Great and Powerful Comeback Tour, One Night Only

When the griffon guards finished peeling prince Pelayo off the wall, when the Equestrian colors once again flew over the castle, when the holes in the throne room ceiling had been repaired, Twilight and Trixie sat down on the steps to the throne and did something they hadn’t done in years: had a chat.

“The Humble and Penitent Trixie would like to formally apologize,” Trixie said. “She was being a touch pigheaded.”

“I would also like to apologize,” Twilight replied. “If I hadn’t assigned motives to your actions, we could have saved a lot of money in repair costs.” She paused. “And I was really mean to you, and that wasn’t very friendship princeessly of me.”

They shook hooves and shared a smile. It felt nice to be back on solid ground.

“So what do we do about the picture?” Trixie asked. “All of Canterlot thinks we’re dating again.”

“We counter the narrative. We can say the image was a marketing stunt for your show here.”

Trixie gave her an inscrutable look. “Nothing more?”

Twilight smiled. “Nothing more. Getting married to you was one of the most interesting moments of my life, but it was also one of my biggest mistakes. We are deeply flawed as a couple.” Twilight took Trixie’s hoof in hers. “I hope I’m not breaking your heart a second time by saying that.”

“Actually? All this adventuring we did today led me to the same answer. Our marriage was ill-informed. Life-affirming. But ill-informed.”

They shook hooves again, and the smiles on their faces were deeper this time. Their eyes radiated a newfound sense of respect that hadn’t existed between them, even in marriage.

“So,” Trixie said, “I don’t know if you noticed, but our little marketing stunt got quite popular.”

“I did notice that.”

“This might be the kick the Great and Powerful Trixie needs to come out of retirement in a more meaningful way. I’m thinking comeback tour.”

“That sounds amazing. Do you really think you can pull it off?”

“Puh-lease. You couldn’t buy this kind of marketing if you had the keys to the castle treasury. And speaking of treasure, I have fallen on a sudden unexpected windfall of liquid cash, and I know exactly the kind of tour cart I want to blow it on."

"Cash? Did you steal Pelayo’s wallet while we were beating him up?"

Trixie chuckled. She pulled from beneath her cape a bulging leather coinpurse with prince Pelayo’s seal stamped on the side. “Thank our northern friend for his generosity.”

“You're kidding. You actually robbed him?”

“Trixie is above common thievery. She was paid in full in advance.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You mean...”

“I lied! My secret benefactor was no more a secret to me than all your disgusting habits were a week after we were wed. Pelayo hired me as a distraction. I was paid to waltz in, be myself, and then throw you in the wood chipper for real.”

The pleasant smile on Twilight’s face slowly melted away. “For real,” she repeated slowly, her jaw moving as if chewing on something bitter. “As in—”

“As in, no portals, right into the blades. But I didn’t! Despite it all, Trixie is no murderer. She decided it would be much more beneficial for her mystique to be a double agent. So I portaled you out, faked both of our deaths, and singlehoofedly saved the day.”

“You...” Twilight rubbed her temples. “You could have just told me he was trying to coup me. I put a hole in a twelve hundred year old roof. I almost broke several priceless stained glass windows. I broke every bone in prince Pelayo’s body and set pony-griffon relations back fifty years.”

Trixie squinted at Twilight like she was the stupidest mare alive. In a slow, teacherly voice, she explained, “It does not suit the Great and Powerful Trixie’s career comeback to be conventional. I could have tattled, and that would have achieved the same goal. But now every newspaper in Equestria is going to be writing about the ex-lovers reunited in a die-hard race against time.” Trixie winked. “The tickets basically sell themselves.”

Twilight let out a long sigh. “I wish I could divorce you twice.”