The three best friends...... right... friends

AN: alright everyone, the second chapter is here. I wasn't gonna start this until i was done with "The things i do for love", but i get kinda twitchy when i look at this story's file and pass it up. Especially when i get a good idea for it. And, so, this is my gift to you. use it wisely.

I grabbed him by his muzzle, then looked around to see if anypony heard him. Thankfully no one heard, or cared enough to approach us about it. Then I looked him in the eye. Little known fact: I smoked pot when I was human. Not a lot of it, but enough for some people to label me as a stoner. Go figure. Other little known fact: If Celestia figured out I smoked pot at any time in my life, I’d be fired sooner than you could say “I swear to stoned, I’m not Celestia”.

“Look here you loudmouth little fuck, we’re friends, sure, but nopony knows I used to do that, and if anypony does find out I will cut your balls off and sell them on the black market, do I make myself clear?” I whispered through gritted teeth…. Yeah. “If Twilight were to find out about that, I could lose my job.” I said, still holding onto his muzzle.

“If I were to find out about what?”….. SSSHHHHHIIIIIIT!!! I let go of Night Shroud’s muzzle, then turned around to see Twilight standing right there…. Fuck my life.

“N-Nothing, don’t worry about it, much more pressing matters to attend to.” I said, hoping to avoid that.

“Such as?” such as my successful derailment of your thought process, BIATCH! Alright, that was uncalled for… but it was fun.

“Well, you see, my friends here… aren’t exactly what they appear to be, if you catch my meaning.” I said, and I pray to god, Celestia and Luna, all at the same time she does. She was kinda standing there for a while(my guess is she was trying to figure out what I meant. Typical Twilight, eh?), and I couldn’t help but notice that Crazy was doing a bit of a fanboy stare.. Yeah. Wouldn’t you if you were in a decent position to without them asking you questions and shit? Anyway, I kinda nudged him to bring him back to reality, since he was starting to drool.

“Bro, she’s not going anywhere, she’ll be in town just as long as you, you don’t have to stare at her like you’ll never see her again.” I said jokingly, bringing forth an angry look from him, and a confused look from Twilight. And a nudge from Night Shroud.

“Hey bro, this who you were talking about?”….

“Mikey?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up. Seriously what the hell would possess you to ask that question?” I said turning to him. This was not going to be going my way one bit.

“Wait a minute… His name is Mikey?” well, at least my derail was still successful.

“Yeah, and that one who’s still doing a fanboy stare is Trystan, we should probably go to the library if I’m gonna explain this.” I said, turning and kick Trystan in the knee. Not enough to do anything serious, but enough to get his attention. Did I ever mention how Trystan was an angry person? Because he was. And he is still angry. At the moment, he’s angry at me.

“The fuck was that for, asshole?” he said, getting in my face. Lesson one, never. Ever. Get in my face. I grabbed him roughly by his muzzle and twisted his neck a little bit until he started whimpering.

“First off, we’re leaving. Second off, I don’t know if you remember this, but I am captain of Celestia’s personal guard. You have no idea how many times I get punk ass kids getting in my face, and I can’t do jack shit. After a while, you want to just break the first pony to get in your face off duty in half…” I said, purposely trailing off, making him panic a bit.

“Blade, stop it. Your going to hurt him.” Twilight said with a cold authority…. That was one of the shitty things about my job. From top of the food chain to the bottom of the barrel, it’s: Celestia, Luna, Twilight, me.

“Yes ma’am.” I said just as coldly as I let him go. “Now lets go, before fanboy here get’s any ideas.” I said, giving him a joking shove. Funny thing about me and my friends: we can go from being at each others throats over something(and I mean like getting into a brawl over a girl) to being boys again in a matter of minutes. We’re just weird like that. Anyway…. Where was I again? Oh yeah, on our way to Twilights house. Well, when we got there, we walked inside and sat down throughout the room.

“Would you like anything to drink?” she asked us all. Now, Twilight started drinking about a year ago(on her eighteenth birthday), so I figured she’d have some of the good stuff around.

“Do you have anything strong around? Whiskey, vodka, anything like that?” I asked hopefully. She only shook her head and chuckled.

“Don’t you remember what happened the last time you were drinking in my house?” she asked….. She always had to bring that up, didn’t she?

“Hey, it wasn’t the last time I was drinking in your house, it was the last time Rainbow got drunk, so you can’t pull that one on me.” I said, half joking, half defensive….. I’ll tell you guys that story some other time. Lets just say that some bad shit went down when me and Rainbow started dating, and leave it at that for right now.

“You…. Have a point.” she said as she levitated down a few shot glasses and a bottle of Applejack Daniels(am I the only one who notices the coincidence there? Seriously, nopony else does) and filled the glasses.

“So, is it just me and her drinking, or are you guys gonna join us?”… did I even have to ask?

“Son-” alright, I had to cut him off there. You see, Crazy was part red-neck. Being part red-neck, he had a habit of calling some of his friends that were younger than him ‘son’ or ‘kid’. I was older than him now though. Epic win.

“Not anymore, kiddo.” I said as Twilight magicked me my glass, and I drank it. “Now I’m the one calling you son, son. Twenty years old round these parts.” I said with a smug grin and a chuckle.

“Whatever, anyway, you know me better than to ask that.” he said with a laugh.

“How bout you?” I asked, looking towards Night Shroud.

“Nah, I’m good.” he said. He never was much of a drinker.

“Alright then, get this man a glass.” I said, gesturing towards Crazy. Twilight obliged and hoofed him a glass. An empty glass. “Oh, you cruel, cruel mare.” I said jokingly.

“Captain, do I have to court marshal you?” she asked…. I couldn’t tell if she was being serious or not. Just so you know… she could have me court marshaled for damn near anything.

“N-No ma’am!” I said, snapping to attention with a salute…. Then she just broke out laughing. She was cruel…. To cruel…. I sighed heavily and shook my head. Then I remembered something. “Shit, we gotta hurry this up, or else I’ll be late.” I said. Normally, I was fine with being late… but this was one thing for which tardiness was not acceptable by my standards.

“Still keeping that promise, I see.” Twilight said emotionlessly. I nodded. “Alright, then lets wrap this up. Who are these guys, and how did they get here?” she asked, to which I decided to save time and give their names(both their human names and the pony names I had come up with) and their story of how they got here, then I looked at the clock. 5:30.

“Shit! I gotta run, guys, I’ll be right back.” I said as I galloped towards the door. I turned back right before I opened it. “Don’t get any ideas while I’m gone. If I hear anything bad about you guys from her, I will personally whoop both your asses.” I said. I didn’t wait for a reply before simply walking out the door and taking to the sky.