Hi there, everypony, and welcome to my channel!
If you haven’t met me before, I’m Cozy Glow. Yes, the same Cozy Glow who nearly drained all the magic from Equestria! Hehe, anypony remember that? I was so close to draining all of Equestria’s magic and becoming the Empress of Friendship! Then Twilight and her friends sent me to Tartarus. And then they turned me to stone. Hmph.
But I’m free now! You see, there were a lot of ponies who didn’t like that I got turned to stone. They said it was horrible for the princesses to petrify a young, not to mention super adorable, filly such as myself. And I guess the princesses got tired of all the backlash, because they decided to free me for a week and see how it went.
Only, I’m not really free, because I have to stay in Twilight’s castle so she can keep a close eye on me. Oh, and I had to promise not to try to destroy anypony for the entire week.
Anyhoo, I’m so glad to see all of you here on my channel! I just love making new friends! Today I’m going to be answering some questions from my fans. Now, you might be wondering, how in Equestria do I have any fans if I just got freed from stone and haven’t posted a video yet? Well, me getting turned to stone was really controversial, and I have a lot of apologists. Which are kind of like fans, right?
So let’s get started! My first question is from someone called the dobermans, who asks, “Cozy, how would you get revenge on Celestia, Luna, and Discord?”
That’s a great question, and there’s only one answer—I would turn the three of them to stone!
And I wouldn’t even let them pose first. Just like they did to me!
Of course, I’m not sure how I would do it. I don’t have any magic. And I don’t know anyone with magic who would be willing to turn Celestia, Luna, and Discord to stone. I did hear once about this creature called a cockatrice who can turn you to stone just by looking at you. Maybe I could capture one of those. But I don’t know how I’d do it without getting petrified myself. And I don’t want that to happen. Again.
Besides, I bet turning other ponies to stone probably doesn’t count as “not trying to destroy anypony for the entire week.” It’s a bucket list item of mine, though!
My next question is from Bad Dragon, who asks, “Wouldn't your parents spanking you be a more appropriate punishment for what you did than being sent to Tartarus for all eternity (and being stoned for all eternity after that)?”
Golly, I don’t think any of those things are appropriate punishments. All three of them are filly abuse. Also, this sounds like more of a rhetorical question than a…a…um, whatever the opposite of a rhetorical question is.
But if you’re asking if I would rather have had a conventional punishment than gotten sent to Tartarus, then the answer is yes one hundred times over.
Actually, after I tried to drain all the magic from Equestria, Twilight originally wanted to make me clean the entire Friendship School from top to bottom, which would have been awful, but a lot less awful than being thrown in Tartarus. But the other princesses said I needed a more severe punishment, and that besides, if Twilight let me have access to the entire Friendship School, I would probably just discover another secret room where I would try to drain all the magic again.
Anyhoo, next up I have a couple of questions from someone named NanoMouse. First: “How did you first become Tirek's pen pal? (And how did you get mail in/out of Tartarus, for that matter?)”
That’s a good question. You see, I’ve looked up to Tirek ever since that time when he went on a rampage around Equestria, trying to suck all the magic out of everypony. He was so close to overthrowing the princesses and ruling Equestria! It was kind of a scary experience, but I aspired to be just like him someday. Once I got to Twilight’s school and started plotting to drain all the magic from Equestria, I realized I needed help with my plan, and I knew he was the perfect centaur to help me. So I wrote him a letter. I figured he probably had nothing better to do than answer it. I was right. He wrote me back, and well, you know the rest.
I still look up to him. A little. But I no longer aspire to be just like him someday. That would be a downgrade.
And as for getting mail in and out of Tartarus, well, it’s just like getting mail in and out of any other place! I addressed my letters to Tirek in Tartarus, put them in the mailbox, and then I guess that that scatterbrained pony who delivers the mail took them to their destination. Super simple. If you ever need help getting a letter to Tartarus, just call on me and I’d be happy to offer you some advice!
NanoMouse also asks: “Which of your Legion of Doom teammates would you enjoy betraying more, and why?”
Huh, I didn’t know people called us the Legion of Doom. That’s interesting. It’s not really a very fitting name, though; there are only three of us.
To answer your question, I could never betray either of my teammates! They’re more than just allies in my plan to take down Twilight Sparkle: they’re my friends. And trust is one of the most important aspects of friendship. I would never break the trust that my friends have in me!
But definitely Chrysalis.
You know, if I had to pick.
Moving on!
My next question is from someone named The Ohvist, who asks, “Your designs to remove Magic along with your mysteriously unknowable background, along with how nonsensical your statement to Twilight when she asked you the ‘why’ of this; that was preceded by your inward cringing before verbally lashing out…Were you actually trying to remove Magic: because you’re underneath some sort of Ge—Gea—” Um, I should probably look up how to pronounce this word.
Oh, okay, here’s the pronunciation. I’m still not sure I’m going to get it right, but…“Were you actually trying to remove Magic: because you’re underneath some sort of Geas?” Which, it seems, is basically like a curse. Okay, that—
Wait, are you trying to suggest that I’m not smart enough to drain Equestria’s magic without being under some kind of curse?
Of course I wasn’t under a curse! I drained magic from Equestria of my own free will! What kind of villain do you take me for? I’m insulted!
Also, my response to Twilight was not nonsensical. Friendship is power! And someday, I will collect more friends than her! Hahahaha!
Oh. Sorry. I think I got a little carried away there.
But to answer your question, no, I wasn’t under a curse.
Or at least, I don’t think I was.
Next up I have a couple questions from CelticAwakening, who asks, “Whose signature did you forge to get accepted into the school?”
Ooh, interesting question. Believe it or not, I actually didn’t have to forge anyone’s signature to get into the school. Twilight doesn’t make ponies fill out paperwork to get into the School of Friendship. Or, at least, she didn’t while I was there. After I turned on her, I kind of hope she started being more careful and requiring at least some sort of paperwork before she would take in a student.
But while I was there, she was rooted in the belief that friendship should be accessible for everycreature, regardless of whether or not they have someone who can sign papers for them, and apparently that even if a random filly you’ve never met before and know nothing about appears outside your school’s front door asking to learn friendship, you should take them in, no questions asked. Kinda dumb on Twilight’s part, but lucky for me!
CelticAwakening also asks, “Is it true you don’t need food in Tartarus and magic sustains you, or if you did get food, what was it?”
Yes, it’s true that you don’t need food in Tartarus. I wouldn’t say magic sustains you, though, exactly. I was still really hungry in Tartarus; I just couldn’t starve. Fortunately I was only there for a couple of days before Grogar…I mean, Discord…summoned us to destroy Twilight Sparkle. Living at that lair was not fun, but at least we had good meals.
And by good, I mean edible. Tirek and Chrysalis were not great cooks.
My next question is from Evil Glow, who asks, “Do you like bananas?”
First off, can I say, I love your username. Secondly, that is a very random question. I get the feeling it’s a reference to something, but I’m not sure what. After all, I have literally been living under a rock…well, in a rock…for the past five years or so.
But to answer your question, sure, I like bananas. Though I can’t stand banana bread.
My next questions are from irontiuay, who asks: a) if I liked being at the friendship school, and b) what my mane routine is.
Okay, those are some good questions. I’ll start with the friendship school one. Being at the school was okay. I couldn’t stand most of the other students, and I didn’t like any of our teachers except I used to like Counselor Starlight before Twilight gave her my job as the substitute headmare of the school. But the meals were good, since Professor Pinkie Pie and Professor Applejack are both good cooks, and the sleeping arrangements were okay. Though my roommate was insufferable. She would toss and turn constantly before trying to fall asleep, and she had the top bunk, so every time she moved, the whole bed shook. She wouldn’t have been able to survive being in stone for five minutes, let alone five years. It was awful.
As for my mane routine, I wash my hair and put foam rollers in it every night before I go to bed, and when I take the curlers out in the morning, my mane and tail have the bouncy and adorable curls I’m known for! Of course, I’m not sure how I’m going to curl my hair now because all of my old curlers are back at Grogar’s cave. I used to leave them all over the floor all the time and Tirek and Chrysalis would constantly yell at me to clean them up. Good times.
You know, I’ve never thought about it before, but I have to say, the one perk of being in stone is that it makes mane care a lot easier. I haven’t washed my hair for five years, and it still looks adorable!
Okay, I think I have time for a couple more questions. Ooh, here are some good ones. These are from Saiyan Cartoon Champion, who asks: “Does it hurt that the Mane Six and princesses were willing to offer Starlight and Discord another chance, but not you?” and “Was there ever a time when your ‘friendship’ with the CMC or any other pony felt at least somewhat genuine? Do you think the CMC would give you another chance if you asked them to? If they did, would you take it genuinely or just try to use them again?”
Okay, starting with the first question; why, golly, yes, it does hurt that Starlight and Discord were offered second chances and I wasn’t. It’s such a terrible injustice, isn’t it? After all, Starlight and Discord were old enough to know better, and I’m just a little filly. I’m shocked that Twilight Sparkle, the supposed Princess of Friendship, would offer two notorious villains a chance to reform but would still send a cute little filly to Tartarus without even trying to figure out why she did the things she did. Isn’t that just awful of her? I can’t believe that she would do something like that to me.
And to answer your second question, sure, there were points when my friendship with the Crusaders felt genuine. I had a lot of fun hanging out with them when they first started tutoring me. I’ve always been kind of a loser at friendship, hence my need for their tutoring, and the CMC were the first ponies my age that I really got along with. I kind of hoped maybe they would ask me to be a Cutie Mark Crusader too. But then they graduated friendship school and I didn’t, and they didn’t really hang out with me as much. I feel bad for betraying them, but it’s not like they were very loyal friends to me, either, you know.
If I asked for another chance, I bet they’d give it to me. After all, kindness and generosity are two of the Elements of Harmony. But I don’t think they really want me to be a part of their group, so I don’t see the point in asking for another chance.
And no, I’m not crying. Twilight’s castle smells weird and it makes my eyes water. That’s all.
Anyhoo, that’s all the time we have for today! Thanks for watching, and if you liked this video, please be sure to like and subscribe. And if there are any other videos you’d like to see me do, feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments. Until next time, this is Cozy Glow, signing off!
Author's Note
All of the questions Cozy answered are questions from real Fimfiction users (meaning that I don't get to get the credit for the good questions, and I don't get to be blamed for the ones you don't like 
). You can find all the original questions here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213908/cozy-glow/thread/553394/just-looking-for-some-help-with-a-story-im-planning-on-writing. As you can see, I didn't get around to answering all of them in this chapter...so if you liked this chapter, you can read the bonus chapter, where Cozy answers all the leftover questions.
Oh, and as always—constructive criticism is welcome, but please be kind!
Author's Note
I didn't get around to answering all of the questions in the first chapter, but Cozy didn't want to leave anyone hanging, so here are her answers to the leftover questions.
A bonus chapter
“Do you curl your own mane?” (the dobermans)
Of course I do! How else do you think it stayed curly in Tartarus?
"Anything you could share about the skull?" (the dobermans)
The skull? Oh, don’t worry, that thing is fake. I only have it on hoof to scare ponies. It helps me look more edgy and dark, you know?
Or, at least, I think it’s fake. I guess I don’t really know.
Next question, please?
“What's worse? Being locked in Tartarus or being petrified?” (NanoMouse)
Well, let’s see. In Tartarus, there’s nothing to do, and you don’t get meals. In stone, there’s nothing to do, you don’t get meals, you can’t move, you can’t breathe, and critters frequently use you as a jungle-gym-slash-bathroom.
Golly, I don’t know. Which one do you think would be worse?
“Did anyone even try looking for your parents or even look into your school files to see if you had any family at all and how did you get into Twilight’s school if you had no one to take care of you when you came to Ponyville or to sign papers to enroll you?” (CelticAwakening)
Lucky for me, Twilight allowed me to come to her school without any investigation whatsoever. Remember what I said about her wanting to make sure friendship was accessible for everycreature? That probably wasn’t her smartest move, but it definitely worked out well for me.
“Did Luna ever try talking to you in the dream realm to try and understand your motives better?” (CelticAwakening)
She did once, actually. However, I was in the middle of a dream about taking down the four princesses and ruling Equestria. She left as soon as she saw herself, Celestia, Cadance, and Twilight lying helplessly in cages around me.
“Where were you going to send the magic?” (irontiuay)
Where was I going to send the magic? Um…well…uh…I don’t know! I just wanted it gone from Equestria!
Do I need to have a plan for everything?
“Thoughts on Queen Chrysalis?” (irontiuay)
She drives me crazy! The way she thinks she should always be in charge, just because she was once the queen of the changelings. She’s not even their queen anymore! Her subjects threw her out of her own hive because she was such a lousy leader!
I have to say, I’m not too bummed out that she’s still in stone.
"What's your favorite treat?” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
Hmm, well, it used to be cupcakes, but that was before Pinkie Pie used Discord’s chaos magic to crush me with one. I guess it would probably have to be ice cream. Chocolate ice cream! With rainbow sprinkles!
"Where did you live while attending Twilight's school?" (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
At the school, in the students’ quarters.
“What was your working relationship with Spike like, when you were both Twilight's assistants? Was he ever jealous of you? If so, did you enjoy that fact?” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
Actually, we didn’t really interact that much. I was more of Twilight’s assistant for school stuff, and he was her assistant for princessy stuff. When we did interact, we got along fine.
But you know, I wouldn’t have minded if he was secretly a little bit jealous of me.
“Do you have any regrets? Whether out of genuine remorse or just the consequences you faced for your actions.” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
Mainly, I just regret getting caught. If I’d been just a little more careful about making sure nocreature was watching me, I could’ve gotten away with my plot to drain all the magic from Equestria. But that’s about it.
The only other thing is that I sometimes wish I hadn’t said those mean things to the Student Six, back before they got tested by the Tree of Harmony. They didn’t really deserve that.
“How do you think your parents feel? Are they still even around? Do you care either way?” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
My parents? Ha. They left me at an orphanage when I was just a foal. And I don’t know anything about them except that they were both Unicorns. I don’t even know why they left me. I wonder if they would have kept me if I were a Unicorn, too.
I don’t know how they feel, but I hope they felt really lousy when their spells stopped working, and then they learned that it was all thanks to the daughter they’d ditched nine years ago.
“Do you think the day will ever come when Twilight's willing to give you a second chance? If it does will you accept it? If you do, will it be because you're ready to make amends, just want to get out of your punishment, or just so you can stab her in the back later? Would you even know for sure?” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
Twilight’s already kind of giving me a second chance by freeing me from stone. And of course I’m accepting it; being in stone was awful! I’m not sure that I want to make amends, but it feels wrong to betray her after she freed me. I guess I am just glad to be getting out of my punishment.
“If you could do it all again, would you still betray Twilight and try to enact your evil plan again, but just try to take measures so it succeeds this time? Or would you abandon your plans? And if so, what would you do then?” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
Golly, that’s an interesting question. I would probably still try to drain all the magic from Equestria. But I’d be more careful to keep Gallus and Silverstream and the rest of them out of my mane.
“After getting free, what will your plans be going forward?” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
You mean after starting this YouTube channel? Golly, I don’t know. Probably trying to annoy Twilight as much as I can without getting turned back to stone.
“Do you think you're truly irredeemable? Do you even care?” (Saiyan Cartoon Champion)
I’m probably not truly irredeemable. But I don’t care to be reformed anytime soon.
. And the cover art was made using an MLP screencap and a stock photo. I know that's not usually the type of microphone you use if you're making a YouTube video, but whatever, it was the best picture I could find