apex. Despite his gut-wrenching fear of falling, Stephen stayed curled into a ball until he felt himself turn over the water below. Still screaming, he straightened out his body and spread his arms, holding it as he slowly turned mid air. At the apex of his flight, he followed his trajectory to a spot in the water. Plummeting towards it, he held his breath, tucked his chin into his chest and pointed his fingers over his head. The result was a forty-five degree angle entry into the frigid water after a terrifying three-second drop.

“Whoa! Look at that perfect Swan Dive form straight into the drink!” Henson called out over an instant replay.

“Mr. Protractor is off to a great start as he heads for the first obstacle, the ‘Flaming Throwtisserie’.”

Letting his leftover momentum carry him, he turned his body and effortlessly glided through the frigid night time water until he was halfway to the first platform. Ascending a narrow ramp, a wall of flames roared up at the back of the stage and dissipated as quickly as it came. Stephen found himself faced with heavily padded beams about thirty feet long and twelve inches thick. There were five of them laced with glowing LED lights and set on a spinning rotisserie.

“There he goes again. Mr. Protractor calculating his obstacle before trying to find the solution,” said Henson.

“That’s right, John,” Anderson replied. “It’s good to figure out what you’re going to do but that only helps if you get it right the first time. Otherwise you add to your time, which can slip away quick in the ‘Wipeout Zone’.”

“But that strategy has been paying off for him most of today. Let’s see if it can help him here while fighting both the clock and the hazards.”

With a plan in mind, Stephen climbed through a hole and into the rotisserie. Right away, he grabbed onto the beams and pressed his footing into the padding. It was slick with water and he almost slipped. But since falling wasn’t an option, he willed himself sturdy and made it so. Thanking Pinkie for the advice over a year ago, he shuffled sideways while simultaneously hamster-walking forward and against the rotisserie’s spin.

“I think he’s going to do it!” Henson called out as Stephen passed the halfway mark.

“But he’s got to be careful. That moving platform at the end tripped up the first contestant three times.”

Stephen eyed the platform through a hole. He only had a second to pick his course and landing position. Acting quickly, he dropped onto the platform. As soon as his feet touched down, it dropped two feet out from under him. He was caught by surprise, but kept his eyes forward and latched onto the next platform. Touching both feet down on the lowered finishing platform below him, he was clear.

He didn’t allow himself a moment to relax. There wasn’t a moment to spare as he pulled himself towards the next obstacle by his elbows. Jogging around the Throwtisserie, several dozen spotlights illuminated the dark obstacle ahead and water jets spurted into the air over it. When the mist cleared, Stephen was looking at a two-story spiraling staircase. Padded helicopter blades spun at the quarter and three-quarters mark of the staircase, which lead to the top of a large, gray and spinning flat-topped sphere.

With a leap, Stephen flopped safely onto the starting platform. Quickly but carefully getting to his feet, he scurried towards the obstacle. Using all fours, he noted the speed of the spinning poles and began scaling the stairs. After three steps, he stopped and ducked as a padded blade swung over his head. It bonked his helmet just hard enough to jostle his grip.

“Oh, that looked like a hard hit from the ‘Sweeper-Arm’, but Stephen holds tight!” Anderson commented from the studio.

Double-checking his grip, Stephen bolted halfway up the stairs and just barely missed the second half of the pole swinging across his feet. At about three-quarters of the way up the stairs, he stopped and waited for the next padded pole to pass over. Time was running out and he wanted to move faster. But that idea was quickly squashed as doing so would sacrifice time to assure proper footing and reading trajectories, which would guarantee time-killing visits to the drink. So he’d simply have to keep his pace, hope he had enough time and not mess up. Once more, he tapped his thigh and felt his mark through the wet suit. I can do this, he reminded himself. This is wasn’t easy but it was still much easier than it was the first time he’d done something like this. After all, he’d been practicing and nobody was shooting at him.

A harsh blast of water doused his face and blurred his vision. Correction, he thought to himself. No pony is shooting at me. Stephen had just enough time to wipe his face while the sweeper bar passed over his head. His vision mostly clear, he bolted to the top of the steps and hopped onto the real obstacle. A brief torrent of pyrotechnics greeted his arrival.

“‘The Dark Side of the Moon’ is a real poser to most contestants,” Anderson stated.

“Our Mr. Protractor has been very lucky to not have any wipeouts yet. But that’s likely been due to his ability to see what he was doing. Here, he has to jump down the shaft of the moon and slide blindly to the finish platform,” Henson retorted.

“This obstacle will test your timing as well as your luck.”

“Even with luck, you’ve still got to get down the slide fast enough to clear the gap between the moon and the next platform.”

Stephen wasn’t going to get fooled here. The two contestants that had gone before him both jumped into the hole blindly as well as did it wrong. The slide before him was a completely covered shaft that dropped through the ‘moon’ and spat him out about halfway down. He would need enough momentum to be launched about five feet through the air at an arc and onto the next obstacle’s platform. It was risky and Stephen didn’t know how much time he had left, but he was going to stand at the top of the slide and wait for just the right moment. Even worse was that he happened to land on the obstacle just as the slide’s opening, forcing him to wait one painfully slow rotation.

As soon as the time came, Stephen lept into the air and dropped straight down into the shaft. Taken by the nearly frictionless surface of the wet slide, he gained excess amounts of momentum during the drop and was spat out with more than enough force to not only land on the other platform, but slide across and bump into the next obstacle. Stephen tried to shake off the adrenaline as he clambered to his feet.

The ending was in sight and there wasn’t any more time left to lose. All Stephen had to do was hop from a trampoline and through a waterfall. He’d be landing on a slick platform on the other side to do it again with another trampoline. Then he’d be at the finish line. All he had to do was land properly and he’d be fine.

Rushing ahead, he slammed both feet down onto the trampoline and lunged forward. The next thing he knew, he was overwhelmed by darkness and submerged in water. Resurfacing, as quickly as possible, he took a shocked breath and winced at his ribcage. Looking up at the obstacle, he saw two sets of rapidly spinning padded blades. The darkness of night and the waterfall had perfectly concealed the traps. How could he have been so foolish to not check for those before rushing forwards? That’s exactly what the first contestant did and it caused that guy to go through this obstacle three times before finally making it to the finish.

“Oh! And Stephen, not paying attention, takes a rough hit into the freezing waters!” Henson shouted as they watched Stephen plummet on an instant replay.

“He took his eyes off the prize and broke away from his careful strategy, John. Now he’s going to pay the price as that swim back to the start takes a serious hit to his remaining time.”

He’d been moving too slow. It was over, he knew it. There’s no way he’d win now. The other competitors may have needed to do the obstacles at least twice each, but they all moved much quicker than he did. Any lead he might have had from not having to repeat the prior obstacles was demolished by that one stupid mistake.

But after two seconds, the buzzer didn’t go off yet. Time wasn’t out. Failing was unacceptable but even worse would be failing without giving it everything he had. Unlike the first time he had taken this mentality before going into battle, this time, Stephen knew exactly what to do.

Bearing the pain and doing his best to ignore the bitter cold water, Stephen stroked his way ten yards back to the ladder and climbed back up to the obstacle. This time, he carefully stepped onto the trampoline, righting himself as it bounced him slightly. He couldn’t see through the waterfall. Knowing better than to try and guess it a second time, he stuck his head through the waterfall and gauged their speed.

One...one-two...Two...one-two...Three...one-two...Four...one-two… Stephen counted the beats in his head as each pole passed his vision. Keeping the timing in his head, he straightened back up and started to bounce on the trampoline. After a few warmup bounces and reminding himself to ‘just do it’, he stomped hard onto the trampoline.

Blindly bouncing, Stephen passed through the waterfall and right in between the padded propeller’s blades. However, he realized he’d overshot the platform as soon as he found himself hurtling directly towards the gap between the platform and the next trampoline. Letting out a cry of desperation, he angled his feet forwards and caught the next trampoline. At the angle he landed, he might have bounced backwards. Instead, he righted himself before going airborne by throwing all of his weight forward as hard as possible. Not having any choice, he flew through the second waterfall and towards the finishing platform.

As he reached out for the finish line, a propeller nicked the heel of his foot and threw off his trajectory. Adrenaline shot through his system as he clawed desperately for the finishing platform. He landed awkwardly with his solar plexus to the corner and started to slide. “No!” he shouted and gripped the padded canvas so hard that it bent his fingernails back.

“Stephen, not going down without a fight, holds on for dear life! Can he make it?” Anderson shouted from the studio.

Shouting his determination to the heavens, Stephen dragged himself up inch by painful inch. A year’s worth of Jake’s torturous fitness drills and another rush of adrenaline couldn't make the difference through his fingers alone. Taking a huge risk, Stephen swung his lower body to the right and used every ounce of his abdominal strength to launch his hips to the left. Swinging his legs, he propped one ankle over the platform’s edge to aid his fingers.

With one last shout and powerful tug, Stephen threw himself onto the platform with a wet thud. His lungs were on fire as bad as when he had been walking through the desert and despite all of the cold water surrounding him, he had been just as dehydrated. The finish platform was padded comfortably and it would have been too easy to rest for a moment to regain his composure. But even though the buzzer hadn’t gone off yet, resting still wasn’t an option. It could go off at any second and defeat every last bit of Stephen’s efforts.

Grunting, panting and subsiding adrenaline prophesying a serious energy crash, Stephen shakily placed one foot flat on the platform. Launching himself straight up, he smashed the second foot down with a mighty stomp and bellowed victoriously at millions of people watching comfortably from their homes. Breathing heavily, he finally relaxed and looked at the clock.

“And with that, Mr. Protractor comes in with an Earth-shattering time of six minutes and four seconds!” Henson cheered from the studio.

A distant feminine voice washed over Stephen’s ears. “Stephen, you’ve just won fifty thousand dollars!” Jill Wagner called out from just outside the obstacle course.

Revitalized by the good news, Stephen burst into laughter representing his unparalleled joy. First, he would pay off his medical bills and mortgage. But there was an even more important piece of news that he needed to get off his chest right away. Looking straight into the camera, he shouted, “Pack your bags, Selena! We’re taking a vacation!”

Author's Note

Thanks to all those who enjoyed this little writing experiment of mine. I certainly enjoyed writing it. Even though it took way longer to complete than expected. Thanks to my prereader, who for the last year and couple months, has saved this story countless times.