Halls were bustling, ponies ran in and out of classrooms, and tension in the air was high. Pogo didn't care though, and it was all for good reason; it was the week of the final exam at the most prestigious magic arts academy in all of Canterlot, The Canterlot Arcane Research Program (or Carp for short, you can probably guess the school mascot. Gooooo Canterlot Fish!!!). The Exam was simple but also challenging: each student had to learn a high level spell and show off their mastery of it in front of the headmaster and the professors. Pogo left the library with his books in tow, making sure to weave in between the slacker ponies that have yet to get their books darting around the halls. Amateurs, it was their fault for keeping their books on hold~ Pogo would reach his dorm room and turn on the lights for his last study session before the exam. Stacks of books covered his living space and littered the floor, all checked out from the library card of Pogo Springs. Little light was shed through the room as it flickered on, only just enough to cover the workstation of Pogos tireless research. He moved the big, bouncy and multi shaded green mane from out of his eyes as he sat down to continue his work.
He eyed the pair of scissors lying on his desk. They were battered, broken and fully dismantled down to all of their components. Pogos horn would glow bright red as he wrapped his magic around the broken tool and began to focus. The magic he was trying to perfect was actually a spell from the restricted section of the library, strictly off limits to all students. Progress isn't made by following the rules though, he thought to himself. Breakthroughs must be made; so what's the harm in sneakily “checking out” and a super powerful spell and studying its contents? It was a restoration spell, not only able to restore objects to a pristine condition, but also reassemble them into a nigh unbreakable state. Months of studying the magic within had finally led to this moment, he could imagine it now. This magical breakthrough would spark one after the other!
“This spell is my one way ticket to success! I can already imagine all the discoveries to be made after I show this off! So many advancements in magic, medicine or even everyday convenience! When this is over, I will finally have-!”
Suddenly, Pogo was snapped out of his daydream by a blast of magic erupting from the scissors and they fell straight down, two thuds being heard shortly after. The blast wasn't big enough to cause any damage but it definitely knocked Pogo out of his daydream.
“Guess that's what I get for losing my focus…”
Pogo looked to the ground to see what had fallen. One was the pair of scissors, but before he could find the other his eyes fell on his right hoof; or moreso the lack thereof. He sighed as he stared at his foreleg that now ended in a smoothed over orange stump, and realized that the blade of the scissors sliced right through him as it fell. Pogo reached under his desk to grab his detached hoof as he was reminded how this all even started.
In the early stages of learning the spell, Pogo quickly discovered that it was not very compatible with living things. He had attempted to try the spell on himself to become unbreakable, but in turn it had given him the opposite effect of being quite fragile and his body would be able to come apart pretty much everywhere. It wasn't all bad though, all it took was pressing the discarded part back on the stump (what he had liked to call them) and it would attach good as new. He did just that by pressing his hoof that had fallen under his desk back on his leg and it reattached with a small popping noise. It certainly was an adjustment, but it has to be kept secret until the spell is safe. If they found out he stole a restricted book, he would be expelled on the spot! He had to make sure it was 100% safe and ready to show off. It was a good thing he was in the privacy of his own roo-
“POGO SPRINGS!!!”
Pogo yelped and bumped his head at the sudden entry of the Programs headmaster, Shining Example. If only his name was as he looked, he was just a long bearded brown unicron with a big old unibrow over his eyes; a unibrow that was furrowed right at him.
“H-Headmaster Example! Gosh you startled me… is everything ok?”
“You tell me young Springs, your dorm is a mess, you look like you haven't slept in days, and you still won't tell me what you have planned to show for the exam! It makes the gears turn in my mind when our top student still has yet to reveal his big project. I must say you have the other professors and I quite excited for it!”
The old stallion would chuckle at this, which Pogo returns with a nervous chuckle of his own.
“I-I just want to add the element of surprise to it sir! I'm sure that would maybe help my grade a little?”
“I guess we will have to see young one. However, I wanted to stop by to inform you that the rival buckball team from Griffinstone would be arriving today. The bad weather from last week forced us to push the game to exam week instead, so try not to let their “team spirit” distract you from your work.”
Great… the last thing he needed was rowdy jocks roaming the halls on exam week. Figures… Since when do Griffins even play Buckball anyway?
“I see… Well, thank you for informing me, sir! My work is certainly chugging along heheh-”
The professor would nod and twirl his beard with his magic
“Of course my boy, now I must be off to inform the other students as well. Good luck and stay clear of the halls for now, I know you aren't the sporty type of pony.”
The headmaster would leave and Pogo would sigh; it was an annoyance, but not one that would stop him from his work.
Hours would pass, more pages would add onto the collection of litter on Pogo's floor, and finally he breathed a sigh of relief. It was finished! Well- on paper anyway. The formulas matched, the math was correct and every variable was juuuuuust right! All that there was left to do was one final test before Pogo could shove his genius into all the faces of his classmates and teachers. Nothing in this moment could break his sheer concentration…except for the sudden fanfare that exploded outside the halls!
“Great…They're here…”
Seemed like they brought the whole band through the hall, music and cheers echoed outside the grumpy unicorns dorm as it seemed to travel around the school. It's no big deal, just wait for it all to pass and then do the testing. After what seemed like an eternity, the music died down and the walls stopped shaking. Guess they finally migrated to the sports field, only one way to find out though.
Pogo gets up from his desk and peeks out of his room to look around. Sure enough, it definitely seemed like a crowd passed through, the school janitor already right to work picking up their mess. No sign of them now, Pogo starts to close his door until…
KA-CHUNK
A strong yellow talon gets in between the door and its frame, slammed so hard that the wood immediately splintered.
“Well well well, looks like we stumbled into nerd central station~”
Pogo, the shivering wonder, would slowly look up at the tall and burly white griffon that blocked his escape. He was very blinding to look at, being clad in white feathers from head to toe save for his yellow talons and beak as well as his generic tan lion half. His glance continued upwards towards the griffon's confident and somewhat sinister looking blue eyes. His “hair” feathers seemed to curl upwards in the front, as well as some sticking up on the back of his head too. Pogo would nervously break the silence.
“C-can i help you? I-If you're lost i can show you where you need to-”
“Oh we’re not lost, just saw your big bushy mane peeking out and thought id say hi. Isn't this friendship stuff what you ponies are all about~?”
The way the griffin said those words did not reassure him that his intentions were pure, but the sound of the clearing of a throat made Pogo realize that there was more than just one griffin standing at his door. The white leader griffin seemed to have two grey lackeys standing behind him. One of them spoke up.
“I know picking on these ponies is fun and all Ollie, but we have the game starting soon! Shouldn't we wait until after we kick their multicolored butts to gloat to them?”
The leader would scoff and blow his hair feathers out of his eyes.
“Psh, well yeah eggs-for-brains! Of course we’re gonna do that, but the game doesn't start for another half hour anyway! Besides, they won't notice a player missing for a bit~”
The other griffin lackey spoke up next.
“Erm… actually- you ARE the team captain so there is a high probability that a higher up will notice your absence”
The white leader would smack his two followers on the head and groan.
“Exactly! I'm the captain and what I say goes! Now are there any more objections in those beaks of yours?”
The twin grey griffons would look at each other and then back at their “leader”
“Whatever man, we’re gonna go catch some good seats for the game. Just don't be late or you know the coach will have your ass on a platter later.”
And with that, the other two griffons fly off to the sports field leaving their charismatic leader alone at Pogos' door. Good, they're bickering. Now is a good time to slowly shut the do-
“Hey! I ain't finished with you, pony. I don't need those featherbrains to tell me what I can and can't do! First off, why don't we start by having a look around hmm~?”
The white griffin that those other griffins called Ollie would stop Pogos escape and fling open the door, taking a step inside of the unicorns dorm.
“H-Hey this has got to be breaking some kind of privacy rule! You can't just barge in like you-”
“Relax orange peel, I'm just seeing what kind of cool stuff you have lying around. Ugh, would it kill you to redecorate though? All these books and you can at least afford to hang up a poster or two-”
Pogo watched as Ollie's eyes would sparkle at the glowing spell book on his desk, the same spell book that he has been working with for many moons. The same spellbook that Ollie was now reaching for. The same spell book that could cause CHAOS and DESTRUCTION if used in the wrong hooves, or in this case, talons!
“DON'T TOUCH THAT! That book is highly unstable! If you tamper with any of its pages i don't know what will-”
Ollie scoffs yet again as he holds the book in one talon.
“Relax dirt mane, what's the worst that could-”
And those were the last words uttered in that room for that moment as a bright light erupted from the book and all around the room, causing the two inside to slowly lose consciousness…
The feeling of a loose page slapping Pogo on the face woke him up immediately. The wind had flung open from the explosion and had made his messy room well… messier. Pogo stood up and checked himself, everything still seemed to be attached. A glance at his wall clock would tell him that he was only out for about 10 minutes, good thing that it wasn't a long nap. As Pogo dusted himself off, the white figure of Ollie slowly stirred to life.
“Are you happy now?! You could have gotten us both killed! The magic I'm working with is volatile and dangerous and you didn't even take any caution with handling it!”
Ollie would remain silent as he stood up slowly
“Hey, I'm talking to you! You can't just act like you didn't almost make my room into a crater! I mean, were lucky to even be in one p-AH”
Pogo was suddenly hoisted into the air by Ollie, holding Pogo like a cat with his talons under his legs as he flapped his wings.
“And who do you think you're talking to like that, pony?! I do what I damn please and from the way I see it, this is all your mess. So if you don't mind, I'm gonna… im…. Gonna…holy shit- your ass man!”
Pogo was confused, your ass man? What kind of lame insult was that? It wasn't until he followed Ollie's frightened glance that he realized what he had really meant. The sudden imprisonment in “air jail” had caused Pogo's lower half to come loose and struggle to stand on its own. Ollie dropped Pogo on his bed and flew back down.
“H-hey gentle! It's just a side effect from the spell when it's not handled properly, which is why I warned you! I messed it up on an earlier phase of testing and now I come apart pretty much anywhere…all it takes is placing it back to reattach it, though it doesn't take much to-Hey! I can still feel that you know!”
Ollie was only half listening to Pogo's explanation as he was poking the ponys’ orange, freckled behind with a talon.
“Yeah yeah I'm listening, this is freaky as hell though. Pony magic is wild! It's like there wasn't anything there in the first place…”
Ollie would pick up Pogo's lower half by the one of the two socked legs with one talon and hold it up, causing it to squirm in confusion. He then places his other talon on the stump of the separation point of the suspended posterior. The feeling of this caused Pogos face to flush with red color, sure he had experimented on himself before by feeling his “stumps” before but this was the first that it was being done by someone else! He started to shake a little, the sharp talon of a griffon was also a new feeling to him. Ollie broke his racing thoughts by speaking, but he didnt notice Pogo's reactions.
“So since I was half listening, you said this can happen to you pretty much anywhere right? Let's do a little testing, since you love that oh so much~?”
Before Pogo could do even an ounce of protesting on that subject, he watched (and very much felt) as Ollie stuck a claw into the side of his lower half and moved it around in a circular motion. It almost looked like those spy movies where glass would be cut into a perfect circle. He went all the way around and when he reached his starting point again, a perfectly cut orange and white disc of Pogo popped out and fell onto the floor. He had to admit, this was never an experiment he would have conducted.
“Ha ha! Check it, it's like a pony pizza pie!”
Ollie would pick up the Pogo disc and start spinning it around on his finger, giving it a few tosses in the air here and there too.
“You need to stop this at once! You're messing with things you don't understand and you're gonna hurt yourself or someone else!”
“Well I'm messing with you, and what I I understand is that you're being a paranoid little orange slice~ oh! Better yet, an orange frisbee! I did need a new one.”
Ollie would smirk at Pogo, before tossing the orange and white nerd slab like a frisbee. What the griffin didn't expect was the disc to start bouncing off the walls off the room at a high speed. Must have been due to Ollie's strength and, well, they didn't call him Pogo Springs for nothing. The Pogo frisbee would bounce around faster than even Ollie could track, and that proved to be his downfall as the disc collided with the head of the griffin. The impact caused Ollie's head to rocket off of his shoulders and crash out of Pogos' window. How convenient.
Pogos' slice would land on Ollie's neck, laying there like wet paper as the griffin's body patted at it blindly. Seems like the explosion cursed Ollie with the same side effect as Pogo, another thing on his plate to deal with…. Without wasting any more time thinking about it, Pogo would use his magic to get himself back together. After fitting his slice and lower half back in place, he dashed to the window to see where Ollies head had landed. Hilariously enough, he spotted the bird head in none other than a bird's nest in the tree right under his window. Pogo chuckled to himself at the irony, serves him right for messing with things he did not understand. It seemed the landing knocked him unconscious again, otherwise Pogo would probably be getting an earful right now.
As much as he would love to leave the bully there to learn his lesson, Pogo had no choice but to come to his rescue. If that buckball game was starting soon, and if Ollie is the team captain, someone is bound to notice his disappearance. If they found him like this, then Pogo's chances of passing would be ruined!
Pogo turns to the behemoth of a body stumbling around his room and thinks to himself, he can't just leave it here without supervision. Then again, he can't just walk around the school with a headless body too. Suddenly he got an idea, it was time for a little arts and crafts~ Using the many discarded pieces of paper from the floor, two rulers, a couple thumbtacks and lots of tape, Pogo had constructed a pretty impressive looking paper Ollie head. He sticks it on the confused Griffon's neck and admires his handiwork, making something with his hooves felt strangely…right. No time to think about that though, he throws a blanket over Ollie's body to at least make him look normal enough from a distance, and he carefully leads the body outside.
The halls had been thankfully barren, due to the exams and the Buckball game happening. The tree that he had to go to was located close to where the Buckball stadium was so the shortest route there was gonna be the sports hall exit. Getting there wasn't too much of an issue, it was empty like most of the other halls save for a few occupied ponies. The only obstacle in his way was the locked exit door to the outside, guess they didn't want that door being used to clear the way for the game. The tree was right there and he didn't really have the time to delay. The lock seemed simple enough, if only he had something thin and sharp enough to pick it… His eyes immediately feel on Ollie's talons, yeah that will do. Using his magic, Pogo pops off one of the talons of the oblivious griffon's body and inserts a claw into the lock. After a bit of effort, the lock would click and the door would creak open. Guess it was good that Pogo brought the body along after all. He reattached Ollie's talon and as Pogo dashed out the door, he didn't notice Ollie's body being snagged by one of the previous griffin lackeys that had come out of the nearby locker room.
“There you are dude! The game was about to start without you! Had to sprint over here to look for you! Anyway there's no time, take your helmet and get out there!”
The lackey would quickly take off the blanket and slam a sports helmet onto the decoy head, not even noticing said head in the rush. He pushed Ollie's body past the locker room and into the crowded stadium.
Meanwhile, Pogo would hurry over to the tree to see if Ollie had awoken, and the sound of grunts of pain, cursing, and birds squawking would give him his answer.
“Goddamnit stop! I don't want to be here either! Can you stop pecking me!?
Pogo would roll his eyes and use his magic to float the angry birds’ head out of the tree, to which the pony was met with a very angry glare.
“You! You have a lot of nerve coming back to me! Look what you did to me, I oughta peck your eyes out!”
“What I did?! You were the one who burst into my room for “fun” and messed with forbidden magic! I tried to warn you and this is what you get! I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go back for you!”
Ollie would raise an eyebrow
“Forbidden magic huh? I didn't take you for the troublemaking type. I guess the head ponies in charge don't know about this?”
“Look, sometimes the biggest breakthroughs can only be achieved by bending a few rules. I intend on perfecting this spell so nothing can happen again! They wouldn't understand though, all they would see is that I stole the spell and I'd get expelled on the spot!”
“Huh, didn't expect you to have a spine, especially from a bookworm pony like you. I gotta say though, I respect the hustle for your goal. Can't do much in this world without breaking a few rules~”
“Was that a compliment coming out of your beak~?”
Ollie would scoff and blow his hair feathers out of his face again.
“Not on your life pony, but if it was then you better keep it between us. Besides, I'm not being totally nice to you until you fix this mess! Didn't you say all you had to do was put a part back where it was and it should fix itself?”
“Right, it's that simple! And good thing your body is just right- aww cripes… your body!”
Pogo turned around and finally noticed that he had left Ollie's body behind in the mad dash to the tree, and the eruption from the stadium confirmed where it had ended up.
“So don't be maaaaad, but I didn't wanna leave your body alone cuz I don't know what it would do by itself so I made a decoy head so nobody would notice and took it with me to go get you but i must have got too excited in running to get your head that i left your body alone and i fear my disguise worked too well and your body got found and was taken to the Buckball which is now starting!!!”
Pogo would pant loudly after the long explanation and Ollie would give the most “done with life” expression there could ever be made with a face.
“Well then I highly suggest you get your flank over there or we’re both royally fucked!”
After racing back to his room to grab his saddlebags and put Ollie inside, Pogo raced to the Buckball stadium and stopped at the metal fence. He didn't exactly have a ticket to get in, due to the fact he usually has no interest in these events, so sneaking in had to be his only option. As Pogo was trying to figure out how to get over the iron obstacle, Ollie would stir in his bag.
“I got this, hold me up to the fence!”
Doing as instructed, Pogo floated Ollie out of the saddlebag and held him up to the fence. Ollie would chomp down on the wired fence with his beak, cutting cleanly through it! Pogo moved him around in a circle to make a perfect entrance for the two of them to slip through.
“Huh- brutish…but effective~”
“I dont keep this beak sharpened just for looks, but that's not important. Look!”
Pogo would immediately see what had grabbed Ollie's attention; a burly white griffin with a slanted head and a helmet on would be in the middle of the field, leading the team of griffins against the opposing team of ponies. Wow, that disguise worked way too well. They were out of time, which means the only option was…
“I have to get on that field”
Ollie would squawk in disbelief
“What!? Are you crazy!? You'll get steamrolled if you charge in there! A pony of your size won't stand a chance!”
It would probably be the most ballsy thing Pogo has ever done, but there was no time for a thought out plan; this was all he could. Before Ollie could get another squawk of protest out, Pogo took off his saddle bags and sprinted onto the field. There were a few confused murmurs from the crowd, but that didn't stop the starting whistle from being blown.
Before Pogo could even yell “wait!”, he felt the force of what felt like a dragon barrel into him from all sides. The world seemed to dance around him for a moment, the lights of the stadium flashing every which way as it felt like he was flying. Then…it stopped. And he was caught in a net? The world finally righted itself and Pogo saw a sight that was the worst possible outcome of this whole situation. The players were caught in a giant pile, thrown off by Pogos sudden interference. The only figure that still stood on the field was Ollie's body, mostly due to the fact that he didn't charge in though. The next thing Pogo noticed was the fact that in the commotion, his fool proof disguise had slid off of Ollie's neck to reveal his headless form to the crowd. Surprisingly enough, that wasn't what the crowd was focused on. Screams erupted as Pogo began to notice more and more. He spied a socked hoof in a fainted spectators popcorn bucket, an orange horn sticking out of a discarded glob of cotton candy, and his limbless body out in the smack dab middle of the field. The force of the tackle from all those players had made Pogo quite literally explode across the whole stadium, which would make this net… yep- He had landed upside down right in the goal of a Buckball net. It wasn't until after he saw the griffin teams coach and Headmaster Shining Example come out with Ollie's head in tow did Pogo realize that he was truly and…how did Ollie put it? Right- royally fucked…
Being dragged to the Principal's office as a floating head and body was probably the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to Pogo. Apparently he had lost track of time from all the commotion and his scheduled exam time had started while he was at the Buckball field. That would explain why the professor had been there looking for him… He wasn't alone though, Ollie (who was now back in one piece finally) and Pogo were seated on two chairs across from the desk of Headmaster Example, also being joined by the coach of the griffin Buckball team. The not so amused teacher magically placed Pogos head back on his neck and sat across from the two troublemakers at his desk.
“Allow me to see if I have it all straight here. Not only did you two cause a disturbance in a school sporting event leading to its cancellation, but you two also dabbled with highly potent and volatile magics that I keep locked away for a reason and scared half of our students to death!?”
“It wasn't his fault professor! It was all me…”
Pogo would clear his throat and continue
“I did steal the spell from your personal archives and i'm sorry, but it was for a good reason! I figured if i could perfect a spell that not even you could master, then i'd graduate top of my class for sure! I know it was wrong, but surely you understand that sometimes drastic things must be done for progress right?”
The professor would twirl his beard as he thought about what to say next
“Young Pogo, I fully believe your intentions were pure but you can see why I kept a spell of such power locked away. It's too dangerous for ponykind, which is why I will be burning it posthaste. I'm glad nopony got hurt and you learned your lesson but measures still must be taken on this, which is why with a heavy heart…I must expel you.”
Pogo hung his head low, fully expecting this answer. It's what he expected at this point, but to his surprise Ollie had something to say about it.
“You can't just do that! Er- with all due respect Mr professor pony sir, but it really wasn't all his fault! I barged into his room and messed with stuff I shouldnt have and pretty much caused this whole mess!”
The professor would sigh and furrow his brow
“Yes, we are well aware of your antics on the account of other anonymous sources.”
The old and grumpy griffin coach would chime in now
“And it's finally time something is done about it! Every time we have an away game, you always do something to cause trouble and I'm sick of it! This kind of thing was the last straw so your ass is off the team!”
“What!? I can't believe those two snitched on me!”
Ollie would have said more on the matter, but looking at how defeated Pogo was made him keep his beak shut.
“I'm sorry my boy, but it has to be done. You are a bright pupil nonetheless, I have no doubt you will bounce back from this. You can pack up your stuff tonight, but I want you out the following morning”
And with that, the professor excuses the two from his office.
A FEW YEARS LATER
Pogo lay on his pillow with a book closed in his lap, remembering what had happened years ago. He looked out from his window to the view of Ponyville, it definitely wasn't the first place he thought he would end up in. As he was thinking to himself, his griffon roommate Ollie would enter without knocking.
“Hey Springboard, I'm gonna head out for a night of fun with the guys, you wanna- oh! Should I have knocked~?”
Pogo grumbled at the birds sudden entry. His pillow that he was laying on was actually his lower half, he turned his head to face Ollie while still his cheek was still touching his null behind.
“You never do, so why bother asking?”
“Heh, you always make that seem so comfortable, but every time i try it my feathers juts get in the way- it does make me kinda jealous”
Pogo would just go back to staring out the window, which would make Ollie sigh and take a seat next to him.
“I know that look, you thinking about what happened again?”
Pogo would sigh and face Ollie
“Is it that obvious? I just still can't believe that I ever moved past it, school was my life and getting expelled made me feel so empty.”
“Well yeah it sucked, but look where we are now! Living together in a good spot in ponyville, I got a good gig as a coach for a local Buckball team, and you got a new thing going for you now!”
Ollie would gesture to Pogo's tinkering workbench and all the various inventions he had made on shelves around his room.
“You found a new calling with this inventing stuff!”
Pogo would laugh at that.
“Yeah, who knew my calling to crafting and inventing would have been sparked by making a paper model of my roommate's head~?”
“It doesn't matter how it happened man, just that it did! And one day you're gonna make something that will change all the lives of these ponies!”
“Well I appreciate it Ollie, I really do. Though i gotta ask, why did you decide to stick with me after what happened? I pretty much cursed you and got you kicked out of your school's Buckball team, the Ollie I used to know would have beat the stuffing outta me for that.”
“Heh, he probably would have, wouldn't he? I guess I just liked your spunk, it showed me that even weak ponies such as yourself can have a pair of balls. Plus you did a lot for me that day, running around every which way for me and all that. Even i knew that you really did go out of your way for me”
Ollie would snatch Pogos rear end from under him and lay on his null behind jokingly, also nipping at the null spot with his beak which would push a heavy blush across Pogos face.
“Ugh, i hate when you do that… you just stayed behind cuz i'm easy to pick on, admit it~”
“Eh, it's an added bonus~ and no you don't hate it, your face says otherwise.”
Ollie would get up to leave but turns around for a second.
“Oh one more thing, was thinking of what our next modular experiment could be. That's what you call it right? Maybe
we could try taking off just our faces, like they’re masks or something?
Pogo would chuckle.
“That sounds… really silly”
“Nah admit it, it's a good idea! Don't you dare try it without me!”
“I got it, I got it. Now go have fun with your friends~”
Ollie left the house and Pogo sighed, he did have a point. Even after everything that happened, things seemed to be going well. One day he's gonna have a perfect invention to show for it too. It was just as the Professor said, he did manage to bounce back. It is in the name after all.
