My Life Sucks

Silver Spanner dodged a colt and filly running down the street and she smiled after them before continuing down the street, her saddlebags bouncing occasionally against her flanks.

Silver Spanner paused at a homeless stallion on the corner and she flicked an couple bits into his hat, flashing a warm smile his way.

“Have a good day sir,” Silver Spanner waved as she trotted away. “Bakery, where the hell is the bakery?” Silver Spanner held up a map to her face and frowned. “Turn left at the theater. Which fucking theater? There’s like, ninety theaters on one damn street!”

Someponies looked at her and she looked, letting out a faint growl and they all gulped as they all collectively decided to go about their day.

“Assholes. Think they could point me out to Donut Joe’s. I Twinkleshine promised to pick up donuts for the sleepover tomorrow. I can’t pick anything up if I don’t know where the hell I’m going.”

Silver Spanner trotted in circles around the block, her face turning more red from anger as she continued cursing internally.

“I been running all over hell’s half acre and this shit is annoying the hell outta me. I’m fixing to raise all Tartarus!” Silver Spanner shook a hoof at the sky as everypony stooped and stared. “What are y’all looking at?”

“Are you okay?” A purple unicorn trotted up to her. “Most ponies don’t really scream at the sky.”

“Yeah I’m cool. Just trying to find a decent bakery to pick up some donuts. Call it a dry run for tomorrow morning,” Silver Spanner blushed and scuffed a hoof. “Wow, my countryisms really came out there, didn’t they? Did uh my country accent come out?”

The mare nodded.

“Heavily, but it isn’t bad. It’s part of who you are. And it was fairly cute if I’m being honest.”

“Heh, thanks,” Silver Spanner blushed and rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “Name is Silver Spanner, pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Twilight Sparkle- hey wait. Silver Spanner?” Twilight asked as she and Silver Spanner shook hooves. “I’m a friend of Twinkleshines. She said a lot of good things about you. Come along, I’ll take you to my friends bakery. We’ve met, by the way.”

Silver Spanner eyed her warily, looking her up and down. She didn’t remember seeing the mare before.

“Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” Twilight clarified, looking back at her. “We share second hour. You’re Princess Sunset’s friend.”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anypony other than Miss Raven call Sunset by her proper full title. But yeah, I guess I’m her friend, yeah? I’ve been hanging out with her recently,” Silver Spanner answered and tapped a hoof against the ground. “Hey, where’s the tool store? I need to buy some metal brackets. Ran out of my last experiment.”

Twilight froze and Silver Spanner slowed to a stop, looking back at her with a slowly raising eyebrow.

“Experiments? What do you make?” Twilight asked curiously and stepped closer to Silver Spanner. “Moondancer and I enjoy meeting anypony who is interested in any thing scientific or mechanical or more.”

“I’m currently working on something electrical related called a generator but I’m hitting a stone wall on the fuel. Sunset helped out a bit with it and her mom even asked to see some of my work. I’m a bit nervous, if I’m being honest,” Silver Spanner admitted and tightened the straps on her saddlebags with her mouth. “I mean, my cutie mark is a wrench for a reason.”

Twilight tapped a hoof against her chin, examining the mare long enough to make Silver Spanner start feel self conscious, her gray eyes looking around awkwardly, using her magic to toy with her white mane.

“We can talk more about this later. Come on, I’ll take you to Lemon Hearts parents bakery. She goes to CSGU with us, by the way. We don’t share a lunch hour with you, but Lyra does. You’ve probably heard her, she’s pretty loud and loves a good joke. Most of her jokes I don’t get, but Minuette does. Sometimes she laughs, sometimes she gives Lyra that look that screams I’m gonna strangle you in your sleep, if you get me,” Twilight chuckled and turned down another street.

So that’s what Silver Spanner had saw the other day. Lyra had a surprisingly dirty sense of humor that Silver Spanner honestly didn’t expect from a Canterlotian. She did find it pretty funny and got a lot of confused looks when she laughed.

“That’s the museum of art,” Twilight told Silver Spanner and she pointed towards the building Silver Spanner had been looking at. It reminded her more of a brick than anything else really. Just a brick with pillars and a weird shaped thing that she assumed was a metal bean out front for some reason. Why an art museum wanted a metal bean on their front lawn was beyond her. “Just a few more turns and...we’re here!”

The two stood in front of a small store with a flashing neon sign that had a stallion with a mustache next to it, holding a giant frosted pink donut.

“Donut Joes,” Silver Spanner read out aloud and Twilight nodded quickly. “Hey, thanks Twilight. I owe you big time.”

“Then repay me by allowing me to buy you a coffee. I have so much to ask you about,” Twilight grinned and clapped her hooves together excitedly. “For example, I think it’s a great thing you’re doing for Princess Sunset. I mean, sure I played with her when we were in magic kindergarten, but that was years ago. I don’t really blame her for not remembering me. Heck, I barely remember myself.”

“She remembers you. She brought you up the other day. She’s just awkward around ponies, I guess.”

“Makes sense,” Twilight conceded after a moment as she lead Silver Spanner inside, a bell ringing once the door opened. “Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll bring you a coffee. Unless you like tea instead?”

“Coffee works. Hazelnut creamer please.”

Silver Spanner sat down at a random booth, awkwardly flicking her tail side to side. She wasn’t entirely fond of ponies she just met paying for her drinks. It seemed rude to her, but it also seemed even ruder to turn her down.

“Lots of pictures of a yellow unicorn,” Silver Spanner mused as she looked around. “Lemon Hearts, first place for science fair. Huh. I should sign up and get my hooves on a trophy. Maybe Big Mac will finally freaking ask me out then.”

Silver Spanner gave a sigh and propped her head up.

“Who in Equestria is Big Mac?” Twilight asked as she set two cups down.

“Oh uh a friend back in Ponyville. Definitely just a friend,” Silver Spanner blushed and rubbed her neck. “Nothing more, nothing less. You know how it goes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, Twilight. So uh what questions do you have for me?” Silver Spanner hastily changed the topic and Twilight’s eyes light up as she teleported a large notebook in front of the two.

“Oh, we could be here all day.”

Why do I feel like this is a mistake? Silver Spanner idly wondered after taking a sip of her coffee.

“Are you guys absolutely certain you have to meet her mom? I mean, she’s the princess for crying out loud. There’s zero chance of me coming to any harm in the castle. Have you seen how many soldiers patrol the castle?” Silver Spanner complained as she led her parents into the castle courtyard. “It’s like that one scene from that movie with all the military around like it’s freaking Area Fifty Nine.”

“Yes we do. We always meet the parents of your friends, no matter what or who they are,” Oil Canvas chided as Silver Spanner adjusted her saddlebags that contained her toothbrush, toothpaste and a few other random things she need along with a box of donuts held aloft in her magic.

“Ugh.”

A guard opened the door for the trio and Silver Spanner briefly paused to say thanks before continuing on into the castle.

Sunset paced in front of the door, Celestia watching with a raised eyebrow and a bored expression.

“I mean, what if they never show up to make me look like a fool? Or what if they do, but decide they don’t like me and leave halfway through? I’ll be the laughing stock of Canterlot. The media and paparazzi would be all over me like a fat pony is over an all you can eat buffet. What kind of Princess can’t handle a simple sleepover? We’ll have to move to Trottingham, change our appearances and names,” Sunset exclaimed and squished Celestia’s cheeks with her hooves and she resembled a fish. “This is awful!”

“Sunset?”

“Yes, Mom?”

“This is ridiculous. You’ve spent all night yesterday and all day today worrying. And if they do for some reason leave that isn’t an emergency, I’ll have them arrested for something. I don’t know yet,” Celestia shrugged and took of a sip of her tea. “Calm down. You’ve faced worse than this. Like the time-”

“Like the time you sent me to the Griffon empire to negotiate for the release of three hostages, I remember.”

Sunset continued pacing in the hallway before stopping at a window and looking outside at some random ponies outside the castle walls closing up their shops for the night and she stretched with a yawn.

“See, you had nothing to worry about,” Celestia pointed a hoof down the hall at Twinkleshine and Silver Spanner along with two other ponies she didn’t know. “Hm, family I presume. I can see the resemblance.”

Sunset gave a brief relieved sigh as she joined Celestia at the door. Sunset had very loudly been voicing her worries about tonight to anypony who would listen.

She still planned to buy that poor new private guardpony a bunch of flowers as an apology after shaking him hard enough make him fall over.

And Raven. And probably a dozen other ponies in the castle that Sunset had vented to about it. She would have preferred if Angel Wings and Blue Ivy had been able to come over but apparently Angel Wings was visiting a friend in Cloudsdale and Blue Ivy had a family member from out of Canterlot visiting for the week.

“Hey!” Sunset smiled slightly and used all of the self control she had to rein in her nerves. “Good morning- evening. Good evening. Not morning. Morning was hours ago but you already knew that, heh.”

Sunset had never wanted to slam her head out the stained glass window as bad as she did right now. I’m never gonna live that one down, Sunset thought bitterly.

“Princess,” Oil Canvas and Sweetie Charm both bowed with Twinkleshine and Silver Spanner. “Sorry, Princesses.”

“Hello,” Celestia bowed her head slightly. “Family?”

“Parents,” Sweetie Charm stared at the outstretched hoof in front of her and she slowly shook hooves with Celestia. She never thought in a million years she’d ever be in this position, shaking hooves with Celestia. “It’s an honor to meet you.

“The honor is mine.”

Sunset shifted anxiously on her hooves and Silver Spanner resisted the urge to facehoof as her parents introduced themselves.

“I wonder if a fall from this height would kill me,” Silver Spanner muttered as she looked outside and she groaned. “Mom, dad, you’re embarrassing me. She’s the princess, I’m safe in the castle. Did you really have to meet her?”

“Yes they did,” Celestia answered before anypony else child speak. “It’s their job to make sure you’re safe regardless. And I’m glad they came to meet me. Come along and we can discuss our kids over tea. Sunset, have fun with your friends and I love you.”

Sunset blushed a bright red as Celestia leaned and kissed her forehead as Silver and Twinkleshine both stifled their laughs.

“Mom, you’re embarrassing me,” Sunset muttered as Celestia nuzzled her slowly. “Mom!”

“Sorry,” Celestia stood up but she didn’t sound particularly sorry as she grinned at the unicorn. “Showing my affection, is all. Have a good night and I’ll see you all tonight morning.”

“Night Mom,” Sunset watched her and the other two ponies trot towards Celestia’s room. “Uhm hi.”

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“Uh want help carrying anything?” Sunset asked and levitated Twinkleshines saddlebags onto her back and stumbled. “Dear God. What is in here?”

“Some shampoo, games, bottle of mace from Moondancer, my sleeping bag and a stuffed animal,” Twinkleshine answered and blushed. “Yes, I still sleep with a stuffed animal. Sue me.”

“I mean, I sleep with a stuffed sheep,” Sunset answered with a shrug. “Half my bed is covered in stuffed animals. I just shoved them in the closet before you guys showed up.”

“How did that go?” Silver Spanner smirked and pulled out a stuffed green dinosaur, waving it around with a grin. “Meet Rawr.”

“Okay, all these stuffed animals gotta get out of here until Twinkleshine, Silver Spanner and Ivory Melody leave,” Sunset trotted around her bedroom. “Where the heck can I put them all?”

Sunset dropped onto her stomach and looked under her bed, using her horn as light as a spider crawled and she gave a strangled scream, scrambling backwards and she blasted the spider into the next dimension as a guard burst down the door.

“Are you okay, Princess Sunset?” The stallion asked and pulled out a sword as Sunset nodded.

“Yeah. Just a spider,” Sunset answered and accepted the hoof as the guard pulled her to her hooves. “Thank you sir.”

“Anytime Princess,” the guard sheathed his sword and looked around the hundreds of stuffed animals.

“I can explain.”

“Sorry about the door,” the guard rubbed the back of his head and Sunset waved a hoof dismissively.

“We have a dozen in storage for some odd reason, it’s all good. I’ll get Lock Tight to fix it. Have a good day,” Sunset waved and she watched him trot out, shutting her broken door behind him. “And now for all the plushes.”

Sunset looked around and her eyes fell on her closet door.

“That’ll work,” Sunset shrugged and she started levitating the hundreds of plushes and stuffed animals into her closet and slammed the door shut, the door bulging as she stood on her hind legs, her back pressed against the door and she faintly made out a sound of something glass breaking. “I really hope that wasn’t something important.”

A low rumbling sound came from the closet and Sunset gave it a concerned look as she gulped nervously.

“What in the world was that?” Sunset wondered aloud as the door sprung open and she was flung across the room onto her bed. “Oh my-”

A stuffed raccoon slammed into her face and she rubbed her muzzle after she emerged from the pile of stuffed animals.

“Ow.”

“It went well,” Sunset decided and flicked her tail. “Hey Rawr. Anyway uh, let’s go to my room. I spent six hours cleaning my room. It was awful. Anyway, I think the staff is done with the other few snacks i requested I know Twinkleshine likes. We got some blueberry scones.”

Twinkleshines eyes light up and she trotted around the room as the other two watched. Silver Spanner didn’t even know what the heck are scone was. Probably something weird fancy ponies liked to eat.

“That’s good and all, but I got a question,” Silver Spanner raised a hoof and the other two looked at her.

“Yeah, what’s up Silver Spanner?” Sunset asked and Twinkleshine took her saddlebags back.

“What the hell is a scone?”