Friendship, Power, and Tentacles

by Casketbase77

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tirek, Mystery, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2295

A magic monster from another dimension has descended on the Canterlot Sculpture Gardens. It's not happy. And it has very unflattering questions for somepony stuck there.

It's been a long time since the Canterlot Sculpture Gardens had a visitor. It's been even longer since any prisoners got de-petrified. But an eldritch horror from beyond reality has descended, and it wants answers.

Or just one answer, really. And the filly who shares its likeness should be able to provide it.

Cozy always did love the sound of her own voice, didn't she?

This is an entry in the Snippet Series, an anthology of old oneshots that I (and my good buddy Str8aura) wrote based around interesting pics I found. New ones will be posted every other Thursday for the foreseeable future.

Published 2025-01-09 02:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2025-01-09 02:40:00 UTC

Interdimensional Inquiry

When the statue broke, Chrysalis was ready.

The longer she’d stayed petrified, the more ready she’d become. The number of passing days was no concern. Enough had passed that the wall Chrys faced was overgrown with vines. And then the vines aged and crumbled. And then the crumbles had grew into new vines, overtaking the wall again by gripping pockets and pits Chrys had watched form by decades of wind and rain. And though the Canterlot Sculpture Gardens were eroding before Chrysalis’s fossilized eyes, she herself was not. She was coiled like a spring. Notched like a crossbow. Ready.

When the statue broke, Chrysalis’s powers flooded back. This was right, this was anticipated. She’d been locked in a pouncing pose for decades, and when - not if, when - it was time to escape, she’d knew she'd be lurching forward. Tumbling. Vulnerable. And she was right. But the queen of the changelings was clever, so much more clever than gravity. Midair, she ignited a hoop of shapeshifting magic. Chrysalis had run this scenario countless times with every choice of animal. A weightless Breezie to slow her fall. A rubbery Parasprite to tank the impact. An unassuming colt to blend in with surrounding crowds. So many options, so many tools to either fight or flee. Eventually she’d settled on the safest mix of all traits. So what bounced off the weathered sidewalk was a turtle tucked safely in her shell.

Yes. Yes!

She slid to a stop in a patch of dirt that long ago might have grown grass. Perfectly camouflaged, perfectly protected. Never mind the fact she was awkwardly laying her back. Chrysalis was still a Changeling, still in command of fearsome insectoid perception. Her psychic radar swept the area, reading the emotions of anyone - no, everyone - nearby.

Tirek had broken free too, or rather gotten freed without expecting it. So said his pale yellow aura of confusion. He’d collapsed onto his haunches, Chrys’s turtle eyes perceived. His pale yellow aura pulsed with green, and that meant mild discomfort. The sun hurt his eyes and he was rubbing them. Tirek was no threat, at least for the next few seconds. Contemptuous. Pathetic. Deserving any misfortune that happened to him.

Someone else hit the same sidewalk that Chrysalis bounced off.

“Ouchies! My knee!” Cozy Glow’s poisoned dulcet whinny was exaggerated. She wasn’t in pain, since her aura had no green in it. There were flecks of indignant red, but mostly bright white fear. She hugged her uninjured leg, mewling through crocodile tears. It was a messy impromptu attempt at deception. Chrysalis had seen better acting from freshly hatched grubs. Still, the only trait Cozy lacked more than power was dignity. And given the intensity of her aura’s whiteness, this was likely the best gambit the frightened foal could manage. It was more proactive than Tirek at least, who’d gone from rubbing his eyes to scratching his flank and sneezing.

Chrysalis made the snap decision to abandon them. Helpless little Cozy would at any moment be set upon by whoever undid the petrification. Tirek would assuredly verbally protest, drawing attention for precious seconds. Enough time for Chrys to shapeshift into a pegasus and jet away. Woe to her ex companions who had not been ready. Woe to any creature without proper readiness.

Another hoop, another change, and Queen Chrysalis was back on her default form’s hooves, glancing up above for an escape route.

Woe to herself.

Green. Purple. Brown Pink Red Cyan YellowChartruesePeriwinkleGambogeSaffronVermillionPuceSarcalineVantablackSarcolineAramarathCoquelicotTaupeEcruOctarineXanaduHeliotropeEburneanRazzmatazzMalachiteFandangoNacaratIsabellineSmaragdineCeladonSilverLimerickBurntSiennaBistreMikadoXCapuutMortuumAureolinCitrineCinnabarHarlequinLiseranCarmineCatawbaErinThistleGoldenrodSepiaBlankBlank BLANKBLANKBLANKBLANKBLANKBLANKBLANKBLANK

Chrysalis screamed, white in both aura and face. Then her compound eyes rolled back and she keeled over. However, spittle frothed on the edge of her limp mouth with each ragged breath, confirming she was still alive.

“THE BUG ONES ALWAYS DO THAT,” lamented the entity. “NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME THEY’RE GIVEN TO BE READY.”

“Always do that, huh?” Tirek had moved from sitting to standing. “You in the business of making Changelings faint like goats? No judgement here; that one at least had it coming.”

The entity (there was really no other word for it) fixed Tirek with a few of its vacillating yellow eyes. “NEW SUNS IN MY HOME UNIVERSE HAVE FLARED FROM NOTHINGNESS AND TO NOTHINGNESS RETURNED DURING THE TIMESPAN OF MY TRAVELS.”

“Sounds like a lot of traumatized Changelings, then.”

“Heeeey,” Cozy complained from her spot on the sidewalk. “I said I hurt my knee. What’s more important, Tirek? Talking to the big octopus, or kissing your best friend’s boo-boo?”

“YOU TWO ARE IMPRESSIVELY UNPERTURBED BY THE SIGHT OF ME.”

“I’ve done some time in magic jail,” Tirek shrugged. “And seen my share of monsters.”

“Stop ignoring me,” Cozy whined louder. “Help me up and dust me off. There’s nopony else around to do it!”

She was correct. There weren’t any ponies within a week’s trot of the abandoned overgrown field that was once the Canterlot Sculpture Gardens. There hadn’t been for many decades. The nearest settlement was an Earth Pony coastal town due west, across a sea now known as Maretime Bay.

The entity swiveled its eye analogues towards Cozy Glow now, and Tirek took a quick unnoticed step closer.

“Must’ve been you who broke us out.” Tirek’s comment wasn’t a question.

“NO SPELL IN THE OMNIVERSE IS BEYOND MY ABILITY TO CAST OR INVERT.” The entity’s tentacles rippled with magic, one of them extending to Cozy. Her babydoll face scrunched with disgust as suction cups pulled her to her hooves.

“No spells at all?" Tirek echoed flatteringly. He took another unnoticed step closer. “You must be… strong.” The energy-stealing centaur was nearly within touching distance of his prey.

“STRENGTH IS FOOL’S GOLD. I STRIP-MINED TOO MANY TIMELINES BEFORE REALIZING THAT. NOW I ROAM THE REMAINING OMNIVERSE FOR AN ANSWER. YOU, PEGASUS, ARE YOU A VERSION OF ME WHO KNOWS IT?”

Cozy Glow’s feathers anxiously flared. “Version of who that knows what now?” The entity’s biology was hard to coherently comprehend, but its dominant colors were light blue and tan. Much like her own. Exactly like her own.

Tirek ignored the entity’s words and strangely sad expression. Stealing the thing's powers would make it easy to ditch Chrys and Cozy. That’s the price they payed for not sharing his instincts for opportunism. Chumps.

Rushing forward, he latched his hands onto the alien’s soft hide.

“FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, DO NOT SIPHON MY-”

A supersonic roar of magical blowback blasted Tirek across the yard. He crumpled against the wall and didn’t move afterwards.

“THE RED ONES ALWAYS MAKE THE SAME GREEDY CHOICE.” The entity looked very discouraged. “NO MATTER HOW MANY CHANCES I GIVE THEM NOT TO.”

As the echo of Tirek’s KO faded off the surrounding mountains, Cozy Glow was highly conscious that she was the last mare standing. Defenseless in the forgotten future, towered over by a reality warping version of herself from some far off dimension.

Naturally, she tried stroking its ego.

“So… how many Tireks and Chrysalis-s have you defeated in your, um, travels?”

“JUST TWO. THE ONES FROM MY POINT OF ORIGIN. ALL OTHERS SINCE THEN HAVE DEFEATED THEMSELVES.” The entity’s depressed gaze wasn’t on her. It’s depressed gaze wasn’t really on anything.

“Neato. So you got the drop on ‘em back where you came from. Probably stole their powers too, yeah? That’s how you got all big and… oh, wait, I should ask: did you always look like this? Or does everypony where you’re from look like this?”

“NONE OF THEM ARE LEFT. BUT NO, PONIES START AS PONIES IN EVERY BUBBLE OF REALITY. I BEGAN AS A PEGASUS FOAL WITH AMBITIONS. SO DID OUR COUNTERPART WHO BECAME A DRAGON LORD. AND THE ONE WHO BECAME A LITCH, THE SEVERAL DOZEN WHO ASCENDED TO ALICORNHOOD…”

Cozy shuffled her hooves. “I did that last one too, for a hot minute. It just didn’t stick.”

“THE HEIGHTS THEY ALL REACHED WERE NEVER HIGH ENOUGH. EACH ONE I MET WAS DISSATISFYING.”

“Eh? Whaddya mean by- you aren’t here to eat me, are you?!”

If the roles were reversed, Cozy knew that would have been her own intention. Eliminate anyone anywhere that was a threat. And who could possibly be more threatening than other ascended versions of herself?

“I CEASED NEEDING FOOD MILLIONS OF EPOCHS BEFORE MY TRAVELS. ALWAYS I APPROACH MY COUNTERPARTS WITH COOPERATION IN MIND.”

“Oh! So you’re on a recruitment drive! Of course! Do we have a base back in your home dimension? Are we the League Of Cozy Glows or the Council of Cozy Glows? No wait, it's gotta be Empire! Gotta say, I’m flattered you deemed little ol’ petrified me was worth your time, but I’d absolutely love to be your vice-”

“THERE IS NO LEAGUE.”

“No empire?”

“NO SYNONYMS OF THE SORT. I VISIT, I QUESTION, I LEAVE DISAPPOINTED AND KEEP SEARCHING FOR MY ANSWER.”

Cozy’s mind whirled. She was not an inquisitive filly. She could read most ponies at a glance, and knew what buttons to push to get them to obey her. That was what she wanted. She couldn’t fathom ever wanting anything else. Except for power, she supposed. Even with enough to reach space octopus apotheosis, that just opened the dimensional door to pursue more power, didn’t it?

“So what… what is it you wanted to ask?” Cozy fancied herself pretty good at telling others what they wanted to hear. Telling things to herself though, that was unknown territory.

The entity bent down, its mercurial eyes clearer and more focused than they’d been since arriving.

“I HAVE MET COZIES WHO CAPTAINED WONDERBOLTS. HEADED SCHOOLS. BUILT CASTLES ON MOUNTAINTOPS, SLAYED MONSTERS IN ARENAS, AND TOPPLED HEROES IN DIRECT COMBAT. BUT NONE OF THEM….” In the creature’s shiny, shimmering hide Cozy saw numberless fractals of her own nervous reflection. “NONE OF THEM,” the entity repeated, “WERE HAPPY. SO ALWAYS, I MOVE ON. TO THE NEXT UNIVERSE. THIS TIME, TO YOURS. SO ARE YOU DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF US? ARE YOU HAPPY?”

In the desolate ruins of the Canterlot Royal Gardens, it was quiet enough to hear a feather drop. The only noise was the light breeze through the dead trees, the quiet breaths of the still comatose Chrysalis and Tirek, and the heavy thump of Cozy’s own heartbeat in her hot, reddened ears.

“Uh…”

Never before in her life had Cozy had any trouble lying. She was having trouble now.

“GOLLY,” the entity sighed. “I ALWAYS HOPE FOR A YES, BUT NEVER HEAR ONE. MY SEARCH CONTINUES.” Horns wreathed its gelatinous head, and the tips of each sparked with imminent spellcasting. “SORRY FOR INTRUDING. I’LL RETURN YOU THREE TO STONE NOW.”

“Don’t do that!” Cozy shrieked. So loudly and with such an intense aura of pink defiance that Chrysalis twitched. The entity flinched too, confusion folding its facial features.

“NO? BUT… I DISTURBED YOU. THE AI ASCENDANT COZY ASKED ME TO LOG OFF HER DESKTOP ON MY WAY OUT. AND THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL ONE HAD ME SIGN THE OFFICE GUESTBOOK. WERE YOU ALSO NOT BUSY WITH YOUR OWN AFFAIRS?”

The redness spread from Cozy’s ears to her cheeks. “I wasn’t, ya know, a statue by choice." The admission burned like bile bubbling up. Of all her versions that ended up as queen, conqueror, archmage or eldritch god, her own role just had to be the defeated, imprisoned child. Cozy disappointed herself. All versions of herself. Except the one in front of her, apparently. Because it was suddenly grinning ear to ear.

“OH…” it giggled. “OH! OF COURSE, OF COURSE. I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED YOUNG. AND YOU ARE. IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME I MIGHT EVENTUALLY ARRIVE TOO EARLY.”

“Eh?”

“YOU HAVEN’T REACHED YOUR VERSION OF VICTORY YET,” the entity was babbling like an excited foal. “WELL NO RUSH, NO RUSH. I’LL RETURN ONCE YOU HAVE. AND PERHAPS THEN… GOLLY, I’M ON PINS AND NEEDLES… PERHAPS THEN YOU’LL HAVE BECOME THE ONE WHO FOUND IT. OUR ANSWER. OUR HAPPINESS.”

Cozy started to say something in protest, but a rip in reality opened and shut, the entity squelching through it like a rabbit under a fence. The former Canterlot Gardens were deserted once more.

Cozy looked up at the sky. Then down at her hooves. She looked nearby at Chrysalis and far off at Tirek. The entity had been right, in its own manic view of things. The entirety of Equestria was open to her now, wasn’t it? Nopony left who knew Cozy's name, face, or crimes. Well, aside from these two, but ditching them here and now would fix that.

A clean slate. A mulligan. Another shot at world domination. And this time, Cozy Glow was wiser. Hardened. Confident she’d thrive in this new generation of suckers to con. She’d be powerful. Obeyed.

But probably not happy.

Cozy Glow sat down, rump resting on the same pedestal she’d languished on for decades. She could afford to languish a little longer. Tirek lay in the same stunned state countless of his counterparts had. Chrysalis likewise.

“Always making the same choices,” Cozy murmured. “No matter how many chances they get.”

She did not fly away. Did not ditch her old bonds to go conquer her planet like so many Cozies before her.

Instead, Cozy stayed. And waited to talk things out with her friends.

Author's Note

To make the right choice, you first have to know a right choice exists. And if you have to rope your pessimistic buddies along with you, so be it.

My attempt at a right choice is coming back to Fimfiction after a year off. 2024 didn't exactly look like the journey taken by Tentacle Cozy here, but to me it sure felt like it.

Good to be back. Here's to 2025 being where we find the happiness.