Ardent Orange

Before the three tribes bonded in harmony, pegasi lived as the warriors of the sky. Scholars, as well as pink alicorn princesses, are wont to point out how even a millennium later those feisty instincts still manifest in the final, modern battlefield: Love.

And sirens? The territorial, antediluvian apex warriors of the sea?

Don't get the pretty pink pony princess started.

An old jeep rumbled up to the Final Sun. The engine shut off in growls.

"Gaahh, we're so late dude."

"And whose fault is that?"

One woman moved to hop out habitually, and thought better of it before stepping down carefully. The other took her steps out as firmly as ever.

"Didn't know she used so much gas," the hopper muttered.

"Told ya."

"Mhhh."

Work boots and sneakers wobbled to the front together. Lights were on, but it looked near empty. A strong calloused hand pushed in the door. "Howdy y'all, sorry we're - oh God."

A blur of orange was fighting - no, kissing? - no, fighting and kissing and biting and fighting - Dash slammed her eyes shut and shook her head. She tried looking again.

A military uniform, torn half-open. A strapless dress, struggling to dress. Adagio fuckin' Dazzle and her college soccer captain were locked in a battle for the top, a lipstick-and??-slap-marked Spitfire temporarily pushing Adagio against the wall, her teeth drawing along her neck before Adagio seized out a grip and threw themselves both to the floor, taking the said position against Spitfire who tried to both seize back the advantage, and barely restrain a stalwart moan.

Dash looked up from the sight. Applejack, still seated in a booth, had both hands propping up her face returning a thousand yard stare. Rainbow not-so-sneakily stood behind the bar, refilling her mug at the tap. AJ seemed frozen beside her.

The noises were getting worse.

"What the fuck- Hey. Hey!"

The horrifying mating of a territorial beast and a just as intense pegasus halted. Spitfire gave what little she could see of the interrupting pant legs a glare. Adagio looked down one last time before turning away and facing up. It took more than a moment, the almost painful gripping of Spitfire's hands around her arms, the heated body of space between them, her own grip finally loosening, but as the haze cleared and she ran her eyes over the newcomers she started to laugh.

The younger Applejack looked up and away with an eye roll. The younger Rainbow Dash looked embarrassed, her hands lowering around her stomach. Spitfire looked closer. Nothing seemed that funny. She blinked at Dash's arms, then over at AJ. It was their stomachs - they showed the same signs of being about four months into carrying foal. Her eye twitched. Her eyes trailed back to the booth, daggers glared into a heads-down Rainbow Dash and a sheepish Applejack.

"She got herself PREGNANT!?"

Deathly, awkward silence. The closed sign now hung over the bar's door. Rainbow and Dash sat on one side of the booth while Applejack and AJ took the other. Spitfire sat with her head in her hands.

Three people were dying, all for separate reasons. Dash's head was face down on the table, cooking in a general stew of embarrassment. Rainbow hid her face in her arms, waiting for her boss' judgement call. Adagio had stopped and started laughing several times over, the ceases each broken by a realization of the absurdity of what had ultimately brought Spitfire here, or how badly the elders had messed up with experimentation in Equestria to do this to their mirror selves, or the comedic schadenfreude of their faces - it wouldn't stop. It couldn't stop, this was the best day ever, ever since her sisters had made up.

"Well," tried Applejack.

"I need a drink," muttered AJ.

Applejack frowned and poked her younger half in the stomach. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh my God. Oh sweet Noden. One second - yes - " Adagio got up, still wheezing. The table returned to stillness.

Spitfire loudly clicked her tongue once, with a tckh. Blew out steam. Her mind wandered, searching for what the next action was supposed to be. Rainbow finally put her hands down. Spitfire's own arms were sore, scratched like a hail storm, aching. She made eye contact for a split second, dipped a feather's worth of a nod, and turned it to a look off at Adagio at the bar. Five white drinks were already set aside, a shaker being prepped for one last.

Maybe she didn't need to do anything. Seemed that had gotten her covered in bruises, instead of just kisses. Not that bruises were always bad. Applejack and Dash - no, Rainbow now, apparently, as the four seemed to phrase it - the two were nudging each other, and giving each other looks as if it was an effective method of communication. AJ groaned at the display, but was cut off from starting up by Adagio setting down her drink in front of her. "Virgin white stalliongradies." Adagio settled the tray down on the table, her full hand darting from underneath while a jingle of keys chimed out from the tray's center, the remaining drinks free for everyone else to take, aside from her own properly mixed cocktail.

AJ looked down and subtracted the vodka and coffee liquor. She frowned. "So it's just whipped heavy cream?"

Adagio slacked back, lowered an eyebrow. "Look, have you ever been mad while downing a milkshake?"

AJ shook her head. Rainbow went for her drink. "Constantly," said Applejack. The table paused. Stares all went in one direction. Applejack looked around the table, and at the six creamy drinks. "Sorry, I thought we were still talking about sex." Adagio sucked in a breath very quickly, and put her drink down to avoid spilling it. "Virgins." Dash moaned and slammed her head back down. Adagio's shakes started to come back.

"Okay!" Spitfire seized the attention of the table. She pointed at Rainbow, who was managing to get the froth down. "The plan!" Rainbow blinked. She blinked again. She looked at Adagio and pointed first.

Spitfire looked up at Adagio. She shrugged.

"Rainbow, that's one of the Dazzlings. We sang songs against her and broke her evil mind control stuff," quickly contributed Dash. "It's uh, been a while, like five years?"

"And I've been fantastic. Thank you," Adagio tersely replied.

"Looks like it," tried AJ. "Is this your bar?"

"My fourth." She turned. "You've been supplying me through Mr. Rich for years, Miss Apple." She took it down a notch. "Best apple cider in Canterlot," she begrudged with an exhale. She stared at AJ.

"I uh. Mac takes care of the paperwork, I just farm things."

Spitfire grimaced. One hand went over a twitching eye. "I hope at least one of you learns to read in the near future." Rainbow put her face back in her hands. Spitfire rolled her hand over her own mouth, blowing out a last exhale. Her hands were turning out to be, well, handy. No loose feathers ending up everywhere if they were used the same. She refocused on the table.

"I guess we're gonna go to Canterlot now, I guess," said AJ. "Figure out the whole changing pregnancy thing the princess was going to help us with." She looked at Adagio one more time, then back to Spitfire. "They're said they could use some pods to store the kids until the future, take Dash and I back out without them.." Spitfire blinked back a lot of confusion.

"Why? What?"

"The changelings," Applejack corrected, "can help them hold off on having foals - kids, too soon." She pointed at Dash. "Athlete." Pointed at AJ. "Head laborer. Not a good time to be parents, yet." She scratched her head. "Need to figure out how the heck that's going to work out over here too."

"Can't imagine those documents would be easy with two mothers. I could help, for a price, of course," chimed Adagio.

"That's uh, I mean, thank ya, maybe. That's not the biggest problem, really."

"What is?" Spitfire looked at AJ, who was blushing for the first time. She looked back around the table. Rainbow poked her fingers together. Applejack scratched at her forehead. Dash looked at the two elders, braved a breath and squeaked.

"We're not sure who the dad is."

Spitfire slammed her forehead down into the table. Adagio lost it.

"Rainbow Dash," she said, to the ground. The younger one figured it out.

"Yes? Captain?"

"Tell Fleet I'm taking the week off." She breathed in, exhaled. Adagio doubled over next to her in laughter.

"What?" Rainbow asked, much louder.

"The whole week." Spitfire looked up. "I'm taking the whole week off."

Rainbow's gaze widened. "You're sure?"

"If the three of you can't handle this between two decades of experience, the winds may as well take the Academy when I retire, Dash." She pointed an arm out at the front door. "Just get going."

"Well," managed Applejack, standing up first. "Alrighty then."

Emptied drinks were pushed to one side, phones and keys gathered. The procession trickled away from the table, aside from Rainbow. She looked back at her boss, and Adagio, who had finally recovered and stood up. They were covered head to - well, chest, in red marks and bruises. It looked like the first week of her honeymoon.

"You gonna be alright, Spit? Both of you?"

Adagio smiled back coyly, "Oh, mhmm, we'll be quite alright. Thank you, Mister Apple."

Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and bit down on her thumb with an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, alright, fuck you too."

"Please don't Dash, we don't need you knocking her up too."

Rainbow turned to go, immediately. "THANKS BOSS. LOVE YOU TOO," she fumed in a flush of red, stomping out the door. Adagio followed closely chuckling, hand swiping the bar's keys from the tray. They clanged into her hand and she moved to lock up.

"My sunglasses, please?" Spitfire held a hand out towards Adagio's back.

"Hmm," she murmured back. She put the lenses on, looking out the front door at the only car in the parking lot. "Oh... oh..."

"'Dagio?" Spitfire stood and walked beside her. One of the Applejacks was fussing with the back of their carriage. The other stood beside her, watching closely. Two Dashes held their faces in their hands.

"I can see them again, Miss Spitfire. Disappointment, embarrassment, confusion." A despondent, yet relieved breath flowed out onto the glass.

Spitfire put her hand on Adagio's shoulder. She turned. "What else?"

An inferno. Flames - generosity, loyalty, kindness. A harrowed battle with honesty, a prizable leader's laughter. And an awful, cocky, unrelenting charm.

She smiled, and pushed up the glasses. "I think we're going to need more than a week."

She leaned in for the kiss.